The Great Weddings of Munnes (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Bharat Mata Ki Jai - full transcript

(Announcement at Railway Station)

All my money is lost.

What will you stake now?

What are you doing with these
tickets? - I have three train tickets.

I stake them.
- My tickets.

What? Play.

She is my mother.

What?

Show.

Oh no!

I lost the tickets as well.
- Also lost the tickets.



Police?

Police!
- Hey what is this?

Oh, gambling?
- No sir.

This is railway station and not
the casino. Take them all.

Hello. Where are you aunt?
Train is already leaving.

Train is leaving?

You uncle was busy gambling here.

Police has arrested him.

All right, you first bail him out.

I'll call you on reaching Mathura.

I am hanging up.
Take care.

Gambling is a real time misery.

"Light a lamp of hope
and change the situation."

"Believe it or now,
it's the wedding of Munnes."



I am really scared.

We are going at Nagma's house but...

...but we don't know Urdu.

I can see that.

Let's do one thing.
Let's buy a book of Urdu poetry...

...at the next station
and learn few words of Urdu.

Listen to this.

You came empty handed in this world...
- That's the line from Bhagavatgita.

Oh yes. It is from Bhagavatgita.

Mister, your number please.

Sure. Note it down.

883840...
- She is asking your seat number.

What's that?

It's 13.

If you don't mind,
can you please take your seat?

I haven't brought my own seat.

I mean go to your seat.

Oh.
Sit there.

This is what he means.

As like in Hindi it called...
- Stop it.

Share with me also.

Only this much?
- Urdu couple is sitting beside.

Take lessons.

Am I right?

Mister, have some.

Sure. Thank you.

Actually,
we need a little help from you.

Just say it.
- Hesitate?

No, we never hesitate.

You see,
we urgently need to learn Urdu.

Urdu? - We'll treat you
with juice at next station.

Sure. We will.

What is problem called in Urdu?

Jehamat, Ajimat, Khidmat and Ajah.

Jehamat.

Ajimat. - These words
are twisting our tounges.

You are going to die.
- What nonsense are you talking?

How to translate this in Urdu?

Apaka Khatma ho jayega.

Kha...

And how to say...

...save me in Urdu?

Idat, Madat, Khidmat, Taaun.

Spare us for God sake.

Khuda ke liye hamari
jaan baksh dijiye.

Uncle, why are you
asking such nonsense?

We must learn these sentences.

Bad luck can strike any time.

And Munnes is
the carrier of bad luck.

Forget that.

Let's talk about birthday.
How to wish birthday in Urdu?

Of course, why not?

It is... Youme paidaeesh Mubarak.

Or you can say 'Youme piladat'.

Come again.
- Youme Piladat!!!

By the time he says it,
the kid will be born.

I'll just wish happy birthday.

Hey Munnes. Ask about I love you.

Just one last thing.
How to say I love you in Urdu?

'Humein apase beshumar
mohobbat hai.'

'Humein apase beshumar
mohobbat hai.'

Really?

Have you reached, Munnes?

Okay and did you see the girl?
- Not yet. I am still travelling.

All right I need refund.

Of course...

...Two and half thousand
rupees got debited from my account...

...but I didn't
receive the product.

Refund my money otherwise
I'll register complaint agianst you.

Maahi.

Is everything all right?
- Yes, grandpa.

Look at this. He is Mahesh.

He is the same guy whose horoscope
matched with your horoscope few days back.

He lives in Chicago, USA.
Earns well.

We want you to marry him.

But grandpa, you promised Munnes.

We didn't promise; we just
asked for more time to think.

All right.

But tell me one thing.
Whose selected Munnes?

I did.

Who liked Munnes?

I did.

I accepted your choice.

And now you are asking me to selected
someone else. This isn't right, grandpa.

Hold on.

It means you want...

...us to marry you to Munnes.

Right?

How can I say this but...

...what I have learnt from you...

