The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 2, Episode 2 - George's First Vacation - full transcript

♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East
Side Movin' on up ♪

♪ To a deluxe apartment ♪

♪ In the sky ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East
Side Movin' on up ♪

♪ We finally got a
piece Of the pie ♪

♪ Fish don't fry
In the kitchen ♪

♪ Beans don't
burn On the grill ♪

♪ Took a whole lot of tryin' ♪



♪ Just to get up that hill ♪

♪ Now we're up
In the big leagues ♪

♪ Gettin' our turn at bat ♪

♪ As long as we live
It's you and me, baby ♪

♪ There ain't Nothin'
wrong with that ♪

♪ We're movin' on
up Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East
Side Movin' on up ♪

♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪

♪ Movin' on up Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East
Side Movin' on up ♪

♪ We finally got a
piece Of the pie ♪♪

I hate Sunday.

I hate Sundays.

I mean I really hate Sunday.



George don't talk that
way. This is the Lord's day.

The Lord didn't like
Sundays neither.

He what?

That's right. All week
long he was having fun

creating heaven and earth
and making plagues and floods,

but Sundays he didn't
have nothing to do.

The Lord was bored.

Same as me.

Well, at least he's got good
sense enough to take a day off.

Well, he can afford to.
They're filling collection plates

for him all over the world.

His stores are open,
mine are closed.

Oh, relax, George.
Try sitting down

and reading the funnies.

Oh, Andy Capp is beating up

on his wife again, that
usually makes you feel good.

Yeah. Hey, you know?

If I knock that back wall
out in the Brooklyn store

I can put in an extra
cleaning machine.

Can't you take your mind off
your business for one minute?

Hello, Mrs. Jefferson. I've
brought you my new nephew.

Oh, how nice, Mr. Bentley.

Where is he?

Oh, he's in England.

But you just said...
Snaps, Mrs. J. Snaps.

Hello, Mr. Jefferson,
beautiful day, isn't it?

It's miserable.

It's lucky I brought
these pictures.

They'll put a
smile on your face.

Or maybe not.

Weezy, this is the last
Sunday I get out of bed.

Now, this is my
brother's new baby.

Well, of course he's new.
An old baby would be bizarre.

But where is he?

Oh, he's in the baby buggy.

All the Bentleys
are notoriously shy.

Not shy enough.

What a beautiful
garden your brother has.

Yes. My sister-in-law's got
the old green thumb, all right.

She grows the finest
hollyhocks in Sussex.

Your brother sure does have
a long tall, skinny woman.

Oh, no. That's a hollyhock.

This is my sister-in-law.

He should have
married a hollyhock!

Your brother has a
beautiful home Mr. Bentley.

Is it very old?

I believe it goes
back to Henry VIII.

If they don't keep
up the payments.

Oh, England looks so
pretty, doesn't it, George?

I'd love to go there someday.

Once you've seen one Englishman,

You've seen too many.

That's very funny...
For an American.

Hi, Louise. Hi.

Is Bentley here? We rang his
bell but there was no answer.

Oh, sure, he's here. Come in.

Thank you. Hello.

You're just in time to see the
pictures of my new nephew.

What are we running
here, a drive-in?

This is a lovely snap...

Can't we look at them
later? We're going out.

Oh, well, another time, perhaps.

Good-bye.

We're going out with you.

With me?

Well, don't you remember?

You said you'd take
us on a tour of the U.N.

No, no, no. That was
going to be Sunday.

This is Sunday.

Good heavens, I
should have known it

when I didn't go to work today.

I'll be with you in two shakes,

just as soon as I
change my clothes.

He ought to change his head.

So you're going around the
U.N.? That should be interesting.

Yeah, hey! Why don't
you come along too?

Well, that's a good idea.
What do you say, George?

I say no.

He never likes to
go out on Sundays.

He'd just like to sit around
and worry about Mondays.

I know the type.

I bet you can't relax even
when you're on vacation.

What vacation? We've
never had a vacation.

Girl, you're joking!

No, when we had the time,
we never had the money.

Now, we've got money, he
says we don't have the time.

Look, I got five
stores to look after.

Uh-oh. I know the symptoms.

You know what you are,
George? You're a workaholic.

No, I... Maybe I take a few
drinks every now and then,

but I don't work at it.

