The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 4, Episode 20 - George and Jimmy - full transcript

♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪

♪ M-MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪

♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪

♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪

♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN'
JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪

♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪

♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪



♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE
IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪

♪ THERE AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪

♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪

♪ M-MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪

♪ WE FINALLY GOT A PIECE ♪

♪ OF THE PIE ♪♪

GOOD MORNING, FLORENCE.
HOW ARE YOU THIS MORNING?

[Yawns] GOOD MORNING,
MRS. JEFFERSON.

I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME IN LAST
NIGHT. IT MUST HAVE BEEN LATE.

YEAH. ABOUT 3:00.
CLARENCE TOOK ME OUT.

AGAIN? LOOKS LIKE
IT'S GETTING SERIOUS.



- I'LL BET HE'S READY
TO POP THE QUESTION.
- HE ALREADY DID.

HE DID? OH, FLORENCE,
WHAT DID YOU SAY?

"NO, AND GET YOUR HAND
OFF MY KNEE." [Louise Chuckles]

YOU KNOW, I WENT OUT
WITH A GUY LIKE THAT ONCE...

ALWAYS GRABBING AT
ME AND PAWING AT ME.

- HOW'D YOU STOP HIM?
- I MARRIED HIM.

FLORENCE, WHAT THE DEVIL IS THE MATTER WITH
YOU? HOW COME YOU DIDN'T WAKE ME UP ON TIME?

'CAUSE I OVERSLEPT MYSELF.
I HAD A DATE LAST NIGHT.

WITH WHO? THE MOON
WASN'T EVEN FULL.

WHERE'S MY BREAKFAST?
YOU'RE DRINKIN' IT.

LOOK, YOU DON'T WAKE ME UP ON
TIME. YOU DON'T GET MY BREAKFAST.

- WHAT KIND OF MAID ARE YOU?
- UNDERPAID.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU COULD THINK ABOUT
BREAKFAST AFTER ALL WE ATE LAST NIGHT.

- WHERE'D YOU GO?
- A FUND-RAISING DINNER FOR THE
NEW WING ON MERCY HOSPITAL.

- ALL THE BEST PEOPLE
IN TOWN WERE THERE.
- HOW COME THEY LET YOU IN?

'CAUSE WE DIDN'T
BRING YOU. [Mocking Laugh]

IT WAS REAL FANCY, FLORENCE...
A HUNDRED DOLLARS A PLATE.

FOR A HUNDRED
BUCKS, I'D STILL BE EATIN'.

- WELL, THE MONEY DID GO
TO A GOOD CAUSE.
- IT WENT TO A GREAT CAUSE...

GETTIN' MY NAME IN THE SOCIETY
COLUMN OF THE EAST SIDE CHRONICLE.

HA! HEY, I WONDER
IF IT CAME YET.

I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S SO IMPORTANT
ABOUT SEEING YOUR NAME IN THE SOCIETY COLUMN.

PUBLICITY, WEEZY. IF MY NAME'S IN HERE,
THAT MEANS EVERYBODY KNOWS GEORGE JEFFERSON.

I SHOULD THINK YOU'D WANT
TO KEEP THAT A SECRET.

HEY. HERE'S THE STORY. "NEW WING,
MERCY HOSPITAL. MR. AND MRS. FORBES,

DR. SCOTT "GOLAYMEGOWN,"
MRS. PEMBROOKE, SENATOR COX"...

HEY, LOOK AT THAT!
YOU FOUND MY NAME?

NO. THE SUPERMARKET'S HAVING
A HALF-PRICE SALE ON NUTS.

THIS OL' LOUSY PAPER. NOW,
WEEZY, YOU KNOW WE'VE BEEN GOIN'...

TO THOSE FUND-RAISIN' DINNERS FOR WEEKS,
AND THEY AIN'T MENTIONED MY NAME ONCE.

[Doorbell Rings] THEY
DIDN'T MENTION ME EITHER.

THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU BLACK.

- AND WHAT ARE YOU?
- I'M OUT 200 BUCKS...

'CAUSE THEY BLEEDIN' ME WHITE.

OH, HI, TOM. COME ON IN.
GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE.

HERE'S THE CASSEROLE DISH WE BORROWED.
HELEN THOUGHT YOU MIGHT NEED IT FOR DINNER.

OH, THANK YOU, TOM. TELL HELEN THAT WAS
VERY THOUGHTFUL OF HER. I WILL, AND THANKS.

