The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 5, Episode 4 - How Slowly They Forget - full transcript

♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪

♪ IN THE SKY ♪

♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪



♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪

♪ BEANS DON'T BURN
ON THE GRILL ♪

♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪

THAT HILL ♪
GET UP
♪ JUST TO

♪ NOW WE'RE UP
IN THE BIG LEAGUES ♪

♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪

♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪

♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪

♪ THERE AIN'T
NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT ♪

♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪



♪ IN THE SKY ♪

♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪

♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪♪

HOW'S IT GOING?

I DIDN'T REALIZE
MOVING THE HELP CENTER

WOULD INVOLVE
SO MUCH WORK.

YEAH.
THERE'S ENOUGH PAPER HERE

TO HOUSEBREAK AN ELEPHANT.

HEY, WEEZ.

HEY, GEORGE.

DON'T CALL ME "GEORGE."

WHY?
DID YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME?

I'D LIKE TO CHANGE
YOUR ADDRESS.

MAKE UP WITH YOUR FATHER
AND MOVE BACK UPSTAIRS.

I LOVE MY FATHER,

BUT SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO LIVE
WITH SOMEONE YOU LOVE.

IT SURE IS.

IF I'M IN THE WAY...

LET ALLAN WORK THINGS OUT
HIS OWN WAY.

MEANWHILE,
HE'LL STAY HERE.

CAN'T HE
GO GET A JOB?

HE'S WORKING
AT ORGANIZING...

THE HELP CENTER MOVE
TO THE NEW BUILDING.

IF HE'S GOOD AT MOVING,
WHY'S HE STILL HERE?

FLORENCE!

SHE'S OUT.

OUT?
WHAT ABOUT LUNCH?

SHE MADE
SOME SANDWICHES.

EVERY TIME
SHE FIXES SOMETHING,

SHE HIDES IT BETWEEN
TWO SLICES OF BREAD.

STOP COMPLAINING.

OUR LAST HOT MEAL

WAS WHEN A CANDLE
FELL IN THE JELL-O.

YOU'RE IN A BAD MOOD.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT LOCKING UP
THAT SIMPSON ACCOUNT.

I'LL GET IT.

YOU SURE GET UPTIGHT
ABOUT MONEY.

SO WOULD YOU
IF YOU HAD TO EARN IT.

HELEN.

MOM.

HI, ALLAN, HONEY.

I'VE GOT BAD NEWS.

WHAT?

ANDREWS SAID TO LEAVE
THE OLD HELP CENTER BUILDING
THIS WEEK.

HE SAID WE COULD
TAKE OUR TIME.

NOW HE'S SAYING
TAKE A WALK.

WE HAVEN'T GOT
THE HEALTH PERMIT YET.

HE SAID "TOUGH."

MAYBE WE CAN GET
THAT PERMIT SOONER.

I'VE ALREADY TRIED
AT CITY HALL.

COULDN'T THEY MAKE
AN EXCEPTION?

CITY HALL DOESN'T
MAKE EXCEPTIONS.

THEY JUST MAKE
COFFEE.

WHAT?

THAT'S HOW
BUREAUCRACY WORKS.

I KNOW THE ROPES.

YOU CAN BEAT
THE SYSTEM?

YOU SAY
"BEAT THE SYSTEM."

I SAY "USE IT."

USE?

HOW ELSE DID I BECOME
WHAT I AM?

POOR DIET.

YOU CAN GET
THAT HEALTH PERMIT?

DON'T SEND A BOY
TO DO A MAN'S JOB.

YOU COULD DO BETTER?

I'M GOING DOWNTOWN
TO CINCH THAT
SIMPSON ACCOUNT.

I'LL STOP
AT CITY HALL
FOR YOUR PERMIT.

CAN YOU REALLY
DO THAT?

NO WAY.

I'LL USE MY PERSONALITY
AND KNOW-HOW.

JUST STICK
TO YOUR KNOW-HOW.

I CALLED
THE HEAD MAN,

A DUDE NAMED
MAYFLOWER.

HE SAID
THEY DON'T...

DID YOU SAY
MAYFLOWER?

YEAH. WHY?

WHAT'S HIS FIRST NAME?

CORNELIUS.

CORNELIUS X. MAYFLOWER.

CORNELIUS X. MAYFLOWER!

THIS WILL BE EASY.

DO YOU KNOW HIM?

