The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 5, Episode 18 - The Other Woman - full transcript
Is it business or pleasure?
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T BURN
ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
THAT HILL ♪
GET UP
♪ JUST TO
♪ NOW WE'RE UP
IN THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪
♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T
NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪♪
EDITING THIS NEWSLETTER'S
TAKING A LOT OF TIME.
AT LEAST WE HAVE
MR. BENTLEY'S
ELECTRIC TYPEWRITER.
IT TYPES A LOT FASTER
THAN MY OLD MANUAL.
♪ EVERY TIME IT SNOWS
IT SNOWS ♪
♪ PENNIES FROM HEAVEN ♪
DON'T YOU MEAN
"EVERY TIME IT RAINS?"
THAT TOO.
RIGHT NOW
IT'S SNOWING.
SNOW MEANS SLUSH.
SLUSH MEANS
DIRTY CLOTHES.
DIRTY CLOTHES MEANS
♪ PENNIES FROM HEAVEN
FOR YOU AND ME ♪
WHAT WE HAVIN'
FOR LUNCH?
DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU.
I'M HAVING
SPLIT-PEA SOUP.
LOOKS THIN.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE PEAS?
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE THEY SPLIT.
SPLIT INTO
THE KITCHEN. FIND ME
SOMETHIN' TO EAT.
AS SOON AS I FINISH
MY SOUP.
CAN'T WORK ON
AN EMPTY STOMACH.
YOU CAN'T WORK
ON NO KINDA
STOMACH.
SPEAKING OF STOMACHS.
IS HELEN HERE?
UNFORTUNATELY.
GREAT NEWS.
JACK FOREMAN'S
GOT THE FLU.
- WHAT?
- THE COMPANY'S SENDING ME
TO THE CONVENTION!
FOUR BEAUTIFUL DAYS
IN SUNNY ACAPULCO.
- THAT'S NICE.
- YOU'RE GOING WITH ME!
THAT'S TERRIFIC!
- WHEN ARE YOU LEAVING?
- THIS AFTERNOON!
IF YOU START PACKING,
I CAN START READING THIS.
IT'S THE BOOK
I'M PROMOTING
AT THE CONVENTION.
HOW TO MAKE
YOUR MAN HAPPY?
MAYBE I OUGHTA READ THAT.
I KNOW HOW YOU CAN
MAKE A MAN HAPPY.
KEEP AWAY FROM 'EM.
EXCUSE ME, Y'ALL.
I BETTER GET
MR. JEFFERSON
HIS PEA SOUP.
SHOULD GO PERFECT
WITH HIS PEA BRAIN.
IS THIS FOR REAL?
LISTEN TO THIS.
OBEDIENCE IN A WIFE
IS AS IMPORTANT
AS IN A DOG.
I DON'T AGREE WITH THAT.
I HOPE NOT.
I THINK IT'S
MORE IMPORTANT.
YOU'RE ACTUALLY
GOING TO PROMOTE THIS BOOK?
SURE.
IT'S ALL SEXIST NONSENSE.
IT'S ALSO MY JOB.
I MUST SUPPORT YOU.
ME?
YES.
ARE YOU SAYING
THAT A WOMAN
NEEDS A MAN
TO SUPPORT HER?
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
COME ON.
OUR PLANE LEAVES SOON.
I'M NOT GOING TO ACAPULCO
WITH A CHAUVINIST.
I THOUGHT TOM
WAS AN EPISCOPALIAN.
I'M NOT
A CHAUVINIST.
WHY ARE YOU PROMOTING
THAT CHAUVINISTIC BOOK?
WE CAN TALK
ABOUT THIS LATER.
STOP ACTING SILLY.
WHY DON'T YOU GO
TO ACAPULCO BY YOURSELF?
I WANT YOU TO COME.
I DON'T DO SO WELL
BY MYSELF.
DO WHAT?
THAT'S PRECISELY
THE POINT.
SO THAT'S WHY
YOU WANT ME ALONG.
NO, THANK YOU, TOM.
HELEN, I'M GOING
TO PICK UP THE TICKETS.
ARE YOU
COMING WITH ME?
I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO
THAN MAKE MY MAN HAPPY.
WELL!
I'M SORRY YOU
FEEL THAT WAY.
DO YOU WANT ME
TO GET ANYTHING IN MEXICO?
YEAH.
MONTEZUMA'S REVENGE.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING?
I'M NOT TRAVELING
WITH A HYPOCRITE.
CALLING TOM A HYPOCRITE
IS GOING TOO FAR.
YEAH.
JUST CALL HIM A HIPPO.
SEND HIM IN, PLEASE.
I THOUGHT YOU'D
TAKEN OFF BY NOW.
YOU PROBABLY DECIDED
TO WAIT FOR THE PLANE.
I JUST STOPPED BY
FOR THE TICKETS.
I GUESS
THE LITTLE LADY'S
EXCITED.
SHE HAS SOME WORK,
SO SHE'S NOT GOING.
I WAS HOPING
MY WIFE
COULD SPEND SOME
TIME WITH HELEN
SO I COULD HAVE
A LITTLE TIME
FOR MYSELF.
