The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 5, Episode 11 - Harry's House Guest - full transcript
Harry Bentley is stuck with an insufferable lady houseguest and when George Jefferson volunteers to get him unstuck, he winds up sticking Bentley with something worse.
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T BURN
ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
THAT HILL ♪
GET UP
♪ JUST TO
♪ NOW WE'RE UP
IN THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪
♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T
NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪♪
GEORGE?
FLORENCE?
IS ANYBODY HERE?
HELLO!
MR. BENTLEY! WHAT WERE
YOU DOING OUT THERE?
WASHING THE WINDOW.
WHY?
BECAUSE IT WAS DIRTY.
I MEAN,
WHY WERE YOU WASHING IT?
THAT'S FLORENCE'S JOB.
SHE WAS KIND ENOUGH
TO LET ME DO IT.
SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING
IN HER BEDROOM.
NOTHING LIKE A NICE,
LONG NAP.
FLORENCE.
I SURE WISH I HAD
TIME TO TAKE ONE.
WHY WAS MR. BENTLEY
CLEANING OUR WINDOWS?
'CAUSE HE HATES
WATCHING SOAP OPERAS.
WHAT?
UNFORTUNATELY,
FELICIA LOVES THEM.
OH, YOUR HOUSEGUEST.
IS SHE STILL HERE?
I'M AFRAID SO.
IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS...
AND 11 HOURS
AND 13 MINUTES.
WHY'S SHE STAYING
WITH YOU ANYWAY?
SHE JUST TURNED UP
ON MY DOORSTEP,
AND I SAID
SOMETHING TERRIBLE.
WHAT?
I SAID, "COME IN."
CAN'T YOU SAY,
"GET OUT"?
I CAN'T.
SHE'S THE ONLY DAUGHTER
OF MY MOTHER'S
BEST FRIEND'S SISTER.
OR IS SHE THE ONLY SISTER
OF MY MOTHER'S
BEST FRIEND'S DAUGHTER?
WHAT'S THAT?
THAT'S MY TEAKETTLE.
THAT GIRL IS DRIVING
POOR MR. BENTLEY CRAZY.
WELL, FOR HIM,
IT'S A VERY
SHORT DRIVE.
HE'S ALWAYS OVER HERE.
HE EVEN DOES
YOUR HOUSEWORK.
YEAH.
AIN'T THAT
TERRIBLE?
HERE WE ARE,
TEA AND CAKES.
YOU GOT
THOSE COOKIES
THAT I LIKE.
WOULD YOU GET THAT?
I'M ON MY TEA BREAK.
FELICIA!
HELLO,
MRS. JEFFERSON.
HARRY, YOU SPEND
MORE TIME HERE
THAN AT YOUR PLACE!
LUCKILY,
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT
AVOIDING ME!
FELICIA...
I MUST TELL YOU
ABOUT THIS SOAP OPERA.
FELICIA...
THIS CHARACTER
WON'T LET ANYONE
SAY A WORD.
FELICIA!
HARRY, I'M TALKING.
SORRY.
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME TEA?
WE'LL MISS
THE SECOND HALF
OF THE SOAP OPERA.
SORRY TO DASH.
WE MUST CHAT
AGAIN SOON!
ENGLAND SURE MUST BE QUIET
WITH HER OUT OF THE COUNTRY.
POOR MR. BENTLEY.
MAY I BORROW
SOME TISSUES?
FELICIA MUST DRY
HER EYES.
YOU ASKED HER
TO LEAVE?
NO. SHE TAKES
HER SOAP OPERA
SERIOUSLY.
I'LL GET THEM.
I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.
GEORGE, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?
CHECKIN'.
HE AIN'T HERE.
WHO?
BENTLEY.
YOU CALLED?
YOU HERE AGAIN?
YES.
YOU SHOULD
MOVE IN.
I'D LOVE TO!
FORGET WHAT I SAID.
I'M SAYING GOOD-BYE.
GEORGE, BE CONSIDERATE.
MR. BENTLEY HAS A PROBLEM.
WEEZY, I GOT
MY OWN PROBLEMS.
ONE IS PHIL ROLLINS.
YOUR NEW CLIENT?
HE WANTS ME
TO HIRE HIS SON.
BOBBY WORKS
FOR HIM.
BOBBY'S SO DUMB,
ROLLINS WANTS HIM
IN MY BUSINESS.
IF ROLLINS CALLS,
I AIN'T HOME, FLORENCE.
I DON'T LIKE LYIN'.
WOULD YOU LIKE STANDING
IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE?
COULD I BORROW
SOME ICE?
CERTAINLY,
MR. BENTLEY.
I CAN WAIT
UNTIL YOU MAKE SOME.
HELLO.
JEFFERSON RESIDENCE.
YES, HE IS.
MR. J.!
BENTLEY!
IT'S MR. ROLLINS.
I'M NOT TALKING
TO THAT TURKEY.
OH, HELLO, ROLLINS.
WHAT?
OF COURSE I WANT TO SPEAK
TO MY BEST CLIENT.
TURKEY?
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HAVING
FOR DINNER.
BOBBY, YOUR SON?
HOW IS HE?
A JOB.
I DON'T HAVE
ANY OPENINGS.