NO, BUT WITH A NAME
LIKE THAT,

HE'S GOT TO BE
A PUSHOVER.

WEEZY,
I'LL GET THAT PERMIT.

GREAT!

GOOD LUCK, GEORGE.

CALL ME
MR. JEFFERSON.

GET US THAT PERMIT,

I'LL CALL YOU
ANYTHING YOU WANT.

CALL ME FROM ALASKA.

GUESS WHO.

WHAT?

HERE'S A CLUE...

♪ WE WERE THE WORST COOKS
IN THE NAVY ♪

♪ I BURNT MEAT,
YOU BURNT GRAVY ♪

♪ OUR SHIP WAS
THE VALLEY FORGE ♪

♪ THEY CALLED YOU CORNY,
THEY CALLED ME... ♪

GEORGE!

GEORGE JEFFERSON!

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

YOU BETTER,
BECAUSE IT'S ME.

HOW YOU DOIN'?

HOW DO I LOOK?

I WAS HOPIN'
YOU WAS DOIN'
BETTER THAN THAT.

ALL RIGHT...

♪ THE 7th FLEET,
THE 7th FLEET ♪

♪ WE'RE THE ONES
THAT CAN'T BE BEAT ♪♪

YOU OLD
SCALLYWAG.

YOU'RE LOOKING
GOOD.

MUST NOT BE EATING
YOUR OWN COOKING.

WHAT YOU UP TO
THESE DAYS?

I OWN JEFFERSON CLEANERS.

YOU OWN
THE JEFFERSON CLEANERS?

RIGHT.

NEVER HEARD OF IT.

I CAN TELL BY YOUR SUIT.

WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE?

I WAS DOWN THE STREET...

HOW DID YOU
FIND ME?

MY WIFE CALLED YOUR OFFICE
FOR A HEALTH PERMIT.

WIFE?

YOU FOUND SOMEBODY
WHO'D MARRY YOU?

IN THE NAVY,
YOU ONLY GOT MAIL
FROM DUMB DORIS.

WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO THAT LOSER?

I MARRIED HER.

SHE HAD
A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR...

ALWAYS PRETENDING
TO BE DUMB.

HOW'S SHE DOING?

I DIVORCED HER
10 YEARS AGO.

GOOD.
YOU'RE BETTER OFF
WITHOUT THAT DUMMY.

YOUR WIFE NEEDS
A HEALTH PERMIT?

THE HELP CENTER
SHE'S WORKING IN
IS MOVING.

I WAS WONDERING
IF...

IF I COULD CUT THROUGH
THE RED TAPE?

YEAH.

TAKE CARE OF IT
FOR YOU.

SEEING YOU AGAIN
BRINGS BACK MEMORIES.

"HELP CENTER."

YOU REMEMBER
THE CRAZY THINGS

WE DID
ON THAT SHIP?

LIKE WHEN
WE PUT THAT BOURBON
IN THE PANCAKE SYRUP?

HALF THE SHIP
GOT DRUNK.

THE LIEUTENANT
ASKED WHAT HAPPENED.

YOU SAID, "NOTHING.
THE MEN MUST BE
SEASICK."

WHICH WAS
A DUMB THING TO SAY.

WHY?

THEY COULDN'T BE
SEASICK.

WE WAS
IN DRY DOCK.

REMEMBER THAT
PETTY OFFICER LARKIN?

YEAH,
THAT HONKY.

MADE US SCRUB THE DECK
WITH TOOTHBRUSHES.

I GOT HIM GOOD.

DID YOU GET HIM,
GEORGE?

HE WAS VISITING
HIS WIFE.

I SENT FLOWERS
TO HIS ROOM.

ON THE CARD I PUT,

"STEVEN,
YOU'RE THE GREATEST.
LOVE, DOREEN."

SO?

HIS WIFE'S
NAME WAS NANCY.

HERE'S YOUR WIFE'S
PERMIT.

THANKS.

I ALMOST FORGOT
YOUR PRACTICAL JOKES.

YOU PROBABLY GOT
EVERYBODY ON THAT SHIP

EXCEPT ME.

I TRIED.

REALLY?

I HID A WIG AND A DRESS
IN YOUR LOCKER.

YOU DID?

I FIGURED YOU'D
THINK IT WAS FUNNY.

I DIDN'T
FIND THEM.

THE CAPTAIN
DID.

THE CAPTAIN?

