The Healing Powers of Dude (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 8 - I'll Be Right Here - full transcript
All right. Good boy.
All right. Go get it, bud.
Nice. Good boy.
All right. All right. You ready?
Go long, Dude.
Nice.
Dude!
And he goes by Dude.
Watch it, Mom.
No, I don't know how he got that name.
Finished the fliers.
I went back and forth a bunch,
but I ended up going with Comic Sans.
Who cares about the font?
Why'd you use the pic of Dude
licking himself?
Because we want people
to recognize him, don't we?
Hey, good news.
Meghan Harrison thinks she saw Dude
near the old Dunkin Donuts.
The same Megan Harrison
who thinks Jay-Z
is a time-traveling vampire?
I'll keep making calls.
- Hey, bud.
- Hey, you hungry?
I can make you anything you want.
Anything but eggs.
I'm okay.
Still feeling sick from last night?
I can't believe you vomited
all over Valerie Stevens' party.
Well, believe it.
Maybe if I change my last name,
I can get an invite next year.
Guys, I appreciate you doing this,
but I don't think Dude's
gonna want to come back.
He came back last time.
This is different.
I was so mean.
We need to stay positive.
I'm making these phone calls.
Your dad printed out these--
Comic Sans?
I knew I should've gone with Helvetica.
Pretty sure I buried it right around here.
Rough night? You look like
you slept in a dumpster.
Well, Noah and I got into a fight,
and he basically told me to leave
and never come back.
Also, yes, I slept in a dumpster.
Yeah, you reek
of moldy cheese and self-pity.
Don't worry. I'll be out
of your cotton-candy hair in a minute.
I only came back to grab my panaffle,
and then I'm gonna hit the road.
Hey, you should come with me.
- What?
- Yeah, we could travel the world together.
I hear Worcester, Mass,
is gorgeous this time of year.
I don't think so.
Ms. Grumpy Pants.
Mommy just scheduled us an appointment
to get matching island braids.
- When do we leave?
- Immediately.
Let me just grab my bag.
So the plan is to start on the west side
and then work our way back.
- Let's go.
- But Dude could be anywhere.
- How do we even know where to look?
- Well, I didn't mention this before,
but remember that time
that I went downtown?
Alone.
Yes, alone.
Well, I was walking down
this really sketchy street when--
Dude!
He came back.
You want me to go with you?
No. I got this.
So what were you saying
about being on a really sketchy street?
Mom, just let it go.
Okay.
Just play it cool.
Play it cool.
Shoot. Here comes Noah.
Just play cool. Play it cool.
Hi.
Hey.
Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you.
You straight up white-fanged me.
Scratch was right
about not wasting time on humans.
I was hurt by something
Valerie's friend said,
and then Amara and Simon
got upset with me.
But none of that matters.
What matters is...
everything's better
when you're by my side.
You're not just my emotional-support dog.
You're part of my family.
Part of your family?
So...
- what do you say?
- I say...
it's good to be back home.
Ew. You smell like dumpster vomit.
Yeah, I get that a lot.
Whoo-whoo.
Okay. I'm ready.
Boy. Noah, give me a second.
- So there's been a change of plans.
- What?
Noah apologized.
Something about Valerie's friend.
- Anyway...
- I hate you.
Yeah, that's fair. See you around.
Married to my cat. We--
Um, we just live together.
In a normal human- cat situation.
It, um...
Ach, I wish you hadn't
dragged me into this mess.
Now all my cat friends are gonna be like,
"Yo, Dane, what up with your loser human?"
We-We-We really should be
getting to that gym because-- Aah.
Meyers might be the principal,
but it's pretty clear
who's running this school.
Meyers might be the principal...
but it's pretty clear
who's running this school.
Have no idea who's running this school.
You are acting cray right now.
Why couldn't I have become an accountant
like father wanted?
What?
It can't be.
A flea? But I give you pills.
Yeah, about that.
I pretend to eat them
and then spit them in your coffee
when you're not looking.
Also, the fleas are probably
from the street cat I've been seeing.
Okay, several street cats.
Okay, perfect.
