The Governor (1995–1996): Season 2, Episode 3 - Episode #2.3 - full transcript
Hey! You!
I'm onto you.
I know all about you.
I'm sick to death
with people talking about me
behind my back.
I'm gonna write to
the home secretary about this.
Lockup!
Lockup!
There's deals
going down all the time.
Every day.
Every night.
What's a fax machine?
Put that bastard
on the wing, and I'll kill him.
Bastards.
Put it down!
Now!
Ah, no!
You talk to him...
and you're dead.
Your moaning and your whingeing.
You'll be sick
when I'm gone, Eugene Buffy!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You'll be sick about me too,
because in two weeks, I gone.
I've got a visitor.
It's me dad.
I want to see me dad.
Snoopy?
I'm sorry you've been left
hanging about.
Ohh, you've been
asking for this.
Aah!
Oh!
I can sing.
I can sing that!
I was mistaken.
Nothing happened.
You obviously haven't spoken
to Mr. Andrews.
Well, I'm sorry to be the one
to have to tell you,
but as from 9:00 tomorrow,
I am the official governor
of Barfield Prison.
Brian?
Brian.
I wanted to see you
before your release.
I've got all me documents.
Me brother's coming
to pick me up.
Wanted to wish you luck, Brian.
Nice one. Cheers.
Now, you know your restrictions?
Yeah, I'm gonna go straight
to me probation officer,
and he's gonna help me
further me education.
Keep it up, Brian.
- Cheers.
- Good luck.
See you, lads.
I'm going for a bevvy.
I'm out.
Free!
I'm out!
Yes, man!
Whoo-hoo!
Release my brother!
Release my brother!
Yes, Brian.
Release that man!
Free, brother!
Free at last!
Free at last!
Free at last!
Come on, now.
Trolley's on the wing.
Come on, Eugene. It's not like
you to be late down for lunch.
The trolley's on the wing.
Nah, I'm not hungry, gov.
You're not sick, are you?
I'm just not hungry.
Can you go away?
All right.
Suit yourself.
What's up with you, Kevin?
You're not hungry either?
No.
Everybody done?
Hully?
- Yeah, all done.
- Thank you.
Hello, Eugene.
It's hamburgers today.
Eh, did you hear the musical's
not gonna be scrapped?
It's great, isn't it?
Piss off.
Ja-son!
Ja-son!
Ja-son!
Come on, back to your cell.
Eugene Buffy and Kevin Watts,
not hungry.
And what's up with you?
That little shit
keeps this up...
- He's at it all day long.
- Who's at what?
Keith Smith,
keeps on calling out my name.
Oh, well, if that's all
you got worrying you, sunshine.
We've got three new inmates
due over.
- Ignore it, right?
- Oh, shit, they're here now.
Right, get everybody
back in the cells.
Come on, gents.
Move along back to your cells.
Stop chattering.
Come along.
You might have
all the time in the world.
- Unfortunately, I don't.
- Back to your cell, please.
Keep moving.
Morning, Malcolm.
Now, I want to work towards
making one wing
entirely drug-free.
You must be joking.
The only way you'll make
a prison drug free
is to stop
all visitation rights.
That'd do it.
- Glad to have you back with us.
- Thank you, Len.
Good to be back.
Thanks.
You had a call
from a Mr. Ishmail
and one from a Mr. Simon Lennox.
Oh, did he say
what it was about?
He wanted an appointment
for tomorrow.
Simon.
No, Mr. Ishmail.
Mavis, I have told you,
if somebody calls,
try to find out what it's about.
- At least find out who they are.
- I'm sorry.
That's it for now.
Um, I think Mr. Ishmail
is a lawyer.
And I'll check on Simon Lennox.
Simon Lennox is also a lawyer,
as well as my partner,
boyfriend, lover.
You don't need his number, then.
Yes, I did, Mavis,
because he's in Australia.
I'll make a note of that.
All right, Barry?
Right, I'm gonna be around if
you want to ask any questions.
Kevin here
will show you the ropes.
- Did you get some lunch?
- Yes, sir.
Right, well, it's lockup now
for an hour,
and then we open up again.
And I'll take you through
any workshop details
and any classes
you might want to sign up for.
- All right, son?
- Great. Thank you, sir.
Not as bad as I thought
it was gonna be in here.
Bit like a YMCA.
What are you in for?
I'm on remand, waiting for
me solicitor to come and see me.
He reckons I might get off
'cause there was something wrong
with the way they arrested me.
Hey!
I'm not interested.
I don't want to hear about some
petty little shit
who reckons he's at Butlin's,
all right?
Is it all right
if I put this up?
Only I have no Sellotape.
Have you got any Sellotape
or Blu-Tack?
Look, everything I've got
is mine.
Touch one thing of mine, and
I'll break your bleeding neck.
All right?
And don't talk to me
unless I tell you that you can.
Now, have you got that?
Ferret features.
- Sorry...
- Shut up!
Shut up.
You settle in all right,
Mr. Mahill?
I told you I wanted to be
on me own, you bastard.
I told you I didn't want to be
bunking up with anyone.
I'm sorry, Eugene,
but this is a double cell...
I want to be on me own!
All right, Eugene,
just calm down.
I'll go and get the S.O.
Yeah, yeah, go on, go on.
Piss off!
Don't talk to me like that,
Eugene.
- Get out!
- Calm down!
Oi!
What's going on here?
You pair of pricks don't seem
to understand plain English.
I told you and I told him
that I didn't want to be
bunking up with anyone.
You just watch your mouth,
Eugene.
There's no single cells
available, and that's that.
You wanker!
Step out the cell.
I'm not going anywhere.
Right. I'm warning you, Eugene.
I'm warning you.
♪ I want you to show me ♪
♪ I want to feel what love is ♪
♪ I know you can show me ♪
Calm down!
Bastards!
Let me go!
Put me down!
Calm down, Eugene.
- You bastards!
- Calm down.
- Get off!
- Calm down.
Get off!
Jason! Jason!
Leave him, Jason!
I cannot accept that
as an excuse, Mr. Snooper.
But that's the truth.
I honestly
don't remember anything.
I'm due out in four days.
Correction, Mr. Snooper,
you were due for release.
I don't remember what I did.
Been told.
I'm sorry.
I can't tell you how sorry I am,
but I don't remember nothing
about it.
This is a very serious charge.
You committed rape.
But Miss Bullock doesn't want to
press charges.
Outside the prison.
That does not mean that we will
ignore the assault.
To the contrary.
But I don't remember!
I swear on my daughter's life.
Miss Hewitt, I don't remember.
I was stoned.
But you weren't
under the influence
when you left the wing.
Or are you now saying
that you were?
No, I was straight, honest.
So do you now accept
full responsibility
for having these substances
on your person?
Yeah.
I guess I am.
Which is also an offense.
I'm sorry.
Would you tell me how you came
to be in possession
of these substances?
I found them.
I wouldn't be stupid enough
to bring gear in here.
I'm going out.
I am due for release.
No, you're not, Mr. Snooper.
Take him back to the cell.
But she's not pressing charges.
You can't keep me here!
Cheryl, I've got
a message for you.
If you get in that box,
you'll end up in one.
Understand?
I've got friends.
One word.
Come on, Mr. Smith.
We've got people waiting.
Sorry.
I had to talk to my brief,
Mr. Chiswick.
Important.
For my trial an' all.
Nosh is good in here, isn't it?
Great gym.
I'm gonna learn
how to work a computer.
Put me name down.
