The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 4, Episode 3 - Once a Friend - full transcript
George is excited when he learns that an old Navy pal is in town and wants him to stop by at his hotel for a visit. However his old pal, Eddie, has a big surprise for George; her name is now Edie and she has undergone a sex change operation. Meanwhile, confusion with Edie's name leads Louise to believe that George is having an affair with a woman named Edie.
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ M-MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN'
JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE
IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ M-MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE ♪
♪ OF THE PIE ♪♪
♪♪ [Whistling]
♪♪ [Whistling]
♪♪ [Humming]
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING, FLORENCE?
FLORENCE? [Laughing] I
WAS JUST JOKING, WEEZY.
I KNEW IT WAS YOU.
YOU BETTER HAD.
LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TO SEE
YOUR FACE TO RECOGNIZE YOU.
WHAT YOU GOT BACK
THERE IS ONE OF A KIND.
THANK YOU, GEORGE.
I THINK.
WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?
LET'S SEE. BILL.
BILL, BILL. [Groans]
ANY CALLS? WELL, I WAS
OUT MOST OF THE DAY,
BUT IF FLORENCE TOOK ANY
MESSAGES, THEY'RE THERE BY THE PHONE.
OH, YEAH. HERE'S A COUPLE.
"IMPORTANT MESSAGE: DON'T FORGET
TO PAY YOUR HARDWORKING MAID...
"THE $50 BET YOU LOST
TO HER LAST MONTH,
OR YOU DON'T GET
NO MORE MESSAGES."
I GOT A MESSAGE
FOR HER. FLORENCE!
SHE'S NOT HERE. I GAVE HER THE
AFTERNOON OFF TO GO SHOPPING.
- YOU WHAT?
- MACY'S IS HAVING
A MONSTER SALE.
HUH. MAYBE WE'LL GET LUCKY
AND SOMEBODY WILL BUY FLORENCE.
[Laughs]
[Muttering]
I CAN'T READ THIS
ONE. HERE. LET ME TRY.
HOW COME FLORENCE CAN ONLY WRITE
GOOD WHEN SHE'S ASKING FOR MONEY?
IT SAYS, "MR. JEFFERSON,
"EDIE STOKES IN TOWN,
MARQUIS HOTEL, ROOM 516.
PLEASE CALL."
EDIE STOKES? WHO'S EDIE STOKES?
THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW.
- I DON'T KNOW NO EDIE STOKES.
- WELL, SHE KNOWS YOU.
GIMME THAT. WHO IS SHE?
A STRANGER, THAT'S WHO SHE IS.
GEORGE, I WANT AN ANSWER.
- I GOT IT. IT'S FLORENCE.
- FLORENCE?
LOOK, FLORENCE CAN'T WRITE,
AND SHE CAN'T SPELL NEITHER.
SHE LEFT OUT A "D." IT'S AIN'T
"EDIE STOKES," IT'S "EDDIE STOKES."
- WHO'S EDDIE STOKES?
- YOU KNOW, EDDIE STOKES,
MY OLD NAVY BUDDY.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT HIM?
NEVER. [Chuckling]
THERE'S A LOT ABOUT THE
NAVY I NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT.
I'LL BET. ME AND EDDIE
DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER.
SHOOT, HE SLEPT ON TOP
OF ME FOR TWO YEARS.
THAT MUST HAVE
BEEN UNCOMFORTABLE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
WE WERE BUNKMATES.
OH, EDDIE USED TO LOVE TO
PLAY PRACTICAL JOKES ON PEOPLE.
HE WAS THE MASTER
OF THE "GOTCHA."
[Laughing] WHAT'S A "GOTCHA"?
A GOT... WELL, FOR INSTANCE,
EDDIE USED TO RIG UP...
THIS BUCKET OF WATER, YOU
KNOW, OVER THE BARRACKS DOOR,
AND THE NEXT DUDE THAT
CAME IN GOT A BIG SHOWER.
THAT'S A GOTCHA!
HE EVEN GOT ME ONCE,
BUT I GOT HIM BACK.
[Laughing] OH, EDDIE GOT
SO DRUNK ONE NIGHT,
AND WE TOOK HIM DOWN
TO THIS TATTOO PARLOR...
AND HAD THE NAME "MYRTLE"
TATTOOED ON HIS ARM.
WHO'S MYRTLE?
MYRTLE WAS THE CHIEF'S WIFE.
OH, EDDIE HAD TO WEAR
LONG SLEEVES FOR TWO YEARS.
- THAT'S A PANIC, GEORGE.
- NO, THAT'S A GOTCHA.
[Laughing] OH, WEEZY,
YOU'D LOVE HIM. WHAT A GUY.
- UH, WHERE YOU GOING?
- I'M GOING OUT TO THE HOTEL. I'M GONNA SURPRISE EDDIE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT OLD
EDDIE IS IN TOWN AFTER 25 YEARS.
IT'S JEFFERSON AND
STOKES, TOGETHER AGAIN.
AND JUST WHEN NEW YORK WAS
GETTING BACK ON ITS FEET. [Laughing]
♪ ANCHORS AWEIGH, MY BOY ♪
WHO YOU CALLIN' BOY?
HA, HA! SEE YOU, WEEZY.
GOTCHA! [Screams]
[Laughing]
EXCUSE ME. I THOUGHT THIS
WAS EDDIE STOKES'S ROOM.
- IT IS.
- IT IS? OH, ARE YOU HIS WIFE?
- NO.
- AH, HA, HA. SAME OLD EDDIE, HUH?
WHERE IS HE?
WELL, YOU SEE, I'M...
OH, I GOT IT... HE DON'T
WANT ME TO KNOW HE'S HERE,
SO YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO SAY HE AIN'T HERE,
BUT HE IS HERE...
IN THERE. [Laughs]
GOTCHA!
GOT...
OKAY, EDDIE. I KNOW
YOU'RE IN THERE.
COME ON OUT OF THE CLOSET.
I'M ALREADY OUT OF
THE CLOSET, GEORGE.
IT'S ME... EDDIE.
ONLY I'M EDIE NOW.
SAY WHAT?
TAKE A GOOD LOOK.
[Laughing]
OH, YOU'RE STILL THE SAME OLD
EDDIE. YOU AIN'T CHANGED A BIT.
WELL, STILL ACE
NUMBER-ONE JOKER, HUH?
WHAT A COSTUME! YOU REALLY
HAD ME FOOLED THIS TIME.
GEORGE, I THINK I
SHOULD EXPLAIN.
COME ON, MAN, GET OUT OF THAT
CRAZY OUTFIT. LET'S GO HAVE A DRINK.
YOU CAN START BY TAKING
OFF THIS DUMB-LOOKING WIG. OW!
- IT'S REAL.
- YOU'RE JIVING.
I'M NOT. GEORGE, WHAT
I'M TRYING TO SAY IS...
WELL, I'VE CHANGED.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING
TO TELL ME, EDDIE?
THAT YOU'RE A FAIRY?
