The King of Queens (1998–2007): Season 6, Episode 21 - Tank Heaven - full transcript

ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO
GET THAT LOBSTER COCKTAIL THINGY?

I ALREADY ORDERED
THE CLAM CHOWDER.

SO GET BOTH.

I TOLD YOU, IN HONOR OF
MY FIRST PAYCHECK IN MONTHS,

I AM TREATING, AND I EXPECT YOU
TO DO SOME DAMAGE.

YOU DO REALIZE YOU'RE POKING
A HORNET'S NEST HERE?

I DO. BUT WE ARE
CELEBRATING.

AND LISTEN TO THIS.

IF YOU BEHAVE,

I WILL TAKE YOU TO THAT
STUPID CHRIS TUCKER MOVIE

WHERE HE PLAYS
A BIG BABY.



LITTLE HOMEY?

MM-HMM.

WAIT A SECOND. JUST
'CAUSE YOU'RE TAKING ME OUT

FOR A FANCY
NIGHT ON THE TOWN

YOU DO REALIZE

THAT DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY
MEAN YOU GET THE, UH...

SHMA-BOOTY.

NOW, LISTEN.
YOU CAN EITHER GIVE IT TO ME

OR I CAN TAKE IT.
IT'S YOUR CHOICE.

HERE WE GO.

THANK YOU.

CAREFUL. BOWL'S HOT.

OK. UM, GUY.

YEAH?



DO YOU HAVE ANY
OF THOSE, UH,

CRACKERS THAT ARE SHAPED
LIKE LITTLE BABY OYSTERS?

UH, GUY.

YEAH?

UH, IT'S A PRETTY BIG BOWL.

OH...

THERE'S ONE OF THE GIRLS
I WORK WITH.

EMILY. EMILY.

OH, HEY, CARRIE.

HI!
HI!

UH, EMILY,
THIS IS MY HUSBAND DOUG.

AND THAT'S EMILY. WE WORK
ON THE 40th FLOOR TOGETHER.

HI. HOW YOU DOIN'?

OH, AND THIS IS
MY HUSBAND PETER.

HOW DO YOU DO?
HI PETER.

CARRIE WORKS FOR
MR. DOUCHET.

OH. HOW'S THAT
GOING?

IT'S GOING GOOD.
IT'S GOING GOOD.

ALTHOUGH I WISH HE WOULD
EASE UP ON THE COLOGNE A LITTLE.

YEAH, IT IS
KIND OF STRONG.

KIND OF?
YOU KNOW, THE OTHER DAY

I SAW A FLY
LAND ON HIS SHOULDER,

2 SECONDS LATER... DEAD.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU GUYS
JOIN US?

WE JUST GOT
A NICE BIG TABLE.

OH, ACTUALLY,
WE JUST GOT OUR FOOD-

YEAH, THAT'S BE GREAT.
LET ME JUST GRAB THIS.

NO.
UH-HUH, GREAT, OK?

WHOA, WHOA!
GUY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT?

YOU'RE TAKING
ALL THE CHEESE.

IT CAME UP WITH THE CHIP.

YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU GRABBED
THE NUCLEUS.

WHAT?

EVERY PILE OF NACHOS
HAS ONE MAIN CHIP

THAT HOLDS THE WHOLE THING
TOGETHER-THE NUCLEUS.

YOU DON'T TAKE THE NUCLEUS.
YOU WORK AROUND IT.

YOU HONOR IT.

THAT'S NACHOS 101,
MAN.

CAN I EAT THIS OR IS SOMEONE
GONNA THROW A PUNCH?

OH, HEY, GUYS.

HEY.
HEY.

HONEY, GOOD NEWS.
EMILY AND PETER

HAVE 2 EXTRA TICKETS
TO MARK RUSSELL TONIGHT

AND THEY WANT TO TAKE US.

WHO THE HELL
IS MARK RUSSELL?

