The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 2, Episode 22 - Lionel's Problem - full transcript
It is graduation day from college and George and Louise are making preparations to celebrate. Florence are Louise are preparing a nice dinner and George bought Lionel a new briefcase. When George goes out temporarily, Lionel returns home, drunk. Fearful in George seeing Lionel at this stage, Louise, Jenny and Mother Jefferson attempt to sober him up. They soon learn that Lionel is fearful that he won't make it to the top like his father did.
♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ We finally got A
piece of the pie ♪
♪ Fish don't fry
In the kitchen ♪
♪ Beans don't
burn On the grill ♪
♪ Took a whole lot of
tryin' Just to get up that hill ♪
♪ Now we're up
In the big leagues ♪
♪ Gettin' our turn at bat ♪
♪ As long as we live
It's you and me, baby ♪
♪ There ain't nothing
Wrong with that ♪
♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ We finally got A
piece of the pie ♪♪
Mrs. Jefferson, we
ain't got no cucumbers.
Why do you want cucumbers?
I don't want them.
They give me gas.
You the one who asked
me to make a special salad,
and for that, I've got
to have cucumbers.
All right, Florence.
All I have is a $5.00 bill.
That should cover it.
And while you're out,
pick up some olives too.
Weezy.
Oh, hi, George.
Is Lionel here? No.
He's still out picking
up his cap and gown.
Good. I want this
to be a surprise.
What is it?
Lionel's graduation present,
something that'll go real
good with his new job.
Wait till you see this.
Oh, George.
Ooh, honey, hush.
Look at that.
Ain't you supposed
to be in the kitchen?
I am in the kitchen.
That sure is a
fine-looking briefcase.
It ain't no briefcase.
It's an attache case.
What's the difference?
About $80.
Yeah, I want my son
to start out with the best.
It's beautiful, George.
Yeah, I remember
my first briefcase
was real cheap.
First time I used it, I
got caught in the rain.
It smelled like an old goat...
an old wet billy goat.
This is a great idea, George.
This is just what
Lionel is going to need
for his new job.
He got a job already?
Yep, with the Teleteks
Electronics Company,
and they are going
to pay his way
to go back to school
to get his Master's.
And then Lionel and
I are going to have
one thing in common.
Say what?
We'll both have masters.
Only his won't be the kind
that bosses him around.
And he won't talk
back to his, neither.
Look at those
initials... in gold, too.
L.W.J. What's the W stand for?
Wesley. William.
What?
Wesley. William.
I think I've got double
vision in my ears.
George wanted
Lionel's middle name
to be William, after his father.
And she wanted Wesley,
after her old father.
Well, which one
did you decide on?
W.
We figured Lionel could decide
when he grew up.
Well, which one did he choose?
He won't tell us.
He doesn't want one
of us to get mad at him.
So I think I'll put
a ribbon on this
before he gets back.
Uh, George, what is that?
Picture frames for
Lionel's diploma.
But he's only
getting one diploma.
I know, but I'm
going to Xerox it.
I'm going to hang
one in every store.
I hope it isn't going
to be too tough on Lionel,
working at his job
and going to school
at the same time.
Have you noticed how
edgy he seems lately?
Well, I can understand
that it comes from working hard.
You probably never noticed,
but I get edgy myself
once in a while.
No!
Anyway, I mean, look,
Lionel ain't got
nothing to worry about.
He made the
Dean's list, didn't he?
When I was his age,
I wasn't even listed
in the phonebook.
Yeah, the Dean's list.
We should be very proud of him.
You know the whole
time he was in college,
he only got one C?
I only got one C in school too,
but that was the
highest grade I ever got.
Oh, don't feel bad, George.
Brains ain't everything.
Are you kidding?
I had brains enough
to marry you, didn't I?
If I didn't do that,
there wouldn't be no Lionel.
Oh, George.
I ain't seen that much hugging
since Sammy Davis
stopped hanging
around the White House.
Make yourself useful
and fix me a scotch and soda.
I feel like celebrating.
I feel like celebrating too,
but I've got food to fix.
Then fix the food, right
after you fix my drink...
and use my $30 scotch.
