The Leftovers (2014–2017): Season 1, Episode 9 - The Garveys at Their Best - full transcript

♪ ("THE GIRL FROM KING MARIE" BY JODY
REYNOLDS PLAYS THROUGH HEADPHONES) ♪

(HONKING)

WOMAN: I need to cancel.

Just for tomorrow.

Yeah, sure.

You know, that's fine, so....

Okay, okay.
Okay, goodbye.

- (PHONE BEEPS)
- Hello?

Oh, hi.

No, I have appointments all day.

Oh, yeah, we can set up ourselves.



How many chairs?

Oh, great. Great.

Okay. Okay,
I'll see you after 4:00, then.

Thanks. Bye.

- So, how was your run?
- It's fucking hot for October.

- Want some French toast?
- Yeah.

LAURIE: Hey, Jill?
Come on, honey. Chop, chop.

They pushed my afternoon sessions
so I can meet the rental guys.

- All you have to do is get the cake.
- Yeah, okay.

- Do you think he knows?
- No way.

Jill, I'm waiting.
Hey, when does Tommy get back?

He said he had a morning class
and he'd come after that.

- All right.
- So I'll see you at noon.

- You have the breeder's address?
- The what?



The breeder?
For the puppy?

- It has to be today?
- Yeah, we have to go today,

otherwise we go on the wait list
and lose our deposit.

All right, okay.
Noon. I'll be there.

♪ (SINGING "WITHOUT YOU"
BY DAVID GUETTA) ♪

Have a good day.

♪ (CONTINUES SINGING) ♪

- I love you.
- Love you, too.

Don't. Please.

Mommy attack.

- Yeah!
- Yeah, way too early.

- God.
- Way too early, guys.

Way too early.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Hi.

- Hi, hi.
- I love you.

- (LAUGHTER, CHATTER)
- ♪ (ACOUSTIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

(STEADY BEEP)

GIRL: My bunny is really soft and...

...its ears are, like, this big
and it's pretty big.

He only eats cheese crackers
even if he's--

Get your hand out of the box, miss.

- And he also eats carrots.
- No.

Jeremy.

- Don't feed the dog.
- (DOG WHINING)

- Hey, Dad.
- Yo.

- You look nice.
- Today's my interview.

Today's your interview.

You said you could take the kids
to school.

Of course, I'm taking the kids
to school, right, kids?

What's an interview?

- Mommy's getting a job.
- Trying to get a job.

Do you want it?

- Yeah, I do.
- Then you're gonna get it.

Come on.

- Mommy's getting a job.
- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

- Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- Hey. Mommy.

ALL: (CHANTING)
Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

♪ (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

(PHONE VIBRATING)

- Hello?
- WOMAN: Laurie, hi.

Dr. Singley.
How are you?

Oh, hi. Fine.

I was told
you canceled your appointment?

Yeah, yeah, my daughter
has a science fair and I wanted to--

I really think it's important
for you to come in tomorrow.

We're reaching the point
of no return.

I know. I just....

I need to talk to my husband.

Well, you should do that.

- And then you'll be in tomorrow?
- Yes.

Good. See you then.

Good morning.

Patti, you ready to come in?

(LAUGHING)

- It's a cat?
- Yeah.

But it has a pop tart for its body,
and it's just shooting through space,

and it has rainbows coming out
of its butt,

and it's just really happy about it.

I don't get it.

No, Dad, you don't.

KEVIN: And come home
straight after school.

Your mom and I need help
setting up for the party.

He knows, you know.
It's not gonna be a surprise.

Yeah, I know, I know.
Just please don't tell your mom.

- You smell like cigarettes.
- What?

- Bye.
- (SCHOOL BELL RINGS)

(DISTANT TRAIN WHISTLE)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

What happened?

I don't know.
They just all came running out.

It's a monster!

WOMAN: Is it gone?

- What was it?
- It was a deer.

I think something terrible's
about to happen.

Tell me what that feels like.

- What it feels like?
- Yeah.

I mean...

...why is this time different?

Because you've said this before
and we're still here.

Those times...

...they were like tremors.

This...

...this is the big one.

Like the world is gonna end.

Then tell me how it feels.

