The L Word: Generation Q (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 6 - Questions for the Universe - full transcript
Sexy music
This dyke wanna go all night
Boom, boom
This dyke wanna be alone
with you...
What, what, what?
- Come here.
- No, no.
Boom, boom
Tell me, baby,
what you wanna do?
Ride it tonight
I'm picking up...
Wow, I can't believe
we're really doing this.
Go slow,
I love the way you look at me
Hand on your thigh
when I drive type of game
Tell me with your eyes
when we've reached the highway
This dyke
That's why we did
the cleanse, Soph.
To prevent that exact outcome.
Okay, 'cause I really
don't want to shit my pants.
Yeah, no, I got you.
Don't worry about it.
- Okay, good, good, good.
- Besides, it's gonna be good
to do, like, a little
team building, don't you think?
- Yeah, yeah. It's... yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, final packing question:
How many safari onesies
is too many?
N... No.
Hello?
Right there.
Hi.
That's a lot of n-naked people
on my...
velvet couch.
Get me out of here,
runnin' out of air
Runnin' out of,
get me out of here
I got no fucks to give
Get me out of here,
runnin' out of air
Runnin' out of,
get me out of here
I got no fucks to give
Don't wear white, okay.
Soph.
Uh, yeah. I'm in here.
I think I found a good one.
She looks like a real winner
on Car Max.
Heated seats or no?
What's this?
Oh, I'm...
I'm going
on that-that work retreat.
Remember? I told you.
Oh, yeah.
Alice practically bullied
all of us into going.
Is this...
Is this what I should wear?
- I just...
- I'm not sure. Um...
Yeah, it's gonna be really hot
in the desert, so...
Okay, well, this is in Reseda.
What time are you leaving?
It's gonna take, like,
20 minutes to get there, so...
Oh, well, I don't...
I-I don't think I have time
to go to Reseda before I go.
- Okay.
- Um...
But, hey, wait, um,
can they hold it for you?
They're not gonna hold it
for me.
Well, you can ask.
No, I'm not gonna ask them
to do that. Uh...
Okay, well, wait, what do you,
what do you want me to do?
Do you want me to stay
and help you buy the car?
- Because I will. If... I will.
- No. No, no.
I'll stay.
No, it's-it's fine.
Have a good trip.
Soft, somber music
I'm sorry.
I-I'm gonna clean this up.
I just,
I-I really lost track of time.
Sorry.
Okay, there's no gentle way
to say this.
You're kind of a fucking mess.
I know. I know that.
Which is why
I'm gonna go to a hotel and
I'm gonna get out of your hair.
'Cause...
I shouldn't be doing this.
- What? No.
- Yes.
No, I'm not letting you
out of my sight.
Well, I guess it looks like
you're just gonna have
to come with me.
Absolutely not.
I am not taking ayahuasca in
the desert with your coworkers.
Why? Chelsea Handler did it.
I hooked up
with one of your employees.
Oh, my God, Ivy's not gonna be
there. She moved to New York.
She got a job there.
She didn't tell you?
No.
Oh.
I'm throwing these.
If someone calls for them,
they're in the trash.
Oh, those are Bridget's.
Um, you know their names now?
Okay.
Regardless, no, Al.
- Count me out.
- You know what they say?
They say it's like ten years
of therapy but in one night.
And you could use the ten.
I mean 20, but...
All right, fine.
- Great.
- Fine. Fine.
Oh, the smell.
It's, like, thick.
Also, don't wear white.
What?
No white.
"No Stress" by CMD/CTRL
Mm, mm-mm, mm-mm
Mm, mm...
Showtime!
- It's happening
- Everybody get to know
- It's happening
- Everybody in the flow...
All right, well...
I've been having
a really cult-y year.
Thank you!
May your stay be as peaceful
as your heart.
Oh. Does that get rid
of the demons?
- Good.
- Thank you.
Thanks.
- Christ.
- What?
She got me right in the eye.
Do you want... some of this?
I'd hate to take away
from your experience.
- Oh!
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Thank you so much.
Oh, God,
I feel so fucking terrible.
- Why?
- Already?
I just got into a fight
with Finley,
and she's not returning
any of my calls.
- Huh.
- You know what,
I think maybe I should just...
- maybe I should just go.
- No.
No! No, we are here
to do team building and drugs.
You're staying.
Hey.
Do it for the drugs.
Do it for the drugs.
Okay, first of all,
thank you for coming.
You all do so much
for the show. You do.
And you put your heart
and soul into it.
All day, every day.
And I just wanted to do
something special
to say thank you,
so thank you,
thank you, thank you.
I really think this experience
is gonna make us stronger
and bring us together.
So, go, team.
Um, I will see you all
on the other side.
You holding up the tree?
No one thinks
this retreat is about work.
What else would it be about?
You.
Why would you say that?
It's obviously about my staff
and my team.
Sure.
I'm gonna lose control, yeah
I'm gonna lose control
I'm gonna lose control, yeah
I'm gonna lose control
I'm gonna lose control, yeah
Om
- Oh.
- Welcome, welcome
Okay
Thank you
Om...
Ooh, great. We get to lie down.
Yes, please.
Huh.
Um, will you...
will you two lie
on either side of me?
- Why?
- I-I can't use that bucket
in front of anyone but you two.
You know? You know?
All right.
Okay.
Okay,
humans.
That's... funny.
My name is Mercury.
And we are here this evening
with one simple purpose.
To open our mind's eye...
...to the universe's
life force energy.
So... let's turn our awareness
to the cosmos.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath in.
And ask yourself:
What would you like
the universe to show you?
Okay.
Now open your eyes
and write down your intentions.
It's not like it was
even right with Taylor
- or anyone lately.
- Do you ever think
that maybe
this "not right" thing
has more to do with you?
Slow, contemplative music
I do love you.