I'M SORRY, J.R.
SINCE HELEN ISN'T GOING,
I HAVE A THOUGHT.
YOU KNOW JUDY SMITH
IN THE SECRETARIAL POOL?
YES. I'VE SEEN HER.
SHE'S HARD TO MISS.
IT MIGHT BE NICE
TO HAVE HER ALONG
AT THE CONVENTION.
I UNDERSTAND, J.R.
SHE'S A VERY DEVOTED...
EMPLOYEE.
SHE'S WILLING
TO WORK NIGHTS
AND SOMETIMES
WEEKENDS.
RIGHT!
LOOK AT THE TIME!
I HAVE
ANOTHER THOUGHT.
I MIGHT SEND
MISS SMITH ALONG
AS YOUR ASSISTANT.
I WON'T HAVE ENOUGH
FOR HER TO DO.
I WILL.
IF MISS SMITH
IS WITH YOU,
MY WIFE WILL NEVER
KNOW A THING.
HOW'S THAT SOUND, TOM?
FRANKLY, IT SOUNDS
LIKE CHEATING.
DON'T DEFINE IT!
JUST DO IT.
WITH ALL RESPECT,
I'D RATHER NOT.
OH.
OK, TOM.
YOUR DECISION.
I RESPECT THAT.
YOU'RE A VICE PRESIDENT, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
LAST TIME I COUNTED,
THERE WERE
FIVE OTHER VICE PRESIDENTS.
RIGHT.
TOM, YOU KNOW,
I'VE ALWAYS
ADMIRED YOUR WORK.
I'M GOING TO RETIRE SOON.
I'LL HAVE A LOT TO SAY
ABOUT WHO TAKES OVER.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SIT AT THIS DESK?
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS PLAY BALL.
WELL...
GOOD!
SEND MISS SMITH IN.
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE
QUITE A TEAM.
JUDY SMITH,
TOM WILLIS.
THIS IS MISS SMITH.
HI.
HI.
JUDY, GREAT NEWS.
YOU'RE GOING
TO ACAPULCO.
I AM?
THIS IS SO EXCITING!
I'VE WANTED
TO SEE ACAPULCO
SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.
NOW THAT YOU'RE
A BIG GIRL,
ACAPULCO WILL BE
MUCH MORE FUN.
J.R.,
THE TIME.
JUDY, YOU HAVE TO
GET GOING.
YOU'LL BE FLYING
WITH MR. WILLIS.
I GUESS SO.
I BETTER GO
MAKE MYSELF PRETTY.
SHE'S QUITE A GIRL.
IF YOU SAY SO.
IF A WORD OF THIS
GETS OUT TO ANYBODY,
IT'S MY REPUTATION
AND YOUR JOB.
QUESTIONS?
DO YOU HAVE ANY ROLAIDS?
THIS FUND-RAISING ARTICLE
SHOULD GO ON PAGE 3.
HELEN?
HELEN, YOUR HAIR'S
ON FIRE.
THAT'S NICE.
YOU CAN'T WORK
IF YOU'RE SOMEPLACE ELSE.
SOMEPLACE ELSE?
YOU WERE IN MEXICO.
YOU'RE RIGHT, LOUISE.
I WAS.
YOU CAN STILL GO.
MAYBE I WAS WRONG.
YES?
TOM'S NOT REALLY
A CHAUVINIST.
AND IT IS HIS JOB.
AND IT IS 85 DEGREES
IN ACAPULCO.
YEAH.
IF I HURRY,
I HAVE TIME TO GET
TO THE AIRPORT.
WON'T TOM BE SURPRISED!
I WISH I WAS THERE
TO SEE HIS FACE!
FLIGHT 372 FOR CHICAGO
IS NOW BOARDING AT GATE 45.
MR. WILLIS,
HOW COME
YOU'RE NERVOUS?
NERVOUS? I'M NOT NERVOUS.
DO YOU
ALWAYS CHEW GUM
WITH THE WRAPPER ON?
I LIKE TO KEEP
THE FLAVOR IN.
YOU'LL RELAX
IN ACAPULCO.
THERE'S THIS BAR
CALLED JOSE'S.
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THERE!
I JUST TOLD
J.R. THAT.
I WANT TO
KEEP HIM HAPPY.
APPARENTLY,
YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB.
I SOMETIMES GET
A LITTLE NERVOUS
WHEN I FLY.
WOULD YOU MIND
IF I HELD YOUR HAND?
COULDN'T YOU HOLD
SOMEBODY ELSE'S HAND?
WHOSE?
LIKE THAT TEDDY BEAR'S
IN THE GIFT SHOP.
OH, MR. WILLIS,
YOU'RE SO SWEET!
WELL, I'LL JUST GO
AND BUY IT FOR YOU.
MR. BRUCE HAMEN,
MEET YOUR PARTY
AT THE BAGGAGE CLAIM AREA.
HI, THERE.
HELLO.
YOU GOING
TO ACAPULCO?
YES.
THAT'S WONDERFUL!
