The Jeffersons (1975–1985): Season 1, Episode 4 - Lionel the Playboy - full transcript
Lionel spends all night at a party full of high-society people and thinks he is heading to the top of the world when he befriended influential people. This mindset soon gets the best of him as he thinks about changing his life course, and complains that Louise is planning out his life for him. He threatens to quit school indefinitely, much to the dismay of Louise, and is straining his relationship with Jenny.
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
♪ JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE
IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A
PIECE OF THE PIE ♪♪
GEORGE!
GEORGE! WHAT?
YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL SO LOUD
THE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
WELL, NEITHER DO YOU.
WHERE DID YOU PUT MY KEYS?
- I HAVEN'T TOUCHED YOUR KEYS.
- YOU MUST HAVE...
BECAUSE EVERY NIGHT LIKE CLOCKWORK
I PUT 'EM ON TOP OF THE DRESSER,
AND THEY AIN'T THERE NOW.
MAYBE THEY'RE IN YOUR POCKET.
TO GET IN MY POCKET, THEY
GOTTA START OUT ON THE DRESSER.
SINCE THEY AIN'T ON THE
DRESSER, THEY AIN'T IN MY POCKET.
DID YOU LEAVE THEM IN
THE DOOR? ARE YOU CRAZY?
I'M GONNA LEAVE THE KEYS TO FOUR
CLEANING STORES HANGING IN THE HALL.
IN NEW YORK CITY. COME ON,
WEEZY. NOBODY'S THAT STUPID.
- DID YOU FIND THEM?
- NO!
MAYBE THEY'LL SHOW UP AT WORK.
WHERE'S LIONEL? HOW COME
HE AIN'T EATING WITH US?
I LET HIM SLEEP LONGER TODAY.
HE MUST'VE COME HOME REAL LATE
LAST NIGHT. I DIDN'T EVEN HEAR HIM.
UH-HUH.
HE'S BEEN GOING TO A LOT
OF EXPENSIVE PLACES LATELY.
THAT'S NICE.
I'M REALLY WORRIED
ABOUT HIM. THAT'S NICE.
I'M GOING TO ELOPE
WITH PRESIDENT FORD.
THAT'S NICE.
WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME!
LIONEL IS LIVING IT UP LIKE HE WAS
DIAMOND JIM JEFFERSON. SO WHAT?
WE CAN AFFORD IT. I'M GLAD
SOMEBODY AROUND HERE BESIDES ME...
IS FINALLY LEARNING
TO ENJOY THE MONEY.
IS THAT ALL YOU
CARE ABOUT, MONEY?
I CARE ABOUT OTHER THINGS. HOW COME
YOU BROKE BOTH YOLKS THIS MORNING?
I'M TALKING ABOUT OUR SON. HE'S BEEN
GOING OUT EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU, LOUISE. WHAT
DO YOU WANT OUR SON TO GET OUT OF LIFE?
A GOOD TIME OR A BAD TIME?
A GOOD TIME, OF COURSE.
THAT'S WHAT HE'S HAVING. SO
WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT?
BUT TOO MUCH GOOD TIME
COULD LEAD TO A BAD TIME.
YOU KNOW HE'S NEVER
CARRIED ON LIKE THIS BEFORE.
THAT'S BECAUSE WE
NEVER HAD MONEY BEFORE.
JUST GO WAKE HIM UP. HE'S GONNA BE LATE
FOR SCHOOL. YOU'RE WORRYING ABOUT NOTHING.
WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.
♪ JUNGLE BOOGIE DA BA DA DA DA ♪
♪ OH, WITH THE GET DOWN
GET DOWN, GET DOWN ♪♪
- WHAT'S HAPPENIN', MOMS?
- HEY, POP. HEY.
LIONEL, I THOUGHT YOU
WERE STILL SLEEPING.
WHAT TIME DID YOU GET HOME
LAST NIGHT? WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?
7:30.7:30.
YOU MEAN YOU'RE JUST GETTING IN?
- HEY, IT WAS A GOOD PARTY, MOM.
- MUST'VE BEEN
A DAMN GOOD PARTY.
DON'T YOU HAVE NO
CONSIDERATION FOR YOUR MOTHER?
STAYING OUT ALL NIGHT. HEY, MOM,
YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I WAS OUT.
WELL, IF I'D HAVE KNOWN, I
WOULD'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK.
OKAY, NEXT TIME I'LL TELL
YOU SO YOU CAN WORRY.
DON'T BE GETTING SMART WITH YOUR
MOTHER. WHAT CAN A 22-YEAR-OLD DO...
AT A PARTY UNTIL
7:30 IN THE MORNING?
SAME AS A 45-YEAR-OLD,
EXCEPT HE DOESN'T GET AS TIRED.
GEORGE, SPEAK TO YOUR SON.
ALL RIGHT. LISTEN, LIONEL...
POP, IF IT BOTHERS YOU, I WON'T GO TO
ANY MORE ALL-NIGHT PARTIES, ALL RIGHT?
GOOD. SEE THAT'S
ALL YOU GOTTA DO.
TOO BAD, THOUGH. I WAS JUST GETTING
TO KNOW CLARENCE JACKSON THE THIRD.
THE CLARENCE JACKSON THE THIRD?
- MM-HMM.
- CLARENCE JACKSON III,
WHERE THE FIRST AND SECOND
OWN A CHAIN OF FIVE AND TENS?
- YEAH, HE WAS AT THE PARTY.
- OOH! WEEZY, HIS FAMILY
IS SO RICH,
THEY GOT WHITE MAIDS JUST TO
PICK UP AFTER THE BLACK MAIDS.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT
THE DUDE IS A REAL JAZZ FREAK.
I TOLD HIM ABOUT A COUPLE OF PLACES
IN THE VILLAGE HE'D NEVER HEARD OF.
AND WE WAS REALLY GETTING TIGHT.
HE WAS HANGING ON EVERY WORD I SAID.
HEY, POP, I WAS ♪ THE
LIFE OF THE PARTY ♪♪
CLARENCE JACKSON III. WHAT DO YOU
KNOW, WEEZY, THE JEFFERSONS DONE ARRIVED.
AND DIG ON THIS. CLARENCE,
WE CALL HIM "THREE" FOR SHORT.
HE'S AN ALL RIGHT DUDE. AND I USED
TO THINK PEOPLE LIKE THAT WERE SNOBS.
DON'T LET ME HEAR YOU TALKING LIKE
THAT. "SNOB" IS A POOR MAN'S WORD.
WHEN YOU GET RICH, THERE
ARE NO SNOBS. YOU KNOW WHY?
WHY?
'CAUSE WHEN YOU GOT MONEY,
YOU'RE BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.
DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE
WHAT YOU JUST SAID?
NO, BUT THERE'S GOT TO BE
SOMETHING TO IT 'CAUSE I SAID IT.
YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T
UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS.
YOU'RE MAKING THE RIGHT CONTACTS
AND MEETING THE RIGHT PEOPLE.
COULDN'T HURT. LATER, POP.
♪ LIFE OF THE PARTY ♪
♪♪
HOW ABOUT THAT? MY SON IS
FRIENDS WITH A MILLIONAIRE.
AND YOUR WIFE IS
MARRIED TO AN IDIOT.
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM
NOW, WOMAN? YOU.
YOU CAN'T SEE FURTHER THAN
THEM DOLLAR SIGNS IN YOUR EYES.
AND LOOK WHAT IT'S DOING TO
LIONEL. WHAT'S IT DOING TO HIM?
WE DIDN'T RAISE OUR
SON TO BE A PLAYBOY.
EVEN GRANDPA WALTON
IS A PLAYBOY TO YOU.
THE NAME JEFFERSON IS GONNA MEAN SOMETHING
IN THIS TOWN. WE'RE ON OUR WAY UP.
WELL, DON'T FORGET WHERE
YOU CAME FROM, J. PAUL GHETTO.