How am I supposed to
know which one that is?
It's the one with the
$30 price tag on it.
Lord, that's your child.
Well, George, how does it look?
Hey, that's nice, Louise.
Lionel's going to love that.
You know, I sure wish
Papa was still around.
He'd really be proud of Lionel.
He'd be proud of
you too, George.
Yeah.
Anyway, hurry up
with my drink, Florence.
I ain't fixing you no drink.
What?
You the maid. Yeah.
And I'm your boss.
Yeah.
Well, then, fix me a drink.
I ain't fixing you no drink
because I can't find
your special scotch.
Huh?
Hey, Weezy,
what happened to
my special scotch?
Well, I don't know, George.
I had a full bottle
of $30 scotch.
Well, don't look at me, honey,
because I don't drink that mess.
I only drink ginger
ale and Muscatel.
Well, I guess it
just disappeared.
Damn, now I've got to
go get another bottle.
Well, you have other
scotch here, George.
Why don't you drink that?
Are you kidding?
I wouldn't touch
that old cheap stuff.
I keep that for the Willises.
Well, since you're going out,
would you mind picking
up some cucumbers too?
And get some olives too.
Hey, what do I look
like? A delivery boy?
You want an honest answer?
We need the cucumbers and olives
for Lionel's party, George.
Ah, hi, Mr. Jefferson.
Lionel home?
Don't ask me, ask the boss.
Lionel ain't back yet.
[YAWNING]
Oh, well, look who
finally woke up.
Yes, I've had all the
beauty sleep I need.
Maybe you ought
to take a little nap?
Well, where's my
grandson, the graduate?
Well, he's still out,
Mother Jefferson.
Well, where's George?
He went to the liquor store.
There's a bottle
of scotch missing.
Scotch?
Yes.
You wouldn't know where it went,
would you, Mother Jefferson?
Well, it didn't go into me.
I don't drink scotch.
I tried some once
in my tomato juice,
and it was terrible.
So you threw it out, right?
Of course not, child.
Like I told Louise
a thousand times...
Waste not, want not.
[SINGING DRUNKENLY]
Ah, Lionel,
I was just coming
over to see you.
I see you've already
started celebrating
your graduation, hey?
Ain't that something?
And now I'm all
set to flunk life.
Oh, no.
I'm certain you're
going on to great things.
Oh, sure. Sure.
Yes, I remember
my own graduation
as if it were only 18 years ago.
I made the Dean's
list, you know?
Really? I was an
honors man at Oxford.
My father hated that.
He used to say
that all Oxford men
were long-haired sissies.
Of course, he was
a short-haired
Cambridge man himself.
Come to think of it,
he was short and
hairy all over...
although I don't think
that's why he went to Cambridge.
My Pop never even
finished high school.
Well, there's nothing to
be ashamed of, you know?
Oh, who's ashamed?
Do you think that little Lionel
and his dumb diploma's
going to make it half
as good as his Pop?
Of course he is. You are.
Man, are you betting
on the wrong horse.
You know, at Oxford,
it's an old university tradition
to go out with a po.
A po' what?
Oh, just a po.
Well, that's silly.
I mean, you can have
a po' black or a po' white,
but you just can't have a po'.
You don't understand, you see.
In England, a po is...
It's a chamber
pot is what it is.
Oh, I get it.
You were too po' to
have your own john.
Ha, ha, ha.
Very good.
No, I'm talking
about a drunken idiot
who climbed way up
the spire of his college
and hung a po on it.
Of course, coming
down I was cold sober.
Just like me.
Well, if you feel the need
for some hair of
the dog that bit you,
this should do the trick.
Ooh, scotch?
Yes, it's one of your
father's favorite brands,
so you tell him
to drink a toast to you from me.
Pop drink to me?
Well, of course.
He must be very proud of you.
Yeah.
Oh, well, thanks, Mr. Bentley,
and I'll tell Pop that he
must be proud of me.
Yes, and good luck
with the new job.
Yeah. Lots of luck, Lionel.
Hi, everybody.
Oh, oh, look at what
the Scotchman gave me.
A bottle of English.
Lionel, where have you been?
I have been celebrating.