You have a really fucked-up way
of showing it, Shane.
- Psst.
- Huh?
Okay, so maybe this whole thing
wasn't really about...
work only.
No shit.
Hmm.
- I-I love her.
- You both
- are toxic together.
- Go! Go!
Drink up, everyone.
It's yummy.
Um...
Hi. Sorry.
Uh, do you have, like,
a squeeze of lemon or, um,
like, Splenda or something
that would, you know, help...
Okay.
Poof.
Hey. Sorry. Real quick.
Uh, do we just knock these back?
Well...
Cheers, queers.
Find yourselves comfortable.
Meditate on what you need
to know from the universe.
Well, here goes nothing.
What would you like the universe
to show you?
Meditate.
Are you hearing
what I'm hearing?
Oh, please don't let this
turn into a musical.
Have a nice trip
I hope you get lost
and you find yourselves
Just go with it
It will be best
If you don't fight it
Just chillax
- Don't be afraid
- Don't be afraid
- It's all in your head
- Get out of your head
You'll return much better off
than you left
So, have a nice trip
This isn't goodbye, fly high
See you on the other side
See you on the other side
You may not feel your legs
But they'll be there
- And if you see things
- See things
- That just aren't there
- Don't be scared
Follow your guide
and be self-aware
If the ride gets bumpy,
try not to be scared, no
Have a nice trip
You're arriving on time
Read the signs
See you on the other side
See you on the other side
See you on the other side
Welcome to the other side
What?
We got to look out
for the ladies today.
You think
Doris is gonna be there?
All right,
let's see where this goes.
I wonder
who's performing tonight.
Come on.
What are you waiting for, huh?
Go, go.
What's this?
Tess.
- It's Tess Van De Berg.
- Hey, fellas.
Yeah, what?
What do you got
over there, Shane?
Hot damn!
Wow. She's a looker, eh?
I got dibs. Come on, follow me.
Lively jazz music
All right, Tess, where are you?
Hey, good looking.
- Hi.
- Remember me?
Excuse me, miss.
Hey there, sailor.
I came an awful long way
to hear you sing.
Show doesn't start until eight.
But you can buy me
a drink until then.
Oh, I can do a hell of
a lot better than that.
Pick up your feet
and open your ears, boys!
Dance with me.
Don't settle down, settle up
I know
what you're doing, sailor.
Single butches,
put your hands up
I'm no ordinary sailor.
Tomorrow may not ever come
Forever young
There's enough of us
- To go around
- Hey
Your body is a playground
- Show-off.
- Skin to skin
- And mouth to mouth
- All we have is now
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
- Tess!
- Here we go
Here we go,
here we go, bottoms up
Aye, aye, Captain, all aboard
Let's make waves
and make some noise
- Hey
- Follow me, close the door
- Get what we came here for
- We run a loose ship
- All hands on deck
- Hey
Who's gonna score?
- We're taking bets
- Hey
Poker face, no regrets
No commitments
Just hot sex, yes
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Here we go, here we go,
here we go, bottoms up
Live it up
Fill your cup
Keep it light
We're just looking
for a good time
Live it up
Drink it up
Cross the line
It's gonna be a wild night
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Here we go, here we go,
here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go,
bottoms up...
Let's get out of here.
Here we go, bottoms up
Cheerful music
I guess I'm married.
I should probably be
in the kitchen.
"Premier Parade"
by Orchestra Heinz Kiessling
Honey, Finley's home!
Hi, honey, so glad you're home.
- What's that smell?
- Oh.
I got the turkey basting,
- potatoes scalloped, and...
- Oh, good.
The boss and his wife
are coming over.
I'm up for a big promotion.
- What? When are they...?
- Now!
Now? But I haven't
had time to prepare
any charming
dinner conversation.
Not to worry, honey.
I took care of it.
See, he's a bit
of a serious fella,
so I thought it'd be best
if you didn't say
- anything at all.
- What?
Nothing? But how will I...?
I told him you have laryngitis.
Laryn-what?
Mr. Lee, so nice to have you
in our home.
- Dear, what a lovely home.
- Finley.
Hello, Mister...
Like I told you,
she lost her voice,
but, boy, is she cute.
Come on in.
Okay. Oh.
Uh...
Okay, I can't, I can't
really see anything, uh...
Can we cut?
That's a cut.
It's not funny.
She doesn't know how
to land a fucking joke.
What's going on?
- What's the problem?
- She's killing me.
I had lines
that were stepped on.
I need more motivation
to walk through the door.
Let's fix that.
Okay, um, I'm sorry, uh,
but I'm just having a hard time
figuring out
why this is funny and...
- You got this, babe.
- Goddamn it.
She's giving me
nothing to work with.
I feel like
I'm on my own out there.
Okay, but I'm trying to
give you something here.
Don't worry about her.
This is your show.
You're the star.
It's all about you.
Doesn't feel that way.
Doesn't feel that way at all.
It is.
It's all about Finley.
Intriguing music
We're going again.
- Um, I, but wait, I still...
- From the top, on the bell.
Hello?
Sophie?
Shane?
Alice Pieszecki, come on down!
Want to find the one?
Then it's time to play
Name That Flaw!
Oh, Eureka, of course it's you.
This makes total sense.
I fall asleep to your show
every night.
Aw...
Well, I'd rather be tits up
in a pool, but I'm here.
You know how to play.
We show you an ex,
you tell us why
they're undatable.
All right, you ready to play?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, finding flaws is
one of my strengths.
And somehow I already knew that.
Okay, bring on the flaw.
Oh.
Too conventional.
Wanted to get married too fast.
Ew. But yes.
All right.
Oh, um...
Didn't like me enough.
Ah!
Bitch.
Oh, that's complicated.
Gigi. The answer is Gigi!
The answer is always Gigi.
Ah!
All right, last one
in this round.