WATCH IT, LOUISE.
NOW THAT WE'RE IN THE CHIPS, WE'RE
GONNA HAVE TO ALL MAKE NEW FRIENDS.
AND WE CAN PICK 'EM FROM
THE CREAM OF THE CROP.
THERE'S A SWITCH.
THREE GENERATIONS AGO, THE ONLY CROP
THE JEFFERSONS WERE PICKING WAS COTTON.
WELL, I GOT WISE. YOU CAN MAKE A HELL
OF A LOT MORE MONEY OUT OF COTTON...
WHEN YOU'RE CLEANING
IT AND PRESSING IT.
GEORGE, YOU'RE GIVING OUR
SON ALL THE WRONG VALUES.
YOU DON'T KNOW THIS CLARENCE
JACKSON HE'S MIXING WITH.
IT DON'T MATTER. HE'S RICH. I
DON'T WANT MONEY TO RUIN LIONEL.
DON'T WORRY. IT
WON'T. DID IT RUIN ME?
I GOTTA GET DRESSED
AND OPEN THE STORE.
WHEN YOU'RE DOWN THERE,
WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR HAT
BLOCKED AND LEAVE YOUR HEAD IN IT!
OH, HELLO, JENNY. COME IN.
GOOD MORNING, MRS. JEFFERSON.
LIONEL, JENNY IS HERE! WOULD
YOU CARE FOR SOME COFFEE?
NO, THANKS. WE'RE GONNA BE LATE
FOR CLASS. GOOD MORNING, SWEETHEART.
LIONEL, YOU'RE NOT EVEN DRESSED. I
FIGURED I'D PASS ON SCHOOL TODAY.
WHAT? WELL, WHY? 'CAUSE.
BECAUSE HE WAS UP ALL NIGHT
BEING THE ♪ LIFE OF THE PARTY ♪♪
YOU REALLY WENT TO THAT
PARTY WITHOUT ME, HUH?
I ASKED YOU. YOU SAID
YOU DIDN'T WANNA GO.
I COULDN'T. WERE THERE
MANY GIRLS THERE?
IT WAS HARD TO TELL. THEY
JUST KEPT JUMPING OUT THE CAKE.
HOW MANY GIRLS?
NEAR AS I COULD FIGURE THERE
WERE SIX GIRLS, FIVE DUDES...
AND ONE THAT COULD'VE
GONE EITHER WAY.
IT WAS FUN. YOU
SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE.
YEAH, WELL, I HAD
TO HIT MY BOOKS.
STAY HOME TODAY. WE'LL HAVE
A LITTLE PARTY OF OUR OWN.
YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T BE
FOOLING AROUND THIS CLOSE TO EXAMS.
WHAT BETTER TIME TO FOOL
AROUND? IT TAKES THE PRESSURE OFF.
I'M SERIOUS. SEE THERE?
YOU'RE ALWAYS SERIOUS.
WHY DON'T YOU
RELAX, HAVE SOME FUN?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ENJOY
LIFE, NOT WORRY ABOUT IT.
WAIT A MINUTE. I DON'T NEED
ANY LECTURES FROM YOU.
I'M ONLY TRYING TO HELP.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY...
ALL WORK AND NO PLAY
MAKES JENNY A DULL GIRL.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY... ALL PLAY
AND NO WORK MAKES LIONEL A DUMMY.
HEY, LOOK, YOU AIN'T GOT
TO GO OFF. HEY, JENNY.
HONEST, LIONEL, CUTTING CLASS LIKE
THIS IS NOT GONNA HELP YOUR GRADES.
HEY, GIRL, WILL YOU STOP BEING
SUCH A DRAG? YOU AIN'T MY MOTHER.
WELL, I'M YOUR MOTHER...
AND I DON'T WANT YOU
SKIPPING SCHOOL TODAY.
LOOK, I HAD A LONG
NIGHT, ALL RIGHT, MOM?
YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DIPLOMA
TO GET. IT'S JUST A PIECE OF PAPER.
IT'S A PIECE OF PAPER THAT NO JEFFERSON
EVER GOT BEFORE, AND YOU ARE GONNA GET ONE.
WHO WAS THAT AT THE DOOR? JENNY.
OH, JENNY, WITH
THE LIGHT, WHITE DAD.
- WAS SHE COMING OR GOING?
- GOING.
- GOOD. THEN I GOTTA
GET DOWN TO WORK.
- WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM HERE.
NOT NOW, WEEZY. I GOTTA GO. BYE.
WELL, THAT'S ONE GOOD THING
I CAN SAY ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
HE'S NEVER TOO BUSY
TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
MOM, WE AIN'T GOT NO PROBLEM. YOUR SON IS
SIMPLY GOING UP IN THE WORLD. THAT'S ALL.
SO DOES A BAGFUL OF HOT AIR.
WHAT YOU GETTING SO MAD ABOUT?
I'M ONLY DOING WHAT POP SAID.
WHAT'S THE GOOD OF BEING
RICH IF YOU'RE GONNA ACT POOR?
GOOD NIGHT, MOM. GOOD
NIGHT? WHAT ABOUT SCHOOL?
WHAT ABOUT IT? YOU ACT LIKE YOU
WANT THAT DEGREE MORE THAN I DO.
I GOT A SPACE ON THE
WALL ALL PICKED OUT FOR IT.
AND WHEN YOU BRING
THAT DIPLOMA HOME,
WE ARE GONNA MOUNT IT,
WE ARE GONNA FRAME IT,
AND IF WE CAN,
WE'LL EVEN STUFF IT.
WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT...
AND DON'T SAY IT, LIONEL.
YOU GOT MY LIFE ALL
PLANNED OUT, DON'T YOU?
WHAT? WHAT'S THE BIG RUSH?
MAYBE I DON'T WANNA
BE AN ENGINEER.
THERE AIN'T NO BIG HURRY TO DECIDE
WHAT I DO WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE.
WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU,
LIONEL? NOTHING. WHY?
YOU'RE FLYING A LITTLE
TOO HIGH, MR. JET SET.
TIME TO COME DOWN TO EARTH. AND I DON'T
WANT YOU SKIPPING SCHOOL ANYMORE EITHER.
THAT JUST COULD BE THE PROBLEM. I'VE BEEN
THINKING ABOUT DROPPING OUT FOR A WHILE.
MAYBE INDEFINITELY. WHAT?
AND THROW AWAY
YOUR WHOLE FUTURE?
NO, I'M NOT. THERE'S A WHOLE
LOT OF THINGS TO DO IN THIS WORLD.
WHO KNOWS WHAT I
COULD BE? WATCH OUT.
YOU MIGHT GO FROM A
"COULD BE" TO A "HAS-BEEN"...
WITHOUT EVER BEING AN "IS."
HOW FAR DO YOU THINK YOU'LL
GET WITHOUT A COLLEGE DEGREE?
WHO KNOWS? THERE'S A LOT OF
OPPORTUNITIES OUT THERE NOW.
I'D JUST LIKE TO TAKE
A SHOT AT IT. AT WHAT?
LIONEL, YOU NEED AN EDUCATION
OUT THERE. YOU NEED BRAINS.
WELL, MAYBE YOU DO
AND MAYBE YOU DON'T.
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
LOOK AT POP. HE MADE IT TO
THE TOP WITHOUT AN EDUCATION.
MATTER OF FACT, HE MADE
IT WITHOUT ANY BRAINS.
OH!
WEEZY! OH!
HEY, WEEZY, YOU'LL
NEVER GUESS WHO CAME...
OH, GOOD. WE'RE HAVING
HANDKERCHIEF STEW TONIGHT.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT DID I DO NOW?
NOTHING. THEN WHY
ARE YOU CRYING?
MY MOTHER WAS HERE TODAY, HUH?
CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME?
THIS SUIT AIN'T DRIP-DRY.
LOUISE!
OH, GEORGE, I HIT HIM.
