The Handmaid's Tale (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 9 - Heroic - full transcript

Confined in a hospital, June's sanity begins to fray, but an encounter with Serena Joy forces June to reassess her recent actions.

Previously on
The Handmaid's Tale...

Do you have any idea
what you did?

You fucking bitch!

You're being so mean.

She got someone executed.

She doesn't feel sorry about it.

She should have kept
her fucking mouth shut.

You will never be free of me

until both of my children
are safe.

That is my constant
prayer for Nichole.

You will not let her go!
Because I love her!

This isn't love.
You can't love!

You don't know how!

Ofmatthew doesn't want her baby.

Well, it was just a second.

That's a sin.


And to refuse
God's blessings of a child...

is among the gravest of sins.




No! No!

Do you hear it?

I didn't at first.

Not for a few weeks.

Don't you hear it?


Don't you hear it?

You will.

You'll hear it.

You'll hear it.

They don't give
Ofmatthew anything

that might hurt the baby.

There's no future for her
in any case.

"There's too much bleeding,"
they say.

"Her brain is gone," they say.

Ofmatthew is just a vessel now,

and the baby is
all that matters.

I suppose it's all
that ever mattered.

The doctors and nurses

and orderlies and technicians

come and go.

I stay.

Thirtytwo days so far.

I will be here until
there's a baby.

"This is your walking partner,"
Aunt Lydia said.

"Where else
would you be?"

The wives come
to pray with Mrs. Calhoun.

"Please, God,
protect this child.

Bring forth your miracle.

We've been so faithful and good.

'Heaven is a place on Earth, '
dear God."

They smell of powder and soap.

They smell like the ceremony.

Like Serena Joy,
when she held me down.

It's hard not to fucking gag.

When Aunt Lydia brings
everyone to pray,

it smells like sweat.

Like onions and oranges

and fish from the grocery store.

It smells like tape and pus

from Janine's wounds,
still healing

after what Ofmatthew did to her.

I will be here
until there's a baby...

However long that takes.

This room has a smell,
citrus and ammonia.

It would have been in
spray bottles before,

at the grocery store.

Or Bed Bath and Beyond.

And then mostly from Amazon.

When there were
all those things.

Before the Internet raids.

Before the decency codes

and all the hangings.

She has a smell too.

A kind of sweet decay,
like wet leaves.

Like a dirty scalp.

Like her shit.




She smells like a baby.

They're not real, you know.

They're not.

Maybe I'm crazy

and this is some
new kind of therapy.

I wish that were true,

then I could get better.

And this would go away.

I could leave this room.

This would all end.

This has to end.

Dear God,
please watch over this child.


Pray, stupid.

Let Him hear
your devotion, girls.

Your heavenly powers

overcome sickness and infirmity.

Dear God,
please watch over this child.

You gather your lambs in arms

and carry them in your bosom.

Dear God,
please watch over this child.


put yourself together, please.

Hair out of your face.

Nothing is uglier than vanity,

That's better, dear.

Look upon us with eyes
of mercy, O Lord...

It's okay, it's not so bad.

It's gross.
It's not fair.

Of Our Heavenly Father.

To Him be the glory

All right, girls,
let's give them room

to do their work.
Come on.

Excuse me, ladies.
What challenges

has the Lord given us
this morning?

Her pressure's
creeping up again.

145 over 110.

Push 200 milligrams of Labetalol

and draw for labs.
White count first.


How's our patient?

Fetal heart rate is stable.

Praise be.

Let's keep it that way.

What's happening?

She's having seizures.

If you're lucky,

you may get to see
her shit herself.

You are...

a heartless,
heartless girl, Ofjoseph.

He who is most merciful,

please hear our prayers

and save this child.

Please, God, let them die.

Please, God, let them die.

Please, God...

let them die.




Clean that up, please.

Excuse me, Doctor,

may I ask what you're doing?

A saphenous cutdown.

I am placing a small tube

into the femoral vein.

Basically, it's a fancy name

to get in more fluids.

Should help control
the seizures,

and our little miracle

needs plenty of fluids.

Of course.

Tie and anchor that
suture closed, please.

Don't worry about the scar.

Glory be with you.

Go in grace.

The miracles God allows

these doctors to perform.

It's simply aweinspiring.


Under His eye, dear.

Hold on a minute.


I'm sorry.

Aunt Lydia...

May I go home, please?


You may not.



You may go home

when your walking partner
goes home.

You certainly owe her
that consideration

after the way
you have treated her.

I know.

I know I was shitty.


All you girls, just awful.

I know.

I know.

I don't feel well.


I believe in you.

God never gives us more

than we can handle.

Are you sure?

Pray without ceasing.

That's all we can do.

Yes, Aunt Lydia.

You don't fool me.

I know you're gone already.



What are you doing here?

Got infected.

They have to do
another procedure.

I haven't been praying for her.

Not really.


She had that seizure.

Do you think that
was your fault?


Do you think she can hear me?

I don't know.

