The L Word (2004–2009): Season 4, Episode 9 - Lacy Lilting Lyrics - full transcript

PREVIOUSLY ON THE L WORD...

FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!
GODDAMN YOU!

HE WAS LYING AND CHEATING.

PAPI, COME ON, GET
ME OUT OF HERE.

DID WE...

I COULD NEVER TAKE
ADVANTAGE OF A LADY

IN A COMPROMISED SITUATION.

SHAY? WHAT'S WRONG?

DAD!

I'D LIKE TO WORK WITH YOU, MAX.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE MONEY.



THIS IS GRACE, THE NEW INTERN.

HEY, GRACE, IT'S SO
NICE TO MEET YOU.

I LIKE YOUR T-SHIRT.

"KILL ONE AND IT'S MURDER,

KILL THOUSANDS AND
IT'S FOREIGN POLICY."

OH, FUCK...

DO YOU THINK I
WANT TO KILL PEOPLE?

THEN WHY ARE YOU THERE?

THE QUESTION IS WHY
THE FUCK AM I HERE?

BECAUSE WE WANT
TO FUCK EACH OTHER!

I GET JEALOUS. I
DO. I GET JEALOUS.

I'M JUST NOT AS EVOLVED AS YOU.

WHAT?

I HEAR YOU'RE BUYING THE RIGHTS
TO JENNY'S NEW YORKER PIECE.



IT'S THE HOTTEST
PROPERTY IN TOWN.

I HAVE TO KISS HER AS,

AND ALL I REALLY WANT TO DO

IS WRING HER NECK.

MY AGENTS ARE HERE. TINA...

YOU SHOULD GO TALK TO
THEM IF YOU WANT TO DO THIS.

IT'S INCREDIBLE.

[DRUM ROLL]

[♪♪]

LOVELY, LISSOME LADIES,

LECHEROUS, LEERING LOTHARIOS,

LOVE IS IN THE AIR.

PERHAPS NOT A LOVE

WITH WHICH YOU ARE FAMILIAR,

BUT THIS IS A LOVE

THAT WILL OPEN YOUR MINDS,

TOUCH YOUR HEARTS,

ALTER YOUR WORLDS.

♪ L'AMOUR, MES CHERS
ET MES CHERIES ♪

♪ L'AMOUR, L'AMOUR, L'AMOUR... ♪

LES JEUNES FILLES...

LEZ GIRLS.

[♪♪]

♪ GIRLS IN TIGHT DRESSES
WHO DRAG WITH MUSTACHES ♪

♪ CHICKS DRIVING FAST
INGENUES WITH LONG LASHES ♪

♪ WOMEN WHO LONG, LOVE,
LUST WOMEN WHO GIVE ♪

♪ THIS IS THE WAY IT'S
THE WAY THAT WE LIVE ♪

♪ TALKING, LAUGHING
LOVING, BREATHING ♪

♪ FIGHTING, FUCKING
CRYING, DRINKING ♪

♪ WRITING, WINNING
LOSING, CHEATING ♪

♪ KISSING, THINKING, DREAMING ♪

♪ THIS IS THE WAY... ♪

♪ IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE ♪

♪ IT'S THE WAY THAT WE LIVE ♪

♪ AND LOVE ♪

HE HAS THREE BIG HOLLYWOOD HITS.

BLUE CRUSH, INTO THE BLUE...

HE'S FANTASTIC...

ISN'T INTO THE BLUE, LIKE,

ABOUT SOMEBODY SHOWING THEIR ASS

ON A BEACH OR SOMETHING?

WHAT? NO.

DID YOU SEE CRAZY/BEAUTIFUL?

NO.

KIRSTEN DUNST, SHE'S
PHENOMENAL IN IT.

SO?

THAT'S A FANTASTIC MOVIE.

WELL, DOES THAT
MAKE HIM QUALIFIED

TO DIRECT MY MOVIE?

HE'S EXTREMELY QUALIFIED.

WE'D BE LUCKY TO HAVE HIM...

OKAY, I DON'T WANT
TO FEEL SHUSHED

IN THIS PROCESS.

I WANT TO MAKE SURE
THAT MY VOICE IS HEARD.

OKAY, COME ON.

HEY...

HI.

I MEAN, I JUST LOVE
EXPLORING WORLDS,

AND CULTURES, AND SUBCULTURES,

AND I THINK YOU
DID AN AMAZING JOB

OF BRINGING THIS WORLD TO LIFE.

IT JUST FELT REALLY
VIVID AND REAL,

AND, YOU KNOW, JUST...

WELL, I APPRECIATE IT.

I'M TOLD I'M A VISUAL WRITER.

YOU'RE VERY VISUAL.

AND YOUR FILMS ARE SO VISUAL.

THE WRITING'S VERY VISUAL,

AND, YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING,

WOULD IT BE INTERESTING
AT ALL IF WE OPENED THE FILM

WITH, UM...

WITH CLOSE-UPS,

WITH THIS SORT OF
SERIES OF MACRO SHOTS.

REALLY TIGHT SHOTS.

EXTREME...

WE DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT IT IS WE'RE SEEING AT FIRST,

AND THEN WE REALIZE

THAT IT'S... IT'S, UM...

IT'S JESSIE? YEAH.

AND KARINA... KARINA...

AND THEY'RE FUCKING, RIGHT,

BUT WE'VE NEVER
SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW

WHAT... PIECES.

NOT EVEN LIKE, BODIES... BODIES.

LITERALLY, SO CLOSE, JUST SKIN.

IT'S TACTILE. WE'RE FEELING IT.

THAT'S SO VISUAL.

AND THEN WE WOULD FLASH BACK

TO WHEN JESSIE
FIRST ARRIVES IN L.A.,

SO WE WOULD BE NON-LINEAR.

I JUST THINK THE WHOLE
PIECE SHOULD BE...

NO THANKS,

BUT THIS...

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW

THAT JESSIE AND
KARINA ARE TOGETHER,

BECAUSE IT'S GOING TO RUIN

THE SUSPENSE OF THE FILM.

SOME OF IT WOULD BE LINEAR.

I MEAN, SOME OF
THE STORYTELLING.

SOME, BUT I DON'T...

I'M JUST THINKING
VISUALLY RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE THAT'S
WHERE MY HEAD IS AT.

AGAIN, JUST THINKING OUT LOUD.

WOULD IT BE INTERESTING IF
THEY WERE REALLY HAVING SEX?

WHAT? WHAT?

[LAUGHS AWKWARDLY]

IN REAL LIFE?

YOU'D BE SURPRISED

HOW MANY ACTORS WOULD
LOVE THE OPPORTUNITY

TO REALLY... TO
REALLY GO FOR IT.

YOU KNOW, TO NOT FAKE IT.

TO JUST BE RAW AND REAL, AND...

ISN'T THAT PORNOGRAPHY?

WHY?

PORNOGRAPHY IS
WHEN THERE'S NO STORY.

THIS HAS A GREAT STORY.

I JUST AM TRYING TO FIND A WAY

TO MAKE IT DIFFERENT,

TO MAKE IT STAND OUT.

I THINK THE MPAA WOULD ALLOW US

TO GET AWAY WITH IT

BECAUSE THERE'S
NO PENETRATION...

WELL, THERE'S PENETRATION,
BUT THERE'S NO...

YOU KNOW, THERE'S
NO CONSUMMATION.

I MEAN, NO...

