The Librarians (2014–2018): Season 4, Episode 2 - And the Steal of Fortune - full transcript

What?

I'm not parked in two spots.

Come on, man.

What?

Lucky? Not today.

Keys...

Hello?

You sure this is necessary?

That thing almost burned
down Yosemite National Forest.

Well, Jonas Salk had to test his
vaccine, we have to test our tools.

Jenkins, if you're making brekkie, I
will take some tomato and avocado.



Not an ordinary
toaster, Mr. Jones.

This is the Toaster
of Albuquerque.

I think I'm going to be using
it as our new artifact tester.

What happened to
our old artifact tester?

No, not a new artifact
tester, a tester of new artifacts.

And our old tester of artifacts?

Our scanners used
to determine age

by the breakdown of
magic within the artifact,

akin to carbon dating.

But with the ley lines
dormant and prophecy ended,

we need new tools
to detect new magic.

I understand completely.

If I could still get some avocado
on mine, just on the side...

- It's not...
- I understand



what you're saying,
Cassandra, okay,

but I spent my whole life
hiding from who I really was.

Now that I'm at peace
with it, I can't tell anybody?

But that's the way
that it's always been.

I don't understand why
it's bothering you now.

You do not... Jones, okay?

The Super Bowl, yeah.
Somebody wins the Super Bowl,

they throw 'em a parade.

Sometimes we get toast.

Guys, back when I
was in counter-terrorism,

we used to fight
catastrophe all the time.

We couldn't talk about
it. Comes with the job.

See, it's perfectly normal
to want recognition,

but this is the job
we signed up for.

- We don't get to be...
- Normal, exactly.

You won't live normal lives.

You're not normal
people. You're Librarians.

Flynn, what are you
doing in the mirror?

Well, after we
tether to the Library,

I'll be taking on
certain responsibilities

that used to be
performed by Judson,

namely surprising you by popping up
into mirrors, TV screens, and windows.

And I think I've finally
mastered how to do it.

Why are you guys upside down?

Wait! No normal lives,
not at all, not ever?

It's just now that I'm not
living with the constant fear

of the brain tumor killing me,

I just thought I'd be able to
experience things that normal people do.

You have a higher calling now,

your life, your commitment
here in the Library.

No relationships, families?

- No friends?
- Friends? No.

No, especially not friends.

Why are you doing this?

Because this is how we'll
communicate with the team from afar.

I'm gonna get to the bottom
of this if it's the last thing I do.

Wait, so why can't
we have friends?

Because emotional
ties outside the Library

cause chaos and
distraction and confusion.

All right, well,
Thomas Aquinas said,

"There is nothing on this Earth
more to be prized than true friendship."

Thomas Aquinas? Thomas
Aquinas was never a Librarian.

Thomas Aquinas barely
made the waiting list.

Listen, guys, I know
what you're going through.

It happened to me.

There comes a point in
time in every Librarian's life

when he has to deal with the
downside of being a superhero.

- Superhero?
- That is what we are, in a way.

We can do amazing things,
but we don't do normal things.

It's like my old friend and
mentor Judson once said.

He used to say to me, "You have to
think of yourself as being celibate monks."

Yeah, but you're
not. You have Baird.

- Doesn't count.
- What?

What I mean is you,
sweetie, are from the Library,

so you understand the life in
the way that an outsider wouldn't.

Well, I'm not
buying it, all right?

As a matter of fact,
I'm gonna take Ezekiel

and go see one of my
friends, Slayton, all right?

We're gonna drink some beer.

Uh...

We're gonna bet on some
ponies, like real people, all right?

You ready, Jones?

- I was born ready.
- Take off the hat.

- But I was...
- Take off the hat.

- I don't count?
- Sweetie, that's not what...

This is what I was looking for.

Oh, look at this, huh?

Excitement of the race.

You can smell the horse sweat.

Nothing more pure.

It's not gonna bite.

Maybe not.

You don't have to
worry about me, mate.

The 12 deadliest animals in the
world all come from my hometown.

Well, good, because
they can sense fear.

Slayton, how you doin', Bubba?

Good, man.

What are you doing here?

What do you mean?
You invited me weeks ago.