I HIT LIONEL. WHAT? WHY?
I DON'T KNOW. ONE
MINUTE WE WERE TALKING...
AND THE NEXT MINUTE I
COULDN'T CONTROL MYSELF.
OH, GEORGE, I FEEL TERRIBLE.
OH, COME ON, WEEZY. YOU
KNOW YOU WOULDN'T HURT A FLY.
HE MUST'VE BEEN ASKING FOR
IT. BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I'VE NEVER HIT HIM BEFORE. DOES
THAT MAKE ME A BAD MOTHER?
WELL, DEPENDS ON
WHAT YOU HIT HIM WITH.
ALL THE TIME HE WAS GROWING
UP, I NEVER LAID A HAND ON HIM.
NO. YOU ALWAYS MADE ME DO IT.
OH, GEORGE, I'LL BET
HE HATES ME NOW.
KIDS DON'T HATE THEIR PARENTS
FOR HITTING THEM. LOOK AT ME.
YOU MEAN YOUR
MOTHER HIT YOU? NEVER.
BUT MY FATHER, NOW,
THERE WAS A PUNCHER.
'COURSE HE'D ONLY HIT YOU
WHEN HE HAD A GOOD REASON.
LIKE IF YOU ASKED HIM TO
PASS THE BUTTER. WHACK!
IF YOU SAID "HELLO" WHEN HE WASN'T
READY FOR IT, THAT WAS GOOD FOR TWO SHOTS.
AND ASKING HIM FOR
MONEY... HOO! HOO! HOO! HOO!
INSTANT BLUE CROSS.
AND YOU DIDN'T
HOLD IT AGAINST HIM?
NO. ARE YOU KIDDING?
I LOVED THAT MAN.
I WOULDN'T GET WITHIN TEN
FEET OF HIM, BUT I LOVED HIM.
OH, I STILL SHOULDN'T
HAVE HIT LIONEL.
BUT HE MADE ME SO MAD WHEN HE
STARTED TALKING ABOUT QUITTING SCHOOL.
QUITTING SCHOOL? AND
THAT SUPERIOR ATTITUDE HE...
WAIT. SAY THAT AGAIN.
THAT SUPERIOR ATTITUDE...
NO, NO. THE PART ABOUT QUITTING
SCHOOL. WHO'S QUITTING SCHOOL?
LIONEL. HE WAS TALKING... I'LL
KILL HIM! I'LL TEAR HIM APART!
WHERE THE HELL DID HE GET
THE IDEA OF QUITTING SCHOOL?
FROM YOU? FROM ME?
I TOLD YOU, GEORGE,
IT'S THE MONEY.
IT'S MAKING US ALL DO
THINGS WE NEVER DID BEFORE.
OH, I WISH WE DIDN'T
HAVE IT. LOUISE.
SHE DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
WHERE IS HE? I DON'T KNOW.
HE THREW ON HIS CLOTHES
AND RAN OUT OF THE HOUSE...
AND HE'S BEEN GONE ALL DAY.
I'VE CALLED EVERYWHERE. NOT
EVEN JENNY KNOWS WHERE HE IS.
OH, GEORGE, I'M VERY
WORRIED. WELL, DON'T BE.
WHEREVER HE IS,
HE'S A LOT SAFER...
THAN IF HE WAS TO WALK
THROUGH THAT DOOR RIGHT NOW.
IF I ONLY KNEW WHERE HE
WAS, I WOULD FEEL BETTER.
OH, I SHOULDN'T HAVE HIT HIM.
YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S MY TURN.
NO, GEORGE. NO MORE FIGHTING.
GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE!
I THOUGHT YOU WAS SOMEBODY ELSE.
WON'T MY BUTT DO?
HI, MR. BENTLEY. GOOD
EVENING, MRS. JEFFERSON.
I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
LATE FOR WHAT?
NEW YEAR'S EVE.
YEAH, ABOUT A MONTH.
I'D MEANT TO SHARE THIS WITH
YOU ON THAT HAPPY OCCASION,
BUT SOMETHING
UNEXPECTED CAME UP.
- WHAT WAS IT?
- THE FLOOR. I PASSED OUT.
I WAS DOWN, UH...
I WAS DOWN BEFORE GUY LOMBARDO
EVEN REACHED THE BANDSTAND.
I WAS DOWN BEFORE
THE BALL WAS UP.
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF
SOMETHING, SO IF YOU DON'T MIND...
NOT AT ALL. YOU GO RIGHT
ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
I'LL GO AND OPEN UP THE BUBBLY.
AS MOTHER ALWAYS SAID, "NO
SENSE WASTING A GOOD CHILL."
LOUISE, WILL YOU...
ACTUALLY, MOTHER
COULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT...
- BECAUSE SHE NEVER DRANK.
- BENTLEY!
HOWEVER, SHE DID TAKE A PINCH OF
MY FATHER'S SNUFF NOW AND THEN.
EVERY TIME SHE SNEEZED,
SHE DUSTED AN ENTIRE ROOM.
LOUISE, WILL YOU GET RID
OF HIM. HE'S OUR GUEST.
- HE'S YOUR GUEST.
- LOSE HIM.
OH, JOLLY GOOD.
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT
SOMEWHERE ON THIS EARTH,
THERE'S A WHOLE
COUNTRY FULL OF THEM.
HERE WE ARE THEN. NOTHING LIKE A
DROP OF THE OLD CHAMPAGGERS, EH?
1969 WAS A VERY GOOD YEAR.
NOT FOR NANNY, THOUGH. SHE DIED.
TO NANNY.
OH, DEAR, I'VE ONLY BROUGHT THREE
GLASSES. WILL LIONEL BE WITH US?
NOT FOR LONG.
NO. HE'S OUT FOR THE EVENING.
THAT'S TOO BAD.
NICE FELLOW, LIONEL.
THOUGH I MUST SAY WE HAD THE
STRANGEST CONVERSATION THIS MORNING.
- WHAT WAS STRANGE ABOUT IT?
- I WAS THE ONLY ONE TALKING.
I SAID "GOOD MORNING"
AND HE DIDN'T ANSWER.
SO I TRIED "GOOD-BYE,"
BUT BY THEN HE WAS GONE.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR
THE MOST MARVELOUS JOKE...
THE RUSSIAN AMBASSADOR
TOLD ME TODAY?
WHERE COULD LIONEL BE?
IT SEEMS THIS RUSSIAN
FATHER CAME HOME ONE NIGHT...
AND HE COULDN'T FIND
HIS LITTLE SON ANYWHERE.
SO HE ASKED HIS DISTRAUGHT WIFE
WHERE THE LITTLE FELLOW WAS...
AND SHE REPLIED, WITH
TEARS IN HER EYES...
THAT THE SECRET POLICE HAD
COME AND TAKEN THE BOY AWAY...
TO THE SALT MINES OF SIBERIA.
TO WHICH THE FATHER
REPLIED, "THANK GOODNESS.
FOR A MOMENT I
THOUGHT HE'D RUN AWAY."
STRANGE. IT GOT VERY
BIG LAUGHS IN RUSSIAN.
- WELL, NA ZDAROVYE.
- NICE TO KNOW YOU TOO.
♪
♪ WHAT GOOD IS SITTING ♪
♪ ALONE IN YOUR ROOM ♪
♪ TIME FOR A HOLIDAY ♪
I FIGURED YOU'D BE HERE.
SHH. BIG FINISH COMING UP.
♪ ONLY A CABARET, OLD CHUM ♪
♪ SO COME TO ♪
♪ THE CABARET ♪
YEAH. YEAH.
I'M GONNA TAKE A PAUSE
FOR A WORTHY CAUSE.
HERE YOU GO. THANK YOU, MY MAN.
LET ME HAVE ANOTHER SCOTCH AND
SODA AND A GLASS OF WINE FOR THE LADY.
NO, THANKS, BIG SPENDER.