UM, INSEMINATION,
NO FORNICATION.

EW! WHAT?

♪ I JUST DROPPED YOU
OFF ON YOUR BLOCK ♪

♪ YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ♪

♪ YOU DON'T WANT
TO NOT TALK... ♪

♪ YOU WERE EASY LIKE EASY ♪

♪ HARD LIKE HARD ♪

♪ I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
TAKEN IT THIS FAR ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE
JUST SORT OF MEAN ♪

♪ ALL CAUGHT UP IN SOME SCENE ♪

♪ AND I HAD THIS
TRANSLUCENT DREAM... ♪

[♪♪]

♪ THAT YOU COULD DROP IT... ♪

AMY.

IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

♪ AS EASY AS YOU
DROPPED YOUR DRAWERS ♪

♪ ON THE OTHER SIDE OF MY DOOR ♪

♪ I KNEW I COULD UNSTONE YOU ♪

♪ BUT WHAT FOR? ♪

HEY...

WHAT'S UP?

WANT TO GO GET SOME COFFEE?

UM... I CAN'T.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF WORK TO DO

BEFORE THE FACULTY MEETING,

BUT I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

HI, KIT.

WHAT THE FUCK

IS HE DOING IN HERE?

HE'S, UM, HELPING OUT,

KEEPING THINGS TOGETHER
WITH THE VENDORS, AND...

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

[SIGHS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

YEAH?

WOULD YOU JUST GO AWAY?

STOP BRINGING THEM FLOWERS.

IT'S NOT GOING TO...

HEY, PAPI...

WELL, DAMN, LOOKS LIKE
SOMEONE BEAT ME TO IT.

NO ONE BEAT YOU TO ANYTHING.

[SIGHS]

HERE YOU GO.

I HAD TO, YOU KNOW, THANK YOU

FOR LETTING ME TAKE YOU
DANCING THE OTHER NIGHT.

[CHUCKLES]

THANK YOU.

YOU SHOWED ME RESPECT, YOU KNOW,

AND THAT REALLY MEANS
THE WORLD TO ME RIGHT NOW.

WELL, IT WAS AN
HONOR AND A PRIVILEGE,

AND, UH...

MAYBE WE CAN DO IT
AGAIN SOMETIME SOON

UNDER LESS... COMPROMISING
CIRCUMSTANCES.

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

YEAH, WELL, I DON'T
THINK I'M GOING TO BE

ANY LESS COMPROMISED
ANY TIME SOON.

THEN, BABY, I'LL WAIT FOR YOU.

BECAUSE THEN I CAN SHOW YOU

THAT YOU'LL NEVER
NEED A MAN EVER AGAIN.

YOU KNOW PAPI CAN
ROCK YOUR WORLD,

RIGHT?

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

WHEN YOU GOING TO STOP THAT?

STOP WHAT?

THAT PAPI...

YOU KNOW, THING YOU DO.

YOU KNOW, THE OTHER NIGHT,

I SAW A DIFFERENT SIDE OF PAPI,

A SIDE THAT WAS...

DEEPER AND WARMER.

[SIGHS]

YOU KNOW, NOT
THAT PAPI PLAYA THING

YOU DO TO DEATH.

YOU KNOW, IF THERE WAS A PAPI

THAT I'D BE ATTRACTED TO,

THAT WOULD BE THE PAPI
THAT WOULD ROCK MY WORLD.

[SLOWLY WALKS AWAY]

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

♪ HALF-ASLEEP I DREAMED
THAT YOU WERE HALF-MINE ♪

♪ HALF-AWAKE I DREAMED
THAT YOU WERE HALF-DIVINE... ♪

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I WAS WATCHING YOU SLEEP.

YOU WERE HAVING QUITE
THE LITTLE SEX DREAM.

NO, I WASN'T.

YOU WERE. YOU WERE, LIKE...

[GRUNTING SOFTLY]

YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT.

I'M NOT.

THEN WHO'S LISA?

WHAT?

YOU WERE SAYING HER NAME.

LISA.

NO, I WASN'T.

IS SHE AN EX?

WAS SHE YOUR GIRLFRIEND?

NO.

SHE WAS, UM...

SOMEONE THAT I
SERVED IN IRAQ WITH.

OH.

A STRAIGHT GIRL

WITH A HUSBAND AND A CHILD.

YOU WORRIED?

NO.

[APARTMENT DOOR OPENS]

HOLA, CHICA!

HELENA?

IS THAT YOU?

YEAH.

GET IN HERE. WHERE
HAVE YOU BEEN?

[LAUGHS]

HI! OH! OH, I'M SORRY.

IT'S FINE. COME IN.

YOU SURE?

TELL US ABOUT YOUR
TRIP. I WANT TO HEAR.

WELL...

WE WENT TO NEW YORK

AND DROPPED OFF MY
CHILDREN WITH WINNIE,

AND THEN WE FLEW
STRAIGHT ON TO MALLORCA.

WE STAYED AT THIS
MOST AMAZING VILLA

OVERLOOKING THE BAY OF PALMA.

OH, MY GOD,

AND THEN, THERE
WAS THIS POKER GAME...

YOU FLEW ALL THAT
WAY TO PLAY POKER?

IT'S SO, LIKE, UNHEALTHY,

AND UNSTABLE, AND...

WHAT ARE YOU, MY MOTHER NOW?

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF I WAS, I WOULD PROBABLY
DISINHERIT YOU AS WELL,

SO...

IN WHICH CASE, ALICE,
I WOULD HAVE TO FIND

AN ALTERNATIVE SOURCE OF INCOME,

SO I WOULD GO WITH CATHERINE

TO MALLORCA

TO PLAY POKER...

AND WIN.

YOU WON?

ONLY $150,000.

[GASPS]

[LAUGHS]

OH, MY GOD! WOW...

I SHOULD PLAY POKER.

SO THIS, UM, AGREEMENT

THAT YOU HAVE WITH
CATHERINE, IS IT OFFICIAL?

I MEAN, WHEN YOU WIN,
DO YOU SPLIT IT 50/50?

YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.

PRETTY MUCH?

YEAH, WE... YOU KNOW,

WE HAVE AN AGREEMENT.

IT'S FINE, ALICE, IT'S FINE.

IT'S HOW THEY DO IT.

TASH! ALICE!

IS THAT PAPI?

SOUNDS LIKE IT.

PAPI!

RING THE BUZZER!

WHOO!

WHERE'S YOUR FATHER STAYING?

SOME SHITHOLE IN HOLLYWOOD.

AND HE DIDN'T TELL
YOU WHY HE WAS HERE?

I MEAN...

HE CLEARLY WANTS SOMETHING.

MOSTLY, HE...

TALKED ABOUT CARLA

AND TRYING TO GET
HER INTO A HOSPITAL.

TRYING TO?

IS SHE AN ADDICT OR SOMETHING?

I DON'T KNOW IF
SHE IS, BUT HE WAS.

[CAR HORN HONKS]

[KIDS WHOOP AND SPLASH]

HERE WE GO.

DO YOU WANT ME TO COME WITH YOU?

NO, NO, JUST...

KEEP AN EYE ON THEM.

MOM, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!

WHOO-HOO!

THAT'S EXCELLENT, HONEY!

[CHUCKLES]

HEY...

I HAD TO JUST COME
BY AND MAKE SURE

Y'ALL WEREN'T GOING
BLIND FROM TOO MUCH SEX.

