The Jetsons (1962–1963): Season 2, Episode 32 - Future Tense - full transcript

Jane's new designer glasses let her see into the future.

Every so often, I just gotta
take an afternoon off.

It's good therapy.

The family's gonna be so happy
to see me home early...

...I can hardly wait.

I'm a lucky kind of guy.
My life is good.

Everything's going my way.
It's perfect.

Who could ask for anything more?
I've got it all.

A nice home,
a terrific family that loves me.

A dog, a maid.

And even a live-in alien.

I lead the kind of life
most people just dream about.



There's nothing like coming home
to a warm, loving family...

...after a day working
in the salt mines.

In this high-speed,
high-tech, hyper world...

...family life
is the only refuge.

Be it ever so humble, ha-ha,
there's no place like home.

Hmm. I gotta remember to get
that ejection seat adjusted.

Ahh. Home sweet home.

Okay, everybody,
Mr. Number-One is home.

Start the celebration.

Hey, what kind
of a welcome is this?

Where is everyone?

What about the hugs and kisses?

The pipe and slippers?
The big welcome home.

I thought we had
a tight family unit around here.



[BARKING]

ASTRO:
Welcome home, George.

GEORGE:
Ugh. Thanks, Astro.

I appreciate
the touching sentiment...

...but do you have
to be so physical?

I'm sorry.

Where's the family, anyway?

- Look, they left a message.
- Great.

I take an afternoon off and come
home to a recorded message.

Hello, George.

Judy and I went shopping at
a mall in the distant galaxy.

Elroy's at the space park
with Orbitty.

Rosie's running errands.

We'll be home for dinner with
a few surprises for all. Bye.

I hate shopping surprises.
They always cost me money.

Slow down, Judy.

This isn't
the Indianapolis 500,000.

Mom, I'm only Mach 5.
The limit is the speed of light.

That's still too fast
when you're a student driver.

How far is
the planet Bevdayo, Mom?

Just east of Orion...

...in the high-fashion,
trendy section of the galaxy.

Boy, are the kids
at school gonna envy...

...my super-chic, new-wave
wardrobe from Bevdayo.

JANE: It's the absolute pinnacle
of high-fashion shopping.

JUDY: I hear it runs rings
around Saturn.

JANE: And it's even more
with it than Venus.

JUDY: Wow. This is
real upscale spending.

JANE: Fortunately, we're armed
with unlimited credit.

Wow.

They really do draw
from all the planets.

Look at those terrifically
bizarre and weird people.

These are the true fashion
pacesetters of our whole galaxy.

If it's not from Bevdayo...

...it's not happening
in the world of style.

Check out those spacy shops.
So in, so now, so today.

- So let's hit it.
- Charge.

No. Cash.

Oh, thank you for
the makeup kit, Mom.

You're welcome.

We better head home.

I guess we have something
for everyone.

I'll say. Presents
for Daddy, Elroy, Astro.

But, Mom, you didn't get
anything for yourself.

What do you think, Judy?
Do they look too flashy?

No, Mom. They are totally
radical and super cool.

Please, please, please.
Don't touch the merchandise.

Unless you plan to buy it.

Sorry. How much
are these dark glasses?

Really, you people from smaller
planets have all the nerve.

It's so gauche to talk price.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, I must have
these darling glasses.

Designer viewers, if you please.

These lenses have
very unique visual capabilities.

We're very selective
as to whom they are sold.

Oh, I just love
that snobbish, elitist attitude.

I'll take them.

Congratulations, Madam Humanoid,
but I must warn you.

Through these viewers...

...you will see life
in a very different way.

Quite different.

JUDY: Oh, we'll be the fashion
envy of Orbit City, Mom.

I can't wait to see
how thrilled George will be...

...with the Bevdayo suit
I bought him.

That's for Halloween, right?

I gave the clerk
your measurements...

...and asked for their best
custom-made suit.

Thank heaven you didn't buy it
off the rack.

There are no racks
in a swanky place like Bevdayo.

Bevdayo?

That glittery, overpriced,
trendy planet?

