The Horror of Dolores Roach (2023): Season 1, Episode 7 - Bye, Felicia - full transcript

Dolores prepares to run.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
So, where we meeting 'em?

Kane 'n Abel's Pizza.

A few blocks from here.

I checked 'em out
after the Gideon thing.

- Mm-hmm.
- Get this, they use duck fat

in their crust.

Yo, I know, right?

We got to check them out 'cause
maybe I can do the same thing

- with the fuck fat in my dough.
- With the what?

You know, dead Fatfuck's fat.

- Not duck fat, fuck fat.
- Okay, shut up.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Why is everything
a fucking joke to you?

It's not a joke.

It's, like, a genius idea.

Gives all my crust
that special flavor,

even the vegetarian.

We're supposed to be getting
out, all right? Not...

And that's what we're gonna do,

but we're not gonna do it
tonight, you know, I thought...

I thought he was
gonna bring the check

- when we met them for pizza?
- He is, he is,

but I got to use up
all that meat we got.

That you got me.

Then, we'll be gone.

Mami, chill.

Cálmate, okay?

Pretty soon we're gonna be
in our very own

little witness
protection situation.

Poof. We're gone.

Like Dominic.

Yo, Dolores.

Oh, hey, Jeremiah.
Hi. What's up? How you doing?

I ain't blinking, man.
Move on.

Oh, Jeremiah, get my order?

Back to the usual count
of pork butt,

short rib, chicken thighs.

- We Gucci?
- Oh, we Gucci. We real Gucci.

But what is "goodness"
but salvation

which comes
in stratiform clouds?

- Because...
- All right, Jeremiah, we got to go.

what are stratiform clouds

other than a proof
of our existence in the sky?

Which means we are all

each everywhere.

- All right, that's cool. Bye.
- Cool.

- Bye.
- Have a good one.

Bye, Jeremiah.

He knows, Luis. I told you, man.

Look, no one's gonna
believe him.

The dude's more nuts than
a Bellevue full of squirrels.

Yeah, but we're about two
minutes away from somebody

who isn't fucking nuts
figuring it out,

- so don't get cocky.
- I'm not.

Hey, D. It's giving double date.

It's giving double date.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Look at my hair.

Don't we look cute?
Take a picture.

But nothing
about your empanadas,

the-the artisanal qualities,

your personal flair,
the subtleties,

none of that will change.

Okay? I-I believe craftsmanship

and profit can coexist.

Hmm, he is so smart, isn't he?

And in the meantime...

Listen, I'm a,
I'm a little short,

but I cashed out
my life savings, okay?

That's a five percent
down payment.

Whoa, whoa, bro, 15K?
I thought we said 300.

- I know, I know...
- What, you think my legacy

- is worth $15,000?
- 15K is your life savings?

Wait, he can explain.

Look, The-The
Property Group funds

are all in my dad's name.

Bro, I used to smoke up
with kids like you

in Greenpoint
all the time, papa.

You ain't got, like, a trust?


Well, I haven't heard
from my dad since last week...

It's been so upsetting.

I-I need
both my parents to sign off

on accessing my trust.

Just forge the signature.

I can't forge a signature
for-for this kind of withdrawal.

I mean, it involves
fingerprints, a notary.

- A notary, Luis.
- Yeah.

Hey, I-I got this, guys, okay?

- It's my mom's card.
- Ooh.

- Great, thanks.
- So, wait, wait, wait,

we just got to wait

for your dad

to resurface?

I mean, I...

I can't get you
more than this until he does.

But, look, my lawyers

are gonna have to draw up
the contract anyway,

and-and they don't work for me,
they work for him.

We can't wait for you.

I can't wait for your lawyer
or your dad.

- What's the rush? If we just...
- Do you know how painful

this is for me?

It's like selling
a part of myself, man.

And, I mean, I want to do it.
I want to grow the business,

like we talked about,

but if we got to string this
along, then...

Nah, man.


No, forget it.

But there's nothing else
I can do.

What about the rent?

Well, the-the rent will
be absorbed into the buyout.

No, I mean,
while your dad's gone,

somebody's collecting rent
on all your properties, right?

- Of course, yeah.
- All right, so who's in control of that?

- Right now, me.
- He's the boss with the sauce.

Okay, so just

pay this from the rent,
and then,

when your dad gets back,
reimburse him from your trust.