- COME ON, SAY IT. I CAN HANDLE IT.
- NO, GEORGE, I'M NOT GAY.
THANK GOD! I DON'T THINK
I COULD HAVE HANDLED IT.
COME ON. I COULD
REALLY USE THAT DRINK.
LOOK, I DON'T MIND THAT HAIR,
BUT THE DRESS HAS GOT TO GO.
YOU GET OUT OF THAT RENTED
COSTUME, AND I'LL PICK YOU OUT A PAIR...
DAMN, EDDIE. YOU WENT ALL THE
WAY WITH THIS JOKE, DIDN'T YOU?
YOU RENTED ALL THIS
STUFF JUST TO FOOL ME?
NOW, WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?
THOSE ARE MY CLOTHES.
[Laughing] OKAY, EDDIE,
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
WHAT DO YOU KEEP IN
HERE, YOUR BRASSIERE?
LOOK, EDDIE, ME AND YOU
USED TO BE BEST FRIENDS, RIGHT?
WE NEVER HAD NO
SECRETS FROM EACH OTHER.
YOU COULD TELL ME ANYTHING, NO
MATTER HOW BAD IT IS. SO TELL ME.
ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE GUYS THAT
LIKES TO DRESS UP IN WOMEN'S CLOTHES?
ARE YOU ONE OF THEM, UH...
- TRANSVESTITES?
- YEAH, ONE OF THEM.
- NO.
- GOOD, 'CAUSE I CAN'T STAND
THEM WEIRDOS.
WELL, LOOK, IF YOU AIN'T GAY AND
YOU AIN'T A WEIRDO, WHAT ARE YOU?
I HAD THE OPERATION.
I HAD A SEX CHANGE.
GEORGE, I'M A WOMAN NOW.
[Groans]
OH, EDDIE.
I'M NOT EDDIE ANYMORE. I'M EDIE.
- THIS AIN'T A GOTCHA?
- THIS AIN'T A GOTCHA.
- WHY, EDDIE? WHY'D YOU DO IT?
- I WISH YOU'D CALL ME EDIE.
I CAN'T!
LOOK, UNDERNEATH ALL THAT MAKEUP
AND THAT DRESS, YOU'RE STILL EDDIE.
I KNOW HE'S IN THERE SOMEWHERE.
LOOK, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND,
GEORGE. I'M A WOMAN.
DEEP DOWN INSIDE, I'VE ALWAYS
BEEN A WOMAN. EVEN IN THE NAVY?
- EVEN IN THE NAVY.
- OH, NOW YOU TELL ME.
AFTER YOU LET ME UNDRESS IN
FRONT OF YOU FOR TWO YEARS.
NOW, GEORGE, THIS ISN'T SOMETHING
THAT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT.
I WENT THROUGH YEARS OF
ANALYSIS, BUT THAT DIDN'T HELP.
AS A MAN, I WAS MISERABLE.
EVERYTHING ABOUT ME WAS A
WOMAN EXCEPT THE WAY I LOOKED,
SO I HAD THE OPERATION.
OH, EDDIE, MAN, LOOK WHAT
YOU'VE DONE TO YOURSELF.
NOW, GEORGE, NOW, I UNDERSTAND
WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM.
IT'S HARD FOR PEOPLE
TO ACCEPT WHAT I'VE DONE.
MOST OF MY OLD FRIENDS COULDN'T.
SO NOW I HAVE NEW FRIENDS.
I HAVE A JOB I ENJOY,
A PLACE OF MY OWN.
I FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
GEORGE, FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY LIFE, I'M REALLY HAPPY.
YEAH, I'M THRILLED TOO.
GEORGE, I HAVE A
CONFESSION TO MAKE.
WHAT WAS THAT YOU JUST MADE?
LOOK, GEORGE, I WASN'T
EVEN GONNA CALL YOU.
I'VE BEEN IN NEW YORK SIX DAYS.
I'M FLYING HOME TO OHIO TONIGHT.
TOOK ME ALL THIS TIME TO GET
UP THE COURAGE TO CALL YOU.
MY OLD BUDDY.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME THAT
YOU, AT LEAST, UNDERSTAND.
I UNDERSTAND.
OH, GOOD! NOW LET'S GO HAVE
THAT DRINK YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.
[Screams]
LOOK AT THE TIME.
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS SO LATE.
I GOT AN IMPORTANT MEETING.
WHAT KIND OF MEETING CAN'T WAIT
FOR ONE DRINK BETWEEN OLD FRIENDS?
UH... ALCOHOLICS
ANONYMOUS. [Laughs]
GOOD SEEING YOU AGAIN. HEY!
HOLD THAT ELEVATOR!
YEAH, GEORGE.
YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
[Sighs]
HI, MRS. JEFFERSON. HELLO,
FLORENCE. HOW WAS THE SALE?
CHILD, IT WAS A MADHOUSE.
FOLKS SCREAMIN' AND
PUSHIN' AND KICKIN'.
- KICKING? THAT'S TERRIBLE.
- YEAH. I ALMOST BROKE MY TOE.
WHERE'S MR. JEFFERSON? I'M REALLY
GONNA NEED THAT $50 HE OWES ME NOW.
HE'S OUT WITH AN OLD FRIEND. YOU
KNOW, THE ONE WHO CALLED BEFORE?
YEAH. WHO IS SHE, ANYWAY?
IT'S NOT A SHE, FLORENCE.
IT'S EDDIE STOKES, A FRIEND
OF GEORGE'S FROM THE NAVY.
NAVY?
IF MR. JEFFERSON'S
FRIEND WAS IN THE NAVY,
SHE WAS A WAVE.
FLORENCE, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
WHY WOULD GEORGE TELL ME HE'S
GOING TO A HOTEL TO MEET A MAN,
WHEN HE'S REALLY
GOING TO MEET A WOMAN?
- I'D BETTER GET TO WORK.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
I'LL SHOW YOU THAT
YOU ARE WRONG.
WHY CAN'T YOU ADMIT THAT
YOU JUST MADE A MISTAKE?
I MEAN, A VOICE ON THE
TELEPHONE CAN FOOL YOU.
LOTS OF MEN HAVE HIGH VOICES.
HELLO. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW...
IF YOU HAVE A MR. EDDIE
STOKES REGISTERED IN ROOM 516.
I'M NOT A SIR, I'M A MADAM.
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?
YES? YOU DON'T?
ARE YOU SURE? BECAUSE...
OH. I SEE.
MISS EDITH STOKES.
HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID?
WHY, THAT NO-GOOD,
MISERABLE LITTLE... LITTLE...
- RUNT?
- RUNT.
OH, FLORENCE, MY LITTLE RUNT
IS OUT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.
I'LL KILL HIM!
NOW WAIT A MINUTE,
MRS. JEFFERSON.
I'M SURE MR. JEFFERSON'S
GOT A GOOD EXPLANATION.
ARE YOU SURE? YEAH.
EVEN WHEN HE DOES SOMETHING
WRONG, HE'S GOT A GOOD EXPLANATION.