I'LL GET BACK TO YOU, OK?
OK, BYE.
THAT DOES IT,
BENTLEY.
GEORGE,
WHAT'S GOING ON?
BENTLEY ALMOST
BLEW AN ACCOUNT.
AS LONG AS FELICIA
IS VISITING MR. BENTLEY,
HE'S GOING TO VISIT US.
SHE'S RIGHT.
TELL FELICIA
TO GET LOST.
MY MOTHER WOULD
NEVER FORGIVE ME.
WHY WOULD
YOUR MOTHER CARE?
FELICIA IS THE DAUGHTER OF
MOTHER'S BEST FRIEND'S SISTER.
LOOK, BENTLEY,
START AN ARGUMENT WITH HER,
AND SHE'LL LEAVE.
I'M NOT GOOD
AT STARTING
ARGUMENTS.
WHATEVER SHE SAYS,
JUST DISAGREE.
WILL THAT
REALLY WORK?
IF THERE'S ONE THING
GEORGE KNOWS,
IT'S HOW TO START
AN ARGUMENT.
SO WHATEVER
FELICIA SAYS,
I JUST SAY
THE OPPOSITE.
I'VE GOT IT.
HARRY, YOU MISSED
THE SOAP OPERA.
DRAT.
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT HAPPENED.
THEN WE'LL LOOK
AT MY SLIDES
OF WALES.
MR. JEFFERSON,
HAVE YOU EVER
SEEN WALES?
NO, BUT I DID SEE JAWS.
JAWS!
YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL
SENSE OF HUMOR.
HARRY, YOU HAVE
FINE FRIENDS.
LIKE MY NEIGHBORS BACK HOME...
ASIDE FROM THE COLOR.
YOU'RE WEARIN' PANTS!
WHY, YES,
I AM.
I'M JUST SURPRISED,
KNOWING HOW BENTLEY
FEELS ABOUT THAT.
REALLY?
HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT THAT, HARRY?
HE THINKS ONLY MEN
SHOULD WEAR PANTS.
RIGHT, BENTLEY?
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I THINK.
WHY SHOULDN'T
WOMEN WEAR PANTS?
BECAUSE...
WHY SHOULDN'T
WOMEN WEAR PANTS?
DID YOU EVER
SEE THE QUEEN
WITHOUT A DRESS?
I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN
IN THE PALACE.
THAT'S WHAT
I MEAN.
THE QUEEN
DOESN'T ACT
LIKE THE KING.
NEVER!
I AGREE.
DON'T AGREE.
I DISAGREE.
WITH WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
MY GOODNESS!
IS THAT ROAST BEEF
I SMELL?
WE'RE HAVING IT
FOR DINNER.
MAY I HAVE
A SAMPLE?
WELL...
THANK YOU.
ROAST BEEF IS
MY FAVORITE DISH.
MY UNCLE
OWNS A PUB AND...
SHE TALKS SO MUCH,
I'M SURPRISED
SHE HAS TIME TO BREATHE.
ALL YOU DID
WAS AGREE WITH HER.
YOU'RE TOO AGREEABLE.
I AGREE.
YOU DID IT AGAIN!
I JUST CAN'T BE
INTENTIONALLY MEAN.
THE NICEST PEOPLE
HAVE MEAN STREAKS,
EVEN ME.
TELL HER TO LEAVE
YOUR APARTMENT.
I COULDN'T.
I COULD.
THANK YOU, MR. J.!
FINALLY I'LL BE ABLE
TO STOP SLEEPING
ON THE COUCH.
WAIT...
AND I WON'T SPEND
AS MUCH TIME HERE.
WAIT HERE.
I'LL HANDLE IT
FOR YOU.
MR. J., PLEASE BE GENTLE
WITH HER.
MY AUNT MADE
THE MOST WONDERFUL KIDNEY PIE.
FELICIA!
MR. JEFFERSON,
I'M TALKING.
I CAN HEAR ABOUT
YOUR AUNT'S KIDNEYS LATER.
FELICIA.
BENTLEY IS
A NICE GUY.
HE CERTAINLY IS.
SOMETIMES HE DOESN'T SAY
WHAT'S ON HIS MIND, DIG?
DIG?
UH, UNDERSTAND?
OH.
TWO WEEKS
IS A LONG TIME
TO STAY TOGETHER,
UNLESS YOU'RE
MARRIED, LIKE US.
YOU SEEM SO HAPPY.
WE LOVE EACH OTHER.
LIVING TOGETHER IS EASY.
WHEN ONE
SLEEPS ON THE SOFA,
THAT'S NO GOOD. DIG?
DUG.
UH-HUH.
BENTLEY'S
TRYING TO SAY
IT'S TIME YOU HAD
A PERMANENT HOME.
A PERMANENT HOME?
YEAH, YOU KNOW...
OH, HARRY!
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
HOW YOU FELT?
PLEASE DON'T CRY.
I ALWAYS CRY
WHEN I'M HAPPY.
HAPPY?
YES, YOU SWEET,
SHY THING,
GETTING MR. JEFFERSON
TO PROPOSE FOR YOU!
PROPOSE?
YES. WE'LL HAVE
A MARVELOUS LIFE TOGETHER.
