The Golden Girls (1985–1992): Season 3, Episode 24 - Mister Terrific - full transcript
Rose must persuade a kids' TV show host not to kill himself after he is fired.
♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND
♪ TRAVELED DOWN THE
ROAD AND BACK AGAIN
♪ YOUR HEART IS TRUE
♪ YOU'RE A PAL AND A CONFIDANTE
♪ AND IF YOU THREW A PARTY
♪ INVITED EVERYONE YOU KNEW
♪ YOU WOULD SEE THE
BIGGEST GIFT WOULD BE FROM ME
♪ AND THE CARD
ATTACHED WOULD SAY
♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND ♪
- HI, MA.
- HOW'D THE INTERVIEW GO?
TERRIFIC. I HAVE MY
CHOICE OF SUMMER JOBS.
THREE INTERVIEWS THIS
WEEK, THREE OFFERS.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE
SHOWING MORE LEG LIKE I TOLD YOU.
I DON'T THINK THE WOMAN
AT THE EMPLOYMENT AGENCY
WAS INTERESTED IN MY LEGS.
GROW UP. DON'T YOU WATCH TV?
80% OF THE WOMEN IN
PRIMETIME ARE SWITCH-HITTERS.
MA, TV SOAP OPERAS
AREN'T REAL LIFE.
I'M NOT TALKING CHARACTERS.
I'M TALKING ACTRESSES.
PICK UP AN ENQUIRER SOMETIME.
YOU'LL LEARN SOMETHING.
I AM EXHAUSTED.
I HAVE SPENT THIS
ENTIRE DAY BED-SHOPPING.
HAVE YOU NO SHAME?
BED-HOPPING NOWADAYS
IS SEXUALLY IRRESPONSIBLE.
NOT BED-HOPPING,
MA. BED-SHOPPING.
YEAH, RIGHT. NICE COVER.
IT'S TRUE. I NEED A NEW BED.
MY OLD ONE IS FALLING APART.
THE PRICES ARE OUTRAGEOUS.
THE BED I WANTED COST MORE
THAN THE DOWN PAYMENT
ON MY FIRST HOUSE.
IN SICILY, BEDS WERE DIRT-CHEAP.
IT WAS BECAUSE
YOU SLEPT ON DIRT.
IF MY NAME WERE MARK TWAIN,
YOU'D BE WRITING
THIS STUFF DOWN.
GIRLS, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT
HAPPENED TO ME THIS AFTERNOON.
I MET MISTER TERRIFIC!
ROSE, DON'T BE
SO QUICK TO JUDGE.
I ONCE THOUGHT I
MET MR. TERRIFIC.
TURNED OUT THERE WAS
ALSO A MRS. TERRIFIC.
I FOUND MYSELF
DUCKING A MR. VASE.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I REALLY
MET MISTER TERRIFIC AT THE MALL.
HE WAS SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS
IN AN EMPTY STOREFRONT
THAT USED TO BE JACK KEMP'S
CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS.
ROSE, HE'S WEARING A CAPE.
AND A MASK.
HE'S WEARING A CAPE
AND A MASK. WAIT A MINUTE.
IS THIS GUY AN INSURANCE SALESMAN
NAMED MARSHALL HERSKOVITZ?
THAT'S HIS COSTUME.
DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER
HEARD OF MISTER TERRIFIC.
MISTER TERRIFIC'S CLUBHOUSE?
EVERY WEEKDAY AFTERNOON,
ONE FULL HOUR ON SATURDAYS?
- THAT CLOWN
WITH THE KIDDIE SHOW?
- NO. NOT A CLOWN. A SUPERHERO.
YOU'RE THINKING OF BOZO.
I'M TALKING TO BOZO.
WAIT. WHAT'S THIS HERE?
"TO THE FAIREST ROSE I'VE SEEN
UNTIL TONIGHT. MISTER TERRIFIC"?
HE ASKED ME OUT. WE'RE GOING
TO DINNER. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
NO. ACTUALLY NOT.
YOU SPENT 30 SECONDS GETTING AN
AUTOGRAPH. YOU DON'T KNOW THE GUY.
DOROTHY, HE'S A
TELEVISION CELEBRITY.
BESIDES, I TALKED TO
HIM FOR OVER AN HOUR.
THERE WEREN'T TOO
MANY PEOPLE IN LINE.
A MR. WHIPPLE
LOOK-ALIKE WAS NEXT DOOR
DEMONSTRATING THE NEW
THREE-PLY TOILET TISSUE.
I BETTER GET READY.
HE'S PICKING ME UP AT 7:00.
CAN YOU IMAGINE MAKING A DATE
WITH A GUY YOU MET AT A MALL?
PRETTY STRANGE.
I'LL SAY. SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT KIND OF CAR HE DRIVES.
OH, SOPHIA, DID THEY
DELIVER MY NEW BED?
THEY WERE HERE
ALL DAY SETTING IT UP.
FOR THAT SIMPLE BED?
SIMPLE? I HAVEN'T
SEEN SO MUCH BRASS
SINCE THE BRASS-KNUCKLE RV
SHOW AT THE PALERMO HILTON.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT. THEY
DELIVERED THE WRONG BED.
- BLANCHE, DO YOU THINK...
- NOT NOW.
- WHAT'S HER HURRY?
- THAT ENORMOUS THING
IN HER BEDROOM.
I THOUGHT SHE'D
STOPPED SEEING ROGER.
HOW DO I LOOK?
NOT BAD. YOU GOT ANOTHER
DATE WITH CAPTAIN MARVELOUS?
MISTER TERRIFIC.
YOU DIDN'T READ MANY COMIC
BOOKS WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD.
WE HAD COMIC BOOKS IN SICILY.
MY FAVORITE WAS BENITO THE HOOD.
HE LIVED IN THE FOREST WITH
HIS BAND OF MERRY THUGS.
- BENITO WAS VERY POPULAR.
- HE STOLE FROM THE RICH
AND GAVE TO THE POOR?
I SAID BENITO THE HOOD,
NOT BENITO THE IDIOT.
HE STOLE FROM EVERYONE
AND KEPT IT FOR HIMSELF.
DIDN'T EVEN SHARE IT WITH
HIS BAND OF MERRY THUGS.
HE WAS THE IDOL OF MANY
A SICILIAN YOUNGSTER.
THAT'S WHAT THEY DID ALL
RIGHT. DELIVERED THE WRONG BED.
YOU DON'T LIKE THIS ONE?
OH, I THINK IT'S STUNNING.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT,
BUT I CAN'T AFFORD IT.
THAT BED BACK THERE MUST COST...
EXACTLY WHAT I PAID
FOR THE ONE I ORDERED.
THEY MADE A MISTAKE. THEY
CHARGED FOR THE INEXPENSIVE BED.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
FROM NEIMAN-MARCUS.