HI, WEEZY.
GEORGE, I DIDN'T EXPECT
YOU HOME SO SOON.
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?
HUH? OH, UH, YEAH. SURE.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
NOTHING MUCH.
FLORENCE, I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D
PUT SOMETHING IN THE KITCHEN FOR ME.
- WHAT?
- YOUR MOUTH.
WHERE'S EDDIE? WHY
DIDN'T YOU BRING HIM HOME?
WHAT? OH, UH, HE HAD TO
CATCH A PLANE TONIGHT.
OH, THAT'S A PITY.
I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO
MEETING YOUR OLD BUNKMATE.
WELL, YOU CAN'T,
'CAUSE HE'S GONE.
HOW IS HE? WHO?
EDDIE. UH...
HE'S, UH, CHANGED.
HE'S... OLDER?
YEAH, THAT TOO.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS,
FOLLOW THE LEADER?
I'D JUST LIKE TO HEAR
MORE ABOUT EDDIE.
LOOK, I WENT TO THE HOTEL
TO SEE MY FRIEND. I SAW HIM.
I SAID HELLO, THEN I SAID
GOOD-BYE, THEN I LEFT, OKAY?
GEORGE, I CALLED THE HOTEL,
AND THE DESK CLERK TOLD ME...
THERE WAS AN EDITH
STOKES IN ROOM 516.
SO STOP LYING TO ME, GEORGE.
WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT,
AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?
OKAY, WEEZY, IF YOU REALLY WANT
TO KNOW THE TRUTH, I'LL TELL YOU.
MY OLD BUDDY EDDIE HAD
A SEX-CHANGE OPERATION.
OOH-WHEE!
NOW, THAT'S A GOOD
ONE, MR. JEFFERSON.
THAT'S THE BEST
ONE YOU EVER TOLD.
WEEZY... DON'T TOUCH ME,
YOU NO-GOOD TWO-TIMER.
OKAY, I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU.
- WHO ARE YOU CALLING?
- THE HOTEL. I'M GONNA
HAVE EDDIE COME OVER HERE,
AND YOU CAN SEE WITH
YOUR OWN EYES THAT I...
HELLO? UH, YEAH,
YOU CAN HELP ME.
WOULD YOU GET ME
ROOM 516, PLEASE?
YOU BETTER BE READY
TO APOLOGIZE, WEEZY.
YEAH, I'M HERE.
WHAT? WHEN?
[Sighs] THANK YOU.
EDDIE CHECKED OUT
FIVE MINUTES AGO.
OH, THAT'S OKAY, GEORGE. I STOPPED
BELIEVING YOU TEN MINUTES AGO.
WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO
NOW, ANOTHER REUNION?
HIS PLANE DON'T LEAVE FOR ANOTHER
THREE HOURS. I'M GOING OVER TO THE HOTEL.
MAYBE HE'S IN THE RESTAURANT OR
THE BAR OR SOMEPLACE. I'LL FIND HIM.
- IF YOU DON'T, SEE IF HER ROOM
IS STILL AVAILABLE.
- FOR WHAT?
BECAUSE IF YOU COME BACK ALONE, YOU
ARE NOT SLEEPING IN THIS HOUSE TONIGHT.
YOU JUST WAIT RIGHT HERE, AND I'LL
BE BACK, AND I'LL BE BACK WITH HIM.
- WITH HER.
- HIM, HER, IT, WHATEVER.
IT'S OKAY. COME ON.
MR. JEFFERSON, WAIT, WAIT.
I DON'T THINK THIS
IS GONNA WORK.
LOOK.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, LEROY.
MY WIFE AIN'T NEVER
SEEN YOU BEFORE.
JUST DO LIKE I SAID, AND
EVERYTHING'LL BE FINE.
I STILL WISH YOU'D
GOT SOMEBODY ELSE.
[Sighs] LOOK, I COULDN'T
FIND ANYBODY ELSE.
ALL THE GIRLS AT THE
STORE HAD GONE HOME,
AND YOU WERE THE ONLY GUY
LEFT WHO DIDN'T HAVE A MUSTACHE.
- YEAH, BUT, MAN...
- LOOK. I TOLD MY WIFE
I'D BE HOME WITH EDDIE.
I COULDN'T FIND
EDDIE, SO YOU'RE IT.
AND BESIDES, YOU SAID
YOU WANTED TO BE AN ACTOR.
YEAH, AN ACTOR.
NOT AN ACTRESS.
HOW DO YOU THINK FLIP
WILSON GOT STARTED?
AND DON'T FORGET, I'M PAYING
YOU 50 BUCKS TO DO THIS.
WHICH I AIN'T SEEN YET.
HERE.
OKAY, LOOK.
NOW LET'S GO OVER THIS ONE
MORE TIME. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
LEROY. NO!
YOUR NAME IS EDDIE STOKES.
WE WERE IN THE NAVY TOGETHER
DURING THE KOREAN WAR.
YOU'RE CATCHING A PLANE
HOME TONIGHT TO OHIO,
SO YOU CAN ONLY STAY A
FEW MINUTES, YOU GET IT?
YEAH. OKAY. NOW, LET'S GO.
WEEZY! WEEZY. I GOT
A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
I FOUND EDDIE.
LOOK.
OH, SO, UH, THIS IS EDDIE?
THAT'S RIGHT, MY OLD
BOSOM BUDDY. [Laughs]
EDDIE, THIS IS MY WIFE, LOUISE.
HOW DO YOU DO?
EVER SINCE THE OPERATION,
HIS VOICE CAN'T MAKE UP ITS MIND.
- WELL, LET'S GO.
- OH, BUT GEORGE,
YOU JUST GOT HERE.
UH, EDDIE HATES LONG GOOD-BYES.
OH, EDDIE, I... I JUST
LOVE YOUR OUTFIT.
[In Falsetto] WHY, THANK
YOU, MRS. JEFFERSON.
UH, YOU KNOW, EDDIE,
GEORGE HAS TOLD ME
SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
OH, DID HE TELL YOU WE
WERE IN THE NAVY TOGETHER?
THAT'S RIGHT, ME AND OLD EDDIE FOUGHT
SIDE-BY-SIDE ALL THROUGH THE KOREAN WAR.
[Giggling] HOW INTERESTING.
TELL ME MORE, EDDIE.
THAT'S ALL I KNOW.
UH, THAT OPERATION
AFFECTED HIS MEMORY TOO.
- HELLO.
- [Regular Voice] HELLO!
[In Falsetto] I MEAN, HELLO.
WHAT'S THAT?
THAT'S EDDIE.
LORD.
WELL, COME ON, EDDIE.
YOU'RE GONNA MISS YOUR PLANE.
OH, YES.
I'M RUSHING TO CATCH A
PLANE HOME TO OHIO TONIGHT.
OH? WHERE IN OHIO DO YOU LIVE?
CLEVELAND. CINCINNATI.
HE'S MOVING.
- YOU'D BETTER START
MOVING TOO, GEORGE.