OKAY, LISTEN,

I DON'T WANT TO
LECTURE ANYMORE, OKAY?

I JUST THINK "CATHERINE AND I

ARE MAKING $150,000
TOGETHER" IS GREAT,

BUT WHERE IS YOUR SHARE?

ALICE, PLEASE,

I'M NOT AN IDIOT.

WE HAVE A BUSINESS ARRANGEMENT.

OKAY, I JUST THINK YOU SHOULD
THINK ABOUT IT FOR A SECOND.

YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT
THINKING, MAN, YOU KNOW?

THAT'S JUST WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN YOU'RE SPRUNG.

I'M NOT SPRUNG!

YOU ARE A LITTLE BIT...

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS

WHEN YOUR HEART
DOES WHAT IT WANTS TO,

WHEN YOU'RE WHIPPED.

[LAUGHING]

WHAT?

SHE'S INTO SOMEBODY.

I'M ALWAYS INTO SOMEBODY.
IT'S NOT EVEN LIKE THAT...

HOW DO YOU KNOW?
SHE'S GOT THE LOOK.

SHUT THE FUCK UP, MAN.

THERE'S NO LOOK.

SEE, NOW, EVERY
ONCE IN A BLUE MOON...

YOU DON'T KNOW
THIS ABOUT HER, BUT...

SHE FALLS FOR SOMEBODY,

[GIGGLING]: AND
SHE GETS THAT LOOK.

LOOK AT HER.

LOOK, ALL SWEET AND CONFUSED.

WELL, WHO'S THE GIRL?

THERE'S NO ONE!

OKAY, THERE COULD...

POSSIBLY BE SOMEBODY,

BUT IT'S NOT EVEN
LIKE THAT, MAN.

SHE, LIKE, ACTUALLY GETS ME.

SHE MAKES ME WANT TO, LIKE,

CHANGE MY WAYS
AND SHIT, YOU KNOW?

I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.

[LAUGHING] [DOORBELL CHIMES]

OH, MY GOD.

WHAT THE FRICKIN' FRAK?

OKAY, YOU...

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET
AWAY WITHOUT TELLING ME,

AND I AM NOT DONE
WITH YOU, MISSY.

[DOORBELL CHIMING]

MAN, FUCK YOU...

Y'ALL ARE BOTH
SPRUNG, IF YOU ASK ME.

[LAUGHING]

HI, ALICE.

NICE PLACE YOU'VE GOT HERE.

THANKS.

NICE LIFE.

YOU GOT ROOMMATES?

YUP.

SO, WHERE'S MY BOY?

HE'S SWIMMING NEXT DOOR.

TIME TO GET OUT?

WHO'S THAT?

SHE'S A FRIEND OF MINE.

YOU ARE A McCUTCHEON FOR SURE.

WHAT THE HELL'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

WELL, WE'RE
SURVIVORS, YOU AND ME.

WHEN WE FALL OFF THE
WAGON, WE FALL REALLY HARD,

BUT WE BOUNCE BACK,

AND WE ALWAYS FIND A PRETTY GIRL

TO HELP PUT OUR
SHIT BACK TOGETHER.

FUCK YOU.

AH, SHANE,

I KNOW CARLA DUMPED A HUGE
LOAD OF SHIT ON YOU, HONEY, BUT...

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU DON'T GET IT.

I'M NOTHING LIKE YOU.

AND HOW DARE YOU...

YOU COME INTO MY
HOUSE, AND YOU SIT THERE,

AND YOU BUILD YOURSELF UP,

BECAUSE YOU'RE A PATHETIC FUCK.

I DIDN'T COME HERE

TO ARGUE WITH YOU, SHANE.

THEN WHY DID YOU COME HERE?

I'M GOING BACK TO
OREGON THIS AFTERNOON,

AND I'M TAKING MY
SON HOME WITH ME.

NO...

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

SHANE...

SHANE, I REALLY APPRECIATE
YOUR LOOKING AFTER HIM

THE WAY YOU DID.

YOU DID A GOOD JOB,

AND I'M FOREVER GRATEFUL TO YOU.

YOU CAN'T JUST
DISAPPEAR FOR MONTHS

WITH SOME FUCKING GIRL,

AND THEN YOU RIP MY FRIENDS OFF.

YOU LEFT HIM AND HE HAD NOBODY.

I LEFT HIM WITH HIS MOTHER.

OH, OH, THE MOTHER.

[LAUGHS]

YOU KNOW, WE'RE...

WE'RE GOOD HERE.

DO YOU HEAR ME? WE'RE GOOD.

HE'S GOING TO SCHOOL,
AND HE HAS FRIENDS, AND HE...

I'M HIS FATHER.

YOU ABANDONED
HIM. I'M HIS FATHER.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN
SHIT TO ME. I'M SORRY.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO, TAKE ME TO COURT?

YEAH.

YEAH. I COULD.

OH, SWEETIE, LOOK...

I'M HIS FATHER.

ANY COURT WILL LOOK
FAVORABLY ON THAT.

THEY'LL ALSO FIND

THAT I LOOKED HIGH
AND LOW FOR MY SON

AND HIS MOTHER,

THAT HOMELESS JUNKIE
LIVING OFF THE GRID,

AND IN THE END,

IF THEY DECIDE I'M NOT FIT,

WHAT DO YOU THINK'S
GOING TO HAPPEN TO SHAY?

THEY MIGHT GIVE HIM TO YOU,

BUT I DOUBT IT...

AND IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN...

[WHISPERING]: YOU HAVE A RECORD.

I WAS A KID, AND THAT
WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

SHANE IS ONE OF THE
MOST RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE

YOU WILL EVER MEET.

AND IF THE COURT
DOESN'T THINK SO,

THEN WHAT?

THEY'LL PUT SHAY
IN THE SYSTEM...

AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S
LIKE, DON'T YOU, SHANE?

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

IT'S REALLY NOT A
GOOD TIME RIGHT NOW

TO COME IN, LEONARD.

YEAH, WELL, IT
WASN'T THE BEST TIME

FOR MY WORLD TO
COME APART, THERE,

EITHER, ALICE.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

[MOUTHING WORDS]

I'M... LEONARD KROLL.

I'M PHYLLIS KROLL'S HUSBAND.

YEAH...

HI, HELENA.

LEONARD...

YOU KNOW PHYLLIS?

YEAH, I IMAGINE YOU ALL
HAVE HAD THE PRIVILEGE

OF GETTING TO KNOW PHYLLIS.

MAYBE NOT AS...

INTIMATELY AS ALICE DID.

AH...

SO, WHAT DID YOU
DO TO MY WIFE, ALICE?

WHAT DID I...

WHAT DID I DO TO YOUR WIFE?

UH...

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M GOING TO GO, ALL RIGHT?

NO, BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME

YOU TOOK CARE OF THIS SHIT.

HOW DID YOU TURN
HER INTO A LESBIAN?

LEONARD, NOBODY
TURNS SOMEBODY ELSE

INTO A LESBIAN.

SHE TOLD ME THAT YOU
WERE THE LOVE OF HER LIFE...

THAT WHAT SHE
EXPERIENCED WITH YOU

WAS UNPRECEDENTED.

SHE SAID THAT THE
SEX WAS LIFE-ALTERING.

MM, WELL...

LIFE...

ALTERING.

THIS IS WHERE IT ALL
HAPPENED, ISN'T IT?