Oh, that's right, I did.

Man, things have been crazy.

You bein' here is the first
good thing to happen in a while.

Well, this is my
colleague, Ezekiel Jones.

You two work on
the pipeline together?

No, we... Something
like that, yeah.

Then maybe you
can explain this guy.

He's one of the
smartest dudes I know.

He's like a walkin' library.

But he doesn't want to be any
more than an oil field roughneck.

Hey.

- Glad you're here, Jake.
- Thank you.

Check this out.

His name is Slayton Star.

You ever seen anything this
beautiful in your life, Ezekiel?

No. No, no, no.

Except the Hope Diamond.

Or a hand-milled
multi-lock skeleton key.

But, as far as horses go, aces.

He's a funny guy.

Hey, man, remember when
I asked you if you wanted

to go in the horse training
business with me, set up an outfit?

- I do.
- Yeah.

Looks like you're
doing well, though.

Slayton Star's running
in the Grand Slam.

Yeah, it was good
for a while, man.

Ever since I got here, dude,
things have gone from bad to worse.

It's like I'm cursed
or something.

The cards again, huh?

Yeah. Yeah, man. I
played a hand or two.

I wasn't gonna do any
more than that, but...

Did you get caught up?

No, man, this was different.

It was unreal.

It was bad hand after bad
hand. It just kept coming.

And now...

No, no, no.

Step back. SLAYTON:
Come on, guys. Not now.

I thought our agreement
was delivery after the stakes.

Our deal was subject to
my whims, Mr. Slayton.

Oh, Bennie, he's just so pretty.

I like pretty things.

You lost fair and
square, my friend.

Don't do that, man.
Don't touch my friend.

- Don't, Jake.
- Don't touch my... Don't.

Jake.

It's okay, man.

It's like he said.

It was fair and square.

Get the horse to my barn.

Come on, now. All right.

No, baby. No.

No.

Hey, hey.

This is over a game of cards?

It's like I was trying
to tell you, man.

It started with the cards, but
then everything went wrong.

It's the most salacious
cold streak in my life.

Then the vet called,
water heater exploded,

got a letter from the IRS.

I'm just thinking,
"Lord, what's next?"

I mean, this can't all
be coincidence, right?

Damn bee.

It's some, you know...

Hey, hey, hey! Slayton! Slayton!

He's in anaphylactic shock.

Call 9-1-1! Slayton!
Slayton! Slayton! Slayton!

Come on.

Slayton!

Doc, how is he?

Normally a sting like
that would be harmless.

Mr. Slayton wasn't
even allergic to bees,

but trace chemicals in his shampoo
and the diet soda he drank today

mixed with this particular
strain of bee venom

to completely shut
down his system.

What? What are the odds on that?

We're doing everything we
can, but if the necrosis spreads,

we're talking permanent
organ damage or worse.

- Prep Trauma One.
- Yes, Doctor.

Another million-to-one
freak accident.

Wait, "Another
million-to-one freak accident"?

And what are the odds of two
million-to-one freak accidents?

It hurts. - Okay.

I'm betting that didn't happen
in ho-hum fashion, either.

- Or that.
- All available personnel

report to the ER stat.

We have another
case of lightning trauma.

Wait, look at that guy's shirt.

Fortune Downs Race
Track and Casino.

We just came from there.

Racing form. Fortune Downs.

- One freak accident is unfortunate.
- Two is unusual.

Three, four, five...

Magic.

Not exactly Churchill Downs.

Flynn said the place is
under new management.

Are you sure your friend's misfortune
is magical? You said he gambles.

If it was just that, then no.
But there's the crazy bee sting.

And all the weirdness
at the hospital.

It all leads back here.

Usually when there are compound
synchronic improbabilities,

it indicates a singular force,

often abnormal,
working willfully.

What?

A bunch of weird events
together? It's magic.

Here you go.

It's time for the call to post.

So this is a thing
that normal people

with absolutely nothing but
time on their hands do for fun?

Not all normal people.

In 1911 to 1937, horse racing was the
most watched spectator sport in America.

Really? I wasn't in America
back then. What was it like?

Well, I tell you, Jones, if I
hadn't joined the Library,

this is what I'd be doing.