Oh. Okay.
Well, I liked them, but...
Coachella.
Yes! Okay.
I know about Coachella, okay?
You know? All those.
Okay, Alice. Final round.
One more image.
Name... that... flaw!
Me?
Ooh...
What are your exes saying
about you,
- Alice?
- Um...
Why are you undatable?
I don't know.
Focus, Alice.
And remember...
...you can always
ask the audience.
Okay. Um...
Audience, what's my flaw?
You think you're better
than everyone.
Damn.
No, I don't. That's not true.
You don't rinse
your yogurt container
before you recycle it.
Sometimes I do,
just not that often.
Okay, okay, okay.
Alice...
what's it going to be?
What is your flaw?
Is it, uh...
I push people away?
Final answer?
Final answer.
That's the one!
You're a winner, baby!
Let's show her what she's won,
shall we, folks?
You've won your dream life!
And you've also won
a gorgeous home!
And...
this decadent custom furniture!
Oh, yes!
And your dream partner.
Gentle harp gliss music
Oh, my God.
Is it really you?
Who else would it be?
But you're... old.
You're old, too, Al.
Geez.
Yeah, right...
We get to grow old together.
That's part of the dream life.
I'll take it.
Whatever it is.
Do I look good, though?
Do I look okay?
You look perfect, Dana.
I can't believe this is
really happening.
Come on.
I'll give you the tour.
Welcome to our perfect life
Honey, I'm home
With a wild organic garden
I love the trophy room
and this tennis court
Ooh, come play with me?
I'll pretend that
it's good for my knees
Wait, do we have kids?
No, we have cat
Sitters 'cause
we just travel the world
With our celebrity friends
Now we're back home again,
just me and you
What should we do?
- Reorder Postmates
- Fight for the blanket
Fall asleep on our favorite show
- Proofread my emails
- Laugh at my bad jokes
Everything is perfect with you
Sing along with the wrong words
Fudging in costumes
Talking over me
And our feather pillow fights
- Dance in the ballroom
- Ignore when I call you
A perfectly imperfect
Life
Perfect life
- Ooh
- Ooh
Reorder DoorDash
Fight for the blanket
Fall asleep on our favorite show
- Proofread my emails
- Laugh at my bad jokes
Everything is perfect
With you
With you
Perfect with you
With you
Perfect with you
Dana?
Can I kiss you?
Yes.
Finley, dinner was delicious.
Aw, thank you so much.
I wish I'd married
someone who could cook.
Oh, I wish you did, too, dear.
Yeah, the potatoes were divine.
Weren't they, though?
Oh, that's my mother's reci...
My mother's recipe.
Oh, well,
you'll have to give it to me.
And then you'll
have to come over
and make it for her, too.
Well, actually, it's quite...
Oh, what was that, dear?
You, uh, wanted
some more potatoes.
Here, help yourself.
We have a delicious apple pie
prepared, don't we, dear?
Thank you, darling.
You know,
I grew up on an orchard.
Don't let the suit fool you,
I'm an everyman.
- Is that so?
- Which makes me perfect
for this opportunity
you have here.
- Really?
- Now,
and, remind me, you have a...
Please don't speak
It has been my turn for a while
Shh, don't speak
You will hear me out now
The answer's finally no
For the first time
I'm putting myself first,
first in line
Nothing that you can say
Will change my mind
I found my voice under the noise
And I made my choice,
it's all about me
It's time that I stand
For who I am
I'm my number one fan
It's all about me
And I do not care
- What you say
-Get her off set. Get her off.
Starting right now
From this day
It's all about me
So, what I was saying...
- We should go.
- No, no, no. I-I...
Don't need
no one to speak for me
That was my codependency
But now I'm independently
Being who I want
I set me free, huh
Not people-pleasing no more
Take me or leave me alone
'Cause I've been through hell
and back again
Crippled by fear of abandonment
Money ain't a thing,
been having it
But it never filled up
that emptiness
So never mind you,
got to be about me
Got mountains to move,
uproot these beliefs
That made me feel
hell a undeserving
But the truth is now
I know I am worthy
I found my voice
Under the noise
And I made my choice
It's all about me
It's time that I stand
for who I am
I'm my number one fan,
it's all about me
I don't give a damn
What you say
I am no longer
Afraid
It's all about me
It's all about me
Me
Hey
It's all about
Me
Sophie! Sophie!
Sophie! Sophie! Sophie!
Sophie! Sophie! Sophie! Sophie!
Do something...
I know sailors like you.
I'm not like the others.
Girl in every port.
Maybe in some ways,
I am like the rest of them.
That's what I thought.
Maybe I haven't settled down
on account of not finding
the right girl yet.
And you're hoping
I'm the right one, are you?
You look pretty right to me.
Don't charm me
unless you mean it.
I mean it.
I want to believe you.
You should.
Romantic music
There she is!
Where do you think
you're going, Shane?
- They found you.
- They always do.
I'll lose 'em, grab the car,
I'll meet you around back.
Be careful, sailor.
- I will.
- She's headed that way.
Get her!
You can't hide from us, Shane.
Shane! Come on!
- There's nowhere else to go.
- You can't escape.
Damn, it's higher
than I thought.
You can't hide from us.
Come on, Shane!
Whoa.
Oh, I know it's scary,
but you have to trust me.
It's the only way
we can be together forever.
What?
Sorry...
You said forever.
Yes, Shane.
Forever.
Forever's a long time.
Tonight's all that matters.
Shane.
Shane, you have to jump!
Shane.
- Shane.
- Shane.
I thought you were different.
- Was that all a lie?
- Shane.
- Shane.
- No.
It's a trap!
Well, then jump, Shane. Jump!
- Shane.
- You belong with us.
- Grab her, girl.
- Let me go. Let me go.
- Come on, Shane.
- Tess!
I was just...