Lionel, you're drunk.
Really? Me too.
Drink it down.
No. Coffee isn't
healthy for you.
Drink it.
I can't understand
what's gotten into you.
I can. About a pint of liquor.
Lionel, why did you do it?
Today of all days, why?
Well, this isn't the first time
he's had too much
to drink lately,
is it, Lionel?
Lionel, is that true?
Now I know what happened
to that bottle of scotch.
Shame on you, Lionel.
Don't you know that
alcohol is the devil's brew?
Well, if it didn't
help my digestion,
I'd never touch it.
It's going to take a
lot more than coffee
to sober him up.
Then what are we going to do?
Graduation is only
two hours away.
Well, I'll get Lionel undressed
and under a cold shower.
Jenny.
But this is an emergency.
Well, it's not that
much of an emergency.
It will be if his father
sees him like that.
Oh, my God, I
forgot about George.
He'll be here any second,
and if he sees Lionel
drunk, he'll kill him.
Come on, Jenny.
Help me get him
into his bedroom.
Hi, Weezy.
Hi.
Hi!
What you doing back there?
Oh, well, where did
you expect me to be?
Well, I just saw you over there.
Oh, George.
Oh, I missed you
while you were gone.
What was that all about?
I told you, George,
I missed you.
I've only been gone 20 minutes.
I know, but it seemed
like half an hour.
What can I tell you?
Oh, you're back, Mr. Jefferson.
I hope you got the
cucumbers and olives.
Yeah, I got them.
Well, give them to me.
Get them yourself.
You're the maid, ain't you?
You keep running me like this,
I'm going to stop
charging you by the hour
and start charging
you by the mile.
Now, look, Weezy...
Where'd you come from?
Uh, well, I was...
In the bathroom.
Can't you Willises use
your own bathroom?
Well, George, Jenny's...
She's waiting on Lionel.
Where is he, anyway?
Oh, probably stopped
to talk with some friends.
Oh, don't worry,
there's plenty of time.
Yeah, but I want
him to get there early.
I don't want them to run
out of those diplomas.
How is he?
Asleep, I hope.
You told me he's been doing
a lot of drinking lately. Why?
Something must be bothering him.
What?
I don't know. When I asked him,
he said he was
drinking to his future.
Well, what does that mean?
I was hoping that
you could tell me.
Hey. What?
What's Lionel's
present doing out here?
I'll take it to his room.
No! What?
She said no!
I'll put it in his room.
You look tired.
Doesn't he look tired, Jenny?
Oh, yes. Very tired.
No, no, no.
Well, isn't this nice?
No.
Well, isn't this nice?
Don't you two have
anything else to say?
Oh, sure.
L...!
Why, it's your
suit, Mr. Jefferson.
I've fallen in
love with this suit.
The style, the
fabric, the lining.
Ooh, the lining is doing it.
You know what else I think?
Do you... know
what else I think?
Do you have to think so loud?
Well, uh... uh...
I was thinking, Mr. Jefferson,
that I have always admired you.
A self-made man who
came up the hard way,
all the way from nothing.
Now you've got
five cleaning stores.
Six.
Six, that's right.
Maybe some day
there'll be seven or eight.
But, see, the point
is, Mr. Jefferson,
you did it by yourself.
And to think
it started out in a
cotton field in Alabama
46 years ago.
45.
No! That's even more remarkable,
to get this far so soon?
Why, you're still a
young man, Mr. Jefferson.
Young looking too.
You know, if I didn't know you,
I'd never guess
you were old enough
to be Lionel's father.
I know why she's out of breath,
but why are you
breathing so hard?
I can't help myself.
I get carried away when
I'm this close to you.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
That must be Lionel.
Probably forgot his key again.
Hi, Mr. J.
Oh, I thought you were Lionel.
Oh, no, I couldn't be.
I'm taller than he is.
What do you want, Bentley?
I'd like to borrow a corkscrew.
You see, a lady friend
of mine just came over.
Okay, Bentley, but
bring it right back.
We've got a celebration
around here of our own.
Yes, I know.
As I was telling Lionel
out in the hallway...
Oh, you saw Lionel in the hall?