- SAY WHAT?
DID YOU REALLY THINK THIS
CHEAP TRICK WAS GONNA FOOL ME?
[Deep Voice] NOPE.
I TOLD YOU IT WOULDN'T WORK.
OH, LEROY, YOU'RE THE
ONE THAT BLEW IT. COME ON.
HEY, HOLD IT, HOLD IT.
GIVE ME BACK MY 50 BUCKS.
[No Audible Dialogue]
THANK YOU, MR. JEFFERSON.
THIS IS THE $50 YOU
OWE ME. NOW WE'RE EVEN.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, FLORENCE.
COME BACK HERE WITH MY MONEY.
GEORGE, THIS TIME YOU HAVE GONE
TOO FAR. I'VE HAD IT WITH YOUR LIES.
WEEZY, I'M TELLING
YOU THE TRUTH.
THERE REALLY IS AN EDDIE STOKES.
I JUST COULDN'T FIND THE REAL ONE,
THAT'S ALL. YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME.
WHY SHOULD I?
FIRST YOU TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO MEET
A MAN... WHO TURNS OUT TO BE A WOMAN.
- THAT'S RIGHT!
- THEN YOU BRING SOME FOOL UP
HERE WEARING WOMEN'S CLOTHES,
YEAH, BUT... AND TELL ME IT'S
YOUR FRIEND, AND NOW YOU SAY...
THERE REALLY IS AN EDDIE STOKES,
AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU?
- YEAH!
- WELL, FORGET IT.
AND PACK UP YOUR BAGS, 'CAUSE
YOU ARE NOT STAYING HERE TONIGHT.
NOW HOLD IT. THIS IS
MY HOUSE. [Doorbell Rings]
I PAY THE RENT. I
AIN'T GOING NOWHERE.
OKAY, IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU
WANT IT, I'LL LEAVE. [Doorbell Rings]
WEEZY... OH, SH...
GO AWAY.
EDDIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I FORGOT ONE OF MY BAGS AT
THE HOTEL, WENT BACK FOR IT,
GOT YOUR MESSAGE,
AND RUSHED RIGHT OVER.
EDDIE, OLD BUDDY, OLD
PAL. OH, WEEZY! WEEZY.
WELL, WHAT'S WRONG, GEORGE? YOUR MESSAGE
SAID IT WAS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.
IT IS. YOU ARE
GONNA SAVE MY LIFE.
WEEZY. GEORGE, MY MIND
IS MADE UP. I'M PACKING.
YOU CAN JUST START UNPACKING,
'CAUSE THIS IS EDDIE, THE REAL EDDIE.
EDIE. WHATEVER.
WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW, WEEZ?
WELL, GEORGE, AT
LEAST THIS TIME...
YOU WERE SMART ENOUGH TO
HIRE A WOMAN TO PLAY THE PART.
THIS AIN'T NO WOMAN.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
WEEZY, REMEMBER I TOLD YOU ABOUT
THE TIME WE GOT EDDIE STONE DRUNK...
AND TOOK HIM TO THIS TATTOO
PARLOR AND GOT HIM TATTOOED?
WELL, HERE IT IS.
WHERE'S MYRTLE? WHERE IS IT?
IT'S GOTTA BE HERE
SOMEWHERE. WHERE'D IT GO?
- I HAD THE TATTOO
REMOVED, GEORGE.
- YOU WHAT?
IT JUST DIDN'T GO WITH HIGH
HEELS AND A BEADED PURSE.
THAT'S IT. GOOD-BYE, GEORGE.
WEEZY, WAIT. LISTEN. I
SWEAR THIS IS REALLY EDDIE.
WELL, I HOPE YOU AND EDDIE
WILL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.
I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU,
MY FUZZY WUZZY TEDDY BEAR.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I SAID, "I LOVE YOU AND I MISS
YOU, MY FUZZY WUZZY TEDDY BEAR."
ISN'T THAT THE WAY YOU ENDED ALL YOUR
LETTERS TO GEORGE WHEN HE WAS IN THE NAVY?
NO, IT AIN'T. WEEZY USED TO CALL
ME HER "BIG, STRONG GRIZZLY BEAR."
NO, I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER.
"FUZZY WUZZY TEDDY BEAR."
IT WAS GRIZZLY BEAR. TEDDY BEAR.
LOOK, SHE'S MY WIFE. I OUGHT TO
KNOW WHAT SHE USED TO CALL ME.
IT WAS GRIZZLY BEAR.
NO, GEORGE, SHE'S RIGHT.
YOU WERE MY FUZZY
WUZZY TEDDY BEAR.
I WAS?
AND IF YOU KNOW THAT,
YOU MUST BE THE REAL EDDIE.
- EDIE.
- OH, I MEAN EDIE.
THANK GOD WE GOT
ALL THAT CLEARED UP.
WELL, I'VE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH.
OH, LOOK, EDDIE, UH, I JUST
WANTED TO APOLOGIZE...
FOR THE WAY I ACTED
BACK AT THE HOTEL TONIGHT.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I UNDERSTAND.
[Sighs] YOU SAVED MY
MARRIAGE. I'LL NEVER FORGET IT.
- WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?
- HEY, THAT'S RIGHT. WE ARE STILL FRIENDS, EDDIE.
GEORGE, AS A FRIEND, I
WISH YOU'D CALL ME EDIE.
OKAY, SURE, UH,
EDIE.
THANKS, GEORGE.
I APPRECIATE THAT.
HEY, WHY DON'T YOU LET US
TAKE YOU TO THE AIRPORT?
THANK YOU. I'D LIKE THAT. WOULD
YOU MIND IF I USE YOUR BATHROOM?
I'D LIKE TO FRESHEN
UP BEFORE WE LEAVE.
- SURE. IT'S RIGHT IN THERE.
- OH. OKAY.
[Chuckling] WELL, WHAT
DO YOU SAY NOW, WEEZ?
- GEORGE, HOW COULD YOU?
- WHAT DID I DO?
YOU READ MY LOVE LETTERS TO
THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES NAVY.
NO, I DIDN'T, WEEZY. JUST
TO EDDIE. HE WAS MY BUDDY.
WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, THEN.
I SHOULD HAVE BELIEVED
YOU. I'M SORRY. FORGIVE ME?
I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
OKAY, I THOUGHT
ABOUT IT. I FORGIVE YOU.
GEORGE, YOU KNOW, YOU ARE
STILL MY FUZZY WUZZY TEDDY BEAR.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING, WEEZY?
I'M GONNA MISS THE OLD EDDIE.
WE USED TO HAVE A LOT
OF LAUGHS TOGETHER.
I REMEMBER THIS TIME...
[Edie Screams] GEORGE!
THERE'S A BIG RAT IN THE
BATHROOM! A RAT? HERE?
WHAT'S A RAT DOING...
GOTCHA!