I guess we'll have to cancel
your salon appointment.
Let's get you out of here
before this spreads.
The last time I saw that smile,
you put me in
a Leonardo DiCaprio look-alike contest.
So...
- last night was--
- Awful.
I told you that party would be dumb.
So dumb. The dumbest.
You psyched
about the performance tonight?
I can't believe it sold out.
It did?
I forgot. You're not on the Gram.
The video of you singing
got reposted by Channel 4 News.
Everyone in town is coming tonight.
Everyone in town?
Yep. Well, technically, not everyone.
My Uncle Ross went
to an all-you-can-eat sushi place
and got mercury poisoning.
So, like, nearly everyone,
but it is going to be packed.
Okay, Simon, I get it.
Hey, guys.
I... just... wanted...
to... say...
You got this.
Just... say anything.
Anytime.
Speak.
I have to go study my lines for tonight.
I too have something important to do
that needs to happen at this very moment.
Don't stress, but now you have
to run after them Tom Cruise-style.
People always love that.
Or... maybe we just take a moment.
Noah! How'd it go?
Noah?
How'd it go?
Noah!
We're just getting our feelings out, Dad.
Okay, I'm getting the vibe
that things maybe didn't go so great
with Simon and Amara.
They never want to talk to me again.
No, sweetie.
Um... you and your friends
are gonna figure this out.
- Yeah.
- Sometimes people need a little space.
Yeah, like your mom did summer of '05.
When are you gonna get over that?
It's hard to get over having your heart
ripped out of your chest.
I thought we were talking about me.
- Sorry.
- Yes.
You know, I was thinking
maybe I shouldn't go to the show tonight.
- What?
- No. You can't bail on the show.
You're the...
Second assistant prop master.
Second assistant prop master.
That's so important.
- I just got a text from Logan.
- Why are you getting texts from him?
Somebody just bought your sculpture.
For hella hundos?
Pretty close.
Dad, that's awesome!
- That's great?
- Hey.
Dad sold his statue?
Does that mean
that we can finally go to Paris?
I do look good in a beret.
Man, this tree looks so real.
I'm gonna pee on it.
Don't even think about it, Dude.
Amara. Thirty minutes to show time.
Amara?
I'm not going on.
Tell Tinsley she can do tonight.
Amara, please open the door.
This is all my fault.
I have to do something.
We got this.
- You know, my mom once said--
- Go away!
Just need to get some backup.
Yep.
I know, right? It's so stupid.
- Right?
- What's your hurry?
He probably has to throw up.
I'm a lover not a fighter,
but say the word, and I'll bite that kid.
Back off!
It's our girl.
We were just joking around, Val.
Confirming why I never thought
of you as my funny friend.
Whatever. Let's go.
You okay?
Totally. Why wouldn't I be?
Because a kid was just making
vomit noises at you.
Right.
That.
Sorry for what happened at my party.
I just wish I'd known
you weren't feeling good.
It's all right.
You were... too busy talking to Tia.
You heard that.
I hope you know that's what she thinks,
but it's not what I think.
Yeah, Dude is awesome.
Preach.
But you're awesome, too.
So I'll see you tonight at the musical?
The musical.
I-- I got to go.
- But I-- I just...
- Later!
Okay.
Enjoy the show.
Enjoy the show.
Hey.
Enjoy the show. Love is a myth.
Look, I get why you're mad.
I didn't realize Amara liked me
until right before we went into the party.
But don't worry.
She completely hates me now.
Enjoy the show.
Please ignore this backstabber to my left.
I'll just give you boys some space.
Dude. There you are.
Hey, pal.
You talking to me?
Aw, you are such a good boy.
Yeah, good boy.
Just... so cute.
Okay, that was super-weird.
Fine. Stay mad.
I'm only here
'cause something's wrong with Amara.
Is she hurt? Is she sick?
Did she finally run over the director
with the wheelchair?
All I know is she's locked herself
in her dressing room.
Then what are you waiting for? Let's go.
Enjoy the show.
Amara, it's Noah.
- And Simon.
- And Dude.
I know you're still mad at me.
Yeah, we're both still mad at you.