ME, TOO.
ARE YOU GOING
ON BUSINESS OR PLEASURE?
I'M REALLY NOT SURE
HOW TO ANSWER THAT.
BETTER TAKE
MY AIRSICKNESS PILL.
DON'T WANT TO BE DIZZY.
RIGHT.
AH!
TOM! THERE YOU ARE!
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
I'M GOING WITH YOU!
I WAS SO SILLY.
I'M SORRY ABOUT
EVERYTHING.
SO AM I!
VERY SORRY.
WHAT'S THIS
TEDDY BEAR?
I BOUGHT IT
SO I WOULDN'T BE LONESOME.
WHAT?
I WAS JUST KIDDING,
HELEN.
I REALLY BOUGHT IT
FOR THIS LITTLE BOY.
HERE YOU GO, LITTLE BOY!
I TOLD YOU
NOT TO TAKE THINGS
FROM STRANGERS.
PERVERT!
TOM, IS THERE
SOMETHING WRONG?
WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK THAT?
WHY ARE YOU
SQUIRMING AROUND?
WELL, BECAUSE...
BECAUSE I...
BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM.
HOW LONG WILL
THE FLIGHT LAST?
LAST TIME,
I LOST TRACK
AFTER MY 5th MARGARITA.
YOU MUST HAVE LANDED
AN HOUR AFTER THE PLANE DID.
MISS JUDY SMITH,
PLEASE REPORT TO
THE FLIGHT INFORMATION COUNTER.
THAT'S ME!
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
AHH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M GOING
TO THE BATHROOM.
HERE?
NO.
I THOUGHT YOU WENT.
I FORGOT TO
PUT IN THE DIME!
JUDY.
OH, HI, MR. WILLIS.
YOU SHOULD TAKE
A LATER FLIGHT.
WHY?
SO YOU DON'T MISS
THE MEXICAN SUNSET.
BUT...
J.R. WOULD WANT IT
THIS WAY.
AND YOU?
I WANT IT, TOO.
THIS WILL COVER
YOUR TICKET.
OK, MR. WILLIS.
I'LL SEE YOU IN ACAPULCO.
I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL
WE GET TO ACAPULCO.
LET'S GET ON
THE PLANE NOW.
WHY?
SO WE WON'T MISS IT.
THERE'S NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I WAS ACTING SILLY.
MR. WILLIS?
I FORGOT
MY TEDDY BEAR.
THAT'S YOURS?
MR. WILLIS
BOUGHT IT FOR ME.
I HAVE TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM
AGAIN.
YOU KNOW TOM?
WE'RE SPENDING FOUR DAYS
IN ACAPULCO TOGETHER.
NOW, HELEN...
FOUR DAYS?
ACTUALLY,
ONLY 3 DAYS.
BUT IT'S 4 NIGHTS.
YOU CHEAT!
NOW, HELEN...
WAIT!
DID I SAY
SOMETHING WRONG?
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,
HOW COULD TOM
DO SUCH A THING?
MAYBE YOU'RE MISTAKEN.
I SAW IT.
I'M NOT BLIND.
NO, JUST COLOR-BLIND.
GEORGE, CAN'T YOU BE
MORE CONSIDERATE?
HELEN NEEDS KINDNESS
AND UNDERSTANDING.
YOU'RE RIGHT, WEEZ.
I'M SORRY
YOUR OLD MAN
DUMPED YOU
FOR A FLOOZY.
CAN I HELP?
YEAH.
SHUT UP.
MIXED MARRIAGES
DON'T WORK.
THEY'VE BEEN MARRIED
FOR 28 YEARS.
IT WAS
JUST A MATTER OF TIME.
HEY, WILLIS.
YOU OLD, SLY DOG!
KEEP YOUR HANDS
TO YOURSELF.
IF YOU HAD DONE THAT,
YOU WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS.
GEORGE, IT ISN'T YOUR AFFAIR.
THAT'S RIGHT, WEEZY.
IT'S HIS AFFAIR.
GEORGE, IT'S NOT
AN AFFAIR.
SO IT'S GONE
BEYOND THAT!
IT HASN'T GONE ANYWHERE.
IT ALMOST WENT
TO ACAPULCO.
GEORGE, THEIR MARRIAGE
IS IN ENOUGH TROUBLE ALREADY.
OH, LOUISE!
HELEN, YOU MADE
A BIG MISTAKE.
YEAH.
I MARRIED YOU.
SHE MEANS NOTHING TO ME.
IT WAS BUSINESS.
HOW MUCH
DID YOU PAY HER?
I DIDN'T
PAY HER ANYTHING.
SHE WORKS
FOR FREE?
YES.
I MEAN NO!
YOU SHOULD HAVE
STAYED ON THE PLANE.
YOU'D HAVE SOMEPLACE
TO SLEEP TONIGHT.
HELEN!
WHAT CAN I DO?
YOU GOT
TWO CHOICES...
THE HOLIDAY INN
OR THE Y.M.C.A.
GEORGE, DON'T
BE RIDICULOUS.
DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?
TOM, I BELIEVE YOU.