Like a hand is inside my chest.

And it's squeezing my heart
tighter and tighter.

And he won't let me go
until it's over.

- "He"?
- What?

"He" won't let go?

- It's not about that.
- It isn't?

- No, no.
- It's not about Neil

telling you to leave your own house?

He paid for it.

It's his house.

That's not how it works, Patti.

But he told you to go, so you went.

And all those abusive things
he said to you?

That's what makes you feel like
the world is ending.

Because instead
of ignoring those things,

you believe them.

You absorb them.

Well, I guess I better
shit 'em back out.

Maybe you should.

Maybe you should put them
in a bag,

and write Neil's name on it,

and just drop it right back off
on his doorstep.

Come on.

Well, if it'll stop the world
from ending, why the hell not?

Nothing's gonna stop that.

I know why you're telling jokes

because you can feel it, too,
can't you?

I know you can.

Something's wrong...

...inside you.

Sorry, Patti, that's just not true.

There's nothing wrong with me.

Well, you're on the council
but nobody knows who you are.

Buddy Menlo is the incumbent.

He's popular,
he has built-in name recognition

and we're a month out
from the election.

So if I'm being honest,
barring a miracle,

I don't think you stand a chance.

Uh-huh.

And why should I hire you
if you can't help me win?

Because I think you have
some progressive ideas for the town--

Oh, fuck my progressive ideas.

Why do you want to do this,
"Nora Durst"?

Because...

...I want to use my brain
for more than figuring out

which juice box
is certified organic.

I want....

I need something for myself.

I know I'm not running
for mayor of New York City...

...but for the next four weeks,
I need this to be your priority.

And what does that mean
for the, um... juice boxes?

As far as you're concerned,
for the next four weeks,

I don't have a family.

Councilwoman.

I'm in the middle of an interview.

You coming to my thing tonight?

You're not supposed to know
you're having a thing tonight.

And yet I do know.
You coming or not?

I'm in the middle of an interview.

Hey.

- You tell her she could beat Buddy?
- Nope.

Hire her.

Now get the fuck out of here,
Man of the Year.

We're just friends, so....

Moorland, you've got first
and Broadway.

And don't any of you think
you dodged a bullet

because you'll all be getting
traffic control

until Con Ed's done
with the gas lines,

which should be in about a week.

Now, in other good news,
or bad news,

this heat wave's gonna continue.

So water restriction
is still in place

which means you issue a ticket

to anybody who's sprinkling
their lawns between 6:00 and 10:00.

And it looks like
we've got ourselves a deer problem.

Reports of the fuckers
getting stuck inside buildings.

One wandered
into the Biggie superstore,

another jammed through
Rosalie Darmody's baby shower--

Think it's just one.

- Sorry?
- Deer. I think it's just one.

- Why do you think that?
- I saw it this morning.

At the school?

No, I just missed it at the school.
Before that.

Just a theory, Chief,
maybe this thing's in heat

and just wants to fuck
the lieutenant.

- (LAUGHTER)
- Fuck you, Lou.

It doesn't matter to me
if it's deer singular

or deer fucking plural.

You are authorized to put it down.

Well, we don't need to kill it.

If it's dangerous and unstable,
yes, we do.

We get tranq guns
from animal control.

If we see it, we knock it out,

bring it back to the woods,
let it go.

- Let it go?
- Yes.

Okay, I'll make you a deal.

You get a tranq gun,

I'll have dispatch inform you
of any sightings,

and you get there before anyone
with an actual weapon....

...hallelujah.
Set Bambi free.

Good?

Yes, good.

Fantastic.

Now, I hope to not see any of you
any time soon, especially tonight,

as I hate fucking parties.
Dismissed.

(PHONE VIBRATING)

- Hello?
- TOM: Dad.

Tommy, you okay?

I think I fucked up.

Where are you?

MAN: He's mostly sobered up.
Guy's not pressing charges.

He will if there's a next time.

- I appreciate it.
- No problem.

Come on.

(SIGHS)

- Sorry.
- Glad you called me.

- Thank you.
- Anytime.

- Hey. Come on. It's okay.
- (WINCES)

What did he do?

This the house?

Please don't. It was my fault.