TOGETHER?
I'M SO EXCITED!
I MUST RING MOTHER
AND TELL HER THE GOOD NEWS!
BUT...
WHAT DID YOU TELL
FELICIA?
I THOUGHT I TOLD HER
TO LEAVE.
SHE THINKS
SHE'S GETTING MARRIED.
I KNOW.
THE ENGLISH
DON'T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH.
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN FIRM.
RIGHT!
I SHOULD HAVE
SAID NO.
RIGHT!
I SHOULD TELL HER
WE'RE NOT MARRYING.
RIGHT!
I CAN'T!
BENTLEY!
WHAT HAPPENED?
FELICIA THINKS MR. BENTLEY
PROPOSED TO HER.
WHERE'D SHE GET
A DUMB IDEA LIKE THAT?
OH, DIRECT FROM THE FACTORY.
WE DON'T NEED
YOUR TWO CENTS.
YOU NEED ALL THE SENSE
YOU CAN GET.
I CAN'T MARRY
FELICIA,
AND I CAN'T BREAK
HER HEART.
WELL, GOOD LUCK.
SEE YOU LATER.
HOLD ON, BUSTER.
YOU HAVE TO GET MR. BENTLEY
OUT OF THIS MESS.
YOU SHOULDN'T ASK
MR. J. THAT.
RIGHT!
I SHOULD!
I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND FOREVER!
THAT'S WHAT
I'M AFRAID OF.
GO TELL FELICIA
MR. BENTLEY
WON'T MARRY HER.
OK, WEEZY.
COME ON, BENTLEY.
I CAN'T BE THERE.
I HATE IT WHEN
A GROWN-UP CRIES.
SHE'LL BE FINE.
NOT HER, ME!
EXCUSE ME!
OH, HARRY,
I'M SO HAPPY!
MOTHER WAS
BESIDE HERSELF
WHEN I TOLD HER.
WHO WOULD HAVE
IMAGINED IT
WHEN I POPPED UP
ON YOUR DOOR?
I FEEL LIKE
I'M DREAMING.
SO DO I.
MR. JEFFERSON,
I'M SO GRATEFUL.
IF YOU HADN'T PUT
HARRY'S FEELINGS INTO WORDS,
OUR LOVE MAY NEVER
HAVE BLOSSOMED.
YOU'VE GOT QUITE A HUSBAND,
MRS. JEFFERSON.
I KNOW.
THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE
HE WANTS TO TELL YOU.
OH, YEAH.
FELICIA...
NOT HERE, PLEASE.
WHY NOT?
WHAT IS IT?
I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.
THANKS AWFULLY.
YOU CAN BE
HARRY'S BEST MAN.
I'M SO HAPPY,
I'M TAKING YOU
TO CHARLEY'S BAR.
THE BEST MAN ALWAYS
BUYS THE BRIDE
A DRINK.
CAN'T HARRY COME?
THE GROOM
CAN'T SEE THE BRIDE DRINKING
BEFORE THE WEDDING.
REALLY?
WHEN IN AMERICA,
DO AS AMERICANS DO.
MR. JEFFERSON!
OH, ALLOW ME.
WHY, THANK YOU.
HEY, MR. JEFFERSON.
CHARLEY, YOU GOT
ANY CHAMPAGNE?
SURE.
WHAT'S THE SPECIAL
OCCASION?
I GOT TO CALL OFF
A MARRIAGE.
MR. JEFFERSON,
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S ROUGH.
YEAH.
YOU AND MRS. JEFFERSON
SEEMED SO HAPPY.
I'LL BE HAPPIER
WHEN YOU GET
THE CHAMPAGNE.
WHAT A CHARMING PLACE!
FELICIA...
WE HAVE A PUB AT HOME
LIKE IT,
EXCEPT THE BAR'S
OVER THERE...
ABOUT YOU AND BENTLEY
GETTING MARRIED...
ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?
I WAS SURPRISED
BY THE PROPOSAL.
YOU'RE NOT
THE ONLY ONE.
PARDON?
BENTLEY WAS SURPRISED
YOU ACCEPTED.
HOW COULD I
REFUSE HIM?
MARRIAGE IS
A BIG STEP.
I'M READY TO TAKE IT.
THERE ARE THINGS
ABOUT BENTLEY
YOU DON'T KNOW.
LIKE WHAT?
HIS BAD BACK
IS ALWAYS GOING OUT.
YOU'LL HAVE TO
WALK ON HIM.
OH, HOW ROMANTIC!
HE HAS NO
SENSE OF HUMOR,
EVEN FOR MY JOKES.
HOW CAN YOU TELL
AN ELEPHANT'S BEEN
IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR?
HOW?
YOU CAN SEE
HIS FOOTPRINTS
IN THE BUTTER!
HOW ON EARTH
WOULD AN ELEPHANT
GET IN A REFRIGERATOR?
WELL, YOU SEE...
NEVER MIND.
HARRY AND I
WILL GET ALONG
SWIMMINGLY.
WHAT IF HE LOSES
HIS JOB?
I NEVER WORRY.
THE THREE OF US
WILL MANAGE.
I KNOW...
THREE OF YOU?
YES.