Can you please just open the door
so we can talk?
Okay, stand back.
I've seen this done in movies.
Hi.
I was under the impression
that the door was locked.
Do these guys know how to make
an entrance or what?
I still can't believe our Noah
is second assistant prop master
for the school musical.
You guys do realize
that he'll be backstage the entire time
and won't even know we're here.
- We're not leaving.
- Ay.
So, based on the program...
...this musical is about
Elliot's little sister Gertie,
who's now grown up
and considered the town eccentric
for trying to contact E.T.
and bring him back.
It's the sequel we've all been craving.
Amara, if this is about what happened
at the party,
I am so--
Slow down, egomaniac.
This has nothing to do with you.
Seriously. Full of yourself much?
It's actually all Simon's fault.
- What?
- You're the one who told me
the entire town
is coming to the show tonight.
Except for my uncle.
Mercury poisoning.
Well, that's exciting, right?
It's one thing to perform
in front of our school, but...
in front of everyone we know,
including my dentist?
I just can't do it.
Okay. Well...
my therapist...
always asks me...
"What's the worst thing
that could happen?"
Let's see. Amara forgets the words,
then everyone boos.
- She cries onstage--
- Everything you just said.
Minus the crying. I haven't cried
since I came out of my mom's belly
via C-section in the booth of an IHOP.
That sounds horrifying.
I just feel like...
if I can overcome my fear
of facing you guys
after what happened at the party--
Yeah, I heard you threw up.
You did?
That's awful.
Yes.
It was pretty awful.
But... my point is that...
if I can stand here with you guys now,
then you, Amara,
the most fearless person I know,
can go out on that stage and sing.
Sorry. This itch is just killing me.
- You're forgetting one key thing.
- What?
You have Dude.
If I go up on that stage...
I'll be all by myself.
But what if you weren't by yourself?
But... I will be.
Okay, but...
- what if you--
- Don't say it again.
Weren't.
Okay, Embry, it's starting.
But Ally just texted me
that T. Swift is cooler than Beyoncé.
I can't just let that slide.
Embry, now.
Is that?
Noah.
Everything's okay.
Just pretend
they're all in their underwear.
What are they doing?
This play just got a lot more exciting.
He can't be up there.
He's gonna have a panic attack.
or there's no way
they get what's going on up here.
Yes! Yes!
Noah!
I can't believe you sang onstage.
We just did it to support Amara.
Thankfully, she only needed us
for one song.
Well, I've never seen
a better singing Elliot in my life.
Except for the five other
singing Elliots onstage.
But you were pretty good.
Aw, what a picture-perfect family.
Now will someone
please scratch my butt? Unh.
We'll meet you at Grandma's to celebrate.
We're so proud of you.
Looks like you've got
a ton of adoring fans.
One is from Mrs.Wakowski,
one is from Ms. Fleckburg,
and the other seven or so
are from my family.
They want to take me out
for celebratory ice cream, but...
I told them I had plans with my friends.
So...
we're friends again?
Last night, I wanted to flatten you
with my wheelchair, but tonight...
you reminded me
what a great friend you are.
And I think that's how we should stay.
Friends.
Well, it means a lot to me
to be your friend.
Man,
I can't stay mad at you, either, bro.
Wait. Why were you mad at Noah?
because I accidentally
ripped the tail off of his cat costume.
- It was a rental.
- Sorry.
Speaking of costumes,
you know you can take that off now, right?
Yeah.
It's actually really comfortable.
Also, I can't find my pants.
Just think. A few months ago,
Amara wasn't a musical-theater star.
Simon wasn't bully-free on the bus.
And I wasn't...
Able to stand in a school hallway
without screaming and running away?
But here we are now.
Best friends.
We are going to rule this school
by years end.
I love these kids.
Even the loud one.
There he is.
There has been a flea outbreak,
and there's only one mutt
they could've come from.
Why is everyone staring at me?
I suggest you... check his fur.
- Fleas.
- Yeah, that explains the itching.
I knew it. I knew it.
Which is why
I already alerted the school board,
and they told me that Dude
is to stay off school property...
indefinitely.
