The Golden Girls (1985–1992): Season 2, Episode 6 - Big Daddy's Little Lady - full transcript
Blanche's father reveals that he is getting married. Meanwhile, Dorothy and Rose enter a songwriting contest.
♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND
♪ TRAVELED DOWN THE
ROAD AND BACK AGAIN
♪ YOUR HEART IS TRUE
♪ YOU'RE A PAL AND A CONFIDANTE
♪ AND IF YOU THREW A PARTY
♪ INVITED EVERYONE YOU KNEW
♪ YOU WOULD SEE THE
BIGGEST GIFT WOULD BE FROM ME
♪ AND THE CARD
ATTACHED WOULD SAY
♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND ♪
MORNING, MA. WORKING
ON A CROSSWORD PUZZLE?
NOPE. JUST LINING
UP A FEW DATES.
LET'S SEE. MARIA MALANERO,
85, DIED OF NATURAL CAUSES,
SURVIVED BY HER
HUSBAND TONY MALANERO.
YOU'RE GETTING DATES OUT
OF THE OBITUARIES? THAT'S SICK!
IT IS NOT SICK. IT'S PRACTICAL.
LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING.
MARIA'S LOSS IS MY DATE
FOR THE EARLY BIRD SPECIAL.
DOROTHY, THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
LOOK AT THIS!
HEART SURGEON TURNS OUT
TO BE PRODUCE MANAGER AT A&P.
FURTHER OVER.
MIAMI RETAILERS TO SPONSOR
SONGWRITING CONTEST?
THE MIAMI RETAILERS
ARE AWARDING $10,000
TO THE PERSON WHO COMES UP
WITH THE BEST NEW SONG ABOUT MIAMI.
- $10,000?
- THAT'S RIGHT. I'M GONNA ENTER.
YOU?
I HAVE WRITTEN SONGS BEFORE. I WROTE
THE FIGHT SONG FOR OUR HIGH SCHOOL.
ONWARD, ST OLAF,
THEY STILL SING IT.
♪ ONWARD, ST OLAF ♪ ONWARD WE GO
♪ ONWARD AND ONWARD ST OLAF'S GO
♪ GO, GO, GO ♪
GO, GO, GO GO, GO...
ROSE, ROSE, I TELL YOU...
HONEY, IT'S A CATCHY TUNE,
BUT WHO WROTE THOSE LYRICS?
I DID! LYRICS AREN'T
EVEN MY STRONG POINT.
I JUST GOT LUCKY THAT ONE TIME.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GET A LOT LUCKIER
THAN, "GO, GO, GO," TO WIN THAT $10,000.
ROSE, I HAVE TO CONFESS,
I... DABBLED A LITTLE IN
POETRY-WRITING IN HIGH SCHOOL.
THAT'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!
A LOT OF TALL GIRLS WHO COULDN'T
GET DATES WROTE POETRY IN HIGH SCHOOL.
NO, I MEANT THAT FOR $10,000
I MIGHT TRY MY HAND
AT LYRIC-WRITING.
I MEAN, MAYBE WE COULD TEAM UP.
MUSIC BY ROSE NYLUND AND
LYRICS BY DOROTHY ZBORNAK?
WELL, WHY NOT?
WE COULD BE THE NEXT
RODGERS AND HAMMERSTEIN!
THE NEXT SIMON AND
GARFUNKEL! THE NEXT...
SHARI LEWIS AND LAMB CHOP!
I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD GET MY
HAND THAT FAR UP YOUR DRESS.
BUT FOR $10,000, I'D BE
WILLING TO GIVE IT A TRY!
- GOOD MORNING!
- OH, HI, BLANCHE.
DOROTHY AND I HAVE DECIDED TO
ENTER A SONGWRITING CONTEST TOGETHER.
OH, NOW, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!
I ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE A SONG.
IT'S LIKE WRITING POETRY,
WHICH I WAS NEVER ANY GOOD AT.
ONLY THE TALL GIRLS WHO
COULDN'T GET DATES WROTE POETRY!
HELLO? OH, HELLO, BIG DADDY!
NO, NO, NO, SHE'S RIGHT HERE.
YEAH, YOU TAKE CARE, TOO.
BYE-BYE, BIG.
BIG DADDY! HOW IN
THE WORLD ARE YOU?
I'M JUST FINE.
HOW CAN YOU SAY I LOOK YOUNGER AND
MORE BEAUTIFUL OVER THE TELEPHONE?
NO, IT'S TRUE, I JUST WONDERED
HOW YOU KNEW OVER THE TELEPHONE.
YOU'RE KIDDING! THAT'S GREAT!
OK, I'LL SEE YOU FRIDAY
AT FOUR. BYE-BYE!
HOW EXCITING! BIG DADDY'S
GOING TO BE HERE ON FRIDAY.
HE HAS A SURPRISE FOR ME.
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT IT IS!
TONY MALANERO WON'T GO
OUT WITH ME FRIDAY NIGHT!
MA, I'M NOT SURPRISED. HIS WIFE JUST
DIED! THE MAN IS STILL IN MOURNING.
THAT'S NOT THE REASON. MAY
BLOOMFIELD BEAT ME TO HIM.
HI. DID YOU GET A CHANCE TO PLAY
AROUND WITH THOSE LYRICS I GAVE YOU?
YEAH. LISTEN TO THIS.
HEY, THAT SOUNDS GREAT!
LET'S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP.
"FROM THE TOP." OH,
THAT SOUNDS SO MUSICAL!
TICKLE THE IVORIES, ROSE.
COOCHY-COOCHY-COOCHY-COO!
ROSE, PLAY OR DIE.
♪ MIAMI IS NICE ♪
SO I'LL SAY IT TWICE
♪ MIAMI IS NICE, MIAMI IS NICE
♪ MIAMI IS N...
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT. YOU
PUT IN AN EXTRA "MIAMI IS NICE."
I HAD TO, FOR THE MUSIC'S SAKE.
BUT THE LYRICS DON'T
MAKE ANY SENSE! IT GOES,
♪ MIAMI IS NICE ♪
SO I'LL SAY IT TWICE
OH, I SEE YOUR POINT.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT THIS?
♪ MIAMI IS NICE ♪
SO I'LL SAY IT THRICE
- WHO THE HELL SAYS "THRICE"?
- IT'S A WORD.
SO IS "INTRAUTERINE".
BUT IT DOES NOT
BELONG IN A SONG.
♪ MIAMI... YOU'RE CUTER THAN
♪ AN INTRAUTERINE...
HERE! ROSE, DOROTHY,
HERE, SMELL ME.
I ONLY DO THAT WITH
THE MILK, BLANCHE.
THIS IS THE LAST DROP OF THAT
PERFUME BIG DADDY GAVE ME ON MY 21ST.