Yes, but I'm not
absolutely certain
that he saw me.
Hello, Mrs. J.
Goodbye, Mrs. J?
You sure Lionel ain't here?
Here?
Oh, if Lionel came home,
wouldn't I've seen him?
Not necessarily. He
could be in his room.
Oh, I'm positive he's not.
Uh, Jenny, why don't you go in
and make sure Lionel
is not in his bedroom?
Oh, yes, sure
thing, Mrs. Jefferson.
As I was telling Lionel
about my own college graduation,
I did some pretty crazy things
in those days.
You ain't changed a bit.
Ah, you have
a delicious sense
of humor, Mr. J.,
which reminds me of a story.
Would you like to hear
what the chorus girl
said to the bishop?
Who cares?
Well, that's not
the way I heard it.
The way I was told it...
What happened to Jenny?
No, that wasn't it either.
Lionel?
Lionel? You in there?
Oh, Mr. Jefferson,
he's not in your room either.
I guess you're right, Weezy,
Lionel ain't here.
Even if Lionel were here,
he might not know it.
Hey, Mr. Bentley, why don't
you come upstairs with me?
I think we have a
corkscrew up there.
Because when I saw
him earlier in the hallway,
he'd had more than
his share of the grape.
Why's he eating grapes?
Oh, well, you know
Mr. Bentley, George.
He's weird.
Yeah.
Well, look, I can't
relax out here,
so I think I'll go lie
down for a while.
Who's in there?
George! You can't lie down now.
Say what?
You've got to go to my place.
Your place? What for?
Oh, I just remembered
I forgot my camera.
Mama...
George, I want to take
some pictures of Lionel.
But I've got a camera.
You could use mine.
I can't use your camera, George.
It's got too many gadgets on it.
But Ma...
All right now, if you
want to go and ruin
one of the happiest
days of my life,
go right ahead.
Now, don't cry.
Now I won't be able
to take any pictures
of my wonderful grandson
on his graduation day.
Okay, Mama!
Well, George ought to be calling
from my place in
about 30 minutes.
What for?
For this.
Lionel, I'm surprised at you.
I always thought you had
a good head on your shoulders.
Well, right now
I wish I had somebody
else's head on my shoulders.
Well, what did you expect?
That's what happens
when you drink too much.
Yeah, and I should know better.
I'm not very good
at holding my liquor.
Hmm, just like his father.
There's got to be
a reason for all this drinking.
Why?
Why not?
Because if you've got a problem,
drinking is not
going to solve it.
Now, tell me why.
Mom, I'm scared.
Scared of what?
Scared of how I'm going
to do on this new job.
Don't worry, you'll do fine.
Fine isn't good enough.
I've got to do spectacular.
Why?
Because of the competition.
What competition?
Pop.
Are you still drunk?
Well, look at the
record I've got to match.
Pop started out with nothing
and went right to the top.
Me, I'm starting
out with everything.
Well, what's wrong with that?
Don't you see?
That means I've got to
do twice as good as Pop.
He's going to expect that,
And I want him to
be really proud of me.
Lionel, you remember
when you were
going to high school
and you asked your father and me
to help you with your homework?
Yeah, but you
always had to help me
because Pop was too busy.
He wasn't busy.
He was embarrassed, Lionel.
He didn't help you
with your homework
because he couldn't.
It's not that he
didn't have brains.
He didn't want to
waste it on school.
Believe me, Lionel,
no matter what you
do from here on out,
your father is
already proud of you,
and so am I.
Ahem, ahem, ahem.
Mama?
Weezy?
Oh, George.
I'm so sorry about
sending you for my camera.
I should've realized
I had it with me all the time.
Yeah, yeah, forget it, Ma.
Ta-dah!
Hey, Lionel!
Man, you look great.
Don't he, Weezy?
He sure does.
Lionel, just stand over there
by your mother and father.
I just want to get
a good picture of the family.
Hey, Lionel,
now that you're a
college graduate
and studying for your
Master's and all that,
you'd better not get so smart
you don't want to
talk to your old man.
Are you kidding, Pop?
If I stopped talking to you,
I wouldn't be
smart, I'd be dumb.