I don't know why you thought
you could handle a throuple.
I mean, you're like,
you're one of the most sensitive
people I've ever known.
I am.
Is that a compliment?
Nat was nice.
Yeah, she reminds me
a lot of you.
- Obviously.
- Yeah.
Wait...
is that what you're here
to tell me?
Is that what I'm doing?
Am I trying to find you
in everybody else?
You're trying to do
a lot of that.
Gentle, wistful music
Yeah.
Huh.
That makes a lot of sense.
You were my person
Some say we only get one
Now it's all making sense
'Cause I have
the worst luck with love
They can check every box
But no one knows me like you do
So maybe I should
give up on love
Trying to fill your shoes
'Cause nobody is you
Who'll remember when I forget
And ground me
when I'm through the roof
Nobody but you
Who will know
my punch lines and lie
Nobody
But you
Nobody
'Cause nobody's you
You are my sunshine
My only lifeline
And I've waited for this day
When I could hold you
Fold into you
But I know that you can't stay
Take my heart
It's yours anyway
'Cause nobody is you
In this crazy tiny little world
Tell me who
Nobody but you
Will know my punch lines and lie
Nobody but you
In this crazy tiny little world
Tell me who
Nobody but you
Will know my punch lines and lie
- Nobody
- Nobody, nobody, nobody
But you
I want to stay here forever.
But you can't.
But I asked the universe to
show me the one and they...
They found you.
So?
So, if you're the one,
then I have to stay.
I mean...
...it's over for me out there.
I missed it.
You missed it.
But not with me.
You have to let me go.
The one is still
out there for you.
What?
Who is it? Do...
Do you know?
Of course I know.
Do they know you, too?
In a way.
Don't be cagey.
You sound like a fortune cookie.
That's because you're waking up.
What?
You're waking up, Alice.
No, I want to stay here
with you.
You can't.
You have to go.
Tess!
Oh, I knew it.
I knew you were one of them.
- No, I'm not.
- You are.
There's so much more
on the other side, Shane.
Tess, wait!
Tess!
Tess...!
What would you like
the universe to show you?
Welcome back
We hope you enjoyed your trip
- Come back soon
- Come back soon
You have arrived
Unfasten your seat belts
and walk in truth
Find the mate to your soul
Let go of your past
It's all about you, Sophie,
you're the first and not last
So take what you've learned
And leave all of your
baggage behind
You made it through
the other side
You made it
through the other side
It's all about me
You made it, you made it,
you made it
You made it, you made it
I don't want to go back
You made it, you made it,
you made it
Are we still high?
Now it's time to live your life
Oh...
Did we make it?
Oh... Oh...
- You okay?
- I don't know.
I don't know.
I was in a musical,
a '40s musical.
In a way...
...you knew her.
Shane?
What?
Oh, my God!
I'm really, really high!
- Why?
- I'm really, really high.
- Like, high!
- Are you okay?
I'm great. I'm great.
- Never better.
- Are you guys...
- Hey. Hi. Yeah. Yeah.
- Are you guys okay?
All right, um...
I'm sorry, but...
I got to go find Finley.
Yeah, I've got a lot of
things to do.
Yeah. I got to, I got to,
I got to, uh...
I got to get Tess.
Yeah. Tess.
How the hell
do I get out of here?
Just up.
Just get up.
- Look.
- What?
It's okay.
Yeah, that kissing thing
was like a...
- No, it's-it's okay. It's...
- You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
But I just want to say...
thank you for
bringing me to this.
- Yeah.
- All right, but...
just keep it in the yurt, okay?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, guess what?
- What?
- I saw Dana.
You did?
How is she?
She said the one
is still out there for me.
"You Are My Sunshine"
by Jasmine Thompson
Okay...
The other night, dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you
In my arms
When I awoke, dear
No way.
I was mistaken
- They knew her in a way...
- So I bowed
My head and I cried
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take
- My sunshine away
-You're brilliant.
You are my sunshine...
I know who it is.
I know who it is.
Okay.
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take
my sunshine away
Hey.
- Hey.
- You're back.
Uh...
I didn't know if you were
working today.
Nope.
No.
I actually took care
of something else.
Huh?
Oh, shit.
You bought the car?
I did. By myself.
And, uh...
I wanted to say I'm sorry
about the other day.
I, uh...
it was good to do it
on my own, actually.
I think it's good for us
to have some time apart.
You know? I have so much shit
I want to do for myself
and it's hard
when we're together.
We just need to make time
for ourselves
as, like, separate people,
you know?
And then for us as a couple.
But I actually think we're
getting pretty good at it.
Hey.
We'll be like life coaches
after a couple years
of this shit, all right?
Sophie?
What's wrong?
Is it...?
Are you mad at me?
No.
I can't do this anymore.
I love you,
but I am not my full self
when I'm with you, Finn.
Oh, okay...
Um, what does that mean?
It means that I twist
and turn my insides
to be the person that I think
you want me to be,
and I did it with Dani, too.
Um... Okay.
But you're not...
You're not trying to end this,
right?
Because we can do stuff.
We can figure this out.
You're looking at me
like that, but...
It's over, Finn.
It has to be.
I don't want to hurt you but
I need to be alone, okay?
Somber music
Hello, Tess?
Hello?
Tess?
Are you home?
Tess?
Hey.
Um, I promise I'll leave
if you want me to.
All right? But...
I just, I want to
say that, um...
I-I've realized something.
And this could
sound crazy, but...
Uh...
I realized that...
I've been hanging on
to this part of me
for a very long time.
And I'm scared to
let that go because...
I don't know
who I am without it.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Well, with that being said...
I'd like another chance
to get better at this.
And I...
I want to earn your trust back.
What? What?
I didn't, I didn't say that
to make you cry,
I swear, I swear. What?
My mom died.