I'M NOT THE ONE
YOU HAVE TO CONVINCE.
YOU'RE SO
OPEN-MINDED.
I'VE HAD PLENTY
OF PRACTICE.
I'LL SPEAK
TO HELEN.
WOULD YOU?
I'D BE ETERNALLY
GRATEFUL.
I'D BE ABLE TO SLEEP
AT HOME TONIGHT.
I'LL GIVE IT
A TRY.
DON'T GET UPSET.
THERE'S AN
EASY WAY OUT.
GET A BETTER LAWYER
THAN HELEN.
LAWYER?
I DON'T NEED A LAWYER.
THE HELL YOU DON'T.
YOU WANT TO PLAY,
YOU GOT TO PAY.
WE WERE HAPPILY MARRIED
UNTIL THIS AFTERNOON.
I WON'T DESERT YOU
IN YOUR TIME OF NEED.
AFTER YOU GET DIVORCED,
ALL YOUR DRY CLEANING
WILL BE HALF PRICE.
I'M NOT GETTING
A DIVORCE.
YOUR GIRLFRIEND
WON'T LIKE THAT.
SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND.
WHY WOULD I
WANT JUDY SMITH?
HI. I'M JUDY SMITH.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH THIS,
HELEN AIN'T GOT NOTHIN'
TO WORRY ABOUT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
LUCKILY,
I FOUND YOU HERE.
HOW?
LUCKILY,
I HAD THE OFFICE DIRECTORY.
THIS ISN'T MY APARTMENT.
LUCKILY,
THE DOORMAN
TOLD ME.
YOU HAD
A LOT OF LUCK TODAY.
I CAN'T SAY
THE SAME FOR YOU.
HAVE A SEAT.
SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
WHY NOT?
REMEMBER YOU-KNOW-WHO.
GOD FORGIVES
EVERYBODY.
I'M TALKING ABOUT HELEN.
I KNOW NOW
THAT YOU AND JUDY
COULD NEVER...
THANK YOU, GEORGE.
THIS FOX WOULDN'T
GO OUT WITH
A MEATBALL LIKE YOU.
MR. WILLIS,
WHAT ABOUT OUR TRIP?
HERE. YOU GO.
HURRY AND CATCH
THE LAST FLIGHT.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
I'LL BE FINE.
WHAT WILL
I TELL J.R.?
TELL J.R. THAT...
TOM.
DON'T START JUMPING
TO CONCLUSIONS.
I'LL JUMP
TO YOUR THROAT.
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
SEEING
MY HUSBAND.
IS HE YOUR HUSBAND?
WATCH YOUR MOUTH.
I'M HER HUSBAND.
YOU MEAN
YOU TWO ARE...
THAT'S RIGHT,
MISS SMITH.
SMITH?
COULDN'T YOU
DO BETTER
THAN THAT?
MISS SMITH WAS
GOING TO MEXICO
WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.
WHO?
I CAN'T
TELL YOU.
YOU'VE TOLD ME
ALL I WANT.
THERE'S NO POINT
IN TRYING TO HIDE IT.
I'M MADLY IN LOVE
WITH JUDY.
WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU,
I HAD TO HAVE YOU.
WHEN WE GET TO ACAPULCO,
I'M NOT SHARING YOU
WITH ANYONE.
WHAT WILL
MR. KRAMER SAY?
MR. KRAMER?
OH!
YOU'RE
MESSING AROUND
WITH TOM'S BOSS.
NOT ANYMORE
I'M NOT.
I DON'T NEED
THE AGGRAVATION.
MY DENTIST IS DYING
TO TAKE ME TO ASPEN.
WHAT DO I TELL
MR. KRAMER?
TELL HIM I'M HAVING
MY TEETH FIXED.
WHAT DOES HE THINK I AM?
A HOME WRECKER?
HOW CAN I EVER
MAKE IT UP TO YOU?
GET A JOB.
WHEN THAT PLANE
LANDS WITHOUT JUDY,
I'LL LOSE MINE.
COULD YOU GET FIRED
OVER THIS?
WHY NOT?
HE ALMOST GOT DIVORCED.
MR. KRAMER WON'T
FIRE ANYBODY.
WHO'S GOING
TO STOP HIM?
I AM.
YOU?
MRS. KRAMER AND I
HAVE LUNCH
ONCE A MONTH.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW
ABOUT JUDY.
SHE WILL
IF MR. KRAMER
FIRES YOU.
OH, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!
I'LL BE
MORE BEAUTIFUL
ON THE BEACH
IN ACAPULCO.
LET'S GO.
DO I SAY GOOD-BYE
OR ADIOS?
WHICHEVER'S QUICKER.
ADIOS.
HASTA LUEGO.
HAVE FUN.
SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE
GOTTEN MAD.
I KNOW HOW
I WOULD FEEL.
I WOULDN'T
GO OUT WITH HER.
HONEST?
NEVER!
OH, GEORGE.
NOT UNLESS
SHE WAS BLACK.
WHAT?
JUST A JOKE.