Training horses. Hmm.

All the fresh air,
excitement in the crowd.

Nothing is better.

Oh. Fun. TV.

Your dreams can come
true at Fortune Downs Stakes,

the fourth leg of horse
racing's grand slam.

Look at this.

Most important piece of data

is the horse's lifetime in
the money percentage.

Unless you're going trifecta.

Don't miss your chance
to become a winner...

Like me.

Bowing down the stretch,
it's Gary's Golden Girl

neck-and-neck with
Brandon Baller on the rail,

and Four Days In
coming up on the outside.

It's going to be a close call.

And it's Gary's
Golden Girl by a leg.

Well, that was exciting

until it wasn't. I'm gonna
go check out the casino.

- Good idea.
- I'll go check the gaming machines.

What's wrong with this picture?

Crowd's not cheering.
Nobody in the money?

A race with no winners?

No more bets.

Red seven.

- The winner is red seven.
- Well, hello there.

- Think you can change our luck?
- Can I?

How do you play?

You pick a number or a
color and cross your fingers.

This time we're going
with my old football jersey.

Here, give it a try.

Okay.

Just...

Ooh. Don't get too wild now.

Well, admittedly,
it's not even odds,

but at 47.4%, it is your
best chance at winning.

If you just put it on one
number, your odds are 2.63%.

- It's not great.
- You're a smart one.

I'm not gonna bet against you.

Red five, the winner.

The odds.

Dealer, I'm gonna
need more of these.

Please.

You poor pigeons.

Well, as one thief to another,
I believe I found my game.

Full speed on the outside.
Jimmy Galavan giving...

Come on! Go!

And at the finish, it's
Crendemous Queen.

A photo finish for place,
Erin's Breakdown in fourth.

Nobody wins again.

That's definitely not right.

Okay, I'm willing to buy your
magical interference theory,

but who or what is doing it?

Could be a new
artifact, dormant ley line.

Or someone taking advantage
of one of those things.

I smell a rat. Is that
what you're saying?

Close enough.

Welcome to the winner's circle,

Fortune Downs Stakes.

Hey.

That's the guy that
stole Slayton's horse

right before he got stung.

So this guy owns the track
and the winning horse?

Everybody loses but him.

If it smells like a rat...

I win again!

Wow. Nice run, partner.

Bennie Konopka. That's me.

I own the joint.

I do love a cowboy,

especially one who's winning.

All right, Roy Rogers, let's
see if your luck still holds.

Pair of cowboys. That's
gonna be tough to beat.

Dealer.

Geez, 21. That's a tough break.

Well, keep playing. Maybe
you too can be a winner.

- Like me.
- Better luck next time, sugar.

Come on, sweetheart.

Right, did you see that? He
straight up cooled the guy.

It's like he's stealing luck.

He's stealing luck.

I'm telling you my friend, Slayton,
he invited me here weeks ago.

I bet you anything it was
before his luck got stolen.

But how did Mr. Winner's
Circle pull that off?

Like me.

My money's on the pinkie ring.

Well, then we better
go find our thief.

Absolutely...

Come on, come
on, come on, black.

- Red one.
- What the heck, man?

That's red or green
21 spins in a row!

21 spins and not a single
black number coming up?

I mean, the odds of
that are 2,097,152 to 1.

That violates every
law of probability.

I'm gonna try it again.

Unless you got a way of figuring
out where that little ball is going,

you're gonna have to get
lucky, just like everybody else.

You're right, but I am
not like everyone else.

This wheel, it's off
by 0.065 degrees.

Factor in the applied torque
and the starting position of the ball.

- Red 18 the winner.
- Yes! Yes! Yes!

- Yes! Yes! Yes!
- I did it!

Wow! Well, isn't that a
little slice of wonderful?

Bennie Konopka. That's me.

- I own the joint.
- Like me.

Well, why don't you
make yourself a bet?

- Be somebody, kid.
- Don't mind if I do.

Feel a hot streak coming on.

So sad when they rely on luck.

Red three the winner.

Yes! Yes! Yes! I did it!

What the hell is he doing?

What are you doing, Jones?