Sentimental music
This dyke wanna go all night
Boom, boom
This dyke wanna be alone
with you...
What, what, what?
- Come here.
- No, no.
Boom, boom
Tell me, baby,
what you wanna do?
Ride it tonight
I'm picking up...
Wow, I can't believe
we're really doing this.
Go slow,
I love the way you look at me
Hand on your thigh
when I drive type of game
Tell me with your eyes
when we've reached the highway
This dyke
That's why we did
the cleanse, Soph.
To prevent that exact outcome.
Okay, 'cause I really
don't want to shit my pants.
Yeah, no, I got you.
Don't worry about it.
- Okay, good, good, good.
- Besides, it's gonna be good
to do, like, a little
team building, don't you think?
- Yeah, yeah. It's... yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, final packing question:
How many safari onesies
is too many?
N... No.
Hello?
Right there.
Hi.
That's a lot of n-naked people
on my...
velvet couch.
Get me out of here,
runnin' out of air
Runnin' out of,
get me out of here
I got no fucks to give
Get me out of here,
runnin' out of air
Runnin' out of,
get me out of here
I got no fucks to give
Don't wear white, okay.
Soph.
Uh, yeah. I'm in here.
I think I found a good one.
She looks like a real winner
on Car Max.
Heated seats or no?
What's this?
Oh, I'm...
I'm going
on that-that work retreat.
Remember? I told you.
Oh, yeah.
Alice practically bullied
all of us into going.
Is this...
Is this what I should wear?
- I just...
- I'm not sure. Um...
Yeah, it's gonna be really hot
in the desert, so...
Okay, well, this is in Reseda.
What time are you leaving?
It's gonna take, like,
20 minutes to get there, so...
Oh, well, I don't...
I-I don't think I have time
to go to Reseda before I go.
- Okay.
- Um...
But, hey, wait, um,
can they hold it for you?
They're not gonna hold it
for me.
Well, you can ask.
No, I'm not gonna ask them
to do that. Uh...
Okay, well, wait, what do you,
what do you want me to do?
Do you want me to stay
and help you buy the car?
- Because I will. If... I will.
- No. No, no.
I'll stay.
No, it's-it's fine.
Have a good trip.
Soft, somber music
I'm sorry.
I-I'm gonna clean this up.
I just,
I-I really lost track of time.
Sorry.
Okay, there's no gentle way
to say this.
You're kind of a fucking mess.
I know. I know that.
Which is why
I'm gonna go to a hotel and
I'm gonna get out of your hair.
'Cause...
I shouldn't be doing this.
- What? No.
- Yes.
No, I'm not letting you
out of my sight.
Well, I guess it looks like
you're just gonna have
to come with me.
Absolutely not.
I am not taking ayahuasca in
the desert with your coworkers.
Why? Chelsea Handler did it.
I hooked up
with one of your employees.
Oh, my God, Ivy's not gonna be
there. She moved to New York.
She got a job there.
She didn't tell you?
No.
Oh.
I'm throwing these.
If someone calls for them,
they're in the trash.
Oh, those are Bridget's.
Um, you know their names now?
Okay.
Regardless, no, Al.
- Count me out.
- You know what they say?
They say it's like ten years
of therapy but in one night.
And you could use the ten.
I mean 20, but...
All right, fine.
- Great.
- Fine. Fine.
Oh, the smell.
It's, like, thick.
Also, don't wear white.
What?
No white.
"No Stress" by CMD/CTRL
Mm, mm-mm, mm-mm
Mm, mm...
Showtime!
- It's happening
- Everybody get to know
- It's happening
- Everybody in the flow...
All right, well...
I've been having
a really cult-y year.
Thank you!
May your stay be as peaceful
as your heart.
Oh. Does that get rid
of the demons?
- Good.
- Thank you.
Thanks.
- Christ.
- What?
She got me right in the eye.
Do you want... some of this?
I'd hate to take away
from your experience.
- Oh!
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Thank you so much.
Oh, God,
I feel so fucking terrible.
- Why?
- Already?
I just got into a fight
with Finley,
and she's not returning
any of my calls.
- Huh.
- You know what,
I think maybe I should just...
- maybe I should just go.
- No.
No! No, we are here
to do team building and drugs.
You're staying.
Hey.
Do it for the drugs.
Do it for the drugs.
Okay, first of all,
thank you for coming.
You all do so much
for the show. You do.
And you put your heart
and soul into it.
All day, every day.
And I just wanted to do
something special
to say thank you,
so thank you,
thank you, thank you.
I really think this experience
is gonna make us stronger
and bring us together.
So, go, team.
Um, I will see you all
on the other side.
You holding up the tree?
No one thinks
this retreat is about work.
What else would it be about?
You.
Why would you say that?
It's obviously about my staff
and my team.
Sure.
I'm gonna lose control, yeah
I'm gonna lose control
I'm gonna lose control, yeah
I'm gonna lose control
I'm gonna lose control, yeah
Om
- Oh.
- Welcome, welcome
Okay
Thank you
Om...
Ooh, great. We get to lie down.
Yes, please.
Huh.
Um, will you...
will you two lie
on either side of me?
- Why?
- I-I can't use that bucket
in front of anyone but you two.
You know? You know?
All right.
Okay.
Okay,
humans.
That's... funny.
My name is Mercury.
And we are here this evening
with one simple purpose.
To open our mind's eye...
...to the universe's
life force energy.
So... let's turn our awareness
to the cosmos.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath in.
And ask yourself:
What would you like
the universe to show you?
Okay.
Now open your eyes
and write down your intentions.
It's not like it was
even right with Taylor
- or anyone lately.
- Do you ever think
that maybe
this "not right" thing
has more to do with you?
Slow, contemplative music
I do love you.
You have a really fucked-up way
of showing it, Shane.
- Psst.
- Huh?