Just when things were going well.
All right. Go get it, bud.
Nice. Good boy.
All right. All right. You ready?
Go long, Dude.
Nice.
Dude!
And he goes by Dude.
Watch it, Mom.
No, I don't know how he got that name.
Finished the fliers.
I went back and forth a bunch,
but I ended up going with Comic Sans.
Who cares about the font?
Why'd you use the pic of Dude
licking himself?
Because we want people
to recognize him, don't we?
Hey, good news.
Meghan Harrison thinks she saw Dude
near the old Dunkin Donuts.
The same Megan Harrison
who thinks Jay-Z
is a time-traveling vampire?
I'll keep making calls.
- Hey, bud.
- Hey, you hungry?
I can make you anything you want.
Anything but eggs.
I'm okay.
Still feeling sick from last night?
I can't believe you vomited
all over Valerie Stevens' party.
Well, believe it.
Maybe if I change my last name,
I can get an invite next year.
Guys, I appreciate you doing this,
but I don't think Dude's
gonna want to come back.
He came back last time.
This is different.
I was so mean.
We need to stay positive.
I'm making these phone calls.
Your dad printed out these--
Comic Sans?
I knew I should've gone with Helvetica.
Pretty sure I buried it right around here.
Rough night? You look like
you slept in a dumpster.
Well, Noah and I got into a fight,
and he basically told me to leave
and never come back.
Also, yes, I slept in a dumpster.
Yeah, you reek
of moldy cheese and self-pity.
Don't worry. I'll be out
of your cotton-candy hair in a minute.
I only came back to grab my panaffle,
and then I'm gonna hit the road.
Hey, you should come with me.
- What?
- Yeah, we could travel the world together.
I hear Worcester, Mass,
is gorgeous this time of year.
I don't think so.
Ms. Grumpy Pants.
Mommy just scheduled us an appointment
to get matching island braids.
- When do we leave?
- Immediately.
Let me just grab my bag.
So the plan is to start on the west side
and then work our way back.
- Let's go.
- But Dude could be anywhere.
- How do we even know where to look?
- Well, I didn't mention this before,
but remember that time
that I went downtown?
Alone.
Yes, alone.
Well, I was walking down
this really sketchy street when--
Dude!
He came back.
You want me to go with you?
No. I got this.
So what were you saying
about being on a really sketchy street?
Mom, just let it go.
Okay.
Just play it cool.
Play it cool.
Shoot. Here comes Noah.
Just play cool. Play it cool.
Hi.
Hey.
Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you.
You straight up white-fanged me.
Scratch was right
about not wasting time on humans.
I was hurt by something
Valerie's friend said,
and then Amara and Simon
got upset with me.
But none of that matters.
What matters is...
everything's better
when you're by my side.
You're not just my emotional-support dog.
You're part of my family.
Part of your family?
So...
- what do you say?
- I say...
it's good to be back home.
Ew. You smell like dumpster vomit.
Yeah, I get that a lot.
Whoo-whoo.
Okay. I'm ready.
Boy. Noah, give me a second.
- So there's been a change of plans.
- What?
Noah apologized.
Something about Valerie's friend.
- Anyway...
- I hate you.
Yeah, that's fair. See you around.
Married to my cat. We--
Um, we just live together.
In a normal human- cat situation.
It, um...
Ach, I wish you hadn't
dragged me into this mess.
Now all my cat friends are gonna be like,
"Yo, Dane, what up with your loser human?"
We-We-We really should be
getting to that gym because-- Aah.
Meyers might be the principal,
but it's pretty clear
who's running this school.
Meyers might be the principal...
but it's pretty clear
who's running this school.
Have no idea who's running this school.
You are acting cray right now.
Why couldn't I have become an accountant
like father wanted?
What?
It can't be.
A flea? But I give you pills.
Yeah, about that.
I pretend to eat them
and then spit them in your coffee
when you're not looking.
Also, the fleas are probably
from the street cat I've been seeing.
Okay, several street cats.
Okay, perfect.
I guess we'll have to cancel
your salon appointment.
