The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 4, Episode 23 - George and Louise in a Bind: Part 1 - full transcript
A burglar breaks into the Jeffersons' apartment and ties up George and Louise. As the burglar goes about his work, the couple are left to reminisce about their past. This episode includes clips from both "The Jeffersons" and "All ...
COME BACK HERE.
KEEP QUIET, OR I'M
CALLIN' THE COPS.
HEAR THAT? NOTHIN'.
COLORED PEOPLE ARE
ALL SCARED OF THE COPS.
I'M GLAD THEY STOPPED.
I WONDER WHAT THEY
WAS ARGUIN' ABOUT.
MAYBE HE WAS IN THE MOOD
AND SHE WASN'T.
IN THE MOOD FOR WHAT?
THAT ARCHIE WAS SOMETHING.
REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE NEIGHBORS?
DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT.
THINKIN' ABOUT HIM HELPED US
THAT NIGHT WE
WERE IN BIG TROUBLE.
THAT WAS A NIGHT TO REMEMBER.
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
♪ JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE
IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A
PIECE OF THE PIE ♪♪
TRY THESE.
THAT'S PERFECT!
JUST WHAT IT NEEDED.
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. YOU
SURE I CAN WEAR THEM?
OF COURSE.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME.
LOOK, YOU. THEM EARRINGS COST
MORE THAN YOUR WHOLE OUTFIT.
DON'T LOSE THEM.
I AIN'T LOSING NOTHIN' TONIGHT,
INCLUDIN' THE EARRINGS.
I FELT SO GOOD WHEN
I GOT THOSE EARRINGS.
YOU REALLY LIKED
THAT ANNIVERSARY GIFT.
BIRTHDAY GIFT.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
THE DIFFERENCE IS YOU
FORGOT OUR ANNIVERSARY.
I AIN'T GOTTA WAIT FOR NO
ANNIVERSARY TO BUY YOU THINGS.
IF YOU LIKE THEM
EARRINGS SO MUCH,
HOW COME YOU LET
THE MAID WEAR THEM?
SHE CAN'T HURT THEM.
SHE WENT OUT TO HAVE FUN,
LIKE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO.
I'M BEAT TONIGHT.
YOU DIDN'T WANT
TO SEE THE BALLET.
ADMIT IT. OKAY. I ADMIT IT.
IT'S A BUNCH OF DUDES RUNNIN'
AROUND IN THEIR DRAWERS
ON THEIR TIPPY TOES.
IT'S THE SAME OLD STORY.
WHEN I WANT TO DO SOMETHING,
YOU GET TIRED AWFUL FAST.
WHY PICK THE BALLET?
WE'VE NEVER SEEN ONE.
WE AIN'T SEEN A LEPER COLONY.
THAT DON'T MEAN WE GOT TO.
JUST ONCE, I'D LIKE TO
DO SOMETHING I ENJOY
AND HAVE YOU GO
ALONG WITHOUT A FIGHT.
WHO'S FIGHTIN'?
DO YOU CALL THIS
DANCIN' CHEEK TO CHEEK?
YOU STARTED IT.
SO JUST GET OFF MY BACK.
GET OFF YOUR BACK!
I WILL, GEORGE.
I'LL GET OFF YOUR
BACK RIGHT NOW.
I SLAMMED THE DOOR HARD!
I PROBABLY CRACKED THE PLASTER.
SO YOU QUARRELED.
SLAMMING THE DOOR
SOLVES NOTHING.
NO, BUT IT FELT GOOD.
YOU SHOULD DISCUSS
IT LIKE MATURE ADULTS.
I KNOW THAT'S DIFFICULT
FOR GEORGE, BUT...
I DON'T THINK THAT'S FUNNY.
I'M SO SORRY, LOUISE.
TOM! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.
YOUR STORY REMINDED ME
OF A POCKETBOOK I GAVE
HELEN ONE CHRISTMAS.
IT STARTED A FIGHT.
THAT CAN'T HAPPEN ANYMORE.
NOT SINCE WE'VE JOINED OUR
MARRIAGE FULFILLMENT GROUP.