Okay, so maybe this whole thing
wasn't really about...
work only.
No shit.
Hmm.
- I-I love her.
- You both
- are toxic together.
- Go! Go!
Drink up, everyone.
It's yummy.
Um...
Hi. Sorry.
Uh, do you have, like,
a squeeze of lemon or, um,
like, Splenda or something
that would, you know, help...
Okay.
Poof.
Hey. Sorry. Real quick.
Uh, do we just knock these back?
Well...
Cheers, queers.
Find yourselves comfortable.
Meditate on what you need
to know from the universe.
Well, here goes nothing.
What would you like the universe
to show you?
Meditate.
Are you hearing
what I'm hearing?
Oh, please don't let this
turn into a musical.
Have a nice trip
I hope you get lost
and you find yourselves
Just go with it
It will be best
If you don't fight it
Just chillax
- Don't be afraid
- Don't be afraid
- It's all in your head
- Get out of your head
You'll return much better off
than you left
So, have a nice trip
This isn't goodbye, fly high
See you on the other side
See you on the other side
You may not feel your legs
But they'll be there
- And if you see things
- See things
- That just aren't there
- Don't be scared
Follow your guide
and be self-aware
If the ride gets bumpy,
try not to be scared, no
Have a nice trip
You're arriving on time
Read the signs
See you on the other side
See you on the other side
See you on the other side
Welcome to the other side
What?
We got to look out
for the ladies today.
You think
Doris is gonna be there?
All right,
let's see where this goes.
I wonder
who's performing tonight.
Come on.
What are you waiting for, huh?
Go, go.
What's this?
Tess.
- It's Tess Van De Berg.
- Hey, fellas.
Yeah, what?
What do you got
over there, Shane?
Hot damn!
Wow. She's a looker, eh?
I got dibs. Come on, follow me.
Lively jazz music
All right, Tess, where are you?
Hey, good looking.
- Hi.
- Remember me?
Excuse me, miss.
Hey there, sailor.
I came an awful long way
to hear you sing.
Show doesn't start until eight.
But you can buy me
a drink until then.
Oh, I can do a hell of
a lot better than that.
Pick up your feet
and open your ears, boys!
Dance with me.
Don't settle down, settle up
I know
what you're doing, sailor.
Single butches,
put your hands up
I'm no ordinary sailor.
Tomorrow may not ever come
Forever young
There's enough of us
- To go around
- Hey
Your body is a playground
- Show-off.
- Skin to skin
- And mouth to mouth
- All we have is now
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
- Tess!
- Here we go
Here we go,
here we go, bottoms up
Aye, aye, Captain, all aboard
Let's make waves
and make some noise
- Hey
- Follow me, close the door
- Get what we came here for
- We run a loose ship
- All hands on deck
- Hey
Who's gonna score?
- We're taking bets
- Hey
Poker face, no regrets
No commitments
Just hot sex, yes
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Here we go, here we go,
here we go, bottoms up
Live it up
Fill your cup
Keep it light
We're just looking
for a good time
Live it up
Drink it up
Cross the line
It's gonna be a wild night
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Here we go, here we go,
here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go, bottoms up
Yo-oh-oh, here we go,
bottoms up...
Let's get out of here.
Here we go, bottoms up
Cheerful music
I guess I'm married.
I should probably be
in the kitchen.
"Premier Parade"
by Orchestra Heinz Kiessling
Honey, Finley's home!
Hi, honey, so glad you're home.
- What's that smell?
- Oh.
I got the turkey basting,
- potatoes scalloped, and...
- Oh, good.
The boss and his wife
are coming over.
I'm up for a big promotion.
- What? When are they...?
- Now!
Now? But I haven't
had time to prepare
any charming
dinner conversation.
Not to worry, honey.
I took care of it.
See, he's a bit
of a serious fella,
so I thought it'd be best
if you didn't say
- anything at all.
- What?
Nothing? But how will I...?
I told him you have laryngitis.
Laryn-what?
Mr. Lee, so nice to have you
in our home.
- Dear, what a lovely home.
- Finley.
Hello, Mister...
Like I told you,
she lost her voice,
but, boy, is she cute.
Come on in.
Okay. Oh.
Uh...
Okay, I can't, I can't
really see anything, uh...
Can we cut?
That's a cut.
It's not funny.
She doesn't know how
to land a fucking joke.
What's going on?
- What's the problem?
- She's killing me.
I had lines
that were stepped on.
I need more motivation
to walk through the door.
Let's fix that.
Okay, um, I'm sorry, uh,
but I'm just having a hard time
figuring out
why this is funny and...
- You got this, babe.
- Goddamn it.
She's giving me
nothing to work with.
I feel like
I'm on my own out there.
Okay, but I'm trying to
give you something here.
Don't worry about her.
This is your show.
You're the star.
It's all about you.
Doesn't feel that way.
Doesn't feel that way at all.
It is.
It's all about Finley.
Intriguing music
We're going again.
- Um, I, but wait, I still...
- From the top, on the bell.
Hello?
Sophie?
Shane?
Alice Pieszecki, come on down!
Want to find the one?
Then it's time to play
Name That Flaw!
Oh, Eureka, of course it's you.
This makes total sense.
I fall asleep to your show
every night.
Aw...
Well, I'd rather be tits up
in a pool, but I'm here.
You know how to play.
We show you an ex,
you tell us why
they're undatable.
All right, you ready to play?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, finding flaws is
one of my strengths.
And somehow I already knew that.
Okay, bring on the flaw.
Oh.
Too conventional.
Wanted to get married too fast.
Ew. But yes.
All right.
Oh, um...
Didn't like me enough.
Ah!
Bitch.
Oh, that's complicated.
Gigi. The answer is Gigi!
The answer is always Gigi.
Ah!
All right, last one
in this round.
Oh. Okay.
Well, I liked them, but...
Coachella.