SOPHIA, SHE CAN'T KEEP THAT
BED. THAT'D BE LIKE STEALING.
IT'S ONLY STEALING
IF THEY FIND OUT.
WELL, THE BED'S IN MY
BEDROOM. WHO'S GONNA KNOW?
EVERYONE WHO KNOWS THE BUNT
SIGN ON THE NEW YORK YANKEES.
LOOK, EVERYONE. MISTER TERRIFIC.
ROSE, PLEASE. YOU'RE
EMBARRASSING ME.
OH, I'M SORRY.
I GET SUCH A KICK
OUT OF YOUR SLOGAN.
THAT'S A SLOGAN? "LOOK,
EVERYONE. MISTER TERRIFIC"?
TWENTY-TWO YEARS NEXT FALL.
YOU MUST BE SOPHIA.
I'M BLANCHE DEVEREAUX. A
PLEASURE TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
OH! YOU WATCH THE SHOW?
WHY? I ALREADY KNOW
HOW TO BRUSH MY TEETH.
GOOD FOR YOU. THEN YOU WON'T
BE ROUNDED UP BY THE CAVITY COPS.
OH. DOROTHY, I'M
GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
MEET MISTER TERRIFIC.
OH, MISTER TERRIFIC, MEET
MRS. SEVERELY DEPRESSED.
DOROTHY, WHAT'S WRONG?
I FOUND OUT WHAT
MY JOB AT THE CAMP IS.
HEAD OF ARTS AND CRAFTS. I'LL
BE SPENDING THE ENTIRE SUMMER
GLUING MACARONI TO
CONSTRUCTION PAPER.
DOROTHY'S A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER
LOOKING FOR SUMMERTIME WORK.
REALLY? I MIGHT BE
ABLE TO HELP YOU OUT.
MY PRODUCER'S BEEN LOOKING FOR
SOMEONE WITH EDUCATION CREDENTIALS
TO ACT AS A CONSULTANT
ON THE SHOW.
IT SOUNDS LIKE IT
COULD BE INTERESTING.
OH, I DOUBT IT.
THE ONLY REALLY INTERESTING
JOB ON THE SHOW IS BEING ME.
BUT I'LL BE GLAD TO
SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
ROSE, WE BETTER GET GOING.
IF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING TO
HELP, IT WOULD BE REALLY...
TERRIFIC?
NICE MEETING YOU.
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE AND THANK YOU.
DON'T COUNT ON
THAT JOB, DOROTHY.
MANY WOMEN HAVE
HAD THEIR HOPES DASHED
BY SMOOTH-TALKING TV SHARPIES.
DAVE GARROWAY TOLD
ME IF I TREATED HIM RIGHT,
I'D BE HIS SIDEKICK
ON THE TODAY SHOW.
I SAID NO AND HE ENDED
UP WITH A MONKEY.
DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.
♪ T-E-DOUBLE-R-I-F-I-C
♪ SHOVE A "MR." IN THE
FRONT AND YOU'VE GOT ME ♪
OKAY, BOYS AND GIRLS,
IT'S TIME TO LEARN
ABOUT OUR SPECIAL WORD.
KOLAK!
TELL US WHAT TODAY'S
SPECIAL WORD IS.
SPLOTNICK.
THE WORD FOR TODAY IS "HOT."
"HOT" HAS A LOT OF MEANINGS,
BOYS AND GIRLS.
COFFEE IS HOT.
A STOVE IS HOT.
ANGIE DICKINSON IS HOT.
VERY FUNNY, MR. STAGE MANAGER.
AND NOW, BOYS AND
GIRLS, WE'RE GOING TO...
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
MY... MY SUPER-TERRIFIC
HEARING DETECTS A VISITOR.
IT'S MR. POLICEMAN!
DISGUISED AS MR. MAILMAN.
WHY? WHY? WHY
DON'T I FIND OUT WHY
WHILE YOU BOYS AND GIRLS WATCH
ANOTHER VERY SPECIAL ADVENTURE
OF RICKY THE FLYING TURTLE.
SEE YOU IN A FEW MINUTES.
CLEAR!
FREDDY.
IT'S BEEN 16 YEARS. WHEN
ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN?
TUESDAY, IT'S MR. POLICEMAN.
THURSDAY, IT'S MR. MAILMAN.
AND HE WONDERS WHY HE
CAN'T HAVE HIS OWN SERIES.
DOROTHY, I READ YOUR MEMO.
I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK.
WELL, THANK YOU,
MR. HASTINGS. THANK YOU.
YOU'VE GOT MODERN IDEAS
FOR A WOMAN YOUR AGE.
YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT.
NO. NO. I MEAN IT. I
REALLY THINK YOU'RE OLD.
DOROTHY, HOW'S THE SHOW GOING?
TERRIBLE. BUT BETTER
THAN THIRTYSOMETHING.
FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO.
WASN'T THAT FUN, BOYS AND GIRLS?
TWYLAR.
KOLAK SAYS THAT I HAVE TO RETURN
TO MY HOME PLANET
OF TWYLAR IMMEDIATELY!
SO WE'LL JUST SAY
GOOD-BYE THIS TIME,
UNTIL NEXT TIME, BOYS AND GIRLS,
WHEN YOU TURN ON
YOUR TV SETS AND HEAR...
LOOK, EVERYONE! MISTER TERRIFIC!
CLEAR!
HI, ROSE. LET ME CHANGE
CAPES AND WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY.
- IN MY OFFICE, TERRIFIC, NOW.
- SAY "PLEASE," MR. PRODUCER.
LITTLE TWERP. HE WAS ON
MY SHOW WHEN HE WAS FIVE.
HE SAT ON MY LAP AND PEED ON ME.
I GUESS OLD HABITS DIE HARD.
WHY DON'T I GO BACK WITH DOROTHY AND
YOU CAN STOP BY WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED.
YOU'RE A TERRIFIC
LADY, ROSE NYLUND.
THANK YOU.
HOW COME YOU'RE NOT WEARING
THE TERRIFIC LADY BUTTON I GOT?
OOH, SORRY. YES. RIGHT.
I'M NUTS ABOUT THAT GUY.
YOU'D HAVE TO BE.
BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S SO STRANGE.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
IT'S LIKE DATING A SUPERHERO.
SURE I CAN. WHY, MY STAN AND
SUPERMAN HAD A LOT IN COMMON.
THEY WERE BOTH FASTER
THAN A SPEEDING BULLET.
I HAVEN'T HAD A DECENT
NIGHT'S SLEEP IN WEEKS.
EVERY TIME I CLIMB
INTO BED, I FEEL GUILTY.
TAKE DOWN THE VIDEO EQUIPMENT.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BRASS
BED. I SHOULDN'T HAVE KEPT IT.