I bet you have the same
problems I used to have with Tom.

Look, Weezy don't have
those same problems.

She and me, when
we get together,

we make sweet soul
music, not honky-tonk.

Except lately you've been
falling asleep at the piano.

I know those symptoms.

But what's a workaholic?

A person who's always
bringing the office home with him.

A guy who's got a
compulsion to work.

It's like a disease.

Then it must be a white one.

Because the only compulsion
blacks got about work

is trying to find it.

George, there are businessmen
like you all over the country.

Guys who feel guilty
if they're not working.

I used to be one of them.

What's wrong with that?

Well, nothing.

But if it becomes an
obsession, it's dangerous.

You keep driving
yourself, one day,

you're going to wake up dead.

That won't stop George.

I'm afraid you're a
classic case, George...

Always driving to be number
one, never able to relax.

Will you cut that out?

I can relax.

I can relax good. Look.

Very good, George.

Now let's see how
long you can hold it.

One, two, three...

How can I relax with
him counting me out?

I'll relax later.

You see?

There's only one
cure: take a vacation.

And you get away
from everything.

Look, why would I
want to take a vacation?

I ain't got nothing I
want to get away from.

Everything I want is right
here. A beautiful apartment.

A great stereo.

You'd be getting
away from us too.

Now that's something
to think about.

There are lots of
places you could go.

Let's look in the
travel section.

Oh, how about this?

"Just a few reservations
left for the islander cruise.

"Escape with us to paradise.

"Forget your everyday
problems as you bask in the sun

and watch your
worries drift away

on the calm blue
waters of the Caribbean."

A cruise?

A luxury liner.

Your own
air-conditioned stateroom

with three cabin stewards
to wait on your every desire.

Mm. A luxury liner!

That's right, you were
in the Navy, weren't you?

Yeah. I was in the galley.

Might as well say I
was in the basement.

Only time I saw the deck

was getting on, getting
off, or throwing up.

But I always said
one day I'd get on deck

and just lie there.

And let people wait on you.

Mm-hm. It sounds
great, huh, Weez?

Could we do it, George?

Sure. we'll do it.
One of these days.

One of these days.

Oh, that's what
I'd really to do,

but my boss just
posted the vacation list.

This is the last
cruise of the season.

By the time I can get
away, it'll be too late.

Now who's the workaholic?

Yeah. It'll have to be one
of these days for us too.

I guess I'm just
like you, George.

You ain't no just like me!

I ain't got to wait for no
boss to tell me when I can go.

I can go anytime I want.

He says it but he
doesn't mean it.

Yes, I do. No, he
doesn't Work is his boss.

He's not really his own boss.

Yes, I am!

No, he's not, Louise.

I am! Look, I can go on vacation

right now if I want
to. Right now.

But he won't. Yes, I will!

Oh, George, thank you!

Congratulations.

All set?

Yeah, we're coming.

♪ Anchors aweigh, my boy ♪

♪ Anchors aweigh ♪♪

Carry on, Bentley.

Did you mean it George.
Are we really going?

Sure, we are!

Man, is that honky Willis
going to eat his heart out.

Just think George...
You and me alone.

An ocean for two.

I showed him who was boss.

Moonlit nights on the Caribbean.

Did you see how sick he looked
when I told him we were going.

I ruined his whole day.

Who says I don't
know how to enjoy life?

George, I hope that's
not the only reason

you're going on this trip.

Just to spite Tom Willis.

What?

No. That's just one
of the fringe benefits.

You sure?

I love you, Weezy.

Oh, George.

It's going to be just
you and me all alone

in our little cabin.

No Lionel, no Mama, Nobody.

Yeah.

It will be like a
second honeymoon

with a "do not disturb"
sign on the door.

♪ Anchors aweigh, my boys ♪

♪ Anchors aweigh ♪♪

Hello, Louise.

Hello, Mother Jefferson.

Come in, come in.

I'm going to fix you
some nice, fresh coffee.

Thank you, Louise.

♪ Anchors aweigh, my boys ♪♪

Hello, Mama.

Has Louise been drinking again?

No, Mama. We just
got some great news.

What is it, son?

We're going on a vacation. No!

Yeah, Mama, we're
going on an ocean cruise!

Oh, that's wonderful news!