HARRY AND MYSELF,
AND BABY
WILL BE ALONG SOON.
BABY?
DOES BENTLEY KNOW
ABOUT THAT?
IT CERTAINLY WON'T BE
A BIG SURPRISE.
WHAT?
HE DIDN'T
TELL ME THAT.
WAIT TILL I GET
MY HANDS ON HIM!
WHAT HAPPENED
WITH MR. JEFFERSON?
I MENTIONED
I'M HAVING MY CAT
SENT FROM ENGLAND.
CAT?
YES, THIS IS BABY,
MY PET SIAMESE.
SHE USUALLY GOES
EVERYWHERE WITH ME.
ONCE I WENT ON
A CYCLING HOLIDAY.
SHE TRAVELED
EVERY MILE WITH ME.
OUTSIDE OF BRIGHTON,
IT WAS RAINING TERRIBLY.
YOU GOT ALL WET,
DIDN'T YOU, DARLING?
MOMMY WRAPPED YOU
IN A TOWEL...
DID YOU DO IT?
NO, BENTLEY DID.
I DID WHAT?
YOU SHOULDN'T
HAVE DONE
WHAT YOU DID.
DID WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
BENTLEY LIED TO ME.
LIED?
YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE
SLEEPIN' ON THE COUCH.
RIGHT.
EITHER YOU'RE LYIN',
OR SOMEBODY IS
SLEEPWALKING.
GEORGE, WHAT
ARE YOU SAYING?
FELICIA IS GOING TO HAVE
A BABY.
A BABY?
A BABY?
GEORGE,
ARE YOU SURE?
DAMN RIGHT!
FELICIA TOLD ME HERSELF.
BUT HOW?
YOU MIGHT BE DUMB,
BUT YOU AIN'T
THAT DUMB.
MR. BENTLEY,
ARE YOU TELLING
US EVERYTHING?
WE HAVEN'T
EVEN HELD HANDS.
WHAT SHE'S GOT
DOESN'T COME FROM HOLDING HANDS.
MR. JEFFERSON,
HERE YOU ARE.
YOU LEFT
IN A HURRY.
I CAME TO TELL
BENTLEY SOMETHING.
WHAT WAS THAT,
HARRY?
MR. JEFFERSON TOLD ME
ABOUT YOUR BABY.
I WANTED
TO TELL YOU MYSELF.
WHO'S THE FATHER?
WHO KNOWS?
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?
IT MATTERS
PLENTY!
SOON IT'LL BE
BOTH OF OURS.
IT WILL?
YOU CAN WALK BABY
WHENEVER YOU WANT.
I CAN?
BABY WON'T BE
ANY TROUBLE.
SHE'LL TAKE CARE
OF HERSELF.
SHE WILL?
HOW DO YOU KNOW
IT'S A SHE?
THERE ARE MANY WAYS
TO TELL.
FELICIA, WHEN
ARE YOU EXPECTING
YOUR BABY?
ANY DAY NOW!
ANY DAY?
HOW ARE YOU
HIDING IT?
I'M NOT.
I LEFT HER WITH
THE VETERINARIAN.
VETERINARIAN?
YES.
HE SPECIALIZES
IN CATS.
CATS?
YOUR BABY
IS A CAT?
YES. THAT'S BABY,
MY PET SIAMESE.
THEN YOU'RE NOT HAVING
A REAL BABY?
A REAL BABY?
OH!
OH, HEAVENS, NO.
THAT WON'T COME
TILL AFTER
WE'RE MARRIED.
A CAT!
GEORGE THOUGHT...
NEVER MIND
WHAT GEORGE THOUGHT.
I CAN HARDLY WAIT
TILL BABY'S HERE.
THE THREE OF US
WILL BE SO HAPPY.
LET'S MAKE THOSE
WEDDING ARRANGEMENTS.
MR. J., DO SOMETHING!
BENTLEY HAS
SOMETHING TO SAY.
IT CAN'T WAIT.
BENTLEY'S ALLERGIC
TO CATS, RIGHT?
YES. I SNEEZE
UNCONTROLLABLY.
HIS EYES GET PUFFY.
I RUN A FEVER.
BENTLEY HATES CATS.
HATES CATS?
WHAT KIND OF A MAN
ARE YOU?
A DOG MAN?
WOOF!
FELICIA, YOU GOT
A BIG DECISION TO MAKE.
WILL IT BE YOUR CAT
OR BENTLEY?
OF COURSE,
I'M HOUSEBROKEN.
SO IS BABY.
I DON'T SHED.
BENTLEY!
I MEAN,
I DO SHED.
HARRY, I'M AFRAID
ANY MAN WHO CAN'T
BE AROUND CATS
CAN'T BE AROUND ME.
I HATE TO BREAK
YOUR HEART.
YOU'LL GET OVER IT.
I'M PACKING
AND GOING HOME
TO BABY.
TA-TA.
TA-TA!
TA-TA!
TA-TA!
♪ BORN FREE ♪
AT LAST,
I'M FREE TO GO HOME
TO MY OWN APARTMENT.
ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?
IT'S WONDERFUL.
♪ AS FREE AS THE WIND BLOWS ♪♪
IT'S TIME YOU
WENT TO BED.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.