WHY WASTE TIME?
GO TELL HER NOW. UH...

YOU HAVE TO EXCUSE GEORGE. HE
MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE THIS MORNING.

- OH? WHAT DID HE DO?
- HE GOT UP.

WELL, I HAVE TO BE GOING ANYWAY. I'M
PICKING UP MY SHOTGUN THIS MORNING.

- SHOTGUN?
- AH, SO HELEN'S FINALLY
GONNA GET IT, HUH?

NO, GEORGE. IT'S FOR MY
NEW HOBBY: SKEET SHOOTING.

SKEET SHOOTING? WHAT'S A SKEET?

DON'T YOU KNOW NOTHIN', WEEZY? A
SKEET IS A LITTLE BIRD WITH A LONG TAIL.

NO, IT ISN'T, GEORGE.

IT'S A CLAY DISC YOU USE IN TRAP
SHOOTING. THERE ARE NO BIRDS.

OH, I GET IT! YOU JUST
IMAGINE YOU GOT BIRDS. RIGHT.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU JUST
IMAGINE YOU GOT A GUN?

YOU KNOW... BANG... "I GOT ONE!"

I'LL EXPLAIN THE WHOLE THING
LATER WHEN I GET THE GUN.

SEEMS KIND OF SILLY, GROWN MEN STANDING
AROUND SHOOTING AT PIECES OF CLAY.

I WOULDN'T MIND DOING IT, IF THE SKEET HAD
A PICTURE OF THAT NEWS EDITOR'S FACE ON IT.

OH, FORGET ABOUT THAT. IT'S NOT
IMPORTANT. OH, YES, IT IS IMPORTANT.

IF I AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO BE IN THEIR PAPER,
THEN THEY AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR MY ADVERTISING.

I'M CALLING THE EDITOR. OH,
TRY AND STAY CALM, GEORGE.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME,
WEEZY. I'M ALWAYS CALM.

[Clears Throat]

HELLO. THIS IS GEORGE
JEFFERSON CALLING. WHO'S THIS?

I DON'T WANNA SPEAK TO
YOU. I WANT THE EDITOR.

LOOK, YOU TELL HIM HE'S GOT FIVE
SECONDS TO GET ON THIS PHONE.

WHAT'S HE DOIN'? KEEPIN' CALM.

HELLO. MR. HEARST? YOU DAMN
RIGHT SOMETHING'S WRONG.

HOW COME MY NAME DON'T
EVER APPEAR IN YOUR COLUMN?

THE SOCIETY COLUMN. UH-HUH. OH, YOU
AIN'T GOT ENOUGH ROOM FOR EVERYBODY, HUH?

OKAY. WELL, IN THAT CASE, YOU AIN'T
GOT ENOUGH ROOM FOR MY ADVERTISEMENT.

RIGHT. SAY WHAT?

OH, YEAH? OH, GOOD.
WELL, THANKS. BYE.

- WHAT DID HE SAY?
- THEY'RE GONNA SEND A REPORTER
OVER TO TALK TO ME.

UH, FLORENCE, WILL YOU PUT THIS IN
THE KITCHEN, PLEASE? [Doorbell Rings]

- DID YOU HEAR THE BELL?
- YEAH. DIDN'T YOU?

ANSWER THE DOOR!

GEORGE, DON'T GET SO EXCITED. THE
REPORTER COULDN'T MAKE IT HERE THAT FAST.

UH, HELLO, FLORENCE. [Gasps]

- THAT'S MENTAL TELEPATHY.
- NO. IT'S A CASSEROLE DISH.

BUT HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS COMING
OVER TO BORROW A CASSEROLE DISH?

JUST A WILD GUESS. OH, NO.
IT'S GOT TO BE TELEPATHY.

MY AUNT AGATHA WAS GIFTED LIKE THAT.
SHE WAS CALLED IN ONCE BY SCOTLAND YARD.

OH, THEY WANTED HER
TO HELP SOLVE A CRIME?

UH, NO. THEY WANTED HER FOR WALKING
NUDE THROUGH PICCADILLY CIRCUS.

ALL YOUR FAMILY BELONGS
IN THE CIRCUS. [Laughs]

- THANK YOU.
- WHY DO YOU WANT
THE DISH, MR. BENTLEY?

