The Last Post (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript

Anything happens, you're on your own.

We only have responsibility
for each other.

Thank you. Makes my job of reporting
on who you kill, and how,

and why, so much easier.

You can't do that! It's my job.

The target's code name is Starfish.
Abdul Kadir Hakim.

He's brutal, he's clever.

Who's that? Harvey Tilbrook.

What does he do?
He's a big, fat spy.

The Third Man!

Of course, it means he's had
other girls, your handsome husband.



You need to be... surprising.

And unpredictable.

I'm sorry about Nick Page.

I'm pregnant.

It's not Ed's.

I'm going to tell him.

Aden - where east meets west.

Vital as an oil refinery,
as well as a Gulf trade route.

The beach here at Aden is lovely.

The sun is warm and the sharks
are not always hungry.

The occasional outbreaks of
violence are caused by

what are officially called
dissident tribesmen.

As long as there's trouble,
there must be troops.

The Queen has full confidence
in Aden's future,



describing it as the perfect
example of colonial rule.

Let's go!

Here! In here!

Just here, ma'am?

Thank you so much!

Just doing my job, ma'am.

Yes. Thank you.

Sure.

Um... I was... I was just...
I was just delivering something.

What... what I mean is I didn't know
you... I didn't know you'd be here.

I'm glad you are, though.

Er...

For the deer.

Deer?

Christmas deer.

Yes! Yeah, the reindeer!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

The reindeer have names, you know.

Yeah. Um... Rudolf,

er... Dancer, Dasher, Comet, Cupid.

Comet. Koopid.

No. CyuCyupid.

Cupid. Cupid, that's it.

Cupid.

I have to go.

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Sorry.

What time will he get to Aden?

Er... well, he sets off from
Greenland at around three o'clock,

so... Daddy says he lives at
the North Pole. Didn't you, Daddy?

He's right.
What am I thinking? Greenland!

You wouldn't lie to me, would you?

Father Christmas will be here to
put your presents in your stocking,

provided you're asleep
when he gets here.

And tomorrow, he'll be at
the BP Club, I promise you.

Bath time, George. Off you go.

Well, I believe you.
Father Christmas definitely exists.

We've got him, Joe.

Sorry, sir?

Starfish. Kadir Hakim.

The Paras picked him up last night.
We've got the bastard.

That's, er...

It'll certainly help the men
deal with... what happened.

I can't put it out of my mind.

His head.

Who would do such a thing?

What kind of...?
Listen, about that reporter.

The world cannot see
the photographs she took.

This comes from the top, Joe.

She shouldn't have been there, she
shouldn't have seen what she saw.

And those pictures are...

Just see to it, would you?
There's a good chap.

I have to go out.

I might be some time.

Can I ask what it is?

Checking on one of the men.

What's the matter with him? You
should learn not to ask, darling.

He's a long way from home.

I could come with you and talk to him.

I could come as your wife and...

Makes it sound like
it's a part I'm playing.

"She comes as
Captain Martin's wife". It's fine.

It's not really a wife thing.

Don't wait up.

It's Christmas Eve!

Maybe Life Magazine will do a profile.

The private life of a private soldier.

In real close.

Honestly? Sure.

Let me ask you something.

Why are you here?

Because I like you.

You meant Aden.

You meant, why are we here in Aden?

Do me a favour.

Take this. Don't come back.

Get up and walk away now.
Don't look behind you.

Take the back alley.

Where's Lance Corporal Stoneham?

I ate him alive.

I'm afraid those photographs
you took can't be published.

I'm interested in one thing -
the truth.

Can I have the film, please?

Or what?

I'm asking politely.

You know, I think, finally,
I understand

how much distance there is

between what's said and what's meant
when an Englishman opens his mouth.

You're threatening me.
How would you feel if you saw

a picture of your brother's head
on a spike in a Sunday newspaper?

You're not here representing the
interests of the Dimarco family.

Corporal Dimarco has three sisters.

The youngest is called Elaine.
She's nine years old.

If she were to ever see
those photographs...

I'll use the other ones.

The dead soldiers.
They make the same point.

Which is?

This is a war.

Your government would like us
to call it something else.

A little "local difficulty".

But these pictures and this reporter
tell us otherwise.

The thirdbusiest port in the world

and the most strategically important

doesn't want to be a part
of the British Empire any more.

Is the capture of Abdul Kadir Hakim
supposed to be secret?

