The Legend of Vox Machina (2022–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - The Sunken Tomb - full transcript
Your offerings grow
ever smaller.
I trust the remaining treasure
has been wrung from Emon?
As you commanded, Thordak.
Every last ounce delivered
to your feet.
And Westruun is on the brink
of ruin, my king.
More are soon to follow.
And once all is in order,
the entire realm shall quake
in our shadow.
As for your kind,
it seems your useless baubles
are no longer needed.
Run! Run!
Whoa, whoa.
Are you okay?
No. The dragons, they're moving.
Expanding across Tal'Dorei.
Uh, you saw 'em in your head?
A vision granted
by the Everlight.
The red one.
The others called him Thordak.
He just...
wiped them out.
I...
I couldn't save them.
I know we come from all over,
but Emon was the first place
that accepted us.
It kind of felt like our home.
They even gave us a title.
And we'll live up to it,
when we find the tomb
and find that fucking vestige.
Well, I've got good news
and bad news on that front.
'Kay. Good stuff first.
I found the lake Osysa told us
about over the next ravine.
Fantastic. Let's go.
Wait. The bad news?
No tomb.
No temple, no ruins, no nothing.
It's not an illusion, either.
Did the Sphinx lie to us?
It must be across the lake.
Where do you think you're going?
We can still make it
by nightfall.
This is a Vestige of Divergence
we're talking about.
I doubt it'll be waiting for us
wrapped in gift paper.
We have to be careful
around here.
All of us.
Not to worry. Here.
I'll slide over
and check it out.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Yeah-heh-heh!
Whoo!
I love having a foot fetish
with... Whoa!
Guys, this is the best!
Uh, something just moved
under the ice.
Weird.
Scanlan?
What's going on out there?
Uh, I, uh, it's fine.
I'm sure this ice is...
super thick.
I'll just recharge
the old Scan-juice.
- Whoa!
- Hold on, Scanlan!
Shit.
Keyleth, can you, I don't know,
- be a bird or something?
- A bird? How does that help?
Anyone?!
Whoa!
Close fucking call.
Oh, which one of you guys
saved me?
That would be us.
Hello.
Kash? Zahra?
What are you...
Osysa thought
you might need our help.
Obviously, she was right.
How generous.
Oh, so generous.
Well, at least Antlers here
is happy to see me, right?
Well, yeah. I mean...
What the shit just grabbed me?
Adaro. Fish people.
They hunt at dusk.
Better wait till morning
to find the tomb.
You know about the tomb?
Oh, we're full of secrets.
Which we'd be happy to share...
as soon as you make us
a campfire.
The tomb was built
for the Matron of Ravens,
the Goddess of Death.
It enshrines the body
of her ancient champion.
The highest of her order,
striking fear into the hearts
of her enemies.
His name was Purvan.
- Perv on?
- Last name Pedobear, maybe?
I mean, you've got to get
your perv on.
Wow. You guys suck.
Laugh, but Purvan Suul gave up
everything for his god.
She won't let her treasures go
so easily.
Speaking of treasures,
where'd you pick up that beauty?
Oh, this old thing?
Well, I had to kill
a demon for it.
Don't be jealous.
Not at all.
In fact, we just picked up
quite a haul of magical items.
Didn't we, Scanlan?
Huh? You mean that shit
we took from Gilmore's?
Yes, obviously,
the shit we took from Gilmore's.
Ooh, a broom.
Marvelous.
Oh, you have such a keen eye
for value.
Shut it, Zahra.
Well, that's an interesting
and yet chunky belt.
What's it do?
Uh... hmm.
I got a beard!
That's all?
I... got... a...
- beard!
- Okay. That... It's awesome.
Heh.
Anyway,
the Slayer's Take assumed
the tomb was destroyed
centuries ago.
Turns out it's still there.
You must be fairly annoyed
that Osysa told us about it
before you.
Hadn't crossed my mind.
They followed us.
We obviously can't trust them.
Zahra and Kash? No.