I FORGOT. YOU'RE ON
DUTY. SCHOOL NIGHT.
NO. I JUST DON'T
DRINK WITH STRANGERS.
SEE, I'M LOOKING FOR A GUY
NAMED LIONEL JEFFERSON.
YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK LIKE
HIM. WELL, I TAKE THAT BACK.
YOU GOT A MUCH BIGGER HEAD.
HA HA.
LIONEL, WHERE YOU BEEN?
YOUR MOTHER'S GOING CRAZY.
I MEAN, SHE'S BEEN
CALLING ALL OVER TOWN.
I'LL CALL HER IN A LITTLE WHILE.
OH, WELL, ALL RIGHT.
AS LONG AS THERE'S NO RUSH, WHY DON'T
YOU DROP HER A POSTCARD IN A DAY OR TWO?
JENNY, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
LIFE IS OPENING UP FOR ME.
I'M GETTING AROUND.
I'M FINDING MYSELF.
BUT YOU'RE LOSING
EVERYTHING ELSE.
YOUR FUTURE, YOUR PLANS, ME.
HEY, JENNY...
YOUR MOTHER SAYS YOU'RE EVEN
THINKING OF DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL.
WHY NOT? YOU KNOW WHAT THEY CALL A
DUDE TODAY WITH AN ENGINEERING DEGREE?
AN UNEMPLOYED ENGINEER.
OKAY, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I DON'T KNOW. HANG
OUT FOR A WHILE.
KIND OF GO WHERE THE WIND BLOWS.
WELL, BE CAREFUL. THAT'S HOW
GARBAGE COLLECTS IN CORNERS.
WILL YOU CUT THAT... LOOK.
NOTHING HAS TO
CHANGE BETWEEN US.
WITH THE PEOPLE I'VE BEEN
MEETING, I'VE GOT IT MADE.
I'M ON MY WAY TO THE TOP.
YOU CAN COME ALONG IF YOU LIKE.
ME? YOU MEAN YOU WANT
LITTLE NOBODY ME UP AT THE TOP?
WELL, I'M SORRY. I WOULDN'T
KNOW WHAT TO WEAR.
YEAH, WELL, SEE, THAT'S
WHY YOU NEED ME AROUND.
THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK. HONEY, IF
YOU'RE GOD'S GIFT TO THE WORLD,
LEAD ME TO THE EXCHANGE COUNTER.
ALL RIGHT. HOW ABOUT IF I
SAY YOU RIGHT AND I'M WRONG?
WILL THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?
ECSTATIC. OKAY.
OKAY, YOU RIGHT AND I'M WRONG.
YOU DELIVERED YOUR MESSAGE, SWEETHEART,
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST RUN ALONG?
WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL?
HEY, PARTNER, CAN I PLAY
SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU?
YEAH, YEAH. HOW ABOUT
"WHAT KIND OF FOOL AM I?"
"THERE IS BUT ONE TASK FOR
ALL, ONE LIFE FOR EACH TO GIVE.
"WHAT STANDS IF FREEDOM FALLS?
WHO DIES IF ENGLAND LIVE?"
OH, DEAR. OH, I'VE
BROKEN INTO POEM.
THAT'S WHEN I KNOW
IT'S TIME TO LEAVE.
DO YOU HAVE TO?
OH, WHAT A SHAME.
I SUPPOSE I COULD DO ONE MORE.
SAVE IT FOR NEXT NEW YEAR'S EVE.
MAMA. HELLO, GEORGE.
"I HAVE EATEN YOUR
BREAD AND SALT.
"I HAVE DRUNK YOUR
WATER AND WINE.
"THE DEATHS YE DIED
I HAVE WATCHED...
AND THE LIVES YE LED WERE MINE."
RUDYARD KIPLING!
MAMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT THIS TIME OF NIGHT?
I'VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT
LIONEL EVER SINCE LOUISE CALLED.
- HAS HE COME HOME YET?
- NO. I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
YOU KNOW, WHEN A BOY
STARTS ACTING DISRESPECTFUL,
THAT MEANS HE
WASN'T RAISED RIGHT.
WHY DON'T YOU SPEAK TO YOUR SON?
I DID, BUT HE GOT
MARRIED ANYWAY.
GEORGE, WILL YOU PLEASE SPEAK TO
YOUR MOTHER 'CAUSE I'M IN NO MOOD FOR...
AND I CERTAINLY WOULDN'T
BE HAVING A PARTY...
IF MY GEORGE HAD BEEN
MISSING A WHOLE DAY.
NO. YOU COULD FIND HIM EASY.
ALL YOU'D HAVE TO DO IS LOOK
AT THE END OF YOUR APRON.
NOW, LISTEN, LOUISE...
I AM SICK AND TIRED...
LIONEL! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
- I DON'T WANNA
TALK ABOUT IT NOW.
- WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT IT NOW.
NO, WE'RE NOT. YES, WE ARE.
YES, WE ARE. YES,
YES, YES, WE ARE!
NO, NO, NO, WE'RE
NOT. LIONEL, ONE,
- YOU'RE GONNA FINISH SCHOOL.
- TWO, POP, WILL YOU
LEAVE ME ALONE.
GEORGE, CAN'T THIS WAIT
UNTIL TOMORROW MORNING?
LIONEL WILL FEEL BETTER THEN. NO WAY.
WE'RE GONNA TALK THIS OUT RIGHT NOW.
BUT HE'S SO UPSET. I'VE
NEVER HIT THE BOY BEFORE.
SHE BEATS HIM TOO?
THAT AIN'T YOUR SPOT, MOM.
THAT'S WHERE JENNY HIT ME.
JENNY BEATS HIM TOO? YEAH.
IT'S GETTING TO BE A BIG
THING AROUND HERE NOWADAYS.
WILL YOU ALL... FOR TONIGHT... WILL
YOU ALL JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE?
NO!
LIONEL, COME BACK HERE. LIONEL,
YOU COME RIGHT BACK HERE!
LIONEL, I NEVER HIT
MY SON IN MY LIFE.
YOUR FATHER'S DADDY HIT HIM.
AMEN TO THAT.
BUT, LIONEL, THE WAY
YOU'RE ACTING TONIGHT,
I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT
TONIGHT. I'M ABOUT TO HIT MY GRANDSON.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET YOU ALL
UPSET, GRANDMA. WHAT A BOY.
MOM, POP, COULD I GET BY
WITHOUT A HASSLE TONIGHT?
I WAS WRONG, ABOUT
SCHOOL AND EVERYTHING.
I'M SORRY, OKAY?
THAT'S MY BOY.
HE'S HALF MINE TOO, YOU KNOW.
HEY, POP.
WELL, I'M GONNA GO
UPSTAIRS AND TALK TO JENNY.
YOU DO THAT, SON.
OH, AND, LIONEL,
WE REALLY ARE VERY PROUD OF YOU.
BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING? IT AIN'T
ALL THAT HARD TO GET TURNED AROUND.
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE
GETTING YOUR BRAINS BEAT OUT.
LOUISE! LOUISE!
MOM, POP, LOOK, I GOT
SOMETHING TO ASK THE TWO OF YOU.
WHAT? I WANT AN HONEST ANSWER...
- 'CAUSE I'M OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW.
- OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT?
ALL RIGHT. I CAUSED
YOU A LOT OF PROBLEMS.
- AND I'M THE ONLY CHILD
YOU EVER HAD.
- YEAH?
HONESTLY NOW, DID YOU REALLY
WANT ME OR WAS I A MISTAKE?
BOTH.
