The Last Kingdom (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Episode #1.5 - full transcript

My name is Uhtred,
son of Uhtred.

I was born a Saxon

but stolen and raised as a Dane.

Now I find myself
bound to King Alfred.

And bound by marriage to Wessex.

I have a Christian wife
whom I care for.

And a child I have never seen.

I have land, burdened with debt.

It is a substantial
amount, Lord...

Alfred could remove the debt,
but he has chosen not to.

And a sly servant
I cannot trust.



And though I miss
the ways of the Danes

and their hunger for life
and for battle...

Never cross Ubba.

And never, never fight him.

Fate has stirred
my Saxon heart for a reason.

Ubba and his army have
returned from Ireland.

And my fleet is where?

They left Lundene several days
ago and are nearly here, Lord.

Destiny is all.

Lord? Lord?
When will you
need assistance?

Mildrith!

- Odda?
- Mildrith. Thank God.

What are you doing here?

You must come with me.
The peace is over.
We are under siege.



Since when?

You must gather all you need
and quickly.

-The Danes could be here
at any time.
-I cannot go with you.

Yes, you can, you must.

If the peace is over,
then what of Uhtred?

Mildrith, the Danes have
broken the truce...

We have killed all the
hostages given to us and
they will have done the same.

If Uhtred has survived,
it can only be as a traitor,
a Dane!

No.

Regardless, it is no longer
safe for you here.
You must come with me.

Mildrith! I beg you,
for the sake of your child.

Do not worry about us, lady,
we'll get ourselves and
the livestock to the hills.

Get yourself clear of
this place.

Anything of value I will bury!

Don't just pull at the bugger,
you'll have it torn!

Find out what holds it!

How much for your horse?

He is not for sale.

I'll give you twice its worth...

In silver.

Have any washed up alive?

Not on my beach.
God's taken hundreds
of the bastards.

Though it's said hundreds more
have landed safely
further up the shore.

Friends of yours?

You should take your families
to safety.

Ertwit?

He has your look.
Definitely.

Little Ertwit. Little Ertwit.

Let's hope he does not
develop my constitution.

They are here.

Oh, shh...

Odda? Wulfhere?

- Lord.
- Lord.

Difficult times,
which we will face head on.

They never rest.

Do we march as one,
Lord, or are we to split?

We are split.

You both shall ride towards
the Severn River to face Ubba.

I shall ride south
to face Guthrum.

Should we not all be marching
to the Severn, Lord?

If the first battle is won,
then the Danes may not
care for a second.

Wulfhere, even in victory
we can never be sure of our
surviving numbers.

Some of Guthrum's ships will
have made it to shore,

and I cannot let him simply
walk through Wessex.

He must be faced.

Odda, should either of us
have luck and
defeat our enemy quickly,

we will march to
the other's aid.

Yes, Lord, of course.

Prepare...

By God, girl, you are
a lovely field to plough.

A lovely field to plough.

Better than barley.
Better than barley.

By God, girl,
better than barley!

Better than barley, yeah!

Better than barley!

Lord! Lord! Forgive me, Lord,
it's never happened before.

I swear,
it'll never happen again.

- It was the girl's idea.
- It was not!

- Where's my wife?
- It was not my idea at...

Where is my wife and child?

Wait! Wait! Lord!
She's with Lord Odda,
the younger.

- Odda?
- Yes, Lord.

He took the lady and your son.

-She went willingly, Lord,
to protect the child.
-My son?

Yes, Lord. You have a son.

Handsome little man he is.
Looks like his father.

I should really take your
balls for this desecration.

Yes, Lord. No, Lord...
Please.

I don't care for you,
your wife, your children,
nor your whore.

Lord, he made me do it,
with the promise of a coin.

It was false promise, Lord,
I have no coin.

I will need a fresh horse,
food and drink.

Yes, Lord.
Your horse was returned,
it's in the stable.

My house is not your house.

No, Lord.
I beg your pardon, Lord.

My land is not your land.
Treat me as a fool again
and I will kill you.

Yes, Lord.

I'll enjoy it.

I believe you would.

Leave me.

Uhtred, son of Uhtred.

We outnumber them, I feel.

We outnumber them if you count
the farm-boys and women, Lord.

You fear them, Leofric?

I do not. Though some do.

It is not about fear,
it is about strategy.

We hold the high ground.
They must come to us.

-And if they
decide to wait, Lord?
-Why would they?

Because we are sat isolated
on the high ground.

- And supplies are low.
- They don't know that.

We bide our time.
Hold our position.

And with luck,
Alfred will see off Guthrum

and provide us
with reinforcements.