- Dad--
- It's okay.

Gonna talk to him.

(KNOCKING)

Would you get your dad
for me, please?

Yeah?

- Shit.
- You know who I am?

Look, man, he keeps coming here.

- What happened?
- He was drunk.

This is the third time.
I already told him--

What happened?

He doesn't understand
that this is not something

- that I'm interested in.
- Did you touch him?

- He tried to come into my house.
- Did you touch him?

All I did was push him back--

If you touch my kid again,
I will fucking kill you.

It's okay.

Why'd you have to tell me?

Your mother thought it would be
the same as lying if we didn't.

I'm your father, not him.

I know.

Why do you need to keep doing this?

Because he shouldn't get to pretend
like it never happened.

He did a terrible thing to you
and your mother.

Sometimes you have to pretend.

Well, well, looks like
someone chose you.

Is that the mother?

- Her third litter.
- Aw...

They seem so young
to be away from her.

It's actually completely natural.
They don't need her anymore.

(PHONE CHIMING)

I'm sorry.
It's my husband.

He's not coming.

WOMAN: Just bring him home.

I promise,
the minute your husband sees him,

he'll fall in love.

Sorry.

They're wonderful, aren't they?

LAURIE: Hey, Jill, honey,
you got to clear off the table.

The food's gonna be here
and I need to set up.

Almost done.

- Want me to help you?
- No, thanks.

So, I know you have
your presentation tomorrow,

and I really wanna be there,

but I have an appointment
and I tried to--

That's okay.
You weren't there last year.

I'm a terrible mother.

- There's no need to be dramatic.
- I'm not being dramatic.

Come here. You're the best mom
in the whole world.

The best mom ever.

KEVIN: Hello?

- Tell Mom she's the best.
- Well, she is the best.

- Where's the cake?
- Right behind me.

(LAURIE SCREAMS, CHUCKLES)

You're home. You're home.

Hey, what are you two
doing together?

The car broke down
so I went and picked him up.

Yeah.

Looking good, Billy Ray!

Feeling good, Louis.

Okay, team.
Time to party.

Up.

MAN: Silver fox approaching the door.
Repeat, silver fox approaching.

Copy that.

He's here.

All right. Everyone,
get down, get down. He's here.

- And quiet, stay quiet.
- He knows.

Oh, fuck off, Lou.

Kevin's out back,
making some drinks.

You can just head
through the kitchen.

- ALL: Surprise!
- Oh! Oh!

Motherfuckers!

Hey.

Hey, Tommy.
Come here, college boy.

- Man hug!
- Man hug!

Man hug!

♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

Hey, Mary, how you doing?
Thank you so much for coming.

- He was so surprised.
- I think he was.

Hey, Jill.

You need to take that over
to the bar, honey.

- Who picked this music?
- Old people.

Take it to the bar.

(MAN CHUCKLING)

LUCY: Beautiful house.

Kevin, your wife must do very well
for herself.

- Well, fuck you very much.
- (LAUGHING)

You better not talk to me like that
when I'm mayor.

- I'm sure. I won't.
- Okay.

Wait, wait.
He didn't tell you about the deer?

What deer?

The one that your husband wants
to rescue

and free back into the wilderness.

Apparently, they've got
a very special relationship.

It's confused.

It just keeps trapping itself
inside of buildings. It's....

Aw, poor thing.

Thank you, God,
for Mommy and Daddy--

(BOY SCREAMS)

- ...Kylie and Bubba.
- Jeremy, stop.

- Prayers are stupid.
- NORA: Don't say that.

Go pick out a book.

I'll come read to you
in ten minutes, okay?

Come on. Up.

- Maybe it lost its family.
- Who did?

The deer.

Maybe it's looking for them
at our school.

Maybe, but he's not gonna come back
ever again, okay?

I promise.
You're safe.

- Good night, my love.
- Night, Mommy.

- You can turn it all the way.
- Are you sure?

I'm not scared anymore.

- Long day.
- You said 6:00.

One of the accounts fell apart.

I can come home early tomorrow.

- Did I miss the window?
- No, go on in. She's still up.

- Fantastic.
- It went great.

My interview.

Awesome.