♪♪
♪
THE JEFFERSONS WAS RECORDED ON
TAPE IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT
A PIECE OF THE PIE ♪
♪ FISH DON'T FRY
IN THE KITCHEN ♪
♪ BEANS DON'T
BURN ON THE GRILL ♪
♪ TOOK A WHOLE LOT OF TRYIN' ♪
♪ JUST TO GET UP THAT HILL ♪
♪ NOW WE'RE UP IN
THE BIG LEAGUES ♪
♪ GETTIN' OUR TURN AT BAT ♪
♪ AS LONG AS WE LIVE
IT'S YOU AND ME, BABY ♪
♪ AIN'T NOTHIN'
WRONG WITH THAT ♪
♪ WELL, WE'RE MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO A DELUXE
APARTMENT IN THE SKY ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ TO THE EAST SIDE ♪
♪ MOVIN' ON UP ♪
♪ WE FINALLY GOT A
PIECE OF THE PIE ♪♪
GEORGE!
GEORGE! WHAT?
YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL SO LOUD
THE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.
WELL, NEITHER DO YOU.
WHERE DID YOU PUT MY KEYS?
- I HAVEN'T TOUCHED YOUR KEYS.
- YOU MUST HAVE...
BECAUSE EVERY NIGHT LIKE CLOCKWORK
I PUT 'EM ON TOP OF THE DRESSER,
AND THEY AIN'T THERE NOW.
MAYBE THEY'RE IN YOUR POCKET.
TO GET IN MY POCKET, THEY
GOTTA START OUT ON THE DRESSER.
SINCE THEY AIN'T ON THE
DRESSER, THEY AIN'T IN MY POCKET.
DID YOU LEAVE THEM IN
THE DOOR? ARE YOU CRAZY?
I'M GONNA LEAVE THE KEYS TO FOUR
CLEANING STORES HANGING IN THE HALL.
IN NEW YORK CITY. COME ON,
WEEZY. NOBODY'S THAT STUPID.
- DID YOU FIND THEM?
- NO!
MAYBE THEY'LL SHOW UP AT WORK.
WHERE'S LIONEL? HOW COME
HE AIN'T EATING WITH US?
I LET HIM SLEEP LONGER TODAY.
HE MUST'VE COME HOME REAL LATE
LAST NIGHT. I DIDN'T EVEN HEAR HIM.
UH-HUH.
HE'S BEEN GOING TO A LOT
OF EXPENSIVE PLACES LATELY.
THAT'S NICE.
I'M REALLY WORRIED
ABOUT HIM. THAT'S NICE.
I'M GOING TO ELOPE
WITH PRESIDENT FORD.
THAT'S NICE.
WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME!
LIONEL IS LIVING IT UP LIKE HE WAS
DIAMOND JIM JEFFERSON. SO WHAT?
WE CAN AFFORD IT. I'M GLAD
SOMEBODY AROUND HERE BESIDES ME...
IS FINALLY LEARNING
TO ENJOY THE MONEY.
IS THAT ALL YOU
CARE ABOUT, MONEY?
I CARE ABOUT OTHER THINGS. HOW COME
YOU BROKE BOTH YOLKS THIS MORNING?
I'M TALKING ABOUT OUR SON. HE'S BEEN
GOING OUT EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU, LOUISE. WHAT
DO YOU WANT OUR SON TO GET OUT OF LIFE?
A GOOD TIME OR A BAD TIME?
A GOOD TIME, OF COURSE.
THAT'S WHAT HE'S HAVING. SO
WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT?
BUT TOO MUCH GOOD TIME
COULD LEAD TO A BAD TIME.
YOU KNOW HE'S NEVER
CARRIED ON LIKE THIS BEFORE.
THAT'S BECAUSE WE
NEVER HAD MONEY BEFORE.
JUST GO WAKE HIM UP. HE'S GONNA BE LATE
FOR SCHOOL. YOU'RE WORRYING ABOUT NOTHING.
WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.
♪ JUNGLE BOOGIE DA BA DA DA DA ♪
♪ OH, WITH THE GET DOWN
GET DOWN, GET DOWN ♪♪
- WHAT'S HAPPENIN', MOMS?
- HEY, POP. HEY.
LIONEL, I THOUGHT YOU
WERE STILL SLEEPING.
WHAT TIME DID YOU GET HOME
LAST NIGHT? WHAT TIME IS IT NOW?
7:30.7:30.
YOU MEAN YOU'RE JUST GETTING IN?
- HEY, IT WAS A GOOD PARTY, MOM.
- MUST'VE BEEN
A DAMN GOOD PARTY.
DON'T YOU HAVE NO
CONSIDERATION FOR YOUR MOTHER?
STAYING OUT ALL NIGHT. HEY, MOM,
YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I WAS OUT.
WELL, IF I'D HAVE KNOWN, I
WOULD'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK.
OKAY, NEXT TIME I'LL TELL
YOU SO YOU CAN WORRY.
DON'T BE GETTING SMART WITH YOUR
MOTHER. WHAT CAN A 22-YEAR-OLD DO...
AT A PARTY UNTIL
7:30 IN THE MORNING?
SAME AS A 45-YEAR-OLD,
EXCEPT HE DOESN'T GET AS TIRED.
GEORGE, SPEAK TO YOUR SON.
ALL RIGHT. LISTEN, LIONEL...
POP, IF IT BOTHERS YOU, I WON'T GO TO
ANY MORE ALL-NIGHT PARTIES, ALL RIGHT?
GOOD. SEE THAT'S
ALL YOU GOTTA DO.
TOO BAD, THOUGH. I WAS JUST GETTING
TO KNOW CLARENCE JACKSON THE THIRD.
THE CLARENCE JACKSON THE THIRD?
- MM-HMM.
- CLARENCE JACKSON III,
WHERE THE FIRST AND SECOND
OWN A CHAIN OF FIVE AND TENS?
- YEAH, HE WAS AT THE PARTY.
- OOH! WEEZY, HIS FAMILY
IS SO RICH,
THEY GOT WHITE MAIDS JUST TO
PICK UP AFTER THE BLACK MAIDS.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT
THE DUDE IS A REAL JAZZ FREAK.
I TOLD HIM ABOUT A COUPLE OF PLACES
IN THE VILLAGE HE'D NEVER HEARD OF.
AND WE WAS REALLY GETTING TIGHT.
HE WAS HANGING ON EVERY WORD I SAID.
HEY, POP, I WAS ♪ THE
LIFE OF THE PARTY ♪♪
CLARENCE JACKSON III. WHAT DO YOU
KNOW, WEEZY, THE JEFFERSONS DONE ARRIVED.
AND DIG ON THIS. CLARENCE,
WE CALL HIM "THREE" FOR SHORT.
HE'S AN ALL RIGHT DUDE. AND I USED
TO THINK PEOPLE LIKE THAT WERE SNOBS.
DON'T LET ME HEAR YOU TALKING LIKE
THAT. "SNOB" IS A POOR MAN'S WORD.
WHEN YOU GET RICH, THERE
ARE NO SNOBS. YOU KNOW WHY?
WHY?
'CAUSE WHEN YOU GOT MONEY,
YOU'RE BETTER THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.
DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE
WHAT YOU JUST SAID?
NO, BUT THERE'S GOT TO BE
SOMETHING TO IT 'CAUSE I SAID IT.
YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T
UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS.
YOU'RE MAKING THE RIGHT CONTACTS
AND MEETING THE RIGHT PEOPLE.
COULDN'T HURT. LATER, POP.
♪ LIFE OF THE PARTY ♪
♪♪
HOW ABOUT THAT? MY SON IS
FRIENDS WITH A MILLIONAIRE.
AND YOUR WIFE IS
MARRIED TO AN IDIOT.
WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM
NOW, WOMAN? YOU.
YOU CAN'T SEE FURTHER THAN
THEM DOLLAR SIGNS IN YOUR EYES.
AND LOOK WHAT IT'S DOING TO
LIONEL. WHAT'S IT DOING TO HIM?
WE DIDN'T RAISE OUR
SON TO BE A PLAYBOY.
EVEN GRANDPA WALTON
IS A PLAYBOY TO YOU.
THE NAME JEFFERSON IS GONNA MEAN SOMETHING
IN THIS TOWN. WE'RE ON OUR WAY UP.