THAT'S RIGHT, MY DARLING.
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH IT?
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
THE POCKETBOOK WAS FINE,
BUT TOM'S ADVERTISING
SLOGAN WAS ON IT.
"PELLUM PUBLISHERS PACK
PASSION INTO PAPERBACKS."
THE OTHER WIVES LOVED THEIRS.
I'M NOT THE OTHER WIVES.
DON'T GET HUFFY.
IT'S NOT THE GIFT, IT'S THE
THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.
YOU'RE SO RIGHT, DEAR.
AND THAT CHRISTMAS,
YOUR THOUGHT STUNK.
IF YOU THINK FOR ONE MOMENT...
HELEN, TOM, PLEASE!
SHE'S RIGHT.
WE MIGHT FIGHT.
QUICK!
CAN I DO ANYTHING?
PLAY THE BONGOS?
OUR ENCOUNTER GROUP
TAUGHT US HOW TO
END AN ARGUMENT.
CONTACT.
AND COMMUNICATION.
DO YOU WANT TO MAKE UP?
YES.
THEN CALL GEORGE.
WHY DOESN'T HE CALL ME?
SOMEBODY HAS TO CALL FIRST.
SHOW HIM YOU'RE BIGGER.
I CAN DO THAT BY
STANDING NEXT TO HIM.
WELL, MAYBE IT'S WORTH A TRY.
BUT YOU KNOW GEORGE.
I BET HE'S THROWIN' SPITBALLS
AT OUR WEDDING PICTURE.
EVERYBODY KNOWS I'M HOME.
THEY'LL GET SUSPICIOUS
IF I DON'T ANSWER.
ANSWER IT.
I'D BETTER NOT HEAR
ONE WRONG WORD.
THAT LEAVES OUT "HELP."
HELLO.
HI, LOUISE.
I'M NOT MAD.
ALL RIGHT, WEEZY.
YOU'D BETTER STAY UP THERE.
I'LL BE TIED UP A LITTLE WHILE.
WE'LL WORK IT OUT LATER, OK?
I'M NOT MAD.
OKAY. THEN I AM MAD.
I'M UNREASONABLE!
DON'T COME HOME! BYE.
DON'T COME HOME!
WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?
I'M GOING.
DON'T DO ANYTHING DRASTIC.
WHAT IF TOM TOLD YOU THAT?
I'D KILL HIM.
RIGHT. IF THAT SHRIMP
IS DEAD TOMORROW,
YOU'LL KNOW WHY.
YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS.
ARE YOU STOPPIN' ME?
TAKE THAT AND GET OUT, CREEP.
YOU GOT A BIG MOUTH.
GEORGE? WHERE ARE YOU?
GET OUT, WEEZY.
DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
WE'LL HAVE THIS OUT RIGHT NOW.
YOU WANT TO FIGHT, LITTLE MAN?
I'VE NEVER...
I TOLD YOU.
YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN
YOUR HUSBAND'S ADVICE.
I'LL TAKE THIS
AND THIS LOVELY RING,
IF YOU DON'T MIND.
YOU BE GOOD LITTLE PEOPLE.
YOU'RE GIVIN' ME A BIG PROBLEM.
WE ARE?
YOU GOT SO MUCH GOOD
STUFF, I CAN'T CHOOSE.
DAMN IT!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M BOOGYING.
I'M TRYIN' TO GET THE PHONE.
YOU CAN'T EVEN
DIAL-A-PRAYER LIKE THAT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'LL SHOW HIM.
HE LOOKS PRETTY ROUGH.
I'D TAKE CARE OF HIM.
REMEMBER WHEN MONK
DAVIS TRIED TO BLACKMAIL ME?
YEAH.
TV/STEREO COMBINATION? NO.
DINING ROOM SET? MORE
PERSONAL THAN THAT.
NOTHING HERE
LOOKS THAT VALUABLE.
YOU'RE SITTIN' ON IT.
WHERE?
THERE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU, NIGGA?
I AIN'T LEAVIN' EMPTY-HANDED.
THAT'S RIGHT.
FIRST I'LL GIVE YOU A
KNUCKLE SANDWICH.