Got a visit
with me solicitor tomorrow.
Oh, yeah.
Tell him not to bother
getting you out.
I've got a visit tomorrow.
Those pictures of her?
She's pregnant.
Eight months.
Cracks me up seeing her.
Everything's such a mess.
It's a boy.
We know it's a boy 'cause, um,
Anna had a scan, and, uh...
I want to see him born.
Can I have your dinner?
Take a look at your client's
criminal record, Mr. Turnbull.
He had already taken an officer
hostage at his previous prison.
He has served
a number of lengthy sentences
for serious crimes.
Do not try
and make him out to be
some sickly,
hard-done-by creature,
when he is obviously
a very dangerous one.
Where do you bastards get off?
Right now we have
one of the best officers
I've ever come across
unable to come back to work
because of your client.
He nearly killed him!
Yes, Mr. Marshall, I'm very
concerned for Mr. Morgan.
But my client, Mr. Falla,
has made repeated requests
for his case to be reviewed.
It was due to his anxiety
and his frustration
that the hostage situation
arose.
I will agree
to two-week recuperation period.
I want Mr. Falla fit and well to
answer the charges against him.
Thank you.
Well, I'm glad we've been able
to come
to some amicable settlement.
No.
Mr. Marshall, could you please
see Mr. Turnbull to the gates?
- Nice to see you again, Davyd.
- Yeah. See you, Tony.
Ah, Dr. Harris, could you
shut the door a moment, please?
Actually he's quite
a nice bloke, you know?
Really?!
Aye, great rugby fullback,
Anthony, yeah.
Yeah, Cambridge Blue.
Played for England.
I want Falla's
previous medical records
gone over
with a fine-tooth comb.
I want that man fitter
and healthier
in two weeks' time
than he has ever been
in his entire nasty,
vicious little life.
Is that quite understood?
- Playboy magazines.
- Yep.
- Pencil sharpener.
- Yep.
- Game Boy.
- Yep.
- Okay, CDs... Bob Marley.
- Bob Marley.
- Bob Marley.
- Bob Marley.
Bob Marley.
I told my social worker,
and she said to speak to you,
Mr. Chiswick.
He goes on and on and on
and won't stop.
I'm gonna hit him.
- I'll hit him.
- All right, Roddy.
I said I'll speak to him,
and I will.
Go on.
Back in a second.
Keith Smith!
Me?
What do you want me for?
You leave Roddy alone.
We all know
what he's in here for,
and he doesn't need reminding
of it.
Me, I never said a word to him,
Mr. Chiswick.
Well, you keep it that way,
Mr. Smith.
Black bastard.
You little fruit and nut.
I'll ram up that up
your fat ass, little squealer.
But it could work.
I mean, we're the same height.
And...
Lockup!
Another thing...
When they brought me in,
the photo booth wasn't working.
They don't have a photo of me.
Yeah, but the officers know me.
Some of them do.
Lockup!
No, we'd never get away with it.
It's crazy.
Oh, well.
I offered.
I mean, he was certain
I'd be out.
Out within a week.
That's what he said.
Man, you're covered in tats.
Oh, yeah.
Got 16 of them.
Hey, and two on me thighs.
Do you want to see?
Lockup!
They'll have them listed,
you prat.
Oh, right.
I hadn't thought of that.
Lights out!
Nice and quiet in here,
isn't it?
Lights out!
Sleep well in here tonight.
Good night.
Shut him up!
Shut up!
You shut up as well, Eugene!
You're making just as much noise
as he is!
I'm here on punishment!
If you can't control
that bastard,
I'm gonna complain!
Do you frigging hear me?!
Tarzan, will you give us a break
and shut your noise?!
Yeah, come on, eh?! You're gonna
be off for seeing your dad!
Oi!
Anyone complaining on me here?!
I'm complaining, you big ape!
Shut your noise, Tarzan!
Oh, you will be!
Do you hear me?!
I'm not scared!
Morning.
Sorry I haven't been able
to get to rehearsals.
How are they going?
Fine, but, uh,
Eugene Buffy's missing.
He's a good part of the chorus.
He can't sing, but he likes to
act as assistant director.
He's on punishment. He should be
back on the wing today.
How often have you seen
Russell Morgan?
Who?
The officer involved
in the hostage.
Oh, yes.
Well, I've called in on him
a couple of times,
and I've spoken to his wife.
Sorry. I got a bit caught up
in my own problems.
I can arrange to see him.
I think you should.
So...
How are things with you?
Fine, thank you.
Fine.
I keep myself busy, you know?
Mr. Snooper is being held
on the block.
Yes, I know.
I suppose he's available
to be in the musical now.
I take it that was a joke?
Yes.
It was a joke.
Are you sleeping all right?
Oh, really,
this isn't necessary.
- Are you?
- Yes, Helen.
I am aware that I hold
a very responsible position
at Barfield,
and I don't like feeling
that I have to be
constantly reassuring you
of my capabilities.
If you have a problem...
Annette, I do not
have a problem.
I need to make sure
that you don't have one either.
You had a horrific experience.
And it is behind me.
Okay.
I know you've contacted
my last...
The last prison I worked in.
You spoke to Michael Hilliard.
Yes, I did.
Annette...
I'm not prying.
It's just that
I am responsible for you,
and I want you to know that
if you need anybody to talk to,
then I am here for you,
just as I would hope that you
would be there for me
should I ever need anybody
to talk to.
What did Michael say about me?
He was very complimentary.
I hear Officer Jackson's
playing a big part.
Yes, he is.
But I haven't cast it all yet.
Do you sing?
Oh! God forbid.
Tone-deaf.
I just felt a deep depression
coming over me, Miss Hewitt.
Wanted to be on my own.
Sorry.
You can't make demands,
Mr. Buffy.
Do you understand that?
Yes, ma'am.
However, when a single cell
becomes available,
I will see to it
that you're on the list.
Thank you very much,
Miss Hewitt.
Very considerate.
Welcome back.
Thank you, Eugene.
Take him back to the wing.
You want to sort out that maniac
down the block, though?
Kept everyone awake
screaming and yelling.
It's like a zoo down there.
All right, guys! A complaint!
Let's go.
Workshops.
Jones.
Let's go.
Come on, lads.
Hurry up.
Workshops.
Let's go.
Workshops!
Eugene!
No, it's all right.
I've got a bit of earache.
Ah, you're a regular
hypochondriac, Roddy.
And Eric, Eric!
Hey, hey!
What?
You won't get that lead, mate.
Whoever heard
of a slaphead juvenile lead?
Buffy's having a go at me.
Mr. Jackson,
he's having a go at me!
Yes, will you move?
Come on.
I've got more hair
between the cheeks of my ass.
Thanks for sharing that
with me, Eugene.
Good morning.
- Roddy, come on.
- Come on, lads.
So slow, I'm beginning
to forget me name.
Come on!
Move it!
Ja-son!
Ja-son!
I know it's you, Smith.
Just cut it out.
You skiving off workshop, Kevin?
Um, I've got a migraine,
Mr. Hully.
- I need to get some sleep.
- All right.
Ma'am.
You have a visiting order
for this afternoon
for your father,
Mr. E.S. Braithwaite.
Yes.
And I've asked,
on compassionate grounds,
that I don't see him
in the no-contact section.
It'll be the last time, you see?
He's... He's very sick.
I know.
If you promise
that you'll behave yourself,
I'll agree to it.
Yes, Miss Hewitt.
Best behavior.
Best behavior.
Thank you, Officer Horrocks.
Johnson, ma'am.
First group of visitors,
checked and coming through.
I'm here because
I have serious allegations
against one of your inmates,
a Mr. Keith Smith.
Uh, Mr. Smith is currently
awaiting trial.
For armed robbery.
He's a particularly unpleasant
and violent man
with two previous sentences
for similar offenses.
One of my witnesses
who knew Mr. Smith at one time
has received numerous
threatening phone calls.
It seems to me
to be quite extraordinary
that a man
who has been refused bail
because of his previous record
of attempting to scare witnesses
at his last trial
is given free access
to a telephone
and able
to use prison-issue phone cards.
I couldn't agree with you more.
And I'm confident that as
you were not cautioned
and went to the station
on your own free will,
the charges against you
might well be dropped.
I'm very hopeful to get bail
within a few days.
- Couple of days?
- I'm sorry, Barry.
It's okay.
I like it here.
Tell me again what he said?
They're gonna be casting
the musical this afternoon.
Can't wait.
I've been singing all the solos.
Have you ever seen "Mikado,"
Mum?
I love it!
It's brilliant.
I've been singing "Titwillow,"
"Wand'ring Minstrel."
He started kicking last night,
and I just lay there
and I cried.
I cried all night.
I want to be with you.
You know that.
It's all I think about,
day in, day out,
that he's gonna be born
and I'm not gonna be there.
Anna, don't.
Listen to me.
Listen to me.
I might be.
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
I might be able to get out.
What do you mean, like...
Like compassionate leave?
Oh, that would be wonderful,
Kev.
- No.
- When?
It's not compassionate leave,
and it might not work.
I can't discuss it now.
I'll call you, tell you more.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
How you doing,
Mr. Braithwaite?
Been better, son.
Oh, Snoopy,
I just don't understand you.
God.
You were due out.
Did you get into a fight?
God, I mean,
how can they keep you in here
for that amount of time
for no good reason?
Oz, look at me!
I'm your wife, damn it!
I don't know.
I don't want to take about it,
all right?
You hear me?
God.
Keep mum
about the wheelie, lads.
Here he is, Mr. Braithwaite.
Here, have a seat.
Here.
Tea and biscuits.
The chocolate orange ones.
You like them.
Do you want sugar?
Yes.
Three.
Three.
Bit different from my days.
Very nice.
There you are.
Ta.
Biscuit?
You not having one?
No, no.
I don't use sugar.
Anyway, they're for you.
What you don't eat,
you can take home with you.
- Do you want a biscuit?
- No, thanks.
You all right, Mr. Braithwaite?
Want a doctor?
You want a snout?
No, I don't smoke.
You've got...
You've got smaller.
Yeah.
You've lost a lot of weight.
I'm 72!
Here you go.
Old lag
used to pass out
these boiled sweets.
Every morning I'd see him
passing them out to the screws.
I says, "Hey, what are you doing
sucking up to the screws?"
And he says to me, "I'm not.
I hate the buggers."
So I says, "You're a liar.
Every morning I see you
handing them out to the screws."
"Aye," he says,
"but every night I stick them up
me ass, then rewrap them."
I tell you what,
I'm glad I didn't have
one of them biscuits.
That was Parkhurst.
Codes jail, Parkhurst.
Nobody ever squealed from there.
It's a codes jail, that's why.
You know all about tough guys,
don't you, Dad?
I know one thing...
If I'd done 20 years' stir,
I wouldn't have got out
and been back 60 days later.
Sitting on the steps of Barclays
with a shotgun and a balaclava
is not a tough guy.
Dumb, maybe.
Been banged up so long
you didn't know what time
the effing bank opened.
Another seven years.
That's all you got.
I'm writing a book about prison.
Huh.
Proud of it all, are you, son?
What you
calling yourself Tarzan for?
Bloody stupid.
It's for wrestling.
It's like that gladiator show
on the telly.
They've all got names.
Here.
I done these for you.
They're poems.
Take them home.
I've not got a home.
I'm in a welfare place.
I'm going to die in it.
Don't die in a prison, Vic.
You can't beat the system.
In the end, it beats you.
It's a zoo, all right.
But your name's
Victor Braithwaite,
not Tarzan!
Lord of the apes.
And that your mother's name's
Barbara, aged 43.
Sister called Diana, aged 6.
Address, 44 Elmsworth Crescent.
Your Auntie Carol
lives with you,
your mother's younger sister.
Your dad left in 1985.
Your mother works in a laundry.
You went to school at, um...
How do they look?
Oh, they look great, Kev.
Ink's fading just right.
Uh, don't forget the dog.
What's his name?
Archie, right?
Well, where did you
go to school?
Elmwood Comprehensive,
just at the top of our road.
I worked for 18 months.
Where?
Oh...
Sandlers Printworks.
You got fired and went to work
at the candle factory.
You've had measles, mumps,
chicken pox,
and, uh, your wisdom teeth out.
Do you think
they'll ask me about that?
I'm only telling you what's
written on me admittance slip.
Now, you're sure
they've got no photo of you
when you came into Barfield?
Yeah, said it wasn't working.
What do we do now, then?
Wait.
Nothing else we can do.
Just have to wait.
Was he very close to his father?
When your old man dies,
it's hard, you know?
You see your own mortality.
He knows he's not gonna
be with him or see him again.
I'll go
and have a word with him.
Be careful.
I'm... I'm Chaplain Fuller.
If there's anything you'd like
to talk to me about.
Is anybody there?!
Answer me!
Is there anybody there?!
♪ But if patriotic sentiment
is wanted ♪
Arms up.
One, two, three, four,
five, six.
To the right.
One, two, three, down.
One, two, three, down.
Lunge, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
What's the matter with Eric?
He's been cast as one of
the little maids from school.
He's not a happy man.
Okay, guys, guys, guys, guys.
All line up behind me.
I've got the steps.
I'll show you the steps.
Really small steps
'cause we're playing Chinks.
What's up?
I'm not doing it.
It's not fair.
Just run through it again,
Miss Purvis. Slow tempo.
I can't do it.
I look a right idiot.
You'll be wearing a wig.
And I'm playing a girl as well.
I know that, stupid.
That's not the point.
I just don't want to
play that part.
Suit yourself.
March, two, three, four.
Five, six.
Arms!
Now two steps to the right.
To the left.
One, two...
- Oh!
- Shit, right. Sorry, sorry.
- Annette...
- Sorry! The right. Okay.
Oswald Snooper
has asked to see you.
Now, obviously...
No, I'm sorry,
I don't want to see him.
And I don't think
this is the time or the place
even to discuss it.
Excuse me.
Get to the end here,
drop your fan.
She's supposed to be
the psychologist.
Right, come on.
Once more from the top
before the end of rehearsal,
please.
I do like your cardigan.
Oh, I knitted it myself.
I also do crochet
and needlepoint.
- So do I.
- Oh!
I've just got a lovely pattern
for a bedspread!
Miss Purvis.
From the top, please.
I'm sorry.
She's on drugs.
And one, two, three, four...
Short steps!
Seven, eight.
And two, three, four...
We've got to have
a staff meeting, Miss Hewitt.
HOS is juggling officers around.
These rehearsals
take a lot of organization.
We're really stretched
on my wing without S.O. Morgan.
Well, I've arranged for
P.O. Brent to cover on your wing
until Mr. Morgan's
replacement arrives.
Governor.
And I want Keith Smith's
phone card removed.
Waste of time.
He'd get another or steal one.
You do one, you're gonna have to
do them all.
- Keep practicing.
- Yeah, yeah.
Chiswick for C Wing.
You're always making a
fuss, Eric. You're pathetic.
- Is that shepherd's pie?
- Yeah.
- Is that vegetable soup?
- Should be oxtail.
Here, who's that bloke
over there?
He's not been
on our wing before, has he?
Stop nattering.
Come on, Roddy, get a move on.
I'm not creating a fuss.
I just don't want to put a
bloody frock on, and that's it.
Bloody conspiracy.
You look bad enough now,
but everyone'll think
you're a poofter, right?
Shut up.
Is it roly-poly today?
I love that, me.
Custard.
If you don't want your pudding,
I'll have it.
You butlering for Kevin again,
are you?
What's going on between you two?
You ain't a shirtlifter,
are you, Barry?
No, I'm not.
Kevin's got a migraine.
Shove off.
Keith Smith.
Keep your eye on him.
Cell number 22.
Might get in a paddy.
We're taking his phone card
off him, okay?
All right.
Jason.
Ja-son!
Ja-son!
Mr. Bryant, would you tell
prisoner number 741...
Jones, Barry...
To pack up his gear?
He's been released.
2:00.
Right, I'll look for the list
and find out who's who.
- All right.
- Okay.
Ta.
Kev.
What?
Kev!
I've just been told.
I'm out at 2:00.
- When?
- Today.
I told you, didn't I?
I told you.
Today?
But I'm not ready.
I-I won't be able to.
It's too soon.
I'll go in the box!
Put me in the cage!
Put me in the cage!
Aaaaah!
Come on!
- Come on!
- Tarzan.
Tarzan.
Right, let's have your trays,
lads.
Come on, Kevin, liven up.
Barry, you get
your kit packed up.
I'll be back for you
before lockup.
See?
I told you, didn't I?
I told you.
He's new on the wing.
He doesn't know who anyone is.
And he's taking me to reception.
Right.
Split shields.
Will you talk to me, Tarzan?
Mm.
- Mm.
- Okay.
I understand you must be very
upset about your father, Tarzan.
No, no, no,
you do not understand,
'cause he never did.
My father.
Father's the sweetie man.
Sweetie man.
Do you know what he did?
He wrapped chocolate biscuits up
in my poems.
And he'll never look at them.
He'll never look at them!
He's not interested!
Don't think he ever was.
Eh?
He's dying! He's dying, right?
But what does he come in
and tell me?
What a hard man he is.
All the time he spent in prison.
All six months of it.
But what about me?!
What about me?!
'Cause I tell you, I'm...
I'm tired.
I'm... I'm really tired!
I am really, really tired!
I'm tired!
I'm sick and tired of you!
Asshole!
- Prisoner 741, Jones?
- Yeah.
Got all your kit?
Step out, son.
Go with the others.
♪ I'm walking,
yes, I'm walking ♪
♪ And I'll keep on walking ♪
♪ And talking my way
out of here ♪
♪ So I'm walking,
yes, I'm walking ♪
♪ And I'll keep on walking ♪
♪ And talking my way
out of here ♪
Look, I've never made
a threatening phone call
in my life.
I swear on my mother's life.
I have never made
a threatening phone call.
I'm gonna take your phone card.
That's illegal.
Mr. Jackson to the TV room.
I'm on remand!
Remand!
We know you've been making
threatening phone calls.
No, I ain't.
That's a lie.
Right!
That's enough!
Put it down.
Put it down now.
Back to your cells.
Come on, move it.
Officer Brent
with prisoner 741, Barry Jones.
Outer gate.
Officer Brent.
Officer Gordon.
Good afternoon, Mr. Brent.
Hope you're behaving yourself,
Stanley.
Yeah, thank you, Mr. Brent.
I can't give in
to any inmate's demands.
Next thing,
we'd have cons asking for
extra sugar on their pudding.
Eh?
Extra exercise,
extra time on association.
And we can have that, can we?
You're a reasonable man.
You have got to see things
from our side.
Hmm?
Okay.
Put your kit on the table, son,
and start stripping off.
All right, Vern.
Um, 741, Jones.
Okay.
Right, Barry.
Go and take a shower.
I'll get your gear.
Know anything
about Russell Morgan?
No.
Few of us got a kitty together,
sent him some fruit
when he was in the hospital.
- Yeah, I know that.
- Checked himself out.
I think he's had
a nervous breakdown.
That's the rumor I heard.
Right.
Huh, no photo.
- Mr. Jones?
- Yep.
Just step out a second.
Just want to check your tattoos.
Forearms and thighs.
Let's have a look at you.
My, my.
Got enough anchors, have you?
You young people getting
yourselves all inked up.
Macho image.
Now then, Jumbo.
Hello, Vernon.
Here, Jumbo, you seen
the state of that prat there?
Covered in them he is.
I don't know.
Got to be stupid, I think.
What?
Well, to get a tattoo.
Oh.
Like that one, you mean?
Can you hang on down here?
I'm expecting somebody in
from Walton.
Yeah, no problem.
You know, I can't believe
they've still got that lunatic
down the block.
What, Tarzan?
He's a psychiatric case.
I don't know why they bother.
If he was a dog,
they'd put him down.
Here.
Come on, son.
We haven't got all day.
Jacket, shirt, and vest.
And what did you have
in your wallet, son?
Um, I had a £5 note
and a bus pass.
I also had 75 pence in change.
I took a tenner out.
Yeah, all right, son.
Okay, let's get you sorted.
He never even looked
at my poems, you know?
They were my way
of talking to him.
We never, ever could talk.
Now he's dying, and...
And it's the pain.
Would you like to be
on your own now?
Mm.
Yeah.
Okay, what we'll do
is we'll leave it
for a couple of days,
and then
we'll talk like this again.
Just you and me.
Every day, if you want.
But you have got to agree
to be quiet,
not upset everybody else.
Okay?
Okay.
Thank you for talking to me.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Oh.
No. Come on.
What I'm thinking of doing
is maybe change the names,
so that it fits in
with the prison staff.
And, uh, what's that other one?
- Poo-poo?
- No, poo-bah.
Poo-bah.
Poo-bah is the loyal executioner
of everything else.
Come on, son.
They're waiting for you
at the gate.
Just called in about you.
I walked in
on rehearsals yesterday.
It's like "The Twilight Zone"
in there.
Oi!
You've got to sign out,
you know, son.
Vern, I'm gonna
get back on the wing.
- I'll see you later.
- Okay, Jumbo.
Right, son, want you to sign
there and there.
Gassing again, Curtis?
You'd better
get back on the wing.
You know
who's coming in from Walton?
This bloody idiot.
Oh, what?
I don't believe this.
Ah.
You still here?
Taking your time, aren't you?
Just on his way
to the gate, Gov.
I'll walk him through.
That's all right, Governor.
I'll take him down.
Come on, son.
Up you go.
Who's it whose coming in again?
Brian Samora.
Oh, not that Scouse pest.
Brian bloody Samora.
I've just checked him out.
I know.
Aah! Oh!
Take it easy!
These cuffs are too tight.
Look, I'm gonna make
an official complaint.
Samora? Samora?
Behave yourself, all right?
- I mean it.
- Brian.
I'm sorry, Miss Hewitt.
It was Sharon's fault.
She ditched me,
and I got bevvied.
I can't remember a thing.
Still, we're both back now, eh?
Move along.
♪ So, I'm walking,
yes, I'm walking ♪
♪ And I'll keep on walking ♪
Yes.
Yes.
Yes!
Yes!
I'm onto you.
I know all about you.
I'm sick to death
with people talking about me
behind my back.
I'm gonna write to
the home secretary about this.
Lockup!
Lockup!
There's deals
going down all the time.
Every day.
Every night.
What's a fax machine?
Put that bastard
on the wing, and I'll kill him.
Bastards.
Put it down!
Now!
Ah, no!
You talk to him...
and you're dead.
Your moaning and your whingeing.
You'll be sick
when I'm gone, Eugene Buffy!
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You'll be sick about me too,
because in two weeks, I gone.
I've got a visitor.
It's me dad.
I want to see me dad.
Snoopy?
I'm sorry you've been left
hanging about.
Ohh, you've been
asking for this.
Aah!
Oh!
I can sing.
I can sing that!
I was mistaken.
Nothing happened.
You obviously haven't spoken
to Mr. Andrews.
Well, I'm sorry to be the one
to have to tell you,
but as from 9:00 tomorrow,
I am the official governor
of Barfield Prison.
Brian?
Brian.
I wanted to see you
before your release.
I've got all me documents.
Me brother's coming
to pick me up.
Wanted to wish you luck, Brian.
Nice one. Cheers.
Now, you know your restrictions?
Yeah, I'm gonna go straight
to me probation officer,
and he's gonna help me
further me education.
Keep it up, Brian.
- Cheers.
- Good luck.
See you, lads.
I'm going for a bevvy.
I'm out.
Free!
I'm out!
Yes, man!
Whoo-hoo!
Release my brother!
Release my brother!
Yes, Brian.
Release that man!
Free, brother!
Free at last!
Free at last!
Free at last!
Come on, now.
Trolley's on the wing.
Come on, Eugene. It's not like
you to be late down for lunch.
The trolley's on the wing.
Nah, I'm not hungry, gov.
You're not sick, are you?
I'm just not hungry.
Can you go away?
All right.
Suit yourself.
What's up with you, Kevin?
You're not hungry either?
No.
Everybody done?
Hully?
- Yeah, all done.
- Thank you.
Hello, Eugene.
It's hamburgers today.
Eh, did you hear the musical's
not gonna be scrapped?
It's great, isn't it?
Piss off.
Ja-son!
Ja-son!
Ja-son!
Come on, back to your cell.
Eugene Buffy and Kevin Watts,
not hungry.
And what's up with you?
That little shit
keeps this up...
- He's at it all day long.
- Who's at what?
Keith Smith,
keeps on calling out my name.
Oh, well, if that's all
you got worrying you, sunshine.
We've got three new inmates
due over.
- Ignore it, right?
- Oh, shit, they're here now.
Right, get everybody
back in the cells.
Come on, gents.
Move along back to your cells.
Stop chattering.
Come along.
You might have
all the time in the world.
- Unfortunately, I don't.
- Back to your cell, please.
Keep moving.
Morning, Malcolm.
Now, I want to work towards
making one wing
entirely drug-free.
You must be joking.
The only way you'll make
a prison drug free
is to stop
all visitation rights.
That'd do it.
- Glad to have you back with us.
- Thank you, Len.
Good to be back.
Thanks.
You had a call
from a Mr. Ishmail
and one from a Mr. Simon Lennox.
Oh, did he say
what it was about?
He wanted an appointment
for tomorrow.
Simon.
No, Mr. Ishmail.
Mavis, I have told you,
if somebody calls,
try to find out what it's about.
- At least find out who they are.
- I'm sorry.
That's it for now.
Um, I think Mr. Ishmail
is a lawyer.
And I'll check on Simon Lennox.
Simon Lennox is also a lawyer,
as well as my partner,
boyfriend, lover.
You don't need his number, then.
Yes, I did, Mavis,
because he's in Australia.
I'll make a note of that.
All right, Barry?
Right, I'm gonna be around if
you want to ask any questions.
Kevin here
will show you the ropes.
- Did you get some lunch?
- Yes, sir.
Right, well, it's lockup now
for an hour,
and then we open up again.
And I'll take you through
any workshop details
and any classes
you might want to sign up for.
- All right, son?
- Great. Thank you, sir.
Not as bad as I thought
it was gonna be in here.
Bit like a YMCA.
What are you in for?
I'm on remand, waiting for
me solicitor to come and see me.
He reckons I might get off
'cause there was something wrong
with the way they arrested me.
Hey!
I'm not interested.
I don't want to hear about some
petty little shit
who reckons he's at Butlin's,
all right?
Is it all right
if I put this up?
Only I have no Sellotape.
Have you got any Sellotape
or Blu-Tack?
Look, everything I've got
is mine.
Touch one thing of mine, and
I'll break your bleeding neck.
All right?
And don't talk to me
unless I tell you that you can.
Now, have you got that?
Ferret features.
- Sorry...
- Shut up!
Shut up.
You settle in all right,
Mr. Mahill?
I told you I wanted to be
on me own, you bastard.
I told you I didn't want to be
bunking up with anyone.
I'm sorry, Eugene,
but this is a double cell...
I want to be on me own!
All right, Eugene,
just calm down.
I'll go and get the S.O.
Yeah, yeah, go on, go on.
Piss off!
Don't talk to me like that,
Eugene.
- Get out!
- Calm down!
Oi!
What's going on here?
You pair of pricks don't seem
to understand plain English.
I told you and I told him
that I didn't want to be
bunking up with anyone.
You just watch your mouth,
Eugene.
There's no single cells
available, and that's that.
You wanker!
Step out the cell.
I'm not going anywhere.
Right. I'm warning you, Eugene.
I'm warning you.
♪ I want you to show me ♪
♪ I want to feel what love is ♪
♪ I know you can show me ♪
Calm down!
Bastards!
Let me go!
Put me down!
Calm down, Eugene.
- You bastards!
- Calm down.
- Get off!
- Calm down.
Get off!
Jason! Jason!
Leave him, Jason!
I cannot accept that
as an excuse, Mr. Snooper.
But that's the truth.
I honestly
don't remember anything.
I'm due out in four days.
Correction, Mr. Snooper,
you were due for release.
I don't remember what I did.
Been told.
I'm sorry.
I can't tell you how sorry I am,
but I don't remember nothing
about it.
This is a very serious charge.
You committed rape.
But Miss Bullock doesn't want to
press charges.
Outside the prison.
That does not mean that we will
ignore the assault.
To the contrary.
But I don't remember!
I swear on my daughter's life.
Miss Hewitt, I don't remember.
I was stoned.
But you weren't
under the influence
when you left the wing.
Or are you now saying
that you were?
No, I was straight, honest.
So do you now accept
full responsibility
for having these substances
on your person?
Yeah.
I guess I am.
Which is also an offense.
I'm sorry.
Would you tell me how you came
to be in possession
of these substances?
I found them.
I wouldn't be stupid enough
to bring gear in here.
I'm going out.
I am due for release.
No, you're not, Mr. Snooper.
Take him back to the cell.
But she's not pressing charges.
You can't keep me here!
Cheryl, I've got
a message for you.
If you get in that box,
you'll end up in one.
Understand?
I've got friends.
One word.
Come on, Mr. Smith.
We've got people waiting.
Sorry.
I had to talk to my brief,
Mr. Chiswick.
Important.
For my trial an' all.
Nosh is good in here, isn't it?
Great gym.
I'm gonna learn
how to work a computer.
Put me name down.
Got a visit
with me solicitor tomorrow.
Oh, yeah.
Tell him not to bother
getting you out.
I've got a visit tomorrow.
Those pictures of her?
She's pregnant.
Eight months.
Cracks me up seeing her.
Everything's such a mess.
It's a boy.
We know it's a boy 'cause, um,
Anna had a scan, and, uh...
I want to see him born.
Can I have your dinner?
Take a look at your client's
criminal record, Mr. Turnbull.
He had already taken an officer
hostage at his previous prison.
He has served
a number of lengthy sentences
for serious crimes.
Do not try
and make him out to be
some sickly,
hard-done-by creature,
when he is obviously
a very dangerous one.
Where do you bastards get off?
Right now we have
one of the best officers
I've ever come across
unable to come back to work
because of your client.
He nearly killed him!
Yes, Mr. Marshall, I'm very
concerned for Mr. Morgan.
But my client, Mr. Falla,
has made repeated requests
for his case to be reviewed.
It was due to his anxiety
and his frustration
that the hostage situation
arose.
I will agree
to two-week recuperation period.
I want Mr. Falla fit and well to
answer the charges against him.
Thank you.
Well, I'm glad we've been able
to come
to some amicable settlement.
No.
Mr. Marshall, could you please
see Mr. Turnbull to the gates?
- Nice to see you again, Davyd.
- Yeah. See you, Tony.
Ah, Dr. Harris, could you
shut the door a moment, please?
Actually he's quite
a nice bloke, you know?
Really?!
Aye, great rugby fullback,
Anthony, yeah.
Yeah, Cambridge Blue.
Played for England.
I want Falla's
previous medical records
gone over
with a fine-tooth comb.
I want that man fitter
and healthier
in two weeks' time
than he has ever been
in his entire nasty,
vicious little life.
Is that quite understood?
- Playboy magazines.
- Yep.
- Pencil sharpener.
- Yep.
- Game Boy.
- Yep.
- Okay, CDs... Bob Marley.
- Bob Marley.
- Bob Marley.
- Bob Marley.
Bob Marley.
I told my social worker,
and she said to speak to you,
Mr. Chiswick.
He goes on and on and on
and won't stop.
I'm gonna hit him.
- I'll hit him.
- All right, Roddy.
I said I'll speak to him,
and I will.
Go on.
Back in a second.
Keith Smith!
Me?
What do you want me for?
You leave Roddy alone.
We all know
what he's in here for,
and he doesn't need reminding
of it.
Me, I never said a word to him,
Mr. Chiswick.
Well, you keep it that way,
Mr. Smith.
Black bastard.
You little fruit and nut.
I'll ram up that up
your fat ass, little squealer.
But it could work.
I mean, we're the same height.
And...
Lockup!
Another thing...
When they brought me in,
the photo booth wasn't working.
They don't have a photo of me.
Yeah, but the officers know me.
Some of them do.
Lockup!
No, we'd never get away with it.
It's crazy.
Oh, well.
I offered.
I mean, he was certain
I'd be out.
Out within a week.
That's what he said.
Man, you're covered in tats.
Oh, yeah.
Got 16 of them.
Hey, and two on me thighs.
Do you want to see?
Lockup!
They'll have them listed,
you prat.
Oh, right.
I hadn't thought of that.
Lights out!
Nice and quiet in here,
isn't it?
Lights out!
Sleep well in here tonight.
Good night.
Shut him up!
Shut up!
You shut up as well, Eugene!
You're making just as much noise
as he is!
I'm here on punishment!
If you can't control
that bastard,
I'm gonna complain!
Do you frigging hear me?!
Tarzan, will you give us a break
and shut your noise?!
Yeah, come on, eh?! You're gonna
be off for seeing your dad!
Oi!
Anyone complaining on me here?!
I'm complaining, you big ape!
Shut your noise, Tarzan!
Oh, you will be!
Do you hear me?!
I'm not scared!
Morning.
Sorry I haven't been able
to get to rehearsals.
How are they going?
Fine, but, uh,
Eugene Buffy's missing.
He's a good part of the chorus.
He can't sing, but he likes to
act as assistant director.
He's on punishment. He should be
back on the wing today.
How often have you seen
Russell Morgan?
Who?
The officer involved
in the hostage.
Oh, yes.
Well, I've called in on him
a couple of times,
and I've spoken to his wife.
Sorry. I got a bit caught up
in my own problems.
I can arrange to see him.
I think you should.
So...
How are things with you?
Fine, thank you.
Fine.
I keep myself busy, you know?
Mr. Snooper is being held
on the block.
Yes, I know.
I suppose he's available
to be in the musical now.
I take it that was a joke?
Yes.
It was a joke.
Are you sleeping all right?
Oh, really,
this isn't necessary.
- Are you?
- Yes, Helen.
I am aware that I hold
a very responsible position
at Barfield,
and I don't like feeling
that I have to be
constantly reassuring you
of my capabilities.
If you have a problem...
Annette, I do not
have a problem.
I need to make sure
that you don't have one either.
You had a horrific experience.
And it is behind me.
Okay.
I know you've contacted
my last...
The last prison I worked in.
You spoke to Michael Hilliard.
Yes, I did.
Annette...
I'm not prying.
It's just that
I am responsible for you,
and I want you to know that
if you need anybody to talk to,
then I am here for you,
just as I would hope that you
would be there for me
should I ever need anybody
to talk to.
What did Michael say about me?
He was very complimentary.
I hear Officer Jackson's
playing a big part.
Yes, he is.
But I haven't cast it all yet.
Do you sing?
Oh! God forbid.
Tone-deaf.
I just felt a deep depression
coming over me, Miss Hewitt.
Wanted to be on my own.
Sorry.
You can't make demands,
Mr. Buffy.
Do you understand that?
Yes, ma'am.
However, when a single cell
becomes available,
I will see to it
that you're on the list.
Thank you very much,
Miss Hewitt.
Very considerate.
Welcome back.
Thank you, Eugene.
Take him back to the wing.
You want to sort out that maniac
down the block, though?
Kept everyone awake
screaming and yelling.
It's like a zoo down there.
All right, guys! A complaint!
Let's go.
Workshops.
Jones.
Let's go.
Come on, lads.
Hurry up.
Workshops.
Let's go.
Workshops!
Eugene!
No, it's all right.
I've got a bit of earache.
Ah, you're a regular
hypochondriac, Roddy.
And Eric, Eric!
Hey, hey!
What?
You won't get that lead, mate.
Whoever heard
of a slaphead juvenile lead?
Buffy's having a go at me.
Mr. Jackson,
he's having a go at me!
Yes, will you move?
Come on.
I've got more hair
between the cheeks of my ass.
Thanks for sharing that
with me, Eugene.
Good morning.
- Roddy, come on.
- Come on, lads.
So slow, I'm beginning
to forget me name.
Come on!
Move it!
Ja-son!
Ja-son!
I know it's you, Smith.
Just cut it out.
You skiving off workshop, Kevin?
Um, I've got a migraine,
Mr. Hully.
- I need to get some sleep.
- All right.
Ma'am.
You have a visiting order
for this afternoon
for your father,
Mr. E.S. Braithwaite.
Yes.
And I've asked,
on compassionate grounds,
that I don't see him
in the no-contact section.
It'll be the last time, you see?
He's... He's very sick.
I know.
If you promise
that you'll behave yourself,
I'll agree to it.
Yes, Miss Hewitt.
Best behavior.
Best behavior.
Thank you, Officer Horrocks.
Johnson, ma'am.
First group of visitors,
checked and coming through.
I'm here because
I have serious allegations
against one of your inmates,
a Mr. Keith Smith.
Uh, Mr. Smith is currently
awaiting trial.
For armed robbery.
He's a particularly unpleasant
and violent man
with two previous sentences
for similar offenses.
One of my witnesses
who knew Mr. Smith at one time
has received numerous
threatening phone calls.
It seems to me
to be quite extraordinary
that a man
who has been refused bail
because of his previous record
of attempting to scare witnesses
at his last trial
is given free access
to a telephone
and able
to use prison-issue phone cards.
I couldn't agree with you more.
And I'm confident that as
you were not cautioned
and went to the station
on your own free will,
the charges against you
might well be dropped.
I'm very hopeful to get bail
within a few days.
- Couple of days?
- I'm sorry, Barry.
It's okay.
I like it here.
Tell me again what he said?
They're gonna be casting
the musical this afternoon.
Can't wait.
I've been singing all the solos.
Have you ever seen "Mikado,"
Mum?
I love it!
It's brilliant.
I've been singing "Titwillow,"
"Wand'ring Minstrel."
He started kicking last night,
and I just lay there
and I cried.
I cried all night.
I want to be with you.
You know that.
It's all I think about,
day in, day out,
that he's gonna be born
and I'm not gonna be there.
Anna, don't.
Listen to me.
Listen to me.
I might be.
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
I might be able to get out.
What do you mean, like...
Like compassionate leave?
Oh, that would be wonderful,
Kev.
- No.
- When?
It's not compassionate leave,
and it might not work.
I can't discuss it now.
I'll call you, tell you more.
Okay?
Okay.
Okay.
How you doing,
Mr. Braithwaite?
Been better, son.
Oh, Snoopy,
I just don't understand you.
God.
You were due out.
Did you get into a fight?
God, I mean,
how can they keep you in here
for that amount of time
for no good reason?
Oz, look at me!
I'm your wife, damn it!
I don't know.
I don't want to take about it,
all right?
You hear me?
God.
Keep mum
about the wheelie, lads.
Here he is, Mr. Braithwaite.
Here, have a seat.
Here.
Tea and biscuits.
The chocolate orange ones.
You like them.
Do you want sugar?
Yes.
Three.
Three.
Bit different from my days.
Very nice.
There you are.
Ta.
Biscuit?
You not having one?
No, no.
I don't use sugar.
Anyway, they're for you.
What you don't eat,
you can take home with you.
- Do you want a biscuit?
- No, thanks.
You all right, Mr. Braithwaite?
Want a doctor?
You want a snout?
No, I don't smoke.
You've got...
You've got smaller.
Yeah.
You've lost a lot of weight.
I'm 72!
Here you go.
Old lag
used to pass out
these boiled sweets.
Every morning I'd see him
passing them out to the screws.
I says, "Hey, what are you doing
sucking up to the screws?"
And he says to me, "I'm not.
I hate the buggers."
So I says, "You're a liar.
Every morning I see you
handing them out to the screws."
"Aye," he says,
"but every night I stick them up
me ass, then rewrap them."
I tell you what,
I'm glad I didn't have
one of them biscuits.
That was Parkhurst.
Codes jail, Parkhurst.
Nobody ever squealed from there.
It's a codes jail, that's why.
You know all about tough guys,
don't you, Dad?
I know one thing...
If I'd done 20 years' stir,
I wouldn't have got out
and been back 60 days later.
Sitting on the steps of Barclays
with a shotgun and a balaclava
is not a tough guy.
Dumb, maybe.
Been banged up so long
you didn't know what time
the effing bank opened.
Another seven years.
That's all you got.
I'm writing a book about prison.
Huh.
Proud of it all, are you, son?
What you
calling yourself Tarzan for?
Bloody stupid.
It's for wrestling.
It's like that gladiator show
on the telly.
They've all got names.
Here.
I done these for you.
They're poems.
Take them home.
I've not got a home.
I'm in a welfare place.
I'm going to die in it.
Don't die in a prison, Vic.
You can't beat the system.
In the end, it beats you.
It's a zoo, all right.
But your name's
Victor Braithwaite,
not Tarzan!
Lord of the apes.
And that your mother's name's
Barbara, aged 43.
Sister called Diana, aged 6.
Address, 44 Elmsworth Crescent.
Your Auntie Carol
lives with you,
your mother's younger sister.
Your dad left in 1985.
Your mother works in a laundry.
You went to school at, um...
How do they look?
Oh, they look great, Kev.
Ink's fading just right.
Uh, don't forget the dog.
What's his name?
Archie, right?
Well, where did you
go to school?
Elmwood Comprehensive,
just at the top of our road.
I worked for 18 months.
Where?
Oh...
Sandlers Printworks.
You got fired and went to work
at the candle factory.
You've had measles, mumps,
chicken pox,
and, uh, your wisdom teeth out.
Do you think
they'll ask me about that?
I'm only telling you what's
written on me admittance slip.
Now, you're sure
they've got no photo of you
when you came into Barfield?
Yeah, said it wasn't working.
What do we do now, then?
Wait.
Nothing else we can do.
Just have to wait.
Was he very close to his father?
When your old man dies,
it's hard, you know?
You see your own mortality.
He knows he's not gonna
be with him or see him again.
I'll go
and have a word with him.
Be careful.
I'm... I'm Chaplain Fuller.
If there's anything you'd like
to talk to me about.
Is anybody there?!
Answer me!
Is there anybody there?!
♪ But if patriotic sentiment
is wanted ♪
Arms up.
One, two, three, four,
five, six.
To the right.
One, two, three, down.
One, two, three, down.
Lunge, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
What's the matter with Eric?
He's been cast as one of
the little maids from school.
He's not a happy man.
Okay, guys, guys, guys, guys.
All line up behind me.
I've got the steps.
I'll show you the steps.
Really small steps
'cause we're playing Chinks.
What's up?
I'm not doing it.
It's not fair.
Just run through it again,
Miss Purvis. Slow tempo.
I can't do it.
I look a right idiot.
You'll be wearing a wig.
And I'm playing a girl as well.
I know that, stupid.
That's not the point.
I just don't want to
play that part.
Suit yourself.
March, two, three, four.
Five, six.
Arms!
Now two steps to the right.
To the left.
One, two...
- Oh!
- Shit, right. Sorry, sorry.
- Annette...
- Sorry! The right. Okay.
Oswald Snooper
has asked to see you.
Now, obviously...
No, I'm sorry,
I don't want to see him.
And I don't think
this is the time or the place
even to discuss it.
Excuse me.
Get to the end here,
drop your fan.
She's supposed to be
the psychologist.
Right, come on.
Once more from the top
before the end of rehearsal,
please.
I do like your cardigan.
Oh, I knitted it myself.
I also do crochet
and needlepoint.
- So do I.
- Oh!
I've just got a lovely pattern
for a bedspread!
Miss Purvis.
From the top, please.
I'm sorry.
She's on drugs.
And one, two, three, four...
Short steps!
Seven, eight.
And two, three, four...
We've got to have
a staff meeting, Miss Hewitt.
HOS is juggling officers around.
These rehearsals
take a lot of organization.
We're really stretched
on my wing without S.O. Morgan.
Well, I've arranged for
P.O. Brent to cover on your wing
until Mr. Morgan's
replacement arrives.
Governor.
And I want Keith Smith's
phone card removed.
Waste of time.
He'd get another or steal one.
You do one, you're gonna have to
do them all.
- Keep practicing.
- Yeah, yeah.
Chiswick for C Wing.
You're always making a
fuss, Eric. You're pathetic.
- Is that shepherd's pie?
- Yeah.
- Is that vegetable soup?
- Should be oxtail.
Here, who's that bloke
over there?
He's not been
on our wing before, has he?
Stop nattering.
Come on, Roddy, get a move on.
I'm not creating a fuss.
I just don't want to put a
bloody frock on, and that's it.
Bloody conspiracy.
You look bad enough now,
but everyone'll think
you're a poofter, right?
Shut up.
Is it roly-poly today?
I love that, me.
Custard.
If you don't want your pudding,
I'll have it.
You butlering for Kevin again,
are you?
What's going on between you two?
You ain't a shirtlifter,
are you, Barry?
No, I'm not.
Kevin's got a migraine.
Shove off.
Keith Smith.
Keep your eye on him.
Cell number 22.
Might get in a paddy.
We're taking his phone card
off him, okay?
All right.
Jason.
Ja-son!
Ja-son!
Mr. Bryant, would you tell
prisoner number 741...
Jones, Barry...
To pack up his gear?
He's been released.
2:00.
Right, I'll look for the list
and find out who's who.
- All right.
- Okay.
Ta.
Kev.
What?
Kev!
I've just been told.
I'm out at 2:00.
- When?
- Today.
I told you, didn't I?
I told you.
Today?
But I'm not ready.
I-I won't be able to.
It's too soon.
I'll go in the box!
Put me in the cage!
Put me in the cage!
Aaaaah!
Come on!
- Come on!
- Tarzan.
Tarzan.
Right, let's have your trays,
lads.
Come on, Kevin, liven up.
Barry, you get
your kit packed up.
I'll be back for you
before lockup.
See?
I told you, didn't I?
I told you.
He's new on the wing.
He doesn't know who anyone is.
And he's taking me to reception.
Right.
Split shields.
Will you talk to me, Tarzan?
Mm.
- Mm.
- Okay.
I understand you must be very
upset about your father, Tarzan.
No, no, no,
you do not understand,
'cause he never did.
My father.
Father's the sweetie man.
Sweetie man.
Do you know what he did?
He wrapped chocolate biscuits up
in my poems.
And he'll never look at them.
He'll never look at them!
He's not interested!
Don't think he ever was.
Eh?
He's dying! He's dying, right?
But what does he come in
and tell me?
What a hard man he is.
All the time he spent in prison.
All six months of it.
But what about me?!
What about me?!
'Cause I tell you, I'm...
I'm tired.
I'm... I'm really tired!
I am really, really tired!
I'm tired!
I'm sick and tired of you!
Asshole!
- Prisoner 741, Jones?
- Yeah.
Got all your kit?
Step out, son.
Go with the others.
♪ I'm walking,
yes, I'm walking ♪
♪ And I'll keep on walking ♪
♪ And talking my way
out of here ♪
♪ So I'm walking,
yes, I'm walking ♪
♪ And I'll keep on walking ♪
♪ And talking my way
out of here ♪
Look, I've never made
a threatening phone call
in my life.
I swear on my mother's life.
I have never made
a threatening phone call.
I'm gonna take your phone card.
That's illegal.
Mr. Jackson to the TV room.
I'm on remand!
Remand!
We know you've been making
threatening phone calls.
No, I ain't.
That's a lie.
Right!
That's enough!
Put it down.
Put it down now.
Back to your cells.
Come on, move it.
Officer Brent
with prisoner 741, Barry Jones.
Outer gate.
Officer Brent.
Officer Gordon.
Good afternoon, Mr. Brent.
Hope you're behaving yourself,
Stanley.
Yeah, thank you, Mr. Brent.
I can't give in
to any inmate's demands.
Next thing,
we'd have cons asking for
extra sugar on their pudding.
Eh?
Extra exercise,
extra time on association.
And we can have that, can we?
You're a reasonable man.
You have got to see things
from our side.
Hmm?
Okay.
Put your kit on the table, son,
and start stripping off.
All right, Vern.
Um, 741, Jones.
Okay.
Right, Barry.
Go and take a shower.
I'll get your gear.
Know anything
about Russell Morgan?
No.
Few of us got a kitty together,
sent him some fruit
when he was in the hospital.
- Yeah, I know that.
- Checked himself out.
I think he's had
a nervous breakdown.
That's the rumor I heard.
Right.
Huh, no photo.
- Mr. Jones?
- Yep.
Just step out a second.
Just want to check your tattoos.
Forearms and thighs.
Let's have a look at you.
My, my.
Got enough anchors, have you?
You young people getting
yourselves all inked up.
Macho image.
Now then, Jumbo.
Hello, Vernon.
Here, Jumbo, you seen
the state of that prat there?
Covered in them he is.
I don't know.
Got to be stupid, I think.
What?
Well, to get a tattoo.
Oh.
Like that one, you mean?
Can you hang on down here?
I'm expecting somebody in
from Walton.
Yeah, no problem.
You know, I can't believe
they've still got that lunatic
down the block.
What, Tarzan?
He's a psychiatric case.
I don't know why they bother.
If he was a dog,
they'd put him down.
Here.
Come on, son.
We haven't got all day.
Jacket, shirt, and vest.
And what did you have
in your wallet, son?
Um, I had a £5 note
and a bus pass.
I also had 75 pence in change.
I took a tenner out.
Yeah, all right, son.
Okay, let's get you sorted.
He never even looked
at my poems, you know?
They were my way
of talking to him.
We never, ever could talk.
Now he's dying, and...
And it's the pain.
Would you like to be
on your own now?
Mm.
Yeah.
Okay, what we'll do
is we'll leave it
for a couple of days,
and then
we'll talk like this again.
Just you and me.
Every day, if you want.
But you have got to agree
to be quiet,
not upset everybody else.
Okay?
Okay.
Thank you for talking to me.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Oh.
No. Come on.
What I'm thinking of doing
is maybe change the names,
so that it fits in
with the prison staff.
And, uh, what's that other one?
- Poo-poo?
- No, poo-bah.
Poo-bah.
Poo-bah is the loyal executioner
of everything else.
Come on, son.
They're waiting for you
at the gate.
Just called in about you.
I walked in
on rehearsals yesterday.
It's like "The Twilight Zone"
in there.
Oi!
You've got to sign out,
you know, son.
Vern, I'm gonna
get back on the wing.
- I'll see you later.
- Okay, Jumbo.
Right, son, want you to sign
there and there.
Gassing again, Curtis?
You'd better
get back on the wing.
You know
who's coming in from Walton?
This bloody idiot.
Oh, what?
I don't believe this.
Ah.
You still here?
Taking your time, aren't you?
Just on his way
to the gate, Gov.
I'll walk him through.
That's all right, Governor.
I'll take him down.
Come on, son.
Up you go.
Who's it whose coming in again?
Brian Samora.
Oh, not that Scouse pest.
Brian bloody Samora.
I've just checked him out.
I know.
Aah! Oh!
Take it easy!
These cuffs are too tight.
Look, I'm gonna make
an official complaint.
Samora? Samora?
Behave yourself, all right?
- I mean it.
- Brian.
I'm sorry, Miss Hewitt.
It was Sharon's fault.
She ditched me,
and I got bevvied.
I can't remember a thing.
Still, we're both back now, eh?
Move along.
♪ So, I'm walking,
yes, I'm walking ♪
♪ And I'll keep on walking ♪
Yes.
Yes.
Yes!
Yes!