RIGHT HERE IN THIS GODDAMN BED.

[SIGHS]

[ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE]

MARKUS BASCHUNG REPRESENTS
EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG

WITH THIS PROGRAM!

YOU MIGHT AS WELL SAY

THAT PORNOGRAPHY IS LITERATURE.

HE IS A FRAUD. OH,
PORNOGRAPHY...

HE IS SEARCHING FOR THE
CONSUMMATE EXPANSE...

LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.

MARKUS BASCHUNG'S PHOTO ESSAY

IS THE BEST WORK THAT
I'VE SEEN IN 10 YEARS...

IT IS A RAPE FANTASY.

HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT?

GIVE YOUR THIRD-WAVE
FEMINIST AGENDA

A REST, ALL RIGHT?

ART SHOULD BE JUDGED

ON ITS AESTHETIC MERITS...

YOU CANNOT DIVORCE THE
WORK FROM ITS MEANING...

[TOM INTERPRETING]:
I AGREE WITH CAROL,

TOTALLY, BECAUSE
HIS WORK IS VILE...

OKAY, I THINK THAT
WE'VE HEARD ENOUGH.

[TOM]: HE DOES NOT EVEN
DESERVE TO BE RECOGNIZED...

PRESTON, YOU RECOMMEND

MARKUS BASCHUNG. FINE.

WE'RE MOVING ON.

NEXT, WE HAVE LANI SHIPMAN.

WELL, HER WORK IS AMATEUR,

PEDANTIC...

HER INSPIRATION MIGHT AS WELL

[TOM]: LANI SHIPMAN IS A DARING,

ORIGINAL YOUNG VOICE,

AND SHE NEEDS THE MONEY.

WELL, I'M SURE THAT
THEY ALL NEED THE MONEY,

BUT WE'RE HERE TO DISCUSS
THE QUALITY OF THE WORK.

[TOM]: MARKUS BASCHUNG DRIVES

A NEW MERCEDES BENZ.

THAT'S IRRELEVANT.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU CAN'T DISCUSS

THE NATURE OF THE WORK,
THEN WE HAVE TO MOVE ON.

[TOM]: BUT EACH STUDENT'S

INDIVIDUAL FINANCIAL
STATUS IS RELEVANT...

WE'RE BEHIND.

WE CANNOT DEBATE
CRITERIA RIGHT NOW.

YOU LET THEM ARGUE ABOUT
NOTHING FOR 20 MINUTES.

IT WASN'T ABOUT NOTHING...

EXCUSE ME.

I SUGGEST THAT WE
BREAK FOR LUNCH

AND RECONVENE AT 2:30.

[GROUP MURMURING]

I WONDER IF I CAN HAVE A WORD.

BETTE...

BETTE...

WE NEED TO TALK.

DO YOU WANT TO GET
SOMETHING TO EAT?

I'M NOT HUNGRY.

IF YOU'RE MAD AT ME
ABOUT THIS MORNING,

I WISH YOU WOULD TELL ME.

I'M NOT MAD, OKAY?

I'M JUST EXHAUSTED.

COME ON.

SO WHERE DID YOU...

SO WHERE DID YOU GO LAST NIGHT?

WHAT?

SO WHERE DID YOU AND AMY...

GO?

A THAI PLACE IN VENICE.

SO SHE LIVES IN VENICE?

I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD TIME.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

EXCUSE ME.

HOLY MARY, MOTHER OF JESUS...

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

I JUST...

I JUST GOT A TEXT MESSAGE

FROM ALICE.

NO WAY.

WE'LL CONTACT A LAWYER.

HE'S FULL OF SHIT.

HE'S ALL BRAVADO.

NO, HE...

HE'S RIGHT ABOUT WHAT HE SAID.

YEAH, BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW
A JUDGE WOULD RULE IF...

WILL YOU... WILL YOU STOP?

PLEASE!

I'M JUST...

I'M NOT HAVING MY BROTHER
GO TO FOSTER CARE.

THAT'S IT.

OKAY, UM...

I'M GOING TO GET JARED,
AND WE'RE GOING TO GO.

SO IF YOU WANT TO TALK...

JUST CALL ME.

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE IT'S SOME SORT OF
MID-LIFE CRISIS OR SOMETHING.

I MEAN, BEING A LESBIAN

IS PRETTY TRENDY THESE DAYS.

YOU PROBABLY DON'T
WANT TO SAY THAT

IN A ROOM FULL OF LESBIANS.

I THINK HE MIGHT BE RIGHT.

I THINK BEING GAY IS
VERY COOL RIGHT NOW.

MAYBE IN THE YOUNGER CROWD.

I CAN GUARANTEE YOU,

PHYLLIS IS NOT
TRYING TO BE COOL.

OKAY, WELL, UM, MENOPAUSE.

I MEAN, THAT CAUSES WOMEN

TO DO CRAZY THINGS...

YOU KNOW, LEONARD,

THIS MIGHT BE REALLY HARD

FOR YOU TO ACCEPT,

BUT I THINK PHYLLIS

MIGHT BE A LESBIAN.

THAT IS INCONCEIVABLE.

YOU CANNOT BE MARRIED
23 YEARS AND HAVE CHILDREN

WITHOUT SOME INKLING...

LEONARD, IT HAPPENS.

MUCH MORE OFTEN
THAN YOU WOULD IMAGINE.

YEAH, SHE PROBABLY
KNEW FOR A LONG TIME.

SHE JUST DIDN'T WANT

TO ADMIT IT TO HERSELF.

SEE, THAT'S THAT HEART.

THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING, MAN.

THAT'S BULLSHIT.

I MEAN, IT'S ABOUT SEX.

I MEAN, I DON'T WANT
TO BE A PIG HERE,

BUT... I MEAN...

WHAT CAN YOU
LADIES DO TO A WOMAN

THAT I CAN'T DO TO A WOMAN?

NOW, WHAT IS...

EXPLAIN TO ME THE
BIG MYSTERY HERE.

UM, LEONARD, IT'S NOT ABOUT SEX.

YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, IT'S ABOUT SO
MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

THERE'S...

THINGS...

IT'S ABOUT KNOWING

WHAT A WOMAN IS THINKING,

WHAT A WOMAN IS FEELING

WHEN YOU TOUCH HER...

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ALL THAT.

SOMETIMES IT'S GREAT WHEN
PEOPLE ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT MECHANICS.

THIS IS SOMETHING
PHYLLIS IS GOING THROUGH

FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN HER WHOLE LIFE.

IT'S VERY BIG.

WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER, ALICE?

IT'S LIKE YOU CAST

SOME SORT OF SPELL ON HER.

SHE CRIED MORE

OVER YOU

THAN SHE HAS CRIED
HER WHOLE LIFE.

LEONARD, IT'S NOT ABOUT ALICE.

RIGHT, IT'S NOT ABOUT HER, MAN.

IT'S NOT.

YEAH, BUT SHE SHOULDN'T
HAVE GOTTEN INVOLVED

WOMAN. MARRIED THAT'S TRUE.

THAT'S A GIVEN.

NO, AND... AND I...

I WANT TO APOLOGIZE

TO YOU... ABOUT THAT.

THE NIGHT I MET
YOU, YOU KNOW, I...

I PUT A STOP TO IT.

SO...

BUT IT'S NOT ABOUT HER.