Because my waiter knows,
and he's not happy.

My nose needs powdering.

Hey! What do you think
you're doing?! How dare you!

Thief! Harami!

OK. This man was trying to steal
the bag!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's all right. It's OK, it's OK.

OK. No, no, no. Stay back!

Stay back!

Thief!

He looked in my bag.

Just below the wrist,
off with the hand.

But the victim has the power
of forgiveness.

And I'm the victim.

The World Through A Tear
by Neil Sedaka.

Do you remember Berlin?

Don't. Why not?

It was a long time ago.

Is it very painful?

You must be missing him terribly.

Is it so obvious?

It's everything you say and do.

You don't mind if I join you?

He was good to me.

Nick.

I've wondered... I was wondering
whether it was guilt, or...

But I don't think it was, you know,
I think he just liked me.

Ed, you don't have to do...
No, of course.

I love you.

Part of me was pleased when he died.

Maybe this won't work.

Ed...?

Come on.

Ali, if you can't talk to me,
I mean, if you can't...

talk to your own husband,

then, I don't know, just... Your new
friend, Honor? I mean, she...

I had hopes, but, um... What?

Joe warned her off me.

It's the usual thing.

Rank.

Can't keep you in line
if she's too close to me.

He said that?

He said that!

Is he here?
Um... no. Where is he?

He's talking to one of the men.

Really? Why... why are you...?

You know, Alison, she likes you.
She really likes you.

You want to come down to ours
for a drink?

I don't know how to put this, but my husband
doesn't think... Isn't here on Christmas Eve.

Now, we'd both really like the
pleasure of your company because...

we would.

You know Stoneham's
half in love with you?

Only half? I thought
I was doing better than that.

You're using him.

That's obvious.

That's life.
It's what everyone does.

A cynical view. Anyone who's
any good has a ruthless heart.

They just may not want to admit
to it. Ruthlessness is...

Halfadozen ghost soldiers
facedown in the sand,

Corporal Dimarco's head on a stake
in the middle of the desert.

They're great photographs.

Mea culpa, Joe.

I confess.

I'll tell you where the film is.

On the condition you meet me tomorrow.

Why would you do that?
This isn't a game!

Isn't it?

Tomorrow is Christmas Day.

On which everyone is required
to behave in exactly the same way.

Eating the same food,
singing the same songs,

praising the same great leader.

Christmas Day is like going
to live in a oneparty state.

You can do that.

Or you could be with me.

Hello? Harry, it's me.

Mary. The electricity's off here
and the phone's out...

Mary?

Hello? ..Please.

Hello? Mary, can you hear me? Daddy?

Not now.

George, come on! Hello?

Bang! Got you, Daddy! Jesus Christ!

Yusra!

Right, George,
bed now or Santa won't come.

I haven't got it.
I think that's unlikely to be true.

I haven't got the film, sir.

I could have you courtmartialled,
Stoneham, if you keep this up.

She's playing you along.

You think she'd really be
interested in you?

She's using you.

She's a journalist, it's what they do.

I'm sorry, sir.

I know you're awake.

Shall I read to you?

I have to be asleep
or Santa won't come.

Maybe don't try so hard.

How do you get to sleep?

I listen to the breathing of my little
brother, who sleeps next to me.

Can I visit your house one day?

Um... I don't think that's possible.

Why not? Um...

But, um... Green Teddy
could come visit my house

and then he could tell you about it.
What do you think?

Really? Tonight? Why not?

Yes! It's a good idea.

There you are!
I'm looking for your wife.

I think she's in there.

Come in! The door's open!

Er, excuse me,
our nanny needs to leave,

so, Honor, I wondered
if you might look after George?

So I can get to the hospital.

Of course. Is she all right?

Ali, why don't you go with Honor?

Keep her company.

Joe, did you deal with that reporter?

Yes, sir.

Once you start, it's hard to stop,
you know.

Sir? The secret's not to start.

Sweating, old chap..

Reporter?

Yes, er, confession...

I'm afraid I sent your husband out
to chat up another woman,

all for Queen and country, of course.

So, you got the film?

Yes. And destroyed it?

Yes, sir.

Good man.

Who came before you?

Who was the one he didn't marry?

I don't know.

He hasn't said?

He loves me.

We're in love, that's all.

Well, that's all we've done, really,
is get married, and be in love,

we haven't talked.

But you will.