...that never go for love marriage.

Instead love the one whom you marry.

Right?
So that I what I am doing, grandpa.

Trying to be a good wife.
- Wife? - Maahi, wife?

Even if a girl casually greets a boy in this
country people start pairing her with him.

And in our case, we have taken three and
a half the vows and are half married.

So, I am half wife to him, grandpa.

It's just the question
of other half now.

I'll need some time to get
over with this, grandpa.

Tea, hot tea.

Hey!

Sorry, sir.

Tea got spilled by mistake.

I am not angry about spilled tea.

You are selling cold tea.

Hell with your tea!

Ruined my clothes.

Battery is already down. Now
I need to change my clothes as well.

Yes, I am sending it.

Tea seller ruined everything.
Wait.

Hold on.

Need to change the clothes.

Wait. Battery is also about to die.

I am sending it. Hold on.

Battery is dead.

I had to dress up
as girl for your girlfriend.

What was the problem
in presenting as handsome guy?

We are going with wedding proposal.

No one prefers talking
to men men in such case.

There should be at
least one lady with us.

I am hardly able to
see through this.

Put the veil. Try and understand.
- All right.

Uncle, this isn't a way to walk.

I am getting into
character of uncle.

What character are you getting in.
- You'll come to know.

Neither Nagma's phone is reachable,
nor her address is able to locate...

...where should I find Nagma?

On top of that,
every guy here is ogling at me.

Are you looking for Nagma's address?

Pardon?

Yes, we are.

Nagma's house is the last one
on this lane. - Thank you.

Thank you. - Radhe Radhe.
- Radhe Radhe?

He means, thank you for
showing the right path.

How much for bangles?

What are you doing?
- Hundred rupees.

I too have got into character.
- I know.

What are you guys doing?
Let's go.

I'll buy it later.
Thank you.

There it is. Madina Buliding.

Oh no! There are stairs here.

It's difficult to see through.
- I'll help you climb the stairs.

Come on. - I am nervous. - Let's go.

Not this side, go on other side.

I cannot see anything
through this burqa.

I fear, I might enter a shrine.

Put the veil down.
If we get caught...

...we'll be dead...

...and will be taken wrapped in
white cloth. - Stop talking rubbish.

No, we are here to marry
and build family. Let's go.

God, please save us!

Be careful.

Ring the bell?
- Go ahead.

Bismillah. Bismillah.

Asalam
- Khuda Hafiz.

Khuda Hafiz.

What are you saying?
Ring the bell again.

He means to say Hello.

Hello.

Who are you people? - I am Munne...
- Uddin.

Moinuddin.

And I am Shyampal Yadav... Yaduddin.

And she is my daughter Sureshuddin.

Actually, we have come to see Nagma.

Your voice is weird, isn't it?

Are you planning to make her sing?

(Singing song)

Why do you want to see Nagma?

We want to see her in
regards with wedding.

All right, come in.

Who is it, mother?

Family of prospective groom is here.

Maybe they have come
with marriage proposal.

All the words of Urdu
that I have learnt...

...I will mention them all.
- It's is called Alfaz.

What's that?
- Forget it.

We are Shrukravar Guruvar...
- He means Shukraguzar...

...we are grateful to you.

He loves kidding.

Then say it that you are kidding.
- Let us also have some laugh.

Yes.

Hope this is vegetarian.
- Excuse me?

No drinks have meat in it.

I won't marry Moienuddin.

What's wrong with him? - There is little
bit of right in that wrong person.

You know there are before and
after photographs at dieticians?

He seems to be one of the formers.

Look...
Moienuddin might be good at heart.

No. - And maybe he is
also a good earner.

Otherwise mother would
never accepted his proposal.

And anyway, mother wishes...

...you to get married
as soon as possible.

Now it's on you...

...whether you want to fulfill
your wish or mother's wish.

Make it fast.

After cleaning this,
you also need to clean there.

You need not worry.

I will clean it in ten minutes.
- Ten minutes? - Yes.

After this you also need to cook,
wash dishes...

...and also clean the floor.

Oh Jigara,
rather I have served that policemen.

In return I would've got
served with hot food in jail.

How long I need to work?

Two.

Only by 2 pm?

I mean 2nd of next month.

What?
- And today it's 3rd.

(Talking Urdu words)

(Talking Urdu words)

Who are these people, sister-in-law?

They are here with
marriage proposal.

He is Akram. My brother-in-law.

Hello.
- Hello.

Please help yourselves.

Sure.

Ram!!!
- What did you say?

He is saying 'Mara Mara (I am dead)'

Actually,
his suffers from high cholestrol.

He will die,
if he consumes oily food.

Taste a little.
- No, you see...

...it's my Monday fast.

Therefore I can just smell this.

I cannot even taste it.

You have it at least.
- I'll get hitched if I have it.

Hitched? Why?

She means the food will
stick in her teeth.

She didn't carry toothbrush with her.
- Yes, I didn't.

You unveil your face at least.

Such things sounds good
in forwarded messages...

...and not in real.

Now I getting doubtful about you.

We won't accept the marriage
proposal unless you show your face.

Brother,
now you must show your face.

Drink got spilled!
Where is the bathroom?

Come, I'll take you to the washroom.

Come. - No, I need to go to bathroom.
- I am taking you there only.

Come this way.
- Sure.

Washroom means bathroom.
- Yes. Toilet.

Is everything fine?
- Yes. It must be fine.

He is badly stuck.

Problem is going to arise.
- Cross your fingers, uncle.

You look haute. - If you get waxing
done, I shall also marry you.

God!

Looking at you, your family
seems genuine and well-to-do.

Yes.

The girl married in
your family will live happily.

What do you think?

Nagma and her sister
both are beautiful.

Say yes for marriage.

We are ready for this marriage.

That's a great news.

Have sweets and break your fast.
- Have sweets, son-in-law.

This is special
dessert of Hyderabad.

Of course.
- Now when everything is decided...

...let's see Nagma as well.

Actually, we thought...

...why to spoil
the mood with bad news.

She suffered heart
attack last night.

She is hospitalized.

Heart attack!
How?

Some badass...

...sent her his
shirtless photographs.

She was shocked.
- Disgusting.

She suffered two and half
heart attacks in three minutes.

Because of such men, the entire
community of men get defamed.

He sent such vulgur photographs.
Look.

Look at it!

Look. - Even the hairs
on his chest can be seen.

Seeing this her eyes
must have also suffered.

My husband is looking
for that shameless guy.

He will chop off his
entire family's legs.

Why the entire family?

Just chop off his legs.

Maybe he was helpless.

Why to make wrong
judgement about anyone?

What was the need to
send such nude photos?

Though nude,
but look at his disgusting body.

Are you some handsome hunk?
I mean he is not at all handsome.

Done?

Look, enough of this
talk about voilence.

Can we visit Nagma...

...at hospital?

Sure, we'll take you there. Come.

Earlier I thought you
just bad mouthed...

...but today I realised
your character is also bad.

Is it?

Look at this. I am not bad
but your would-be wife is.

She accepted
your marriage proposal...

...and she was flirting
with me as well.

She is one who was stepping
on two stones at a time.

Then why didn't you tell me before?

I warned you that online
matchs cannot be trusted.

But you ignored by
calling me old fashioned.

I had no other option
to prove myself right.

Munnes...

Is he your real uncle?
- Yes, he is.

And he has lost his mind.

Nagma is on bed number 2.
You can see her if you wish.

Direct on bed?
- Shut up.

Thank you.

Hello.
- Yes?

Where is Nagma?
- On that bed.

Thank you.

Nagma, I am Munne...

Is she Nagma?

Yes, she is Nagma.

She's Nagma?!

Shhh.

This is hospital. And she is Nagma.

The day that guy
who sent photos is found...

...I will chop him
into as many pieces...

...as I have not even
butchered goats until now.

Can't you people take
it easy and peacefully?

Chop the vegetables if you want.

Cut the power of someone if you
want. But be little peaceful.

Hail!

I mean...

I mean to say...

...even if some guy have
sent any photo by mistake...

...you are planning to
hang his photo on wall.

Just ignore it as some
forwarded message.

Why you want to take his life?

Are you married?

Excuse me?

I visited Nagma.

You start with wedding preparations,
we'll take a leave.

How was it on bed?

Nothing happened on bed.

The girl with whom I was
planning my grand wedding...

...she turned out to be an old lady.
- What!

She looks quite young in video.

Maybe we came late. - What
nonsense are you talking, uncle.

It means Munnes,
you were going to marry an old lady?

You would've directly
had grandchildren then.

Stop talking rubbish.

Thank God we came to
know before wedding.

While taking vows, if the old lady
had passed, you would've got blamed.

You are saved because of me.

Come on, let's go. - Saved
because of you, is it? - But...

...it's the old lady with
whom uncle was chatting.

But where is the girl
with whom we had a word.

Let's talk upfront.

Hello.

Where are you right now?

I am at my home in Hyderabad.

We too are in Hyderabad.

What? Just today we had a word
and you are already here? How?

Forget that. Where exactly are you in
Hyderabad? Please give you address again.

Madina Building.
- Right.

Iqbal Chudiwala lane.
- Right.

Behind the shop of Abdul,
behind the mosque.

Right.

Hyderabad.
- Right.

Pakistan.
- Right.

Pakistan?
- Oh no!

She is in Pakistan.

Damn it!

Nagma, you are in Hyderabad,
Pakistan?

Want to say just three
words of you to you.

Hail Mother India!
- Hail Mother India! - Done. Over.

I believe God was in bad mood...

...therefore he wrote bad
luck in your destiny.

God was in a mood to
play prank with Munnes.

I know my luck is bad.

No need to mention.

Yes Pandit. tell me.

Congratulations on wedding.

Hell with your wishes.

Even this wedding called off.
- Don't mind...

...your nephew has become
synonym to bad luck.

Nothing works out for him.
- Is he praising me?

Yes.

Thank you, Panditji.

I'll find marriage proposals
for your nephew if you suggest.

Bye.

Where can he find the girl?

Looking for a girl?

Are you a priest or a lusty person?
- Shiv!

I am looking a girl for wedding.

A family of a guy
is looking for a bride for him.

But not finding anyone.

The sought-after himself
has walked to the seeker.

I know a nice beautiful girl,
Panditji. - Really?

Yes. Her name is Mohini.
- That's good.

But the boy has a clause.

He will marry just for a day.

Is this the clause or the fondness?
- It's helplessness.

There is a fault in his stars.

He cannot marry his dream partner...

...unless he goes through a divorce.

Even the girl has
same sort of clause.

Wow! That's great.

Yes Panditji, tell me.

One more proposal
is found for Munnes.

How do you find so quickly?

As if you wait
outside girl's hostel.

Where is the girl from?
The girl is from Jhansi.

You meet me at Jhansi
station tomorrow morning.

I will take care of the rest.

All right, I'll inform uncle.
- Okay.

Thank you.

Work done.

Uncle, how is aunt doing?

Your aunt has lost her mind.

She is making me clean the clothes.
What are you saying!

Listen. Panditji has found a girl
in Jhansi. He has called us there.

At Jhansi? Then what about Nagma?

It didn't work out with Nagma,
uncle.

It's like we went for
a new sports car...

...which turned out
to be a vintage car.

I'll explain you rest when we meet.

You come to Jhansi.
And listen.

Put yourself at stake and not
the train tickets, okay?

Everyone tries to give lessons.