IF THAT DON'T WORK...
YOU CRAZY, NIGGA!
YOU'VE FORCED ME
TO TELL YOUR FAMILY.
TOO LATE, SUCKER. I ALREADY DID.
WHY DID YOU DO A
DUMB THING LIKE THAT?
GET OUT, CHUMP.
IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU,
BLABBERMOUTHS,
THAT RUIN THE
BLACKMAIL BUSINESS.
REMEMBER THAT
CHUMP SELLING VANS?
YOU TRYIN' TO RIP
ME OFF? GET OUT.
JUST A MINUTE, BUSTER.
YOU'RE STICKING TO OUR DEAL.
WHAT? OK, BUSTER.
AND JO JO AND WHITTENDALE.
YOU GOT RID OF THEM.
YOU CALLIN' LOUISE DUMB?
YEAH. SHE'S ALL WET.
ARE YOU FINISHED?
NO. GET OUT.
WHAT? YOU HEARD ME.
LET THE DOORKNOB HIT YOU
WHERE THE GOOD LORD SPLIT YOU.
THEY WERE SOME TOUGH COOKIES.
NONE OF THEM HAD A GUN.
YEAH.
ISN'T THIS A SECURITY BUILDING?
IT IS.
ONCE A CROOK
GETS IN, HE'S SECURE.
WHAT WILL WE DO?
AT LEAST WE CAN
REPLACE WHAT HE STEALS.
GOOD THING WE'RE RICH.
RICH. RICH!
I WISH YOU'D FORGET ABOUT MONEY.
YOU GOT SO USED TO BEING POOR,
YOU DON'T LIKE HAVING MONEY.
I DON'T MIND THE MONEY.
IT'S THE DUMB WAYS YOU SPEND IT.
LIKE WHAT?
YOU ALWAYS NEED THE
BIGGEST OF EVERYTHING.
LIKE THAT DUMB GRAND PIANO.
SWITCH PLACES WITH ME. YES, SIR.
READY? READY, SIR.
WHEN I SAY "NOW," SHOVE IT.
SIR?
PUSH!
NOW.
IT'S MOVING.
BE CAREFUL!
THIS COST ME $1,100.
IF IT BREAKS, NO TIP.
I'LL THROW MY BODY
BETWEEN IT AND THE FLOOR.
YOU OVERDO THINGS.
I HOPE THAT BURGLAR
AIN'T OVERDOIN' THINGS.
I HOPE HE LEAVES
UNCLE WARD'S GIFT.
AIN'T NO PLACE TO FENCE
A PLASTIC CANDY DISH.
THERE YOU GO. PUTTING
DOWN MY UNCLE WARD.
I LIKE YOUR UNCLE.
YOU DIDN'T AT FIRST.
YOU KEPT CALLING HIM UNCLE TOM.
SAY, GEORGE,
YOU USE THE WORDS
"UNCLE TOM" A LOT.
WHEN IT FITS.
WHO WAS HE?
HE WAS THAT DUMB NIGGA
WHO THANKED SIMON
LEGREE FOR WHIPPIN' HIM.
WRONG.
THAT'S ANOTHER LIE
ABOUT OUR PEOPLE.
THEN WHO WAS HE,
SUPERFLY IN THE SKY?
NO, GEORGE. IN REAL LIFE,
UNCLE TOM WAS A SLAVE
NAMED JOSIAH HENSON.
HE ESCAPED AND WALKED
FROM KENTUCKY TO CANADA
WITH HIS FAMILY.
HE STARTED A
MANUAL-TRAINING SCHOOL
FOR OUR PEOPLE.
HOW YOU KNOW?
I READ AND LISTEN.
YOU COULD DO THE SAME.
YOU HEARD OF THE
UNDERGROUND RAILROAD?
SURE.
JOSIAH HENSON
HELPED SLAVES ESCAPE
BEFORE THERE WAS AN
UNDERGROUND RAILROAD.
HE WAS A BRAVE MAN,
A GREAT LEADER.
GEORGE, I'D NEVER
CALL YOU AN UNCLE TOM.
I WAS NICE.