- I'M FIXING DINNER
FOR VALERY THIS EVENING.
- ANOTHER NEW GIRL?

OH, NO. YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND. [Speaking Russian]

AH. HERE'S VALERY NOW.

AH, DID YOU FIND HER
IN THE CIRCUS TOO? OH!

NO, MR. J. IN RUSSIA,
VALERY IS A MAN'S NAME.

UM, VALERY KAMILKOV, MR. AND
MRS. GEORGE JEFFERSON.

[Both] HI. [Exuberantly]
HOW DO YOU DO?

I AM PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

HEY, YOU SPEAK ENGLISH
REAL GOOD. SO DO YOU.

YOU SEE, WHEN I WAS WORKING
AT THE EMBASSY IN MOSCOW,

VALERY SHOWED ME THE TOWN,
TOOK ME TO ALL THE FUN PLACES...

LENIN'S TOMB, STALIN'S TOMB.

AND NOW HARRY IS
RETURNING THE FAVOR.

OH, YEAH. AND WHERE YOU GONNA
TAKE HIM? WOODLAWN CEMETERY?

NO. VALERY'S HERE WITH A
VISITING TRADE DELEGATION,

AND I'M GETTING HIM INTO THE U.N. TOMORROW
TO HEAR PRESIDENT CARTER'S SPEECH.

OH. PRESIDENT CARTER'S
SPEAKING HERE TOMORROW?

LOOK, WEEZY, HE'S ALWAYS SPEAKIN' SOMEPLACE.
THAT WAY, HE DON'T HAVE TO DO NOTHIN'.

WILL YOU BE TRANSLATING
HIS SPEECH, MR. BENTLEY?

YES, AND THAT CAN BE A
PROBLEM WITH PRESIDENT CARTER.

- WHY?
- I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TRANSLATE
"Y'ALL" INTO RUSSIAN.

YOU LIKE PRESIDENT CARTER?
OH, YES. HE'S JUST LIKE ONE OF US.

OH, WEEZY, HE
AIN'T LIKE ONE OF US.

I MEAN, HE DOESN'T PUT ON AIRS.
HE EVEN CARRIES HIS OWN LUGGAGE.

THAT'S TRUE. HE'S A
MAN OF THE PEOPLE.

WHEN HE VISITED MASSACHUSETTS, HE STAYED
OVERNIGHT AT THE HOME OF A BEER DISTRIBUTOR.

HIS BROTHER BILLY MUST HAVE
MADE THOSE RESERVATIONS.

WELL, WE'VE GOT
TO BE GOING. [Russian]

OH, DO SVIDANIYA,
MR. AND MRS. JEFFERSON.

AND "DO SVIDAN" YOU TOO,
MR. VALERY. [Valery Laughs]

"DO SVIDAN" YOU TOO"!

HEY, BENTLEY! IS THIS FOR REAL ABOUT THE
PRESIDENT STAYING IN ORDINARY PEOPLE'S HOMES?

OH, YES. IT WAS ON TELEVISION
AND IN THE NEWSPAPERS.

HE DOES IT ALL THE TIME. HE
LIKES TO GET TO MEET THE PEOPLE.

YEAH? AND I GUESS ALL THOSE
PEOPLE GET GREAT PUBLICITY, RIGHT?

OH, YES. YOU KNOW, I WAS
IN THE NEWSPAPER ONCE.

WEEZY, I JUST GOT A GREAT IDEA.

LOOK, SINCE CARTER'S GONNA BE IN TOWN
TOMORROW, LET'S ASK HIM TO STAY HERE OVERNIGHT.

WHAT? I'M GONNA CALL THE
PRESIDENT AND ASK HIM TO STAY HERE.

WHAT? LOOK, WEEZY, CAN YOU THINK
OF A BETTER WAY TO GET PUBLICITY?

THAT'S CRAZY!

HELLO, OPERATOR. I'D LIKE TO PLACE A LONG-DISTANCE
PHONE CALL TO THE WHITE HOUSE, PLEASE.

YES. THE ONE IN
WASHINGTON. FLORENCE!

GEORGE, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?
THE PRESIDENT WILL NEVER STAY HERE!

A DRY CLEANER IS JUST AS GOOD
AS A BEER DISTRIBUTOR ANY DAY.

WHAT? OH, YEAH, YEAH. I'LL HOLD. AND LOOK,
WOULD YOU TALK TO MY SECRETARY, PLEASE? HERE.

I AIN'T NO SECRETARY. YOU
AIN'T NO MAID NEITHER. HERE.

WHO AM I CALLING?
THE WHITE HOUSE.

THE WHITE HOUSE? YOU
WASTIN' YOUR TIME, CHILD.

THEY DO THEIR OWN CLEANING.

LOOK, JUST TELL 'EM IT'S
MR. JEFFERSON CALLING.

GEORGE, YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? OF
COURSE I'M SERIOUS. THIS IS A GREAT MOVE.

HELLO? IS THIS THE WHITE HOUSE?

IT IS THE WHITE HOUSE! I'M TALKIN' TO THE
WHITE HOUSE! I'M TALKIN' TO THE WHITE HOUSE!

SEE? LOOK.

WOULD YOU JUST TELL
'EM WHO I AM? [Clears Throat]

[Upper-crust Accent] HELLO?

I ARE CALLING FOR MR. JEFFERSON.

WHAT?

THEY SAID JEFFERSON
AIN'T PRESIDENT NO MORE.

GIMME THAT. MOVE! DAMN.

[Clears Throat] HELLO. HELLO?

UH, THIS IS GEORGE JEFFERSON CALLING.
I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO JIMMY, PLEASE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "JIMMY
WHO"? JIMMY PRESIDENT!

WHAT? NO, I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU.
THIS IS PERSONAL BETWEEN JIMMY AND ME.

SAY WHAT? HE DON'T WANNA TALK?

LOOK HERE. YOU TELL HIM IF HE DON'T
TALK TO ME, I'LL GET HIM WHERE IT HURTS.

I JUST WON'T VOTE
FOR HIM NEXT TIME.

YOU DIDN'T VOTE
FOR HIM LAST TIME.

LOOK. ARE YOU GONNA PUT
ME THROUGH OR NOT? OKAY.

YOU TELL YOUR BOSS IF THAT'S
THE WAY HE FEELS ABOUT PEOPLE,

THAT THIS COUNTRY WOULD
BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM.

GEORGE! LOOK, WEEZ,
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!

THIS IS THE WAY YOU HANDLE THESE PEOPLE.
THAT'S THE ONLY LANGUAGE THEY UNDERSTAND.

WHAT? OH, YEAH. OH, OH. OH,
THAT'S MORE LIKE IT, SISTER.

YEAH. I'LL BE HERE. GEORGE
JEFFERSON, NEW YORK CITY,

555-3197.

THANK YOU.

WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT DID THEY SAY?

AHA! I DID IT, WEEZY! THEY
ASKED ME IF I WAS GONNA BE HERE.

- THAT MEANS HE'S GONNA
BE CALLIN' ME BACK.
- NO JIVIN'?

PRESIDENT CARTER
REALLY MIGHT STAY HERE?

THAT'S RIGHT. OH, I'VE
GOTTA TELL TOM AND HELEN.

HOLD IT. HOLD IT. LOOK, IF THE
PRESIDENT WANTS TO SEE ZEBRAS,

HE CAN GO TO THE ZOO.

- WE'D BETTER GET
THIS PLACE STRAIGHTENED UP.
- YOU'RE RIGHT.

I DON'T WANT HIM TELLING
ROSALYNN I KEEP A MESSY HOUSE.

OH, YEAH. YOU'D BETTER GET A
CLEANING LADY IN HERE, WEEZY.

- I JUST CLEANED YESTERDAY.
- REARRANGING THE DUST
AIN'T CLEANIN'.

- GET A CATERER TOO.
- OH, I DON'T KNOW, GEORGE.

I READ THE PRESIDENT
LIKES PLAIN FOOD.

- I CAN COOK PLAIN FOOD.
- YEAH. PLAIN AWFUL.

WELL, IF I CAN'T CLEAN AND I CAN'T COOK, I
GUESS I'M JUST IN THE WAY AROUND HERE, HUH?

I'VE BEEN TELLIN' YOU
THAT FOR TWO YEARS NOW.

THAT'S ENOUGH, GEORGE!
YOU SAID IT, MRS. JEFFERSON.

FLORENCE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

OUT. I'M TAKIN' THE
REST OF THE DAY OFF.

HOW WILL WE KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?

I SURE WILL BE GLAD WHEN THE
PRESIDENT GETS HERE, MR. JEFFERSON.