And we can't take
any more chances tomorrow.
Sister...
do not go far from me.
You've been saying that
our whole life.
I'll be fine.
Get some sleep.
This is a bad idea.
Just hurry.
Father could be back any moment.
It's beautiful.
What are you doing?!
It-it was an accident.
- I only wanted...
- That heirloom
has been passed down
through generations
of Elven nobility.
- Sorry, Father. I-I just...
- Of course
you and your diluted brother
don't understand Elven culture.
You weren't born into it.
You are nothing but a mistake.
That's enough!
Don't you dare talk to her
like that!
Vex, get your things.
No. No, we don't need to...
Yes, we do.
Goodbye, Father.
Don't bother having us followed.
- Hello, smiley face.
- That's stupid.
We pulled this
from the Slayer's Take archives.
Now, see if you can follow me.
Lake.
Tomb.
Then your map's wrong.
Look, the tomb here
is upside down.
Osysa is older than time.
She doesn't make mistakes.
Perhaps the tomb...
isn't upside down.
Voilà!
It's underwater. Right.
So I suppose everyone
grab a bucket
and we'll have this emptied
by springtime.
Actually, we were thinking
Earth, Wind and Fire here
could assist.
Oh, me?
Oh... Um...
So, I-I'm not great
with water yet.
Don't worry.
Just use wind.
I'll hold it back.
- Ready?
- Mm.
This is... very cool.
Everyone down. Now!
Uh, beardie?
This one's a pull.
Oh. After you.
Ugh.
Smells like fish
and death.
Purvan.
Charming.
Why would Osysa tell them
about the tomb
when we're the ones doing
her work?
Those vestiges belong
with the Take,
not some tourists.
Shouldn't be too hard
to swipe it out from under them.
- But we're letting them
get ahead.
- Are we?
Or are we letting them bear
the brunt of what's to come?
Keep your eyes sharp.
There will be traps,
and they will be deadly.
The deadlier the traps,
the richer the reward.
Just keep close.
Hmm.
Oh. Don't wanna trip on this.
Found a trap.
Hmm.
Hi. Lucky I was here.
I-I am.
Was lucky, I mean.
I...
Um... Yep.
- Idiot.
- Whoa-oh...
Oh!
That might've been my fault.
No, no, no!
Vex! Vex! Can you hear me?
Oh, save your voice.
We'll find another way around.
Come on.
Vex, stay where you are!
I'm coming!
Well, no use waiting
around here.
Guess we're stuck with her.
Maybe we should just go back.
I'd sooner starve
in these woods.
If you gave Father a chance,
- you'd see...
- I'd see what I've seen
a thousand times before.
'Cause nothing we'll do
will ever be good enough for him
because of what we are.
You could at least try.
Look at us. We have nothing.
You have me.
- Remember?
- You never let me forget.
I can stand on my own.
I'm not helpless, you know.
Ah, Vex'ahlia,
of course you're not.
- It's just, you don't need...
- Stop telling me what I need!
I don't need rescuing.
And I don't need you.
Hold up.
Water's...
...a little high.
- Get up there, Pike.
- Yeah.
Damn, I make this look good!
- Oh, yeah.
- Whoo! Yeah, big boy.
- Yeah!
Get that pec bounce.
- Look out.
Whoa-ho, yeah.
Well, that's not ancient.
It seems something moved
into this tomb after it sank.
Ugh, Grog, did you just fart?
Like, how recently?
Pike?
More Adaro!
Yah!
Aah!
Good bear.
Aw, shitdicks,
they're everywhere!
Oh, good fuckin' bear!
Not the beard.
{\i1}Yes.
{\i1}More blood.
That was a close one, darling.
Wasn't that close.
{\i1}Yes.
Grog? Wha...?
Trinket!
And they've got a mage.
Last one's always the toughest.
But don't worry, I'll save you.
Bullshit! I'll save you.
Damn.
Vex'ahlia!
Shit!
Oop. Yeah, he fell off.