THAT WAS 20 YEARS AGO!
OOH, BLANCHE! IF YOUR 21ST
BIRTHDAY WAS THEN, YOU'D ONLY BE 41.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- YOU LOOK AWFUL FOR YOUR AGE.
- HOWDY, DOROTHY!
- MR HOLLINGSWORTH!
- COME IN.
- ROSE!
BIG DADDY, LET ME LOOK AT YOU!
OH... LET ME LOOK AT YOU.
YOU'RE STILL AS
PRETTY AS A LADYBUG
SUNNING ITSELF ON A LILY PAD
ON A MISTY SPRING DAY
SOUTH OF SAVANNAH.
COULD YOU BE MORE
SPECIFIC, BIG DADDY?
DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME
OR DO I SEE SOPHIA PETRILLO
STANDING BEFORE ME?
OR DID YOU ALL GET SOPHIA
LOREN AS THE NEW ROOMMATE?
GET OUT THE BOOTS. HE'S BACK.
COME ON. SIT DOWN HERE
ON THE SOFA BETWIXT US.
- "BETWIXT"?
- ANOTHER WORD YOU DON'T KNOW!
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE THRICE OF
THEM WERE SITTING ON THE COUCH TOGETHER.
BIG DADDY, WHAT'S THIS SURPRISE?
TELL ME, TELL ME BEFORE I BURST!
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'LL
TAKE THIS. HERE GOES.
THERE'S A LADYFRIEND I'VE BEEN
SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH RECENTLY.
- DO I KNOW HER?
- I DON'T THINK SO.
HELEN AND ROONEY
MCCOY INTRODUCED ME
TO WIDOW SPENCER AT THEIR
SON'S WEDDING A FEW MONTHS AGO.
- I'D LIKE TO MEET HER SOMETIME.
- SHE'S COMING TOMORROW EVENING.
JUST EXACTLY WHAT IS
THIS SURPRISE, DADDY?
DON'T GET TOO EXCITED, BUT WE'RE
PLANNING ON WALKING DOWN THE AISLE.
IS SHE HAPPY OR SAD?
I'M NOT SURE. SHE'S NEVER
MADE THAT SOUND BEFORE.
I ONCE HEARD HER MAKE
THAT SOUND. SHE WAS HAPPY.
DADDY, I HAVE NEVER BEEN
HAPPIER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!
I'M GLAD. I WAS WORRIED
HOW YOU'D REACT.
NOBODY CAN EVER
REPLACE MOMMA IN MY HEART,
BUT THE IMPORTANT THING
IS FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY.
- ALL THE BEST.
- I HOPE YOU TWO WILL BE HAPPY!
I'LL THROW YOU AND THE WIDOW
SPENCER THE BEST WEDDING EVER!
WE HATE FUSS, WE'RE GETTING
MARRIED IN THE BAHAMAS.
NO, A HOLLINGSWORTH HAS
TO GET MARRIED IN STYLE.
I DON'T WANT TO IMPOSE.
NO, LET'S HAVE THE WEDDING HERE.
WE'LL EVEN WRITE A
SONG FOR THE OCCASION.
NO, WE WON'T, ROSE.
- OH, DADDY, PLEASE.
- OH, ALL RIGHT!
I NEVER COULD SAY NO TO YOU.
HELLO?
OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.
A TRAGEDY.
A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY.
MAY SHE REST IN PEACE.
GREAT NEWS. THERESA
LOMBARDI PASSED AWAY.
MA, WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT THAT?
HER HUSBAND FREDDY,
HE HAS NOTHING TO DO,
AND NEITHER OF US HAS
SEEN RUTHLESS PEOPLE.
DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE? WE'VE BEEN
UP ALL NIGHT WORKING ON A SONG.
I THINK WE MIGHT'VE
HIT ON SOMETHING!
♪ M-I-A, ANOTHER M-I
♪ M-I-A-M-I SPELLS "MIAMI BEACH"
GIRLS!
♪ IT STIRS EMOTION GIRLS!
♪ IT'S BY THE OCEAN GIRLS!
♪ SO BRING YOUR SUNTAN...
- GIRLS!
- WHAT?
WELL, M-I-A-M-I DON'T
SPELL "MIAMI BEACH".
THAT SPELLS "MIAMI".
- I TOLD YOU NOT TO ADD "BEACH".
- OH, FINE, FINE.
YOU FIND SOMETHING TO
RHYME WITH "MIAMI", HOTSHOT!
MAMMY! WHAMMY, CLAMMY,
ALABAMY, HOOTENANNY, SALAMI!
"HOOTENANNY" IS MARGINAL,
AND I REFUSE TO ACCEPT "SALAMI".
I HAVE TO GO PUT UP SOME COFFEE.
I'M EXPECTING THAT
LADY FROM THE CATERER'S.
I DON'T WANT TO
BE A BAD HOSTESS.
"SALAMI", PLEASE!
I NEVER HAD THIS TROUBLE
WHEN I WORKED ALONE.
WHEN YOU WORKED ALONE,
YOU COULD ONLY
RHYME "GO" WITH "GO".
- HELLO.
- PLEASE COME IN.
YOU MUST BE FROM
THE CATERING COMPANY.
ACTUALLY, I'M FROM ATLANTA.
I'M MARGARET SPENCER.
WHOA!
WHAT A COINCIDENCE! BLANCHE'S FATHER IS
MARRYING A MARGARET SPENCER FROM ATLANTA.
ONLY SHE'S MUCH
OLDER... I THINK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, DOROTHY?
WHOA!
I'M JUST GETTING SO EXCITED
ABOUT BIG DADDY'S WEDDING.
- HELLO. I'M BLANCHE DEVEREAUX.
- BLANCHE, THIS IS ER...
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET ER...
SAY HELLO TO BIG MOMMY.
I'M SORRY I'M SO EARLY.
TRAFFIC WASN'T WHAT I EXPECTED.
WELL, THE IMPORTANT THING
IS, YOU GOT HERE SAFELY!
IT'S SO GOOD TO FINALLY
MEET YOU, BLANCHE.
YOUR FATHER'S TOLD
ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU!
- I WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME!
- MARGARET, PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
WE OUGHT TO GET
HER A BOOSTER SEAT!
- ER, CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?
- CHOCOLATE MILK?
SO, MARGARET,
YOU'RE FROM ATLANTA.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT CHILD IS TRYING
TO STEAL MY DADDY AWAY!
SHE'S NO BETTER THAN A
TICK ON A SLOW-MOVING DOG.
WHY IS EVERYONE AROUND
HERE TALKING LIKE BURL IVES?
I'LL GET IT.
LOVELY CITY. HAVE THEY REBUILT IT SINCE
IT BURNED DOWN IN GONE WITH THE WIND?
OH, BIG DADDY! I'M
GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
I SEE YOU'RE GETTING
ACQUAINTED. HI, DARLING.
OH... WE NEED TO TALK.
ROSE, LET'S SHOW MARGARET
HOW YOU MAKE THE HOSE
DANCE AROUND WHEN
YOU TURN IT ON FULL BLAST.
YOU SAID I COULDN'T
DO THAT ANYMORE!
TODAY'S A SPECIAL DAY.
SHE MAKES IT ALL TWIRL
AROUND. OH, IT'S SUCH FUN!
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF MAGGIE?
- DOES IT MATTER?
- OF COURSE IT DOES!
ALL RIGHT, THEN. I'LL BE FRANK.
- SHE'S A GOLD-DIGGIN' HUSSY!
- YOU WATCH YOUR TONGUE, MISSY.
THAT WOMAN IS TOO YOUNG FOR YOU.
SHE'S PRACTICALLY MY AGE!
I'M NOT ASHAMED TO
LOVE A YOUNGER WOMAN.
- WHY KEEP IT A SECRET?
- I DIDN'T.
I DIDN'T THINK AGE
MATTERED TO YOU.
DADDY, THIS IS WRONG! YOU'RE
JUST MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF!
AS LONG AS THE GOOD LORD KEEPS
ME ON THIS EARTH, I'M YOUR FATHER.
DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME A FOOL!
DADDY, JUST PLEASE
CALL OFF THIS WEDDING!
ONCE, IN GRADE SCHOOL, I
CROSSED A RUTABAGA AND A POTATO,
BUT I COULDN'T DECIDE WHETHER TO
CALL IT A "RUTATATO" OR A "POTATOBAGA".
YEAH, YOU'LL HAVE
TO EXCUSE ROSE.
THAT HOSE DANCE BRINGS UP
A LOT OF CHILDHOOD MEMORIES.
CAN I PLEASE SPEAK
TO YOU IN PRIVATE?
BLANCHE, THIS
CONVERSATION IS OVER.
MARGARET, WE'RE LEAVING.
DADDY!
THIS WOMAN IS NOT FOR YOU. YOU'RE JUST
DRAGGING OUR FAMILY NAME THROUGH THE MUD!
BLANCHE, I'VE ALWAYS GIVEN
YOU MY LOVE AND RESPECT.
IF YOU CAN'T GIVE A LITTLE BACK,
YOU'RE NO LONGER A PART OF OUR FAMILY!
DOROTHY, WE'RE DOING GREAT. THE SONG WILL
BE FINE! WE JUST NEED A RHYME FOR "ORANGE".
WHAT RHYMES WITH "ORANGE"?
- CHEESECAKE?
- "ORANGE CHEESECAKE".
"ORANGE CHEESECAKE"... I
SUPPOSE THAT COULD WORK.
I MEANT TO EAT, ROSE.
- WHY ARE YOU NOT AT THE PIANO?
- WE'RE BLOCKED.
I'VE BEEN HAVING GOOD LUCK WITH TANK,
IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY A GRANOLA BAR.
- HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- I FEEL TERRIBLE. I'M A WRECK.
ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS
BIG DADDY AND THAT WOMAN!
CUT ME SOME CHEESECAKE. BIGGER!
WHY ARE YOU GETTING SO UPSET?
YOU SEE OLDER MEN WITH YOUNGER
WOMEN ALL THE TIME! IT'S VERY COMMON.
LOOK AT JOHN DEREK
AND URSULA ANDRESS.
JOHN DEREK AND LINDA EVANS.
JOHN DEREK AND BO DEREK.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S NOT SO
COMMON. MAYBE IT'S JUST ONE GUY.
IF OLDER MEN KNEW HOW RIDICULOUS
THEY LOOK WITH YOUNGER WOMEN,
- THEY WOULDN'T DO IT.
- THEY DON'T SEE IT THAT WAY.
IN A RESTAURANT THE OTHER NIGHT,
A MAN OF 60 WALKED IN WEARING FOUR GOLD
CHAINS AND HIS SHIRT OPEN TO HIS NAVEL.
I THOUGHT PEOPLE WERE STARING
AT THE SCARS TO HIS BYPASS SURGERY.
THEY WERE STARING AT THE
22-YEAR-OLD BLONDE ON HIS ARM.
HONEY, HE WAS NOT
EMBARRASSED, HE WAS PROUD.
MAYBE HE WAS OUT WITH
THE WOMAN HE LOVED!
PLEASE, ROSE! THERE WAS
A 40-YEAR AGE DIFFERENCE.
WHAT COULD THEY
POSSIBLY HAVE IN COMMON?
WELL, GIRLS, LOVE HAS NO
DEFINITION, NO BOUNDARIES.
AGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
SOMETIMES TWO PEOPLE WHO
SEEM TO HAVE THE LEAST IN COMMON
TURN OUT TO BE THE MOST IN LOVE!
THAT WAS THE CASE WITH OLLIE
STETTLENMEIER AND MOLLY-JANE DOE.
OLLIE AND MOLLY?
MUST WE TAKE YET ANOTHER
TRIP TO PETTICOAT JUNCTION?
OLLIE WAS THE MAYOR AND OUR
TOWN'S MOST-RESPECTED CITIZEN.
HE WAS ALSO ARTISTIC DIRECTOR AT
THE ST OLAF COMMUNITY PLAYHOUSE.
A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THIS,
BUT THE FAMILY DRAMA HEY, THAT'S
MY TRACTOR STARTED RIGHT THERE.
WASN'T THE MUSICAL VERSION
CALLED, HEY, HEY, THAT'S MY TRACTOR?
ANYWAY, DURING THE AUDITIONS,
THE FIRST WOMAN WHO
WALKED THROUGH THAT DOOR
WAS MOLLY-JANE DOE,
THE TOWN MANICURIST.
FOR FIVE EXTRA DOLLARS, SHE'D
BUFF MORE THAN YOUR NAILS.
FIVE DOLLARS?
IT WAS DURING THE DEPRESSION.
HEY, IN ITALY, FOR FIVE DOLLARS
YOU GOT A WOMAN, A MANICURE,
A CAPPUCCINO AND A BOX
OF COOKIES FOR YOUR WIFE!
- A FACT. USE IT AS YOU WISH.
- IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
NOBODY IN TOWN COULD
BELIEVE THAT THIS MAN,
WHO'D LIVED FOR 52
YEARS WITH HIS MOTHER,
WOULD FALL HEAD OVER HEELS
IN LOVE WITH THE TOWN SQUEEZE!
BUT HE DID. AND THE NEXT
DAY THEY WERE MARRIED
AND THEY WENT ON TO LIVE
HAPPILY TOGETHER FOR 25 YEARS.
WHAT HAS THIS TO
DO WITH MY FATHER?
BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS
WHY TWO PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE,
AND IT'S REALLY
NOBODY'S BUSINESS!
HE'S MY FATHER.
IT IS MY BUSINESS!
I'LL GIVE THOSE TWO
A PIECE OF MY MIND!
IF YOU GO OVER THERE ANGRY,
YOU'LL MAKE THINGS WORSE.
I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE
TO SAY WHAT I FEEL.
"I HAVE TO SAY WHAT I FEEL."
♪ I HAVE TO SAY WHAT I FEEL
♪ MIAMI HAS SO MUCH APPEAL
♪ A GREAT PLACE TO
GET A SEAFOOD MEAL
♪ MIAMI! ♪
- SIMON?
- YES, GARFUNKEL?
- TO THE EIGHTY-EIGHTS!
- YES!
YES?
YES, JUST GIVE US
SOMETHING ON THE BEACH.
WE'LL BE THERE ON OUR HONEYMOON.
COME ON IN, SWEETHEART.
YES, JUST A SEA VIEW
AND PLENTY OF PRIVACY.
- ISN'T THAT RIGHT, DARLING?
- NO, DADDY, IT ISN'T.
EXCUSE ME. I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO SEE YOU. I
RECKON YOU SPOKE YOUR PIECE ALREADY.
I'VE BEEN THINKING, AND I THINK
I'VE STARTED TO UNDERSTAND
THE REASONS YOU'RE DOING WHAT
YOU'RE DOING. CAN I TALK TO YOU?
DADDY... WHEN A MAN
REACHES YOUR AGE,
HE WONDERS WHO'S GOING TO
BE THERE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM.
YES.
AND HE MIGHT EVEN START
LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY
TO REPLACE HIS FIRST WIFE.
- HE MIGHT.
- HE MIGHT EVEN LOOK FOR WAYS
TO FEEL A LITTLE BIT YOUNGER.
HE CERTAINLY MIGHT.
BUT, DADDY, IS THAT
REASON TO GET MARRIED?
JUST COS SOME PRETTY, SEXY,
BOUNCING, BUBBLY YOUNG THING
TAKES AN INTEREST IN YOU?
HELL, YES.
BUT THERE'S ANOTHER REASON.
BLANCHE, WHEN YOU
SPEND SIX MONTHS
WATCHING THE PERSON YOU LOVE
MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE SLOWLY DIE,
YOU WONDER IF YOU'LL
EVER LOVE AGAIN.
AFTER THAT, BELIEVE ME, IF YOU CAN
EVEN THINK OF MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE,
THERE'S ONLY ONE
REASON. YOU'RE IN LOVE.
I KNOW MOMMA'S DYING
HURT YOU QUITE A BIT.
YES.
BUT I'M TALKING ABOUT MARGARET.
HER HUSBAND DIED TWO YEARS
AGO, SHORTLY AFTER YOUR MOMMA.
- I DIDN'T KNOW.
- SHE LOVES ME
AND I LOVE HER AND WE
WANT TO GET MARRIED.
SORRY, DADDY. I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU
AND IT TURNS OUT YOU DON'T NEED ME.
NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THE REASON WE CAME DOWN
HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE
IS BECAUSE WE DO NEED YOU
AND YOUR BLESSING
ON OUR MARRIAGE.
OH, I'M SORRY.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. I
WAS JUST LEAVING.
I WANT TO SAY
SOMETHING TO YOU FIRST.
WHAT IS IT, BLANCHE?
WELL, LOOKS LIKE YOU AND I HAVE
MORE IN COMMON THAN WE THOUGHT.
WE BOTH LOVE BIG DADDY
AND WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY,
SO WELCOME TO THE FAMILY.
OH, SOPHIA, HERE'S A POSTCARD
FROM BIG DADDY AND MARGARET!
THEY'RE HAVING THE TIME
OF THEIR LIFE IN THE BAHAMAS.
PLEASE! THE BIG NEWS IS, HE
LIVED THROUGH THE WEDDING NIGHT.
PEOPLE IN THEIR SEVENTIES AND
EIGHTIES CAN HAVE GREAT SEX.
YEAH, WITH PEOPLE IN THEIR
SEVENTIES AND EIGHTIES!
PUT ME IN A BEDROOM WITH TOM CRUISE
AND YOU'D BE PEELING ME OFF THE CEILING!
ACCORDING TO BIG DADDY, HE STILL
HAS BOTH HIS FEET ON THE GROUND.
I GOTTA SAY, YOU HANDLED IT
BETTER THAN I THOUGHT YOU WOULD.
I'M NOT THRILLED, BUT AS
LONG AS THEY'RE IN LOVE
AND I DON'T HAVE TO CALL
HER MOMMY, I CAN LIVE WITH IT.
OH, HOW DID YOU DO?
- WE CAME IN SECOND.
- TERRIFIC! WHAT DID YOU GET?
TREATED BADLY.
THEY TOLD US TO GET OUT OF THE WAY
WHEN THEY TOOK THE WINNER'S PICTURE.
PHOTOS AND JUDGES! I'D
LOVE TO HEAR YOUR SONG.
- FORGET IT, BLANCHE.
- THE EXPERIENCE WAS PAINFUL.
- PLEASE...
- WE WANT TO FORGET IT.
- PLEASE...
- HIT IT, ROSE.
♪ I HAVE TO SAY WHAT I FEEL
♪ MIAMI HAS SO MUCH APPEAL
♪ A GREAT PLACE TO
GET A SEAFOOD MEAL
♪ MIAMI ♪ MIAMI, MIAMI
♪ YOU'VE GOT STYLE
♪ BLUE SKIES, SUNSHINE
♪ WHITE SAND BY THE MILE
♪ WHEN YOU LIVE IN THIS TOWN
♪ EACH DAY IS SUBLIME
♪ THE COLDEST OF WINTERS
♪ ARE WARM AND
DIVINE ♪ MIAMI, MIAMI
♪ YOU'VE GOT STYLE
♪ BLUE SKIES, SUNSHINE
♪ WHITE SAND BY THE MILE
♪ THERE'S MORE
CLUBS AND NIGHTCLUBS
♪ ALL WITHIN REACH
♪ DANCE THE SAMBA TILL MORNING
♪ THEN LIE ON THE BEACH
♪ EACH VIEW IS A POSTCARD
♪ EACH DAY A GREAT TIME
♪ THE CREAM OF THE CROP
♪ IT'S THE TOP OF
THE LINE ♪ MIAMI, MIAMI
♪ YOU'VE GOT STYLE
♪ BLUE SKIES, SUNSHINE
♪ WHITE SAND BY THE MILE ♪ MIAMI
♪ YOU'VE GOT STYLE! ♪
♪ TRAVELED DOWN THE
ROAD AND BACK AGAIN
♪ YOUR HEART IS TRUE
♪ YOU'RE A PAL AND A CONFIDANTE
♪ AND IF YOU THREW A PARTY
♪ INVITED EVERYONE YOU KNEW
♪ YOU WOULD SEE THE
BIGGEST GIFT WOULD BE FROM ME
♪ AND THE CARD
ATTACHED WOULD SAY
♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND ♪
MORNING, MA. WORKING
ON A CROSSWORD PUZZLE?
NOPE. JUST LINING
UP A FEW DATES.
LET'S SEE. MARIA MALANERO,
85, DIED OF NATURAL CAUSES,
SURVIVED BY HER
HUSBAND TONY MALANERO.
YOU'RE GETTING DATES OUT
OF THE OBITUARIES? THAT'S SICK!
IT IS NOT SICK. IT'S PRACTICAL.
LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING.
MARIA'S LOSS IS MY DATE
FOR THE EARLY BIRD SPECIAL.
DOROTHY, THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE.
LOOK AT THIS!
HEART SURGEON TURNS OUT
TO BE PRODUCE MANAGER AT A&P.
FURTHER OVER.
MIAMI RETAILERS TO SPONSOR
SONGWRITING CONTEST?
THE MIAMI RETAILERS
ARE AWARDING $10,000
TO THE PERSON WHO COMES UP
WITH THE BEST NEW SONG ABOUT MIAMI.
- $10,000?
- THAT'S RIGHT. I'M GONNA ENTER.
YOU?
I HAVE WRITTEN SONGS BEFORE. I WROTE
THE FIGHT SONG FOR OUR HIGH SCHOOL.
ONWARD, ST OLAF,
THEY STILL SING IT.
♪ ONWARD, ST OLAF ♪ ONWARD WE GO
♪ ONWARD AND ONWARD ST OLAF'S GO
♪ GO, GO, GO ♪
GO, GO, GO GO, GO...
ROSE, ROSE, I TELL YOU...
HONEY, IT'S A CATCHY TUNE,
BUT WHO WROTE THOSE LYRICS?
I DID! LYRICS AREN'T
EVEN MY STRONG POINT.
I JUST GOT LUCKY THAT ONE TIME.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GET A LOT LUCKIER
THAN, "GO, GO, GO," TO WIN THAT $10,000.
ROSE, I HAVE TO CONFESS,
I... DABBLED A LITTLE IN
POETRY-WRITING IN HIGH SCHOOL.
THAT'S NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!
A LOT OF TALL GIRLS WHO COULDN'T
GET DATES WROTE POETRY IN HIGH SCHOOL.
NO, I MEANT THAT FOR $10,000
I MIGHT TRY MY HAND
AT LYRIC-WRITING.
I MEAN, MAYBE WE COULD TEAM UP.
MUSIC BY ROSE NYLUND AND
LYRICS BY DOROTHY ZBORNAK?
WELL, WHY NOT?
WE COULD BE THE NEXT
RODGERS AND HAMMERSTEIN!
THE NEXT SIMON AND
GARFUNKEL! THE NEXT...
SHARI LEWIS AND LAMB CHOP!
I DON'T KNOW IF I COULD GET MY
HAND THAT FAR UP YOUR DRESS.
BUT FOR $10,000, I'D BE
WILLING TO GIVE IT A TRY!
- GOOD MORNING!
- OH, HI, BLANCHE.
DOROTHY AND I HAVE DECIDED TO
ENTER A SONGWRITING CONTEST TOGETHER.
OH, NOW, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!
I ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE A SONG.
IT'S LIKE WRITING POETRY,
WHICH I WAS NEVER ANY GOOD AT.
ONLY THE TALL GIRLS WHO
COULDN'T GET DATES WROTE POETRY!
HELLO? OH, HELLO, BIG DADDY!
NO, NO, NO, SHE'S RIGHT HERE.
YEAH, YOU TAKE CARE, TOO.
BYE-BYE, BIG.
BIG DADDY! HOW IN
THE WORLD ARE YOU?
I'M JUST FINE.
HOW CAN YOU SAY I LOOK YOUNGER AND
MORE BEAUTIFUL OVER THE TELEPHONE?
NO, IT'S TRUE, I JUST WONDERED
HOW YOU KNEW OVER THE TELEPHONE.
YOU'RE KIDDING! THAT'S GREAT!
OK, I'LL SEE YOU FRIDAY
AT FOUR. BYE-BYE!
HOW EXCITING! BIG DADDY'S
GOING TO BE HERE ON FRIDAY.
HE HAS A SURPRISE FOR ME.
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT IT IS!
TONY MALANERO WON'T GO
OUT WITH ME FRIDAY NIGHT!
MA, I'M NOT SURPRISED. HIS WIFE JUST
DIED! THE MAN IS STILL IN MOURNING.
THAT'S NOT THE REASON. MAY
BLOOMFIELD BEAT ME TO HIM.
HI. DID YOU GET A CHANCE TO PLAY
AROUND WITH THOSE LYRICS I GAVE YOU?
YEAH. LISTEN TO THIS.
HEY, THAT SOUNDS GREAT!
LET'S TAKE IT FROM THE TOP.
"FROM THE TOP." OH,
THAT SOUNDS SO MUSICAL!
TICKLE THE IVORIES, ROSE.
COOCHY-COOCHY-COOCHY-COO!
ROSE, PLAY OR DIE.
♪ MIAMI IS NICE ♪
SO I'LL SAY IT TWICE
♪ MIAMI IS NICE, MIAMI IS NICE
♪ MIAMI IS N...
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT. YOU
PUT IN AN EXTRA "MIAMI IS NICE."
I HAD TO, FOR THE MUSIC'S SAKE.
BUT THE LYRICS DON'T
MAKE ANY SENSE! IT GOES,
♪ MIAMI IS NICE ♪
SO I'LL SAY IT TWICE
OH, I SEE YOUR POINT.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT THIS?
♪ MIAMI IS NICE ♪
SO I'LL SAY IT THRICE
- WHO THE HELL SAYS "THRICE"?
- IT'S A WORD.
SO IS "INTRAUTERINE".
BUT IT DOES NOT
BELONG IN A SONG.
♪ MIAMI... YOU'RE CUTER THAN
♪ AN INTRAUTERINE...
HERE! ROSE, DOROTHY,
HERE, SMELL ME.
I ONLY DO THAT WITH
THE MILK, BLANCHE.
THIS IS THE LAST DROP OF THAT
PERFUME BIG DADDY GAVE ME ON MY 21ST.
THAT WAS 20 YEARS AGO!
OOH, BLANCHE! IF YOUR 21ST
BIRTHDAY WAS THEN, YOU'D ONLY BE 41.
- THAT'S RIGHT.
- YOU LOOK AWFUL FOR YOUR AGE.
- HOWDY, DOROTHY!
- MR HOLLINGSWORTH!
- COME IN.
- ROSE!
BIG DADDY, LET ME LOOK AT YOU!
OH... LET ME LOOK AT YOU.
YOU'RE STILL AS
PRETTY AS A LADYBUG
SUNNING ITSELF ON A LILY PAD
ON A MISTY SPRING DAY
SOUTH OF SAVANNAH.
COULD YOU BE MORE
SPECIFIC, BIG DADDY?
DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME
OR DO I SEE SOPHIA PETRILLO
STANDING BEFORE ME?
OR DID YOU ALL GET SOPHIA
LOREN AS THE NEW ROOMMATE?
GET OUT THE BOOTS. HE'S BACK.
COME ON. SIT DOWN HERE
ON THE SOFA BETWIXT US.
- "BETWIXT"?
- ANOTHER WORD YOU DON'T KNOW!
YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW THE THRICE OF
THEM WERE SITTING ON THE COUCH TOGETHER.
BIG DADDY, WHAT'S THIS SURPRISE?
TELL ME, TELL ME BEFORE I BURST!
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU'LL
TAKE THIS. HERE GOES.
THERE'S A LADYFRIEND I'VE BEEN
SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH RECENTLY.
- DO I KNOW HER?
- I DON'T THINK SO.
HELEN AND ROONEY
MCCOY INTRODUCED ME
TO WIDOW SPENCER AT THEIR
SON'S WEDDING A FEW MONTHS AGO.
- I'D LIKE TO MEET HER SOMETIME.
- SHE'S COMING TOMORROW EVENING.
JUST EXACTLY WHAT IS
THIS SURPRISE, DADDY?
DON'T GET TOO EXCITED, BUT WE'RE
PLANNING ON WALKING DOWN THE AISLE.
IS SHE HAPPY OR SAD?
I'M NOT SURE. SHE'S NEVER
MADE THAT SOUND BEFORE.
I ONCE HEARD HER MAKE
THAT SOUND. SHE WAS HAPPY.
DADDY, I HAVE NEVER BEEN
HAPPIER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!
I'M GLAD. I WAS WORRIED
HOW YOU'D REACT.
NOBODY CAN EVER
REPLACE MOMMA IN MY HEART,
BUT THE IMPORTANT THING
IS FOR YOU TO BE HAPPY.
- ALL THE BEST.
- I HOPE YOU TWO WILL BE HAPPY!
I'LL THROW YOU AND THE WIDOW
SPENCER THE BEST WEDDING EVER!
WE HATE FUSS, WE'RE GETTING
MARRIED IN THE BAHAMAS.
NO, A HOLLINGSWORTH HAS
TO GET MARRIED IN STYLE.
I DON'T WANT TO IMPOSE.
NO, LET'S HAVE THE WEDDING HERE.
WE'LL EVEN WRITE A
SONG FOR THE OCCASION.
NO, WE WON'T, ROSE.
- OH, DADDY, PLEASE.
- OH, ALL RIGHT!
I NEVER COULD SAY NO TO YOU.
HELLO?
OH, THAT'S TOO BAD.
A TRAGEDY.
A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY.
MAY SHE REST IN PEACE.
GREAT NEWS. THERESA
LOMBARDI PASSED AWAY.
MA, WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT THAT?
HER HUSBAND FREDDY,
HE HAS NOTHING TO DO,
AND NEITHER OF US HAS
SEEN RUTHLESS PEOPLE.
DO YOU HAVE A MINUTE? WE'VE BEEN
UP ALL NIGHT WORKING ON A SONG.
I THINK WE MIGHT'VE
HIT ON SOMETHING!
♪ M-I-A, ANOTHER M-I
♪ M-I-A-M-I SPELLS "MIAMI BEACH"
GIRLS!
♪ IT STIRS EMOTION GIRLS!
♪ IT'S BY THE OCEAN GIRLS!
♪ SO BRING YOUR SUNTAN...
- GIRLS!
- WHAT?
WELL, M-I-A-M-I DON'T
SPELL "MIAMI BEACH".
THAT SPELLS "MIAMI".
- I TOLD YOU NOT TO ADD "BEACH".
- OH, FINE, FINE.
YOU FIND SOMETHING TO
RHYME WITH "MIAMI", HOTSHOT!
MAMMY! WHAMMY, CLAMMY,
ALABAMY, HOOTENANNY, SALAMI!
"HOOTENANNY" IS MARGINAL,
AND I REFUSE TO ACCEPT "SALAMI".
I HAVE TO GO PUT UP SOME COFFEE.
I'M EXPECTING THAT
LADY FROM THE CATERER'S.
I DON'T WANT TO
BE A BAD HOSTESS.
"SALAMI", PLEASE!
I NEVER HAD THIS TROUBLE
WHEN I WORKED ALONE.
WHEN YOU WORKED ALONE,
YOU COULD ONLY
RHYME "GO" WITH "GO".
- HELLO.
- PLEASE COME IN.
YOU MUST BE FROM
THE CATERING COMPANY.
ACTUALLY, I'M FROM ATLANTA.
I'M MARGARET SPENCER.
WHOA!
WHAT A COINCIDENCE! BLANCHE'S FATHER IS
MARRYING A MARGARET SPENCER FROM ATLANTA.
ONLY SHE'S MUCH
OLDER... I THINK.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, DOROTHY?
WHOA!
I'M JUST GETTING SO EXCITED
ABOUT BIG DADDY'S WEDDING.
- HELLO. I'M BLANCHE DEVEREAUX.
- BLANCHE, THIS IS ER...
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET ER...
SAY HELLO TO BIG MOMMY.
I'M SORRY I'M SO EARLY.
TRAFFIC WASN'T WHAT I EXPECTED.
WELL, THE IMPORTANT THING
IS, YOU GOT HERE SAFELY!
IT'S SO GOOD TO FINALLY
MEET YOU, BLANCHE.
YOUR FATHER'S TOLD
ME SO MUCH ABOUT YOU!
- I WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME!
- MARGARET, PLEASE, SIT DOWN.
WE OUGHT TO GET
HER A BOOSTER SEAT!
- ER, CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?
- CHOCOLATE MILK?
SO, MARGARET,
YOU'RE FROM ATLANTA.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THAT CHILD IS TRYING
TO STEAL MY DADDY AWAY!
SHE'S NO BETTER THAN A
TICK ON A SLOW-MOVING DOG.
WHY IS EVERYONE AROUND
HERE TALKING LIKE BURL IVES?
I'LL GET IT.
LOVELY CITY. HAVE THEY REBUILT IT SINCE
IT BURNED DOWN IN GONE WITH THE WIND?
OH, BIG DADDY! I'M
GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
I SEE YOU'RE GETTING
ACQUAINTED. HI, DARLING.