That's a great idea, D.

Use the-the gross rent revenues?

- Yeah.
- Um...

That-That's not really
technically available to me.

I just, I just handle it.

Okay, I got to be honest, Jonah,

either we close
this deal tonight,

or we look for another buyer
now that there's interest.

You decide.

Look, I-I'd have to wait
till first of the month.

- That's when the rents are due.
- We can do that.

- End of the week. We can wait for that.
- Yeah, that's cool.

- Okay.
- Yes.

Okay, deal. Um...
You'll have the money

by E.O.D. on the first.

Cashier's check.

Yes, yes,
cashier's check.

To Empanada Loca and its legacy.


This shit
is good, Luis.

You really grew this yourself?

Yeah, kinda.

'Cause I figure it's all
gonna be federally legal

in like five seconds anyway,

and no one deserves
to profit off it

- more than you.
- I don't get it.

If you got it covered up,
why not just grow it inside?

'Cause it's not legal yet,
D, you know.

I can't have that kind
of incriminating shit

inside my fucking apartment.

Oh, but you got chopped-up
bodies downstairs.

You draw the line there?



we are gonna take that
Pearlman money...

and we gonna buy ourselves
a little casita

in Vermont.

No, no, no, Luis, not Vermont.

Isn't it, like, 95% white?

Right? I thought you said
we were gonna blend in

like witness protection,
that's what you said.

All right, all right,
not Vermont.

I don't want
Lyme disease anyway.


Oh... Colorado.

We can grow some weed,
open up a dispensary

and a spa in the middle
of a strip mall

between a Kohl's
and a church. Fresh start.

Who do you want to be
in your new life?

I've been thinking about
what I want my name to be.

Uh... Felicia.

Okay, you want your name
to be Felicia,

- that's weird, but okay.
- No, no, no, no, you gonna be Felicia.

- What?
- See, look. Check it out.

Listen. Ohio still
laminates their licenses.

I made these this morning.

This is how we're gonna open up
the new account.

Dolores is a beautiful name,
but it means sorrow.

And I can't have you
sad no more.

Felicia means happy.

- You really had to use my mugshot?
- Mm.

Everything that girl
wanted 16 years ago...

Yeah, super fucking naive.
Jesus, I don't want to see this.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- No, take it.

No, no, no, no,
'cause now she gonna get it all.

You deserve...

a real nice, happy life,
Felicia Rocha.

He's an idiot,
but I believe him.

Who you gonna be?

Check it out.

What the fuck, man?

What kind of stupid-ass name
is Hector Pector, you idiot?

- That's Fatfuck's name.
- No, it isn't.

Yes, it is.
It was on his license.

- No, it isn't.
- Yeah, all I do

- is change the picture.
- Okay, but you don't even know

- if he has a-a record...
- Damn, mami.

...or a warrant out
for his arrest.

I can't do anything right
with you.

Well, apparently, you cannot.

This a stupid-ass fucking name.

No, no, listen, listen, listen.

I'm not gonna let you push me
away no more, okay?

And I know you trying
to do that because

you've been hurt. Hmm?

Okay, I didn't go to college
or nothing like that,

but I love you. Hmm?

I love you.

And I'm not going
anywhere, except

on a Greyhound bus to Colorado
with my girl Felicia.

Dolores, help! Luis!

- There's so much blood!
- What was that?

What the hell?

- That had better be a sea lion.
- Nellie, we're here.

Okay. Oh, God.

Oh, my God, what happened?

- Uh...
- I fell.

- I'm gonna call 911.
- Ugh.

I was drawing the bath,
and all of a sudden there's

greasy blood pumping
out of the drain.

I think I dislocated my leg.

Wait, that's-that's
not your blood?

You think
I'd still be alive if I bled out

like this? It's those
freaking pipes. You...

you don't fix nothing
in this house.

You take the money, and you...

Doña Sophia, it's fine.
Just relax, just relax.

The same thing has been
happening in my bathroom

all morning. I've called your
office... oh, I don't know...

- ten times.
- Blood in the pipes?


- You know what? I'm calling 311.
I know my tenants' rights. - No, no, no.

Please, please, don't do that.

I'll-I'll-I'll take care of it.

No, no, check it out.
I-I know a bunch

of plumbing shit when my dad
was super here.