HE DOES THESE
POLITICALLY BASED

SONG PARODIES.
HE'S HILARIOUS.

HE'S GOT THIS ONE
ABOUT NEWT GINGRICH-

HE-

HE TOTALLY RIPS HIM
A NEW ONE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

LET'S DO IT.

REALLY? THANK YOU.

BUT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO
TO COOPER'S TONIGHT

TO WATCH THAT
ULTIMATE FIGHTING THING.

YOU NEED 4 PEOPLE
TO GET A BOOTH.

I GOT A CHANCE TO HANG OUT
WITH MY WIFE

AND HER NEW WORK FRIENDS,
ALL RIGHT? JUST BACK IT DOWN.

LOVE YOU.

LOVE YOU, TOO.
LOOKIN' FORWARD TO IT.

YOU DO REALIZE

YOU JUST WENT FROM 2
PSYCHOS FIGHTING IN A CAGE

TO A GUY IN A BOW TIE
SINGING ABOUT INFLATION.

HA HA! I FORGOT
ABOUT THAT ONE.

THAT ONE'S GREAT.
HA HA HA!

CALM DOWN? YOU KNOW WHAT?
I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

REALLY? 'CAUSE FROM
WHERE I'M SITTING,

YOU JUST GOT STEAMROLLED
LIKE A CARTOON CHARACTER.

LOOK, CARRIE JUST GOT
A NEW JOB, AND THAT'S GREAT.

THE BAD NEWS IS, NOW
THERE'S A WHOLE NEW BUILDING

FULL OF THESE MANHATTAN
CHUCKLEHEADS

SHE'S GONNA
WANT TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH.

OH, SHE LOVES THAT.

"OH, LET'S MAKE NEW FRIENDS.
LET'S OPEN UP OUR WORLD."

YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T
WANT TO OPEN UP OUR WORLD.

I WANT TO CLOSE OUR WORLD.

BUILD A DOME OVER IT.

WELL, IF YOU DON'T WANT
TO MEET ANY NEW PEOPLE,

WHY'D YOU AGREE
TO GO OUT WITH THEM?

BECAUSE CARRIE
CAN'T KNOW ABOUT THE DOME.

SO WHAT I LIKE TO DO IS...

HAPPILY AGREE TO GO OUT
WITH THESE PEOPLE.

AND THEN LET'S JUST SAY,
BY THE END OF THE EVENING...

THEY NO LIKE DOUGIE
SO MUCH.

OH, THANKS FOR TAKING US
TONIGHT, YOU GUYS.

OH, SURE.

MARK RUSSELL
NEVER DISAPPOINTS.

I HAD NO IDEA THERE WERE SO MANY
WORDS THAT RHYME WITH BIPARTISAN.

WOW, I REALLY
LOVE THIS HOUSE.

OH, THANK YOU.
IT'S JUST A PLACE HOLDER

UNTIL I HIT THE LOTTERY.

ACTUALLY... I THINK
I'M A PLACE HOLDER

UNTIL SHE HITS
THE LOTTERY.

HONEY, YOU WANT TO
GET SOME COFFEE GOING?

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS JUST
TALK AMONGST YOURSELVES.

OHH,
WHAT A GREAT NIGHT, HUH?

YEAH, IT WAS.
YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH.

CAN I, UH,
ASK YOU GUYS A QUESTION?

OH, SURE.

IS THIS A LOT OF HAIR,
RIGHT HERE? SERIOUSLY.

'CAUSE SOME PEOPLE
SAY I'M HAIRY,

BUT I DON'T THINK
I'M HAIRY ENOUGH, YOU KNOW?

LIKE, ESPECIALLY IN THE
WINTER, THE COLD MONTHS.

YEAH, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I, UH, I DON'T, UM...

I'M SURE YOU'RE FINE.

YOU WANT TO TOUCH IT?
IT'S VERY SOFT.

NO.

GO AHEAD. SERIOUSLY.
TOUCH IT.

IT'S LIKE A PUPPY,
I SWEAR.