ROSE WAS RIGHT.
IT'S LIKE STEALING.
CALL THE STORE AND RETURN IT.
I'VE HAD IT OVER THREE
WEEKS. THEY WON'T TAKE IT BACK.
HOW MUCH WEAR CAN YOU
GIVE A BED IN JUST THREE WEEKS?
I SEE YOUR POINT.
HI.
I THOUGHT YOU HAD A
DATE WITH MISTER TERRIFIC.
HE'LL BE OVER.
THE PRODUCER HAD TO HAVE
AN IMPORTANT MEETING WITH HIM.
I HAVE A FEELING
IT WAS TO DISCUSS
THE RECOMMENDATIONS THAT I MADE.
I HOPE YOU RECOMMENDED
HE DO SOME EXERCISE.
A MAN SHOULDN'T BE
ALLOWED TO WEAR TIGHTS
UNLESS HE'S GOT A
BUTT LIKE BARYSHNIKOV.
THERE HE IS.
DOROTHY, WHAT DO YOU
THINK I OUGHTA DO WITH MY BED?
PUT IT IN THE
SMITHSONIAN, BLANCHE.
IT HAS MORE MILES ON IT
THAN THE SPIRIT OF ST. LOUIS.
I AM SERIOUS. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG.
PLEASE. IN BED,
SHE ONLY KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN RIGHT AND LEFT.
HONEY, WHY ARE YOU STILL
WEARING YOUR COSTUME?
I COULDN'T WAIT TO
GET OUT OF THERE.
WHY? WHAT HAPPENED?
THEY FIRED ME!
AND IT'S ALL HER FAULT!
FIRED YOU? HOW COULD
THEY FIRE MISTER TERRIFIC?
HOW? I'LL TELL YOU HOW.
THE NEWLY HIRED
AMATEUR CONSULTANT
HAD A FEW RECOMMENDATIONS
ON HOW TO IMPROVE MY SHOW.
THEY WERE ONLY SUGGESTIONS...
IDEAS THAT I THOUGHT
WOULD HELP THE SHOW.
OH, LIKE CHANGING
THE THEME SONG?
WELL, I MEAN, FRANKLY,
THE LYRICS ARE A BIT INANE.
I WROTE THOSE LYRICS.
HOW DID DOROTHY GET YOU FIRED?
THEY LOVED HER IDEAS.
THEY SAID I SHOULD USE THEM.
I SAID NO. THEY
SAID, "YOU'RE FIRED."
IT WAS NEVER MY INTENTION
FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.
I'LL GO IN THE MORNING
AND TALK TO HIM.
DON'T WORRY. IF DOROTHY
SAYS SHE'LL GET YOUR JOB BACK,
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT SHE'S GONNA DO.
I GUESS IT'S WORTH A SHOT.
LOOK. HERE'S WHERE
YOU CAN REACH ME.
CALL IF YOU WORK THINGS OUT.
- I'LL BE THERE
UNTIL SHOW TIME.
- FINE.
- ONE MORE THING.
- WHAT'S THAT?
LEAVE BY THE BACK DOOR.
MR. HASTINGS, I NEED
TO SPEAK WITH YOU.
I'VE GOT A SHOW
TO AIR AND NO STAR.
- FIND HIM YET?
- I KNOW WHERE
MISTER TERRIFIC IS.
NOT MISTER
TERRIFIC. MR. MAILMAN.
HE'S OUR GUEST HOST,
BUT HE'S DISAPPEARED.
OH, UH, TRY THE LADIES ROOM.
I FOUND HIM THERE ONCE WHEN
HE WAS PLAYING MRS. NURSE.
- I DIDN'T KNOW WE
HAD A MRS. NURSE.
- WE DON'T.
LOOK, MR. HASTINGS, WHEN I
MADE THOSE RECOMMENDATIONS,
I NEVER INTENDED FOR YOU
TO FIRE MISTER TERRIFIC.
- I WAS MERELY...
- THE GUY IS HISTORY.
PEOPLE DON'T WANT THAT
KIND OF SHOW ANYMORE.
- THE PUBLIC LOVES HIM.
- THE NUMBERS SAY DIFFERENT.
- I FOUND HIM.
- GREAT.
YOU GOT TWO MINUTES.
I'M NOT GOING ON. NO ONE
CAN REPLACE MISTER TERRIFIC.
YOU CAN SAY GOOD-BYE
TO MR. POLICEMAN.
IT'S THURSDAY. I THOUGHT HE
WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MR. MAILMAN.
WHAT DO WE DO?
YOUR STAR IS A PHONE CALL AWAY.
GIVE ME THE WORD, AND
MISTER TERRIFIC WILL BE BACK.
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
I THINK I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA.
- HI.
- HI.
WELL, I GUESS YOUR FRIEND
COULDN'T WORK THINGS OUT.
THERE'S STILL TIME.
I THINK MY TIME
HAS PASSED, ROSE.
TWENTY-TWO YEARS,
I'VE BEEN MISTER TERRIFIC.
TWENTY-TWO YEARS!
I WAS DOING WEEKEND
WEATHER FORECAST
WHEN I TURNED AN OLD
BLANKET INTO A CAPE
AND CREATED MISTER TERRIFIC.
KOLAK THE PUPPET? I
MADE HIM FROM A SOCK.
TEN MINUTES BEFORE
AIRTIME. IT WAS AN ARGYLE.
BACK IN THOSE DAYS, KOLAK
USED TO BE FROM SCOTLAND.
EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT SHOW
CAME FROM INSIDE MY HEAD.
AND OFF YOUR FOOT.
KIDS STARTED
TUNING IN IN DROVES.
THE CRITICS CALLED ME
THE NEXT CAPTAIN KANGAROO.
MR. GREEN JEANS
SENT ME A FAN LETTER.
I'M NOT GOING TO
LET IT END LIKE THIS.
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY FANS
WOULD WANT IT THIS WAY.
DOROTHY WON'T LET YOU DOWN. I'LL
BET SHE'S ON HER WAY TO A PHONE.
SO I'M MRS. SCHOOLTEACHER.
AND I'M GOING TO BE YOUR
FRIEND JUST FOR TODAY.
OF COURSE KOLAK FROM
TWYLAR WILL ALSO BE HERE.
LATER.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
BACK TO THE STUDIO. THERE'S
ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO DO.
WHO WAS THAT NUT?
I DON'T KNOW. MISTER TERRIFIC
USUALLY COMES IN ALONE.
SO YOU SEE, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
THAT WE EAT LOTS OF FRUITS AND
GRAINS AND TRY TO AVOID SWEETS.
RIGHT, KOLAK?
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
TO AVOID SWEETS?
IT'S NOT A PRETTY
PICTURE FROM DOWN HERE.