THE JEFFERSONS WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T BURN
ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
THAT HILL ♪
GET UP
♪ JUST TO
♪ NOW WE'RE UP
IN THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE ♪
♪ IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T
NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE
OF THE PIE ♪♪
GEORGE?
FLORENCE?
IS ANYBODY HERE?
HELLO!
MR. BENTLEY! WHAT WERE
YOU DOING OUT THERE?
WASHING THE WINDOW.
WHY?
BECAUSE IT WAS DIRTY.
I MEAN,
WHY WERE YOU WASHING IT?
THAT'S FLORENCE'S JOB.
SHE WAS KIND ENOUGH
TO LET ME DO IT.
SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING
IN HER BEDROOM.
NOTHING LIKE A NICE,
LONG NAP.
FLORENCE.
I SURE WISH I HAD
TIME TO TAKE ONE.
WHY WAS MR. BENTLEY
CLEANING OUR WINDOWS?
'CAUSE HE HATES
WATCHING SOAP OPERAS.
WHAT?
UNFORTUNATELY,
FELICIA LOVES THEM.
OH, YOUR HOUSEGUEST.
IS SHE STILL HERE?
I'M AFRAID SO.
IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS...
AND 11 HOURS
AND 13 MINUTES.
WHY'S SHE STAYING
WITH YOU ANYWAY?
SHE JUST TURNED UP
ON MY DOORSTEP,
AND I SAID
SOMETHING TERRIBLE.
WHAT?
I SAID, "COME IN."
CAN'T YOU SAY,
"GET OUT"?
I CAN'T.
SHE'S THE ONLY DAUGHTER
OF MY MOTHER'S
BEST FRIEND'S SISTER.
OR IS SHE THE ONLY SISTER
OF MY MOTHER'S
BEST FRIEND'S DAUGHTER?
WHAT'S THAT?
THAT'S MY TEAKETTLE.
THAT GIRL IS DRIVING
POOR MR. BENTLEY CRAZY.
WELL, FOR HIM,
IT'S A VERY
SHORT DRIVE.
HE'S ALWAYS OVER HERE.
HE EVEN DOES
YOUR HOUSEWORK.
YEAH.
AIN'T THAT
TERRIBLE?
HERE WE ARE,
TEA AND CAKES.
YOU GOT
THOSE COOKIES
THAT I LIKE.
WOULD YOU GET THAT?
I'M ON MY TEA BREAK.
FELICIA!
HELLO,
MRS. JEFFERSON.
HARRY, YOU SPEND
MORE TIME HERE
THAN AT YOUR PLACE!
LUCKILY,
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT
AVOIDING ME!
FELICIA...
I MUST TELL YOU
ABOUT THIS SOAP OPERA.
FELICIA...
THIS CHARACTER
WON'T LET ANYONE
SAY A WORD.
FELICIA!
HARRY, I'M TALKING.
SORRY.
WOULD YOU LIKE
SOME TEA?
WE'LL MISS
THE SECOND HALF
OF THE SOAP OPERA.
SORRY TO DASH.
WE MUST CHAT
AGAIN SOON!
ENGLAND SURE MUST BE QUIET
WITH HER OUT OF THE COUNTRY.
POOR MR. BENTLEY.
MAY I BORROW
SOME TISSUES?
FELICIA MUST DRY
HER EYES.
YOU ASKED HER
TO LEAVE?
NO. SHE TAKES
HER SOAP OPERA
SERIOUSLY.
I'LL GET THEM.
I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.
GEORGE, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?
CHECKIN'.
HE AIN'T HERE.
WHO?
BENTLEY.
YOU CALLED?
YOU HERE AGAIN?
YES.
YOU SHOULD
MOVE IN.
I'D LOVE TO!
FORGET WHAT I SAID.
I'M SAYING GOOD-BYE.
GEORGE, BE CONSIDERATE.
MR. BENTLEY HAS A PROBLEM.
WEEZY, I GOT
MY OWN PROBLEMS.
ONE IS PHIL ROLLINS.
YOUR NEW CLIENT?
HE WANTS ME
TO HIRE HIS SON.
BOBBY WORKS
FOR HIM.
BOBBY'S SO DUMB,
ROLLINS WANTS HIM
IN MY BUSINESS.
IF ROLLINS CALLS,
I AIN'T HOME, FLORENCE.
I DON'T LIKE LYIN'.
WOULD YOU LIKE STANDING
IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE?
COULD I BORROW
SOME ICE?
CERTAINLY,
MR. BENTLEY.
I CAN WAIT
UNTIL YOU MAKE SOME.
HELLO.
JEFFERSON RESIDENCE.
YES, HE IS.
MR. J.!
BENTLEY!
IT'S MR. ROLLINS.
I'M NOT TALKING
TO THAT TURKEY.
OH, HELLO, ROLLINS.
WHAT?
OF COURSE I WANT TO SPEAK
TO MY BEST CLIENT.
TURKEY?
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HAVING
FOR DINNER.
BOBBY, YOUR SON?
HOW IS HE?
A JOB.
I DON'T HAVE
ANY OPENINGS.
I'LL GET BACK TO YOU, OK?
OK, BYE.
THAT DOES IT,
BENTLEY.