Me? I'm winning. That's what.

Really? 'Cause it kind
of looks like the opposite.

No. Listen,

if I line up all these
machines in a row,

- one of them has to...
- Jones!

We don't have time for this.

We know what the artifact
is, and we need you to steal it.

It's a pinkie ring that steals
your luck and turns you into a...

- Pathetic loser.
- No. Me? No.

I'm not the guy that
loses. I'm the guy that wins.

Listen to me, you
can't win. It's a machine.

Yes! Yes! It's a machine!

And I know how to
handle machines.

Do you have a hex wrench?

- Swiss army knife?
- That'll do.

Cover me.

All right, yes.
You're a machine.

- Hey.
- How you doing?

You cable, you think you
know me, you don't know me.

Okay, USB.

Got it!

Don't you ever feel like
you can beat Ezekiel Jones!

You feel better
about yourself now?

Actually, I do.

Great! Let's go get that ring.

Wait! Are we just gonna
leave the money there, guys?

What's going on, Bennie?

I don't know! We cooled
her, I know we did.

Oh, my God!

I know who you are,
and I know who you are.

"Don't miss your chance
to be a winner like me."

Very good. Listen, we're
in a big hurry, okay? So...

I hope you're not
in a hurry at all.

We are. Didn't I tell him we...

Well, look, just in case
you're not in a hurry,

I was just asking if it's possible...
I promise I never do this...

Can I please get your
autograph, please?

It's just you guys are like
the Jay-Z and Beyoncé

of the casino/racetrack world.

- Foreigners are awfully cute.
- Just make it quick, okay?

Will you please? To E,
Z... Okay. Never mind.

Thank you so much.
All right. Here you are.

- Thank you.
- Yeah, big thrill, okay.

Okay, listen, we'll...

- Oh, no! Okay, look...
- Yes!

I know I cooled her. I
know I did. It didn't take.

Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh.
My ring. My pinkie ring.

- Where is it? What are you...
- Where's my pinkie ring?

Whatcha doin'?

Just concentrating, sir.

- Team back yet?
- No, sir, not yet.

But shouldn't you be with them?
I think they're on to something.

No. I need to spend some
time here in the nerve center.

On the bridge.

After I... We tether
to the Library, this,

not out there, will be
my new domain forever.

Getting pretty excited about it.

Forgive me if I sound
a little dubious, sir,

but poppycock.

Poppycock?

Yes, your over-exuberance,
is a bit of a giveaway,

sounds a little more like fear.

- Of what?
- That if you leave, you'll never return.

Jenkins, your powers of
observation are usually so astute.

But I think they're
misplaced here.

I simply want to familiarize myself
with the levers of power of the Library.

Mmm-hmm. Oh!

Speaking of which, I need
to set a door for the Colonel.

- Oh, I can do that.
- Well, sir...

I need to familiarize myself with
the levers of power in the Library.

Yeah, I don't know.

You sure this is where
Jenkins said he'd set the door?

I'm sure. Hang on, I'll
call him. And no service.

Casinos are all dead zones. You
gotta keep the gamblers gambling.

I'll bet you wish you didn't
need a phone to communicate.

I told you this was
so much better,

and as you can
see, I've figured it out.

Where's Jenkins?
We need the door.

He's making some minor
repairs to that back door right now.

He'll have it up and
running in no time.

Well, maybe a little time.

- We need a hot artifact check.
- Oh. Yes.

Well, since someone
almost broke the globe

by projecting on its reflective base,
we will need to field test the item.

Hold it up to the glass, please.

Well, the cameo
stone looks like...

It's the Roman goddess
Fortuna, the goddess of Luck.

I think you're on to something.

Uh-huh. Now, so we'll
need some naphazoline,

hydrochloride, an
ethanol solution,

and a magnet.

Do you have eye drops,
an ATM card, and a beer?

Drop the stone in.

Green.

Is that good or bad?

No. Not till St. Patrick's
Day, but no magic, no.

None? Are you sure?

Yeah, well, no. It's
not an exact science.

Miss Cillian could perfect it.

By the way,
where's Miss Cillian?

Bennie, forget
about the ring. Look!

Yes! Come to Mama.