SEE, YOUR LADY WAS
GOING DOWN THIS ROAD

ON HER OWN.

ALICE JUST HAPPENED FIRST.

NOTHING WAS GOING TO STOP THAT.

WE MET [SOBBING]
AT A BAD TIME...

EXACTLY!

LEONARD, LEONARD, LEONARD,

LEONARD, LISTEN...

LEONARD, YOU'VE GOT
TO HOLD ON TO YOURSELF.

[SIGHS AND SNIFFLES]

OKAY, REMEMBER WHAT'S IMPORTANT.

ALL RIGHT, YOUR VALUE
IN LIFE IS NOT PHYLLIS.

YOU'RE LEONARD,

AND YOU STILL HAVE

A LOT OF GREAT
STUFF AHEAD OF YOU.

ALL RIGHT, YOU AND
PHYLLIS HAD AN AMAZING RUN.

ALL RIGHT, YOU EVEN HAVE
TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN,

BUT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT CHANGE,

AND YOU'VE GOT TO
CONFRONT IT HEAD ON.

DO THE HARDEST THING
ANYONE COULD EVER DO.

LEONARD, YOU'VE
GOT TO LET HER GO.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

OH, MY GOD...

YOU'RE FUCKIN' DEEP, MAN.

OH, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

OH, BOY.

I BELIEVE YOU HAVE MY HUSBAND.

HE'S IN THE BEDROOM.

HE'S ASKING SOME PRETTY
DIFFICULT QUESTIONS.

I KNOW THE WAY.

PHYLLIS... SORRY, JUST WAIT.

UM...

I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE
THIS OPPORTUNITY

TO, UM, APOLOGIZE TO YOU,

TO SAY I'M SORRY.

UH...

WE REALLY, UH, ENDED
THINGS ABRUPTLY,

AND, YOU KNOW, I JUST KIND
OF DISAPPEARED ON YOU,

DIDN'T I?

YES, YOU DID.

YEAH.

I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY.

I THINK IT WAS JUST,

UM...

TOO MUCH?

YOU KNOW?

YEAH.

I'M SORRY, TOO.

I ABSOLUTELY

SUFFOCATED YOU.

I WAS LIKE A TEENAGER IN LOVE,

OVERWHELMED BY MY EMOTIONS.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

IT WAS TOO MUCH.

I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
PUT ALL THAT ON YOU.

WELL, I'D LIKE TO BE FRIENDS.

ME TOO.

[LAUGHS]

[PATTING ALICE'S BACK HEARTILY]

OKAY...

OH... YEAH.

GREAT. OKAY.

[TRIES DOOR]

[RATTLING KNOB]

[KNOCKING]

[DRILL WHIRRS]

[KNOCKS ON BEAM]

YOU LEFT.

WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE
OF A CONVERSATION.

WE WERE NOT IN THE
MIDDLE OF A CONVERSATION.

YOU WERE BEING SNIPPY WITH ME

FOR GOING OUT WITH AMY

AFTER YOU TOLD ME
TO GO OUT WITH HER.

I TOLD YOU TO GO OUT WITH HER

BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO,

OKAY?

I DIDN'T TELL YOU
TO RUB IT IN MY FACE.

I WASN'T RUBBING
IT IN YOUR FACE.

OKAY...

HOW WOULD YOU FEEL

IF I BROUGHT SOMEONE I
WAS DATING TO SCHOOL,

AND I JUST PARADED HER AROUND

IN FRONT OF YOU?

NO, NO, ACTUALLY, DON'T.

DON'T ANSWER IT.

FUCK YOU.

JUST FUCK YOU.

JUST... I'M SORRY. IT'S NOTHING.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

DOESN'T MATTER?

BUT IT DIDN'T WORK.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

EVERY TIME I LOOKED AT HER,

MY HEAD FILLED

WITH PICTURES OF YOU.

HER SKIN DIDN'T FEEL
AS SOFT AS YOURS.

I DIDN'T LIKE THE
WAY SHE TOUCHED ME,

AND HER KISS...

DIDN'T MAKE MY HEAD SPIN

THE WAY YOURS DOES.

YOU'VE RUINED ME
FOR ANYBODY ELSE.

I TOLD HER

I DIDN'T WANT TO
SEE HER ANYMORE.

SHE WAS PRETTY UPSET.

BETTE...

PLEASE?

YOU ARE A FUCKING...

HEARTBREAKER.

CAN SOMEONE GO SEE WHERE MAX IS?

[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]

MAX IS ON THE WAY.

WHAT WAS THE HOLDUP?

HEY, SORRY I'M LATE.

WE'VE BEEN WAITING.

I WAS ON THE PHONE
WITH SPACE GATE.

THEY'RE HAVING TROUBLE
TESTING THEIR NEW DEVICE DRIVERS,

SO I HAD TO TALK
THEM THROUGH IT.

WELL, WE'RE ALL ON A
SCHEDULE HERE, MAX.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP
OUT ONE OF OUR CLIENTS.

WELL, IN CASE YOU
HAVEN'T NOTICED,

WE ALL HAVE CLIENTS HERE,

AND WE ALL NEED TO
MEET THEIR DEMANDS.

THAT'S WHY WE MANAGE OUR TIME.

IT WAS POOR
JUDGMENT ON YOUR PART

TO KEEP THE ENTIRE
STAFF WAITING.

[WHISPERING]

TAKE A SEAT.

WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

AND BY THE WAY, PEOPLE,

JUST SO YOU KNOW,

THERE'S NOTHING I HATE MORE

THAN WHEN YOU MAKE
EXCUSES FOR YOURSELVES.

I DON'T EVEN LET MY OWN
DAUGHTER GET AWAY WITH THAT.

WE ALL HAVE TO
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

FOR OUR ACTIONS.

NOW, LET'S GET STARTED.

THAT'S NOT WHY SHE
WENT BACK TO MEN.

IT WAS THE HUMILIATION
OF FINDING OUT

THAT HER LOVER
WAS CHEATING ON HER.

THAT WAS THE REASON.

NO, NINA WENT BACK TO MEN

BECAUSE SHE'S ONE OF THOSE WOMEN

THAT FINDS SAFETY AND SECURITY

BY BELONGING TO THE
DOMINANT CULTURE.

[SCOFFS]

FEELS SAFE... JENNY...

IF THERE'S A MAN BY HER SIDE.

YOU KNOW?

I'M SORRY. I LOVE YOUR MOVIES.

IT'S SUCH AN HONOR TO MEET YOU.

SORRY, SORRY, I'M JUST...

WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE
OF A MEETING, GUYS.

I WAS... MAYBE...

I'LL SIGN MY LAST NAME LATER.

OKAY, SO ANYWAY,
AS I WAS SAYING,

THE STORY'S REALLY CENTERED

AROUND JESSIE'S
SELF-DETERMINATION,

AND HOW SHE FINDS
STRENGTH THROUGH THAT.

THAT IS RIGHT,

AND I LOVE THESE
KINDS OF STORIES,

BECAUSE I LOVE
THE LADIES' STORIES,

I UNDERSTAND THAT
JERRY IS A WOMAN, RIGHT...

JENNY.

JESSIE.

OH, JESSIE.

LET ME SAY THAT JESSIE HAS
HAD THE WORST MEN IN HER LIFE,

YOU KNOW, AND SHE'S
STILL BEING VICTIMIZED,

BY CRAPOLA GUYS,

AND THEN SHE FINDS THE
ULTIMATE EMPOWERMENT,

WHERE SHE REALIZES THAT
SHE DOESN'T NEED MEN.