Yes! Okay.
I know about Coachella, okay?
You know? All those.
Okay, Alice. Final round.
One more image.
Name... that... flaw!
Me?
Ooh...
What are your exes saying
about you,
- Alice?
- Um...
Why are you undatable?
I don't know.
Focus, Alice.
And remember...
...you can always
ask the audience.
Okay. Um...
Audience, what's my flaw?
You think you're better
than everyone.
Damn.
No, I don't. That's not true.
You don't rinse
your yogurt container
before you recycle it.
Sometimes I do,
just not that often.
Okay, okay, okay.
Alice...
what's it going to be?
What is your flaw?
Is it, uh...
I push people away?
Final answer?
Final answer.
That's the one!
You're a winner, baby!
Let's show her what she's won,
shall we, folks?
You've won your dream life!
And you've also won
a gorgeous home!
And...
this decadent custom furniture!
Oh, yes!
And your dream partner.
Gentle harp gliss music
Oh, my God.
Is it really you?
Who else would it be?
But you're... old.
You're old, too, Al.
Geez.
Yeah, right...
We get to grow old together.
That's part of the dream life.
I'll take it.
Whatever it is.
Do I look good, though?
Do I look okay?
You look perfect, Dana.
I can't believe this is
really happening.
Come on.
I'll give you the tour.
Welcome to our perfect life
Honey, I'm home
With a wild organic garden
I love the trophy room
and this tennis court
Ooh, come play with me?
I'll pretend that
it's good for my knees
Wait, do we have kids?
No, we have cat
Sitters 'cause
we just travel the world
With our celebrity friends
Now we're back home again,
just me and you
What should we do?
- Reorder Postmates
- Fight for the blanket
Fall asleep on our favorite show
- Proofread my emails
- Laugh at my bad jokes
Everything is perfect with you
Sing along with the wrong words
Fudging in costumes
Talking over me
And our feather pillow fights
- Dance in the ballroom
- Ignore when I call you
A perfectly imperfect
Life
Perfect life
- Ooh
- Ooh
Reorder DoorDash
Fight for the blanket
Fall asleep on our favorite show
- Proofread my emails
- Laugh at my bad jokes
Everything is perfect
With you
With you
Perfect with you
With you
Perfect with you
Dana?
Can I kiss you?
Yes.
Finley, dinner was delicious.
Aw, thank you so much.
I wish I'd married
someone who could cook.
Oh, I wish you did, too, dear.
Yeah, the potatoes were divine.
Weren't they, though?
Oh, that's my mother's reci...
My mother's recipe.
Oh, well,
you'll have to give it to me.
And then you'll
have to come over
and make it for her, too.
Well, actually, it's quite...
Oh, what was that, dear?
You, uh, wanted
some more potatoes.
Here, help yourself.
We have a delicious apple pie
prepared, don't we, dear?
Thank you, darling.
You know,
I grew up on an orchard.
Don't let the suit fool you,
I'm an everyman.
- Is that so?
- Which makes me perfect
for this opportunity
you have here.
- Really?
- Now,
and, remind me, you have a...
Please don't speak
It has been my turn for a while
Shh, don't speak
You will hear me out now
The answer's finally no
For the first time
I'm putting myself first,
first in line
Nothing that you can say
Will change my mind
I found my voice under the noise
And I made my choice,
it's all about me
It's time that I stand
For who I am
I'm my number one fan
It's all about me
And I do not care
- What you say
-Get her off set. Get her off.
Starting right now
From this day
It's all about me
So, what I was saying...
- We should go.
- No, no, no. I-I...
Don't need
no one to speak for me
That was my codependency
But now I'm independently
Being who I want
I set me free, huh
Not people-pleasing no more
Take me or leave me alone
'Cause I've been through hell
and back again
Crippled by fear of abandonment
Money ain't a thing,
been having it
But it never filled up
that emptiness
So never mind you,
got to be about me
Got mountains to move,
uproot these beliefs
That made me feel
hell a undeserving
But the truth is now
I know I am worthy
I found my voice
Under the noise
And I made my choice
It's all about me
It's time that I stand
for who I am
I'm my number one fan,
it's all about me
I don't give a damn
What you say
I am no longer
Afraid
It's all about me
It's all about me
Me
Hey
It's all about
Me
Sophie! Sophie!
Sophie! Sophie! Sophie!
Sophie! Sophie! Sophie! Sophie!
Do something...
I know sailors like you.
I'm not like the others.
Girl in every port.
Maybe in some ways,
I am like the rest of them.
That's what I thought.
Maybe I haven't settled down
on account of not finding
the right girl yet.
And you're hoping
I'm the right one, are you?
You look pretty right to me.
Don't charm me
unless you mean it.
I mean it.
I want to believe you.
You should.
Romantic music
There she is!
Where do you think
you're going, Shane?
- They found you.
- They always do.
I'll lose 'em, grab the car,
I'll meet you around back.
Be careful, sailor.
- I will.
- She's headed that way.
Get her!
You can't hide from us, Shane.
Shane! Come on!
- There's nowhere else to go.
- You can't escape.
Damn, it's higher
than I thought.
You can't hide from us.
Come on, Shane!
Whoa.
Oh, I know it's scary,
but you have to trust me.
It's the only way
we can be together forever.
What?
Sorry...
You said forever.
Yes, Shane.
Forever.
Forever's a long time.
Tonight's all that matters.
Shane.
Shane, you have to jump!
Shane.
- Shane.
- Shane.
I thought you were different.
- Was that all a lie?
- Shane.
- Shane.
- No.
It's a trap!
Well, then jump, Shane. Jump!
- Shane.
- You belong with us.
- Grab her, girl.
- Let me go. Let me go.
- Come on, Shane.
- Tess!
I was just...
I don't know why you thought
you could handle a throuple.