- IT'LL MAKE HISTORY.
- YOU DAMN RIGHT IT WILL.

IT'LL BE THE FIRST TIME THE DEMOCRATIC
DONKEY STAYED WITH A REPUBLICAN JACKASS.

GEORGE, YOU SHOULD
BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

YOU INSULTED HER. DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT, WEEZY. SHE'LL GET OVER IT.

WELL, WHEN SHE COMES BACK, YOU'RE
GOING TO APOLOGIZE. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. LOOK.

HEY, I GOT A LOT OF GOOD
IDEAS TO GIVE TO THE PRESIDENT.

OH, REALLY? LIKE WHAT?

WELL, YOU KNOW, THINGS THAT ARE GONNA HELP
THE COUNTRY, LIKE PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST,

A JOB FOR EVERYBODY, TAX CUTS
FOR DRY CLEANERS. [Doorbell Ringing]

GEORGE, YOU'RE A REAL PATRIOT.

I TRY MY BEST.

YEAH? MORNING, SIR. AGENTS
ALLEN AND NEIL, SECRET SERVICE.

- SECRET SERVICE?
- ARE YOU GEORGE JEFFERSON?

- YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.
- THEN YOU'RE THE MAN WE WANT.

ME? FOR WHAT?

FOR THREATENING THE
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

SIT DOWN, MR. JEFFERSON. WE HAVE
SEVERAL QUESTIONS WE WANT TO ASK YOU.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I
THREATENED THE PRESIDENT?

WHAT KIND OF NUT YOU THINK I AM? IF YOU
ANSWER THE QUESTIONS, MAYBE WE'LL FIND OUT.

WHO YOU CALLIN' A NUT? IT'D BE A LOT
EASIER ON YOU IF YOU'D JUST COOPERATE.

IT'D BE A LOT EASIER ON
ME IF YOU'D JUST LEAVE.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. THERE
MUST BE SOME MISTAKE HERE.

AREN'T YOU THE GEORGE JEFFERSON WHO
CALLED THE WHITE HOUSE THIS MORNING?

NO. MY MAID DID. I SEE.

AND WHY DID YOU MAKE THE CALL?

I'M NOT THE MAID; I'M HIS WIFE.

- WHERE'S THE MAID?
- SHE WENT OUT.

WHAT'S HER NAME?
FLORENCE JOHNSTON.

- CAN YOU DESCRIBE HER?
- YEAH. JUST PICTURE DRACULA
WITH EARRINGS.

MR. JEFFERSON, THIS
IS SERIOUS BUSINESS.

THE WHITE HOUSE NOTIFIED OUR FIELD
OFFICE WHILE YOU WERE STILL ON THE PHONE.

DID YOU SAY, REFERRING TO THE
PRESIDENT, "I'LL GET HIM WHERE IT HURTS"?

- OH, YEAH, BUT...
- AND, "THIS COUNTRY WOULD
BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM"?

MY HUSBAND SAID THOSE THINGS,
BUT HE DIDN'T MEAN ANY HARM.

RIGHT.

I WASN'T THREATENING THE PRESIDENT.
I WAS THREATENING THE OPERATOR.

I MEAN, I WASN'T THREATENIN' NOBODY.
LOOK, WOULD YOU GUYS JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?

AS SOON AS WE GET SOME ANSWERS.
OKAY. ASK ME SOME QUESTIONS.

MR. JEFFERSON, DO YOU HAVE THE FEELING THAT
THE GOVERNMENT HAS DONE SOMETHING TO YOU?

OF COURSE NOT. THE GOVERNMENT
DON'T DO NOTHIN' FOR NOBODY.

MR. JEFFERSON, WHAT WE'RE
TRYING TO DETERMINE IS...

DO YOU FEEL YOU'RE GETTING
A RAW DEAL SOMEHOW?

- I MEAN, YOU ARE BLACK.
- MAN, THESE GUYS DON'T
MISS A THING, HUH?

UH, GEORGE, I DON'T THINK YOU
SHOULD BE PLAYING GAMES WITH THEM.

THEN TELL 'EM TO GET OUTTA HERE! I GOT
ENOUGH PROBLEMS WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT THEM.

SHOOT. SAY, MR. JEFFERSON,
DO LITTLE THINGS MAKE YOU MAD?

SURE. YOU KNOW, I LOSE MY TEMPER
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. EVERYBODY DOES.