WHY, KOLAK, I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT YOU COULD SPEAK ENGLISH.
WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW COULD
FILL A SPACE THE SIZE OF GUAM.
SINCE YOU'VE BROUGHT UP GUAM,
WHY DON'T WE TALK ABOUT
GEOGRAPHY FOR A LITTLE BIT.
YOU WANNA SEE SOME GEOGRAPHY,
LADY? I'LL SHOW YOU GEOGRAPHY.
WHOA, KOLAK!
YOU KNOW WHAT WE CALL THIS
ON THE PLANET TWYLAR, HUH?
OH, MRS. SCHOOLTEACHER, LIKE
THAT'S REALLY GONNA SHUT ME UP.
- WHAT'LL WE DO NOW?
- WHY DON'T YOU TELL
THE BOYS AND GIRLS
HOW YOU GAVE MISTER
TERRIFIC THE AX?
A CARTOON. A CARTOON.
THAT'S RIGHT. HERE WE GO.
- YOU'RE CLEAR!
- THAT'S IT. I'M FINISHED.
DOROTHY, CALM DOWN.
THINGS ARE GOING VERY WELL.
VERY WELL? THEY
WERE TRYING TO KILL ME.
THEY WANT MISTER
TERRIFIC BACK, AND SO DO I.
DOROTHY, HOW COULD YOU? I
THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND.
I AM, ROSE. I AM.
THEY WERE PUSHING ME
OUT THERE. BEFORE I KNEW IT,
I WAS SINGING THE MISTER
TERRIFIC THEME SONG.
I'M SORRY, ROSE. I DIDN'T
INTEND FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.
EXPLAIN THAT TO MISTER TERRIFIC.
HE THINKS YOU STOLE HIS JOB.
I PROMISE. THE MINUTE I SEE HIM.
HE'S RIGHT HERE.
WE... WHERE'D HE GO?
MISTER TERRIFIC'S ON THE
LEDGE LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO JUMP!
OH!
HEY! HEY! WHERE'S EVERYBODY
GOING? WE'VE GOT A SHOW TO DO.
YOU'RE ON.
I'M ON IN FIVE,
FOUR, THREE, TWO.
HI, KIDS!
HI THERE, MISTER
TERRIFIC. HOW YOU DOING?
TERRIFIC.
UH, WHY DON'T YOU COME INSIDE.
I CAN'T FLY FROM INSIDE.
THAT'S HOW SUPERMAN DOES
IT. I HAVE TO FLY FROM THE LEDGE.
THAT'S HOW WE DO IT BACK
ON THE PLANET TWYLAR.
HOW'S HE DOING?
RIGHT NOW,
SQUEAKY FROMME HAS A
BETTER GRASP ON REALITY.
HI, HONEY.
HI, ROSE. I CAN SEE
YOUR HOUSE FROM HERE.
REALLY? WHERE?
ROSE!
HONEY, WE...
COME IN OFF THE LEDGE.
WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
I'M NOT GOING TO JUMP.
THAT WOULD BE CRAZY.
- OH, THANK GOODNESS.
- I'M GOING TO FLY.
YOU CAN'T FLY.
MISTER TERRIFIC CAN DO ANYTHING.
OF COURSE YOU CAN, MISTER
TERRIFIC. ROSE, DON'T ARGUE WITH HIM.
MISTER TERRIFIC, I THINK THAT
LEX LUTHOR AND THE JOKER
ARE HARASSING AN OLD
LADY IN THE STAIRWELL.
COULD YOU COME IN AND MELT
THEM WITH YOUR X-RAY VISION?
MISTER TERRIFIC DOESN'T
HAVE X-RAY VISION.
PLEASE, ROSE! THIS IS NO TIME
TO POINT OUT HIS SHORTCOMINGS!
MISTER TERRIFIC, PLEASE COME
INSIDE. I DON'T WANT YOUR JOB.
WE'LL GET IT BACK FOR YOU.
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY, AND
THAT'S TO PROVE TO MY FANS
THAT I DESERVE THE
NAME MISTER TERRIFIC.
HELLO, FANS!
IT'S ME, MISTER TERRIFIC!
JUMP! JUMP!
THERE'S ONLY ONE
WAY TO HANDLE THIS.
ROSE! ROSE, NO!
ROSE! ROSE, DON'T GO
OUT... ROSE, COME BACK HERE!
DON'T WORRY, DOROTHY.
I WAS TRAINED IN
PSYCHOLOGY BACK IN ST. OLAF.
THAT DOESN'T COUNT, ROSE.
IN ST. OLAF, THEY THINK THAT
FREUD IS A WAY TO COOK CHICKEN.
HONEY, DO YOU STILL
THINK YOU CAN FLY?
YES.
IF YOU'RE GONNA FLY, YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO TAKE ME.
- DO YOU STILL WANNA DO IT?
- ABSOLUTELY.
I REALLY SHOULD'VE
PAID CLOSER ATTENTION
DURING THAT REFRESHER COURSE
BACK AT THE JUNIOR COLLEGE.
OH, MY GOD! HE'S... FLYING.
WAIT. WASN'T IT DANGEROUS
FLYING AROUND THAT BUILDING?
NOT AT ALL. I WAS RIGGED IN A
HARNESS SUSPENDED BY CABLES.
YEAH, BUT ROSE WASN'T.
OH, I WASN'T WORRIED. I KNOW
MISTER TERRIFIC'S SUPERHERO CODE.
HE'D NEVER DROP A GIRL.
I'M GLAD THE PUBLICITY
STUNT WORKED,
AND I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER
THAT YOU GOT YOUR JOB BACK.
FREDDY'LL BE HERE. WE'VE
GOT A LOT TO CELEBRATE.
YES. I'M STILL MISTER TERRIFIC,
AND HE'S STILL MR. POLICEMAN.
I CANNOT SLEEP ANYMORE.
I LIE THERE WAITING FOR THE
AUTHORITIES TO CATCH UP WITH ME.
EVERY SIREN I HEAR IS FOR ME.
EVERY FOOTSTEP OUTSIDE MY WINDOW
BELONGS TO THAT OBSESSIVE DETECTIVE
WHO WILL NOT REST
UNTIL HE TRACKS ME DOWN!
BLANCHE, YOU ARE
BEING RIDICULOUS.
OH, THANK GOD! I CAN'T LIVE
WITH MYSELF ANYMORE. TAKE ME.
- BLANCHE!
- DOROTHY, PLEASE. I KNOW WHAT'S BEST.
JUST SLAP THE HANDCUFFS
ON ME. THE BED'S THIS WAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY?
I WAS SUPPOSED TO
BE MR. MAILMAN TODAY.