WELL, DON'T FORGET WHERE
YOU CAME FROM, J. PAUL GHETTO.
WATCH IT, LOUISE.
NOW THAT WE'RE IN THE CHIPS, WE'RE
GONNA HAVE TO ALL MAKE NEW FRIENDS.
AND WE CAN PICK 'EM FROM
THE CREAM OF THE CROP.
THERE'S A SWITCH.
THREE GENERATIONS AGO, THE ONLY CROP
THE JEFFERSONS WERE PICKING WAS COTTON.
WELL, I GOT WISE. YOU CAN MAKE A HELL
OF A LOT MORE MONEY OUT OF COTTON...
WHEN YOU'RE CLEANING
IT AND PRESSING IT.
GEORGE, YOU'RE GIVING OUR
SON ALL THE WRONG VALUES.
YOU DON'T KNOW THIS CLARENCE
JACKSON HE'S MIXING WITH.
IT DON'T MATTER. HE'S RICH. I
DON'T WANT MONEY TO RUIN LIONEL.
DON'T WORRY. IT
WON'T. DID IT RUIN ME?
I GOTTA GET DRESSED
AND OPEN THE STORE.
WHEN YOU'RE DOWN THERE,
WHY DON'T YOU GET YOUR HAT
BLOCKED AND LEAVE YOUR HEAD IN IT!
OH, HELLO, JENNY. COME IN.
GOOD MORNING, MRS. JEFFERSON.
LIONEL, JENNY IS HERE! WOULD
YOU CARE FOR SOME COFFEE?
NO, THANKS. WE'RE GONNA BE LATE
FOR CLASS. GOOD MORNING, SWEETHEART.
LIONEL, YOU'RE NOT EVEN DRESSED. I
FIGURED I'D PASS ON SCHOOL TODAY.
WHAT? WELL, WHY? 'CAUSE.
BECAUSE HE WAS UP ALL NIGHT
BEING THE ♪ LIFE OF THE PARTY ♪♪
YOU REALLY WENT TO THAT
PARTY WITHOUT ME, HUH?
I ASKED YOU. YOU SAID
YOU DIDN'T WANNA GO.
I COULDN'T. WERE THERE
MANY GIRLS THERE?
IT WAS HARD TO TELL. THEY
JUST KEPT JUMPING OUT THE CAKE.
HOW MANY GIRLS?
NEAR AS I COULD FIGURE THERE
WERE SIX GIRLS, FIVE DUDES...
AND ONE THAT COULD'VE
GONE EITHER WAY.
IT WAS FUN. YOU
SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE.
YEAH, WELL, I HAD
TO HIT MY BOOKS.
STAY HOME TODAY. WE'LL HAVE
A LITTLE PARTY OF OUR OWN.
YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T BE
FOOLING AROUND THIS CLOSE TO EXAMS.
WHAT BETTER TIME TO FOOL
AROUND? IT TAKES THE PRESSURE OFF.
I'M SERIOUS. SEE THERE?
YOU'RE ALWAYS SERIOUS.
WHY DON'T YOU
RELAX, HAVE SOME FUN?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ENJOY
LIFE, NOT WORRY ABOUT IT.
WAIT A MINUTE. I DON'T NEED
ANY LECTURES FROM YOU.
I'M ONLY TRYING TO HELP.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY...
ALL WORK AND NO PLAY
MAKES JENNY A DULL GIRL.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY... ALL PLAY
AND NO WORK MAKES LIONEL A DUMMY.
HEY, LOOK, YOU AIN'T GOT
TO GO OFF. HEY, JENNY.
HONEST, LIONEL, CUTTING CLASS LIKE
THIS IS NOT GONNA HELP YOUR GRADES.
HEY, GIRL, WILL YOU STOP BEING
SUCH A DRAG? YOU AIN'T MY MOTHER.
WELL, I'M YOUR MOTHER...
AND I DON'T WANT YOU
SKIPPING SCHOOL TODAY.
LOOK, I HAD A LONG
NIGHT, ALL RIGHT, MOM?
YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DIPLOMA
TO GET. IT'S JUST A PIECE OF PAPER.
IT'S A PIECE OF PAPER THAT NO JEFFERSON
EVER GOT BEFORE, AND YOU ARE GONNA GET ONE.
WHO WAS THAT AT THE DOOR? JENNY.
OH, JENNY, WITH
THE LIGHT, WHITE DAD.
- WAS SHE COMING OR GOING?
- GOING.
- GOOD. THEN I GOTTA
GET DOWN TO WORK.
- WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM HERE.
NOT NOW, WEEZY. I GOTTA GO. BYE.
WELL, THAT'S ONE GOOD THING
I CAN SAY ABOUT YOUR FATHER.
HE'S NEVER TOO BUSY
TO SAY GOOD-BYE.
MOM, WE AIN'T GOT NO PROBLEM. YOUR SON IS
SIMPLY GOING UP IN THE WORLD. THAT'S ALL.
SO DOES A BAGFUL OF HOT AIR.
WHAT YOU GETTING SO MAD ABOUT?
I'M ONLY DOING WHAT POP SAID.
WHAT'S THE GOOD OF BEING
RICH IF YOU'RE GONNA ACT POOR?
GOOD NIGHT, MOM. GOOD
NIGHT? WHAT ABOUT SCHOOL?
WHAT ABOUT IT? YOU ACT LIKE YOU
WANT THAT DEGREE MORE THAN I DO.
I GOT A SPACE ON THE
WALL ALL PICKED OUT FOR IT.
AND WHEN YOU BRING
THAT DIPLOMA HOME,
WE ARE GONNA MOUNT IT,
WE ARE GONNA FRAME IT,
AND IF WE CAN,
WE'LL EVEN STUFF IT.
WELL, AS A MATTER OF FACT...
AND DON'T SAY IT, LIONEL.
YOU GOT MY LIFE ALL
PLANNED OUT, DON'T YOU?
WHAT? WHAT'S THE BIG RUSH?
MAYBE I DON'T WANNA
BE AN ENGINEER.
THERE AIN'T NO BIG HURRY TO DECIDE
WHAT I DO WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE.
WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU,
LIONEL? NOTHING. WHY?
YOU'RE FLYING A LITTLE
TOO HIGH, MR. JET SET.
TIME TO COME DOWN TO EARTH. AND I DON'T
WANT YOU SKIPPING SCHOOL ANYMORE EITHER.
THAT JUST COULD BE THE PROBLEM. I'VE BEEN
THINKING ABOUT DROPPING OUT FOR A WHILE.
MAYBE INDEFINITELY. WHAT?
AND THROW AWAY
YOUR WHOLE FUTURE?
NO, I'M NOT. THERE'S A WHOLE
LOT OF THINGS TO DO IN THIS WORLD.
WHO KNOWS WHAT I
COULD BE? WATCH OUT.
YOU MIGHT GO FROM A
"COULD BE" TO A "HAS-BEEN"...
WITHOUT EVER BEING AN "IS."
HOW FAR DO YOU THINK YOU'LL
GET WITHOUT A COLLEGE DEGREE?
WHO KNOWS? THERE'S A LOT OF
OPPORTUNITIES OUT THERE NOW.
I'D JUST LIKE TO TAKE
A SHOT AT IT. AT WHAT?
LIONEL, YOU NEED AN EDUCATION
OUT THERE. YOU NEED BRAINS.
WELL, MAYBE YOU DO
AND MAYBE YOU DON'T.
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
LOOK AT POP. HE MADE IT TO
THE TOP WITHOUT AN EDUCATION.
MATTER OF FACT, HE MADE
IT WITHOUT ANY BRAINS.
OH!
WEEZY! OH!
HEY, WEEZY, YOU'LL
NEVER GUESS WHO CAME...
OH, GOOD. WE'RE HAVING
HANDKERCHIEF STEW TONIGHT.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
WHAT DID I DO NOW?