You know, let me take care of it
before you make that call.

- Okay.
- Thanks, bud.

Uh, no problem.

They're coming, girl,
they're coming, they're coming.

No, no, they steal my things.

- Uh, what things?
- No, my things.

- It's all garbage.
- Okay.

Doña Sophia, I get it, I get it.
You don't want anyone

in your space. I get that, okay?

So here's what we're gonna do.

Very carefully,
we're gonna get you up.

I haven't left the building
in... in...

- Four years, Grandma.
- I can't leave.

- I can't leave.
- Yes.

Yes, you can, okay?

I know what it feels like
when you think your space

is the only safe space
in the world.

What if I told you
we won't let anyone in?

Okay? Will you trust me?


- Okay. Okay, all right.
- Yeah?

- Okay, guys, come on...
- Help me up, help me up.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I'll bring the paramedics up.

I'm not getting involved
in anything.

Okay, okay.

- Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- What? What?

My oxygen.

Don't worry, Doña Sophia,
they got plenty of oxygen

at the hospital, all right?

A-And my romance novel,

- the one I'm halfway through.
- Uh-huh.

- My Heart So Wild.
- Okay.

We'll make sure
that we have somebody

- bring it for you, all right?
- Okay,

is anybody gonna do anything
about the blood in my bathroom?

Nope. We're gonna leave it right there.

- ¡Ay, Dios mío! ¡Ay, Dios mío!
- Okay.

- You're riding along?
- Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, and the nice...
nice ex-con, too.

Just breathe, just breathe.

Just breathe.

If anyone calls 311,

if Jonah calls his plumber...

Ah, don't worry, don't worry, D.
I got it.

- Don't worry about a thing.
- Okay.

Ready? Here we go.

And we're
going for an...

I miss MASH.

Where can I find my MASH?

Uh, how much fentanyl
they give you?

I need coffee.

I'll get it.
Stay with your abuela.

No, no, no, no,
it's fine.

- You want anything?
- No, I'm good. Thanks.

You're not as much of
a puta sucia as I thought.

You're not as much of
a vieja pendeja as I thought.

- You okay?
- Mm.

I'm sorry I was...

I'm not used to people knocking
on my door anymore.

I get it.

If I could lock myself in
that basement

and never leave,

I would.

What'd you want anyway?

Ugh... I-I... It's so stupid now.

I... I just thought...

maybe you knew where Dominic is.

Ferret-faced ladies' man?

Nah. Little shit.

He didn't even tell
his abuela Elena

where he was at,

just sent a Christmas present
once a year.

No return address, huh?

The young lady who talk funny
dropped things off for him.

- Talked funny? How?
- You know...

'Allo, mate.

- Like British?
- No, no, more like...

Crocodile Dundee.

- Australian?
- Yeah, that was it.

If he was trying to be low-key,

why'd he send a white girl
with an accent

to deliver presents a-and money
to an old Dominican?

It ain't exactly
under the radar.

Dominic with some
Australian white girl?

He barely left
the goddamn Heights. Unless...

Georgie used to buy weed
from Dominic.

She's the one who introduced us.
What are the odds?

Was her name Georgie?

Professor Dundee
fights for people

wrongly imprisoned.

Maybe she never fought for me

'cause she was too busy
with Dominic.

What are the odds?

Dolores Roach?


What am I doing here?

God, what are you,
what are you doing here?

I thought that you were...

I mean, I heard
that y-you were...

I was. I was in, uh, prison.

Uh, just got out
a few weeks ago.


- Well, I...
- I was wondering...

- Can we talk?
- I was just leaving,

unfortunately, but rain check?

Are you still in your
old neighborhood?

Just only for a few more days.

You don't have, like,
a half hour you can spare?

I, actually... I would,
but I have to go meet my kid.

I'm sorry.

Oh, wow. You got a kid?

- Oh, yeah, we don't need to talk about...
- How old?

- We don't have to do all that. It's okay.
- Why?

- No, it's...
- Why? It's okay.


Walk me to the train.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Dolores, I...

I haven't been in touch
with Dominic since, I mean...

probably that night uptown

right when you
moved in with him,

after your father's funeral.

That was 20 years ago.

Once I stopped smoking pot,
he, I guess,

didn't have much use for me.
I think that's...

all I meant to him, really.