♪ TRAVELED DOWN THE
ROAD AND BACK AGAIN
♪ YOUR HEART IS TRUE
♪ YOU'RE A PAL AND A CONFIDANTE
♪ AND IF YOU THREW A PARTY
♪ INVITED EVERYONE YOU KNEW
♪ YOU WOULD SEE THE
BIGGEST GIFT WOULD BE FROM ME
♪ AND THE CARD
ATTACHED WOULD SAY
♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND ♪
- HI, MA.
- HOW'D THE INTERVIEW GO?
TERRIFIC. I HAVE MY
CHOICE OF SUMMER JOBS.
THREE INTERVIEWS THIS
WEEK, THREE OFFERS.
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE
SHOWING MORE LEG LIKE I TOLD YOU.
I DON'T THINK THE WOMAN
AT THE EMPLOYMENT AGENCY
WAS INTERESTED IN MY LEGS.
GROW UP. DON'T YOU WATCH TV?
80% OF THE WOMEN IN
PRIMETIME ARE SWITCH-HITTERS.
MA, TV SOAP OPERAS
AREN'T REAL LIFE.
I'M NOT TALKING CHARACTERS.
I'M TALKING ACTRESSES.
PICK UP AN ENQUIRER SOMETIME.
YOU'LL LEARN SOMETHING.
I AM EXHAUSTED.
I HAVE SPENT THIS
ENTIRE DAY BED-SHOPPING.
HAVE YOU NO SHAME?
BED-HOPPING NOWADAYS
IS SEXUALLY IRRESPONSIBLE.
NOT BED-HOPPING,
MA. BED-SHOPPING.
YEAH, RIGHT. NICE COVER.
IT'S TRUE. I NEED A NEW BED.
MY OLD ONE IS FALLING APART.
THE PRICES ARE OUTRAGEOUS.
THE BED I WANTED COST MORE
THAN THE DOWN PAYMENT
ON MY FIRST HOUSE.
IN SICILY, BEDS WERE DIRT-CHEAP.
IT WAS BECAUSE
YOU SLEPT ON DIRT.
IF MY NAME WERE MARK TWAIN,
YOU'D BE WRITING
THIS STUFF DOWN.
GIRLS, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT
HAPPENED TO ME THIS AFTERNOON.
I MET MISTER TERRIFIC!
ROSE, DON'T BE
SO QUICK TO JUDGE.
I ONCE THOUGHT I
MET MR. TERRIFIC.
TURNED OUT THERE WAS
ALSO A MRS. TERRIFIC.
I FOUND MYSELF
DUCKING A MR. VASE.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I REALLY
MET MISTER TERRIFIC AT THE MALL.
HE WAS SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS
IN AN EMPTY STOREFRONT
THAT USED TO BE JACK KEMP'S
CAMPAIGN HEADQUARTERS.
ROSE, HE'S WEARING A CAPE.
AND A MASK.
HE'S WEARING A CAPE
AND A MASK. WAIT A MINUTE.
IS THIS GUY AN INSURANCE SALESMAN
NAMED MARSHALL HERSKOVITZ?
THAT'S HIS COSTUME.
DON'T TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER
HEARD OF MISTER TERRIFIC.
MISTER TERRIFIC'S CLUBHOUSE?
EVERY WEEKDAY AFTERNOON,
ONE FULL HOUR ON SATURDAYS?
- THAT CLOWN
WITH THE KIDDIE SHOW?
- NO. NOT A CLOWN. A SUPERHERO.
YOU'RE THINKING OF BOZO.
I'M TALKING TO BOZO.
WAIT. WHAT'S THIS HERE?
"TO THE FAIREST ROSE I'VE SEEN
UNTIL TONIGHT. MISTER TERRIFIC"?
HE ASKED ME OUT. WE'RE GOING
TO DINNER. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?
NO. ACTUALLY NOT.
YOU SPENT 30 SECONDS GETTING AN
AUTOGRAPH. YOU DON'T KNOW THE GUY.
DOROTHY, HE'S A
TELEVISION CELEBRITY.
BESIDES, I TALKED TO
HIM FOR OVER AN HOUR.
THERE WEREN'T TOO
MANY PEOPLE IN LINE.
A MR. WHIPPLE
LOOK-ALIKE WAS NEXT DOOR
DEMONSTRATING THE NEW
THREE-PLY TOILET TISSUE.
I BETTER GET READY.
HE'S PICKING ME UP AT 7:00.
CAN YOU IMAGINE MAKING A DATE
WITH A GUY YOU MET AT A MALL?
PRETTY STRANGE.
I'LL SAY. SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT KIND OF CAR HE DRIVES.
OH, SOPHIA, DID THEY
DELIVER MY NEW BED?
THEY WERE HERE
ALL DAY SETTING IT UP.
FOR THAT SIMPLE BED?
SIMPLE? I HAVEN'T
SEEN SO MUCH BRASS
SINCE THE BRASS-KNUCKLE RV
SHOW AT THE PALERMO HILTON.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT. THEY
DELIVERED THE WRONG BED.
- BLANCHE, DO YOU THINK...
- NOT NOW.
- WHAT'S HER HURRY?
- THAT ENORMOUS THING
IN HER BEDROOM.
I THOUGHT SHE'D
STOPPED SEEING ROGER.
HOW DO I LOOK?
NOT BAD. YOU GOT ANOTHER
DATE WITH CAPTAIN MARVELOUS?
MISTER TERRIFIC.
YOU DIDN'T READ MANY COMIC
BOOKS WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD.
WE HAD COMIC BOOKS IN SICILY.
MY FAVORITE WAS BENITO THE HOOD.
HE LIVED IN THE FOREST WITH
HIS BAND OF MERRY THUGS.
- BENITO WAS VERY POPULAR.
- HE STOLE FROM THE RICH
AND GAVE TO THE POOR?
I SAID BENITO THE HOOD,
NOT BENITO THE IDIOT.
HE STOLE FROM EVERYONE
AND KEPT IT FOR HIMSELF.
DIDN'T EVEN SHARE IT WITH
HIS BAND OF MERRY THUGS.
HE WAS THE IDOL OF MANY
A SICILIAN YOUNGSTER.
THAT'S WHAT THEY DID ALL
RIGHT. DELIVERED THE WRONG BED.
YOU DON'T LIKE THIS ONE?
OH, I THINK IT'S STUNNING.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT,
BUT I CAN'T AFFORD IT.
THAT BED BACK THERE MUST COST...
EXACTLY WHAT I PAID
FOR THE ONE I ORDERED.
THEY MADE A MISTAKE. THEY
CHARGED FOR THE INEXPENSIVE BED.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
FROM NEIMAN-MARCUS.
SOPHIA, SHE CAN'T KEEP THAT
BED. THAT'D BE LIKE STEALING.