Ain't it? A cruise
sounds marvelous!

Don't it!

When are we leaving?

Mama, uh...

Oh, George, you
are so good to me.

How many sons would think
of taking their own mothers

with them on a vacation.

None.

Uh, Mama, look. About
the three of us going...

It's all right George.

I don't mind sharing my
cabin with somebody else.

You know me, I can
get along with anybody.

No, no, Mama. You won't
have to share your cabin.

As a matter of fact...

I'm going to have a
cabin all to myself?

Oh, George, you shouldn't have.

You know Mama, look, why
don't you come over here, sit down.

And just listen, hear? There's
something I got to tell you.

All right?

All right, George. But
I'm afraid I'm going to cry.

Oh, Mama, come on,
don't do that, please.

I can't help it.

I'm going on a boat at last!

I almost went on a boat
once a long time ago.

Your father saved up
enough money to take me

on the Albany Night Boat.

Now, listen, Mama...
What I want to tell you is...

But you got sick, so I
stayed home with you instead.

Now, what do you
want to tell me?

Well, uh, well, you see,

it's just that, uh...
What is it, darling?

Coming, Louise.

I didn't hear her call.

What?

I heard you the first time.

I didn't call you.

I know, I was just trying
to get away from Mama.

Oh, well, that I can understand.

Would you like
some coffee, darling?

Yes.

♪ Sailing, sailing Over
the bounding main ♪♪

Oh, George, I'm so
happy, I could bust!

Weezy, look, I
was just thinking.

What about, sweetheart?

Well, about the
two of us all alone

on that great, big boat.

Oh, don't be silly, dear.

There'll be lots of
people on board.

Strangers, Weezy.
Total strangers.

Oh, don't worry, George.

We are going to do
everything together.

We're going to dance,
swim, play shuffleboard.

No. I ain't doing
nothing with shuffle in it.

George... I mean,
look, for instance,

when you want to go get your
hair done, that takes hours.

I mean, I'll be sitting in
that cabin and all by myself.

Poor baby. Afraid to be alone?

Want me to ask your
mommy to come with us?

Hey! That's a great
idea Weez! Let's go!

Hold it!

Yes, Weezy?

What happened in there
between you and your mother?

Mama thinks she's going with us.

She what?

Look, I tried to
straighten her out.

She started crying. You
know what happens to me

when somebody
cries, I get wiped out.

Well, how would you
like that to happen

without anybody crying?

No, George. You let
me ask you one question,

do you want your
mother to come with us?

No, Weezy, honestly, look, I
want it to be just you and me.

Well, I believe you.

Now, it's going to be hard,
but she's got to be told.

And the quicker the better.

You're right, Weezy.

But listen, when you
tell her, be gentle.

When I tell her?
She's your mother.

Why do I have to be the villain?

Because you got nothing to lose.

She don't like you, anyway.

All right, George,
I'll tell her,

but it will be on your head.

Because I'm going out
there, and let her have it,

straight from the shoulder,

right out, no holding back.

Mother Jefferson...
Oh, Louise! Louise!

Thank you! Thank you!

Mother Jefferson...

Why don't you call me Mama.

Huh?

After all, you're just like
a daughter to me, dear.

Look, Mother Jefferson, I...

I'll be right there, George!

I must be losing my hearing.

I couldn't, George.
I couldn't tell her.

What are we going
to do? I don't know.

If we could only fix
it so Mama'd decide

she don't want to go.

Hello?

Oh, Tom.

Wait. I'll look.

Is that that Tom Willis? Yes.

It's bad enough he's
always hanging around,

now he's calling up, too!

Sh, George! He'll hear you.

Yes, Tom, you did leave
your camera here on the table.

That honky's always bugging me.
Especially when I got a problem.

Uh-huh.

Wait a minute. Hey,
give me the phone!

No, I'm not going
to let you say...

Give me the phone!

Hello, Tom, old buddy.

Hey! It's me, George.

Workaholic anonymous.

Who did you think it was?

Oh.

Hey look, when you
come over tonight

to pick up your camera,

I want you to tell my
mother that you and Helen

are coming with
us on the cruise.

No, this ain't no invitation.

It's make-believe. Uh-huh.

Well, look, you
want to do it or not?