IT'S A LITTLE PUPPY.

YEAH. NO BITEY, NO BITEY.

UH... I DON'T THINK
I WANT TO DO THAT RIGHT NOW.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I THINK
ABOUT SHAVING IT ALL OFF

AND JUST STUFFIN' IT IN A
PILLOWCASE AND SLEEPIN' ON IT.

HEY.
THERE SHE IS.

I HOPE YOU GUYS
DON'T MIND.

ALL I COULD FIND
WERE THESE OREOS.

YEAH. UM, ACTUALLY,
WE HAVE TO SCOOT.

YEAH.

COME ON, HANG OUT.

YEAH, I'M SORRY.

I FORGOT THE BABYSITTER
NEEDS US HOME BY 11:00.

BY 11:00.
SHE DID SAY THAT.

OH, OK.
ALL RIGHT.

WELL, LET'S DO THIS
AGAIN, YOU GUYS.

YEAH,
WE'LL CHECK OUR SCHEDULE!

THAT WAS FUN.

THAT WAS FUN.

OK, I WIN AGAIN.
YOU JUST SCRATCHED.

OBVIOUSLY YOU'RE NOT
FAMILIAR WITH THE RULES

OF NORTH EUROPEAN BILLIARDS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU BROUGHT ARTHUR HERE.

WE NEEDED A FOURTH TO GET THE
BOOTH. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?

THE BIG DEAL IS,
WHEN HE GETS INTO A FIGHT,

I'M THE ONE WHO'S GONNA
HAVE TO STOP IT,

AND THIS IS TOO DAMN PRETTY.

WHO WAS LIGHT BEER?

OH, THAT'D BE ME.

WATCHING THE OLD WAISTLINE.

GOTTA FIT INTO MY BIKINI
FOR THE SUMMER, RIGHT?

RIGHT. AND 2 HEINEKENS.

DAMN, THAT WAS ROUGH.

YEAH, GUY. A LITTLE TIP WHEN
YOU TRY TO PICK UP CHICKS-

DON'T MAKE THEM
PICTURE YOU IN A BIKINI.

CAN I BORROW SOME CASH?

NO MORE MONEY, ARTHUR. YOU
STINK AT POOL. DEAL WITH IT.

I'LL PLAY YOU RIGHT NOW
FOR A MILLION DOLLARS.

YOU ALREADY OWE ME 8 MILLION
FROM PINBALL. SIT DOWN.

I'M HOT.

THEN TAKE OFF
YOUR SWEATER.

OH, YOU'D LIKE THAT,
WOULDN'T YOU?

FINE, THEN BE HOT.

OK, YOU WIN.
ENJOY THE SHOW.

DO YOU WANT SOME HELP
WITH THAT, ARTHUR?

I THINK I CAN TAKE OFF
MY OWN SWEATER, THANK YOU.

IS SOMEONE GONNA
HELP ME OR WHAT?

COME HERE.
COME HERE.

GIVE ME THAT,

AND... THERE.

THAT WAS TERRIFYING.

I'M GONNA NEED
A MEN'S ROOM PRONTO.

HERE ARE YOUR WINGS.

THANKS.

WAS THAT YOUR GRANDFATHER?

WHO, HIM?
NO, THAT'S JUST SOME GUY.

OH. YOU KNOW,
SO MANY PEOPLE

TAKE THE ELDERLY
FOR GRANTED,

IT'S REALLY SWEET SEEING YOU
TAKE CARE OF HIM LIKE THAT.

IT IS?

SURE. IT SHOWS
YOU HAVE A BIG HEART.

I LIKE THAT.

OH, HO.

SHE LIKES THAT.

HUH!

OK, FALSE ALARM.

OH, HEY,
THERE'S THE MAN.

HUH?
COME HERE.

YOU GOT A LITTLE,
UH, SHMUTZ ON YOUR FACE.

OH, YOU'RE SICK, EMILY?