For now we stay put.
On this hill.

Lord...

They are gathering,
and they are watching.

They have the higher ground.

But I do not want to wait.

So when do I attack?

I will cast the runes.

Storri, I will need
a clear answer.

I will get one.

I have your answer, Lord.

Look, this is us
at the base of their hill.

They sit on top,
but that's not
an advantage.

This is a feather
from that camp.
Bone dry and faded.

Water runs down the hill,
not up.

You have your wish, Lord.
An early attack is good.

They're weak.

They will surrender or die.

And then we move
into the heart of Wessex.

Shield wall.

Advance! One! Two!

Horseman approaching!

Halt.

Go and fetch Lord Odda.
The Elder!

It is Uhtred.
How could he have lived?

We will ask.

Aelderman Uhtred.
We feared you'd been killed!

That you were not
is a miracle,
or something less godly.

- Where is she?
- What? What?

Where's my wife and child?

She... She's safe!

-You brought her here?
-She is safe!
Did you not hear him?

She is safe!
I took her to safety,
nothing more!

Mildrith is with my own wife!
On my land, in my house!

Where she has lived
happily in the past!

Put away your dagger!

Swear that you haven't
laid a hand on her.

- I will do no such thing!
- Swear!

Lord,

you will take your blade
away from my Lord,
and you will do it now.

Arseling!

You have my word
that neither Mildrith

nor your son have been harmed.

I swear. Do as I ask.

Treason.
But what can we expect?

Enough! This in-fighting
and argument!

Disperse. All of you! Now!

Your wife remains
my god-daughter.

You should be thanking my son,
not threatening him!

Now you come to me when
your thinking is clear.

And you explain to me why
you are still breathing
and stupid.

You are back from the dead
and unchanged.

All you had to do was get down
from your horse and ask,
"Have you seen my wife?"

That would have been
the better choice, yes.

But then Young Odda wouldn't
have shit himself.

You seen her? She's well?

She is well.
The child however...

- Sickly?
- Ugly.

- Like his father?
- Worse.

And with the smallest
of pebbles for a penis.

Like his father.

If you wish to see him for
yourself, arseling, I say you
leave the way you came.

I'm serious.
We are stuck on this hill
and here we will die.

What does Odda say?

Odda is a decent man,
but, as a warrior,

he has all the guile and
menace of a sheep.

We have the ground,
the slope. I will not
surrender that advantage.

But if food is scarce, Lord,
how long can we wait?

We shall find food!

We have food for
how many days?
Two, three, four?

Enough time for Alfred
to arrive.

You yourself have reported
that the storms have taken
most of Guthrum's ships.

- But not all.
- But enough, perhaps.

So we wait. Mmm?

Agreed, for a time.

We give Alfred as much time
as possible.

I will offer negotiations.

And while these negotiations
are taking place, we will send
out hunting parties, several.

Alfred will come.

I'll attend these negotiations
with Ubba.

You have not been invited.

It's my right.

If the other hostages
were killed,
how did he survive?

He was taken as a child
by the Danes
and he survived.

We would do well to follow him.

Follow him?

Or listen to
what he has to say,
Lord, is what I meant.

Lord Ubba, may I present
the Lord Odda of Wessex.

There never seems to be
a meeting
that you do not attend.

Is there more than one of you?

Lord Ubba,

Odda's Alfred's
most trusted general.

I don't give a shit who he is.

All he needs to do
is to surrender.

There will be no surrender.

What will there be?

There will be no surrender.

Though I do invite you to
return to your ships.

Guthrum may have
broken the peace,

but there's no need for
Ubba to do likewise.

We will not be returning
to our ships.

- And I shall not be
moving from this hill.

You have no business in Wessex.

My business is to kill you.

You may try.

Guthrum's fleet's gone.

Njord reached out from
the deep and dragged Guthrum's
fleet down to the sea-bed.

-You are lying.
-I watched the fleet die and
its men go under.

Storri, what do you say?

Lord, I do not see
for Guthrum, I...
I see for you.

Storri is a man who wears
a stick up his arse.

He didn't see
that coming either.

No, that's... That's a lie!
It's all lies.
Look at his eyes!

You are next to die,
Ubba, and I know it.
I cast the runes.

That's an even bigger lie.

Earl Ragnar the Fearless
is with the Gods
and they are angry at you.

You allow his death
to go unpunished.

Avenging Earl Ragnar is
not my business!

That's for his son!

You're next to die, Ubba.

Then fight me! And you'll see
who is next to die! Fight me!

Lord, we're negotiating.

You will not say another word!
He will not say another word!

He will not, no. Best not.

I will not say another word!

Talking is over!