Come on! Stupid... water!
All yours, Trinket.
You're right, there's
nothing worse than bad fish.
Vex! Are you hurt?
Stop worrying about me.
I'm fine.
Grog! You okay, buddy?
Oh, I think I just had a roof
fall on me.
Yeah, but...
No. I mean...
when you were fighting
those things...
- you seemed...
- Yeah! Ha-ha!
Pike, we need to press on.
There could be more of them.
Wait. Where are Kash and Zahra?
We can't leave without them.
No fucking way.
They ditched us.
We didn't have to do that.
I beg to differ.
The vestige is supposedly
in Purvan's sarcophagus.
And, of course, there's...
six of them.
Which one is his?
See? You're not
the only one who can find shit.
You impressed?
'Cause you fuckin' should be.
Yes, yes, you're very clever.
Whoa.
Looks like some kinda fish orgy.
- Mm, I've tried that.
- It's pretty good.
Ignore them.
Let's find the vestige.
Wait. Let me give it
a look first.
Mm...
Grog!
- For fuck's sake!
- Huh?
What's that?
No.
Everyone just stay put.
Don't step on anything.
Don't pull anything.
Don't... do anything.
Pickle, I'll need your light.
Something's down there.
Hey.
Don't keep all the loot
for yourself.
No promises.
This place
has been picked clean.
The second Sphinx.
Did you find something, Trinket?
What have we here?
Percy!
- You found it!
- Well...
shall we take a look?
Maybe we shouldn't.
Hmm, your brother
certainly wouldn't approve.
Then perhaps just a peek.
Looks clean.
The Deathwalker's Ward.
Brilliant.
Vax?
Vax...
Stop.
We need to wait for my brother.
No... No!
Vax! Get your ass up here!
I was gone for 30 seconds.
What the hell happened?
Vex!
What's wrong? What happened?
You left me.
- I was lost.
- Brother, I'm sorry,
- I didn't think...
- No, you don't understand.
You don't need me. I...
need...
Do not go far from me.
I won't.
I swear it.
Chirp.
ever smaller.
I trust the remaining treasure
has been wrung from Emon?
As you commanded, Thordak.
Every last ounce delivered
to your feet.
And Westruun is on the brink
of ruin, my king.
More are soon to follow.
And once all is in order,
the entire realm shall quake
in our shadow.
As for your kind,
it seems your useless baubles
are no longer needed.
Run! Run!
Whoa, whoa.
Are you okay?
No. The dragons, they're moving.
Expanding across Tal'Dorei.
Uh, you saw 'em in your head?
A vision granted
by the Everlight.
The red one.
The others called him Thordak.
He just...
wiped them out.
I...
I couldn't save them.
I know we come from all over,
but Emon was the first place
that accepted us.
It kind of felt like our home.
They even gave us a title.
And we'll live up to it,
when we find the tomb
and find that fucking vestige.
Well, I've got good news
and bad news on that front.
'Kay. Good stuff first.
I found the lake Osysa told us
about over the next ravine.
Fantastic. Let's go.
Wait. The bad news?
No tomb.
No temple, no ruins, no nothing.
It's not an illusion, either.
Did the Sphinx lie to us?
It must be across the lake.
Where do you think you're going?
We can still make it
by nightfall.
This is a Vestige of Divergence
we're talking about.
I doubt it'll be waiting for us
wrapped in gift paper.
We have to be careful
around here.
All of us.
Not to worry. Here.
I'll slide over
and check it out.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Yeah-heh-heh!
Whoo!
I love having a foot fetish
with... Whoa!
Guys, this is the best!
Uh, something just moved
under the ice.
Weird.
Scanlan?
What's going on out there?
Uh, I, uh, it's fine.
I'm sure this ice is...
super thick.
I'll just recharge
the old Scan-juice.
- Whoa!
- Hold on, Scanlan!
Shit.
Keyleth, can you, I don't know,
- be a bird or something?
- A bird? How does that help?
Anyone?!
Whoa!
Close fucking call.
Oh, which one of you guys
saved me?
That would be us.
Hello.
Kash? Zahra?
What are you...
Osysa thought
you might need our help.
Obviously, she was right.
How generous.
Oh, so generous.
Well, at least Antlers here
is happy to see me, right?
Well, yeah. I mean...
What the shit just grabbed me?
Adaro. Fish people.
They hunt at dusk.
Better wait till morning
to find the tomb.
You know about the tomb?
Oh, we're full of secrets.
Which we'd be happy to share...
as soon as you make us
a campfire.
The tomb was built
for the Matron of Ravens,
the Goddess of Death.
It enshrines the body
of her ancient champion.
The highest of her order,
striking fear into the hearts
of her enemies.
His name was Purvan.
- Perv on?
- Last name Pedobear, maybe?
I mean, you've got to get
your perv on.
Wow. You guys suck.
Laugh, but Purvan Suul gave up
everything for his god.
She won't let her treasures go
so easily.
Speaking of treasures,
where'd you pick up that beauty?
Oh, this old thing?
Well, I had to kill
a demon for it.
Don't be jealous.
Not at all.
In fact, we just picked up
quite a haul of magical items.
Didn't we, Scanlan?
Huh? You mean that shit
we took from Gilmore's?
Yes, obviously,
the shit we took from Gilmore's.
Ooh, a broom.
Marvelous.
Oh, you have such a keen eye
for value.
Shut it, Zahra.
Well, that's an interesting
and yet chunky belt.
What's it do?
Uh... hmm.
I got a beard!
That's all?
I... got... a...
- beard!
- Okay. That... It's awesome.
Heh.
Anyway,
the Slayer's Take assumed
the tomb was destroyed
centuries ago.
Turns out it's still there.
You must be fairly annoyed
that Osysa told us about it
before you.
Hadn't crossed my mind.
They followed us.
We obviously can't trust them.
Zahra and Kash? No.
And we can't take
any more chances tomorrow.
Sister...
do not go far from me.
You've been saying that
our whole life.
I'll be fine.
Get some sleep.
This is a bad idea.
Just hurry.
Father could be back any moment.
It's beautiful.
What are you doing?!
It-it was an accident.
- I only wanted...
- That heirloom
has been passed down
through generations
of Elven nobility.
- Sorry, Father. I-I just...
- Of course
you and your diluted brother
don't understand Elven culture.
You weren't born into it.
You are nothing but a mistake.
That's enough!
Don't you dare talk to her
like that!
Vex, get your things.
No. No, we don't need to...
Yes, we do.
Goodbye, Father.
Don't bother having us followed.
- Hello, smiley face.
- That's stupid.
We pulled this
from the Slayer's Take archives.
Now, see if you can follow me.
Lake.
Tomb.
Then your map's wrong.
Look, the tomb here
is upside down.
Osysa is older than time.
She doesn't make mistakes.
Perhaps the tomb...
isn't upside down.
Voilà!
It's underwater. Right.
So I suppose everyone
grab a bucket
and we'll have this emptied
by springtime.
Actually, we were thinking
Earth, Wind and Fire here
could assist.
Oh, me?
Oh... Um...
So, I-I'm not great
with water yet.
Don't worry.
Just use wind.
I'll hold it back.
- Ready?
- Mm.
This is... very cool.
Everyone down. Now!
Uh, beardie?
This one's a pull.
Oh. After you.
Ugh.
Smells like fish
and death.
Purvan.
Charming.
Why would Osysa tell them
about the tomb
when we're the ones doing
her work?
Those vestiges belong
with the Take,
not some tourists.
Shouldn't be too hard
to swipe it out from under them.
- But we're letting them
get ahead.
- Are we?
Or are we letting them bear
the brunt of what's to come?
Keep your eyes sharp.
There will be traps,
and they will be deadly.
The deadlier the traps,
the richer the reward.
Just keep close.
Hmm.
Oh. Don't wanna trip on this.