HE PULLED
A SURPRISE INSPECTION
AFTER YOU SHIPPED OUT.

THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING
I EVER HEARD.

IT WAS REAL FUNNY.

EVERYBODY
ON THE SHIP
WAS CALLING ME

MAYFLOWER
THE GAY FLOWER.

ONE SUCKER
EVEN SENT ME
A CORSAGE.

I'M SORRY
I MISSED IT.

YOU COULD HAVE
HELPED ME EXPLAIN

TO THE SHIP'S PSYCHIATRIST.

HE THOUGHT I LIKED
TO WEAR WOMEN'S CLOTHES.

WHAT A DRAG!

I MEAN,
A SHAME.

I EVEN LOST
A PROMOTION.

IT AIN'T FUNNY,
JEFFERSON!

HEY, CORNY.
IT WAS A JOKE.

IT WAS
A BAD JOKE.

YOU SAWED-OFF
RUNT!

WHO YOU CALLING
SAWED-OFF RUNT?

YOU.

I WON'T TAKE
THAT FROM YOU.

YOU AIN'T GOT TO
TAKE NOTHIN' FROM ME,

INCLUDING THE PERMIT.

BIG DEAL!

YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON
I'D TAKE A FAVOR FROM.

AND THE LAST
YOU'D GET ONE FROM.

I'LL GO OVER YOUR HEAD.

YOU COULDN'T DO THAT
ON A LADDER.

YOU'RE A TWO-BIT
PENCIL PUSHER.

PENCIL PUSHER?

THAT DOES IT.

WHAT YOU SAY TO THAT?

WHO CARES?

I HOPE
YOUR WIFE AGREES.

IT'LL BE A SAFE NIGHT
IN CENTRAL PARK

BEFORE SHE GETS
A PERMIT.

NOW, GET OUT!

HEY.

THERE YOU ARE.

WELL?

YOUR KISSES ARE JUST
AS DYNAMITE AS EVER.

DID YOU GET IT?

"GET IT"?
DID SOMEBODY TELL A JOKE?

THE PERMIT.

OH, THAT.

THE BIG WHEEL
NEVER GOT ROLLIN'?

WHAT WENT WRONG?

NOTHING, JUST SOME PIECES
HAVE TO BE PUT TOGETHER.

DID YOU TALK
TO MAYFLOWER?

YES.

DO WE STILL HAVE
TO WAIT FOUR WEEKS?

NO, YOU DON'T.

YOU GOT IT!
THANK YOU!

THAT'S TERRIFIC!

WE'VE GOT LOTS TO DO.

WAIT.

IS SOMETHING WRONG?

NO.

I KNOW WHEN SOMETHING'S
BOTHERING YOU.

OKAY.

A DEAL FELL THROUGH.

GEORGE...

IT WASN'T MY FAULT.

YOU DIDN'T GET
THE SIMPSON ACCOUNT.

HUH?

THAT ACCOUNT
WAS IMPORTANT TO YOU.

WEEZY...

IF WE DIDN'T GET
THAT PERMIT,

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'D DO.

NO?

WHERE'S THE PERMIT?

I LEFT IT
DOWNSTAIRS.

I'LL GET IT.

GEORGE,
YOU'RE WONDERFUL!

AND ALLAN DIDN'T THINK
YOU COULD DO IT.

I GUESS
I WAS WRONG.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT
THAT SIMPSON ACCOUNT.

AT LEAST
YOU GOT THE PERMIT.

JUST THINK...
THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE

DEPENDING ON
THE HELP CENTER.

HUNDREDS?

THOUSANDS.

THEY'LL LOOK AT YOU
AND SAY,

"HE DID IT."

MR. JEFFERSON.
HOW'S IT GOING?

GIVE ME A DOUBLE.

TROUBLE AT WORK?

NO, TROUBLE AT HOME.

I'LL MAKE THAT A TRIPLE.

HELLO, MR. J.

CARE FOR SOME
COMPANY?

NO!

THANK YOU.

IMBIBING?

NO, JUST DRINKING.

YOU SEEM TROUBLED.
YOU WANT TO UNBURDEN YOURSELF?

YEAH.
BYE, BENTLEY!

SOMETIMES IT HELPS
TO GET THINGS
OFF YOUR CHEST.

IT'S NO
BIG THING.

THEN IT
WON'T TAKE LONG.