[Weak Laugh] OF COURSE, SOME
DAYS ARE WORSE THAN OTHERS.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU KNOW, SOME DAYS YOU
HAVE TO TALK TO IDIOTS MORNING, NOON AND NIGHT.

THAT'S THE WORST PART. YEAH,
THEN BY THE END OF THE DAY,

YOU'RE SO MAD YOU
WANNA GET RID OF ALL OF 'EM.

YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT. YOU
GET THAT WAY TOO, HUH?

NO. NEVER. NEITHER DO I.

HEY, DON'T WRITE THAT
DOWN. OH, RELAX, GEORGE.

HOW CAN I RELAX WITH THESE TWO GOONS HANGIN'
AROUND HERE? THEY SHOULDN'T EVEN BE IN HERE.

THIS IS MY HOUSE! LOOK, I'M
A TAXPAYER, AND I'M A CITIZEN!

WAIT A MINUTE. I PAY
YOUR SALARY, RIGHT?

THAT'S RIGHT, SIR.
WELL, YOU'RE FIRED!

I SHOULD'VE KNOWN THAT PHONE
CALL WAS GONNA BE TROUBLE.

MR. JEFFERSON, WE'RE
JUST DOING OUR JOB.

BEFORE THE PRESIDENT GOES
ANYWHERE, THE SERVICE CHECKS ITS LIST...

ON ANYONE IN THE AREA
WHO MIGHT BE A THREAT.

- AND THANKS TO YOUR PHONE CALL,
YOU MADE THE LIST.
- WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, GEORGE.

YOU FINALLY GOT YOUR
NAME MENTIONED SOMEWHERE.

SO I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND.
WE CAN'T TAKE ANY CHANCES.

WE HAVE TO CHECK EVERY NUT
IN THE AREA. HE SAID IT AGAIN!

HE CALLED ME A NUT! LOOK, WHAT DOES
IT TAKE TO MAKE YOU GUYS LISTEN, HUH?

BELIEVE ME, WE'RE LISTENING TO EVERYTHING
YOU SAY. I TELL YOU, I'M NOT A NUT!

I'M NOT A NUT! I'M NOT A NUT!

WEEZY, WILL YOU TELL
THESE GUYS I AIN'T CRAZY!

I'M GONNA HAVE
YOU JAILED FOR THIS.

LOOK, THE ONLY REASON GEORGE MADE THAT
CALL WAS TO GET THE PRESIDENT TO STAY HERE.

IT WAS JUST A PUBLICITY
GIMMICK FOR HIS CLEANERS.

YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST
PRESIDENT CARTER? NO. I LIKE HIM.

BUT WHAT DO I KNOW?
I LIKED NIXON TOO.

WELL, WE'D LIKE TO BELIEVE YOU, BUT IT WOULD
HELP IF THE MAID WAS HERE TO BACK UP YOUR STORY.

IF THERE IS A MAID.

LOOK, I DIDN'T SAY
SHE WAS A GOOD MAID.

NORMALLY, SHE'D BE HERE RIGHT
NOW, WOULDN'T SHE, GEORGE,

IF SHE HADN'T HAD AN
ARGUMENT WITH SOMEONE.

[Doorbell Ringing] OH, SEE, THAT'S
GOT TO BE FLORENCE NOW.

NOW YOU GONNA SEE WHAT A BIG MISTAKE
YOU MADE. I TELL YOU, I'M THE MOST...

RED, WHITE AND BLUE, APPLE PIE AMERICAN
YOU EVER SEEN IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

HA! JEFFERSON! [Russian]

NOT NOW, VALERY. I JUST
CAME FOR MY... OH, EXCUSE ME.

- I DIDN'T KNOW
YOU HAD GUESTS.
- AND WHO ARE YOU?

VALERY KAMILKOV, SOVIET UNION.

- ANDREW NEIL,
SECRET SERVICE.
- GEORGE JEFFERSON, DEAD DUCK.

GUY'S A COMMIE. I THINK WE
REALLY GOT SOMETHING THIS TIME.

WAIT. HOLD IT, JACK. BEFORE YOU
START THINKIN' SOMETHING CRAZY,

I NEVER SAW HIM BEFORE TODAY.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HIM. SURE YOU DO.

DON'T YOU REMEMBER? I WAS HERE
BEFORE. I "HAVE LEAVED" MY GLOVES.