Do you realize how
much money we're losing?

I can't even watch.
Deal with it, Bennie.

All right, boys. We've
obviously got a crossroader here.

Get her down to
the counting room.

It's time for a workout.

And find my ring!

Where are they taking her?

You take somebody out of a
casino like that, someplace bad.

All right.

We always like to
give any kind of cheater

a chance to come clean.

We don't want to hurt you.

You know that, don't you?

So, what's your scam?

No scam. Math.

Math? There's no math in
roulette. It's just numbers.

You're a grifter, and I
want to know your play.

Actually, there's math
in everything, so...

What is that? Is it a chainsaw?

No. It's a baritone sax.

You ever hear one of these
things? It's really annoying.

But it covers the noise in case
we gotta break your fingers.

There's something
I need to tell you.

I'm a Librarian.

Why does anyone
even try that anymore?

All right, that's enough.

A Librarian, huh?

All right, what's it gonna be?

Truth?

Or dare me to do
something terrible?

Look, it's not like I'm some
fancy d-26 polygraph machine,

more like a really good analog
one, but I can count to 181,

which is your
current heart rate,

which leads me to believe
that you're having a panic attack,

so I'm guessing that
you're not really a tough guy.

- Yes, I am.
- Enough!

I've been waiting for
you for 2,700 years.

Who sent you? Jupiter?

I think you're confusing me
with someone who's really old.

This isn't Rome. They don't
revere witches here in America.

They burn them.

But, no, actually they
don't, not anymore.

- I mean, they used to years ago.
- Shut up, fool!

Yes, Fortuna.

Fortuna? The Roman
goddess of luck?

I will ask you again,
did Jupiter send you?

Or was it that
goody-goody Minerva?

Jupiter, Minerva, Fortuna.

No.

Actually, it was Saturn.

That bastard.

Not him, not you,

nobody is going to
trap me back in a statue.

I am done with being
put on a pedestal.

You don't know what
it's like standing up there.

Half-naked men pawing
at you, throwing coins.

- Or do you?
- No.

Ew.

Okay, so what do we know?

It's not the ring, it's her.

Apparently, she's
a Roman goddess.

She's almost 3,000 years old.

- She was stuck in a statue.
- Boom. Living artifact.

Okay, so she's stealing
people's luck. How?

Legend has it Fortuna used to
upset people's luck by kissing them.

What? So she has to go and kiss
everyone on the race track and casino?

Girl gets around.

The fourth leg of horse
racing's grand slam.

- Don't miss your chance...
- That girl does.

And I know just how
she's doing it. Watch.

- There's the kiss.
- That's a magic kiss.

It uses the electromagnetic
radiation of the screens.

People are getting infected
with bad luck just looking at her.

Guys, small point, but
aren't we looking at her?

We've got to save Cassandra
before they barbecue her.

Hey.

Wet floor. How unlucky.

Don't miss your chance
to become a winner...

Like me.

That's why they're immune.

How come it's not affecting you?

I guess I broke the spell
when I hacked the machine.

How the hell do
you hack a fight?

We're trying to hit
these guys, right?

Try not hitting
them. Just do it.

- Yo!
- A winner...

Like me.

Dang it.

Hit Cassandra!

- What?
- What?

Punch Cassandra in the face.

Do it! Hit her hard!

Hit her! Hit her!
Punch her in the face!

- We beat the spell.
- Wait, the spell's broken?

Guys? Um... Guys?

No, Fortuna's goals have
nothing to do with money.

She wants to be a god again.

I heard her say something about
being in the circle for the bandwidth.

She wants to be able to spread
her power outside the casino.

She used the electromagnetic
waves from the screens...

Bandwidth.

In the circle.

Duh!

The circle is the
winner's circle.

She's gonna throw
a kiss on live TV.

The race is being
broadcast across the country.

She's gonna steal
the luck of millions.

Think of the multiplier effect.

And with life itself just being a
series of genetic coincidences...

We're lucky to be alive.

And the absence
of luck is death.

We have to stop her.

Her kiss could
wipe out humanity.

Escaped?

Well, they said that
she had a lot of help.

The entire coven must
have time-traveled.