♪♪ [Humming]
[Woman] THE JEFFERSONS WAS
VIDEOTAPED IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
♪♪ [Humming]
♪ MOVIN', MOVIN' ON UP ♪♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ M-MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN'
JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE
IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ M-MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE ♪
♪ OF THE PIE ♪♪
♪♪ [Whistling]
♪♪ [Whistling]
♪♪ [Humming]
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING, FLORENCE?
FLORENCE? [Laughing] I
WAS JUST JOKING, WEEZY.
I KNEW IT WAS YOU.
YOU BETTER HAD.
LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TO SEE
YOUR FACE TO RECOGNIZE YOU.
WHAT YOU GOT BACK
THERE IS ONE OF A KIND.
THANK YOU, GEORGE.
I THINK.
WHAT HAVE WE GOT HERE?
LET'S SEE. BILL.
BILL, BILL. [Groans]
ANY CALLS? WELL, I WAS
OUT MOST OF THE DAY,
BUT IF FLORENCE TOOK ANY
MESSAGES, THEY'RE THERE BY THE PHONE.
OH, YEAH. HERE'S A COUPLE.
"IMPORTANT MESSAGE: DON'T FORGET
TO PAY YOUR HARDWORKING MAID...
"THE $50 BET YOU LOST
TO HER LAST MONTH,
OR YOU DON'T GET
NO MORE MESSAGES."
I GOT A MESSAGE
FOR HER. FLORENCE!
SHE'S NOT HERE. I GAVE HER THE
AFTERNOON OFF TO GO SHOPPING.
- YOU WHAT?
- MACY'S IS HAVING
A MONSTER SALE.
HUH. MAYBE WE'LL GET LUCKY
AND SOMEBODY WILL BUY FLORENCE.
[Laughs]
[Muttering]
I CAN'T READ THIS
ONE. HERE. LET ME TRY.
HOW COME FLORENCE CAN ONLY WRITE
GOOD WHEN SHE'S ASKING FOR MONEY?
IT SAYS, "MR. JEFFERSON,
"EDIE STOKES IN TOWN,
MARQUIS HOTEL, ROOM 516.
PLEASE CALL."
EDIE STOKES? WHO'S EDIE STOKES?
THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW.
- I DON'T KNOW NO EDIE STOKES.
- WELL, SHE KNOWS YOU.
GIMME THAT. WHO IS SHE?
A STRANGER, THAT'S WHO SHE IS.
GEORGE, I WANT AN ANSWER.
- I GOT IT. IT'S FLORENCE.
- FLORENCE?
LOOK, FLORENCE CAN'T WRITE,
AND SHE CAN'T SPELL NEITHER.
SHE LEFT OUT A "D." IT'S AIN'T
"EDIE STOKES," IT'S "EDDIE STOKES."
- WHO'S EDDIE STOKES?
- YOU KNOW, EDDIE STOKES,
MY OLD NAVY BUDDY.
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT HIM?
NEVER. [Chuckling]
THERE'S A LOT ABOUT THE
NAVY I NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT.
I'LL BET. ME AND EDDIE
DID EVERYTHING TOGETHER.
SHOOT, HE SLEPT ON TOP
OF ME FOR TWO YEARS.
THAT MUST HAVE
BEEN UNCOMFORTABLE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
WE WERE BUNKMATES.
OH, EDDIE USED TO LOVE TO
PLAY PRACTICAL JOKES ON PEOPLE.
HE WAS THE MASTER
OF THE "GOTCHA."
[Laughing] WHAT'S A "GOTCHA"?
A GOT... WELL, FOR INSTANCE,
EDDIE USED TO RIG UP...
THIS BUCKET OF WATER, YOU
KNOW, OVER THE BARRACKS DOOR,
AND THE NEXT DUDE THAT
CAME IN GOT A BIG SHOWER.
THAT'S A GOTCHA!
HE EVEN GOT ME ONCE,
BUT I GOT HIM BACK.
[Laughing] OH, EDDIE GOT
SO DRUNK ONE NIGHT,
AND WE TOOK HIM DOWN
TO THIS TATTOO PARLOR...
AND HAD THE NAME "MYRTLE"
TATTOOED ON HIS ARM.
WHO'S MYRTLE?
MYRTLE WAS THE CHIEF'S WIFE.
OH, EDDIE HAD TO WEAR
LONG SLEEVES FOR TWO YEARS.
- THAT'S A PANIC, GEORGE.
- NO, THAT'S A GOTCHA.
[Laughing] OH, WEEZY,
YOU'D LOVE HIM. WHAT A GUY.
- UH, WHERE YOU GOING?
- I'M GOING OUT TO THE HOTEL. I'M GONNA SURPRISE EDDIE.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT OLD
EDDIE IS IN TOWN AFTER 25 YEARS.
IT'S JEFFERSON AND
STOKES, TOGETHER AGAIN.
AND JUST WHEN NEW YORK WAS
GETTING BACK ON ITS FEET. [Laughing]
♪ ANCHORS AWEIGH, MY BOY ♪
WHO YOU CALLIN' BOY?
HA, HA! SEE YOU, WEEZY.
GOTCHA! [Screams]
[Laughing]
EXCUSE ME. I THOUGHT THIS
WAS EDDIE STOKES'S ROOM.
- IT IS.
- IT IS? OH, ARE YOU HIS WIFE?
- NO.
- AH, HA, HA. SAME OLD EDDIE, HUH?
WHERE IS HE?
WELL, YOU SEE, I'M...
OH, I GOT IT... HE DON'T
WANT ME TO KNOW HE'S HERE,
SO YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO SAY HE AIN'T HERE,
BUT HE IS HERE...
IN THERE. [Laughs]
GOTCHA!
GOT...
OKAY, EDDIE. I KNOW
YOU'RE IN THERE.
COME ON OUT OF THE CLOSET.
I'M ALREADY OUT OF
THE CLOSET, GEORGE.
IT'S ME... EDDIE.
ONLY I'M EDIE NOW.
SAY WHAT?
TAKE A GOOD LOOK.
[Laughing]
OH, YOU'RE STILL THE SAME OLD
EDDIE. YOU AIN'T CHANGED A BIT.
WELL, STILL ACE
NUMBER-ONE JOKER, HUH?
WHAT A COSTUME! YOU REALLY
HAD ME FOOLED THIS TIME.
GEORGE, I THINK I
SHOULD EXPLAIN.
COME ON, MAN, GET OUT OF THAT
CRAZY OUTFIT. LET'S GO HAVE A DRINK.
YOU CAN START BY TAKING
OFF THIS DUMB-LOOKING WIG. OW!
- IT'S REAL.
- YOU'RE JIVING.
I'M NOT. GEORGE, WHAT
I'M TRYING TO SAY IS...
WELL, I'VE CHANGED.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING
TO TELL ME, EDDIE?
THAT YOU'RE A FAIRY?
- COME ON, SAY IT. I CAN HANDLE IT.
- NO, GEORGE, I'M NOT GAY.
THANK GOD! I DON'T THINK
I COULD HAVE HANDLED IT.
COME ON. I COULD
REALLY USE THAT DRINK.