Louise, how does this look?
This looks fine,
Mother Jefferson.
Good.
Okay, Louise, just
press the button.
ANNOUNCER: The
Jeffersons was recorded on tape
in front of a studio audience.
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ We finally got A
piece of the pie ♪
♪ Fish don't fry
In the kitchen ♪
♪ Beans don't
burn On the grill ♪
♪ Took a whole lot of
tryin' Just to get up that hill ♪
♪ Now we're up
In the big leagues ♪
♪ Gettin' our turn at bat ♪
♪ As long as we live
It's you and me, baby ♪
♪ There ain't nothing
Wrong with that ♪
♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ We finally got A
piece of the pie ♪♪
Mrs. Jefferson, we
ain't got no cucumbers.
Why do you want cucumbers?
I don't want them.
They give me gas.
You the one who asked
me to make a special salad,
and for that, I've got
to have cucumbers.
All right, Florence.
All I have is a $5.00 bill.
That should cover it.
And while you're out,
pick up some olives too.
Weezy.
Oh, hi, George.
Is Lionel here? No.
He's still out picking
up his cap and gown.
Good. I want this
to be a surprise.
What is it?
Lionel's graduation present,
something that'll go real
good with his new job.
Wait till you see this.
Oh, George.
Ooh, honey, hush.
Look at that.
Ain't you supposed
to be in the kitchen?
I am in the kitchen.
That sure is a
fine-looking briefcase.
It ain't no briefcase.
It's an attache case.
What's the difference?
About $80.
Yeah, I want my son
to start out with the best.
It's beautiful, George.
Yeah, I remember
my first briefcase
was real cheap.
First time I used it, I
got caught in the rain.
It smelled like an old goat...
an old wet billy goat.
This is a great idea, George.
This is just what
Lionel is going to need
for his new job.
He got a job already?
Yep, with the Teleteks
Electronics Company,
and they are going
to pay his way
to go back to school
to get his Master's.
And then Lionel and
I are going to have
one thing in common.
Say what?
We'll both have masters.
Only his won't be the kind
that bosses him around.
And he won't talk
back to his, neither.
Look at those
initials... in gold, too.
L.W.J. What's the W stand for?
Wesley. William.
What?
Wesley. William.
I think I've got double
vision in my ears.
George wanted
Lionel's middle name
to be William, after his father.
And she wanted Wesley,
after her old father.
Well, which one
did you decide on?
W.
We figured Lionel could decide
when he grew up.
Well, which one did he choose?
He won't tell us.
He doesn't want one
of us to get mad at him.
So I think I'll put
a ribbon on this
before he gets back.
Uh, George, what is that?
Picture frames for
Lionel's diploma.
But he's only
getting one diploma.
I know, but I'm
going to Xerox it.
I'm going to hang
one in every store.
I hope it isn't going
to be too tough on Lionel,
working at his job
and going to school
at the same time.
Have you noticed how
edgy he seems lately?
Well, I can understand
that it comes from working hard.
You probably never noticed,
but I get edgy myself
once in a while.
No!
Anyway, I mean, look,
Lionel ain't got
nothing to worry about.
He made the
Dean's list, didn't he?
When I was his age,
I wasn't even listed
in the phonebook.
Yeah, the Dean's list.
We should be very proud of him.
You know the whole
time he was in college,
he only got one C?
I only got one C in school too,
but that was the
highest grade I ever got.
Oh, don't feel bad, George.
Brains ain't everything.
Are you kidding?
I had brains enough
to marry you, didn't I?
If I didn't do that,
there wouldn't be no Lionel.
Oh, George.
I ain't seen that much hugging
since Sammy Davis
stopped hanging
around the White House.
Make yourself useful
and fix me a scotch and soda.
I feel like celebrating.
I feel like celebrating too,
but I've got food to fix.
Then fix the food, right
after you fix my drink...
and use my $30 scotch.
How am I supposed to
know which one that is?
It's the one with the
$30 price tag on it.
Lord, that's your child.
Well, George, how does it look?
Hey, that's nice, Louise.
Lionel's going to love that.
You know, I sure wish
Papa was still around.