But then who else could it be?

You know, I mean,
it's not like he had a ton

of white girlfriends
with accents.


Oh, well... I didn't
see you very much

after that either, did I?

Once you were in his world.

We were so close,
and then we weren't

close, and, you know,
that's fine, that's life,

but how would I know
who he was friends with

or not friends with?


Yeah, you're right,
I guess, you know.

People drift.

And didn't you say that lady
was on fentanyl?

That's the stuff
that killed Prince.

she must not have...

- I'm sorry.
- Oh.

I thought of you
when Prince died.

How pissed you were at me
that I'd scratched

your Purple Rain CD,
and it kept skipping

at that one song.

And I wondered where you were
at that moment. I did.

Same place I was at
for 16 years, Georgie.

Yeah, okay, I know that.
I just...

I wanted to reach out
to you, but...


Well... it was uncomfortable.

Oh, wow, I'm so sorry
that my prison sentence

- was uncomfortable for you.
- No, I mean,

I didn't even know whether
you wanted to hear from me,

or whether
we were friends, or...

You know, the other day,
I came here,

and I thought
I didn't say hi to you

because I was embarrassed...

- Don't be embarrassed...
- No, stop.

Please let me finish, please.

Now I know I didn't say hi

because I wanted you
to eat shit.

That entire time I was rotting

in a cell,

you were making a living

off of pretending
to be a champion for people

just like me,
but you ignored your own friend

when she needed you the most.

- Go fuck yourself, Georgie.
- Mm-hmm.

There it is. That's it.
That is why.

Where is it? What is it?
What is it? Why?

People drift?

Fuck, you're mean.

You always were to me.

Oh, God, I'm not the only person
who "drifted" from you.

Who's the common denominator,

I'm sort of getting

used to "serial killer,"
but mean?

Oh, what the fuck

happened here?

No, the-the shitty A/C,

it crapped out.

Temperature rose, ice melted,

so all this shit
slid into the pipes,

clogged everything up.

Why are you
putting it on ice, man?

Just throw that shit
in the river already.

'Cause this is valuable meat,
mami. All right?

Listen, we probably got,
like, a week left

before we got
to get out of here.

So all of a sudden we stop
selling Muy Loco

and Muy Loca, you don't think
people are gonna notice?

Especially Jonah? Nah,
we got to keep business strong

if we're gonna get
that white boy's cash, mami.

It's scary when
he starts to make sense.

- Where you gonna put all this now?
- I'll figure it out.

You want to give me a hand?

But, Luis, anyone can
walk in and find this.

Who anybody?

Health inspector ain't
coming back anytime soon.

Got an A-minus.
Nellie laughs in my face

every time I try to get her
to come in here.

I'll just lock up overnight,
I'll fix the A/C,

and I'll move all this shit
back down there tomorrow.

Really? You still need that?

The guanciale I'm making
from his cheeks?

You can't even get shit
that good in Rome.

Oh, Jesus.

Yo, you all right, D?

If you gonna puke,
you got to get out of here.

- No, I'm not gonna...
- Food prep, food prep, come on.

Yes, I know, I know.
I'm not, I'm not puking.

I'm just fried.


- You're a jackass, you know that?
- Oh, yeah, I get it.

It seemed like you were
with Sophia for a long time.


I, uh, called the hospital.

They said that visiting hours
ended a while ago.

And that Nellie and Jonah,
they got back here

around an hour and a half ago.

Went to see an old friend.

I thought you didn't know nobody
else around here anymore.

I didn't think I did.

So, then, who was it?

Luis... am I mean?

Do you want to be mean?

No, no.

I mean, you did just
call me a jackass,

like, 30 seconds ago, so...

Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
I did. Sorry.

No, no. It's okay.

I am a jackass.

I went to go see this...

this white girl that used to be
my friend in college.

She's the one that introduced me
to Dominic in the first place.

He used to be our weed dealer.

And I know,
I know it's psychotic

that I can't get over this,
I know it is.

No. I-I get it.

Yeah, some things
just eat away at us.

No, but I don't want
to be this way.

I don't want to be haunted
by some motherfucker

who fucked my life apart.

I don't. I really, real...
I don't.

I know.

I've killed four people, Luis.

Three with my bare hands.

And I've never felt so crazy
or so ashamed

as when she said...