It's a rip-off.

It's not a rip-off. It's chic.

Up there, it's chic
to get ripped off.

Alright, so the suit
is a bit off-line.

Loosen up, George.

Bevdayo is the glitzy
fashion center of today.

Sounds more like
the loony bin of all time.

Well, how about this
exquisite designer putter?

Thanks, Jane,
but it looks like the guy...

...who designed
the suit branched out.

JANE:
It's self-putting.

Elroy, I also have
something for you.

Oh, boy.

My megabyte-science-encyclopedia
computer chip, right, Mom?

Better than that, Elroy.

It's a beautiful Bevdayo
designer guitar.

Oh, gee, thanks, Mom.

JANE: It's self-playing.
You just touch the on button.

But I'm beyond
solo guitar music.

I'm more into
synthetic-lunar rocket roll.

Glad you like it, dear.

Why don't you give this to Judy?
She's the musical space case.

I got Judy a gift.

A self-applying
Bevdayo makeup kit.

[GUITAR PLAYING]

Elroy, turn that thing off.

I'd love to,
but it won't turn off.

The designer only gave it
a on button.

Well, it's pressing my nerve
button. So shut that thing up.

I can't.

And, Astro? Astro?

This is for you.

Exclusive Bevdayo designer-label
dog shampoo.

Thanks a lot.

No offense, Mom...

...but I'm designing
my own way to turn it off.

[MUSIC STOPS]

Oh, what a relief.

I guess you got a lemon, Elroy.

You didn't do
so well yourself, Dad.

Mom. Look at me.

This is set for faces
from Bevdayo.

That's the price we pay to be
up-to-the-minute fashionable.

Oh! Ow! Ugh!

Look at this.

[MUTTERS INCOHERENTLY]

What did you get yourself, Mom?

These totally-in Bevdayo
designer glasses...

...with a blushing pink tint.

With those frames,
I can see why they blush.

Do I look in?

No. You look out. Ha-ha-ha.

Well, everything looks
perfectly normal...

...except for the pink tinge.

Rosie, how thoughtful of you
to bring us lemonade.

GEORGE: Are you okay, Jane?
-Of course.

Have some lemonade, George.

Lemonade?
Jane, who are you talking to?

Don't be silly.
I was talking to Rosie.

Rosie? Jane, Rosie isn't here.

Well, I, at least, have
the courtesy...

...to thank Rosie for her--

- Where did she go?
- Where did who go?

Who? Rosie.

She was right here.

Thought you might like
some lemonade, folks.

Rosie, weren't you just here?

No. I was in the kitchen
looking for lunar lemons.

I can't understand it.

I put on these glasses
and I saw you enter--

Rosie? Are you alright?

Yeah, I'm fine, Mrs. J.
How are you?

- Rosie, but I saw you trip.
- Really, Mrs. J.

The closest I've come to a trip
is when I went to Jupiter...

...on a robot singles tour. Ugh!

JANE: George, I do not need
to see a head doctor.

I am not bonkers.

Well, maybe you should see
an eye doctor.

But I saw Rosie trip. Before she
tripped the second time.

The second time
was the first time.

It was the power of suggestion.

It's glary out here.

You told Rosie you saw her trip.

So being highly suggestible,
she tripped.

That's the logical
explanation, Jane.

George, would you say our space
car is highly suggestible too?

GEORGE:
Oh, that's ridiculous.

We're lucky it takes
a suggestion to start.

Well, it's about to get hit.

Jane, I'm afraid
you've become a mental wreck.

JANE:
I'm not a wreck. Our car is.

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Jane, poor Jane.

There's nothing wrong
with our car.

[CRASH]

Sorry.

Hey, I get it. Those wacko,
Bevdayo designer glasses.

They're tuned
into the immediate future.

Incredible.

So that's what
the sales creature meant...

...when he said they had
unique visual capabilities.

Unique? Wow.

With those, you can actually see
into the future.

Fantastic.

It's unbelievable.

It's more than that.
It's, it's--

Gesundheit.
Here, use my handkerchief.

I don't need your handkerchief.
Ah-choo!

- Ready, George?
[GEORGE] - Ready.

You're coming out with a green
lampshade on your head.

Right. That is miraculous.

Just like I saw through the
glasses. They're sure fire.

ELROY:
My turn, Mom.

You are going to enter the room
on Astro's shoulders...

...juggling bananas.

ELROY:
Right.

Boy, it would have been
impossible to have guessed that.

That's terrific.

What am I gonna be holding, Mom?

I see you holding a dust cloth.
I see you cleaning your room.

Wrong. It was my stuffed panda.

Hey, Mom, you weren't even
wearing your glasses.

Right, because I'm now telling
you to go clean your room.

Ohh!

Okay, okay, let me try them.

I've gotta see this for myself.

Huh. I'm seeing the same thing
with them or without them.

Naturally. They're personally
sized only for me.

Come on, Jane, we're gonna
field-test these future glasses.

GEORGE:
Well, what do you see, Jane?

A space garbage truck
is going to dump...

...its entire load
on two innocent people.

I better warn that policeman.

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

Honey, where were
the two innocent people...

...you saw buried
in the garbage?

Right where you're standing.

Okay, let's give it
another look.

Hey, wait. Why don't we do
some forecasting...

...where it will
really pay off?

At the race track.

Oh, George, you're so clever.
We'll make a fortune.

JANE: This is so exciting.

I've never seen
an alien horse race.

Oh, darn. We missed
the first race.

ANNOUNCER [OVER PA]:
And the winner is Mold Odor.

Number two is Galloping Glob...

...followed by
Massive Golden Meatball.

Hey! I won.

Stick with me, buddy,
and you'll be a winner too.

I feel extra lucky today.

Yeah? Well, so do I, pal,
so do I.

Guess I'll take a peek
at the second race.

I bet it looks good for us.
Ha-ha-ha!

Take my advice, pal.

The winning alien
in the next one...

...is number four,
Squalid Solid.

Thanks, but we've got
our own system.

ANNOUNCER:
The aliens are at the gate.

Keep your fingers crossed.

And my toes are crossed.

Squalid Solid always does real
good on zero-gravity tracks.

Can't lose.

And they're off.

It's Meteor Mess taking
the lead on the first turn.

Galloping Glob coming up fast.

Oh, and moving up
on the inside is Rampant Rock.

I'm telling you, pal,
put it all on Squalid Solid.

ANNOUNCER:
Galloping Glob and Rock

and it's Rampant Rock
by a length.

Bet Rampant Rock, George.

How did Squalid Solid do?

Last.

Rampant Rock on the nose
to win. Ha-ha-ha.

Rampant Rock paid 20-to-1.
We made 200 already.

George, look at those two men.
They're staring at us.

GEORGE: Naturally, Jane.
Everybody loves a winner.

Now, who wins the next race?

ANNOUNCER: And the winner of the
third race is Pluto's Pride.

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE
& CROWD CHEERING]

Just like I saw it.
Isn't this fantastic?

How much did we win?

Incredible. At 40-to-1, 6000.

Oh, how wonderful.

George, don't look now,
but they're staring at us again.

[GEORGE] - Who?
-Those men, George.

Do you think they're
after our winnings?

You're overly imaginative.

Forget those guys.
Who's the next winner?

[GRUMBLES]

Oh, George, how much
do we have now?

Two hundred grand. I should have
brought a suitcase.

Two hundred thousand.

George, they're back.

Who are they? I'm scared.

Excuse me, mister, but do you
know who those two men are?

Them? Yeah, I see them here
all the time.

They always get their share
of everybody's winnings.

Oh, boy. Trouble.

I think they're gangsters.

We mustn't get paranoid, Jane.

But, George, they know exactly
how much we've won.

GEORGE: And nobody wins
as big as we have.

Right. No telling
what they'll do to us.

We better get out of here.

Wait. We know we're leaving.

What we don't know
is if they're going to follow.

Hey, yeah, take a look
and see...

...if we can sneak out
without them.

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

- What did you see?
- Those men.

They'll be running after us
faster than Cosmic Corker.

Who's Cosmic Corker?

- The winner of the next race.
- We only have one hope.

Plastic surgery
and move to a distant galaxy?

No. I might have a way.

Hey, buddy, I've got
the winner...

...of the big featured race
for you.

No way, pal.
I've got the winner.

I bet my house, my car,
my savings...

...everything on Star Stuff.

Figures. Now, look, would you
take a little side bet?

Sure. What else can I lose?

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

ANNOUNCER:
And they're off and running.

Taking the lead
is Cosmic Corker...

...followed by Hurdling Hop...

...with Star Stuff
bringing up the rear.

[IN DEEP VOICE]
Excuse me, pardon. Excuse me.

GEORGE: Are they following?

[IN NORMAL VOICE] Not with
these glasses.

- But I better try it with these.
- That's the girl.

We'll be able to stay
one jump ahead of them...

...as long as you have those.

Oh, my. George,
don't step on the--

GEORGE: What?
-The glasses.

Now we have no way of knowing
if they're following us.

Yes, we have, George.

I can see them with these
glasses in real time.

Yow!

[GEORGE] -Do you see them?
- No, I think we've--

Yes, yes, there they are.

Hang on. I'm gonna floor
this thing.

- They're still there?
[JANE] - I think you lost them.

There they are, George.

I'll take a swing
around the moon...

...and maybe we can shake them.

Still there?

JANE: It's hard to tell.

Space is black
and their car is black.

No, they're gone.

We lost them.

Oh, I've never been so relieved
in all my life.

You really didn't think
that anybody could catch up

with old Fiery Flash, did you?

George, we've almost forgotten.
We're rich.

GEORGE: Two hundred thousand
dollars. Whoopee!

Maybe this afternoon
I'll pop down...

...and buy a much bigger
and better space car than this.

And I want to have
the whole apartment redecorated.

Why not wait a day or two until
we take over the penthouse?

Darn right.
And we deserve a little change.

I think we need the penthouse
and the three floors below it.

We do, George.

We'll need
the extra landing pads

for a new car for me
and one for Judy.

Absolutely. This measly landing
space is too small.

[YELPING]

Hi, guys.

You can have all our money.

We don't want all your money.

Really? What do you want?

Don't provoke them, Jane.

We just want
our legitimate share.

- Your share?
- But I don't understand.

We're from the IRS.

You mean
the Interspace Revenue Service?

At your service.

Oh, thank goodness.

I never thought I'd be glad
to see a taxman.

What a relief, George.

This means we don't have
to give the money back.

Whoopee! We're still rich.

Not quite.

Heh-heh-heh. Taxes "R" Us.

Let's see, with income averaging
over three fiscal years...

...minus the capital gain,
there.

And the rest is all yours.

Well, thanks for your
cooperation.

Be seeing you.

How much did they leave us?

Two dollars.

Well, you said we needed
a little change.

And that sure
is a little change.

George, Elroy, Judy.
The glasses I ordered are here.

Oh, boy.

I ordered a pair for each of us
so we can see into the future.

I'm dying to try them.

- Hey, I'm not seeing the future.
- You're not?

I'm seeing someplace where men's
suits have this weird trunk...

...where the head should be.

- That's Bevdayo.
- Or my closet.

Here's yours, George.

These are fluky too.

You're not seeing the future?

Nope. The past.

I'm seeing you hand out the
glasses to Elroy and now to me.

I'll be darned.

Judy, try yours.

Oh, my gosh.
I'm seeing your bones.

These are x-ray glasses.

Well, let's hope mine work.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

What is it, Mom?
Can you see the future?

Yes, I'm seeing
the future, alright.

Oh, this is priceless.

[LAUGHING]

What is so hilarious
in our immediate future?

[CHUCKLES]

That's just it.
It's not the immediate future.

It's the distant future.
You're all ancient.

Ha-ha-ha. This is a scream.

These glasses are priceless.

Oh, wait.

I'll bet this will be
even funnier.

No. It can't be.

[LAUGHING]