LOOK, I DON'T MIND THAT HAIR,
BUT THE DRESS HAS GOT TO GO.
YOU GET OUT OF THAT RENTED
COSTUME, AND I'LL PICK YOU OUT A PAIR...
DAMN, EDDIE. YOU WENT ALL THE
WAY WITH THIS JOKE, DIDN'T YOU?
YOU RENTED ALL THIS
STUFF JUST TO FOOL ME?
NOW, WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?
THOSE ARE MY CLOTHES.
[Laughing] OKAY, EDDIE,
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
WHAT DO YOU KEEP IN
HERE, YOUR BRASSIERE?
LOOK, EDDIE, ME AND YOU
USED TO BE BEST FRIENDS, RIGHT?
WE NEVER HAD NO
SECRETS FROM EACH OTHER.
YOU COULD TELL ME ANYTHING, NO
MATTER HOW BAD IT IS. SO TELL ME.
ARE YOU ONE OF THOSE GUYS THAT
LIKES TO DRESS UP IN WOMEN'S CLOTHES?
ARE YOU ONE OF THEM, UH...
- TRANSVESTITES?
- YEAH, ONE OF THEM.
- NO.
- GOOD, 'CAUSE I CAN'T STAND
THEM WEIRDOS.
WELL, LOOK, IF YOU AIN'T GAY AND
YOU AIN'T A WEIRDO, WHAT ARE YOU?
I HAD THE OPERATION.
I HAD A SEX CHANGE.
GEORGE, I'M A WOMAN NOW.
[Groans]
OH, EDDIE.
I'M NOT EDDIE ANYMORE. I'M EDIE.
- THIS AIN'T A GOTCHA?
- THIS AIN'T A GOTCHA.
- WHY, EDDIE? WHY'D YOU DO IT?
- I WISH YOU'D CALL ME EDIE.
I CAN'T!
LOOK, UNDERNEATH ALL THAT MAKEUP
AND THAT DRESS, YOU'RE STILL EDDIE.
I KNOW HE'S IN THERE SOMEWHERE.
LOOK, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND,
GEORGE. I'M A WOMAN.
DEEP DOWN INSIDE, I'VE ALWAYS
BEEN A WOMAN. EVEN IN THE NAVY?
- EVEN IN THE NAVY.
- OH, NOW YOU TELL ME.
AFTER YOU LET ME UNDRESS IN
FRONT OF YOU FOR TWO YEARS.
NOW, GEORGE, THIS ISN'T SOMETHING
THAT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT.
I WENT THROUGH YEARS OF
ANALYSIS, BUT THAT DIDN'T HELP.
AS A MAN, I WAS MISERABLE.
EVERYTHING ABOUT ME WAS A
WOMAN EXCEPT THE WAY I LOOKED,
SO I HAD THE OPERATION.
OH, EDDIE, MAN, LOOK WHAT
YOU'VE DONE TO YOURSELF.
NOW, GEORGE, NOW, I UNDERSTAND
WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM.
IT'S HARD FOR PEOPLE
TO ACCEPT WHAT I'VE DONE.
MOST OF MY OLD FRIENDS COULDN'T.
SO NOW I HAVE NEW FRIENDS.
I HAVE A JOB I ENJOY,
A PLACE OF MY OWN.
I FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
GEORGE, FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN MY LIFE, I'M REALLY HAPPY.
YEAH, I'M THRILLED TOO.
GEORGE, I HAVE A
CONFESSION TO MAKE.
WHAT WAS THAT YOU JUST MADE?
LOOK, GEORGE, I WASN'T
EVEN GONNA CALL YOU.
I'VE BEEN IN NEW YORK SIX DAYS.
I'M FLYING HOME TO OHIO TONIGHT.
TOOK ME ALL THIS TIME TO GET
UP THE COURAGE TO CALL YOU.
MY OLD BUDDY.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO ME THAT
YOU, AT LEAST, UNDERSTAND.
I UNDERSTAND.
OH, GOOD! NOW LET'S GO HAVE
THAT DRINK YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.
[Screams]
LOOK AT THE TIME.
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS SO LATE.
I GOT AN IMPORTANT MEETING.
WHAT KIND OF MEETING CAN'T WAIT
FOR ONE DRINK BETWEEN OLD FRIENDS?
UH... ALCOHOLICS
ANONYMOUS. [Laughs]
GOOD SEEING YOU AGAIN. HEY!
HOLD THAT ELEVATOR!
YEAH, GEORGE.
YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
[Sighs]
HI, MRS. JEFFERSON. HELLO,
FLORENCE. HOW WAS THE SALE?
CHILD, IT WAS A MADHOUSE.
FOLKS SCREAMIN' AND
PUSHIN' AND KICKIN'.
- KICKING? THAT'S TERRIBLE.
- YEAH. I ALMOST BROKE MY TOE.
WHERE'S MR. JEFFERSON? I'M REALLY
GONNA NEED THAT $50 HE OWES ME NOW.
HE'S OUT WITH AN OLD FRIEND. YOU
KNOW, THE ONE WHO CALLED BEFORE?
YEAH. WHO IS SHE, ANYWAY?
IT'S NOT A SHE, FLORENCE.
IT'S EDDIE STOKES, A FRIEND
OF GEORGE'S FROM THE NAVY.
NAVY?
IF MR. JEFFERSON'S
FRIEND WAS IN THE NAVY,
SHE WAS A WAVE.
FLORENCE, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
WHY WOULD GEORGE TELL ME HE'S
GOING TO A HOTEL TO MEET A MAN,
WHEN HE'S REALLY
GOING TO MEET A WOMAN?
- I'D BETTER GET TO WORK.
- WAIT A MINUTE.
I'LL SHOW YOU THAT
YOU ARE WRONG.
WHY CAN'T YOU ADMIT THAT
YOU JUST MADE A MISTAKE?
I MEAN, A VOICE ON THE
TELEPHONE CAN FOOL YOU.
LOTS OF MEN HAVE HIGH VOICES.
HELLO. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW...
IF YOU HAVE A MR. EDDIE
STOKES REGISTERED IN ROOM 516.
I'M NOT A SIR, I'M A MADAM.
OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN?
YES? YOU DON'T?
ARE YOU SURE? BECAUSE...
OH. I SEE.
MISS EDITH STOKES.
HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID?
WHY, THAT NO-GOOD,
MISERABLE LITTLE... LITTLE...
- RUNT?
- RUNT.
OH, FLORENCE, MY LITTLE RUNT
IS OUT WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.
I'LL KILL HIM!
NOW WAIT A MINUTE,
MRS. JEFFERSON.
I'M SURE MR. JEFFERSON'S
GOT A GOOD EXPLANATION.
ARE YOU SURE? YEAH.
EVEN WHEN HE DOES SOMETHING
WRONG, HE'S GOT A GOOD EXPLANATION.
HI, WEEZY.
GEORGE, I DIDN'T EXPECT
YOU HOME SO SOON.
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?