And then I have you,
and you're so, so...

I mean, look at what
you've done for me.

Look at what you're doing
for us.

Giving up this place, your shop.

And I know how much
you love this place.

So that's it, I'm done.

I swear to... I'm done, man.
No more. No more Dominic.


It's just you and me, man. Okay?



It's just you and me.

Luis, just fuck me, okay?

Just fuck me.

- No, no, no.
- Just fuck me. Why not?

Not here. Not here, not here.

This guy's done
everything for me

except one fucking thing.

Luis, I got my period,
so just...

- So? - So if you don't
want to do that, just fuck me.

I-I do, I do want to do that.

Fucking cannibal.

Dolores, this is as close
as I can be to you.

- I want you inside me.
- I want you inside of me.

- No, Dolores. Dolores.
- Come on, fuck me. Fuck me.

- Dolores.
- Fuck me like a man. Fuck me.

Fuck me!

- Stop, stop! Stop!
- Wha-What are you... Ah!

My God, what is that?

Yo, I... What, what...

I told you not to...
I told you not to do that!

- Why did you do that?
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- I said not to fucking do that!
- Sorry.

I'm sorry.

Okay. Okay, okay.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

I'm... I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- No, don't be, don't be sorry. I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
- I'm sorry that I did that.

I'm sorry, okay? It's my fault.
Forgive me, please,

- I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Did someone do that to you?

Oh, uh, there was an accident,
and it, and it healed wrong.

What kind of accident?

When I was 12...

...this girl...
she really liked me,

and, uh, and it ended.

A girl did that to you?

- A woman.
- A woman?

When you were 12? Who?

A teacher? A coach?
Who did that?

My father's girlfriend.

Your father's girlfriend
did that to you?

Nah, nah, she-she didn't, um...

It was a result
of the relationship.

It wasn't a relationship, Luis.

It really wasn't if you were 12.

No, no, no, no, but I-I'm okay
with it, I'm okay with it.

I'm okay with it.
I am, you know.

'Cause I didn't even... I didn't
even know, like, it was wrong.

Right? And, like, whatever.

It was a long time ago,
you know, whatever.

- Fuck it. Fuck her, right?
- Right.

Did you ever tell anyone?

My dad. Uh, he, he found out.

Then she left.

She left him.

And they were together,
like, ten years,

and, uh, he really loved her.

He really... especially
after my mom left us.

And I-I fucked it up for him.

- No, you didn't fuck it up. That's not true, Luis.
- No, I did. I caused it.

You didn't fuck it up.
It wasn't you.

Of course I did,
of course I did.

I-I fucking...

I broke apart my family,
our family.

A-And because of that, I-I...

I, um...

I tried to, you know...

I tried to cut it off.

'Cause it was the whole,
the whole thing, you know.

The whole problem was, like,

I, like, fucking enjoyed it
and shit.

I tried to do it
with a knife, and, um...


I really couldn't
cut through it.

I couldn't cut through it,

and, and I...

and I was bleeding so much,

and I was gonna pass out
before I could finish it.

So I took a ladle
of hot oil from the fryer,

and I just poured it all down.

Oh, I'm a fucking...
fucking freak.

Oh, God!

We've both been burned, Luis.

We both got scars.

You ain't got nothing
to be ashamed of.

I want to taste you, mami.


Who can sleep
between the blood in the water,

and Sophia and Dominic

and Georgie,
and Luis's accident,

and our escape so close?

I haven't had
this kind of energy

since Rebecca Weiner let me
feel her up

after her bat mitzvah.

Do I need to pull up
on Rebecca Weiner?

Definitely not, no.

Can I kiss you again?


Can I stay
with you tonight?

Just for support.
I'll stay in the living room.

Have you seen
the living room?

I just want you
to feel safe.

Maybe he'll
come through.

Maybe he and Nellie will
run the shop together.

Maybe we'll make it out
of this okay.

What are the odds?

Somebody's upstairs.


You don't own the place yet.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Is this okay?

Um, I-I wanted to
surprise Nellie

with breakfast in bed,
but her kitchen up there...

- I know.
- Yeah.

I've seen people store things
in their ovens,

but not usually
their microwaves, too.

I like that you're invested.

I like that Nellie's happy,

So do I.

what are the odds?

I swear
that was locked!



Bye, Felicia.