THAT'S FAIR.
I PUT MYSELF OUT
FOR YOUR RELATIVES.
WHAT RELATIVE?
YOUR MOTHER.
MAMA AIN'T NO TROUBLE AT ALL.
MOTHER JEFFERSON,
WHAT A NICE SURPRISE!
I WAS PASSING BY AND
THOUGHT I'D DROP IN.
I'M SO GLAD.
THIS IS QUICKER THAN
WAITING FOR AN INVITATION.
HOW DO YOU LIKE
OUR NEW APARTMENT?
IT'S LOVELY.
JUST BEAUTIFUL.
GEORGE HAS SUCH GOOD TASTE
IN MOST THINGS.
YOU'RE GETTING A MAID
TO LOOK AFTER THIS
ITTY-BITTY APARTMENT?
YES.
WELL, WELL.
I BROUGHT UP A FAMILY
IN THAT HUGE HOUSE
WITHOUT A MAID.
WE HAD A THREE-ROOM WALK-UP.
HE DOESN'T REMEMBER.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER.
DON'T TALK TO YOUR
MOTHER LIKE THAT!
DON'T PICK ON GEORGE!
HE HAS ENOUGH ON HIS MIND,
TRYING TO PAY FOR THAT MAID
WHICH YOU DON'T NEED.
YOU SEE, GEORGE?
EVEN YOUR MOTHER AGREES WITH ME.
WELL, ON THE OTHER HAND...
I CAN UNDERSTAND
YOU WANTING SOMEBODY
TO KEEP THE PLACE
NEAT AND CLEAN...
FOR A CHANGE.
A FOUR-LETTER WORD
FOR A HEAVENLY BODY.
SUN!
S-U-N-N.
HERE'S YOUR BLOODY MARY.
THANK YOU, LOUISE.
IT HELPS ME THINK.
ARE YOU HAVIN' TROUBLE
WITH THE PUZZLE?
NO, I ALWAYS FINISH THEM.
THEY'RE TOUGH. YOU
MUST KNOW A LOT.
I DO. I HAVE A BRAIN
LIKE A SPONGE.
YOU MUST HAVE A
LIVER LIKE ONE, TOO.
HAVE A NICE RIDE.
BUT I THINK LOUISE
NEEDS A SMALLER SEAT.
THIS IS REGULATION SIZE.
I'M NOT TALKIN' ABOUT
THE ONE ON THE BICYCLE.
MAMA'S FUNNY, AIN'T SHE?
SHE SURE IS,
ESPECIALLY ABOUT WEDDINGS
AND ENGAGEMENT PARTIES.
YOU CAN'T MARRY HIM.
I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU.
YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME
ABOUT MARRYING LOUISE.
I'M ON YOUR SIDE.
I'M SORRY, DEAR.
YOU MADE ME SAY SOMETHING
MEAN ABOUT LOUISE.
BUT...
TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME!
GEORGE DIDN'T MEAN WHAT HE SAID.
I'M GOING.
I DIAPERED YOU WHEN
YOU WERE A BABY.
YOU WERE A MESS
THEN, AND YOU STILL ARE.
THAT'S YOUR THIRD DRINK.
I KNOW THAT. PUT IT DOWN.
NO. PUT IT DOWN!
I'M A BIG BOY.
WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?
SURE.
DON'T TALK THAT WAY TO
YOUR LITTLE MAMMY HERE.
WHO YOU CALLIN' MAMMY?
YOU.
DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME MAMMY.
I'M NOBODY'S MAMMY.
I'M HIS MOTHER.
YOU CALL ME MRS. JEFFERSON.
GEEZ, MRS. JEFFERSON...
DON'T TALK TO ME.
THAT'S TELLIN' HIM.
DON'T YOU, EITHER.
WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT'S GOING ON? HE
CALLED MAMA MAMMY.
UH-OH.
I THOUGHT ALL COLORED PEOPLE
CALLED THEIR MOTHERS MAMMY.
WELL, I DID!
AL JOLSON CALLED
HIS MOTHER MAMMY.
THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES!