You piece of weasel shit!

Storri! Storri!

What now, eh?

Where are we left standing?
In shit?

Now we have time.

How? If it's possible,
you've made them want to
kill us even more!

We should attack.

My men are good men.

Though half of them are armed
only with reaping hooks,
they're here.

Reaping hooks can kill.

How well do you know Ubba?

I have known Ubba
since I was 11-years-old.

He is the greatest warrior
I have ever seen.

But he is cautious.

He listens to the gods,
always...

I goaded him
only to make him doubt.

It will take a little while
for the doubt to clear.

You have your time.

But I say again,
we should attack.

If we attack
we will be outflanked.

My men die,

all of them.

I know each of them.

I'd hoped this hill and
Alfred might save them. Us.

Alfred won't come.

The food won't last,
and Ubba's mind will clear.

It seems inevitable
they will take Wessex.

What if we were able to
outflank the Danes?

- How?
- We burn their ships.

Even if it's just three or four,

they would be running
to the fire.

-Then we attack.
-They'll be disorganised,
no shield wall.

We could be killing them
before they know we are there.

Who would set the fires?

I will.

Alone.

But I will need your word that
you will attack as soon as
the fires have taken hold.

You have it.

If we succeed, Lord,
you will have saved Wessex.

If he succeeds
and fires the ships,

it will undoubtedly
cause panic amongst the Danes.

Which is the aim.

How best do we use that panic?

Is an attack likely
to be successful?

Would it not be better
to escape this hill?

We could return to Winchester
without the loss
of a single man.

Excepting Uhtred.

Father, if what Uhtred says
about the storm is true,

and Guthrum's fleet is
all but destroyed,

we would join
forces with Alfred.

We may well
meet him on the road.

Then we are all against Ubba.

As a strategy it makes sense.

I gave him my word.

He will die

and you can call him a hero.

The others are here.

You must decide what
you will tell them.

I have called for you,
to tell you to ready your men,
all men. Everyone.

We shall be moving. Soon.

Moving, Lord?

Aelderman Uhtred has
volunteered himself to
distract the Danes.

He will endeavour to
set alight a number of
their ships.

- He has gone?
- Yes.

- Alone?
- Yes.

If he should succeed in
causing this distraction,

we will move.

In which direction, Lord?

Ready your men,
tell them nothing.

Lord Odda, with respect,
you told us nothing.

I have told you to
ready your men.

-Ready for battle?
-Ready your men.
Each of you.

Go!

Prepare!

I see nothing on the river.

- It will soon be first light.
- Can you not speak?

Very well.

Ships on fire. Ships on fire.

Fetch buckets and barrels.

Lord Odda, we are ready,
but to do what?

He has done it, look.
He's fired the ships.

We attack.

Lord? Lord, you awake?

- Lord!
- What?

- The ships have been fired!
- Oh!

- It's him, I know it.
- Yes.

You saw them dying
on the hill!
Did you not see a fire?

I told you I can only see
what the runes allow!

- How many ships burn?
- I don't know. Many.

They are planning something,
they must be.

Lord, there. That's him.

You! Uhtred Ragnarson! You!

Are you afraid of me?

Man on man.

I will make the square.

Will you fight me?

Are you the son of
Ragnar the Fearless,

or are you a coward?

I will fight you, Ubba.
If that's what you want.

But you will die.

Fetch him a shield.

You are half naked, Lord,
you might catch a chill.

This will not take long.

Was it you? The fires?

Must have been the Gods.

They're angry with you.

First blood or to the death?

Go to Valhalla, Lord.

Shield wall!

Now kill the bastards.

Tie them.

Tie them all together,
form a chain.

Bind them tightly.

If any object,

march them into the river.

Get this inside your belly,
arseling.

God knows you deserve it.

Lord Odda is hurt.

Badly.

He kept his word.

He would.

He is a good man.

A good Aelderman.

I want Ubba buried with his axe.

His axe has gone.

Young Odda wants him
cut into pieces.

No, that can't happen.

-He would have done
the same to you.
-He is Ubba.

As close as the Danes
will ever come to a King.

I'll see he's buried.

You, you have a task ahead.

You go directly to Alfred and
you kneel at his feet.

And tell the bastard
you have saved Wessex.

No, I'll go to Mildrith.

If you don't do it,
some other bugger will,
and there will be reward.

Men have seen it.
They know what I have done.
Let them tell Alfred.

I need to see my son.

You're a turd.

A ball bag.

Is that the best you can do?

Nipple?

Lord. I want to thank you
for not abandoning me.

I know that would have
been a choice,

a reasonable choice.