I HAVE TO
TELL SOMEBODY
SOMETHING

THAT WILL
MAKE THEM MAD.

OH, YOU'RE THE HARBINGER
OF ILL TIDINGS.

NO!

I JUST GOT TO TELL
WEEZY BAD NEWS.

YOU KNOW WHAT
THEY SAY...

HONESTY IS
THE BEST POLICY.

NO.
WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW
WON'T HURT YOU.

FACE THE MUSIC
AND BE DONE WITH IT.

BUT DISCRETION
IS THE BETTER PART
OF VALOR.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH,
THE TOUGH GET GOING.

FOOLS RUSH IN
WHERE WISE MEN
FEAR TO TREAD.

THERE'S NO
SAFETY IN HIDING.

BETTER SAFE
THAN SORRY.

THE TRUTH WILL OUT.

AND THE TRUTH HURTS.

HE WHO HESITATES
IS LOST.

LOOK BEFORE
YOU LEAP.

LIES BEGET LIES.

KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
YOU'LL NEVER
PUT YOUR FOOT IN IT.

ZA PRAVDU VAS LYUBLYU.

HUH?
HUH?

IT'S A RUSSIAN PROVERB.

I GOT A BLACK PROVERB.

WHEN YOU HEAR
TWO TURKEYS TALKING,

IT'S TIME TO BE WALKING.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

I TALKED TO
THE MOVERS.

TOMORROW
WE'LL BE IN
OUR NEW BUILDING!

YOU'RE A BORN
ORGANIZER.

WE COULDN'T
HAVE DONE THIS
WITHOUT YOU.

THANKS.
BUT REMEMBER,

MR. JEFFERSON
GOT THE PERMIT.

GEORGE WON'T
LET US FORGET IT.

I THOUGHT THIS WAS
THE JEFFERSON APARTMENT.

IT IS.
I'M ALLAN WILLIS.

CORNELIUS MAYFLOWER.

I'M LOUISE JEFFERSON.
COME IN.

THANK YOU.

IS YOUR HUSBAND HERE?

NO, BUT HE SHOULD
BE HOME SOON.

I SUPPOSE HE TOLD YOU
ABOUT THE PERMIT.

YES.

WELL, I'VE DONE
SOME THINKING.

I'VE CHANGED MY MIND
ABOUT GIVING YOU THE PERMIT.

WHAT?
WHAT?

WHAT I DID TODAY
WAS WRONG.

BUT YOU'RE
IN CHARGE.

I CAN'T LET MY FEELINGS
INFLUENCE MY DECISIONS,

SO I DECIDED
TO GIVE YOU THE PERMIT.

COULDN'T YOU
BEND THE RULE?

HUH?

HERE'S YOUR PERMIT.
AND GOOD LUCK.

DIDN'T YOU GIVE GEORGE
THE PERMIT?

YES.

BUT WE ARGUED
ABOUT OUR NAVY DAYS.

I TORE IT UP.

YOUR NAVY DAYS?

GEORGE DIDN'T GET
THE PERMIT?

I'M AFRAID
HE DIDN'T.

THE WHOLE THING'S
GIVEN ME A HEADACHE.

COULD I HAVE
SOME WATER?

SURE,
RIGHT THIS WAY.

I LET GEORGE
GET THE BEST OF ME.

WHEN HE GETS HOME,
HE'LL GET THE WORST
OF ME.

I CAN'T BELIEVE GEORGE
PULLED SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

THAT'S BECAUSE
YOU'VE ONLY LIVED HERE
A WEEK.

HEY, WEEZ.

THERE YOU ARE.

LOOK, WEEZY.

YOU THOUGHT
I WAS UPSET ABOUT
THE SIMPSON ACCOUNT.

YES?

I WASN'T TELLING
THE TRUTH.

WHAT IS THE TRUTH?

THE TRUTH IS...

I DID GET
THE SIMPSON ACCOUNT!

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE
YOU WANT TO TELL ME?

ANYTHING ELSE?

I MIGHT GET
THE PEABODY ACCOUNT.

DO YOU HAVE
THE PERMIT?

PERMIT?

LOOK, WEEZY.

ABOUT THE PERMIT...

WE KNOW
ABOUT IT.

WHAT?

MR. MAYFLOWER
TOLD US...

MAYFLOWER?

THAT NO-GOOD
JIVE TURKEY!

DID HE SAY
IT WAS MY FAULT?