SHE REALLY TOLD OLD BUNKER.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
♪♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪♪
KEEP QUIET, OR I'M
CALLIN' THE COPS.
HEAR THAT? NOTHIN'.
COLORED PEOPLE ARE
ALL SCARED OF THE COPS.
I'M GLAD THEY STOPPED.
I WONDER WHAT THEY
WAS ARGUIN' ABOUT.
MAYBE HE WAS IN THE MOOD
AND SHE WASN'T.
IN THE MOOD FOR WHAT?
THAT ARCHIE WAS SOMETHING.
REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE NEIGHBORS?
DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT.
THINKIN' ABOUT HIM HELPED US
THAT NIGHT WE
WERE IN BIG TROUBLE.
THAT WAS A NIGHT TO REMEMBER.
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
♪ JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE
IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE APARTMENT ♪
♪ IN THE SKY ♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A
PIECE OF THE PIE ♪♪
TRY THESE.
THAT'S PERFECT!
JUST WHAT IT NEEDED.
THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. YOU
SURE I CAN WEAR THEM?
OF COURSE.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME.
LOOK, YOU. THEM EARRINGS COST
MORE THAN YOUR WHOLE OUTFIT.
DON'T LOSE THEM.
I AIN'T LOSING NOTHIN' TONIGHT,
INCLUDIN' THE EARRINGS.
I FELT SO GOOD WHEN
I GOT THOSE EARRINGS.
YOU REALLY LIKED
THAT ANNIVERSARY GIFT.
BIRTHDAY GIFT.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
THE DIFFERENCE IS YOU
FORGOT OUR ANNIVERSARY.
I AIN'T GOTTA WAIT FOR NO
ANNIVERSARY TO BUY YOU THINGS.
IF YOU LIKE THEM
EARRINGS SO MUCH,
HOW COME YOU LET
THE MAID WEAR THEM?
SHE CAN'T HURT THEM.
SHE WENT OUT TO HAVE FUN,
LIKE WE WERE SUPPOSED TO.
I'M BEAT TONIGHT.
YOU DIDN'T WANT
TO SEE THE BALLET.
ADMIT IT. OKAY. I ADMIT IT.
IT'S A BUNCH OF DUDES RUNNIN'
AROUND IN THEIR DRAWERS
ON THEIR TIPPY TOES.
IT'S THE SAME OLD STORY.
WHEN I WANT TO DO SOMETHING,
YOU GET TIRED AWFUL FAST.
WHY PICK THE BALLET?
WE'VE NEVER SEEN ONE.
WE AIN'T SEEN A LEPER COLONY.
THAT DON'T MEAN WE GOT TO.
JUST ONCE, I'D LIKE TO
DO SOMETHING I ENJOY
AND HAVE YOU GO
ALONG WITHOUT A FIGHT.
WHO'S FIGHTIN'?
DO YOU CALL THIS
DANCIN' CHEEK TO CHEEK?
YOU STARTED IT.
SO JUST GET OFF MY BACK.
GET OFF YOUR BACK!
I WILL, GEORGE.
I'LL GET OFF YOUR
BACK RIGHT NOW.
I SLAMMED THE DOOR HARD!
I PROBABLY CRACKED THE PLASTER.
SO YOU QUARRELED.
SLAMMING THE DOOR
SOLVES NOTHING.
NO, BUT IT FELT GOOD.
YOU SHOULD DISCUSS
IT LIKE MATURE ADULTS.
I KNOW THAT'S DIFFICULT
FOR GEORGE, BUT...
I DON'T THINK THAT'S FUNNY.
I'M SO SORRY, LOUISE.
TOM! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.
YOUR STORY REMINDED ME
OF A POCKETBOOK I GAVE
HELEN ONE CHRISTMAS.
IT STARTED A FIGHT.
THAT CAN'T HAPPEN ANYMORE.
NOT SINCE WE'VE JOINED OUR
MARRIAGE FULFILLMENT GROUP.
THAT'S RIGHT, MY DARLING.
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH IT?
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
THE POCKETBOOK WAS FINE,
BUT TOM'S ADVERTISING
SLOGAN WAS ON IT.
"PELLUM PUBLISHERS PACK
PASSION INTO PAPERBACKS."
THE OTHER WIVES LOVED THEIRS.
I'M NOT THE OTHER WIVES.
DON'T GET HUFFY.
IT'S NOT THE GIFT, IT'S THE
THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.
YOU'RE SO RIGHT, DEAR.
AND THAT CHRISTMAS,
YOUR THOUGHT STUNK.
IF YOU THINK FOR ONE MOMENT...
HELEN, TOM, PLEASE!
SHE'S RIGHT.
WE MIGHT FIGHT.
QUICK!
CAN I DO ANYTHING?
PLAY THE BONGOS?
OUR ENCOUNTER GROUP
TAUGHT US HOW TO
END AN ARGUMENT.
CONTACT.
AND COMMUNICATION.
DO YOU WANT TO MAKE UP?
YES.
THEN CALL GEORGE.
WHY DOESN'T HE CALL ME?
SOMEBODY HAS TO CALL FIRST.
SHOW HIM YOU'RE BIGGER.
I CAN DO THAT BY
STANDING NEXT TO HIM.
WELL, MAYBE IT'S WORTH A TRY.
BUT YOU KNOW GEORGE.
I BET HE'S THROWIN' SPITBALLS
AT OUR WEDDING PICTURE.
EVERYBODY KNOWS I'M HOME.
THEY'LL GET SUSPICIOUS
IF I DON'T ANSWER.
ANSWER IT.
I'D BETTER NOT HEAR
ONE WRONG WORD.
THAT LEAVES OUT "HELP."
HELLO.
HI, LOUISE.
I'M NOT MAD.
ALL RIGHT, WEEZY.
YOU'D BETTER STAY UP THERE.
I'LL BE TIED UP A LITTLE WHILE.
WE'LL WORK IT OUT LATER, OK?
I'M NOT MAD.
OKAY. THEN I AM MAD.
I'M UNREASONABLE!
DON'T COME HOME! BYE.
DON'T COME HOME!
WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?
I'M GOING.
DON'T DO ANYTHING DRASTIC.
WHAT IF TOM TOLD YOU THAT?
I'D KILL HIM.
RIGHT. IF THAT SHRIMP
IS DEAD TOMORROW,
YOU'LL KNOW WHY.
YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS.
ARE YOU STOPPIN' ME?
TAKE THAT AND GET OUT, CREEP.
YOU GOT A BIG MOUTH.
GEORGE? WHERE ARE YOU?
GET OUT, WEEZY.
DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO!
WE'LL HAVE THIS OUT RIGHT NOW.
YOU WANT TO FIGHT, LITTLE MAN?
I'VE NEVER...
I TOLD YOU.
YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN
YOUR HUSBAND'S ADVICE.
I'LL TAKE THIS
AND THIS LOVELY RING,
IF YOU DON'T MIND.
YOU BE GOOD LITTLE PEOPLE.
YOU'RE GIVIN' ME A BIG PROBLEM.
WE ARE?
YOU GOT SO MUCH GOOD
STUFF, I CAN'T CHOOSE.
DAMN IT!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'M BOOGYING.
I'M TRYIN' TO GET THE PHONE.
YOU CAN'T EVEN
DIAL-A-PRAYER LIKE THAT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'LL SHOW HIM.
HE LOOKS PRETTY ROUGH.
I'D TAKE CARE OF HIM.
REMEMBER WHEN MONK
DAVIS TRIED TO BLACKMAIL ME?
YEAH.
TV/STEREO COMBINATION? NO.
DINING ROOM SET? MORE
PERSONAL THAN THAT.
NOTHING HERE
LOOKS THAT VALUABLE.
YOU'RE SITTIN' ON IT.
WHERE?
THERE.
WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU, NIGGA?
I AIN'T LEAVIN' EMPTY-HANDED.
THAT'S RIGHT.
FIRST I'LL GIVE YOU A
KNUCKLE SANDWICH.
IF THAT DON'T WORK...
YOU CRAZY, NIGGA!
YOU'VE FORCED ME
TO TELL YOUR FAMILY.
TOO LATE, SUCKER. I ALREADY DID.
WHY DID YOU DO A
DUMB THING LIKE THAT?
GET OUT, CHUMP.
IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU,
BLABBERMOUTHS,
THAT RUIN THE
BLACKMAIL BUSINESS.
REMEMBER THAT
CHUMP SELLING VANS?
YOU TRYIN' TO RIP
ME OFF? GET OUT.
JUST A MINUTE, BUSTER.
YOU'RE STICKING TO OUR DEAL.
WHAT? OK, BUSTER.
AND JO JO AND WHITTENDALE.
YOU GOT RID OF THEM.
YOU CALLIN' LOUISE DUMB?
YEAH. SHE'S ALL WET.
ARE YOU FINISHED?
NO. GET OUT.
WHAT? YOU HEARD ME.
LET THE DOORKNOB HIT YOU
WHERE THE GOOD LORD SPLIT YOU.
THEY WERE SOME TOUGH COOKIES.
NONE OF THEM HAD A GUN.
YEAH.
ISN'T THIS A SECURITY BUILDING?
IT IS.
ONCE A CROOK
GETS IN, HE'S SECURE.
WHAT WILL WE DO?
AT LEAST WE CAN
REPLACE WHAT HE STEALS.
GOOD THING WE'RE RICH.
RICH. RICH!
I WISH YOU'D FORGET ABOUT MONEY.
YOU GOT SO USED TO BEING POOR,
YOU DON'T LIKE HAVING MONEY.
I DON'T MIND THE MONEY.
IT'S THE DUMB WAYS YOU SPEND IT.
LIKE WHAT?
YOU ALWAYS NEED THE
BIGGEST OF EVERYTHING.
LIKE THAT DUMB GRAND PIANO.
SWITCH PLACES WITH ME. YES, SIR.
READY? READY, SIR.
WHEN I SAY "NOW," SHOVE IT.
SIR?
PUSH!
NOW.
IT'S MOVING.
BE CAREFUL!
THIS COST ME $1,100.
IF IT BREAKS, NO TIP.
I'LL THROW MY BODY
BETWEEN IT AND THE FLOOR.
YOU OVERDO THINGS.
I HOPE THAT BURGLAR
AIN'T OVERDOIN' THINGS.
I HOPE HE LEAVES
UNCLE WARD'S GIFT.
AIN'T NO PLACE TO FENCE
A PLASTIC CANDY DISH.
THERE YOU GO. PUTTING
DOWN MY UNCLE WARD.
I LIKE YOUR UNCLE.
YOU DIDN'T AT FIRST.
YOU KEPT CALLING HIM UNCLE TOM.
SAY, GEORGE,
YOU USE THE WORDS
"UNCLE TOM" A LOT.
WHEN IT FITS.
WHO WAS HE?
HE WAS THAT DUMB NIGGA
WHO THANKED SIMON
LEGREE FOR WHIPPIN' HIM.
WRONG.
THAT'S ANOTHER LIE
ABOUT OUR PEOPLE.
THEN WHO WAS HE,
SUPERFLY IN THE SKY?
NO, GEORGE. IN REAL LIFE,
UNCLE TOM WAS A SLAVE
NAMED JOSIAH HENSON.
HE ESCAPED AND WALKED
FROM KENTUCKY TO CANADA
WITH HIS FAMILY.
HE STARTED A
MANUAL-TRAINING SCHOOL
FOR OUR PEOPLE.
HOW YOU KNOW?
I READ AND LISTEN.
YOU COULD DO THE SAME.
YOU HEARD OF THE
UNDERGROUND RAILROAD?
SURE.
JOSIAH HENSON
HELPED SLAVES ESCAPE
BEFORE THERE WAS AN
UNDERGROUND RAILROAD.
HE WAS A BRAVE MAN,
A GREAT LEADER.
GEORGE, I'D NEVER
CALL YOU AN UNCLE TOM.
I WAS NICE.
THAT'S FAIR.
I PUT MYSELF OUT
FOR YOUR RELATIVES.
WHAT RELATIVE?
YOUR MOTHER.