GEORGE,
WHAT'S GOING ON?
BENTLEY ALMOST
BLEW AN ACCOUNT.
AS LONG AS FELICIA
IS VISITING MR. BENTLEY,
HE'S GOING TO VISIT US.
SHE'S RIGHT.
TELL FELICIA
TO GET LOST.
MY MOTHER WOULD
NEVER FORGIVE ME.
WHY WOULD
YOUR MOTHER CARE?
FELICIA IS THE DAUGHTER OF
MOTHER'S BEST FRIEND'S SISTER.
LOOK, BENTLEY,
START AN ARGUMENT WITH HER,
AND SHE'LL LEAVE.
I'M NOT GOOD
AT STARTING
ARGUMENTS.
WHATEVER SHE SAYS,
JUST DISAGREE.
WILL THAT
REALLY WORK?
IF THERE'S ONE THING
GEORGE KNOWS,
IT'S HOW TO START
AN ARGUMENT.
SO WHATEVER
FELICIA SAYS,
I JUST SAY
THE OPPOSITE.
I'VE GOT IT.
HARRY, YOU MISSED
THE SOAP OPERA.
DRAT.
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT HAPPENED.
THEN WE'LL LOOK
AT MY SLIDES
OF WALES.
MR. JEFFERSON,
HAVE YOU EVER
SEEN WALES?
NO, BUT I DID SEE JAWS.
JAWS!
YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL
SENSE OF HUMOR.
HARRY, YOU HAVE
FINE FRIENDS.
LIKE MY NEIGHBORS BACK HOME...
ASIDE FROM THE COLOR.
YOU'RE WEARIN' PANTS!
WHY, YES,
I AM.
I'M JUST SURPRISED,
KNOWING HOW BENTLEY
FEELS ABOUT THAT.
REALLY?
HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT THAT, HARRY?
HE THINKS ONLY MEN
SHOULD WEAR PANTS.
RIGHT, BENTLEY?
YES, THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I THINK.
WHY SHOULDN'T
WOMEN WEAR PANTS?
BECAUSE...
WHY SHOULDN'T
WOMEN WEAR PANTS?
DID YOU EVER
SEE THE QUEEN
WITHOUT A DRESS?
I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN
IN THE PALACE.
THAT'S WHAT
I MEAN.
THE QUEEN
DOESN'T ACT
LIKE THE KING.
NEVER!
I AGREE.
DON'T AGREE.
I DISAGREE.
WITH WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW.
MY GOODNESS!
IS THAT ROAST BEEF
I SMELL?
WE'RE HAVING IT
FOR DINNER.
MAY I HAVE
A SAMPLE?
WELL...
THANK YOU.
ROAST BEEF IS
MY FAVORITE DISH.
MY UNCLE
OWNS A PUB AND...
SHE TALKS SO MUCH,
I'M SURPRISED
SHE HAS TIME TO BREATHE.
ALL YOU DID
WAS AGREE WITH HER.
YOU'RE TOO AGREEABLE.
I AGREE.
YOU DID IT AGAIN!
I JUST CAN'T BE
INTENTIONALLY MEAN.
THE NICEST PEOPLE
HAVE MEAN STREAKS,
EVEN ME.
TELL HER TO LEAVE
YOUR APARTMENT.
I COULDN'T.
I COULD.
THANK YOU, MR. J.!
FINALLY I'LL BE ABLE
TO STOP SLEEPING
ON THE COUCH.
WAIT...
AND I WON'T SPEND
AS MUCH TIME HERE.
WAIT HERE.
I'LL HANDLE IT
FOR YOU.
MR. J., PLEASE BE GENTLE
WITH HER.
MY AUNT MADE
THE MOST WONDERFUL KIDNEY PIE.
FELICIA!
MR. JEFFERSON,
I'M TALKING.
I CAN HEAR ABOUT
YOUR AUNT'S KIDNEYS LATER.
FELICIA.
BENTLEY IS
A NICE GUY.
HE CERTAINLY IS.
SOMETIMES HE DOESN'T SAY
WHAT'S ON HIS MIND, DIG?
DIG?
UH, UNDERSTAND?
OH.
TWO WEEKS
IS A LONG TIME
TO STAY TOGETHER,
UNLESS YOU'RE
MARRIED, LIKE US.
YOU SEEM SO HAPPY.
WE LOVE EACH OTHER.
LIVING TOGETHER IS EASY.
WHEN ONE
SLEEPS ON THE SOFA,
THAT'S NO GOOD. DIG?
DUG.
UH-HUH.
BENTLEY'S
TRYING TO SAY
IT'S TIME YOU HAD
A PERMANENT HOME.
A PERMANENT HOME?
YEAH, YOU KNOW...
OH, HARRY!
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
HOW YOU FELT?
PLEASE DON'T CRY.
I ALWAYS CRY
WHEN I'M HAPPY.
HAPPY?
YES, YOU SWEET,
SHY THING,
GETTING MR. JEFFERSON
TO PROPOSE FOR YOU!
PROPOSE?
YES. WE'LL HAVE
A MARVELOUS LIFE TOGETHER.
TOGETHER?
I'M SO EXCITED!
I MUST RING MOTHER
AND TELL HER THE GOOD NEWS!