♪ (UPTEMPO R&B PLAYS) ♪

So, the Honorable Judge Hader
sidles up to me

before the ceremony.

He's there every year,
like he invented the fucking thing.

And he says, "Congratulations
on this great honor."

So, I looked that cocksucker
right in the eyes and said,

"Can't be that great.
They gave one to you."

(LAUGHTER)

(CLANGING)

Everybody? Everybody.

If I may, on behalf
of the Civic Clergy Association,

I feel obligated to share with you

why I nominated our guest of honor
for Mapleton Man of the Year.

The answer?

I couldn't nominate myself.

(LAUGHTER)

But seriously, this man,
well, he's humble, he's gracious,

he doesn't like me saying
how generous he is

or what he's done for the church,

what he's done for me
or the people of this town.

- But, hell, I just did.
- (LAUGHTER)

- Hail to the chief.
- ALL: Hail to the chief.

- (APPLAUSE)
- WOMAN: Hear, hear.

This is a part of something

that Chief used to read to me
when I was a kid.

(CLEARS THROAT)

"A man said to the universe,
'Sir, I exist.'

'However, ' the universe replied,

'the fact has not created in me
a sense of obligation."'

A lot of people think that
the world owes them something.

But you, Dad, you built your life...

...and mine... on your own.

Now look at me, you know,
and look what I got.

To family.

ALL: To family!

(APPLAUSE)

♪ (ALL SINGING "FOR HE'S
A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW") ♪

- (SINGING FADES)
- ♪ (MUSIC DROWNS OUT AUDIO) ♪

FATHER: You're just
asking to get caught.

Oh shit.
(CHUCKLES)

- Thought you quit.
- Taking a break from quitting.

That was a beautiful speech.

I almost believed you meant it.

I think something's fucking wrong
with me.

I think you're right.

Why isn't it enough?

(SIGHS)

Because every man rebels
against the idea

that this is fucking it.

Fights windmills,
saves fucking damsels,

all in search of greater purpose.

You have no greater purpose.

Because it is enough.

So, cut the shit, okay?

You know, I was thinking
maybe we should hold off

on getting a dog.

- Really?
- Yeah, it's just a lot.

I started crying
at the breeder's today.

I just got overwhelmed.
I don't think the timing is right.

No, let's do it.

Tomorrow.

Come on.
We'll surprise the kids.

Come on.

And I'll help,
so you don't get overwhelmed.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Did you sleep okay?

Great.

I'm gonna run.

- What time is it?
- It's early.

You don't have to get up.

(SIGHS)
It's okay. I'm up.

Hey.
You got a new one.

- I like it.
- You should get one, too.

Maybe "Thug Life" on my neck.
Something really subtle.

Perfect.
(LAUGHING)

God.

- I'm sorry.
- About what?

Dad didn't tell you?

No.

Oh boy.
I went to see Michael.

Oh.

You're not gonna ask why?

I understand why.

It's okay.
I could just forget about him.

Don't do that.

- Why not?
- Because...

...I can tell you
as a trained professional...

...it doesn't work.

♪ ("THE GIRL FROM KING MARIE" BY JODY
REYNOLDS PLAYS THROUGH HEADPHONES) ♪

- Are you ready?
- Excuse me?

- I think he's someone else.
- Okay.

I'm sorry.
I thought you were someone else.

(METAL TAPPING)

(RATTLING)

(EXPLOSION)

- Laurie.
- LAURIE: Yeah?

You are never gonna believe
what just happened to me.

You know, the gas lines
Con Edison's putting in?

A manhole cover just exploded
right in front of me.

Missed me by, I don't know, ten feet.

Did you just smoke?

- What?
- You smell like cigarettes.

I mean, I don't really care.
You're the one that wanted to quit.

Just be honest, this time.

- "This time"?
- Tommy told me about Michael.

So what? You're angry
because I didn't say something?

Why didn't you?

Because it's not my fucking place.

What is your place, Kevin?

Is it here?
Be honest.

You don't want me to be honest.

Yes, I do.

Okay, um...

I smoked...

...and I don't want a dog.

Why didn't you just tell me?

Because you wanted it.