HUH? OH, UH, YEAH. SURE.
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
NOTHING MUCH.
FLORENCE, I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D
PUT SOMETHING IN THE KITCHEN FOR ME.
- WHAT?
- YOUR MOUTH.
WHERE'S EDDIE? WHY
DIDN'T YOU BRING HIM HOME?
WHAT? OH, UH, HE HAD TO
CATCH A PLANE TONIGHT.
OH, THAT'S A PITY.
I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO
MEETING YOUR OLD BUNKMATE.
WELL, YOU CAN'T,
'CAUSE HE'S GONE.
HOW IS HE? WHO?
EDDIE. UH...
HE'S, UH, CHANGED.
HE'S... OLDER?
YEAH, THAT TOO.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS,
FOLLOW THE LEADER?
I'D JUST LIKE TO HEAR
MORE ABOUT EDDIE.
LOOK, I WENT TO THE HOTEL
TO SEE MY FRIEND. I SAW HIM.
I SAID HELLO, THEN I SAID
GOOD-BYE, THEN I LEFT, OKAY?
GEORGE, I CALLED THE HOTEL,
AND THE DESK CLERK TOLD ME...
THERE WAS AN EDITH
STOKES IN ROOM 516.
SO STOP LYING TO ME, GEORGE.
WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT,
AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?
OKAY, WEEZY, IF YOU REALLY WANT
TO KNOW THE TRUTH, I'LL TELL YOU.
MY OLD BUDDY EDDIE HAD
A SEX-CHANGE OPERATION.
OOH-WHEE!
NOW, THAT'S A GOOD
ONE, MR. JEFFERSON.
THAT'S THE BEST
ONE YOU EVER TOLD.
WEEZY... DON'T TOUCH ME,
YOU NO-GOOD TWO-TIMER.
OKAY, I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU.
- WHO ARE YOU CALLING?
- THE HOTEL. I'M GONNA
HAVE EDDIE COME OVER HERE,
AND YOU CAN SEE WITH
YOUR OWN EYES THAT I...
HELLO? UH, YEAH,
YOU CAN HELP ME.
WOULD YOU GET ME
ROOM 516, PLEASE?
YOU BETTER BE READY
TO APOLOGIZE, WEEZY.
YEAH, I'M HERE.
WHAT? WHEN?
[Sighs] THANK YOU.
EDDIE CHECKED OUT
FIVE MINUTES AGO.
OH, THAT'S OKAY, GEORGE. I STOPPED
BELIEVING YOU TEN MINUTES AGO.
WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO
NOW, ANOTHER REUNION?
HIS PLANE DON'T LEAVE FOR ANOTHER
THREE HOURS. I'M GOING OVER TO THE HOTEL.
MAYBE HE'S IN THE RESTAURANT OR
THE BAR OR SOMEPLACE. I'LL FIND HIM.
- IF YOU DON'T, SEE IF HER ROOM
IS STILL AVAILABLE.
- FOR WHAT?
BECAUSE IF YOU COME BACK ALONE, YOU
ARE NOT SLEEPING IN THIS HOUSE TONIGHT.
YOU JUST WAIT RIGHT HERE, AND I'LL
BE BACK, AND I'LL BE BACK WITH HIM.
- WITH HER.
- HIM, HER, IT, WHATEVER.
IT'S OKAY. COME ON.
MR. JEFFERSON, WAIT, WAIT.
I DON'T THINK THIS
IS GONNA WORK.
LOOK.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, LEROY.
MY WIFE AIN'T NEVER
SEEN YOU BEFORE.
JUST DO LIKE I SAID, AND
EVERYTHING'LL BE FINE.
I STILL WISH YOU'D
GOT SOMEBODY ELSE.
[Sighs] LOOK, I COULDN'T
FIND ANYBODY ELSE.
ALL THE GIRLS AT THE
STORE HAD GONE HOME,
AND YOU WERE THE ONLY GUY
LEFT WHO DIDN'T HAVE A MUSTACHE.
- YEAH, BUT, MAN...
- LOOK. I TOLD MY WIFE
I'D BE HOME WITH EDDIE.
I COULDN'T FIND
EDDIE, SO YOU'RE IT.
AND BESIDES, YOU SAID
YOU WANTED TO BE AN ACTOR.
YEAH, AN ACTOR.
NOT AN ACTRESS.
HOW DO YOU THINK FLIP
WILSON GOT STARTED?
AND DON'T FORGET, I'M PAYING
YOU 50 BUCKS TO DO THIS.
WHICH I AIN'T SEEN YET.
HERE.
OKAY, LOOK.
NOW LET'S GO OVER THIS ONE
MORE TIME. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
LEROY. NO!
YOUR NAME IS EDDIE STOKES.
WE WERE IN THE NAVY TOGETHER
DURING THE KOREAN WAR.
YOU'RE CATCHING A PLANE
HOME TONIGHT TO OHIO,
SO YOU CAN ONLY STAY A
FEW MINUTES, YOU GET IT?
YEAH. OKAY. NOW, LET'S GO.
WEEZY! WEEZY. I GOT
A SURPRISE FOR YOU.
I FOUND EDDIE.
LOOK.
OH, SO, UH, THIS IS EDDIE?
THAT'S RIGHT, MY OLD
BOSOM BUDDY. [Laughs]
EDDIE, THIS IS MY WIFE, LOUISE.
HOW DO YOU DO?
EVER SINCE THE OPERATION,
HIS VOICE CAN'T MAKE UP ITS MIND.
- WELL, LET'S GO.
- OH, BUT GEORGE,
YOU JUST GOT HERE.
UH, EDDIE HATES LONG GOOD-BYES.
OH, EDDIE, I... I JUST
LOVE YOUR OUTFIT.
[In Falsetto] WHY, THANK
YOU, MRS. JEFFERSON.
UH, YOU KNOW, EDDIE,
GEORGE HAS TOLD ME
SO MUCH ABOUT YOU.
OH, DID HE TELL YOU WE
WERE IN THE NAVY TOGETHER?
THAT'S RIGHT, ME AND OLD EDDIE FOUGHT
SIDE-BY-SIDE ALL THROUGH THE KOREAN WAR.
[Giggling] HOW INTERESTING.
TELL ME MORE, EDDIE.
THAT'S ALL I KNOW.
UH, THAT OPERATION
AFFECTED HIS MEMORY TOO.
- HELLO.
- [Regular Voice] HELLO!
[In Falsetto] I MEAN, HELLO.
WHAT'S THAT?
THAT'S EDDIE.
LORD.
WELL, COME ON, EDDIE.
YOU'RE GONNA MISS YOUR PLANE.
OH, YES.
I'M RUSHING TO CATCH A
PLANE HOME TO OHIO TONIGHT.
OH? WHERE IN OHIO DO YOU LIVE?
CLEVELAND. CINCINNATI.
HE'S MOVING.
- YOU'D BETTER START
MOVING TOO, GEORGE.
- SAY WHAT?
DID YOU REALLY THINK THIS
CHEAP TRICK WAS GONNA FOOL ME?