THAT FATHEADED
PENCIL PUSHER!

NOW I KNOW WHY
I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN.

HE GOT MAD
BECAUSE I HID
A DRESS IN HIS LOCKER.

HE PROBABLY GOT MAD
BECAUSE IT DIDN'T FIT.

HE ALWAYS WAS STRANGE.

MR. JEFFERSON...

IF I EVER SEE
MAYFLOWER AGAIN...

WHY THE HELL
ARE YOU HERE?

I CAME TO HELP.

BUT I WAS
WASTING MY TIME.

MR. MAYFLOWER...

LAST TIME
I'LL HELP A FOOL.

FOOL?

YOU AIN'T HELPED ME.

I BROUGHT THE PERMIT.

YOU OWE ME ONE.

I DON'T OWE YOU
NOTHIN'.

WE DON'T NEED HIM.

YOU ARE A JACKASS!

I'VE HIT MEN
FOR LESS.

IN THE KNEECAP?

THAT DID IT!

I'LL BEAT YOU
WITH ONE HAND
TIED BEHIND MY BACK.

I'LL KNOCK SO MANY
TEETH LOOSE,

YOUR HEAD WILL RATTLE.

I SAVED YOU
FROM THOSE MARINES
IN HONG KONG.

YOU COULDN'T HAVE.

YOU WAS HIDING
UNDER THE TABLE.

ME? HIDING?

NO MARINE
SCARES GEORGE JEFFERSON.

WAIT A MINUTE!

YOU TALKING ABOUT
U.S. MARINES?

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT.

WHY WERE YOU
FIGHTING THEM?

WHERE DID HE
COME FROM?

SAILORS ALWAYS
FIGHT MARINES.

IT'S TRADITION.

RIGHT.

IT SOUNDS LIKE
A DUMB TRADITION.

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN
IN THE SERVICE.

WELL, I WOULD HAVE DONE
THINGS DIFFERENTLY.

THAT'S BECAUSE

YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE

TO BE IN THE SERVICE
AND BE BLACK.

YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT'S LIKE

BEIN' NOWHERE
AND BEING BLACK.

MR. MAYFLOWER,
ALLAN IS BLACK.

SAY WHAT?

HIS MOTHER'S A SISTER,
BUT HIS FATHER AIN'T NO BROTHER.

ONE OF THEM ZEBRAS!

IT COULDN'T BE THAT BAD
BEING BLACK

AND BEING IN
THE SERVICE.

NO. I THINK THEY'RE
EXAGGERATING.

I DON'T BELIEVE
GEORGE'S NAVY STORIES
ANYWAY.

YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD WHAT
THOSE HONKY OFFICERS SAID.

ABOUT TRACING YOUR FAMILY TREE
TO WHEN YOUR ANCESTORS
SWUNG IN IT?

COOL IT!

HE THINKS
PLAID IS BEAUTIFUL.

REMEMBER A HONKY
WANTED TO MEET YOUR SISTER?

HE MET MY FISTS.

YOU WAS MY BUDDY.

WAS?

WE'RE STILL BUDDIES.

♪ 7th FLEET,
7th FLEET ♪

♪ WE'RE THE ONES
THAT CAN'T BE BEAT ♪♪

MR. MAYFLOWER,
ABOUT THAT PERMIT...

DON'T WORRY,
MRS. JEFFERSON.

HAVE IT FOR YOU
TOMORROW.

YOU HANDLED
THAT WELL.

WE WERE LUCKY.

MR. JEFFERSON
HAS ONE GOOD QUALITY.

BLACK PRIDE.

RIGHT ON!

REMEMBER THAT WEEKEND
WE GOT DRUNK
IN SINGAPORE?

THEM TWO GIRLS
HAD TO HELP US TO THE HOTEL.

YOU NEVER TOLD ME
ABOUT THAT, GEORGE.

HE DIDN'T?

WE HAD A BALL!

DIG YOURSELF, CORNY.

A WHOLE WEEKEND
IN SINGAPORE?

SATURDAY, SUNDAY,
AND MONDAY CONTINUED.

HEY, CORNY.

TWO GIRLS
TOOK YOU HOME?

ALL THE WAY.

ALL THE WAY?

THEY WERE TWO NURSES.

ME AND CORNY
WEREN'T FEELING GOOD.

WE WAS FEELING
GREAT!

GREAT, HUH?

THE JEFFERSONS WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.

Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.