BUT...
WHAT DID YOU TELL
FELICIA?
I THOUGHT I TOLD HER
TO LEAVE.
SHE THINKS
SHE'S GETTING MARRIED.
I KNOW.
THE ENGLISH
DON'T UNDERSTAND ENGLISH.
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN FIRM.
RIGHT!
I SHOULD HAVE
SAID NO.
RIGHT!
I SHOULD TELL HER
WE'RE NOT MARRYING.
RIGHT!
I CAN'T!
BENTLEY!
WHAT HAPPENED?
FELICIA THINKS MR. BENTLEY
PROPOSED TO HER.
WHERE'D SHE GET
A DUMB IDEA LIKE THAT?
OH, DIRECT FROM THE FACTORY.
WE DON'T NEED
YOUR TWO CENTS.
YOU NEED ALL THE SENSE
YOU CAN GET.
I CAN'T MARRY
FELICIA,
AND I CAN'T BREAK
HER HEART.
WELL, GOOD LUCK.
SEE YOU LATER.
HOLD ON, BUSTER.
YOU HAVE TO GET MR. BENTLEY
OUT OF THIS MESS.
YOU SHOULDN'T ASK
MR. J. THAT.
RIGHT!
I SHOULD!
I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND FOREVER!
THAT'S WHAT
I'M AFRAID OF.
GO TELL FELICIA
MR. BENTLEY
WON'T MARRY HER.
OK, WEEZY.
COME ON, BENTLEY.
I CAN'T BE THERE.
I HATE IT WHEN
A GROWN-UP CRIES.
SHE'LL BE FINE.
NOT HER, ME!
EXCUSE ME!
OH, HARRY,
I'M SO HAPPY!
MOTHER WAS
BESIDE HERSELF
WHEN I TOLD HER.
WHO WOULD HAVE
IMAGINED IT
WHEN I POPPED UP
ON YOUR DOOR?
I FEEL LIKE
I'M DREAMING.
SO DO I.
MR. JEFFERSON,
I'M SO GRATEFUL.
IF YOU HADN'T PUT
HARRY'S FEELINGS INTO WORDS,
OUR LOVE MAY NEVER
HAVE BLOSSOMED.
YOU'VE GOT QUITE A HUSBAND,
MRS. JEFFERSON.
I KNOW.
THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE
HE WANTS TO TELL YOU.
OH, YEAH.
FELICIA...
NOT HERE, PLEASE.
WHY NOT?
WHAT IS IT?
I'M HAPPY FOR YOU.
THANKS AWFULLY.
YOU CAN BE
HARRY'S BEST MAN.
I'M SO HAPPY,
I'M TAKING YOU
TO CHARLEY'S BAR.
THE BEST MAN ALWAYS
BUYS THE BRIDE
A DRINK.
CAN'T HARRY COME?
THE GROOM
CAN'T SEE THE BRIDE DRINKING
BEFORE THE WEDDING.
REALLY?
WHEN IN AMERICA,
DO AS AMERICANS DO.
MR. JEFFERSON!
OH, ALLOW ME.
WHY, THANK YOU.
HEY, MR. JEFFERSON.
CHARLEY, YOU GOT
ANY CHAMPAGNE?
SURE.
WHAT'S THE SPECIAL
OCCASION?
I GOT TO CALL OFF
A MARRIAGE.
MR. JEFFERSON,
I'M SORRY.
THAT'S ROUGH.
YEAH.
YOU AND MRS. JEFFERSON
SEEMED SO HAPPY.
I'LL BE HAPPIER
WHEN YOU GET
THE CHAMPAGNE.
WHAT A CHARMING PLACE!
FELICIA...
WE HAVE A PUB AT HOME
LIKE IT,
EXCEPT THE BAR'S
OVER THERE...
ABOUT YOU AND BENTLEY
GETTING MARRIED...
ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?
I WAS SURPRISED
BY THE PROPOSAL.
YOU'RE NOT
THE ONLY ONE.
PARDON?
BENTLEY WAS SURPRISED
YOU ACCEPTED.
HOW COULD I
REFUSE HIM?
MARRIAGE IS
A BIG STEP.
I'M READY TO TAKE IT.
THERE ARE THINGS
ABOUT BENTLEY
YOU DON'T KNOW.
LIKE WHAT?
HIS BAD BACK
IS ALWAYS GOING OUT.
YOU'LL HAVE TO
WALK ON HIM.
OH, HOW ROMANTIC!
HE HAS NO
SENSE OF HUMOR,
EVEN FOR MY JOKES.
HOW CAN YOU TELL
AN ELEPHANT'S BEEN
IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR?
HOW?
YOU CAN SEE
HIS FOOTPRINTS
IN THE BUTTER!
HOW ON EARTH
WOULD AN ELEPHANT
GET IN A REFRIGERATOR?
WELL, YOU SEE...
NEVER MIND.
HARRY AND I
WILL GET ALONG
SWIMMINGLY.
WHAT IF HE LOSES
HIS JOB?
I NEVER WORRY.
THE THREE OF US
WILL MANAGE.
I KNOW...
THREE OF YOU?
YES.
HARRY AND MYSELF,
AND BABY
WILL BE ALONG SOON.