[Deep Voice] NOPE.
I TOLD YOU IT WOULDN'T WORK.
OH, LEROY, YOU'RE THE
ONE THAT BLEW IT. COME ON.
HEY, HOLD IT, HOLD IT.
GIVE ME BACK MY 50 BUCKS.
[No Audible Dialogue]
THANK YOU, MR. JEFFERSON.
THIS IS THE $50 YOU
OWE ME. NOW WE'RE EVEN.
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE, FLORENCE.
COME BACK HERE WITH MY MONEY.
GEORGE, THIS TIME YOU HAVE GONE
TOO FAR. I'VE HAD IT WITH YOUR LIES.
WEEZY, I'M TELLING
YOU THE TRUTH.
THERE REALLY IS AN EDDIE STOKES.
I JUST COULDN'T FIND THE REAL ONE,
THAT'S ALL. YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME.
WHY SHOULD I?
FIRST YOU TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO MEET
A MAN... WHO TURNS OUT TO BE A WOMAN.
- THAT'S RIGHT!
- THEN YOU BRING SOME FOOL UP
HERE WEARING WOMEN'S CLOTHES,
YEAH, BUT... AND TELL ME IT'S
YOUR FRIEND, AND NOW YOU SAY...
THERE REALLY IS AN EDDIE STOKES,
AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU?
- YEAH!
- WELL, FORGET IT.
AND PACK UP YOUR BAGS, 'CAUSE
YOU ARE NOT STAYING HERE TONIGHT.
NOW HOLD IT. THIS IS
MY HOUSE. [Doorbell Rings]
I PAY THE RENT. I
AIN'T GOING NOWHERE.
OKAY, IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU
WANT IT, I'LL LEAVE. [Doorbell Rings]
WEEZY... OH, SH...
GO AWAY.
EDDIE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I FORGOT ONE OF MY BAGS AT
THE HOTEL, WENT BACK FOR IT,
GOT YOUR MESSAGE,
AND RUSHED RIGHT OVER.
EDDIE, OLD BUDDY, OLD
PAL. OH, WEEZY! WEEZY.
WELL, WHAT'S WRONG, GEORGE? YOUR MESSAGE
SAID IT WAS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH.
IT IS. YOU ARE
GONNA SAVE MY LIFE.
WEEZY. GEORGE, MY MIND
IS MADE UP. I'M PACKING.
YOU CAN JUST START UNPACKING,
'CAUSE THIS IS EDDIE, THE REAL EDDIE.
EDIE. WHATEVER.
WHAT DO YOU SAY NOW, WEEZ?
WELL, GEORGE, AT
LEAST THIS TIME...
YOU WERE SMART ENOUGH TO
HIRE A WOMAN TO PLAY THE PART.
THIS AIN'T NO WOMAN.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
WEEZY, REMEMBER I TOLD YOU ABOUT
THE TIME WE GOT EDDIE STONE DRUNK...
AND TOOK HIM TO THIS TATTOO
PARLOR AND GOT HIM TATTOOED?
WELL, HERE IT IS.
WHERE'S MYRTLE? WHERE IS IT?
IT'S GOTTA BE HERE
SOMEWHERE. WHERE'D IT GO?
- I HAD THE TATTOO
REMOVED, GEORGE.
- YOU WHAT?
IT JUST DIDN'T GO WITH HIGH
HEELS AND A BEADED PURSE.
THAT'S IT. GOOD-BYE, GEORGE.
WEEZY, WAIT. LISTEN. I
SWEAR THIS IS REALLY EDDIE.
WELL, I HOPE YOU AND EDDIE
WILL BE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.
I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU,
MY FUZZY WUZZY TEDDY BEAR.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I SAID, "I LOVE YOU AND I MISS
YOU, MY FUZZY WUZZY TEDDY BEAR."
ISN'T THAT THE WAY YOU ENDED ALL YOUR
LETTERS TO GEORGE WHEN HE WAS IN THE NAVY?
NO, IT AIN'T. WEEZY USED TO CALL
ME HER "BIG, STRONG GRIZZLY BEAR."
NO, I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER.
"FUZZY WUZZY TEDDY BEAR."
IT WAS GRIZZLY BEAR. TEDDY BEAR.
LOOK, SHE'S MY WIFE. I OUGHT TO
KNOW WHAT SHE USED TO CALL ME.
IT WAS GRIZZLY BEAR.
NO, GEORGE, SHE'S RIGHT.
YOU WERE MY FUZZY
WUZZY TEDDY BEAR.
I WAS?
AND IF YOU KNOW THAT,
YOU MUST BE THE REAL EDDIE.
- EDIE.
- OH, I MEAN EDIE.
THANK GOD WE GOT
ALL THAT CLEARED UP.
WELL, I'VE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH.
OH, LOOK, EDDIE, UH, I JUST
WANTED TO APOLOGIZE...
FOR THE WAY I ACTED
BACK AT THE HOTEL TONIGHT.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I UNDERSTAND.
[Sighs] YOU SAVED MY
MARRIAGE. I'LL NEVER FORGET IT.
- WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?
- HEY, THAT'S RIGHT. WE ARE STILL FRIENDS, EDDIE.
GEORGE, AS A FRIEND, I
WISH YOU'D CALL ME EDIE.
OKAY, SURE, UH,
EDIE.
THANKS, GEORGE.
I APPRECIATE THAT.
HEY, WHY DON'T YOU LET US
TAKE YOU TO THE AIRPORT?
THANK YOU. I'D LIKE THAT. WOULD
YOU MIND IF I USE YOUR BATHROOM?
I'D LIKE TO FRESHEN
UP BEFORE WE LEAVE.
- SURE. IT'S RIGHT IN THERE.
- OH. OKAY.
[Chuckling] WELL, WHAT
DO YOU SAY NOW, WEEZ?
- GEORGE, HOW COULD YOU?
- WHAT DID I DO?
YOU READ MY LOVE LETTERS TO
THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES NAVY.
NO, I DIDN'T, WEEZY. JUST
TO EDDIE. HE WAS MY BUDDY.
WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, THEN.
I SHOULD HAVE BELIEVED
YOU. I'M SORRY. FORGIVE ME?
I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.
OKAY, I THOUGHT
ABOUT IT. I FORGIVE YOU.
GEORGE, YOU KNOW, YOU ARE
STILL MY FUZZY WUZZY TEDDY BEAR.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING, WEEZY?
I'M GONNA MISS THE OLD EDDIE.
WE USED TO HAVE A LOT
OF LAUGHS TOGETHER.
I REMEMBER THIS TIME...
[Edie Screams] GEORGE!
THERE'S A BIG RAT IN THE
BATHROOM! A RAT? HERE?
WHAT'S A RAT DOING...
GOTCHA!
♪♪ [Humming]
[Woman] THE JEFFERSONS WAS
VIDEOTAPED IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
♪♪ [Humming]
♪ MOVIN', MOVIN' ON UP ♪♪