NOTHING. THEN WHY
ARE YOU CRYING?
MY MOTHER WAS HERE TODAY, HUH?
CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME?
THIS SUIT AIN'T DRIP-DRY.
LOUISE!
OH, GEORGE, I HIT HIM.
I HIT LIONEL. WHAT? WHY?
I DON'T KNOW. ONE
MINUTE WE WERE TALKING...
AND THE NEXT MINUTE I
COULDN'T CONTROL MYSELF.
OH, GEORGE, I FEEL TERRIBLE.
OH, COME ON, WEEZY. YOU
KNOW YOU WOULDN'T HURT A FLY.
HE MUST'VE BEEN ASKING FOR
IT. BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I'VE NEVER HIT HIM BEFORE. DOES
THAT MAKE ME A BAD MOTHER?
WELL, DEPENDS ON
WHAT YOU HIT HIM WITH.
ALL THE TIME HE WAS GROWING
UP, I NEVER LAID A HAND ON HIM.
NO. YOU ALWAYS MADE ME DO IT.
OH, GEORGE, I'LL BET
HE HATES ME NOW.
KIDS DON'T HATE THEIR PARENTS
FOR HITTING THEM. LOOK AT ME.
YOU MEAN YOUR
MOTHER HIT YOU? NEVER.
BUT MY FATHER, NOW,
THERE WAS A PUNCHER.
'COURSE HE'D ONLY HIT YOU
WHEN HE HAD A GOOD REASON.
LIKE IF YOU ASKED HIM TO
PASS THE BUTTER. WHACK!
IF YOU SAID "HELLO" WHEN HE WASN'T
READY FOR IT, THAT WAS GOOD FOR TWO SHOTS.
AND ASKING HIM FOR
MONEY... HOO! HOO! HOO! HOO!
INSTANT BLUE CROSS.
AND YOU DIDN'T
HOLD IT AGAINST HIM?
NO. ARE YOU KIDDING?
I LOVED THAT MAN.
I WOULDN'T GET WITHIN TEN
FEET OF HIM, BUT I LOVED HIM.
OH, I STILL SHOULDN'T
HAVE HIT LIONEL.
BUT HE MADE ME SO MAD WHEN HE
STARTED TALKING ABOUT QUITTING SCHOOL.
QUITTING SCHOOL? AND
THAT SUPERIOR ATTITUDE HE...
WAIT. SAY THAT AGAIN.
THAT SUPERIOR ATTITUDE...
NO, NO. THE PART ABOUT QUITTING
SCHOOL. WHO'S QUITTING SCHOOL?
LIONEL. HE WAS TALKING... I'LL
KILL HIM! I'LL TEAR HIM APART!
WHERE THE HELL DID HE GET
THE IDEA OF QUITTING SCHOOL?
FROM YOU? FROM ME?
I TOLD YOU, GEORGE,
IT'S THE MONEY.
IT'S MAKING US ALL DO
THINGS WE NEVER DID BEFORE.
OH, I WISH WE DIDN'T
HAVE IT. LOUISE.
SHE DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
WHERE IS HE? I DON'T KNOW.
HE THREW ON HIS CLOTHES
AND RAN OUT OF THE HOUSE...
AND HE'S BEEN GONE ALL DAY.
I'VE CALLED EVERYWHERE. NOT
EVEN JENNY KNOWS WHERE HE IS.
OH, GEORGE, I'M VERY
WORRIED. WELL, DON'T BE.
WHEREVER HE IS,
HE'S A LOT SAFER...
THAN IF HE WAS TO WALK
THROUGH THAT DOOR RIGHT NOW.
IF I ONLY KNEW WHERE HE
WAS, I WOULD FEEL BETTER.
OH, I SHOULDN'T HAVE HIT HIM.
YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S MY TURN.
NO, GEORGE. NO MORE FIGHTING.
GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE!
I THOUGHT YOU WAS SOMEBODY ELSE.
WON'T MY BUTT DO?
HI, MR. BENTLEY. GOOD
EVENING, MRS. JEFFERSON.
I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
LATE FOR WHAT?
NEW YEAR'S EVE.
YEAH, ABOUT A MONTH.
I'D MEANT TO SHARE THIS WITH
YOU ON THAT HAPPY OCCASION,
BUT SOMETHING
UNEXPECTED CAME UP.
- WHAT WAS IT?
- THE FLOOR. I PASSED OUT.
I WAS DOWN, UH...
I WAS DOWN BEFORE GUY LOMBARDO
EVEN REACHED THE BANDSTAND.
I WAS DOWN BEFORE
THE BALL WAS UP.
WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF
SOMETHING, SO IF YOU DON'T MIND...
NOT AT ALL. YOU GO RIGHT
ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
I'LL GO AND OPEN UP THE BUBBLY.
AS MOTHER ALWAYS SAID, "NO
SENSE WASTING A GOOD CHILL."
LOUISE, WILL YOU...
ACTUALLY, MOTHER
COULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT...
- BECAUSE SHE NEVER DRANK.
- BENTLEY!
HOWEVER, SHE DID TAKE A PINCH OF
MY FATHER'S SNUFF NOW AND THEN.
EVERY TIME SHE SNEEZED,
SHE DUSTED AN ENTIRE ROOM.
LOUISE, WILL YOU GET RID
OF HIM. HE'S OUR GUEST.
- HE'S YOUR GUEST.
- LOSE HIM.
OH, JOLLY GOOD.
IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT
SOMEWHERE ON THIS EARTH,
THERE'S A WHOLE
COUNTRY FULL OF THEM.
HERE WE ARE THEN. NOTHING LIKE A
DROP OF THE OLD CHAMPAGGERS, EH?
1969 WAS A VERY GOOD YEAR.
NOT FOR NANNY, THOUGH. SHE DIED.
TO NANNY.
OH, DEAR, I'VE ONLY BROUGHT THREE
GLASSES. WILL LIONEL BE WITH US?
NOT FOR LONG.
NO. HE'S OUT FOR THE EVENING.
THAT'S TOO BAD.
NICE FELLOW, LIONEL.
THOUGH I MUST SAY WE HAD THE
STRANGEST CONVERSATION THIS MORNING.
- WHAT WAS STRANGE ABOUT IT?
- I WAS THE ONLY ONE TALKING.
I SAID "GOOD MORNING"
AND HE DIDN'T ANSWER.
SO I TRIED "GOOD-BYE,"
BUT BY THEN HE WAS GONE.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR
THE MOST MARVELOUS JOKE...
THE RUSSIAN AMBASSADOR
TOLD ME TODAY?
WHERE COULD LIONEL BE?
IT SEEMS THIS RUSSIAN
FATHER CAME HOME ONE NIGHT...
AND HE COULDN'T FIND
HIS LITTLE SON ANYWHERE.
SO HE ASKED HIS DISTRAUGHT WIFE
WHERE THE LITTLE FELLOW WAS...
AND SHE REPLIED, WITH
TEARS IN HER EYES...
THAT THE SECRET POLICE HAD
COME AND TAKEN THE BOY AWAY...
TO THE SALT MINES OF SIBERIA.
TO WHICH THE FATHER
REPLIED, "THANK GOODNESS.
FOR A MOMENT I
THOUGHT HE'D RUN AWAY."
STRANGE. IT GOT VERY
BIG LAUGHS IN RUSSIAN.
- WELL, NA ZDAROVYE.
- NICE TO KNOW YOU TOO.
♪
♪ WHAT GOOD IS SITTING ♪
♪ ALONE IN YOUR ROOM ♪
♪ TIME FOR A HOLIDAY ♪
I FIGURED YOU'D BE HERE.
SHH. BIG FINISH COMING UP.
♪ ONLY A CABARET, OLD CHUM ♪
♪ SO COME TO ♪
♪ THE CABARET ♪
YEAH. YEAH.
I'M GONNA TAKE A PAUSE
FOR A WORTHY CAUSE.