I'll miss my parents tomorrow.

They did me a stocking every year,
even though I'm...

even though I'm... I'm...
I'm not a child.

A satsuma with a penny in the bottom.

Sorry, I'm talking too much.

The one thing the army offers
by throwing us women together

with nothing to do in dangerous places?

Proper friendship.

Don't tell Joe about what I said
about missing Mummy and Daddy.

I can tell you now,
if you lead your life doing

everything your husband wants,
nothing he doesn't want,

and without the friendship
of women, 30 years from now,

you'll wake up on
the first day of his retirement

and realise you hate him.

And worse than that, hate yourself.

I should check on George.

Alison, take your shoes off
or you'll wake him up! Sh!

Has he been?

Who's that?

Father Christmas.

No.

You smell nice.

Thank you. That's called gin.

I like it.

Good. Go to sleep!

If my mummy wasn't my mummy
I'd want you.

Your mother is a wonderful woman
and she loves you very much.

How do babies come
out of their mummies?

Er, they come out of our tummies.

No, they don't. Alison!

They come out of our vaginas.

Er...

Are you going to be a mummy?

George?

Yes?

There's something you need to know.

Alison, I...
You should sit up for this.

What is it?
Alison, honestly, I don't...

Father Christmas doesn't exist.

No...! No!

No, he does. He does. Listen to me.

She doesn't know
what she's talking about.

He does exist.

Look at me, George.

Father Christmas is real.

Promise.

Now go to sleep or he won't come.

Get to sleep.

I'm sure it's fine, sir.

I'm sorry to drag you out
on Christmas Eve.

I'm Jewish, sir.

Yes.

Of course. Sorry.

So, what will you do on Christmas Day?

Prepare for a full kit inspection.

That's a bit harsh on yourself -
you're polishing your Sam Brown

while everyone else is having fun.

I was a kindertransport child, sir.

Great Britain took me in
when I was 13 years old.

I owe my new country everything
including my life,

so, once a year, while everyone else
is busy pulling crackers

and eating turkey, I take the time
to contemplate my good fortune.

Who carried out
the inspection last year?

Captain Page last year.

Sir, you should go and see your wife.

1900 hours, tomorrow. Be ready
for my inspection, Corporal.

Sir. Yes, sir.

Take me home for Christmas,
Harry Markham.

How's your ankle, Corporal Armstrong?

Much better, thank you, ma'am.

Thank you. Ma'am.

Your father?

Er, the same.

You know. He's fine.

How's my husband?

It's good to have you back, Mrs M.

I'll just go and see George.

Hello, young man.

Teach me to sing.

Teach me to smoke.

Hello.

Once In Royal David's City.

What time is it?

It's Christmas Day.

I got him his, erm...

his stamps.

They're AustroHungarian Empire.

What? Nothing.

What?

Well, they're for you, really,
aren't they, darling?

Sorry! Should I...? Should I go?

No, no, it's fine.
We'll, erm... Well, no, no.

No, no, you stay here,
I'll... We'll both stay here

and I'll just... I won't look.

Good grief, George!

Hello. Hello.

Father Christmas won't come
if he's crying like that.

Darling, darling, darling.

Ssh.

He's not real, anyway.

Who told you that?

Mrs Laithwaite.

Now, you listen to your father.
What have I said to you?

You promised he'd come.
And have I ever broken a promise?

Back to bed.

Where are you going?
I won't be long.

Baxter!

Sir?

I need you to do something for me.

Above and beyond the call of duty.

Now, how much can we fit
in there?

Little George has been a very good boy.

By arresting Hakim,
you have kicked a hornets' nest.

Well, I'm just surprised
he evaded us as long as he did.

He had help. From who?

A village, 12 miles west of
the base. What kind of a village?

Goats and goatherds. NLF?

A growing influence.

So they'll be looking for revenge?

Sooner or later.

It looks that way.

Go! Go!

He knows me.

Ed...

- Do it!
- Please...

Do it.

He knows me.

In The Bleak Midwinter.

May the joys of the angels,
the eagerness of the shepherds,

the perseverance of the wise men,

the obedience of Joseph and Mary

and the peace of the Christ child
be yours this Christmas.

And the blessing of God Almighty
and the Father,

the Son and the Holy Spirit...

I was wrong.

What, when you said...
I am a mistake.

Yusra... It's not possible.

Please leave alone.
No, hang on, I don't understand.