SHE DOESN'T NEED THEM,

SHE DOESN'T WANT THEM,

AND SHE DOESN'T DESIRE THEM.

YES, HALLELUJAH!

THIS IS SUCH AN UPLIFTING MOVIE

ABOUT A GIRL WHO
DISCOVERS HERSELF,

AND, IN DOING SO,

SHE FINDS TRUE LOVE,

AND THAT'S VERY HARD TO DO

IN A ROMANTIC COMEDY,

AND THAT'S WHY THIS IS A
PARTICULARLY GOOD ONE,

AND I THINK THE
FIRST AND SECOND ACT

LEAD RIGHT TO A THIRD ACT,

WHICH COULD USE A TWIST,
JUST A LITTLE MORE INTRIGUE.

LIKE MAYBE...

SHE'S A PRINCESS
IN ANOTHER TIME,

AND SHE REVEALS

THAT SHE'S BEEN HIDING IT,

BECAUSE I NEED AN
IMAGE, LIKE A TIARA.

YOU KNOW, IT'S...

CAN I JUST ADD TO IT?

BECAUSE I JUST HAVE, LIKE,
A LITTLE BRAINSTORMY THING.

UM, I THINK THAT...

OKAY, WHAT IF JESSIE
IS A SEX WORKER, OKAY,

AND KARINA IS, LIKE, A
WEALTHY BUSINESSWOMAN,

AND THEN KARINA HIRES
JESSIE FOR THE NIGHT,

SWEEPS HER OFF HER FEET,

THEY FALL MADLY IN LOVE...

JENNY...

TAKES HER SHOPPING
ON RODEO DRIVE,

AND GIVES HER THE JEWELRY BOX,

AND THEN HER HAND
ALMOST GETS CAUGHT,

AND SHE GOES,
"AH, HA, HA, HA, HA!"

LIKE THAT,

AND THEN SHE SITS
IN THE BUBBLE BATH...

OKAY, THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD.

YOU KNOW, SHE'S REALLY SENSITIVE

ABOUT THE MATERIAL.

WELL, SHE DOESN'T WANT
ANYBODY TO MESS IT UP.

I MEAN, UH...

YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

DO YOU LIKE ROMANTIC COMEDY?

YEAH!

THERE YOU GO. CASE CLOSED.

COME ON.

NO, WAIT.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I WANT TO ASK ONE MORE QUESTION.

WE CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE
OF THEIR TIME, LEONARD.

WHY?

WHAT ARE THEY DOING
THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT

THAN HELPING ME UNDERSTAND

WHY MY LIFE HAS
SUDDENLY FALLEN APART?

HE'S GOT A POINT.

I MEAN, LOOK AT
HER. LOOK AT HER.

NOW, IS SHE NOT

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
WOMAN YOU HAVE EVER SEEN,

AND THE MOST BRILLIANT?

SO HOW THE HELL

AM I SUPPOSED TO GET OVER HER?

HMM?

I'M NOT REALLY THAT GREAT.

TELL HIM, ALICE.

OH, PHYLLIS, YOU ARE GREAT.

YOU'RE AMAZING.
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, LEONARD.

BUT I'M A LESBIAN.

YEAH, YEAH.

YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE, TOO.

BUT LEONARD IS FANTASTIC, TOO.

HE'S GREAT.

YES, YOU ARE.

YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL.

IF I WAS EVER GOING
TO BE WITH A MAN AGAIN,

IT WOULD BE WITH YOU.

NOW, CAN WE PLEASE LEAVE?

YEAH.

[SNIFFLES]

BYE, LEONARD.

[DOOR CLOSES]

OH...

[ALL SIGHING HEAVILY]

OKAY, WHO NEEDS A DRINK, HUH?

RIGHT HERE. ALL RIGHT.

GOT ONE!

OKAY, POP IT, POP IT, AND...

ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN,

EIGHT, NINE, 10, 11, SHOOT!

GOOD ONE!

LOT OF FOLLOW-THROUGH.

THIS IS FOR YOU.

OPEN IT.

AWESOME!

IT'S FOR YOUR
BIRTHDAY NEXT WEEK.

I PUT ALL THE, UM...

THE SONGS WE LISTEN TO ON IT.

"PIECE OF MY HEART"?

JANIS JOPLIN...

I LOVE JANIS JOPLIN.

HEY, LISTEN,

LET'S SEE WHAT'S THERE.

YOU WANT ME TO LISTEN TO ONE

YOU LISTEN TO THE OTHER?

HOW DO YOU TURN IT ON?

[MUSIC BLARES THROUGH EARPHONES]

COOL.

NICE SOUND, HUH?

YOU GUYS, UH, SHOULD GO.

YOU GOT A...

YOU GOT A LONG DRIVE

AND I HAVE TO GO
SOMEWHERE, SO...

[CLEARS THROAT]

TAKE CARE.

YEAH.

[CLEARS THROAT]

ALL RIGHT, WELL,
LISTEN, I, UH...

I WANT YOU TO BE
GOOD TO YOURSELF.

OKAY.

AND YOU KNOW I'M ALWAYS
HERE IF YOU NEED ME.

DON'T FORGET THAT.

I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU

A BETTER HAIRCUT.

MAYBE SOME OTHER TIME.

OKAY?

GO.

[ENGINE TURNS OVER]

[CAR RECEDES]

[SOBBING]

THAT'S BULLSHIT, MAX. THEY
CAN'T TREAT YOU LIKE THAT.

I MEAN, HE LOOKS FOR
ANY EXCUSE TO PICK ON ME,

AND HE CAN'T STEP
TOO FAR OUT OF LINE,

BECAUSE HE'S GOT

THE HUMAN RESOURCES
LAWYER THERE,

LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER.

HE'S JUST GOING
TO TRY TO MAKE IT

SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME

THAT I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.

JUST QUIT.

I CAN'T REALLY AFFORD TO QUIT.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

DO YOU MIND
GRABBING THAT FOR ME?

HELLO?

I'M SORRY?

MOIRA...

UH...

OH, THAT'S ME.

OH.

WHO'S CALLING?

IT'S MAGGIE?

THAT'S MY SISTER.

HEY, MAGGIE.

WHAT?

WHEN?

UM...

WHAT HAPPENED?

WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME EARLIER?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU
DON'T WANT ME TO COME HOME?

IT'S NOT A...

YOU KNOW WHAT, MAGGIE?

IT'S NOT UP TO YOU, OKAY?

FUCK OFF!

SHIT.

GRACE...

MY MOM DIED.

I'M SO SORRY.

IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SHE WAS SICK.

MAGGIE SAID SHE WAS DIAGNOSED

EIGHT WEEKS AGO.

SHE DOESN'T WANT ME COMING HOME

FOR THE FUNERAL.

YOUR SISTER ASKED YOU

NOT TO GO TO THE FUNERAL?

SHE'S THE ONLY ONE

WHO KNOWS I'M TRANSITIONING.

SHE THINKS IT'S GOING TO BE

TOO HARD ON MY DAD.

WOW...

MAYBE SHE'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW?

IT WOULD BE A TOTAL... DISASTER.

BUT SHE HAS NO RIGHT TO TELL YOU

YOU CAN'T GO.

I KNOW.

MAYBE IT...

MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BEST.

I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, I...

MY FAMILY WAS...

WAS PRETTY ROUGH, YOU KNOW?

MY MOM...

SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE

WHO WAS REALLY THERE FOR ME.

AND I ALWAYS JUST...

YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT...

I JUST GUESS I WISH

I COULD'VE SEEN HER OR SOMETHING

YOU HAVE TO GO, MAX.

WOULD IT HELP IF
I WENT WITH YOU?

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

I MEAN, YOU...

YOU BARELY EVEN KNOW ME.

IT'S WHAT I'D WANT
SOMEONE TO DO FOR ME.

[CRYING]

I THINK WE HELPED HIM.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

IT HASN'T EVEN
STARTED TO SINK IN.

POOR LEONARD.

HIS HEART'S BROKEN, YOU KNOW.

HE'LL FIND SOMEONE
ELSE, BUT IN THE MEANTIME,

YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY
FROM MARRIED PEOPLE.

OH, LOOK WHO'S TALKING,

AND BY THE WAY, DON'T
THINK I'VE FORGOTTEN.

YOUR LITTLE BREAK
IS UP. WHO'S THE GIRL?

FIRST OF ALL, THERE'S NO GIRL.

SHE'S A WOMAN.

AND SECOND, SHE'S SPECIAL.

SO IF YOU DON'T MIND,

I'D LIKE TO RESPECT HER PRIVACY.

OH, PLEASE, YOU GOT IT BAD.

[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]

IS THAT ME?

NO, THAT'S ME.

WAIT, I FEEL IT.

[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]

OH...

OH, GOT IT.

OH, CATHERINE...

ALICE, GIVE IT HERE.

OH, CATHERINE. OH, CATHERINE.

"OH, CATHERINE." GIVE IT.

HELLO.

OH, HI, CATHERINE.

"OH, HI, CATHERINE."

WHAT?

OH, UH...

NO, I, UM...

I COMPLETELY FORGOT.

OF COURSE...

YEAH, OF COURSE, I'LL BE...

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

ALL RIGHT. BYE.

I'VE GOT TO GO.

CATHERINE'S DRY-CLEANING.

WHAT?

YOU'RE RUNNING ERRANDS FOR HER?

SPRUNG!

NO, AND NO, AND NO.

I'M JUST DOING HER
A FAVOR, ALL RIGHT?

SHE'S JUST DOING HER A FAVOR.

I THOUGHT I'D BE BACK HOURS AGO.

OKAY, WELL, DON'T
FORGET TO PICK UP

YOUR HALF OF THE MONEY.

[LAUGHING]

[CELL PHONE VIBRATES]

FUCK...

I FEEL THAT ONE.

IT'S NOT OVER HERE.

I MIGHT BE SITTING ON IT.

GOT IT, GOT IT.

HELLO.

HEY, AL?

YEAH, IT'S ME.

HI, SHANE!

SHANE, SHANE...

OH, MY GOD, WE'VE BEEN
HAVING A PARTY IN BED ALL DAY.

SHANE, COME OVER.

SHANE?

UM...

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

HELLO?

ARE YOU OKAY?

NO, I'M NOT SO GOOD.

MM-MM.

SHAY LEFT.

DO YOU, UM...

DO YOU WANT TO COME AND MEET ME?

ALL RIGHT, WHERE ARE YOU?

I'M COMING.

I'M AT SUNSET AND HARPER.

OKAY.

FUCK.

[BEBOP PLAYING]

KIT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

WHAT I DO ANYMORE.

WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T
BE DRINKING, KIT.

[CHUCKLES RUEFULLY]

YEAH, AND WHO DO I HAVE
TO THANK FOR THAT, HMM?

COULD I, UM...

COULD I GIVE YOU A RIDE HOME?

WHY?

SO YOU CAN BEG AT ME AND TELL ME

HOW SORRY YOUR ASS IS?

PLEASE. GIVE ME A BREAK.

CAN I...

CAN I PLEASE JUST TALK TO YOU?

HEY, EVERYBODY!

STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING,

SHUT THE FUCK UP, AND LISTEN.

OKAY?

THE MAN WANTS TO TALK.

[SIGHS]

UH...

I'M SORRY.

I, UH...

I'M AN IDIOT, AND I
MADE A HUGE MISTAKE.

YOU THINK?

AND...

I KNOW YOU HATE
ME RIGHT NOW, UM,

AND I DON'T... I
DON'T BLAME YOU,

BUT I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU...

MORE THAN ANYONE I'VE
EVER LOVED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE,

AND I'M GOING TO
STICK AROUND, UM...

AS LONG AS I CAN

IN THE HOPES

THAT YOU'LL
EVENTUALLY FORGIVE ME.

THAT'S...

THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT.

I'M, UH...

I'M STICKING.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU...

AND HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

YOU DID GREAT.

YOU HELPED ME OUT.

THANK YOU.

[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

[GRINDER WHIRRING]

REMINDS YOU OF, UH...

PHOEBE KADLEC?

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
REMEMBER THAT.

I REMEMBER EVERY LITTLE THING

YOU TOLD ME ABOUT YOURSELF.

LANI SHIPMAN DESERVES

THAT SCHOLARSHIP, YOU KNOW.

SHE DOES.

WE'LL SEE, OKAY?

OKAY.

I SAW A GREAT PIECE OF METAL
THIS MORNING ON THE WAY TO WORK,

AND IT WAS REALLY COOL.

ON YOUR WAY FROM AMY'S?

SHE DIDN'T WANT TO STOP FOR IT.

PHILISTINE.

I WAS THINKING ABOUT
HAVING A DINNER PARTY.

I REALLY WANT YOU TO...

MEET SOME OF MY FRIENDS.

OH...

DON'T WORRY.

IT'S NOT FORMAL,

AND THEY'LL LOVE YOU.

CAN I COOK?

I DON'T KNOW, CAN YOU?

I MAKE A...

WICKED SPAGHETTI PUTTANESCA.

YOUR ITALIAN IS VERY GOOD.

THANK YOU.

[CHUCKLES]

SURE.

I'D LOVE TO.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE JUST BEAUTIFUL.

SO ARE YOU.

NO, REALLY.

SO...

SO BEAUTIFUL.

[LAUGHING]

IT'S AMAZING WE GOT THIS
MEETING WITH LAWRENCE,

BECAUSE HE IS THE FIRST PRODUCER

TO MARRY INDEPENDENT FILM
WITH COMMERCIAL SUCCESS,

AND HE'S DONE IT
OVER AND OVER AGAIN

WITH GUS VAN SANT

AND QUENTIN TARANTINO,

SO WE NEED TO
LISTEN TO HIM, OKAY?

OKAY. NO PROBLEM.

THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT
TO HEAR HIS IDEAS.

HE HAS A VERY SPECIFIC
TAKE ON THIS, OKAY?

OKAY, I'LL LISTEN.
I'LL BE QUIET.

I WON'T SAY ANYTHING.

REALLY? OKAY.

LAWRENCE, HI!

HI. HOW ARE YOU?

YOU LOOK GREAT.

YOU LOOK FANTASTIC,
AND YOU MUST BE JENNY.

I AM.

I LOVE YOUR STORY, JENNY.

WHAT PART DO YOU LIKE?

UM, WE CAN'T WAIT
TO HEAR YOUR IDEAS.

OH, GREAT, GREAT.