I will go to your estate now,
to see Mildrith and my son.

You served Alfred well, today.

Thank you, Lord.

Who is there?

Forgive me.
You looked too beautiful
to disturb.

You may disturb me.
Immediately.

Uhtred, son of Uhtred.

Who is the son of another
Uhtred and another.

He has a kingdom to inherit.

I will see that it happens.

Tomorrow or the day after,
we go home

and then to Winchester.

The three of us, yes.

I'll go to Alfred and he will
fall at my feet.

- He will?
- He will.

He will free us of our debt,
at the very least.

We will build a great hall
and hold a feast.

I'd like that.

And I'd like Uhtred to be
baptised in Winchester.

Father Beocca could
perform the ceremony.

He'd be pleased.

Uhtred, it's what I want.

God is good, Uhtred.

He kept you safe,

he brought you home to me.

My sword kept me safe.

Believe me. God is good.

They've not yet
gone to battle.
This is good.

I alone will speak.

Alfred is to hear one
clear message.

How is the mood in the camp?

It's good, Lord.
The men are well.

Afraid?

No, no more than is usual.

I, erm...

I worry that I do not
inspire them.

That they do not
see me as a warrior.

Lord...

Lord, it is Odda.

What is this?

Young Odda? You have news?
Where is your father?

He was wounded in battle,

a great battle at Cynuit, Lord.

Lord, I have a gift for you.

Ubba is dead,
his army is defeated.

This is... This is true?

It is, Lord. Two days ago.

Praise God, praise him.

Well, then, Wessex is saved.

It is, yeah, for a time.

Guthrum will have
no choice now,
but to make peace.

While your father recovers,
you will stand in his place.

His lands will be your lands
and more.

Wessex is saved.

Everybody is walking
to the palace.

A celebration, it must be.
A celebration of Prayers.

I believe you did this.

The great hall is now full,
there is no more room.

The King thanks you all
for coming, but you need
to pray here, outside.

Father Beocca.

The palace is full.

Father Beocca.

-There will be ale and food
available for everyone.
-Father.

Uhtred?

You are here before me now!

I am and with my child.

Oh, God be praised.
You are alive!

Of course I'm alive.
Why shouldn't I be alive?

You were at Werham, a hostage.
We thought you were dead.

No father, I was at Cynuit.
I fought at Cynuit.

Did they not say?

I'll see Alfred now!

What is it?

Nothing I'm sure that cannot
be resolved given time.
Uhtred!

I'll see Alfred.

Uhtred, Alfred is at peace!

Uhtred! Please!

Uhtred, please,
you cannot disturb prayers!

Uhtred!

Uhtred, your sword!

Forgive me, but I am told that
you believe me dead?

Uhtred, this is not the time.

Father Beocca here
believed me dead,
and yet just days ago

I was with at Cynuit
with Lord Odda.

It was Lord Odda and I who
devised our battle plan.

Did the boy not say?

Uhtred, stop now.

Perhaps you'd like to speak now?

Odda, you will say nothing.

Perhaps you would like to
describe Ubba's death?

Lord, I would like to invite
the Aelderman here to join us,

in giving thanks and prayer.

Giving thanks for what,
for victory?
For the death of the pagan?

Who do you think killed
the pagan?

I cannot save you.

I fought Ubba, man-on-man,
and I killed him!

It was his axe
against my sword,
this sword!

Is there any man here
who will deny it?

Be still! Everyone!
Be still and be silent!

I have heard enough.
You have said enough.
This is not seemly.

Now sheath your sword and
remember where you stand.

Lord, what I'm saying to you...

You have broken my peace.

You have broken
the peace of Christ,

and you have brought weapons
into a sacred place.

Lord,
I'm telling you the truth...

You will go directly to
the courtyard and you will
wait for me to pass judgement.

Judgement? For what?
I have done nothing wrong...

You will be quiet!

We will, erm...

We will continue
with a moment of silence

to help find the peace
once more.

This interruption cannot be
allowed to go unpunished.

It must be death.

Peace be with you, my dear.

Why are you unable to reason?
To show patience?

-All I expect is justice.
-And it comes.
To those who have faith.

Now is not the time to
talk of faith.

Now is precisely the time.
Now is when it's needed.

I'll have none of it!

You're too ready with anger.

There's a bad spirit
within you that needs
to be exorcised.

You should look to God.

I'll pray for you.

Humility is what you need.

What I need, woman, is justice.

- You sober?
- Delicate.

You are to grovel.

What, again?

With me.

All I did was abscond
from a monastery.

Aeldorman Wulfhere.
You know this wretch,
I believe?

We've met.