THAT'S TOO BAD.

HEY, MAYBE IT'S FROM SMELLING MR.
DUCHET'S COLOGNE, RIGHT? HA HA!

OH, OK, YOU GOTTA GO?

ALL RIGHT. OK. BYE-BYE.

CRAP.

WHAT'S THE MATTER, BABE?

EMILY AND PETER
BLEW US OFF AGAIN TONIGHT.

REALLY? THAT'S WEIRD.

THEY SAID THEY HAD TO
GO BIRD SHOPPING.

WHO GOES BIRD SHOPPING
ON A SATURDAY NIGHT?

WHO GOES BIRD SHOPPING?

PEOPLE LIKE BIRDS.

I ALMOST GOT A PARROT ONCE,

TILL I FOUND OUT
THEY LIVE TO BE 80.

I DON'T NEED MY PET
OUTLIVING ME.

I JUST DON'T
UNDERSTAND IT.

I MEAN, I THOUGHT
WE ALL HIT IT OFF.

HOW CAN THEY
NOT LIKE US?

I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN...

THERE ARE PEOPLE
OUT IN THE WORLD

WHO DON'T LIKE
SQUIRT CHEESE.

BUT WE ALL GOTTA SHARE
THIS BIG SPINNING ROCK.

I MEAN, YOU WERE FUNNY.

I KNOW THEY LIKED YOU.

WELL, THAT'S TRUE.
I'M-I'M ELECTRIC.

DO YOU THINK
IT WAS ME?

NO.

MY GOD, WAS IT ME?

NO, NO, NO.
YOU'RE FUN AND... FEISTY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
I'M FEISTY?

LIKE I CAME ON
TOO STRONG?

NOT AT ALL. YOU DIDN'T, NO. I MEAN...

ALTHOUGH...

NO, NO, NO-
WHAT?

IT'S NOTHING!
WHAT? JUST TELL ME!

OK, YOU-

YOU REMEMBER AT DINNER
WHEN YOU...

ASKED THE BUSBOY, LIKE,
3 TIMES FOR LEMONS?

I THOUGHT I SAW PETER AND EMILY
THROW EACH OTHER A LOOK, LIKE...

"OK... "

OH, MY GOD,
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

HEY, I LOVE IT WHEN YOU
MIX IT UP WITH THE HELP,

BUT MAYBE THEY'RE JUST NOT
HIP ENOUGH TO "GET" YOU.

YOU KNOW,
IT'S THEIR LOSS.

I JUST THOUGHT
THIS WOULD BE A GREAT WAY

TO OPEN UP OUR WORLD
A LITTLE BIT, YOU KNOW?

YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW,

WE GOT A GREAT WORLD
RIGHT HERE IN QUEENS,

WITH GREAT FRIENDS
WHO...

LOVE US FOR WHO WE ARE.

YOU'RE RIGHT, HONEY.

THANKS, BABE.

AND ALL IS QUIET
IN THE DOME.

OH, HEY, EMILY.

HEY, CARRIE.

I JUST GOT,
LIKE, 70 MORE.

SO DID YOU GUYS
END UP, UH,

GETTING THAT BIRD
OR...

OH, NO. NO.

WE LOOKED AROUND,
BUT WE COULDN'T AGREE ON ONE.

YEAH, IT'S HARD.

EMILY, UH...

CAN I ASK YOU
A QUESTION?

SURE.

UH, DID I DO ANYTHING
THE OTHER NIGHT

TO OFFEND YOU
IN ANY WAY?

NO, NO. NOT AT ALL.

I KNOW I CAN BE
OPINIONATED SOMETIMES.

I TALK BEFORE I THINK,
AND I-

CARRIE,
I THINK YOU'RE GREAT.

REALLY.

YOU DO?

YEAH.

OH.

THEN YOU GUYS WANT TO
GET TOGETHER THIS WEEKEND?

YEAH, UM... I DON'T THINK SO.