This has Saturn's
sickle-prints all over it.

He is working with
Jupiter to try to stop me.

Haters!

You take that fortune
you've been squirreling away

and hire more men, bad men.

Round up the entire coven,
and this time, burn them!

Okay, you might want
to consider a rethink.

Okay, we'll
consolidate our gains.

We could invest, okay?
That's power in the real world.

Do you see what
they're doing to me?

I will die before I go
back on a pedestal,

but I will make you wish
that you had died first.

If only we knew more.
What's her motivation?

Funny you should ask.

We have just come into a very
important piece of information.

As it turns out,
Jenkins was friends

with a 2nd century Etruscan
holy man who told him...

Flynn, you're making us nuts.

- Sorry.
- Colonel, down here.

Yes, now, according to Walo,
Jupiter set up a competition

between his four favorites:
Saturn, Mars, Minerva, and Fortuna

to see who would rule
over the affairs of mankind.

Fortuna won and she declared
thenceforth that the world

would be ruled by luck.

No more choice or judgment
or self-determination.

In other words, utter
chaos would ensue.

Jupiter realized his
mistake, reneged on the deal,

and demoted Fortuna.

Jupiter transformed her
into a disembodied spirit,

doomed for all time to exist in
the gambling halls of humankind.

As punishment for trying to
rule the world through luck,

she is forced to exist
in the world's casinos.

Wait, so Fortuna's big plan is
to deal death and destruction?

No, now her big plan is to try to rule
the world through the carnage of luck.

Which would include a lot of
death and destruction, so yeah.

So how did she become a statue?

A ley line runs right
underneath the race track.

Somehow she figured out a way
to upload herself into her own statue

and take physical form again.

What we don't know is how
the statue was reanimated.

Or how to re-statue-ize her.

So the only way to stop her
now is to keep her off camera?

Absolutely. The broadcast
is the key to her scheme.

Stop it and you stop her.

The race starts in 45 minutes.

We can do this.

I wish I could be there.
I would be if I could.

Yes, but, I better get back
to working on the door,

otherwise, you'll be walking
home from the Rockies.

Signing off.

So here's the plan. There's
12 cameras around the track.

We'll split up and
disable three each.

No cameras, no
broadcast, no kiss.

- What if they're being guarded?
- No, Fortuna doesn't have enough goons

to guard them all. There's
more of us than there are of...

Could have been a
little off on the math.

What's this?

It's not us.

Could have a
passing resemblance.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Calm down. Calm down.

You don't get paid if you
tear them limb from limb.

There's a very
specific way to do this.

Ooh! Did that truck just
back into a motorcycle?

Go! Go!

Where'd they go?

Get 'em!

In here. Come on,
this way. Hurry. Hurry.

Guys, you gotta help me.

Help you? Give
me one good reason

why I shouldn't tear
your ear off right now.

It does only take seven
pounds of pressure.

Oh, please.

I'm not who you
think I am, okay?

I'm just a bookkeeper
with a gambling problem.

Every day, I'd rub the statue
out front just praying for a payday.

One night, I rubbed the statue,
okay, and she comes to life.

And I won! And I won
and I won and I won.

I won so much, I wound
up owning the place.

All of those desperate people,
all of that magical thinking.

It must have infused
itself into the statue.

I made a deal
with a devil woman.

And as long as
she's flesh and blood,

I'm her servant. I
can't take it anymore.

Honest to God,
you can have it all.

We don't want your money.

We don't?

Oh, we don't.

I hired those goons, okay?

And if we don't hurry up,

they're probably already telling
her that I've double-crossed her.

Help us take out the cameras.

No, it's too late. They're
too heavily guarded.

She's hired an army of the
most horrible people in the world.

What am I gonna do?

All right, if we can't
take out the cameras,

how do we stop the kiss?

Think, Bennie.

Come on, think!

Well, I'm not gonna hit you.

No, but somebody has.

That's one heck of a backhand.

It was her.

Parts of her body are
turning into bronze.

It's quite a knuckle duster.

Wait, why is she
turning back to bronze?

When did that happen?

When you started winning.

That's it. When Cassandra
broke the bad luck curse,

she regained her good
luck back from Fortuna.