THE JEFFERSONS WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T BURN
ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
THAT HILL ♪
GET UP
♪ JUST TO
♪ NOW WE'RE UP
IN THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪
♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T
NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪♪
EDITING THIS NEWSLETTER'S
TAKING A LOT OF TIME.
AT LEAST WE HAVE
MR. BENTLEY'S
ELECTRIC TYPEWRITER.
IT TYPES A LOT FASTER
THAN MY OLD MANUAL.
♪ EVERY TIME IT SNOWS
IT SNOWS ♪
♪ PENNIES FROM HEAVEN ♪
DON'T YOU MEAN
"EVERY TIME IT RAINS?"
THAT TOO.
RIGHT NOW
IT'S SNOWING.
SNOW MEANS SLUSH.
SLUSH MEANS
DIRTY CLOTHES.
DIRTY CLOTHES MEANS
♪ PENNIES FROM HEAVEN
FOR YOU AND ME ♪
WHAT WE HAVIN'
FOR LUNCH?
DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU.
I'M HAVING
SPLIT-PEA SOUP.
LOOKS THIN.
WHAT HAPPENED
TO THE PEAS?
I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE THEY SPLIT.
SPLIT INTO
THE KITCHEN. FIND ME
SOMETHIN' TO EAT.
AS SOON AS I FINISH
MY SOUP.
CAN'T WORK ON
AN EMPTY STOMACH.
YOU CAN'T WORK
ON NO KINDA
STOMACH.
SPEAKING OF STOMACHS.
IS HELEN HERE?
UNFORTUNATELY.
GREAT NEWS.
JACK FOREMAN'S
GOT THE FLU.
- WHAT?
- THE COMPANY'S SENDING ME
TO THE CONVENTION!
FOUR BEAUTIFUL DAYS
IN SUNNY ACAPULCO.
- THAT'S NICE.
- YOU'RE GOING WITH ME!
THAT'S TERRIFIC!
- WHEN ARE YOU LEAVING?
- THIS AFTERNOON!
IF YOU START PACKING,
I CAN START READING THIS.
IT'S THE BOOK
I'M PROMOTING
AT THE CONVENTION.
HOW TO MAKE
YOUR MAN HAPPY?
MAYBE I OUGHTA READ THAT.
I KNOW HOW YOU CAN
MAKE A MAN HAPPY.
KEEP AWAY FROM 'EM.
EXCUSE ME, Y'ALL.
I BETTER GET
MR. JEFFERSON
HIS PEA SOUP.
SHOULD GO PERFECT
WITH HIS PEA BRAIN.
IS THIS FOR REAL?
LISTEN TO THIS.
OBEDIENCE IN A WIFE
IS AS IMPORTANT
AS IN A DOG.
I DON'T AGREE WITH THAT.
I HOPE NOT.
I THINK IT'S
MORE IMPORTANT.
YOU'RE ACTUALLY
GOING TO PROMOTE THIS BOOK?
SURE.
IT'S ALL SEXIST NONSENSE.
IT'S ALSO MY JOB.
I MUST SUPPORT YOU.
ME?
YES.
ARE YOU SAYING
THAT A WOMAN
NEEDS A MAN
TO SUPPORT HER?
I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
COME ON.
OUR PLANE LEAVES SOON.
I'M NOT GOING TO ACAPULCO
WITH A CHAUVINIST.
I THOUGHT TOM
WAS AN EPISCOPALIAN.
I'M NOT
A CHAUVINIST.
WHY ARE YOU PROMOTING
THAT CHAUVINISTIC BOOK?
WE CAN TALK
ABOUT THIS LATER.
STOP ACTING SILLY.
WHY DON'T YOU GO
TO ACAPULCO BY YOURSELF?
I WANT YOU TO COME.
I DON'T DO SO WELL
BY MYSELF.
DO WHAT?
THAT'S PRECISELY
THE POINT.
SO THAT'S WHY
YOU WANT ME ALONG.
NO, THANK YOU, TOM.
HELEN, I'M GOING
TO PICK UP THE TICKETS.
ARE YOU
COMING WITH ME?
I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO
THAN MAKE MY MAN HAPPY.
WELL!
I'M SORRY YOU
FEEL THAT WAY.
DO YOU WANT ME
TO GET ANYTHING IN MEXICO?
YEAH.
MONTEZUMA'S REVENGE.
ARE YOU SURE
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING?
I'M NOT TRAVELING
WITH A HYPOCRITE.
CALLING TOM A HYPOCRITE
IS GOING TOO FAR.
YEAH.
JUST CALL HIM A HIPPO.
SEND HIM IN, PLEASE.
I THOUGHT YOU'D
TAKEN OFF BY NOW.
YOU PROBABLY DECIDED
TO WAIT FOR THE PLANE.
I JUST STOPPED BY
FOR THE TICKETS.
I GUESS
THE LITTLE LADY'S
EXCITED.
SHE HAS SOME WORK,
SO SHE'S NOT GOING.
I WAS HOPING
MY WIFE
COULD SPEND SOME
TIME WITH HELEN
SO I COULD HAVE
A LITTLE TIME
FOR MYSELF.