IT'S ONLY STEALING
IF THEY FIND OUT.
WELL, THE BED'S IN MY
BEDROOM. WHO'S GONNA KNOW?
EVERYONE WHO KNOWS THE BUNT
SIGN ON THE NEW YORK YANKEES.
LOOK, EVERYONE. MISTER TERRIFIC.
ROSE, PLEASE. YOU'RE
EMBARRASSING ME.
OH, I'M SORRY.
I GET SUCH A KICK
OUT OF YOUR SLOGAN.
THAT'S A SLOGAN? "LOOK,
EVERYONE. MISTER TERRIFIC"?
TWENTY-TWO YEARS NEXT FALL.
YOU MUST BE SOPHIA.
I'M BLANCHE DEVEREAUX. A
PLEASURE TO FINALLY MEET YOU.
OH! YOU WATCH THE SHOW?
WHY? I ALREADY KNOW
HOW TO BRUSH MY TEETH.
GOOD FOR YOU. THEN YOU WON'T
BE ROUNDED UP BY THE CAVITY COPS.
OH. DOROTHY, I'M
GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
MEET MISTER TERRIFIC.
OH, MISTER TERRIFIC, MEET
MRS. SEVERELY DEPRESSED.
DOROTHY, WHAT'S WRONG?
I FOUND OUT WHAT
MY JOB AT THE CAMP IS.
HEAD OF ARTS AND CRAFTS. I'LL
BE SPENDING THE ENTIRE SUMMER
GLUING MACARONI TO
CONSTRUCTION PAPER.
DOROTHY'S A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER
LOOKING FOR SUMMERTIME WORK.
REALLY? I MIGHT BE
ABLE TO HELP YOU OUT.
MY PRODUCER'S BEEN LOOKING FOR
SOMEONE WITH EDUCATION CREDENTIALS
TO ACT AS A CONSULTANT
ON THE SHOW.
IT SOUNDS LIKE IT
COULD BE INTERESTING.
OH, I DOUBT IT.
THE ONLY REALLY INTERESTING
JOB ON THE SHOW IS BEING ME.
BUT I'LL BE GLAD TO
SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
ROSE, WE BETTER GET GOING.
IF YOU CAN DO ANYTHING TO
HELP, IT WOULD BE REALLY...
TERRIFIC?
NICE MEETING YOU.
GOOD-BYE.
GOOD-BYE AND THANK YOU.
DON'T COUNT ON
THAT JOB, DOROTHY.
MANY WOMEN HAVE
HAD THEIR HOPES DASHED
BY SMOOTH-TALKING TV SHARPIES.
DAVE GARROWAY TOLD
ME IF I TREATED HIM RIGHT,
I'D BE HIS SIDEKICK
ON THE TODAY SHOW.
I SAID NO AND HE ENDED
UP WITH A MONKEY.
DRAW YOUR OWN CONCLUSIONS.
♪ T-E-DOUBLE-R-I-F-I-C
♪ SHOVE A "MR." IN THE
FRONT AND YOU'VE GOT ME ♪
OKAY, BOYS AND GIRLS,
IT'S TIME TO LEARN
ABOUT OUR SPECIAL WORD.
KOLAK!
TELL US WHAT TODAY'S
SPECIAL WORD IS.
SPLOTNICK.
THE WORD FOR TODAY IS "HOT."
"HOT" HAS A LOT OF MEANINGS,
BOYS AND GIRLS.
COFFEE IS HOT.
A STOVE IS HOT.
ANGIE DICKINSON IS HOT.
VERY FUNNY, MR. STAGE MANAGER.
AND NOW, BOYS AND
GIRLS, WE'RE GOING TO...
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
MY... MY SUPER-TERRIFIC
HEARING DETECTS A VISITOR.
IT'S MR. POLICEMAN!
DISGUISED AS MR. MAILMAN.
WHY? WHY? WHY
DON'T I FIND OUT WHY
WHILE YOU BOYS AND GIRLS WATCH
ANOTHER VERY SPECIAL ADVENTURE
OF RICKY THE FLYING TURTLE.
SEE YOU IN A FEW MINUTES.
CLEAR!
FREDDY.
IT'S BEEN 16 YEARS. WHEN
ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN?
TUESDAY, IT'S MR. POLICEMAN.
THURSDAY, IT'S MR. MAILMAN.
AND HE WONDERS WHY HE
CAN'T HAVE HIS OWN SERIES.
DOROTHY, I READ YOUR MEMO.
I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK.
WELL, THANK YOU,
MR. HASTINGS. THANK YOU.
YOU'VE GOT MODERN IDEAS
FOR A WOMAN YOUR AGE.
YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT.
NO. NO. I MEAN IT. I
REALLY THINK YOU'RE OLD.
DOROTHY, HOW'S THE SHOW GOING?
TERRIBLE. BUT BETTER
THAN THIRTYSOMETHING.
FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO.
WASN'T THAT FUN, BOYS AND GIRLS?
TWYLAR.
KOLAK SAYS THAT I HAVE TO RETURN
TO MY HOME PLANET
OF TWYLAR IMMEDIATELY!
SO WE'LL JUST SAY
GOOD-BYE THIS TIME,
UNTIL NEXT TIME, BOYS AND GIRLS,
WHEN YOU TURN ON
YOUR TV SETS AND HEAR...
LOOK, EVERYONE! MISTER TERRIFIC!
CLEAR!
HI, ROSE. LET ME CHANGE
CAPES AND WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY.
- IN MY OFFICE, TERRIFIC, NOW.
- SAY "PLEASE," MR. PRODUCER.
LITTLE TWERP. HE WAS ON
MY SHOW WHEN HE WAS FIVE.
HE SAT ON MY LAP AND PEED ON ME.
I GUESS OLD HABITS DIE HARD.
WHY DON'T I GO BACK WITH DOROTHY AND
YOU CAN STOP BY WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED.
YOU'RE A TERRIFIC
LADY, ROSE NYLUND.
THANK YOU.
HOW COME YOU'RE NOT WEARING
THE TERRIFIC LADY BUTTON I GOT?
OOH, SORRY. YES. RIGHT.
I'M NUTS ABOUT THAT GUY.
YOU'D HAVE TO BE.
BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S SO STRANGE.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
IT'S LIKE DATING A SUPERHERO.
SURE I CAN. WHY, MY STAN AND
SUPERMAN HAD A LOT IN COMMON.
THEY WERE BOTH FASTER
THAN A SPEEDING BULLET.
I HAVEN'T HAD A DECENT
NIGHT'S SLEEP IN WEEKS.
EVERY TIME I CLIMB
INTO BED, I FEEL GUILTY.
TAKE DOWN THE VIDEO EQUIPMENT.
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE BRASS
BED. I SHOULDN'T HAVE KEPT IT.
ROSE WAS RIGHT.
IT'S LIKE STEALING.
CALL THE STORE AND RETURN IT.
I'VE HAD IT OVER THREE
WEEKS. THEY WON'T TAKE IT BACK.
HOW MUCH WEAR CAN YOU
GIVE A BED IN JUST THREE WEEKS?
I SEE YOUR POINT.
HI.
I THOUGHT YOU HAD A
DATE WITH MISTER TERRIFIC.
HE'LL BE OVER.
THE PRODUCER HAD TO HAVE
AN IMPORTANT MEETING WITH HIM.
I HAVE A FEELING
IT WAS TO DISCUSS
THE RECOMMENDATIONS THAT I MADE.
I HOPE YOU RECOMMENDED
HE DO SOME EXERCISE.
A MAN SHOULDN'T BE
ALLOWED TO WEAR TIGHTS
UNLESS HE'S GOT A
BUTT LIKE BARYSHNIKOV.
THERE HE IS.
DOROTHY, WHAT DO YOU
THINK I OUGHTA DO WITH MY BED?
PUT IT IN THE
SMITHSONIAN, BLANCHE.
IT HAS MORE MILES ON IT
THAN THE SPIRIT OF ST. LOUIS.
I AM SERIOUS. WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG.
PLEASE. IN BED,
SHE ONLY KNOWS THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN RIGHT AND LEFT.
HONEY, WHY ARE YOU STILL
WEARING YOUR COSTUME?
I COULDN'T WAIT TO
GET OUT OF THERE.
WHY? WHAT HAPPENED?
THEY FIRED ME!
AND IT'S ALL HER FAULT!
FIRED YOU? HOW COULD
THEY FIRE MISTER TERRIFIC?
HOW? I'LL TELL YOU HOW.
THE NEWLY HIRED
AMATEUR CONSULTANT
HAD A FEW RECOMMENDATIONS
ON HOW TO IMPROVE MY SHOW.
THEY WERE ONLY SUGGESTIONS...
IDEAS THAT I THOUGHT
WOULD HELP THE SHOW.
OH, LIKE CHANGING
THE THEME SONG?
WELL, I MEAN, FRANKLY,
THE LYRICS ARE A BIT INANE.
I WROTE THOSE LYRICS.
HOW DID DOROTHY GET YOU FIRED?
THEY LOVED HER IDEAS.
THEY SAID I SHOULD USE THEM.
I SAID NO. THEY
SAID, "YOU'RE FIRED."
IT WAS NEVER MY INTENTION
FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.
I'LL GO IN THE MORNING
AND TALK TO HIM.
DON'T WORRY. IF DOROTHY
SAYS SHE'LL GET YOUR JOB BACK,
THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT SHE'S GONNA DO.
I GUESS IT'S WORTH A SHOT.
LOOK. HERE'S WHERE
YOU CAN REACH ME.
CALL IF YOU WORK THINGS OUT.
- I'LL BE THERE
UNTIL SHOW TIME.
- FINE.
- ONE MORE THING.
- WHAT'S THAT?
LEAVE BY THE BACK DOOR.
MR. HASTINGS, I NEED
TO SPEAK WITH YOU.
I'VE GOT A SHOW
TO AIR AND NO STAR.
- FIND HIM YET?
- I KNOW WHERE
MISTER TERRIFIC IS.
NOT MISTER
TERRIFIC. MR. MAILMAN.
HE'S OUR GUEST HOST,
BUT HE'S DISAPPEARED.
OH, UH, TRY THE LADIES ROOM.
I FOUND HIM THERE ONCE WHEN
HE WAS PLAYING MRS. NURSE.
- I DIDN'T KNOW WE
HAD A MRS. NURSE.
- WE DON'T.
LOOK, MR. HASTINGS, WHEN I
MADE THOSE RECOMMENDATIONS,
I NEVER INTENDED FOR YOU
TO FIRE MISTER TERRIFIC.
- I WAS MERELY...
- THE GUY IS HISTORY.
PEOPLE DON'T WANT THAT
KIND OF SHOW ANYMORE.
- THE PUBLIC LOVES HIM.
- THE NUMBERS SAY DIFFERENT.
- I FOUND HIM.
- GREAT.
YOU GOT TWO MINUTES.
I'M NOT GOING ON. NO ONE
CAN REPLACE MISTER TERRIFIC.
YOU CAN SAY GOOD-BYE
TO MR. POLICEMAN.
IT'S THURSDAY. I THOUGHT HE
WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MR. MAILMAN.
WHAT DO WE DO?
YOUR STAR IS A PHONE CALL AWAY.
GIVE ME THE WORD, AND
MISTER TERRIFIC WILL BE BACK.
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.
I THINK I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA.
- HI.
- HI.
WELL, I GUESS YOUR FRIEND
COULDN'T WORK THINGS OUT.
THERE'S STILL TIME.
I THINK MY TIME
HAS PASSED, ROSE.
TWENTY-TWO YEARS,
I'VE BEEN MISTER TERRIFIC.
TWENTY-TWO YEARS!
I WAS DOING WEEKEND
WEATHER FORECAST
WHEN I TURNED AN OLD
BLANKET INTO A CAPE
AND CREATED MISTER TERRIFIC.
KOLAK THE PUPPET? I
MADE HIM FROM A SOCK.
TEN MINUTES BEFORE
AIRTIME. IT WAS AN ARGYLE.
BACK IN THOSE DAYS, KOLAK
USED TO BE FROM SCOTLAND.
EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT SHOW
CAME FROM INSIDE MY HEAD.
AND OFF YOUR FOOT.
KIDS STARTED
TUNING IN IN DROVES.
THE CRITICS CALLED ME
THE NEXT CAPTAIN KANGAROO.
MR. GREEN JEANS
SENT ME A FAN LETTER.
I'M NOT GOING TO
LET IT END LIKE THIS.
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY FANS
WOULD WANT IT THIS WAY.
DOROTHY WON'T LET YOU DOWN. I'LL
BET SHE'S ON HER WAY TO A PHONE.
SO I'M MRS. SCHOOLTEACHER.
AND I'M GOING TO BE YOUR
FRIEND JUST FOR TODAY.
OF COURSE KOLAK FROM
TWYLAR WILL ALSO BE HERE.
LATER.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
BACK TO THE STUDIO. THERE'S
ONLY ONE THING LEFT TO DO.
WHO WAS THAT NUT?
I DON'T KNOW. MISTER TERRIFIC
USUALLY COMES IN ALONE.
SO YOU SEE, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
THAT WE EAT LOTS OF FRUITS AND
GRAINS AND TRY TO AVOID SWEETS.
RIGHT, KOLAK?
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
TO AVOID SWEETS?