(PHONE VIBRATING)

Hello?

Just now?

Is it still there?

Text me the address.
I'm on my way over.

It's the deer.

It's trapped.

Better go save it.

Fuck you, Laurie.

(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

Is it still in the house?

Yeah, walked right through the
screen door into the living room.

Ma'am, sir, I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave the house.

That's not gonna happen.

It's upstairs?

(CLATTERING)

(HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALS)

(LOW GROWLS)

(CLATTERING, GROWLS,
SQUEALS CONTINUE)

(GLASS SHATTERS)

(LOUD GROWL)

It went outside.

- (TIRES SCREECHING)
- (CRASHING)

- My God.
- You okay?

(GROANING)
He came out of nowhere.

(LABORED BREATHING)

♪ (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
OVER RADIO) ♪

(BABY CRYING)

I have been holding for 20 minutes.

No, no, no. No, don't.
I-- No.

Oh, God.

(CRYING CONTINUES)

Laurie?

- Hi. Mary Jamison.
- Of course. Hi.

- Such a beautiful party last night.
- Thank you, thank you.

It was great to have you
and Matt there.

He's in there right now.

Is everything okay?

They think they saw something.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Last night, he was so....

I had no idea.

Yeah, well, Matt knows
how to put on a brave face.

He was sick as a kid.

We go through this
every couple of years.

I mean, he does.

He never lets me go in with him.

He's scared.

He doesn't want you to see him
like that.

But I do see it.

I'd rather us be afraid together.

(CHUCKLES)

- Let's get drunk.
- You get drunk. I'll drive.

(METAL CLANGING)

(TRUCK BEEPING)

Yeah, I know.
Going to hell.

Think I can get one of those?

Yeah.

Here.

Hey, hey. Here, I got it.

I mean, it came out of nowhere.

- It didn't belong here.
- Well, neither do I.

I'm here for a conference and I was
trying to get back to my hotel.

Missed my turn.

- Lady, you need a lift?
- Can I just get a minute?

Sorry, but I got to go but
if you need a ride or something--

I'll take her.

- MAN: Yeah?
- Yeah.

- WOMAN: You sure?
- Yeah.

(SCREAMING)

- Give it to me!
- No!

- It's mine!
- Kids.

- You don't need it anymore!
- Give her the blanket.

Two hands with the big-girl cup,
please. That's the deal.

- BOY: I'm hungry, Mom, I'm hungry.
- I'm hungry, too.

Stop, please.
No phones at the table.

- Well, yours is out, too.
- I'm waiting to hear about the job.

- Well, this is important, too.
- BOY: (CHANTING) I want food!

I want food!
I want food!

- MAN: It's coming, buddy.
- I want food.

- Jeremy.
- I want food!

- Hey, cut it out.
- I want food!

WOMAN: (OVER P.A) We'd like to
welcome all parents and students

to our annual science fair.

Please see the door
for a list of all projects

and their locations.

I'm not gonna lie
but I think the kid over there

cracked cold fusion.

(LAUGHING)

- That looks terrible.
- It's awesome.

God.

So, Mom and Dad,
what's going on there?

- What do you mean?
- You know what I mean.

I think he's gonna leave.

Hey, kids.
Who wants to help make a circuit?

We're gonna make a circuit.

We would absolutely love
to make a circuit, wouldn't we?

- No.
- (SCREAMING, LAUGHING)

- Thanks.
- Sure. No problem.

I don't know why I just....

I feel sad.

I mean, it was a fucking animal.

Are you a good guy?

What?

Are you a good guy?

No.

You wanna come in?

- Any nausea?
- Comes and goes.

If we move forward,

I'd like you to meet with a counselor
to discuss your options.

I'd like to take a look.
Is that all right with you?

- I haven't told my husband yet.
- Is it his?

Yes.
Of course.

Okay, just relax.

There it is.

Looks good.

Perfectly healthy.

Do you wanna hear the heartbeat?

(FETAL HEARTBEAT)

(PHONE VIBRATING)

Goddamn it!
I said, "two hands"!

- Hello? Hello?
- (CRYING)

(WOMAN SCREAMS)

What was that?

(NO AUDIO)

(English US - SDH)