I'M SORRY, J.R.
SINCE HELEN ISN'T GOING,
I HAVE A THOUGHT.
YOU KNOW JUDY SMITH
IN THE SECRETARIAL POOL?
YES. I'VE SEEN HER.
SHE'S HARD TO MISS.
IT MIGHT BE NICE
TO HAVE HER ALONG
AT THE CONVENTION.
I UNDERSTAND, J.R.
SHE'S A VERY DEVOTED...
EMPLOYEE.
SHE'S WILLING
TO WORK NIGHTS
AND SOMETIMES
WEEKENDS.
RIGHT!
LOOK AT THE TIME!
I HAVE
ANOTHER THOUGHT.
I MIGHT SEND
MISS SMITH ALONG
AS YOUR ASSISTANT.
I WON'T HAVE ENOUGH
FOR HER TO DO.
I WILL.
IF MISS SMITH
IS WITH YOU,
MY WIFE WILL NEVER
KNOW A THING.
HOW'S THAT SOUND, TOM?
FRANKLY, IT SOUNDS
LIKE CHEATING.
DON'T DEFINE IT!
JUST DO IT.
WITH ALL RESPECT,
I'D RATHER NOT.
OH.
OK, TOM.
YOUR DECISION.
I RESPECT THAT.
YOU'RE A VICE PRESIDENT, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
LAST TIME I COUNTED,
THERE WERE
FIVE OTHER VICE PRESIDENTS.
RIGHT.
TOM, YOU KNOW,
I'VE ALWAYS
ADMIRED YOUR WORK.
I'M GOING TO RETIRE SOON.
I'LL HAVE A LOT TO SAY
ABOUT WHO TAKES OVER.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO SIT AT THIS DESK?
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS PLAY BALL.
WELL...
GOOD!
SEND MISS SMITH IN.
WE'RE GOING TO MAKE
QUITE A TEAM.
JUDY SMITH,
TOM WILLIS.
THIS IS MISS SMITH.
HI.
HI.
JUDY, GREAT NEWS.
YOU'RE GOING
TO ACAPULCO.
I AM?
THIS IS SO EXCITING!
I'VE WANTED
TO SEE ACAPULCO
SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.
NOW THAT YOU'RE
A BIG GIRL,
ACAPULCO WILL BE
MUCH MORE FUN.
J.R.,
THE TIME.
JUDY, YOU HAVE TO
GET GOING.
YOU'LL BE FLYING
WITH MR. WILLIS.
I GUESS SO.
I BETTER GO
MAKE MYSELF PRETTY.
SHE'S QUITE A GIRL.
IF YOU SAY SO.
IF A WORD OF THIS
GETS OUT TO ANYBODY,
IT'S MY REPUTATION
AND YOUR JOB.
QUESTIONS?
DO YOU HAVE ANY ROLAIDS?
THIS FUND-RAISING ARTICLE
SHOULD GO ON PAGE 3.
HELEN?
HELEN, YOUR HAIR'S
ON FIRE.
THAT'S NICE.
YOU CAN'T WORK
IF YOU'RE SOMEPLACE ELSE.
SOMEPLACE ELSE?
YOU WERE IN MEXICO.
YOU'RE RIGHT, LOUISE.
I WAS.
YOU CAN STILL GO.
MAYBE I WAS WRONG.
YES?
TOM'S NOT REALLY
A CHAUVINIST.
AND IT IS HIS JOB.
AND IT IS 85 DEGREES
IN ACAPULCO.
YEAH.
IF I HURRY,
I HAVE TIME TO GET
TO THE AIRPORT.
WON'T TOM BE SURPRISED!
I WISH I WAS THERE
TO SEE HIS FACE!
FLIGHT 372 FOR CHICAGO
IS NOW BOARDING AT GATE 45.
MR. WILLIS,
HOW COME
YOU'RE NERVOUS?
NERVOUS? I'M NOT NERVOUS.
DO YOU
ALWAYS CHEW GUM
WITH THE WRAPPER ON?
I LIKE TO KEEP
THE FLAVOR IN.
YOU'LL RELAX
IN ACAPULCO.
THERE'S THIS BAR
CALLED JOSE'S.
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THERE!
I JUST TOLD
J.R. THAT.
I WANT TO
KEEP HIM HAPPY.
APPARENTLY,
YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB.
I SOMETIMES GET
A LITTLE NERVOUS
WHEN I FLY.
WOULD YOU MIND
IF I HELD YOUR HAND?
COULDN'T YOU HOLD
SOMEBODY ELSE'S HAND?
WHOSE?
LIKE THAT TEDDY BEAR'S
IN THE GIFT SHOP.
OH, MR. WILLIS,
YOU'RE SO SWEET!
WELL, I'LL JUST GO
AND BUY IT FOR YOU.
MR. BRUCE HAMEN,
MEET YOUR PARTY
AT THE BAGGAGE CLAIM AREA.
HI, THERE.
HELLO.
YOU GOING
TO ACAPULCO?
YES.
THAT'S WONDERFUL!