IT'S NOT A PRETTY
PICTURE FROM DOWN HERE.
WHY, KOLAK, I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT YOU COULD SPEAK ENGLISH.
WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW COULD
FILL A SPACE THE SIZE OF GUAM.
SINCE YOU'VE BROUGHT UP GUAM,
WHY DON'T WE TALK ABOUT
GEOGRAPHY FOR A LITTLE BIT.
YOU WANNA SEE SOME GEOGRAPHY,
LADY? I'LL SHOW YOU GEOGRAPHY.
WHOA, KOLAK!
YOU KNOW WHAT WE CALL THIS
ON THE PLANET TWYLAR, HUH?
OH, MRS. SCHOOLTEACHER, LIKE
THAT'S REALLY GONNA SHUT ME UP.
- WHAT'LL WE DO NOW?
- WHY DON'T YOU TELL
THE BOYS AND GIRLS
HOW YOU GAVE MISTER
TERRIFIC THE AX?
A CARTOON. A CARTOON.
THAT'S RIGHT. HERE WE GO.
- YOU'RE CLEAR!
- THAT'S IT. I'M FINISHED.
DOROTHY, CALM DOWN.
THINGS ARE GOING VERY WELL.
VERY WELL? THEY
WERE TRYING TO KILL ME.
THEY WANT MISTER
TERRIFIC BACK, AND SO DO I.
DOROTHY, HOW COULD YOU? I
THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND.
I AM, ROSE. I AM.
THEY WERE PUSHING ME
OUT THERE. BEFORE I KNEW IT,
I WAS SINGING THE MISTER
TERRIFIC THEME SONG.
I'M SORRY, ROSE. I DIDN'T
INTEND FOR THIS TO HAPPEN.
EXPLAIN THAT TO MISTER TERRIFIC.
HE THINKS YOU STOLE HIS JOB.
I PROMISE. THE MINUTE I SEE HIM.
HE'S RIGHT HERE.
WE... WHERE'D HE GO?
MISTER TERRIFIC'S ON THE
LEDGE LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO JUMP!
OH!
HEY! HEY! WHERE'S EVERYBODY
GOING? WE'VE GOT A SHOW TO DO.
YOU'RE ON.
I'M ON IN FIVE,
FOUR, THREE, TWO.
HI, KIDS!
HI THERE, MISTER
TERRIFIC. HOW YOU DOING?
TERRIFIC.
UH, WHY DON'T YOU COME INSIDE.
I CAN'T FLY FROM INSIDE.
THAT'S HOW SUPERMAN DOES
IT. I HAVE TO FLY FROM THE LEDGE.
THAT'S HOW WE DO IT BACK
ON THE PLANET TWYLAR.
HOW'S HE DOING?
RIGHT NOW,
SQUEAKY FROMME HAS A
BETTER GRASP ON REALITY.
HI, HONEY.
HI, ROSE. I CAN SEE
YOUR HOUSE FROM HERE.
REALLY? WHERE?
ROSE!
HONEY, WE...
COME IN OFF THE LEDGE.
WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
I'M NOT GOING TO JUMP.
THAT WOULD BE CRAZY.
- OH, THANK GOODNESS.
- I'M GOING TO FLY.
YOU CAN'T FLY.
MISTER TERRIFIC CAN DO ANYTHING.
OF COURSE YOU CAN, MISTER
TERRIFIC. ROSE, DON'T ARGUE WITH HIM.
MISTER TERRIFIC, I THINK THAT
LEX LUTHOR AND THE JOKER
ARE HARASSING AN OLD
LADY IN THE STAIRWELL.
COULD YOU COME IN AND MELT
THEM WITH YOUR X-RAY VISION?
MISTER TERRIFIC DOESN'T
HAVE X-RAY VISION.
PLEASE, ROSE! THIS IS NO TIME
TO POINT OUT HIS SHORTCOMINGS!
MISTER TERRIFIC, PLEASE COME
INSIDE. I DON'T WANT YOUR JOB.
WE'LL GET IT BACK FOR YOU.
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY, AND
THAT'S TO PROVE TO MY FANS
THAT I DESERVE THE
NAME MISTER TERRIFIC.
HELLO, FANS!
IT'S ME, MISTER TERRIFIC!
JUMP! JUMP!
THERE'S ONLY ONE
WAY TO HANDLE THIS.
ROSE! ROSE, NO!
ROSE! ROSE, DON'T GO
OUT... ROSE, COME BACK HERE!
DON'T WORRY, DOROTHY.
I WAS TRAINED IN
PSYCHOLOGY BACK IN ST. OLAF.
THAT DOESN'T COUNT, ROSE.
IN ST. OLAF, THEY THINK THAT
FREUD IS A WAY TO COOK CHICKEN.
HONEY, DO YOU STILL
THINK YOU CAN FLY?
YES.
IF YOU'RE GONNA FLY, YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO TAKE ME.
- DO YOU STILL WANNA DO IT?
- ABSOLUTELY.
I REALLY SHOULD'VE
PAID CLOSER ATTENTION
DURING THAT REFRESHER COURSE
BACK AT THE JUNIOR COLLEGE.
OH, MY GOD! HE'S... FLYING.
WAIT. WASN'T IT DANGEROUS
FLYING AROUND THAT BUILDING?
NOT AT ALL. I WAS RIGGED IN A
HARNESS SUSPENDED BY CABLES.
YEAH, BUT ROSE WASN'T.
OH, I WASN'T WORRIED. I KNOW
MISTER TERRIFIC'S SUPERHERO CODE.
HE'D NEVER DROP A GIRL.
I'M GLAD THE PUBLICITY
STUNT WORKED,
AND I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER
THAT YOU GOT YOUR JOB BACK.
FREDDY'LL BE HERE. WE'VE
GOT A LOT TO CELEBRATE.
YES. I'M STILL MISTER TERRIFIC,
AND HE'S STILL MR. POLICEMAN.
I CANNOT SLEEP ANYMORE.
I LIE THERE WAITING FOR THE
AUTHORITIES TO CATCH UP WITH ME.
EVERY SIREN I HEAR IS FOR ME.
EVERY FOOTSTEP OUTSIDE MY WINDOW
BELONGS TO THAT OBSESSIVE DETECTIVE
WHO WILL NOT REST
UNTIL HE TRACKS ME DOWN!
BLANCHE, YOU ARE
BEING RIDICULOUS.
OH, THANK GOD! I CAN'T LIVE
WITH MYSELF ANYMORE. TAKE ME.
- BLANCHE!
- DOROTHY, PLEASE. I KNOW WHAT'S BEST.
JUST SLAP THE HANDCUFFS
ON ME. THE BED'S THIS WAY.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY?
I WAS SUPPOSED TO
BE MR. MAILMAN TODAY.