OK. I MEAN,
IF YOU LIKE ME SO MUCH,

HOW COME YOU NEVER WANT
TO HANG OUT WITH US?

CARRIE... IT'S NOT YOU.

DID YOU LIFT YOUR SHIRT

AND MAKE THEM TOUCH
YOUR BELLY HAIR?!

WHAT?!

DID YOU?

I LIFTED MY WHAT
AND MADE WHO-

I- I-I-I CAN'T EVEN
FOLLOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!

YOU LIFTED YOUR SHIRT
AND MADE PETER AND EMILY

TOUCH YOUR BELLY HAIR!

OH, YEAH, OK, YEAH, AND THEN
I THREW ON A G-STRING

AND GAVE PETER
A LAP DANCE. YEAH.

OH, YEAH, OK, DOUG, WHAT ARE
YOU SAYING, EMILY'S LYING?

WHY WOULD SHE LIE?

OH, COME ON. YEAH-

I LIFTED UP MY SHIRT
AND I MADE THEM TOUCH ME.

THAT'S WHAT I DID.

OH, GOD.

10 YEARS TOGETHER,
CARRIE.

10 YEARS,
YOU THINK YOU KNOW A PERSON.

UNBELIEVABLE.
UNBELIEVABLE.

THIS-THIS STINGS A LITTLE.
THIS-THIS STINGS...

ALL RIGHT, L-LOOK,
I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY,

BUT WHY WOULD SHE...

I DON'T KNOW,
YOU KNOW,

BUT MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE
YOU GUYS WORK TOGETHER

AND SHE DIDN'T WANT
TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS,

SO SHE BLAMED ME.

IT'S ALL RIGHT. I'M A
BIG BOY. I CAN TAKE IT.

HONEY, I AM SO SORRY.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M SORRY THAT YOU HAVE TO
PUT UP WITH PEOPLE LIKE HER.

I JUST DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH ME.

IT'S LIKE I CAN'T
READ PEOPLE ANYMORE.

IS IT BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
OUT OF WORK FOR SO LONG?

WE CAN ANALYZE THIS
TILL WE'RE BLUE IN THE FACE...

THE POINT IS,

IT'S BEHIND US.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU ARE RIGHT.

SCREW EMILY KORNBLUTH.

YEAH!

THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE AT
MY OFFICE WE COULD HANG OUT WITH.

SO HOW MUCH
WOULD IT TAKE

FOR YOU GUYS TO GET IT
ON IN FRONT OF ME, HUH?

MAY I?

THANK YOU.

COME ON.
WE'VE ALL WONDERED

WHAT HUMAN FLESH
TASTES LIKE, RIGHT?

SO, SERIOUSLY...
YOU IN?

THERE YOU GO, BIG GUY.
HOW'S THAT FEEL?

IT DIDN'T REALLY HURT TO BEGIN
WITH, BUT I'M NOT HATIN' IT.

HOW LOW COULD YOU GO WITHOUT
FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE?

AS LOW AS THE LAW
ALLOWS, MY FRIEND.

OH, I'LL BE BACK
IN JUST A SECOND.

HEY, KATE,
HOW'S IT GOIN'?

OH, HEY.

YEAH. JUST, UH,
KNOCKIN' ONE BACK

WITH MY OLD PAL ARTHUR.

GOD, HIS OWN FAMILY KEEPS HIM
LOCKED IN A BASEMENT ALL DAY.

IT'S SAD.

DAMN IT, I SAID I WASN'T
GONNA CRY ABOUT THIS.

OH, YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW, IT
LOOKS LIKE YOU AND YOUR FRIEND

TAKE REALLY GOOD CARE
OF HIM.

WHAT?

YEAH, I GUESS LOOKING
AFTER HIM IS A LOT OF WORK.

IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE
WORK, THOUGH.

IT FEELS A LOT MORE
LIKE LOVE.

I LOVE YOU, TOO,
DANIEL.