She needs the
luck to stay alive.

So we just need to help other
people beat their bad luck,

draining the life from her,
turning her back to all statue-y.

A mass curse buster.
So how do we do that?

Okay, if we can get enough people to
do exactly what you did at that table...

But you're the only you.

- Thank you.
- Right. Right. Um...

How is it that you beat luck?

I mean, besides having
otherworldly talent, of course.

Cheating.

We'll secretly rig the race track
and casino to cheat Lady Luck herself.

I like it.

Quisling! That heap of fimus!

Jupiter must have
made him a better deal.

Forget about the race. We
go before the cameras now.

Guys, the puckering is
happening ahead of schedule.

The kiss is coming. I repeat,
the kiss is coming now.

Five minutes to post.

All riders, five
minutes to post.

Guys, it's such an exciting day.

I want you to see this
before you mount up.

Come on, gather
around. Take a look.

Check this out, homie.

Sunglass company wants
to give you an endorsement.

Hmm? Better than
goggles. Check 'em out.

Don't miss your chance
to become a winner...

Like me.

Are you all right, ma'am?

Keep moving! Go secure the area.

Come on!

All right, I'm sorry.

Ladies and gentlemen, the machines
will be fixed in just a moment, okay?

Okay? Here we go right here.

Where have you been, man?
I've been stalling as long as I can.

All right, cool your
jets. I was in the casino.

Those rigged gaming
machines don't rig themselves.

You got your card?

All right, I'm in.

All right, roll right up
and place your bets.

Just like that,
everybody's a winner.

And the horses are
approaching the starting gate.

Over here!

Yes, over... I command you.

Right here. Make him
point the camera at me.

It's time for the call to post.

- Make him do it.
- Go on, get outta here! Move it! Move!

Lady, you got a lot of brass.

- You're too late.
- They're all tight.

And they're off!

Hey! What the...

The horses are just
wandering around the gate.

Wait, Metro Randy in the number
seven red silks is up and running!

Looks like your
luck's running out.

I don't need luck.

I am luck.

Turn the camera
to me, you idiot!

What the hell?

I bet the two horse,
my ticket says seven.

- So does mine.
- Mine says seven, too.

It's still only the
number seven horse

all by himself on
the back stretch.

- And she's winning.
- Every ticket is seven.

What are the odds of that?

Red, black, red, black, red.

Fourteen.

Put your money on red 14.

No more bets.

Finally the number four horse...

Turn it to me. Hurry up.

You idiot.

Lady Dionne is against the
rail giving everything she has.

Right now!

It's Lady Dionne and
lucky number seven.

Start filming! You
only have to turn it on!

- Lucky number seven still holding on!
- No.

It's Metro Randy, lucky
number seven still in the lead...

- Fortuna, kiss off.
- As they charge over the stretch run.

- No!
- It's going to be close.

And it's Metro Randy,
number seven by a nose.

I'm just saying I
feel sorry for her.

I mean, she turned out bad,
but she didn't start off that way.

Even the Pantheon
has a glass ceiling.

Yeah, but there's bad, and then
there's destroy-the-world bad.

At that point, it doesn't even
matter what your reasons are.

Oh, I don't know. A powerful woman,
obvious threat to the power structure.

Just imagine.

Yes, well, I don't think the statue
should be anywhere near the Toaster.

I will take it down to storage.

It is the responsible
thing to do.

- I don't count?
- You count! You count!

And then, literally, five
minutes after the race was over,

the doctor said I started
responding to the antibiotics.

- That's crazy, isn't it?
- Yeah, man.

And when I got home,

I found out Bennie Konopka
had signed her back over to me.

And how do you explain that?

But, you know, it made me think.

You only get one shot at life.

Jake, stop throwing
yours away, man.

You got so much potential,
man. You could be so much more.

Slayton, what happened
here at the race track,

what happened with
you, that wasn't just luck.

No. What was it then?

Payback.

Hmm. You know why? 'Cause
you're one of the good guys.

So are you, man.

I mean what I said, Jake.

You could be so much more.

Yeah.

I think I'm gonna keep
doing what I'm doing.

Hmm?

- Yeah.
- It's working for me.