HERE YOU GO. THANK YOU, MY MAN.
LET ME HAVE ANOTHER SCOTCH AND
SODA AND A GLASS OF WINE FOR THE LADY.
NO, THANKS, BIG SPENDER.
I FORGOT. YOU'RE ON
DUTY. SCHOOL NIGHT.
NO. I JUST DON'T
DRINK WITH STRANGERS.
SEE, I'M LOOKING FOR A GUY
NAMED LIONEL JEFFERSON.
YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK LIKE
HIM. WELL, I TAKE THAT BACK.
YOU GOT A MUCH BIGGER HEAD.
HA HA.
LIONEL, WHERE YOU BEEN?
YOUR MOTHER'S GOING CRAZY.
I MEAN, SHE'S BEEN
CALLING ALL OVER TOWN.
I'LL CALL HER IN A LITTLE WHILE.
OH, WELL, ALL RIGHT.
AS LONG AS THERE'S NO RUSH, WHY DON'T
YOU DROP HER A POSTCARD IN A DAY OR TWO?
JENNY, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?
LIFE IS OPENING UP FOR ME.
I'M GETTING AROUND.
I'M FINDING MYSELF.
BUT YOU'RE LOSING
EVERYTHING ELSE.
YOUR FUTURE, YOUR PLANS, ME.
HEY, JENNY...
YOUR MOTHER SAYS YOU'RE EVEN
THINKING OF DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL.
WHY NOT? YOU KNOW WHAT THEY CALL A
DUDE TODAY WITH AN ENGINEERING DEGREE?
AN UNEMPLOYED ENGINEER.
OKAY, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
I DON'T KNOW. HANG
OUT FOR A WHILE.
KIND OF GO WHERE THE WIND BLOWS.
WELL, BE CAREFUL. THAT'S HOW
GARBAGE COLLECTS IN CORNERS.
WILL YOU CUT THAT... LOOK.
NOTHING HAS TO
CHANGE BETWEEN US.
WITH THE PEOPLE I'VE BEEN
MEETING, I'VE GOT IT MADE.
I'M ON MY WAY TO THE TOP.
YOU CAN COME ALONG IF YOU LIKE.
ME? YOU MEAN YOU WANT
LITTLE NOBODY ME UP AT THE TOP?
WELL, I'M SORRY. I WOULDN'T
KNOW WHAT TO WEAR.
YEAH, WELL, SEE, THAT'S
WHY YOU NEED ME AROUND.
THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK. HONEY, IF
YOU'RE GOD'S GIFT TO THE WORLD,
LEAD ME TO THE EXCHANGE COUNTER.
ALL RIGHT. HOW ABOUT IF I
SAY YOU RIGHT AND I'M WRONG?
WILL THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY?
ECSTATIC. OKAY.
OKAY, YOU RIGHT AND I'M WRONG.
YOU DELIVERED YOUR MESSAGE, SWEETHEART,
SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST RUN ALONG?
WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL?
HEY, PARTNER, CAN I PLAY
SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU?
YEAH, YEAH. HOW ABOUT
"WHAT KIND OF FOOL AM I?"
"THERE IS BUT ONE TASK FOR
ALL, ONE LIFE FOR EACH TO GIVE.
"WHAT STANDS IF FREEDOM FALLS?
WHO DIES IF ENGLAND LIVE?"
OH, DEAR. OH, I'VE
BROKEN INTO POEM.
THAT'S WHEN I KNOW
IT'S TIME TO LEAVE.
DO YOU HAVE TO?
OH, WHAT A SHAME.
I SUPPOSE I COULD DO ONE MORE.
SAVE IT FOR NEXT NEW YEAR'S EVE.
MAMA. HELLO, GEORGE.
"I HAVE EATEN YOUR
BREAD AND SALT.
"I HAVE DRUNK YOUR
WATER AND WINE.
"THE DEATHS YE DIED
I HAVE WATCHED...
AND THE LIVES YE LED WERE MINE."
RUDYARD KIPLING!
MAMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT THIS TIME OF NIGHT?
I'VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT
LIONEL EVER SINCE LOUISE CALLED.
- HAS HE COME HOME YET?
- NO. I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
YOU KNOW, WHEN A BOY
STARTS ACTING DISRESPECTFUL,
THAT MEANS HE
WASN'T RAISED RIGHT.
WHY DON'T YOU SPEAK TO YOUR SON?
I DID, BUT HE GOT
MARRIED ANYWAY.
GEORGE, WILL YOU PLEASE SPEAK TO
YOUR MOTHER 'CAUSE I'M IN NO MOOD FOR...
AND I CERTAINLY WOULDN'T
BE HAVING A PARTY...
IF MY GEORGE HAD BEEN
MISSING A WHOLE DAY.
NO. YOU COULD FIND HIM EASY.
ALL YOU'D HAVE TO DO IS LOOK
AT THE END OF YOUR APRON.
NOW, LISTEN, LOUISE...
I AM SICK AND TIRED...
LIONEL! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
- I DON'T WANNA
TALK ABOUT IT NOW.
- WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT IT NOW.
NO, WE'RE NOT. YES, WE ARE.
YES, WE ARE. YES,
YES, YES, WE ARE!
NO, NO, NO, WE'RE
NOT. LIONEL, ONE,
- YOU'RE GONNA FINISH SCHOOL.
- TWO, POP, WILL YOU
LEAVE ME ALONE.
GEORGE, CAN'T THIS WAIT
UNTIL TOMORROW MORNING?
LIONEL WILL FEEL BETTER THEN. NO WAY.
WE'RE GONNA TALK THIS OUT RIGHT NOW.
BUT HE'S SO UPSET. I'VE
NEVER HIT THE BOY BEFORE.
SHE BEATS HIM TOO?
THAT AIN'T YOUR SPOT, MOM.
THAT'S WHERE JENNY HIT ME.
JENNY BEATS HIM TOO? YEAH.
IT'S GETTING TO BE A BIG
THING AROUND HERE NOWADAYS.
WILL YOU ALL... FOR TONIGHT... WILL
YOU ALL JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE?
NO!
LIONEL, COME BACK HERE. LIONEL,
YOU COME RIGHT BACK HERE!
LIONEL, I NEVER HIT
MY SON IN MY LIFE.
YOUR FATHER'S DADDY HIT HIM.
AMEN TO THAT.
BUT, LIONEL, THE WAY
YOU'RE ACTING TONIGHT,
I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT
TONIGHT. I'M ABOUT TO HIT MY GRANDSON.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO GET YOU ALL
UPSET, GRANDMA. WHAT A BOY.
MOM, POP, COULD I GET BY
WITHOUT A HASSLE TONIGHT?
I WAS WRONG, ABOUT
SCHOOL AND EVERYTHING.
I'M SORRY, OKAY?
THAT'S MY BOY.
HE'S HALF MINE TOO, YOU KNOW.
HEY, POP.
WELL, I'M GONNA GO
UPSTAIRS AND TALK TO JENNY.
YOU DO THAT, SON.
OH, AND, LIONEL,
WE REALLY ARE VERY PROUD OF YOU.
BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING? IT AIN'T
ALL THAT HARD TO GET TURNED AROUND.
ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE
GETTING YOUR BRAINS BEAT OUT.
LOUISE! LOUISE!
MOM, POP, LOOK, I GOT
SOMETHING TO ASK THE TWO OF YOU.
WHAT? I WANT AN HONEST ANSWER...
- 'CAUSE I'M OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW.
- OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT?
ALL RIGHT. I CAUSED
YOU A LOT OF PROBLEMS.
- AND I'M THE ONLY CHILD
YOU EVER HAD.
- YEAH?
HONESTLY NOW, DID YOU REALLY
WANT ME OR WAS I A MISTAKE?
BOTH.
♪♪
♪
THE JEFFERSONS WAS RECORDED ON
TAPE IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.