Do not read this until tomorrow.

But... Promise me.

Yusra...?

Almighty God, by whose grace
we are called to positions

of responsibility and trust...

If you want to sit and start
on the melon, um, yeah?

George, shall we go to the table?

I love melon.

Yeah, watch that shirt.

Don't tell anyone.

I'm pregnant.

It's nice to see you both
praising the Lord with such gusto.

Well, I like the words.

I've always loved Blake.

It's Christina Rossetti.

I'm sure it's Blake.

All right, Harry.
Let's just say it's Blake.

Ready for Grace?

George.

For what we are about to receive
may the Lord make us truly thankful.

Amen.

Do you believe in God, Honor?

Of course she does.

Yes, it's a good way to live.

No one could disagree with that.
Love thy neighbour and so on.

Do you think?

Alison... Whoever they are, Mary?

Whoever your neighbour happens to be?

How about Josef Mengele?

Should the family Schmidt

next door to the monster doctor
love Joe Mengele?

Or Joseph Stalin?

Should the Dimitrievs at 21A
love the man next door?

Just to stick with the Josephs.
Stupidest advice I ever heard.

I'm in favour of hating
those who deserve to be hated.

Can we open another bottle,
Honor, darling?

Maybe we should wait for the turkey.
Alison wants a drink.

It's Christmas.

Believing in God is about
as intelligent as believing

in Father Christmas.

Father Christmas IS real.

Is he? Indeed he is, George.

You see how easy it is
if you catch them young enough?

You see how you can get small human
beings believing anything...

Do you know what I say... Do you
know what Alfred Hitchcock says?

The most terrifying thing
he's ever seen?

A priest...

talking to young children.

Run for your lives!
What do you say to that, Harry?

Father Christmas IS real.

No, that's something
called faith, George.

I saw him last night in my bedroom.

The crackers!
We haven't pulled the crackers.

George? Ready? Can you reach?

Merry Christmas, everyone.
Merry Christmas. One, two, three!

Listen, everyone,
Simple Simon says touch your toes.

Sir.

Simple Simon says clap your hands.

Simple Simon says rub your tummy.

Pat your head.

No!

Can we go now?

I think the Markhams might skip
the BP Club this Christmas.

Mummy! George. But... George!

Well, we could take George.
I could look after him.

It would be such a shame for him
to miss out on all the fun.

It's not funny! It's funny.

Can we swim to the raft?

I'm sorry, George.

I'm not a very strong swimmer.

Maybe if you ask nicely, Joe
will bring you? Please! Joe?

Er...

Go on! Please?

Yes!

Shop Around by The Miracles.

Where are you off to, young man?

We're just going to check the film.

You remember what we arranged? They want you
to talk on the crisis of faith. What's that?

I thought you'd know,
you're a writer.

Of course you do. Goodnight, old
man. I've forgotten my hat.

Hello, Harvey. Mrs Martin.

Merry Christmas.

Enjoy The Third Man.

Where's Lassie? It's ALWAYS Lassie.

Well, shall we find you some ice cream?

And then we can put your trunks on,
do you think that's a good idea?

Yeah? Yes!

Tell me about your new American friend.

There isn't much to say.
Have you plans to meet up again?

No plans.

Excuse me.

Sorry, thank you.

All of us are asked on
this special day

to choose our own favourite carol.

And this is my choice.
O Come All Ye Faithful...

a child in Canterbury.

A carol for the ages,
I hope you'll agree.

O Come All Ye Faithful.

Markham.

Yes.

Thank you.

Everything all right?

I have to go to the BP Club.

Why?

Always Something There
To Remind Me by Sandie Shaw.

Your wife, she's, er...

What? My wife's what?

She's, er...

What's the word you're finding
so hard to say, Joe?

She drinks too much.

Maybe not enough.

She's embarrassing herself...

and you... No!

Not me. I'm not embarrassed.

It's Christmas Day.

I don't want this to...

Spit it out, Joe.

Just go and tap him on the back.

Joe, can we swim to the raft now?

Please?

Come on, Joe, don't be embarrassed.

Go on, Joe, you promised.

OK.

Congratulations.

Alison told me.

About the baby.

Downtown by Petula Clark.

There you are, sir.
Thank you, Armstrong.

Baxter.

Is it my father, sir?

I'm afraid so. Last night
in his sleep. I'm so sorry.