ME, TOO.
ARE YOU GOING
ON BUSINESS OR PLEASURE?
I'M REALLY NOT SURE
HOW TO ANSWER THAT.
BETTER TAKE
MY AIRSICKNESS PILL.
DON'T WANT TO BE DIZZY.
RIGHT.
AH!
TOM! THERE YOU ARE!
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
I'M GOING WITH YOU!
I WAS SO SILLY.
I'M SORRY ABOUT
EVERYTHING.
SO AM I!
VERY SORRY.
WHAT'S THIS
TEDDY BEAR?
I BOUGHT IT
SO I WOULDN'T BE LONESOME.
WHAT?
I WAS JUST KIDDING,
HELEN.
I REALLY BOUGHT IT
FOR THIS LITTLE BOY.
HERE YOU GO, LITTLE BOY!
I TOLD YOU
NOT TO TAKE THINGS
FROM STRANGERS.
PERVERT!
TOM, IS THERE
SOMETHING WRONG?
WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK THAT?
WHY ARE YOU
SQUIRMING AROUND?
WELL, BECAUSE...
BECAUSE I...
BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM.
HOW LONG WILL
THE FLIGHT LAST?
LAST TIME,
I LOST TRACK
AFTER MY 5th MARGARITA.
YOU MUST HAVE LANDED
AN HOUR AFTER THE PLANE DID.
MISS JUDY SMITH,
PLEASE REPORT TO
THE FLIGHT INFORMATION COUNTER.
THAT'S ME!
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
AHH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M GOING
TO THE BATHROOM.
HERE?
NO.
I THOUGHT YOU WENT.
I FORGOT TO
PUT IN THE DIME!
JUDY.
OH, HI, MR. WILLIS.
YOU SHOULD TAKE
A LATER FLIGHT.
WHY?
SO YOU DON'T MISS
THE MEXICAN SUNSET.
BUT...
J.R. WOULD WANT IT
THIS WAY.
AND YOU?
I WANT IT, TOO.
THIS WILL COVER
YOUR TICKET.
OK, MR. WILLIS.
I'LL SEE YOU IN ACAPULCO.
I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL
WE GET TO ACAPULCO.
LET'S GET ON
THE PLANE NOW.
WHY?
SO WE WON'T MISS IT.
THERE'S NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I WAS ACTING SILLY.
MR. WILLIS?
I FORGOT
MY TEDDY BEAR.
THAT'S YOURS?
MR. WILLIS
BOUGHT IT FOR ME.
I HAVE TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM
AGAIN.
YOU KNOW TOM?
WE'RE SPENDING FOUR DAYS
IN ACAPULCO TOGETHER.
NOW, HELEN...
FOUR DAYS?
ACTUALLY,
ONLY 3 DAYS.
BUT IT'S 4 NIGHTS.
YOU CHEAT!
NOW, HELEN...
WAIT!
DID I SAY
SOMETHING WRONG?
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,
HOW COULD TOM
DO SUCH A THING?
MAYBE YOU'RE MISTAKEN.
I SAW IT.
I'M NOT BLIND.
NO, JUST COLOR-BLIND.
GEORGE, CAN'T YOU BE
MORE CONSIDERATE?
HELEN NEEDS KINDNESS
AND UNDERSTANDING.
YOU'RE RIGHT, WEEZ.
I'M SORRY
YOUR OLD MAN
DUMPED YOU
FOR A FLOOZY.
CAN I HELP?
YEAH.
SHUT UP.
MIXED MARRIAGES
DON'T WORK.
THEY'VE BEEN MARRIED
FOR 28 YEARS.
IT WAS
JUST A MATTER OF TIME.
HEY, WILLIS.
YOU OLD, SLY DOG!
KEEP YOUR HANDS
TO YOURSELF.
IF YOU HAD DONE THAT,
YOU WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS.
GEORGE, IT ISN'T YOUR AFFAIR.
THAT'S RIGHT, WEEZY.
IT'S HIS AFFAIR.
GEORGE, IT'S NOT
AN AFFAIR.
SO IT'S GONE
BEYOND THAT!
IT HASN'T GONE ANYWHERE.
IT ALMOST WENT
TO ACAPULCO.
GEORGE, THEIR MARRIAGE
IS IN ENOUGH TROUBLE ALREADY.
OH, LOUISE!
HELEN, YOU MADE
A BIG MISTAKE.
YEAH.
I MARRIED YOU.
SHE MEANS NOTHING TO ME.
IT WAS BUSINESS.
HOW MUCH
DID YOU PAY HER?
I DIDN'T
PAY HER ANYTHING.
SHE WORKS
FOR FREE?
YES.
I MEAN NO!
YOU SHOULD HAVE
STAYED ON THE PLANE.
YOU'D HAVE SOMEPLACE
TO SLEEP TONIGHT.
HELEN!
WHAT CAN I DO?
YOU GOT
TWO CHOICES...
THE HOLIDAY INN
OR THE Y.M.C.A.
GEORGE, DON'T
BE RIDICULOUS.
DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?
TOM, I BELIEVE YOU.