NOW, GIVE ME
A NICE CRISP PART

LIKE DESI ARNAZ.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ARTHUR'S HAIR
WAS A LITTLE MESSY,

SO I'M FIXING IT.

OK, LEAVE HIM ALONE.
THIS IS MY THING.

WELL, NOW IT'S OUR THING.

NO, IT ISN'T.

WHY DON'T YOU GO AWAY,
ALL RIGHT? I'M DOING HIS HAIR.

UH, HEY, LOOK AT THE
TIME. I GOTTA FEED YOU.

HERE. HAVE A BREADSTICK.

I DON'T WANT A BREADSTICK.

YES, YOU DO.

SESAME SEEDS
MAKE MY GUMS INFLAMED.

HEY, COME EAT.
THIS WAY.

HEY, NOW STOP IT!

THE TWO OF YOU
HAVE BEEN GROOMING ME,

YOU'VE BEEN FEEDING ME...

LETTING ME SIT ON YOUR LAP.

WHAT GIVES?

IT'S JUST...

IT TURNS OUT WOMEN
KIND OF LIKE IT

WHEN THEY SEE US
TAKING CARE OF YOU.

SO I'M ONLY HERE SO YOU CAN
USE ME AS OLD MAN BAIT?

YOU MAKE ME SICK.

NOW, FINISH MY DESI
AND THEN I'M OUTTA HERE.

HEY, DID I TELL YOU THAT
KELLY'S ON THE STEERING COMMITTEE

FOR KIRBY'S MIDDLE SCHOOL?

NO, BUT BACK THAT STORY UP,

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT
TO MISS A THING.

COME ON, MAN.
I'M IN TROUBLE HERE.

SHE'S TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS
WITH THIS COUPLE SHE MET THERE-

GEORGE AND VIOLA.

I NEED TO KNOW HOW THIS
WHOLE DOME BUSINESS WORKS.

OH, SO SOMEBODY WANTS A
LITTLE HELP FROM THE MASTER.

YEAH, YEAH.
WALK ME THROUGH THIS.

HOW DO I MAKE
THESE PEOPLE DISAPPEAR?

WELL, THE FIRST THING YOU
DO IS YOU GO OUT WITH THEM.

OK, YOU BE CHARMING, AND PRETEND
YOU'RE HAVING A GREAT TIME.

AND WHEN KELLY LEAVES THE
ROOM, YOU MAKE YOUR MOVE.

WHAT DO I DO?

WELL, THERE ARE
A LOT OF OPTIONS.

BUT I'M GONNA START YOU OFF
WITH A BASIC SHIRT LIFT.

YOU MEAN LIKE THIS?

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU
DON'T HAVE A TON OF HAIR.

YOU MIGHT WANT
TO GO NIPPLE.

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

ANYTHING ELSE?

SOMETIMES I LIKE TO THROW
IN A CRAZY LOOK, LIKE...

THAT REALLY WORKS?

I HAVE YET TO FIND
A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM.

EVERYBODY HATES ME, I HATE
THEM, AND I AM QUITTING.

THAT'S IT. I'VE HAD IT.

AND THERE'S
THE FIRST GLITCH.

HEY, BABE. YOU'RE NOT REALLY THINKING
ABOUT QUITTING YOUR JOB, ARE YOU?

YEAH, I AM. OK? I'M LOOKING
THROUGH THE WANT ADS RIGHT NOW.

I REFUSE TO WORK WITH PEOPLE

THAT I HAVE TO BEG
TO BE MY FRIEND, ALL RIGHT?

I'M A VERY SWEET
AND NICE PERSON.

THEY CAN ALL BITE ME.

YOU JUST HAD A BAD DAY.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? I
KNOW WHAT'LL CHEER YOU UP.

HOW ABOUT WE
GRAB SOME CHINESE, HUH?

NO, I'M NOT HUNGRY.

COME ON.
WE COULD MAKE FUN

OF MR. CHANG'S LISP, ORDER
SOME THWEET AND THOUR THOUP.