SEE? YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. HE JUST
CAME HERE TO LEAVE HIS GLOVES.

NO, NO, NO, NO. DON'T YOU REMEMBER?
WE TALKED ABOUT PRESIDENT CARTER.

YEAH, AND I SAID I LIKED
PRESIDENT CARTER, RIGHT?

NO, YOU DIDN'T.

HE DIDN'T LIKE PRESIDENT
CARTER? HIS WIFE DID, I THINK.

OH, BELIEVE ME, THIS IS
ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING.

VALERY, WILL YOU PLEASE TELL THEM
WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN NEW YORK?

AND GET TO THE POINT, HUH?
JUST A MINUTE. JUST A MINUTE!

I AM GOOD SOVIET
CITIZEN! I SHOW YOU!

[Neil] HOLD IT! [All Shouting]

- [Allen] FRISK HIM!
- [Shouting,
Indistinct]

OH, EXCUSE ME. HAVE
YOU SEEN MY FRIEND?

OH, VALERY. THERE YOU ARE.
OH, HARRY. THANK GOODNESS.

HARRY... [Russian]

[Russian] [Russian]

WHO ARE YOU? I'M HARRY
BENTLEY. I LIVE NEXT DOOR.

I CAN VOUCH FOR MR. KAMILKOV.
NEVER MIND HIM. VOUCH FOR ME!

THESE GUYS ARE SECRET SERVICE AGENTS.
THEY THINK I THREATENED THE PRESIDENT.

OH, MY GOODNESS. MR. J.,
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

I DIDN'T DO IT, BENTLEY!

- YOU SAY YOU KNOW THIS RUSSIAN?
- VERY WELL. IN FACT, WE WERE
ON OUR WAY TO THE U.N...

TO RESERVE HIM A GOOD SEAT SO HE CAN'T
POSSIBLY MISS THE PRESIDENT TOMORROW.

THAT'S IT. FRISK HIM.
[Valery] OH, PLEASE. [Indistinct]

[Laughing] OH, DON'T
DO THAT! WAIT!

YOU'RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE!
MR. BENTLEY IS A TRANSLATOR AT THE U.N.

YES. HERE'S MY
IDENTIFICATION. [All Yelling]

I HAVE TOP SECURITY
CLEARANCE. SO DOES MR. KAMILKOV.

IS TRUE! IS TRUE! I'M WITH
RUSSIAN TRADE DELEGATION.

LOOK... [All Yelling]

THAT'S EASY ENOUGH TO
CHECK OUT. [George] HEY, LOOK.

I AIN'T TALKIN' NO MORE TILL I TALK
TO MY LAWYER. WHAT IS GOING ON?

- WE'RE ALL BEIN' RAILROADED.
- DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL
GET A FAIR TRIAL.

YEAH. THEN THE FIRING SQUAD.

IS TYPICAL IMPERIALIST
TACTICS. NO. SHH.

OH, WILL YOU PLEASE
STOP TALKING LIKE THAT?

WE'RE ALL INNOCENT. WE
HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

DO WE?

- WE'LL SOON FIND OUT.
- OKAY. THANKS. THAT'S WHAT
I WANTED TO KNOW.

THESE GUYS CHECK OUT. THEY'RE
ALL RIGHT. [George] HEY, GREAT.

NOT YOU. HIM.

YOU CAN LEAVE, GENTLEMEN.
[Valery] DO SVIDANIYA.

HEY, YOU SEE THAT? YOU LET THE
WHITE GUYS GO, EVEN THE RED ONE.

YOU KNOW, I THINK THE
GUY'S PROBABLY OKAY.

- I'D STILL LIKE TO TALK
TO THAT MAID.
- LOOK, HE'S RIGHT.

YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME HERE, MAN. I'M THE
MOST NONVIOLENT PERSON YOU EVER WANNA MEET.

ALL RIGHT, GEORGE.
HERE'S THE GUN. [All Yelling]

OH, OH, DON'T... DON'T HURT ME!
YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT!

TAKE MY WALLET, MY CREDIT
CARDS! I'LL WRITE YOU A CHECK!

- TAKE IT EASY. WE'RE THE SECRET SERVICE.
- SECRET SERVICE?

- WHAT DID YOU DO, GEORGE? THREATEN THE PRESIDENT?
- SHUT UP, FOOL!

OH. UH. WHO ARE YOU?