BABY?
DOES BENTLEY KNOW
ABOUT THAT?
IT CERTAINLY WON'T BE
A BIG SURPRISE.
WHAT?
HE DIDN'T
TELL ME THAT.
WAIT TILL I GET
MY HANDS ON HIM!
WHAT HAPPENED
WITH MR. JEFFERSON?
I MENTIONED
I'M HAVING MY CAT
SENT FROM ENGLAND.
CAT?
YES, THIS IS BABY,
MY PET SIAMESE.
SHE USUALLY GOES
EVERYWHERE WITH ME.
ONCE I WENT ON
A CYCLING HOLIDAY.
SHE TRAVELED
EVERY MILE WITH ME.
OUTSIDE OF BRIGHTON,
IT WAS RAINING TERRIBLY.
YOU GOT ALL WET,
DIDN'T YOU, DARLING?
MOMMY WRAPPED YOU
IN A TOWEL...
DID YOU DO IT?
NO, BENTLEY DID.
I DID WHAT?
YOU SHOULDN'T
HAVE DONE
WHAT YOU DID.
DID WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
BENTLEY LIED TO ME.
LIED?
YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE
SLEEPIN' ON THE COUCH.
RIGHT.
EITHER YOU'RE LYIN',
OR SOMEBODY IS
SLEEPWALKING.
GEORGE, WHAT
ARE YOU SAYING?
FELICIA IS GOING TO HAVE
A BABY.
A BABY?
A BABY?
GEORGE,
ARE YOU SURE?
DAMN RIGHT!
FELICIA TOLD ME HERSELF.
BUT HOW?
YOU MIGHT BE DUMB,
BUT YOU AIN'T
THAT DUMB.
MR. BENTLEY,
ARE YOU TELLING
US EVERYTHING?
WE HAVEN'T
EVEN HELD HANDS.
WHAT SHE'S GOT
DOESN'T COME FROM HOLDING HANDS.
MR. JEFFERSON,
HERE YOU ARE.
YOU LEFT
IN A HURRY.
I CAME TO TELL
BENTLEY SOMETHING.
WHAT WAS THAT,
HARRY?
MR. JEFFERSON TOLD ME
ABOUT YOUR BABY.
I WANTED
TO TELL YOU MYSELF.
WHO'S THE FATHER?
WHO KNOWS?
WHAT DOES IT MATTER?
IT MATTERS
PLENTY!
SOON IT'LL BE
BOTH OF OURS.
IT WILL?
YOU CAN WALK BABY
WHENEVER YOU WANT.
I CAN?
BABY WON'T BE
ANY TROUBLE.
SHE'LL TAKE CARE
OF HERSELF.
SHE WILL?
HOW DO YOU KNOW
IT'S A SHE?
THERE ARE MANY WAYS
TO TELL.
FELICIA, WHEN
ARE YOU EXPECTING
YOUR BABY?
ANY DAY NOW!
ANY DAY?
HOW ARE YOU
HIDING IT?
I'M NOT.
I LEFT HER WITH
THE VETERINARIAN.
VETERINARIAN?
YES.
HE SPECIALIZES
IN CATS.
CATS?
YOUR BABY
IS A CAT?
YES. THAT'S BABY,
MY PET SIAMESE.
THEN YOU'RE NOT HAVING
A REAL BABY?
A REAL BABY?
OH!
OH, HEAVENS, NO.
THAT WON'T COME
TILL AFTER
WE'RE MARRIED.
A CAT!
GEORGE THOUGHT...
NEVER MIND
WHAT GEORGE THOUGHT.
I CAN HARDLY WAIT
TILL BABY'S HERE.
THE THREE OF US
WILL BE SO HAPPY.
LET'S MAKE THOSE
WEDDING ARRANGEMENTS.
MR. J., DO SOMETHING!
BENTLEY HAS
SOMETHING TO SAY.
IT CAN'T WAIT.
BENTLEY'S ALLERGIC
TO CATS, RIGHT?
YES. I SNEEZE
UNCONTROLLABLY.
HIS EYES GET PUFFY.
I RUN A FEVER.
BENTLEY HATES CATS.
HATES CATS?
WHAT KIND OF A MAN
ARE YOU?
A DOG MAN?
WOOF!
FELICIA, YOU GOT
A BIG DECISION TO MAKE.
WILL IT BE YOUR CAT
OR BENTLEY?
OF COURSE,
I'M HOUSEBROKEN.
SO IS BABY.
I DON'T SHED.
BENTLEY!
I MEAN,
I DO SHED.
HARRY, I'M AFRAID
ANY MAN WHO CAN'T
BE AROUND CATS
CAN'T BE AROUND ME.
I HATE TO BREAK
YOUR HEART.
YOU'LL GET OVER IT.
I'M PACKING
AND GOING HOME
TO BABY.
TA-TA.
TA-TA!
TA-TA!
TA-TA!
♪ BORN FREE ♪
AT LAST,
I'M FREE TO GO HOME
TO MY OWN APARTMENT.
ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?
IT'S WONDERFUL.
♪ AS FREE AS THE WIND BLOWS ♪♪
IT'S TIME YOU
WENT TO BED.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT.
THE JEFFERSONS WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.