He'd really be proud of Lionel.
He'd be proud of
you too, George.
Yeah.
Anyway, hurry up
with my drink, Florence.
I ain't fixing you no drink.
What?
You the maid. Yeah.
And I'm your boss.
Yeah.
Well, then, fix me a drink.
I ain't fixing you no drink
because I can't find
your special scotch.
Huh?
Hey, Weezy,
what happened to
my special scotch?
Well, I don't know, George.
I had a full bottle
of $30 scotch.
Well, don't look at me, honey,
because I don't drink that mess.
I only drink ginger
ale and Muscatel.
Well, I guess it
just disappeared.
Damn, now I've got to
go get another bottle.
Well, you have other
scotch here, George.
Why don't you drink that?
Are you kidding?
I wouldn't touch
that old cheap stuff.
I keep that for the Willises.
Well, since you're going out,
would you mind picking
up some cucumbers too?
And get some olives too.
Hey, what do I look
like? A delivery boy?
You want an honest answer?
We need the cucumbers and olives
for Lionel's party, George.
Ah, hi, Mr. Jefferson.
Lionel home?
Don't ask me, ask the boss.
Lionel ain't back yet.
[YAWNING]
Oh, well, look who
finally woke up.
Yes, I've had all the
beauty sleep I need.
Maybe you ought
to take a little nap?
Well, where's my
grandson, the graduate?
Well, he's still out,
Mother Jefferson.
Well, where's George?
He went to the liquor store.
There's a bottle
of scotch missing.
Scotch?
Yes.
You wouldn't know where it went,
would you, Mother Jefferson?
Well, it didn't go into me.
I don't drink scotch.
I tried some once
in my tomato juice,
and it was terrible.
So you threw it out, right?
Of course not, child.
Like I told Louise
a thousand times...
Waste not, want not.
[SINGING DRUNKENLY]
Ah, Lionel,
I was just coming
over to see you.
I see you've already
started celebrating
your graduation, hey?
Ain't that something?
And now I'm all
set to flunk life.
Oh, no.
I'm certain you're
going on to great things.
Oh, sure. Sure.
Yes, I remember
my own graduation
as if it were only 18 years ago.
I made the Dean's
list, you know?
Really? I was an
honors man at Oxford.
My father hated that.
He used to say
that all Oxford men
were long-haired sissies.
Of course, he was
a short-haired
Cambridge man himself.
Come to think of it,
he was short and
hairy all over...
although I don't think
that's why he went to Cambridge.
My Pop never even
finished high school.
Well, there's nothing to
be ashamed of, you know?
Oh, who's ashamed?
Do you think that little Lionel
and his dumb diploma's
going to make it half
as good as his Pop?
Of course he is. You are.
Man, are you betting
on the wrong horse.
You know, at Oxford,
it's an old university tradition
to go out with a po.
A po' what?
Oh, just a po.
Well, that's silly.
I mean, you can have
a po' black or a po' white,
but you just can't have a po'.
You don't understand, you see.
In England, a po is...
It's a chamber
pot is what it is.
Oh, I get it.
You were too po' to
have your own john.
Ha, ha, ha.
Very good.
No, I'm talking
about a drunken idiot
who climbed way up
the spire of his college
and hung a po on it.
Of course, coming
down I was cold sober.
Just like me.
Well, if you feel the need
for some hair of
the dog that bit you,
this should do the trick.
Ooh, scotch?
Yes, it's one of your
father's favorite brands,
so you tell him
to drink a toast to you from me.
Pop drink to me?
Well, of course.
He must be very proud of you.
Yeah.
Oh, well, thanks, Mr. Bentley,
and I'll tell Pop that he
must be proud of me.
Yes, and good luck
with the new job.
Yeah. Lots of luck, Lionel.
Hi, everybody.
Oh, oh, look at what
the Scotchman gave me.
A bottle of English.
Lionel, where have you been?
I have been celebrating.
Lionel, you're drunk.
Really? Me too.
Drink it down.
No. Coffee isn't
healthy for you.
Drink it.
I can't understand
what's gotten into you.
I can. About a pint of liquor.
Lionel, why did you do it?
Today of all days, why?
Well, this isn't the first time
he's had too much
to drink lately,
is it, Lionel?
Lionel, is that true?
Now I know what happened
to that bottle of scotch.
Shame on you, Lionel.
Don't you know that
alcohol is the devil's brew?
Well, if it didn't
help my digestion,
I'd never touch it.
It's going to take a
lot more than coffee
to sober him up.
Then what are we going to do?
Graduation is only
two hours away.
Well, I'll get Lionel undressed
and under a cold shower.
Jenny.
But this is an emergency.
Well, it's not that
much of an emergency.
It will be if his father
sees him like that.
Oh, my God, I
forgot about George.
He'll be here any second,
and if he sees Lionel
drunk, he'll kill him.
Come on, Jenny.
Help me get him
into his bedroom.
Hi, Weezy.
Hi.
Hi!
What you doing back there?
Oh, well, where did
you expect me to be?
Well, I just saw you over there.
Oh, George.
Oh, I missed you
while you were gone.
What was that all about?
I told you, George,
I missed you.
I've only been gone 20 minutes.
I know, but it seemed
like half an hour.
What can I tell you?
Oh, you're back, Mr. Jefferson.
I hope you got the
cucumbers and olives.
Yeah, I got them.
Well, give them to me.
Get them yourself.
You're the maid, ain't you?
You keep running me like this,
I'm going to stop
charging you by the hour
and start charging
you by the mile.
Now, look, Weezy...
Where'd you come from?
Uh, well, I was...
In the bathroom.
Can't you Willises use
your own bathroom?
Well, George, Jenny's...
She's waiting on Lionel.
Where is he, anyway?
Oh, probably stopped
to talk with some friends.
Oh, don't worry,
there's plenty of time.
Yeah, but I want
him to get there early.
I don't want them to run
out of those diplomas.
How is he?
Asleep, I hope.
You told me he's been doing
a lot of drinking lately. Why?
Something must be bothering him.
What?
I don't know. When I asked him,
he said he was
drinking to his future.
Well, what does that mean?
I was hoping that
you could tell me.
Hey. What?
What's Lionel's
present doing out here?
I'll take it to his room.
No! What?
She said no!
I'll put it in his room.
You look tired.
Doesn't he look tired, Jenny?
Oh, yes. Very tired.
No, no, no.
Well, isn't this nice?
No.
Well, isn't this nice?
Don't you two have
anything else to say?
Oh, sure.
L...!
Why, it's your
suit, Mr. Jefferson.
I've fallen in
love with this suit.
The style, the
fabric, the lining.
Ooh, the lining is doing it.
You know what else I think?
Do you... know
what else I think?
Do you have to think so loud?
Well, uh... uh...
I was thinking, Mr. Jefferson,
that I have always admired you.
A self-made man who
came up the hard way,
all the way from nothing.
Now you've got
five cleaning stores.
Six.
Six, that's right.
Maybe some day
there'll be seven or eight.
But, see, the point
is, Mr. Jefferson,
you did it by yourself.
And to think
it started out in a
cotton field in Alabama
46 years ago.
45.
No! That's even more remarkable,
to get this far so soon?
Why, you're still a
young man, Mr. Jefferson.
Young looking too.
You know, if I didn't know you,
I'd never guess
you were old enough
to be Lionel's father.
I know why she's out of breath,
but why are you
breathing so hard?
I can't help myself.
I get carried away when
I'm this close to you.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
That must be Lionel.
Probably forgot his key again.
Hi, Mr. J.
Oh, I thought you were Lionel.
Oh, no, I couldn't be.
I'm taller than he is.
What do you want, Bentley?
I'd like to borrow a corkscrew.
You see, a lady friend
of mine just came over.
Okay, Bentley, but
bring it right back.
We've got a celebration
around here of our own.
Yes, I know.
As I was telling Lionel
out in the hallway...
Oh, you saw Lionel in the hall?
Yes, but I'm not
absolutely certain
that he saw me.
Hello, Mrs. J.
Goodbye, Mrs. J?
You sure Lionel ain't here?
Here?
Oh, if Lionel came home,
wouldn't I've seen him?