I mean, you're like,
you're one of the most sensitive
people I've ever known.
I am.
Is that a compliment?
Nat was nice.
Yeah, she reminds me
a lot of you.
- Obviously.
- Yeah.
Wait...
is that what you're here
to tell me?
Is that what I'm doing?
Am I trying to find you
in everybody else?
You're trying to do
a lot of that.
Gentle, wistful music
Yeah.
Huh.
That makes a lot of sense.
You were my person
Some say we only get one
Now it's all making sense
'Cause I have
the worst luck with love
They can check every box
But no one knows me like you do
So maybe I should
give up on love
Trying to fill your shoes
'Cause nobody is you
Who'll remember when I forget
And ground me
when I'm through the roof
Nobody but you
Who will know
my punch lines and lie
Nobody
But you
Nobody
'Cause nobody's you
You are my sunshine
My only lifeline
And I've waited for this day
When I could hold you
Fold into you
But I know that you can't stay
Take my heart
It's yours anyway
'Cause nobody is you
In this crazy tiny little world
Tell me who
Nobody but you
Will know my punch lines and lie
Nobody but you
In this crazy tiny little world
Tell me who
Nobody but you
Will know my punch lines and lie
- Nobody
- Nobody, nobody, nobody
But you
I want to stay here forever.
But you can't.
But I asked the universe to
show me the one and they...
They found you.
So?
So, if you're the one,
then I have to stay.
I mean...
...it's over for me out there.
I missed it.
You missed it.
But not with me.
You have to let me go.
The one is still
out there for you.
What?
Who is it? Do...
Do you know?
Of course I know.
Do they know you, too?
In a way.
Don't be cagey.
You sound like a fortune cookie.
That's because you're waking up.
What?
You're waking up, Alice.
No, I want to stay here
with you.
You can't.
You have to go.
Tess!
Oh, I knew it.
I knew you were one of them.
- No, I'm not.
- You are.
There's so much more
on the other side, Shane.
Tess, wait!
Tess!
Tess...!
What would you like
the universe to show you?
Welcome back
We hope you enjoyed your trip
- Come back soon
- Come back soon
You have arrived
Unfasten your seat belts
and walk in truth
Find the mate to your soul
Let go of your past
It's all about you, Sophie,
you're the first and not last
So take what you've learned
And leave all of your
baggage behind
You made it through
the other side
You made it
through the other side
It's all about me
You made it, you made it,
you made it
You made it, you made it
I don't want to go back
You made it, you made it,
you made it
Are we still high?
Now it's time to live your life
Oh...
Did we make it?
Oh... Oh...
- You okay?
- I don't know.
I don't know.
I was in a musical,
a '40s musical.
In a way...
...you knew her.
Shane?
What?
Oh, my God!
I'm really, really high!
- Why?
- I'm really, really high.
- Like, high!
- Are you okay?
I'm great. I'm great.
- Never better.
- Are you guys...
- Hey. Hi. Yeah. Yeah.
- Are you guys okay?
All right, um...
I'm sorry, but...
I got to go find Finley.
Yeah, I've got a lot of
things to do.
Yeah. I got to, I got to,
I got to, uh...
I got to get Tess.
Yeah. Tess.
How the hell
do I get out of here?
Just up.
Just get up.
- Look.
- What?
It's okay.
Yeah, that kissing thing
was like a...
- No, it's-it's okay. It's...
- You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
But I just want to say...
thank you for
bringing me to this.
- Yeah.
- All right, but...
just keep it in the yurt, okay?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, guess what?
- What?
- I saw Dana.
You did?
How is she?
She said the one
is still out there for me.
"You Are My Sunshine"
by Jasmine Thompson
Okay...
The other night, dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you
In my arms
When I awoke, dear
No way.
I was mistaken
- They knew her in a way...
- So I bowed
My head and I cried
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take
- My sunshine away
-You're brilliant.
You are my sunshine...
I know who it is.
I know who it is.
Okay.
You make me happy
When skies are gray
You'll never know, dear
How much I love you
Please don't take
my sunshine away
Hey.
- Hey.
- You're back.
Uh...
I didn't know if you were
working today.
Nope.
No.
I actually took care
of something else.
Huh?
Oh, shit.
You bought the car?
I did. By myself.
And, uh...
I wanted to say I'm sorry
about the other day.
I, uh...
it was good to do it
on my own, actually.
I think it's good for us
to have some time apart.
You know? I have so much shit
I want to do for myself
and it's hard
when we're together.
We just need to make time
for ourselves
as, like, separate people,
you know?
And then for us as a couple.
But I actually think we're
getting pretty good at it.
Hey.
We'll be like life coaches
after a couple years
of this shit, all right?
Sophie?
What's wrong?
Is it...?
Are you mad at me?
No.
I can't do this anymore.
I love you,
but I am not my full self
when I'm with you, Finn.
Oh, okay...
Um, what does that mean?
It means that I twist
and turn my insides
to be the person that I think
you want me to be,
and I did it with Dani, too.
Um... Okay.
But you're not...
You're not trying to end this,
right?
Because we can do stuff.
We can figure this out.
You're looking at me
like that, but...
It's over, Finn.
It has to be.
I don't want to hurt you but
I need to be alone, okay?
Somber music
Hello, Tess?
Hello?
Tess?
Are you home?
Tess?
Hey.
Um, I promise I'll leave
if you want me to.
All right? But...
I just, I want to
say that, um...
I-I've realized something.
And this could
sound crazy, but...
Uh...
I realized that...
I've been hanging on
to this part of me
for a very long time.
And I'm scared to
let that go because...
I don't know
who I am without it.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Well, with that being said...
I'd like another chance
to get better at this.
And I...
I want to earn your trust back.
What? What?
I didn't, I didn't say that
to make you cry,
I swear, I swear. What?
My mom died.
Sentimental music