MY NAME IS THOMAS H. WILLIS. I LIVE
UPSTAIRS. THAT'S ONLY A SKEET GUN.

WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD
TAKE 'EM BOTH DOWNTOWN. OH.

I FORGOT MY POCKETBOOK. I
WON'T BE STARTIN' NO FIGHTIN'.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!
FLORENCE, COME BACK!

COME HERE. I NEED
YOU. THIS IS MY MAID.

IS THAT TRUE? YOU THE MAID?
I'M ANYBODY YOU WANT ME TO BE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
BE SCARED, FLORENCE.

THESE MEN ARE GOVERNMENT AGENTS. THEY JUST
WANNA FIND OUT WHY GEORGE CALLED THE PRESIDENT.

THAT'S RIGHT, MISS, AND UNLESS YOU CAN VERIFY
HIS STORY, WE'RE GONNA TAKE HIM FOR QUESTIONING.

YOU MEAN IT'S UP TO ME
WHETHER THEY TAKE YOU IN OR NOT?

YEAH.

LOOK, WILL YOU JUST TELL
'EM WHY I MADE THAT CALL?

YOU WANT ME TO GET YOU
OFF THE HOOK? THE SAME ME...

WHO GOT THROWN OUT OF
HERE FOR BEIN' IN THE WAY?

FLORENCE. WHAT FIRST
MADE YOU SUSPICIOUS OF HIM?

WAS IT THEM LITTLE BEADY EYES?

WILL YOU JUST TELL 'EM? I'M TRYIN'
TO REMEMBER, MR. JEFFERSON,

BUT I NEED SOMETHING
TO JOG MY MEMORY.

MAYBE IF I HAD A SANDWICH. WHAT?
HEY, LOOK, THE SANDWICH CAN WAIT.

WELL, YOUR APOLOGY CAN'T.

[Sighs] OKAY. I'M
SORRY, FLORENCE.

I'M A GOOD MAID.
YOU'RE A GOOD MAID.

AND A GOOD COOK.
AND A GOOD COOK.

AND I GET A $20 RAISE. NO WAY.

OKAY. I'LL VISIT YOU EVERY
MONTH. WAIT, WAIT. HOLD IT.

I'LL MAKE IT 10. WHY,
THANK YOU, MR. JEFFERSON.

MR. JEFFERSON ONLY MADE THAT PHONE CALL
'CAUSE HE WANTED THE PRESIDENT TO STAY HERE.

HE THOUGHT IT'D BE GOOD
ADVERTISING FOR HIS BUSINESS.

[Doorbell Ringing] IT
CHECKS OUT ALL RIGHT.

SEE? I TOLD YA.
[Laughs Haughtily]

YES? I'M DEAN. EAST
SIDE CHRONICLE.

- MY EDITOR SENT ME OVER
TO TALK TO A MR. JEFFERSON.
- OH, YEAH. THAT'S ME.

HEY, IT'S ABOUT TIME.
COME ON IN HERE.

THIS WAS A PRIVATE INTERVIEW. I DIDN'T
REALIZE THERE'D BE A PARTY GOING ON.

BELIEVE ME. THIS IS NO PARTY.
THESE ARE SECRET SERVICE MEN.

SECRET SERVICE? WHY
ARE YOU GUYS HERE?

OH, IT'S SILLY, REALLY. THEY THOUGHT
GEORGE THREATENED THE PRESIDENT.

WHAT ARE YOU WRITIN'
THAT FOR? I'M A REPORTER.

SO WHAT? I'M A DRY CLEANER. YOU DON'T
SEE ME CLEANIN' YOUR CLOTHES, DO YOU?

- WHERE YOU GOIN'?
- TO GET MY CAMERA.

YOU'RE GONNA DO BETTER THAN
THE SOCIETY PAGE, MR. JEFFERSON.

- I'M GONNA PUT YOU
ON THE FRONT PAGE.
- WHAT?

"LOCAL DRY CLEANER
THREATENS PRESIDENT." WOW!

WAIT! YOU CAN'T PRINT THAT! HEY!

IF I SEE MY NAME IN
YOUR PAPER, I'LL KILL YOU!

JOKING. JUST JOKING.

♪♪ [Humming]

[Woman] THE JEFFERSONS WAS
VIDEOTAPED IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.

♪♪ [Humming]

♪ MOVIN', MOVIN' ON UP ♪♪