NO. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'M JUST GONNA GO TO BED.

LOOK, YOU JUST GOT THIS JOB.
YOU CAN'T QUIT.

YOU KNOW WHAT? FIND SOMEONE
ELSE. WE'LL GO OUT WITH THEM.

NO.

IT'LL WORK OUT
THIS TIME. I KNOW IT.

REALLY? HOW DO YOU
KNOW THAT, DOUG?

BECAUSE THIS TIME YOU WON'T
YELL AT A BUSBOY ABOUT LEMONS,

AND I WON'T
"LIFT MY SHIRT."

COME ON. YOU WORK WITH,
LIKE, A MILLION PEOPLE.

THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMEONE
THERE WE CAN GO OUT WITH.

WELL, I KIND OF KNOW
THE NEWSSTAND LADY

THAT WORKS IN THE LOBBY.

PERFECT. THERE WE GO-

ME, YOU, NEWSSTAND LADY,
MR. NEWSSTAND LADY-

WE'LL
ALL PAINT THE TOWN.

OK.

ALL RIGHT? NOW LET'S
TALK MR. CHANG'S, HUH?

THWEET AND THOUR THOUP,
THETHAME CHICKEN-

AND ANYTHING ELSE?

THPARE RIBTH?

THAT'S MY GIRL.

THERE YOU GO, WHITEY.

IT SEEMS YOU HAD SOME
MARSHMALLOW ON YOUR CHIN.

YOU PUT IT THERE.

YOU WANT YOUR 5 BUCKS,
THEN SHUT UP!

JUST, UH, TAKING CARE
OF MY OLD FRIEND HERE.

ARTHUR, UH,
WE JUST CAME BY

TO SAY WE'RE SORRY.

YEAH, WE DIDN'T MEAN
TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS.

BUZZ OFF. I GOT MY OWN
THING WORKING RIGHT NOW.

WAIT-WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE DOING EXACTLY
WHAT YOU YELLED AT US FOR.

DOING WHAT?

NEVER MIND WHAT I'M DOING!
JUST LOOK PATHETIC.

HE'S USING YOU BECAUSE
WOMEN ARE ATTRACTED TO MEN

WHO TAKE CARE OF
THE ELDERLY.

REALLY?

THEN I'M GONNA CALL
MY UNCLE CARL.

AT FIRST WE JUST
SOLD NEWSPAPERS.

THEN I GOT THE IDEA
TO SELL GUM AND CANDY.

THEN I PUT IN
THE CHIP RACK,

AND KNOCK ON WOOD,

NEXT MONTH WE'RE GETTING
A CHAPSTICK DISPENSER.

WOW. IT'S A GOOD TIME
IN OUR LIVES.

WELL, I'M GONNA GET
SOME MORE COFFEE.

HOW ARE YOU GUYS?
YOU OK? CHERYL? DENNIS?

WE'RE FINE.
UH, GOOD.

OK. WELL, JUST LET ME KNOW
IF ANYTHING BOTHERS YOU. OK?

ALL RIGHT.

HEY, YOU GUYS
EVER PLAY BALDERDASH?

HMM?

THE BOARD GAME.

YOU MAKE UP FAKE
DICTIONARY DEFINITIONS.

IT'S HILARIOUS.

WE'RE IN A LEAGUE EVERY
TUESDAY AND FRIDAY.

MAYBE YOU COULD JOIN.

"IF YOU LOVE WORDS,
YOU'LL LOVE BALDERDASH."

YEAH. AND DENNIS HERE,

HE ALWAYS MAKES
THIS INCREDIBLE CHILI.

IT IS DELICIOUS.

NO MEAT.

ALL TOFU.

AND...

WE GET TOTALLY DRUNK.

ON FUN!

HA HA HA HA HA!

IS THIS A LOT OF HAIR
RIGHT HERE? SERIOUSLY.

HUH?

HEY...