Not necessarily. He
could be in his room.
Oh, I'm positive he's not.
Uh, Jenny, why don't you go in
and make sure Lionel
is not in his bedroom?
Oh, yes, sure
thing, Mrs. Jefferson.
As I was telling Lionel
about my own college graduation,
I did some pretty crazy things
in those days.
You ain't changed a bit.
Ah, you have
a delicious sense
of humor, Mr. J.,
which reminds me of a story.
Would you like to hear
what the chorus girl
said to the bishop?
Who cares?
Well, that's not
the way I heard it.
The way I was told it...
What happened to Jenny?
No, that wasn't it either.
Lionel?
Lionel? You in there?
Oh, Mr. Jefferson,
he's not in your room either.
I guess you're right, Weezy,
Lionel ain't here.
Even if Lionel were here,
he might not know it.
Hey, Mr. Bentley, why don't
you come upstairs with me?
I think we have a
corkscrew up there.
Because when I saw
him earlier in the hallway,
he'd had more than
his share of the grape.
Why's he eating grapes?
Oh, well, you know
Mr. Bentley, George.
He's weird.
Yeah.
Well, look, I can't
relax out here,
so I think I'll go lie
down for a while.
Who's in there?
George! You can't lie down now.
Say what?
You've got to go to my place.
Your place? What for?
Oh, I just remembered
I forgot my camera.
Mama...
George, I want to take
some pictures of Lionel.
But I've got a camera.
You could use mine.
I can't use your camera, George.
It's got too many gadgets on it.
But Ma...
All right now, if you
want to go and ruin
one of the happiest
days of my life,
go right ahead.
Now, don't cry.
Now I won't be able
to take any pictures
of my wonderful grandson
on his graduation day.
Okay, Mama!
Well, George ought to be calling
from my place in
about 30 minutes.
What for?
For this.
Lionel, I'm surprised at you.
I always thought you had
a good head on your shoulders.
Well, right now
I wish I had somebody
else's head on my shoulders.
Well, what did you expect?
That's what happens
when you drink too much.
Yeah, and I should know better.
I'm not very good
at holding my liquor.
Hmm, just like his father.
There's got to be
a reason for all this drinking.
Why?
Why not?
Because if you've got a problem,
drinking is not
going to solve it.
Now, tell me why.
Mom, I'm scared.
Scared of what?
Scared of how I'm going
to do on this new job.
Don't worry, you'll do fine.
Fine isn't good enough.
I've got to do spectacular.
Why?
Because of the competition.
What competition?
Pop.
Are you still drunk?
Well, look at the
record I've got to match.
Pop started out with nothing
and went right to the top.
Me, I'm starting
out with everything.
Well, what's wrong with that?
Don't you see?
That means I've got to
do twice as good as Pop.
He's going to expect that,
And I want him to
be really proud of me.
Lionel, you remember
when you were
going to high school
and you asked your father and me
to help you with your homework?
Yeah, but you
always had to help me
because Pop was too busy.
He wasn't busy.
He was embarrassed, Lionel.
He didn't help you
with your homework
because he couldn't.
It's not that he
didn't have brains.
He didn't want to
waste it on school.
Believe me, Lionel,
no matter what you
do from here on out,
your father is
already proud of you,
and so am I.
Ahem, ahem, ahem.
Mama?
Weezy?
Oh, George.
I'm so sorry about
sending you for my camera.
I should've realized
I had it with me all the time.
Yeah, yeah, forget it, Ma.
Ta-dah!
Hey, Lionel!
Man, you look great.
Don't he, Weezy?
He sure does.
Lionel, just stand over there
by your mother and father.
I just want to get
a good picture of the family.
Hey, Lionel,
now that you're a
college graduate
and studying for your
Master's and all that,
you'd better not get so smart
you don't want to
talk to your old man.
Are you kidding, Pop?
If I stopped talking to you,
I wouldn't be
smart, I'd be dumb.
Louise, how does this look?
This looks fine,
Mother Jefferson.
Good.
Okay, Louise, just
press the button.
ANNOUNCER: The
Jeffersons was recorded on tape
in front of a studio audience.