Let's get you out of here
before this spreads.
The last time I saw that smile,
you put me in
a Leonardo DiCaprio look-alike contest.
So...
- last night was--
- Awful.
I told you that party would be dumb.
So dumb. The dumbest.
You psyched
about the performance tonight?
I can't believe it sold out.
It did?
I forgot. You're not on the Gram.
The video of you singing
got reposted by Channel 4 News.
Everyone in town is coming tonight.
Everyone in town?
Yep. Well, technically, not everyone.
My Uncle Ross went
to an all-you-can-eat sushi place
and got mercury poisoning.
So, like, nearly everyone,
but it is going to be packed.
Okay, Simon, I get it.
Hey, guys.
I... just... wanted...
to... say...
You got this.
Just... say anything.
Anytime.
Speak.
I have to go study my lines for tonight.
I too have something important to do
that needs to happen at this very moment.
Don't stress, but now you have
to run after them Tom Cruise-style.
People always love that.
Or... maybe we just take a moment.
Noah! How'd it go?
Noah?
How'd it go?
Noah!
We're just getting our feelings out, Dad.
Okay, I'm getting the vibe
that things maybe didn't go so great
with Simon and Amara.
They never want to talk to me again.
No, sweetie.
Um... you and your friends
are gonna figure this out.
- Yeah.
- Sometimes people need a little space.
Yeah, like your mom did summer of '05.
When are you gonna get over that?
It's hard to get over having your heart
ripped out of your chest.
I thought we were talking about me.
- Sorry.
- Yes.
You know, I was thinking
maybe I shouldn't go to the show tonight.
- What?
- No. You can't bail on the show.
You're the...
Second assistant prop master.
Second assistant prop master.
That's so important.
- I just got a text from Logan.
- Why are you getting texts from him?
Somebody just bought your sculpture.
For hella hundos?
Pretty close.
Dad, that's awesome!
- That's great?
- Hey.
Dad sold his statue?
Does that mean
that we can finally go to Paris?
I do look good in a beret.
Man, this tree looks so real.
I'm gonna pee on it.
Don't even think about it, Dude.
Amara. Thirty minutes to show time.
Amara?
I'm not going on.
Tell Tinsley she can do tonight.
Amara, please open the door.
This is all my fault.
I have to do something.
We got this.
- You know, my mom once said--
- Go away!
Just need to get some backup.
Yep.
I know, right? It's so stupid.
- Right?
- What's your hurry?
He probably has to throw up.
I'm a lover not a fighter,
but say the word, and I'll bite that kid.
Back off!
It's our girl.
We were just joking around, Val.
Confirming why I never thought
of you as my funny friend.
Whatever. Let's go.
You okay?
Totally. Why wouldn't I be?
Because a kid was just making
vomit noises at you.
Right.
That.
Sorry for what happened at my party.
I just wish I'd known
you weren't feeling good.
It's all right.
You were... too busy talking to Tia.
You heard that.
I hope you know that's what she thinks,
but it's not what I think.
Yeah, Dude is awesome.
Preach.
But you're awesome, too.
So I'll see you tonight at the musical?
The musical.
I-- I got to go.
- But I-- I just...
- Later!
Okay.
Enjoy the show.
Enjoy the show.
Hey.
Enjoy the show. Love is a myth.
Look, I get why you're mad.
I didn't realize Amara liked me
until right before we went into the party.
But don't worry.
She completely hates me now.
Enjoy the show.
Please ignore this backstabber to my left.
I'll just give you boys some space.
Dude. There you are.
Hey, pal.
You talking to me?
Aw, you are such a good boy.
Yeah, good boy.
Just... so cute.
Okay, that was super-weird.
Fine. Stay mad.
I'm only here
'cause something's wrong with Amara.
Is she hurt? Is she sick?
Did she finally run over the director
with the wheelchair?
All I know is she's locked herself
in her dressing room.
Then what are you waiting for? Let's go.
Enjoy the show.
Amara, it's Noah.
- And Simon.
- And Dude.
I know you're still mad at me.
Yeah, we're both still mad at you.
Can you please just open the door
so we can talk?
Okay, stand back.
I've seen this done in movies.
Hi.
I was under the impression
that the door was locked.
Do these guys know how to make
an entrance or what?
I still can't believe our Noah
is second assistant prop master
for the school musical.
You guys do realize
that he'll be backstage the entire time
and won't even know we're here.
- We're not leaving.
- Ay.
So, based on the program...
...this musical is about
Elliot's little sister Gertie,
who's now grown up
and considered the town eccentric
for trying to contact E.T.
and bring him back.
It's the sequel we've all been craving.
Amara, if this is about what happened
at the party,
I am so--
Slow down, egomaniac.
This has nothing to do with you.
Seriously. Full of yourself much?
It's actually all Simon's fault.
- What?
- You're the one who told me
the entire town
is coming to the show tonight.
Except for my uncle.
Mercury poisoning.
Well, that's exciting, right?
It's one thing to perform
in front of our school, but...
in front of everyone we know,
including my dentist?
I just can't do it.
Okay. Well...
my therapist...
always asks me...
"What's the worst thing
that could happen?"
Let's see. Amara forgets the words,
then everyone boos.
- She cries onstage--
- Everything you just said.
Minus the crying. I haven't cried
since I came out of my mom's belly
via C-section in the booth of an IHOP.
That sounds horrifying.
I just feel like...
if I can overcome my fear
of facing you guys
after what happened at the party--
Yeah, I heard you threw up.
You did?
That's awful.
Yes.
It was pretty awful.
But... my point is that...
if I can stand here with you guys now,
then you, Amara,
the most fearless person I know,
can go out on that stage and sing.
Sorry. This itch is just killing me.
- You're forgetting one key thing.
- What?
You have Dude.
If I go up on that stage...
I'll be all by myself.
But what if you weren't by yourself?
But... I will be.
Okay, but...
- what if you--
- Don't say it again.
Weren't.
Okay, Embry, it's starting.
But Ally just texted me
that T. Swift is cooler than Beyoncé.
I can't just let that slide.
Embry, now.
Is that?
Noah.
Everything's okay.
Just pretend
they're all in their underwear.
What are they doing?
This play just got a lot more exciting.
He can't be up there.
He's gonna have a panic attack.
or there's no way
they get what's going on up here.
Yes! Yes!
Noah!
I can't believe you sang onstage.
We just did it to support Amara.
Thankfully, she only needed us
for one song.
Well, I've never seen
a better singing Elliot in my life.
Except for the five other
singing Elliots onstage.
But you were pretty good.
Aw, what a picture-perfect family.
Now will someone
please scratch my butt? Unh.
We'll meet you at Grandma's to celebrate.
We're so proud of you.
Looks like you've got
a ton of adoring fans.
One is from Mrs.Wakowski,
one is from Ms. Fleckburg,
and the other seven or so
are from my family.
They want to take me out
for celebratory ice cream, but...
I told them I had plans with my friends.
So...
we're friends again?
Last night, I wanted to flatten you
with my wheelchair, but tonight...
you reminded me
what a great friend you are.
And I think that's how we should stay.
Friends.
Well, it means a lot to me
to be your friend.
Man,
I can't stay mad at you, either, bro.
Wait. Why were you mad at Noah?
because I accidentally
ripped the tail off of his cat costume.
- It was a rental.
- Sorry.
Speaking of costumes,
you know you can take that off now, right?
Yeah.
It's actually really comfortable.
Also, I can't find my pants.
Just think. A few months ago,
Amara wasn't a musical-theater star.
Simon wasn't bully-free on the bus.
And I wasn't...
Able to stand in a school hallway
without screaming and running away?
But here we are now.
Best friends.
We are going to rule this school
by years end.
I love these kids.
Even the loud one.
There he is.
There has been a flea outbreak,
and there's only one mutt
they could've come from.
Why is everyone staring at me?
I suggest you... check his fur.
- Fleas.
- Yeah, that explains the itching.
I knew it. I knew it.
Which is why
I already alerted the school board,
and they told me that Dude
is to stay off school property...
indefinitely.
Just when things were going well.