RIGHT, JENNY?

YES, WHAT DO YOU
LIKE ABOUT LESBIANS?

LESBIANS...

WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE
ABOUT LESBIANS?

YOU KNOW, I WAS INTO LESBIANS

WAY BEFORE THIS
NEW CHIC LESBIAN FAD.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW,

BUT I ACTUALLY HAVE
A 35-MILLIMETER PRINT

OF THE KILLING OF SISTER GEORGE.

WOW.

YEAH, COME SIT DOWN.

SO...

WHERE, HERE?

YEAH, SIT RIGHT THERE.

THAT'D BE GREAT.

WHEN I READ YOUR STORY,

I THOUGHT, "THIS COULD BE

"JUST LIKE A REGULAR
LESBIAN MOVIE,

BUT THAT'S BEEN DONE
A MILLION TIMES BEFORE."

SO I STARTED THINKING...

I DON'T THINK IT'S BEEN
DONE A MILLION TIMES.

WHAT COULD WE DO TO
PUSH THE BOUNDARIES?

WHAT COULD BE,
LIKE, YES, LESBIAN,

BUT LESBIAN-PLUS,

AND I GOT TO ADMIT,

IT'S ALWAYS BEEN MY LIFE'S DREAM

TO MAKE A MUSICAL,

AND I REALLY THINK
THAT'S WHAT LEZ GIRLS IS,

IS A MUSICAL.

I LOVE IT.

REALLY?

I LOVE IT!

[LAUGHING]

I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT.

WHAT DID I SAY AT
THE FIRST MEETING?

SHE WANTS A MUSICAL.

REALLY? I LOVE IT.

I HAVE BEEN DREAMING OF THIS.

OKAY, BEFORE YOU
SAY ANOTHER WORD,

I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

I'M SO EXCITED.

THERE'S THIS WOMAN
WHO IS EXTRAORDINARY,

AND I'VE BEEN WANTING
TO WORK WITH HER

FOR A LONG TIME,

AND I REALLY THINK THAT
I COULD MAKE A MARRIAGE

BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU.

REALLY?

YEAH. OKAY, COOL.

LADIES, WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

[DRUM ROLL]

LOVELY, LISSOME LADIES,

LECHEROUS, LEERING LOTHARIOS,

LOVE IS IN THE AIR.

FROM AS FAR AS PARIS

AND AS CLOSE AS
SILVERLAKE BOULEVARD,

FROM THE MINDS OF THE MAGI,

FROM THE BODIES OF ANGELS,

THE MOUTHS OF BABES,

I GIVE YOU...

THE DITTY BOPS...

I GIVE YOU LE CIRQUE DU FERRER,

I GIVE YOU...

"LEZ GIRLS, THE MUSICAL."

[♪♪]

♪ HELLO, I'M JESSIE ♪

♪ FROM ANY LITTLE TOWN, USA ♪

♪ COUNTESS KARINA ♪

♪ THE MISTRESS OF
THE PLUTO CAFE ♪

♪ I HAVE A BOYFRIEND ♪

♪ BUT I'M INTRIGUED BY YOU ♪

♪ JUST ONE SMOOCH
IN THE LADIES' ROOM ♪

♪ AND I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT TO DO ♪

♪ LEZ GIRLS COME
INTO OUR WORLD ♪

♪ IT'S A CATCH ♪
♪ IT'S A CATCH ♪

♪ IT'S A CAN ♪
♪ IT'S A CAN ♪

♪ IT'S A LIFE WITHOUT THE MAN ♪

♪ IN THE CITY OF THE ANGELS ♪

♪ WHERE THE DEVIL LIES WITHIN ♪

♪ COME ONE, COME
ALL LET US BEGIN ♪

♪ LEZ GIRLS COME
INTO OUR WORLD ♪

♪ YOU'LL BE SHOCKED AND AMUSED ♪

♪ TITILLATED AND CONFUSED ♪

♪ BY THE SULTRY, SAPPHIC STORY ♪

♪ OF A CERTAIN
GROUP OF FRIENDS ♪

♪ COME ON, COME IN
WE'RE READY TO BEGIN... ♪

WHOO!

[CLAPPING]

WELL, YOU WERE THERE
WHEN HE NEEDED YOU, RIGHT?

YEAH, SO WHAT?

AND YOU'D BE THERE
AGAIN IF HE NEEDED YOU.

RIGHT?

YEAH.

WELL, SHAY KNOWS THAT.

HE KNOWS HE DIDN'T LOSE YOU,

AND I THINK THAT'S THE
MOST IMPORTANT THING,

BECAUSE WE BOTH
KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE

TO LOSE SOMEONE WE LOVE.

YEAH.

BUT IN THE MEANTIME...

YOU HAVE TO DRIVE BY
THIS FUCKING BILLBOARD

EVERY DAY.

AND I DON'T WANT
YOU TO GET ANGRY

EVERY TIME YOU PASS BY IT.

SO...

HOW IS IT?

WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT
YOU'D LOOK SO GOOD

WITH FACIAL HAIR.

OOH, PUT A UNIBROW.

OH, BEAUTIFUL.

YOU GOT IT? YEAH.

WHOO, LOOK AT THAT.

YOU'RE A REALLY
GOOD FRIEND, ALICE.

YOU SAVED ME.

I LOVE YOU, SHANE.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

[♪♪]

[LAUGHING]

I'M GOING TO HAVE A BIG...

♪ IF I COULD SHIMMY
LIKE MY SISTER KATE ♪

♪ SHAKE IT LIKE A BOWL
OF JELLY ON A PLATE ♪

♪ MY MOMMA WANTED
TO KNOW LAST NIGHT ♪

♪ HOW SISTER KATE
COULD DO IT OH, SO NICE ♪

♪ NOW ALL THE BOYS
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD ♪

♪ KATIE COULD SHIMMY
ASS MIGHTY GOOD ♪

♪ WELL, IT MAY BE LATE
BUT I'LL BE UP TO DATE ♪

♪ WHEN I CAN SHIMMY
LIKE MY SISTER KATE ♪

♪ OH, YEAH SHAKE IT
LIKE MY SISTER KATE ♪

[LAUGHING]

[♪♪]

♪ IF I COULD SHIMMY
LIKE MY SISTER KATE ♪

♪ I'D NEVER STAY HOME
STAY OUT TOO LATE ♪

♪ I'D GET MYSELF ABOUT
AS HIGH AS A KITE ♪

♪ YOU KNOW I'D DO IT
FOR YOU EVERY NIGHT ♪

♪ NOW ALL THE BOYS
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD ♪

♪ KATIE COULD SHIMMY
ASS MIGHTY GOOD ♪

♪ WELL, I MAY BE LATE
BUT I'LL BE UP TO DATE ♪

♪ WHEN I CAN SHIMMY
LIKE MY SISTER KATE ♪

♪ OH, YEAH SHAKE IT
LIKE MY SISTER KATE ♪

[♪♪]

♪ IF I COULD SHIMMY
LIKE MY SISTER KATE ♪

♪ SHAKE IT LIKE A BOWL
OF JELLY ON A PLATE ♪

♪ MY MOMMA WANTED
TO KNOW LAST NIGHT ♪

♪ HOW SISTER KATE
COULD DO IT OH, SO NICE ♪

♪ NOW ALL THE BOYS IN
THE NEIGHBORHOOD... ♪

[♪♪]

YEAH.