Oh! Thank you, old buddy.
Okay. Take it easy. Bye.

He'll do it.

Now, would you mind telling
me what that was all about?

That was the George
Jefferson Master Plan

for getting Mama not
to come on the cruise.

By making her think the
Willises are coming with us?

Well look, you ought
to know Mama by now.

She loves to be the
center of attention.

So? So?! Look.

I tell her that the Willises
are coming with us

and that I'm going to spend
all of my time with them

and not with her, she won't
want to come. How about that?

George, you're one of the
smartest men I've ever met.

You better believe it!

That's why it always amazes me

when can you come up
with these stupid ideas.

What?

George, that ship
has five cocktail bars,

and your mother's
not going to let them

sail off without her.

Oh yeah? You want to bet?

Anything you say.

Well, I got a brand new
$50 bill here says I'm right.

You got yourself a bet. Come on.

Mama, I got some
bad news for you.

Then why are you smiling?

Mama, I got some bad news.

What is it, son?

The Willises are coming
with us on the cruise.

Oh, no!

Oh, yes. Yeah,
they're coming along.

That's terrible.

I thought you'd say that.

That's going to
spoil the whole trip.

Right.

For you.

Me?

That's right, because I know
you don't like the Willises.

Oh, no, that's not true.

I like them. I like
them so much,

I plan to spend most of my time

with my dear friend Helen, and
her charming honky husband.

I think that's wonderful!

That means we'll all have
a good time on the trip.

All this excitement
has made me so tired.

I think I'll take a nap.

♪ On the good ship Lollipop ♪♪

Sorry, Weezy. I tried.

Oh, that's all right, George.

I understand.

Thanks, Louise.

You're just too
chicken to tell her.

Well, you couldn't
tell her, neither.

That's right.

Let's face it, George.

Around here, your
mother is the boss.

No, she ain't.

Well, maybe you'll get a chance

to tell her that on the ship.

She ain't going
to be on no ship.

Oh, George, you're going
to push her overboard?

Look, Weezy, let me
ask you something.

Haven't I been a
good son to Mama?

You have.

Haven't I given her

everything she
ever wanted? More.

What's wrong with me telling
her that you and I want to be alone,

and she can't come? Nothing.

And if she don't understand,
she ain't my mama, right?

Then I'm going to tell her!

Oh, my. How long
have I been asleep?

Asleep!

I'm surprised you had
time to reach the bed?

Ooh, I had the most
awful nightmare.

I dreamed we were on a cruise,

and a great white
shark attacked the ship

and ate everybody up.

So, I'm sorry, George, but I'm
not going with you on that trip.

You're not?

Now, don't try
talking me into it.

That's a sign. So I'm
not going with you.

Now, I need a cup of coffee.

I'll help you.

Let me get it for you.

Thank you, Louise.

Mother Jefferson, I never
knew you believed in dreams.

I don't, but don't tell George.

After all, hasn't he been
a good son to his mama?

Yes...

And hasn't he given me
everything I ever wanted?

More.

So there's wrong with his going

on a trip alone
with you is there?

Nothing.

And if I don't understand
that, I ain't his mama.

Mother Jefferson, you're sweet.

I know.

Isn't it wonderful?

Hey, Weez!

Hey, you can start warming
up that "do not disturb" sign now.

Hey, old buddy! Come on in!

Careful, where you walk Tom.
The place may be booby-trapped.

That's funny. Come on in.
Your camera's right over there.

Louise, where's the sugar?

On the bottom shelf.

Hi, Mrs. Jefferson. Did
George tell you the news?

We're going along
with you on that cruise.

You don't have to say that now.

Why not? She's not going.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear you're
not going on the cruise.

I hate sharks.

Uh, look, you don't have to
talk about the cruise anymore.

Are you kidding?

The cruise is the only thing
he's been able to talk about

since he called you
about the camera.

That's right, after I talked
to you, I got to thinking.

I was starting to turn into
a workaholic all over again.

You got me so fired up, I
just called my boss at home.

Big deal. You
don't know how big.

I told him I'm taking
my vacation right now.

We're going on that
boat with you, old buddy!

What?!

That's really wonderful!

Mama's dream came true, Weez.

The great white
shark's coming with us.

The Jeffersons was
recorded on tape

in front of a studio audience.