We'll get you on the next flight
back to RAF Lyneham.

It's almost time.

What?

I have to get ready, sir.

You know, Alec, you really don't
have... Yes, I do, sir.

And don't forget, children,

Father Christmas is going
to be here at 4 o'clock!

Are you a good swimmer? Sorry? What?

Are you a good swimmer?

Er, yes.

How about you?

Very good.

Yusra?

Go away.

Get away from me.

I forgot my trunks.

I can't swim without my trunks.

I'm sorry. Next time, hey? Yeah.

It's a promise.
Now, let's get you back.

Hello, George.

I'm afraid I've disappointed him.

He wanted to swim to the raft.

I can take you to the beach -

paddling only, but better than
nothing. What do you think? Yes?

OK. Here you are.

Thank you.

Crater. The Gordon Hotel.

See you on the other side.

Hello, little man!

Do you all know who I am?

Father Christmas!
Yes, I'm Father Christmas!

Honor, where's George?

They were going swimming
in the sea, Joe and George.

George can't swim in the sea!

George!

George? George!

George! George!

I'm so sorry!

They were going to swim to the raft!

God! George!

Help! There's a child missing!

George! George!

Joe!?

My son's out there!

George?!

Joe said there were sharks. JOE!

What did you do with the film?

Destroyed it.

Good.

Good? It's a better story.

I don't understand.

The lengths the British Army
will go to cover up the truth.

It's better, it's bigger.

Listen, it's not that simple
and you know it isn't.

Did you tell your wife where
you were going on Christmas day?

Excuse me.

I gotta go.

His name is George.

Most of you know him.

He was wearing a red football shirt
with the number seven on the back.

If we could look everywhere, please,
every room.

He's probably just playing
somewhere, I'm sure.

He was with Joe Martin.

No, no. I saw Captain Martin leave.

Was he...? On his own. He was...

He was leaving on his own, sir.
So George...? He wasn't with him.

Honor.

It's all my fault.

No, I... I...
I was supposed to look after him.

Look, drink this down.

And this.

Good girl.

What am I going to tell Mary?

What about Mary?

Joe! Thank God! Where's George?!

I haven't seen him.

Well, what... what do you mean?
Where were you?!

You were supposed to be with him and
you were to bring him to the raft!

I left him with Yusra.
Well, where's Yusra?

Where's Yusra?!

Harry... I have to tell her.
I have to tell Mary. Harry!

Mary...?

Mary, George is, um...

George was, er...

We don't know where he is.

He was with Yusra and, er...

We can't find him.

If he's with Yusra, then he's safe.

They'll have gone somewhere
together. Where does she live?

Think, Mary. You must know.

Crater, I think.
Where in Crater? Come on.

Jesus Christ, Mary!
Why don't you know?!

Crater isn't a bloody village!

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Right.

Crater.

Now, I'm sure this is all
some sort of misunderstanding.

Um, we think he may have gone
off with the...

the local woman who, um...

Er, her name is Yusra.

And we're not sure where
exactly she lives...

It's somewhere in Crater.
And I'm asking for your help.

The phone call was anonymous.

The parcel was on my bed in my room.

This was inside.

They've taken him.

The NLF.

They've got George.

It's all right, it's all right...

Shh...

Have you got your flight home,
Baxter? I'm not going, sir.

Go home. That's an order.
Your father would...

My father is dead, sir. There's
nothing I can do for him any more.

Your son has his whole life ahead
of him and we're going to find him.

Are you disobeying my order?
Yes, sir. I am.

I'm leaving Orchover here
to look after you.

And I'm going to lead
the search of Crater,

with your permission to do so, sir?

Permission granted.

Sir, you don't have to...

1930 hours. Sorry
I'm half an hour late, Corporal.

Shoes, excellent.

Sir. Sam Brown...

Perfect. Sir.

He wants to be a Royal Military
Policeman when he grows up.

Then he will be, sir.

These corners are the best
I've ever seen. Sir.

It's the CO's boy!
We're going to bring him home.

We thought you might like
half an hour on your own with him.

What do you want? My country back.

This is our son.

You have to talk to me.
I let this happen.

I'm just thinking about the life
experience of our new acting CO.

Major Markham remains in command.

He doesn't know I'm pregnant.

I don't want a baby.
I thought he knew.

Am I doing something wrong, Joe?

I can't ask permission from my wife
for everything that I do.

George!