The King has sent me
to punish you,
along with Aethelwold here.

What his wife would like
is for me to pull your guts
through your smelly arse.

Aelswith is forever inventive.

Lady, you are to go to
Aelswith, for comfort.
She waits in the chapel.

Do you know what
the punishment is for drawing
your sword before the King?

A fine.
Payable to the church,
no doubt?

Death.

But Alfred is feeling merciful.

You will not dangle, not today.

He wants your assurance
you will keep the peace.

What peace?

His peace, you fool!

It does not matter
a gnat's dick
that you killed Ubba.

What matters is that
Odda the Younger has
claimed the credit.

Should his father
die from his wounds,

Odda becomes one of
the richest men in Wessex.

-And men will want to
praise his bravery.
-My bravery.

Not a gnat's dick.

The sun now shines from
Odda the Younger's arse-hole,
and it is blinding.

Do you understand me?

Good.

You are to do penance.

To do what?

Grovel.

You are to dress like a girl,

go on your knees
and be humiliated.

I won't grovel.

Then Aelswith gets her wish
and I pull your guts through
your arse. Which will it be?

On your knees.

Now you will crawl all the way
to the palace,

where you will kiss the cross

and lie flat down on your face.

And then what?

God and the King will
forgive you.

Go.

Go.

I will lead, but you owe me!

What?

Oh!

Oh, Lord, I am a sinner!
Do not look at me.

I am a sinner, Lord,
as big a sinner
as you will ever see!

I have known women, Lord!
Lots and lots of women.

Lucky bugger.

Women of all sizes.

The big tits, small tits.

I have squeezed and...
And kissed them all.

I have rested my head

on the bosoms of beautiful
but bad, bad women.

Lord, forgive me!

I have lost count
of the number of women
I have had.

But I know it is exactly
half the number of tits
I have caressed!

Oh, God, I love tits!

Send me an angel, Lord.

What? So you can hump her?

A titless angel to guide me.

No more servant girls
in my bed chamber, Lord,

please...

I beg you.

You must lay flat and
kiss the cross.

Kiss my arse.
You and your God.

Uhtred. Uhtred, stop!

- We are leaving this place.
- We can't.

We are leaving.
Collect your belongings.

It will be dark soon
and there's the baptism.

It is important.

My son will not be baptised.
No priest will whisper
lies and deceit into his ears

and half drown him in water!

Stop it,
stop it you are angry!

He'll be a pagan,
like his father.

Why are you saying this?

We will stay tonight,
no longer. I will find you
in the morning.

Where are you going?

Drinking. And whoring.

I love tits!

And we appreciate
the finer points of the tit,
the smaller tits,

the manageable tits,
the pert, eager delighted tit,
the soft enveloping tit,

the tit that makes you
feel at home,

like a puppy's nose.
Grateful, eager,
receptive to touch.

How are your knees?

I can't laugh about it.

There's no justice here.
Only the church.

You knew that.

I hear you're now
Young Odda's man now.

I'm passed from
father to son, yes.
Like the land.

I can't stay in Wessex.

You have a wife.
A child you could not
wait to see.

Where would you go?

Odda is afraid that
you will kill him.

Tell him I might.

Tell him each night,
before he goes to bed.

I need to find wealth,
but here it is impossible.

Danes, they would see it
and take it.

Then that is what we do.

We become Danes and
we'll plunder.

Men will follow you.

Those men we have schooled,
others who were at Cynuit,
they will follow you.

You're saying that we raid?

-We find wealth
and we take it.
-Here in Wessex?

No, you do not shit
at your own table.

Cornwalum,
we take it from the Britons.

Do not say yes, not yet.
Think.

I'll do the same.

But why should Odda be
rewarded and not us?

Lord. Welcome.

I was not expecting you
home so soon.

Did the baptism go well?

It's a fine tree.

- Good day, lady.
- A miserable day.

Where was it felled,
this tree?

- On the top ridge, Lord.
- On my land?

Yes, Lord. I am taking it to
Wigulf's Mill, for splitting.

He buys it?

He splits it, Lord.
We need, er...

We need timber for repairs.

He takes his payments
in split wood.

If we need timber,
why not split it ourselves?

Wigulf has always done it, Lord.

So if I go to Wigulf,
he will tell me how many such
trees he has split,

and you will show me the timber?

How much is
a tree like this worth?
Eight, nine shillings?

-I'm not certain, Lord.
-How much does he pay you
for my timber?

- Lord, it is one tree.
- How much does he pay you?

-Lady, please.
-How much does he pay
you for my timber?

Uhtred, no!

You be quiet!

Uhtred!

Uhtred!

That was justice!