Hi, Natalie.

It's Janine.

I just want you to know

that I forgive you.

And I want you to get better.

She can't get better.

I can wish for it anyway.

I want you to find peace.

Is that better?


I know how we can help her.



it's the right thing to do.

Listen to me.

We have to end it.

So you're going to kill her?

And the baby?

What did they ever do to you?

Janine, we have to.

We have to do something.

Don't do that.

She's one of us.




Okay, okay.

Give that to me.

When did you get
to be so selfish?

Everything is always
about you now.

Your problems.

Get the fuck out of here.

You're different.

I don't like it.

The lungs aren't
fully formed yet,

and won't be for a few weeks,

but we can take care
of it in the NICU,

if need be.

They're not gonna
come in here, are they?

Those sicks girls?

They're not sick.

They're here for
their menarche exam.

They've flowered?

How lovely.

That will be Hannah soon.

Too soon.

It'll be a few years before

they're ready to have
babies of their own.

He doesn't mean
emotionally ready.

He means they track
their pelvic development.

She's got prominent veins.

Easy to slice,

I'd think.

His aren't bad either.

Harder to see.

If I only get one kill,

I should start at the top.

Make it count.





I'm sorry
I couldn't get here sooner.

That's all right.
Thank you for coming.

Of course.
I've been praying for you.

And I for you.

Our precious babies.

we can discuss the rest

of the lab tests in my office.

Mrs. Waterford,

may I speak to you for a moment?

You don't want
to bother with that.

I'll catch up
with you downstairs.

Yes, Ofjoseph?

Come closer.

It's a secret.


You're not well.



You're out of your mind.

This has to end.

This has to end.

You were supposed to be
one of the strong ones.

There's something wrong.

She cut herself.

Mrs. Waterford
said you cut yourself.

Let me see.

It's all right.


You need stitches.



It's a clean slice.

Just a few more.

You doing okay?

You shouldn't
bother trying to fix me

if you’re just
going to report me.

You're right.

I shouldn't.

Thank you.

I took an oath.

First do no harm.

Am I harming you?

You're torturing her.

She's not my patient,

the child is.

That's bullshit.


Hold still.

My mother was a doctor.

She treated pregnant women.

And she always put her patients,

the women,


Things were different

when she practiced medicine.

Did she get out?


I'm sure you miss her.

Where did she practice?


For the most part.

Holly Maddox.


now I know why you took a swipe

at Mrs. Waterford.

Dr. Maddox.

Dr. Maddox,
she was scary.


She is.


I don't actually know.

You should know
I was going to kill Serena.

And her.

And you, too.

I warned them.

I said, "You can't
leave that girl

in here, praying...

for months
on end."

The brain atrophies in isolation

and breeds despair.

How long have you had
suicidal thoughts?


Doing any of the things

that you said would
put you on the wall,

and you know it.


How long?

I don't know.

Since I realized
I probably won't see

my daughters again.

You feel hopeless?

How should I feel?

Doctor, she's
someone's child, too.


I honor the Handmaid’s life

by saving her child.

How will you honor
your daughters?

Try not to get that wet.

Under His eye.


Take that.

Here we go, gentlemen.





Praise be.

Take him.

She's not gonna last
much longer.

Stitch her up.

You could use the practice.

Yes, sir.

Can I carry that for you?


Thank you.

Did you just have a baby?


I was visiting a friend.

Is she really sick?


Well, the Lord will heal her.

You just have to
pray hard enough.

Praise be.

I'm here because they said

I can have babies.

Later, not right now.

After I get married.

Is that what you want?

Of course.

So much.


Ofjoseph, come along.

She's still alive.

Not for much longer,
as I understand.

God will call her
home soon enough.

It's been quite an ordeal.

Aunt Lydia.

I need to stay with her.

If I may.


That would be very kind of you.

Go in grace, Ofjoseph.

I'll try.

Blessed be the fruit, dear.

May the Lord open.

The doctor
said the procedure went well.

Yeah, he said...

I mean, all thanks to God.

May his healing light

shine upon you.

I brought you something.

Nothing wrong with
wanting to look your best.

Let me help you.

Take this off.


I look like a pirate.


A space pirate.

Hey, it's okay.

It's all right.

I'm here.

I'll be right here.

I'm sorry I was
such a shit to you.

I got lost, I think.

Not that that's
a good excuse, but...

I don't really
have another reason.

They just take everything
from you, you know.

They really do.

Your son,

he's beautiful.


He is beautiful.

And everyone is praying for him,

but I wouldn't worry, seriously.

Because I think
he's just like you.

He's a fighter.

And he doesn't deserve

to grow up in this place.

He deserves to be free.

They all deserve to be free.

So, Natalie...

I'm gonna get them out.

I'm gonna get out
as many children as I can.

I don't really
know how yet, but...

I swear to you,

I'm gonna get them out.

Because Gilead

should know how this feels.

It's their turn to hurt.

All right.

It's okay.

It's all right.

Do you remember that song?