I'M NOT THE ONE
YOU HAVE TO CONVINCE.
YOU'RE SO
OPEN-MINDED.
I'VE HAD PLENTY
OF PRACTICE.
I'LL SPEAK
TO HELEN.
WOULD YOU?
I'D BE ETERNALLY
GRATEFUL.
I'D BE ABLE TO SLEEP
AT HOME TONIGHT.
I'LL GIVE IT
A TRY.
DON'T GET UPSET.
THERE'S AN
EASY WAY OUT.
GET A BETTER LAWYER
THAN HELEN.
LAWYER?
I DON'T NEED A LAWYER.
THE HELL YOU DON'T.
YOU WANT TO PLAY,
YOU GOT TO PAY.
WE WERE HAPPILY MARRIED
UNTIL THIS AFTERNOON.
I WON'T DESERT YOU
IN YOUR TIME OF NEED.
AFTER YOU GET DIVORCED,
ALL YOUR DRY CLEANING
WILL BE HALF PRICE.
I'M NOT GETTING
A DIVORCE.
YOUR GIRLFRIEND
WON'T LIKE THAT.
SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND.
WHY WOULD I
WANT JUDY SMITH?
HI. I'M JUDY SMITH.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH THIS,
HELEN AIN'T GOT NOTHIN'
TO WORRY ABOUT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
LUCKILY,
I FOUND YOU HERE.
HOW?
LUCKILY,
I HAD THE OFFICE DIRECTORY.
THIS ISN'T MY APARTMENT.
LUCKILY,
THE DOORMAN
TOLD ME.
YOU HAD
A LOT OF LUCK TODAY.
I CAN'T SAY
THE SAME FOR YOU.
HAVE A SEAT.
SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
WHY NOT?
REMEMBER YOU-KNOW-WHO.
GOD FORGIVES
EVERYBODY.
I'M TALKING ABOUT HELEN.
I KNOW NOW
THAT YOU AND JUDY
COULD NEVER...
THANK YOU, GEORGE.
THIS FOX WOULDN'T
GO OUT WITH
A MEATBALL LIKE YOU.
MR. WILLIS,
WHAT ABOUT OUR TRIP?
HERE. YOU GO.
HURRY AND CATCH
THE LAST FLIGHT.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
I'LL BE FINE.
WHAT WILL
I TELL J.R.?
TELL J.R. THAT...
TOM.
DON'T START JUMPING
TO CONCLUSIONS.
I'LL JUMP
TO YOUR THROAT.
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
SEEING
MY HUSBAND.
IS HE YOUR HUSBAND?
WATCH YOUR MOUTH.
I'M HER HUSBAND.
YOU MEAN
YOU TWO ARE...
THAT'S RIGHT,
MISS SMITH.
SMITH?
COULDN'T YOU
DO BETTER
THAN THAT?
MISS SMITH WAS
GOING TO MEXICO
WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.
WHO?
I CAN'T
TELL YOU.
YOU'VE TOLD ME
ALL I WANT.
THERE'S NO POINT
IN TRYING TO HIDE IT.
I'M MADLY IN LOVE
WITH JUDY.
WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU,
I HAD TO HAVE YOU.
WHEN WE GET TO ACAPULCO,
I'M NOT SHARING YOU
WITH ANYONE.
WHAT WILL
MR. KRAMER SAY?
MR. KRAMER?
OH!
YOU'RE
MESSING AROUND
WITH TOM'S BOSS.
NOT ANYMORE
I'M NOT.
I DON'T NEED
THE AGGRAVATION.
MY DENTIST IS DYING
TO TAKE ME TO ASPEN.
WHAT DO I TELL
MR. KRAMER?
TELL HIM I'M HAVING
MY TEETH FIXED.
WHAT DOES HE THINK I AM?
A HOME WRECKER?
HOW CAN I EVER
MAKE IT UP TO YOU?
GET A JOB.
WHEN THAT PLANE
LANDS WITHOUT JUDY,
I'LL LOSE MINE.
COULD YOU GET FIRED
OVER THIS?
WHY NOT?
HE ALMOST GOT DIVORCED.
MR. KRAMER WON'T
FIRE ANYBODY.
WHO'S GOING
TO STOP HIM?
I AM.
YOU?
MRS. KRAMER AND I
HAVE LUNCH
ONCE A MONTH.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW
ABOUT JUDY.
SHE WILL
IF MR. KRAMER
FIRES YOU.
OH, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!
I'LL BE
MORE BEAUTIFUL
ON THE BEACH
IN ACAPULCO.
LET'S GO.
DO I SAY GOOD-BYE
OR ADIOS?
WHICHEVER'S QUICKER.
ADIOS.
HASTA LUEGO.
HAVE FUN.
SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE
GOTTEN MAD.
I KNOW HOW
I WOULD FEEL.
I WOULDN'T
GO OUT WITH HER.
HONEST?
NEVER!
OH, GEORGE.
NOT UNLESS
SHE WAS BLACK.
WHAT?
JUST A JOKE.
THE JEFFERSONS WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪♪