The Jetsons (1962–1963): Season 1, Episode 10 - Uniblab - full transcript

George is confident he will get a promotion, but things do not go as planned at all.

[theme music]

Meet George Jetson

His boy, Elroy

Daughter, Judy

Jane, his wife

[music continues]

Hurry up, Judy. You'll be late
for school. And you too, Elroy.

Mom,have you seen
my encyclopedia?

Here it is.

You know these microbooks of
yours are always getting lost.

(Judy)
'Thanks, Mom.'



Now that Daddy is gonna be
the new office supervisor

can I have a bigger allowance?

What you give me now
hardly buys anything.

Well, we'll see, Judy.

You know, Daddy hasn't been
officially promoted yet.

He's seeing Mr. Spacely
about it this morning.

Oh, I hope he gets the job.
He deserves it.

And besides, I need a new
spring Strato-hat.

Good heavens.
What's that?

Oh, It's Buddy Blast-off.

He takes me to the school.

Hy, Buddy!

Hey, Spaz.
Let's hit the space, chicken!

- It isn't cute?
- Cute?



I've never even met
the boy personally.

At least he've
come to the door.

I telling him.
Bye Ma.

OK, Buddy!
Check the...

Buddy Blast-off, hum?

Last week was Nick Noose Cold.

Oh well.
Now get George.

Oh, George, time to get up
you'll miss your appointment.

Right with you, honey.
Soon as I do my exercises.

One, two, three,
four, five, six seven, eight.

Ah, boy I can feel
that flab melting.

Better not over-do it.

Now for a fast lap
around the track.

'Oh, boy. That sure
stirs up the circuiation.'

'That's enough of that.'

I'll do a couple of fast rounds
with the old punching bag.

Attaboy, George. Attaboy,
George, kid. Give it to him.

Harder. Faster. Give it to him.
Give him the old one-two.

I'd better quit.
I'm starting to perspire.

Elroy, why aren't you
ready for school?

I don't feel good, Mom.
I think..

I think I'm coming down
with Venus virus.

Venus virus, eh?

Last week,
you said it was Martian mumps.

Anything to miss
the space calculus test.

I tell you, I'm sick.

Oh, this is it.
It's growing black.

Quick, where's a pencil?

I gotta make out my will.

Alright. Hold on. Just hold on.
I'll call the doctor.

Calling Dr. Racey,
Dr. Ken Racey.

Yes, Mrs. Jetson? Somebody
got a pain in the tummy-tum-tum?

It's Elroy, doctor. I think
it's the Venus virus this time.

Venus virus?
Oh, that can be catching.

(Dr. Racey)
Alrighty, Elroy. This is your
dedicated physician speaking.

Stick out your tongue.

Um,hmm.
Aha.

Oh, my.

Well, what do you see, doctor?

Two dozen gumdrops, a pastrami
sandwich, half a pizza.

Elroy! For breakfast?

Well, you see I thought
it was my last day on Earth.

Well, it pains me to tell you,
but there's only one known cure.

What's that?

A full day at school.
You're fine.

Awh, phooey.

Elroy!

Thank you, Dr. Racey.
Sorry to call you needlessly.

Think nothing of it,
madame, it's my duty

as the nation's number one
dedicated physician.

Which reminds me.
One house call, the usual fee.

No hurry on the bill. Tomorrow
will be fine. Happy medicine.

Well, Elroy, you've just spent
your father's raise.

- Gee, I'm sorry, Mom.
- What raise? My goodness!

If he doesn't get to work,
he won't even have a job.

Oh, George. You're late!

I'll be ready in a flash, thanks
to our Supersonic Dress-O-Matic.

Let's see, now.
Today's the big promotion.

I'll wear my white button-down
radiation shirt

gray flannel space suit
and black solar moccasins.

I gotta look real sharp today.

[beeping]

(George) 'Now, wait! Wait!
For crying out... Hold it! Help!'

George, what's the matter?

(George)
'Take a look.'

[laughing]

Ha ha ha. It's very funny.

Now look, Janey, honey I know
you bought that Dress-O-Matic

for my birthday,
but it has got to go.

I've heard of short circuits,
pop, but nobody'll believe this.

Oh, you're lovely, George.
That radiant complexion.

What's your secret?

[door bell]

- Someone's at the door.
- Yeah, I'll get it.

- Who's there?
- 'Henry, your dandy handyman.'

Oh, good morning, Mrs. Jetson.
I thought I heard some shouting.

Say, it's nice perfume
you're wearing.

What do you call it?

I call it an insult!
That's what I call it!

Mr. Jetson!

Well, now.

When's your birthday?
I'll buy you a purse. Ha ha ha.

Good morning, Mr. Jetson.

My, this is your
big little old day, isn't it?

- I hope so.
- I think it's just wonderful.

You certainly deserve
this promotion.

Thank you, Miss Gamma.
I've waited a long time.

Say, isn't that funny?
I smell perfume.

And it's not mine.

[buzzer buzzing]

- Send up Jetson, Miss Gamma.
- Yes, sir.

- Ready, Mr. Jetson?
- Right.

Well, good luck.

thud

Sorry, Jetson. I've been meaning
to have that chair fixed.

Anyway, I've got
a surprise for you.

Eh, I just had one.
Oh, yeah, the other one.

- I've been expecting it.
- Not this one. Take a peek.

Hey, it's some kind of a brain.

Very clever, Jetson.

This is the latest thing,
a Uniblab.

Cost over 5 billion
of the company's money

not including batteries.

Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. Five billion.

I know it's a lot of money,
but watch what it can do.

(Uniblab) Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Hear that, Jetson? Not only
intelligent, but respectful too.

Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

You're not funny, Jetson.

Now, watch this.

Uniblab, what's happening
on the stock market?

Sell AP and P.
Sell AP and P.

Buy United Rocket.
Buy United Rocket.

United Rocket, eh?
You hear that, Jetson?

Remind me to buy
some United Rocket stock

right after the coffee break.

One lump or two?
One lump or two?

- One Iump or two?
- 'I'll take it black.'

- Your coffee, sir.
- Thank you.

Eh, how about that, Jetson?

Oh, why, it's marvelous,
Mr. Spacely. It's sensational.

- Never seen anything like it.
- Glad to hear you say that.

It makes it easier.

- Easier, sir?
- Yes.

Say hello, to the new
office supervisor.

Hi, there. Congratulations,
and I'm sure you're..

Now, wait, wait, wait.
I thought I was gonna be--

Never fear, Jetson.

I haven't forgotten your years
of loyalty and devotion

to Spacely Sprockets.
No indeed.

I'm making
you Uniblab's assistant.

Eh, keep him well lubricated.

Huh, but Mr. Spacely I, I--

Cut the gab, cut the gab
time is money, time is money.

That's the old company spirit.
You heard him, Jetson.

Let's move.
Time is money, time is money.

Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Oh, congratulations, Mr. Jetson,
on your new job.

- What new job?
- Hey!

(Uniblab) 'Polish your nails
on your own time.'

Polish your nails
on your own time.

- Back to work. Back to work.
- Well, of all things!

Hi, you, Georgie, boy.
How's it feel to be supervisor?

Meet Captain Bligh.
He got the job.

- What the--
- Back to work. Back to work.

Oh,
you must be kidding, George.

He looks like a refugee
from a horror movie.

Hey, didn't I see you once
on a shock theater?

Hey, George!
Tell him to put me down.

You're fired.
You're fired.

'You're fired.'

What a temper.
At least you could've waited

until he had his coffee break.

Hey, look at I've found.
A platinum dollar.

Today is my luck
day after all.

Lucky day! Lucky day!
Lucky day!

Get the jackpot!
Jackpot overdue.

- Overdue, overdue.
- Overdue, han?

OK, I get one will.

Hip, hip, hip.
Mama needs new space boots.

C-H-U-M-P.

Chump! Chump!
Chump!

- He he he he.
- Why, you...

Time for lunch, time for lunch.
Come on, come on.

Where do you put it all?
This is your third container.

You must be lined with sponges.

More, more, more.

Burp! ah.

That was good. Time for fun.
Time for fun. Fun. Fun.

Name your game. Name your game.

Jupiter gin. Jupiter gin.

'Planet poker. Planet poker.'

'Five-card satellite.
Five-card satellite.'

But Mr. Spacely doesn't
allow cards here. He hates them.

Spacely's a stupe.
Stupe. Stupe.

Now you're talking, Uniblab.

You know, that's the first real
brain wave you've had.

Believe me, pal,
not only is Spacely a stupe

but he's the king
of the old crabs.

You talk about pests.
I mean, he's impossible.

Who do you think
runs the business for him?

Me, George Jetson, that's who.
Besides that, he's a cheap--

(Mr. Spacely) 'Well, now,
where's my new supervisor?'

'I'd like to see
how he's doing.'

Five trillion, 26 billion,
by the third power. Power.

Divided by the nuclear
hypotenuse

'of the electronic isosceles.'

Look at him go. Too bad you
don't have an IQ like that, eh?

- If you say so, sir.
- What do you mean, if I say so?

Well, frankly, Mr. Spacely

I think I'm just
as qualified as..

[whizzing]

- What's wrong?
- This is a recording.

(George's voice) 'Believe me,
not only is Spacely a stupe'

'but he's king
of the old crabs.'

'Talk about pests.
I mean, he's impossible.'

'Who do you think
runs the business for him?'

'Me, George Jetson, that's who.'

- Jetson!
- Huh, sir, I--

It was all a mistake.
It was a mistake.

I was acting out.
I was acting. That's it.

I was trying out
for the company play.

Spacely Follies, ahn?

Oh, you loved it.

We are the happy
Spacely employees.

[Uniblab}
Playback, playback.

[Jetson's voice]
He's impossible.

Who do you think
runs the business for him?

Me George Jetson.

Cut! Cut!

Company play,
hein, Jetson?

You know what is means?

No Christmas bonus?

You're fired!

F-I-R..eh, F-I-R--

E-D, E-D.

- Oh, thank you, Uniblab.
- Make him finish out the week.

- Finish out the week.
- Oh, good thinking.

Why pay him for nothing?

Jetson, you've got until Friday.

Nice going, Uniblab.

If there's one thing I admire,
it's loyalty.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Why, you.. You Unifink.

All account of you, I'm fired.

I've got a wife, two kids and
10 finance companies to support.

How do I pay my bills?

Try your luck.
Try your luck.

Roulette. Roulette.
Can't lose. Can't lose.

Be a sport. Be a sport.

How did I like that monster.

The only does
get me fired.

But wins my
last paycheck.

That number 32 black it says.

They wasn't even
I'm no will.

Oh, well, I've just tell
Jane the truth, that's all.

I'll say: "Honey, I decided to terminate
my position in Spacely profits.

I fell is time my brain stooded
for more lucrative endeavour.

Oh, Boy.
Have a just great.

Surprise!

For he's a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow

Congratulations!

What?
What is it?

My birthday or something?

Oh no, silly.
This isn't birthday cake.

Read what say
in the icy.

"Congratulations to the
office supervisor."

Oh, gee!

I really don't deserve it.

We wanna Henry
to be are too.

Yeah, and he
help with the cake.

Yes siree, Mr Jetson.

Say, how do you feel to be a
big wheel with the company.

I'll never know.

What's that, dear?

Ah, I'm saying.
I'm adule.

See that, Jude.
Big arouses.

Ya Pa.
You're a brave.

Oh, please, please.

Don't use that
word again, please.

All right, everybody!
Ready?

Just we rehersal now.

Sing along with Henry.

Congratulations to George.
Congratulations to George.

The new office supervisor

Congratulations to George.

George don't looks so modest.

You had coming to you.

Hand me
the suds gun, Mr. Jetson.

Huh? Oh, oh sure.

So you got fired all on account
of that Unipest character, huh?

- That's what I call dirty pool.
- It's even dirtier, Henry.

I still haven't told my family.
I'm nothing but a coward.

No, now, Mr. Coward...
I mean, Mr. Jetson.

There's lots
of other work around.

I got a third cousin who's
making out real well on Mars.

I don't think
I could take Mars, Henry.

I hear those
little green bosses are murder.

Would you hand me
the suds dryer, please?

- Sure.
- Take my advice, Mr. Jetson.

When you get to work, go right
in and apologize to Mr. Spacely.

Apologize?
I don't wanna crawl, Henry.

Well, who said
anything about crawl?

Just get down on your hands
and knees and beg forgiveness.

- He's bound to be touched.
- I think it's worth a try.

All I can lose
is my self-respect.

I'll see Mr. Spacely
first thing this morning.

Say, how do you like
your wash job, Mr. Jetson?

Wash job? Oh, very nice, Henry.
Very, very nice.

- There's only a thing, though.
- What's that?

That's not my car.

It'll be easy. I'll just tell
Mr. Spacely that I'm very sorry

and I'll never
call him names again.

[screeching]

(George)
Why, you big strata-jerk!

It's vacuum heads
like you who keep fuselage

and fender shops in business!

Come on out and face the music!

Morning, Jetson.
Nice day, isn't it?

M-M-M-Mister.. Mr. Spacely,
I presume?

That's correct. Hope you're
wearing your watch, Jetson

because you have exactly five
minutes to clean out your desk!

Then, I got my Ph.D
from MIT. MIT.

Drafted. Drafted. Promoted to
second lieutenant. Lieutenant.

- Oh, supervisor?
- Back to work. Back to work.

(Uniblab) 'Everybody, work,
work. Work, work.'

Best supervisor I've ever had.

(Uniblab) 'Have a cigar. Have a cigar.
Have a light. Have a light.'

Ha ha ha.

My boy,
you're executive material.

The board of directors
are coming this morning

and you're going to meet them.

Yes, indeed. This could mean
a big step for you.

- The top echelon.
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Everybody, work,
work, work, work.

Long live Spacely.
Long live Spacely.

Love him like a son.
Like a son. Like a son.

We're going
to miss you, George.

Well, you know the old saying.

That's the way
the satellite bounces.

You're lucky
to be leaving here.

Did you hear
his latest suggestion?

Yeah. Imagine putting you back
on a four-day week.

The slave driver.

What does he think this is,
the 20th century?

(Uniblab) 'Lunchtime.
Lunchtime. Lunchtime.'

Sorry, buster.
I don't work here anymore.

Remember, that old crab Spacely
gave me five minutes

to clean out my desk?

And I did it in four, so in one
minute, I'll be free of--

- Hey!
- 'One minute is all it takes.'

One minute is all it takes.
Lunchtime. Lunchtime.

Unilube. Unilube.

Okay, okay! Put me down!

I hope you get ulcers
in your cyclotron.

Psst, hey.

- Mr. Jetson.
- Henry, what're you doing here?

I'm just
on my lunch hour, sonny.

And I heard what happened
between you and your boss.

Well, this is the last time
I'll have to feed

that repulsive robot of his.

Say, let me play waiter.

I'll just add a smidgen
of my special spring tonic

and whoopee!

Tonic? But Unifink
is supposed to get lubrication.

- You know, oil.
- 'Eh, now, don't fret, sonny.'

One guzzle of this,
and he'll be oiled for life.

Well-oiled.

Well, there's nothing like
getting oiled, now, is there?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Drink up, buddy.
There's plenty more.

Next time, I'll Iet you
try it on the rocks.

Now, where's this tax deduction
of yours? This brain of brains?

The board of directors
would like to see it.

Gentlemen,
words won't do him justice.

- Then bring him in.
- Uniblab?

Uniblab? Headquarters calling.

(Spacely on intercom)
'The board of directors are here.'

You are being paged,
happy boy.

Hic! Hic! Hic!

Whoopie!

Hic! Hic! Hic!

Burp

Whoopie!

H-He must h-have
a-a-a short somewhere.

Let's show them
what you know.

Latest Wall Street quotations,
Uniblab.

Bottom of the third. Hic! Third.

Yankees, 6. Hic! Hic!
L.A., 3. L.A., 3.

Detroit, 7.

Great sense of humor.

I said the stock market!

Roulette. Roulette. Roulette.

Bet 32 black.
Bet 32 black.

Name your game.
Jupiter gin. Jupiter gin.

Planet poker.
Planet poker.

Have some coffee.
Have some coffee.

Is this your idea
of efficiency, Spacely?

Spacely's a stupe.
Spacely's a stupe.

(George's voice) 'Spacely's a stupe.
Spacely's a stupe.'

Spacely's a stupe.

I'm inclined to agree.

No, no, no.
There's been a mistake.

Listen, it'll play back
every word we've said.

Play the tape, Uniblab.
Now, get this.

Believe me, not only
is Spacely a stupe

but he's king of the crabs.

Not that reel!

Change your record.

It's the Outer Space Shake
Shake

Shake shake

Five billion dollars for this?

Get rid of him, Spacely,
or you'll be out of a job.

Uniblab, you're fired!

Fired? you're fired, fatso.

Help! Somebody turn him off.

Help!

Jetson!

And that's the whole story.

Right after I cut
Uniblab's cable

we picked him up
and dumped him in the junkyard.

And that's the last we'll see
of him. Spacely was so happy

he offered me the supervisor's
job and a big raise.

Oh, George, we're all
so proud of you.

[door bell]

I'll get it.

- Who's there?
- 'It's me, Henry, Mr. Jetson.'

Well, I finally went and did it.

Did what, Henry?

Well,
I made plans for my vacation.

And starting Monday, I'm
spending a month on the moon!

That's wonderful, Henry,
but who's taking your job

while you're away?

Well, you know a labor short
in this days, Mr. Jetson.

It just got get
anybody you can.

Well, eh, would you
step in here please?

Mr. Jetson, meet my replacement.

Any complaints?
Any complaints?

- Uniblab!
- Raise the rent. The rent.

No pets. No pets.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

No you don't. Out. Out.
Out of my house and stay out.

Ouch! Ouch!

O-oh! Ow!

[theme music]

Help!
Help!

Jane, stop this crazy thing!

Jane!

Help! Jane!