OH... WE NEED TO TALK.
ROSE, LET'S SHOW MARGARET
HOW YOU MAKE THE HOSE
DANCE AROUND WHEN
YOU TURN IT ON FULL BLAST.
YOU SAID I COULDN'T
DO THAT ANYMORE!
TODAY'S A SPECIAL DAY.
SHE MAKES IT ALL TWIRL
AROUND. OH, IT'S SUCH FUN!
WELL, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF MAGGIE?
- DOES IT MATTER?
- OF COURSE IT DOES!
ALL RIGHT, THEN. I'LL BE FRANK.
- SHE'S A GOLD-DIGGIN' HUSSY!
- YOU WATCH YOUR TONGUE, MISSY.
THAT WOMAN IS TOO YOUNG FOR YOU.
SHE'S PRACTICALLY MY AGE!
I'M NOT ASHAMED TO
LOVE A YOUNGER WOMAN.
- WHY KEEP IT A SECRET?
- I DIDN'T.
I DIDN'T THINK AGE
MATTERED TO YOU.
DADDY, THIS IS WRONG! YOU'RE
JUST MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF!
AS LONG AS THE GOOD LORD KEEPS
ME ON THIS EARTH, I'M YOUR FATHER.
DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME A FOOL!
DADDY, JUST PLEASE
CALL OFF THIS WEDDING!
ONCE, IN GRADE SCHOOL, I
CROSSED A RUTABAGA AND A POTATO,
BUT I COULDN'T DECIDE WHETHER TO
CALL IT A "RUTATATO" OR A "POTATOBAGA".
YEAH, YOU'LL HAVE
TO EXCUSE ROSE.
THAT HOSE DANCE BRINGS UP
A LOT OF CHILDHOOD MEMORIES.
CAN I PLEASE SPEAK
TO YOU IN PRIVATE?
BLANCHE, THIS
CONVERSATION IS OVER.
MARGARET, WE'RE LEAVING.
DADDY!
THIS WOMAN IS NOT FOR YOU. YOU'RE JUST
DRAGGING OUR FAMILY NAME THROUGH THE MUD!
BLANCHE, I'VE ALWAYS GIVEN
YOU MY LOVE AND RESPECT.
IF YOU CAN'T GIVE A LITTLE BACK,
YOU'RE NO LONGER A PART OF OUR FAMILY!
DOROTHY, WE'RE DOING GREAT. THE SONG WILL
BE FINE! WE JUST NEED A RHYME FOR "ORANGE".
WHAT RHYMES WITH "ORANGE"?
- CHEESECAKE?
- "ORANGE CHEESECAKE".
"ORANGE CHEESECAKE"... I
SUPPOSE THAT COULD WORK.
I MEANT TO EAT, ROSE.
- WHY ARE YOU NOT AT THE PIANO?
- WE'RE BLOCKED.
I'VE BEEN HAVING GOOD LUCK WITH TANK,
IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED BY A GRANOLA BAR.
- HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- I FEEL TERRIBLE. I'M A WRECK.
ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS
BIG DADDY AND THAT WOMAN!
CUT ME SOME CHEESECAKE. BIGGER!
WHY ARE YOU GETTING SO UPSET?
YOU SEE OLDER MEN WITH YOUNGER
WOMEN ALL THE TIME! IT'S VERY COMMON.
LOOK AT JOHN DEREK
AND URSULA ANDRESS.
JOHN DEREK AND LINDA EVANS.
JOHN DEREK AND BO DEREK.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S NOT SO
COMMON. MAYBE IT'S JUST ONE GUY.
IF OLDER MEN KNEW HOW RIDICULOUS
THEY LOOK WITH YOUNGER WOMEN,
- THEY WOULDN'T DO IT.
- THEY DON'T SEE IT THAT WAY.
IN A RESTAURANT THE OTHER NIGHT,
A MAN OF 60 WALKED IN WEARING FOUR GOLD
CHAINS AND HIS SHIRT OPEN TO HIS NAVEL.
I THOUGHT PEOPLE WERE STARING
AT THE SCARS TO HIS BYPASS SURGERY.
THEY WERE STARING AT THE
22-YEAR-OLD BLONDE ON HIS ARM.
HONEY, HE WAS NOT
EMBARRASSED, HE WAS PROUD.
MAYBE HE WAS OUT WITH
THE WOMAN HE LOVED!
PLEASE, ROSE! THERE WAS
A 40-YEAR AGE DIFFERENCE.
WHAT COULD THEY
POSSIBLY HAVE IN COMMON?
WELL, GIRLS, LOVE HAS NO
DEFINITION, NO BOUNDARIES.
AGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
SOMETIMES TWO PEOPLE WHO
SEEM TO HAVE THE LEAST IN COMMON
TURN OUT TO BE THE MOST IN LOVE!
THAT WAS THE CASE WITH OLLIE
STETTLENMEIER AND MOLLY-JANE DOE.
OLLIE AND MOLLY?
MUST WE TAKE YET ANOTHER
TRIP TO PETTICOAT JUNCTION?
OLLIE WAS THE MAYOR AND OUR
TOWN'S MOST-RESPECTED CITIZEN.
HE WAS ALSO ARTISTIC DIRECTOR AT
THE ST OLAF COMMUNITY PLAYHOUSE.
A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THIS,
BUT THE FAMILY DRAMA HEY, THAT'S
MY TRACTOR STARTED RIGHT THERE.
WASN'T THE MUSICAL VERSION
CALLED, HEY, HEY, THAT'S MY TRACTOR?
ANYWAY, DURING THE AUDITIONS,
THE FIRST WOMAN WHO
WALKED THROUGH THAT DOOR
WAS MOLLY-JANE DOE,
THE TOWN MANICURIST.
FOR FIVE EXTRA DOLLARS, SHE'D
BUFF MORE THAN YOUR NAILS.
FIVE DOLLARS?
IT WAS DURING THE DEPRESSION.
HEY, IN ITALY, FOR FIVE DOLLARS
YOU GOT A WOMAN, A MANICURE,
A CAPPUCCINO AND A BOX
OF COOKIES FOR YOUR WIFE!
- A FACT. USE IT AS YOU WISH.
- IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
NOBODY IN TOWN COULD
BELIEVE THAT THIS MAN,
WHO'D LIVED FOR 52
YEARS WITH HIS MOTHER,
WOULD FALL HEAD OVER HEELS
IN LOVE WITH THE TOWN SQUEEZE!
BUT HE DID. AND THE NEXT
DAY THEY WERE MARRIED
AND THEY WENT ON TO LIVE
HAPPILY TOGETHER FOR 25 YEARS.
WHAT HAS THIS TO
DO WITH MY FATHER?
BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS
WHY TWO PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE,
AND IT'S REALLY
NOBODY'S BUSINESS!
HE'S MY FATHER.
IT IS MY BUSINESS!
I'LL GIVE THOSE TWO
A PIECE OF MY MIND!
IF YOU GO OVER THERE ANGRY,
YOU'LL MAKE THINGS WORSE.
I'M SORRY, BUT I HAVE
TO SAY WHAT I FEEL.
"I HAVE TO SAY WHAT I FEEL."
♪ I HAVE TO SAY WHAT I FEEL
♪ MIAMI HAS SO MUCH APPEAL
♪ A GREAT PLACE TO
GET A SEAFOOD MEAL
♪ MIAMI! ♪
- SIMON?
- YES, GARFUNKEL?
- TO THE EIGHTY-EIGHTS!
- YES!
YES?
YES, JUST GIVE US
SOMETHING ON THE BEACH.
WE'LL BE THERE ON OUR HONEYMOON.
COME ON IN, SWEETHEART.
YES, JUST A SEA VIEW
AND PLENTY OF PRIVACY.
- ISN'T THAT RIGHT, DARLING?
- NO, DADDY, IT ISN'T.
EXCUSE ME. I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
I'M NOT SURE I WANT TO SEE YOU. I
RECKON YOU SPOKE YOUR PIECE ALREADY.
I'VE BEEN THINKING, AND I THINK
I'VE STARTED TO UNDERSTAND
THE REASONS YOU'RE DOING WHAT
YOU'RE DOING. CAN I TALK TO YOU?
DADDY... WHEN A MAN
REACHES YOUR AGE,
HE WONDERS WHO'S GOING TO
BE THERE TO TAKE CARE OF HIM.
YES.
AND HE MIGHT EVEN START
LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY
TO REPLACE HIS FIRST WIFE.
- HE MIGHT.
- HE MIGHT EVEN LOOK FOR WAYS
TO FEEL A LITTLE BIT YOUNGER.
HE CERTAINLY MIGHT.
BUT, DADDY, IS THAT
REASON TO GET MARRIED?
JUST COS SOME PRETTY, SEXY,
BOUNCING, BUBBLY YOUNG THING
TAKES AN INTEREST IN YOU?
HELL, YES.
BUT THERE'S ANOTHER REASON.
BLANCHE, WHEN YOU
SPEND SIX MONTHS
WATCHING THE PERSON YOU LOVE
MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE SLOWLY DIE,
YOU WONDER IF YOU'LL
EVER LOVE AGAIN.
AFTER THAT, BELIEVE ME, IF YOU CAN
EVEN THINK OF MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE,
THERE'S ONLY ONE
REASON. YOU'RE IN LOVE.
I KNOW MOMMA'S DYING
HURT YOU QUITE A BIT.
YES.
BUT I'M TALKING ABOUT MARGARET.
HER HUSBAND DIED TWO YEARS
AGO, SHORTLY AFTER YOUR MOMMA.
- I DIDN'T KNOW.
- SHE LOVES ME
AND I LOVE HER AND WE
WANT TO GET MARRIED.
SORRY, DADDY. I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU
AND IT TURNS OUT YOU DON'T NEED ME.
NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
THE REASON WE CAME DOWN
HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE
IS BECAUSE WE DO NEED YOU
AND YOUR BLESSING
ON OUR MARRIAGE.
OH, I'M SORRY.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. I
WAS JUST LEAVING.
I WANT TO SAY
SOMETHING TO YOU FIRST.
WHAT IS IT, BLANCHE?
WELL, LOOKS LIKE YOU AND I HAVE
MORE IN COMMON THAN WE THOUGHT.
WE BOTH LOVE BIG DADDY
AND WANT HIM TO BE HAPPY,
SO WELCOME TO THE FAMILY.
OH, SOPHIA, HERE'S A POSTCARD
FROM BIG DADDY AND MARGARET!
THEY'RE HAVING THE TIME
OF THEIR LIFE IN THE BAHAMAS.
PLEASE! THE BIG NEWS IS, HE
LIVED THROUGH THE WEDDING NIGHT.
PEOPLE IN THEIR SEVENTIES AND
EIGHTIES CAN HAVE GREAT SEX.
YEAH, WITH PEOPLE IN THEIR
SEVENTIES AND EIGHTIES!
PUT ME IN A BEDROOM WITH TOM CRUISE
AND YOU'D BE PEELING ME OFF THE CEILING!
ACCORDING TO BIG DADDY, HE STILL
HAS BOTH HIS FEET ON THE GROUND.
I GOTTA SAY, YOU HANDLED IT
BETTER THAN I THOUGHT YOU WOULD.
I'M NOT THRILLED, BUT AS
LONG AS THEY'RE IN LOVE
AND I DON'T HAVE TO CALL
HER MOMMY, I CAN LIVE WITH IT.
OH, HOW DID YOU DO?
- WE CAME IN SECOND.
- TERRIFIC! WHAT DID YOU GET?
TREATED BADLY.
THEY TOLD US TO GET OUT OF THE WAY
WHEN THEY TOOK THE WINNER'S PICTURE.
PHOTOS AND JUDGES! I'D
LOVE TO HEAR YOUR SONG.
- FORGET IT, BLANCHE.
- THE EXPERIENCE WAS PAINFUL.
- PLEASE...
- WE WANT TO FORGET IT.
- PLEASE...
- HIT IT, ROSE.
♪ I HAVE TO SAY WHAT I FEEL
♪ MIAMI HAS SO MUCH APPEAL
♪ A GREAT PLACE TO
GET A SEAFOOD MEAL
♪ MIAMI ♪ MIAMI, MIAMI
♪ YOU'VE GOT STYLE
♪ BLUE SKIES, SUNSHINE
♪ WHITE SAND BY THE MILE
♪ WHEN YOU LIVE IN THIS TOWN
♪ EACH DAY IS SUBLIME
♪ THE COLDEST OF WINTERS
♪ ARE WARM AND
DIVINE ♪ MIAMI, MIAMI
♪ YOU'VE GOT STYLE
♪ BLUE SKIES, SUNSHINE
♪ WHITE SAND BY THE MILE
♪ THERE'S MORE
CLUBS AND NIGHTCLUBS
♪ ALL WITHIN REACH
♪ DANCE THE SAMBA TILL MORNING
♪ THEN LIE ON THE BEACH
♪ EACH VIEW IS A POSTCARD
♪ EACH DAY A GREAT TIME
♪ THE CREAM OF THE CROP
♪ IT'S THE TOP OF
THE LINE ♪ MIAMI, MIAMI
♪ YOU'VE GOT STYLE
♪ BLUE SKIES, SUNSHINE
♪ WHITE SAND BY THE MILE ♪ MIAMI
♪ YOU'VE GOT STYLE! ♪