Found a trap.
Hmm.
Hi. Lucky I was here.
I-I am.
Was lucky, I mean.
I...
Um... Yep.
- Idiot.
- Whoa-oh...
Oh!
That might've been my fault.
No, no, no!
Vex! Vex! Can you hear me?
Oh, save your voice.
We'll find another way around.
Come on.
Vex, stay where you are!
I'm coming!
Well, no use waiting
around here.
Guess we're stuck with her.
Maybe we should just go back.
I'd sooner starve
in these woods.
If you gave Father a chance,
- you'd see...
- I'd see what I've seen
a thousand times before.
'Cause nothing we'll do
will ever be good enough for him
because of what we are.
You could at least try.
Look at us. We have nothing.
You have me.
- Remember?
- You never let me forget.
I can stand on my own.
I'm not helpless, you know.
Ah, Vex'ahlia,
of course you're not.
- It's just, you don't need...
- Stop telling me what I need!
I don't need rescuing.
And I don't need you.
Hold up.
Water's...
...a little high.
- Get up there, Pike.
- Yeah.
Damn, I make this look good!
- Oh, yeah.
- Whoo! Yeah, big boy.
- Yeah!
Get that pec bounce.
- Look out.
Whoa-ho, yeah.
Well, that's not ancient.
It seems something moved
into this tomb after it sank.
Ugh, Grog, did you just fart?
Like, how recently?
Pike?
More Adaro!
Yah!
Aah!
Good bear.
Aw, shitdicks,
they're everywhere!
Oh, good fuckin' bear!
Not the beard.
{\i1}Yes.
{\i1}More blood.
That was a close one, darling.
Wasn't that close.
{\i1}Yes.
Grog? Wha...?
Trinket!
And they've got a mage.
Last one's always the toughest.
But don't worry, I'll save you.
Bullshit! I'll save you.
Damn.
Vex'ahlia!
Shit!
Oop. Yeah, he fell off.
Come on! Stupid... water!
All yours, Trinket.
You're right, there's
nothing worse than bad fish.
Vex! Are you hurt?
Stop worrying about me.
I'm fine.
Grog! You okay, buddy?
Oh, I think I just had a roof
fall on me.
Yeah, but...
No. I mean...
when you were fighting
those things...
- you seemed...
- Yeah! Ha-ha!
Pike, we need to press on.
There could be more of them.
Wait. Where are Kash and Zahra?
We can't leave without them.
No fucking way.
They ditched us.
We didn't have to do that.
I beg to differ.
The vestige is supposedly
in Purvan's sarcophagus.
And, of course, there's...
six of them.
Which one is his?
See? You're not
the only one who can find shit.
You impressed?
'Cause you fuckin' should be.
Yes, yes, you're very clever.
Whoa.
Looks like some kinda fish orgy.
- Mm, I've tried that.
- It's pretty good.
Ignore them.
Let's find the vestige.
Wait. Let me give it
a look first.
Mm...
Grog!
- For fuck's sake!
- Huh?
What's that?
No.
Everyone just stay put.
Don't step on anything.
Don't pull anything.
Don't... do anything.
Pickle, I'll need your light.
Something's down there.
Hey.
Don't keep all the loot
for yourself.
No promises.
This place
has been picked clean.
The second Sphinx.
Did you find something, Trinket?
What have we here?
Percy!
- You found it!
- Well...
shall we take a look?
Maybe we shouldn't.
Hmm, your brother
certainly wouldn't approve.
Then perhaps just a peek.
Looks clean.
The Deathwalker's Ward.
Brilliant.
Vax?
Vax...
Stop.
We need to wait for my brother.
No... No!
Vax! Get your ass up here!
I was gone for 30 seconds.
What the hell happened?
Vex!
What's wrong? What happened?
You left me.
- I was lost.
- Brother, I'm sorry,
- I didn't think...
- No, you don't understand.
You don't need me. I...
need...
Do not go far from me.
I won't.
I swear it.
Chirp.