MAMA AIN'T NO TROUBLE AT ALL.
MOTHER JEFFERSON,
WHAT A NICE SURPRISE!
I WAS PASSING BY AND
THOUGHT I'D DROP IN.
I'M SO GLAD.
THIS IS QUICKER THAN
WAITING FOR AN INVITATION.
HOW DO YOU LIKE
OUR NEW APARTMENT?
IT'S LOVELY.
JUST BEAUTIFUL.
GEORGE HAS SUCH GOOD TASTE
IN MOST THINGS.
YOU'RE GETTING A MAID
TO LOOK AFTER THIS
ITTY-BITTY APARTMENT?
YES.
WELL, WELL.
I BROUGHT UP A FAMILY
IN THAT HUGE HOUSE
WITHOUT A MAID.
WE HAD A THREE-ROOM WALK-UP.
HE DOESN'T REMEMBER.
YOU DON'T REMEMBER.
DON'T TALK TO YOUR
MOTHER LIKE THAT!
DON'T PICK ON GEORGE!
HE HAS ENOUGH ON HIS MIND,
TRYING TO PAY FOR THAT MAID
WHICH YOU DON'T NEED.
YOU SEE, GEORGE?
EVEN YOUR MOTHER AGREES WITH ME.
WELL, ON THE OTHER HAND...
I CAN UNDERSTAND
YOU WANTING SOMEBODY
TO KEEP THE PLACE
NEAT AND CLEAN...
FOR A CHANGE.
A FOUR-LETTER WORD
FOR A HEAVENLY BODY.
SUN!
S-U-N-N.
HERE'S YOUR BLOODY MARY.
THANK YOU, LOUISE.
IT HELPS ME THINK.
ARE YOU HAVIN' TROUBLE
WITH THE PUZZLE?
NO, I ALWAYS FINISH THEM.
THEY'RE TOUGH. YOU
MUST KNOW A LOT.
I DO. I HAVE A BRAIN
LIKE A SPONGE.
YOU MUST HAVE A
LIVER LIKE ONE, TOO.
HAVE A NICE RIDE.
BUT I THINK LOUISE
NEEDS A SMALLER SEAT.
THIS IS REGULATION SIZE.
I'M NOT TALKIN' ABOUT
THE ONE ON THE BICYCLE.
MAMA'S FUNNY, AIN'T SHE?
SHE SURE IS,
ESPECIALLY ABOUT WEDDINGS
AND ENGAGEMENT PARTIES.
YOU CAN'T MARRY HIM.
I'M NOT LISTENING TO YOU.
YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME
ABOUT MARRYING LOUISE.
I'M ON YOUR SIDE.
I'M SORRY, DEAR.
YOU MADE ME SAY SOMETHING
MEAN ABOUT LOUISE.
BUT...
TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME!
GEORGE DIDN'T MEAN WHAT HE SAID.
I'M GOING.
I DIAPERED YOU WHEN
YOU WERE A BABY.
YOU WERE A MESS
THEN, AND YOU STILL ARE.
THAT'S YOUR THIRD DRINK.
I KNOW THAT. PUT IT DOWN.
NO. PUT IT DOWN!
I'M A BIG BOY.
WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?
SURE.
DON'T TALK THAT WAY TO
YOUR LITTLE MAMMY HERE.
WHO YOU CALLIN' MAMMY?
YOU.
DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME MAMMY.
I'M NOBODY'S MAMMY.
I'M HIS MOTHER.
YOU CALL ME MRS. JEFFERSON.
GEEZ, MRS. JEFFERSON...
DON'T TALK TO ME.
THAT'S TELLIN' HIM.
DON'T YOU, EITHER.
WHAT'S WRONG?
WHAT'S GOING ON? HE
CALLED MAMA MAMMY.
UH-OH.
I THOUGHT ALL COLORED PEOPLE
CALLED THEIR MOTHERS MAMMY.
WELL, I DID!
AL JOLSON CALLED
HIS MOTHER MAMMY.
THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES!
SHE REALLY TOLD OLD BUNKER.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
♪♪
♪ WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪♪