The Golden Girls (1985–1992): Season 2, Episode 23 - Son-in-Law Dearest - full transcript
Dorothy's daughter Kate visits with the news that her husband has cheated on her and she is leaving him.
♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND
♪ TRAVELED DOWN THE
ROAD AND BACK AGAIN
♪ YOUR HEART IS TRUE
♪ YOU'RE A PAL AND A CONFIDANTE
♪ AND IF YOU THREW A PARTY
♪ INVITED EVERYONE YOU KNEW
♪ YOU WOULD SEE THE
BIGGEST GIFT WOULD BE FROM ME
♪ AND THE CARD
ATTACHED WOULD SAY
♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND ♪
A FEW MORE SNACKS LIKE THAT,
THE ONLY THING YOU'LL
FIT INTO IS A SADDLE.
I'M NOT GOING TO
EAT IT ALL AT ONCE.
THERE'S AN I LOVE LUCY
MARATHON ON TONIGHT.
I'M SETTING UP FOR 12
STRAIGHT HOURS OF CLASSIC TV.
I NEVER LIKED IT. EVERY EPISODE
LUCY SAID THE SAME THING.
"RICKY, WHY CAN'T
I BE IN THE SHOW?"
WHY COULDN'T SHE BE IN THE
SHOW? SHE WAS A RIOT AT HOME.
HIS SHOW WITH THE CLUB STANK.
WHAT'S ENTERTAINING ABOUT
A CUBAN BEATING A DRUM?
ROSE, THERE'S AN I LOVE
LUCY MARATHON ON TONIGHT.
- YOU WANNA WATCH IT WITH ME?
- THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
WHO'S IN IT?
WHO'S IN IT? UM... LUCILLE
BALL AND DESI ARNAZ.
THE RICARDOS AND MERTZES.
DON'T TELL ME YOU
NEVER SAW I LOVE LUCY.
NO. I NEVER WATCHED MUCH
TV UNTIL I MOVED IN HERE.
CHARLIE AND I NEVER HAD A TV.
WE TALKED ABOUT GETTING ONE,
BUT HE SAID IT WASN'T PERFECTED YET.
IT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME CHARLIE
WAS A LITTLE ON THE CHEAP SIDE.
[LAUGHS] I'LL SAY.
CHARLIE WAS A WONDERFUL MAN,
BUT HE COULD SQUEEZE A
NICKEL TILL THE BUFFALO POOPED.
I'LL TELL YOU, THERE'S SOMETHING
TO THE POWER OF SUGGESTION.
EXCUSE ME.
DOROTHY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO
STAY UP AND WATCH I LIKE LUCY?
I LOVE LUCY.
I HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET, SO I
DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL FEEL.
I WON'T HAVE TIME WITH MY
DAUGHTER COMING TONIGHT.
WE'RE GONNA BE
TALKING ABOUT THE...
- NOTHING.
- WHAT'S THE NOTHING?
THE NOTHING IS A NOTHING.
IF IT WERE SOMETHING,
I'D CALL IT SOMETHING.
THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS TO TALK ABOUT. IS THAT RUMAKI?
DOROTHY, YOU'RE
KEEPING A SECRET FROM US.
I TELL YOU EVERYTHING. I
TOLD YOU A SECRET LAST NIGHT.
- YOU'RE NOT A NATURAL BLONDE?
- I AM A NATURAL BLONDE.
RIGHT, ROSE. YOU
AND TINA TURNER.
DID DOROTHY TELL YOU
SHE'S GONNA BE A GRANDMA?
OH, MA, THAT WAS A SECRET!
OH, DOROTHY, WHY
DIDN'T YOU TELL US?
BECAUSE WE'RE NOT 100% SURE.
I DIDN'T TALK TO KATE. MA DID.
SHE HAD SOMETHING SHE
WANTED TO TELL US IN PERSON
AND THEN SHE HAD TO THROW UP.
CALL ME KRESKIN.
SHE AND DENNIS HAVE BEEN
TRYING TO HAVE CHILDREN.
OH, DOROTHY,
THIS IS SO EXCITING.
BUT, HONEY, WE'RE NOT SURE YET.
- [DOORBELL]
- THAT'S KATE.
I AM SO NERVOUS ALL OF A SUDDEN.
I AM ALSO VERY EXCITED.
I HAVE DREAMED ABOUT THIS
MOMENT ALL MY LIFE. OH, HONEY.
DARLING.
IS IT MY IMAGINATION, OR WAS
THAT MY EX-HUSBAND STANLEY?
DOROTHY, IT'S ME,
YOUR EX-HUSBAND STAN.
EXCUSE ME. WITH THAT NEW TOUPEE
I THOUGHT YOU WERE TED DANSON.
I JUST GOT IT TODAY. IT
HASN'T HAD TIME TO SETTLE.
OH, WOW, IS THAT RUMAKI?
- WHY ARE YOU HERE?
- I JUST CAME TO SEE KATE.
HOW DID YOU KNOW SHE WAS COMING?
SHE LEFT A MESSAGE.
I WAS IN LAUDERDALE.
OH, OF COURSE, I
FORGOT. IT'S SPRING BREAK.
- DO YOU KNOW WHY SHE'S COMING?
- NO, I DON'T.
- LOOK AT DOROTHY'S NOSE GROW.
- OH, SHUT UP.
THE YUTZ HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW.
WHAT SHOULD THE YUTZ KNOW?
WELL, WE'RE NOT SURE, BUT WE
THINK THAT KATE MAY BE PREGNANT.
WOW! THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
THAT MAKES ME...
A YUTZ. SOME THINGS
NEVER CHANGE.
YOU'RE GONNA BE A
GRANDDADDY, STANLEY.
WOW. ISN'T LIFE A GAS?
THIS IS AMAZING.
EXCUSE ME AGAIN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I AM
GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER.
THINK ABOUT IT. PART OF ME
WILL BE PASSED ON TO THAT CHILD.
- BUT WE'LL LEARN TO LOVE IT.
- [DOORBELL]
- OH, KATE, HONEY.
- MOM.
OH.
- HELLO, PRINCESS.
- DADDY.
IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.
I GUESS YOU HAVE
SOME BIG NEWS, HUH?
ROSE, WE'LL GIVE
THEM THEIR PRIVACY.
OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO.
I CAN SPEAK IN FRONT OF YOU.
I KNEW IT. I KNEW
IT. I JUST KNEW IT.
STANLEY, I'M SO HAPPY.
DENNIS HAD AN AFFAIR
AND I'VE LEFT HIM.
STAN, TAKE YOUR
DAMN HANDS OFF ME!
I'LL BE HONEST, I
NEVER LIKED HIM.
I KNEW THAT WORM WAS NO GOOD.
WHAT KIND OF A MAN
HAS SO LITTLE
RESPECT FOR MARRIAGE
THAT HE CAN CHEAT ON
A WONDERFUL WOMAN
AND JUMP INTO BED WITH
THE FIRST AVAILABLE BIMBO?
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT YOU, STANLEY.
LET'S TALK ABOUT
KATE'S PROBLEMS.
WE HAD NO PROBLEMS, MOM.
THAT'S WHY THIS WAS
ALL SUCH A SHOCK.
- NOT EVEN IN BED?
- OH, STANLEY.
HEY, I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP.
MOST MEN CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES
BECAUSE WHAT THEY HAVE AT
HOME IS LESS THAN SATISFYING.
OH, REALLY, MR. 30 SECONDS?
MOM, DAD.
I'M SORRY, SWEETHEART. WE'RE
BOTH BEING VERY INSENSITIVE.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING, KITTEN?
FINE, GRANDMA.
THAT'S OKAY. A BRAVE
FRONT IS THE FIRST STEP BACK.
BERTRAND RUSSELL SAID THAT.
OR WAS IT NIPSEY RUSSELL?
THEY'RE BOTH SO WITTY.
YOU'RE RIGHT,
GRANDMA. I'M NOT FINE.
HE REALLY HURT
ME. I FEEL SO ALONE.
HONEY, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
YOU HAVE YOUR FAMILY WITH YOU.
YOUR GRANDMA, MOTHER AND
FATHER WILL SEE YOU THROUGH THIS.
ABSOLUTELY. I HAVE A
BUSINESS APPOINTMENT TONIGHT.
I'M GONNA CALL NOW AND
CANCEL AND BE HERE FOR YOU.
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO DO THAT. I'M FINE.
ALRIGHT. BUT I'LL
ONLY BE GONE AN HOUR.
LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR IF
SHE DOESN'T WANT DINNER.
KEEP YOUR CHIN UP, PRINCESS.
YOUR CHINS TOO, DOROTHY.
[BOTH LAUGH]
YOU KNOW, I'M STILL
A LITTLE CONFUSED.
NOW, WHO EXACTLY IS RICKY?
LUCY'S HUSBAND.
- I THOUGHT DESI WAS.
- NOT ON THE SHOW.
- DESI WASN'T ON THE SHOW?
- DESI PLAYED RICKY.
- WHO DID LUCY PLAY?
- LUCY.
I KNOW. BUT WHO DID SHE PLAY?
- LUCY.
- RIGHT. BUT WHO DID SHE PLAY?
LUCY PLAYED LUCY.
WELL, THEN, WHY
DIDN'T DESI PLAY DESI?
HE WASN'T TALL ENOUGH.
[GROANS]
I HAVE NEVER SEEN KATE SO UPSET.
I AM A WRECK. I FEEL LIKE
THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME.
LIKE I AM THE ONE WHO
HAD MY HEART STOMPED ON.
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT.
OH, I'M SORRY, DOROTHY.
IT'S JUST THAT LUCY DOESN'T KNOW
THAT THAT'S REALLY FRED
DRESSED UP AS A BURGLAR.
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T REALIZE
THIS WAS MORE IMPORTANT.
[BOTH LAUGH]
ROSE, BLANCHE, THIS IS THE PART
WHERE MY GOOD FRIENDS ARE
SUPPOSED TO SHUT OFF THE TV.
SO SHUT OFF THE TV
OR IT'S OUT THE WINDOW.
THANK YOU. I'M TOUCHED.
- HOW YOU HOLDING UP?
- I THREATENED TO HURL THE TV.
THAT SHOULD GIVE
YOU SOME INDICATION.
KATE SEEMS TO BE HANDLING
THINGS PRETTY WELL.
THAT'S TONIGHT.
SHE'S STILL IN SHOCK.
OH, I REMEMBER WHEN STANLEY
TOLD ME HE WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR.
IT WAS AT LEAST 24 HOURS
BEFORE I CUT THE CROTCHES
OUT OF ALL OF HIS SLACKS.
YOU DIDN'T.
I WAS TEACHING
ENGLISH LIT AT THE TIME.
SYMBOLISM WAS MY LIFE.
I REMEMBER HOW I FELT
WHEN I THOUGHT CHARLIE
WAS CHEATING ON ME.
CHARLIE?
WE'D BEEN MARRIED FOR 18 YEARS.
AND UP UNTIL THEN, EVERYTHING
HAD SEEMED SO PERFECT.
THEN ONE NIGHT IT HAPPENED.
HE CAME HOME, HAD DINNER,
WALKED UPSTAIRS
AND WENT TO SLEEP.
I WENT IN THE BATHROOM
AND CRIED MY EYES OUT.
ROSE, I DON'T WANT TO
ENCOURAGE LONG STORIES,
BUT IT SEEMS IN THIS
STORY YOU LEFT OUT THE...
- THE STORY.
- THAT'S THE WORD.
WELL, CHARLIE
WENT RIGHT TO SLEEP.
WE DIDN'T, WELL... YOU KNOW...
AND HE'D PROMISED?
NO! IT'S JUST THAT THAT WAS
THE FIRST TIME IT HAD HAPPENED
IN 18 YEARS OF MARRIED LIFE.
GET OUT OF HERE.
YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT
EVERY NIGHT WITHOUT FAIL
FOR 18 YEARS, YOU AND
CHARLIE... OF COURSE.
RIGHT AFTER DINNER.
WELL, NO WONDER YOU
NEVER HEARD OF I LOVE LUCY.
OF COURSE, AS IT TURNED
OUT, I WAS JUST OVERREACTING.
I MEAN, IT WAS A
FREAK, ONE-TIME THING.
BY THE NEXT MORNING,
EVERYTHING WAS BACK TO NORMAL.
BY MORNING?
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME,
THAT EVERY MORNING?
CHARLIE SAID THAT'S WHY
WE DIDN'T HAVE HEADACHES
AND WE BOTH HAD
REALLY SHINY HAIR.
LISTEN, ROSE, NO OFFENSE,
BUT I FIND THAT STORY A
LITTLE HARD TO BELIEVE.
YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE
TO TALK ABOUT SEX.
IN MY EXPERIENCE,
PEOPLE WHO TALK ABOUT IT
DON'T DO IT VERY OFTEN.
- COFFEE, ANYONE?
- [DOORBELL]
- THAT MUST BE STAN.
- I'LL GET IT.
OH, BLANCHE. BLANCHE,
WHY DO THEY DO IT?
WHY DO MEN DO IT AND THINK
THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT?
SAME REASON A DOG
LICKS HIMSELF, DOROTHY.
BECAUSE HE CAN.
WHERE'S STAN?
- IT WASN'T STAN AT THE DOOR.
- WHO WAS IT?
JUST STAY CALM. JUST RELAX AND
DON'T DO ANYTHING YOU'LL BE SORRY FOR.
- DENNIS.
- HELLO, MOTHER DOROTHY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D SHOW YOUR
FACE. I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE.
- MOTHER DOROTHY...
- DO NOT CALL ME THAT.
I HATE IT WHEN YOU CALL
ME MOTHER DOROTHY.
I FEEL I SHOULD BE HANDING OUT
RICE ON THE STREETS OF CALCUTTA.
- WHERE IS KATE?
- SHE'S NOT HERE.
- SHE SAID SHE WAS COMING HERE.
- SHE LEFT.
- WHERE DID SHE GO?
- TO MEET WITH MARLO THOMAS.
THEY'RE GOING TO DRINK WHITE
WINE SPRITZERS AND FIGURE OUT
HOW TO FRY YOUR
WANDERING MALE BEHIND.
DENNIS.
KATE, WE HAVE TO TALK.
SHE HAS NOTHING TO SAY. GET OUT.
MOM, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO SPEAK FOR ME.
- DENNIS, GET OUT.
- KATE, PLEASE.
YOU DON'T OWE IT TO ME
AND I'LL GO IF YOU WANT.
I'M JUST ASKING TO SPEAK TO YOU.
I WONDER HOW HE'S GOING TO
TALK HIS WAY OUT OF THIS ONE.
NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS,
SHE'LL SEE RIGHT THOUGH IT.
GOOD FOR KATE. THAT BUM
DESERVES EVERYTHING HE GETS.
I'M GLAD HE SHOWED UP.
SHE CAN GET IT OVER WITH.
YOU THINK SHE'LL STILL
SEE MARLO THOMAS?
'CAUSE I'D SURE
LIKE AN AUTOGRAPH.
OH... [LAUGHS]
I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
EVERYBODY LOVED LUCY.
SHE'S TALKING ABOUT
KATE AND DENNIS.
HOW LONG HAVE
THEY BEEN IN THERE?
SINCE LUCY WENT TO SCOTLAND.
THAT WOULD MAKE
IT OVER 30 YEARS.
IT'S BEEN AN HOUR, BUT KATE
HAD A LOT TO GET OFF HER CHEST.
YOU THINK HE'D HAVE THE
COURTESY TO SAY GOODBYE.
- HE'S COMING BACK, MOM.
- WHAT?
HE'S GETTING A
SUITCASE OUT OF THE CAR.
WE TALKED THINGS
OVER. EVERYTHING'S OKAY.
OKAY? EVERYTHING'S OKAY?
- COME ON, ROSE.
- WHAT ABOUT LUCY?
WE'LL WATCH IT ON THE PORTABLE.
BUT THAT SET'S BLACK-AND-WHITE.
DENNIS EXPLAINED EVERYTHING.
EXPLAINED? EXPLAINED WHAT?
HOW HE DID IT? I EXPLAINED
THAT WHEN YOU WERE 12.
I CAN LIVE WITH HIS APOLOGY.
HE'S VERY SORRY.
HE'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
I DON'T WANT TO END
MY MARRIAGE OVER THIS.
I THINK YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE.
MOM, DENNIS IS MY HUSBAND AND
IF I FORGIVE HIM, YOU SHOULD, TOO.
- FORGIVE HIM?
- LOOK, IT'S MY MARRIAGE.
I NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME
HERE. THAT WAS A BIG MISTAKE.
WE'LL BE OUT OF
HERE IN THE MORNING.
MA. MA.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I'M SORRY, BUT I
HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.
DENNIS TOLD KATE HE WAS
SORRY FOR WHAT HE DID
- AND THEY'VE MADE UP.
- MARVELOUS. GET THE HELL OUT!
DENNIS HAD AN AFFAIR.
HOW COULD SHE FORGIVE HIM?
DOROTHY, PLEASE, LET
ME GO BACK TO SLEEP.
I WAS DREAMING I WAS BEING
HELD CAPTIVE ON A DESERT ISLAND
BY CESAR ROMERO IN A LOINCLOTH.
MA, KATE AND I HAD A
FIGHT. I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.
YOU KNOW THAT
WASHCLOTH IN MY BATHROOM?
THAT'S HOW BIG CESAR'S
LOINCLOTH WAS. GOOD NIGHT.
MA.
- MA!
- ALRIGHT.
WHAT DID YOU AND KATE
HAVE A FIGHT ABOUT?
ABOUT ADVERTISING CONDOMS ON TV.
ABOUT DENNIS. I CAN'T BELIEVE
SHE WOULD GO BACK TO HIM.
I TOLD HER IT WAS A BIG MISTAKE.
WHO'S ASKING YOU? IT'S
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
KATE CAME TO ME.
SHE CAME TO YOU TO LISTEN.
YOU SHOULD STAY OUT OF IT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT.
SIT. LISTEN. LEARN.
PICTURE THIS.
BROOKLYN, JULY, 1949.
MA, PUT A SENTENCE TOGETHER.
YOU SOUND LIKE A SPORTSCASTER.
OH, SHUT UP. ANYWAY, IT WAS THE
NIGHT OF YOUR FIRST ANNIVERSARY.
YOU SHOWED UP AT MY HOUSE
AT TWO IN THE MORNING, CRYING.
YOU LOOKED LIKE HELL.
YOU TOLD ME YOU HAD COOKED
AN ANNIVERSARY DINNER FOR STAN.
HE CAME HOME LATE AND
THERE WAS LIPSTICK ON HIS SHIRT.
YOU KEPT SAYING TO ME,
"MA, WHAT SHOULD I DO?"
- REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU?
- YEAH.
THANK GOD. WHAT
WAS IT? I FORGOT.
YOU SAID THAT IF YOU
COULD ERASE THIS ONE DAY,
IS THIS STILL THE MAN
YOU WANT TO BE WITH?
AND YOU SAID YES.
I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "IDIOT",
BUT I KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT.
I KNEW THIS WAS A
DECISION YOU HAD TO MAKE.
YOU'RE SAYING I SHOULD STAY OUT OF
THIS MESS BETWEEN KATE AND DENNIS.
I SAID IT, USED IT IN A STORY.
YOU WANT ME TO EMBROIDER IT ON
YOUR UNDERWEAR? STAY OUT OF IT!
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT.
THEN YOU'RE GONNA LOSE KATE.
AND SOMEDAY STAN IS GONNA
CALL YOU UP AND TELL YOU
YOU HAVE A GRANDCHILD
WHO YOU'RE NEVER GONNA SEE.
GOOD NIGHT, MA.
NOT TONIGHT, CESAR. I'M
NOT IN THE MOOD ANYMORE.
THAT LAST EPISODE OF I
LOVE LUCY WAS HILARIOUS.
IT SURE WAS. I NEVER REALIZED
YOU COULD HAVE THAT MUCH
FUN STAYING UP ALL NIGHT.
OH? NOT EVEN WITH CHARLIE?
OH, WE NEVER STAYED UP ALL
NIGHT. JUST SEVEN TILL MIDNIGHT
AND FIVE TO SEVEN EVERY MORNING.
AND, OF COURSE, TILL
NOON ON SUNDAYS.
LORD, NO WONDER YOU
STILL MOURN THAT MAN.
- MORNING.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU DOING?
MUCH BETTER. MA AND I TALKED
AND I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO.
FOR ONCE YOU'LL
KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
IF I WANT THINGS TO BE OKAY,
I MUST GET IT OFF MY CHEST.
FINE. YOU'LL FEEL BETTER, BUT
YOU'LL LOSE YOUR DAUGHTER.
- MORNING, EVERYONE.
- HOW DID YOU GET IN?
THE KEY UNDER THE MAT.
- DO I SMELL WAFFLES?
- NO.
COULD I SMELL WAFFLES?
WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE?
THE HOUSE OF PANCAKES?
- SO, HOW'S KATE DOING?
- BETTER THAN I AM.
DENNIS IS HERE AND
SHE'S FORGIVEN HIM.
HE'S HERE? SOMEBODY HOLD
MY HAIR. I'M GONNA KILL HIM!
OH, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP.
GOOD MORNING,
EVERYBODY. HI, DADDY.
LISTEN, I HEAR THAT YOU AND
DENNIS ARE BACK TOGETHER.
THAT'S RIGHT. WE'RE LEAVING
FOR THE AIRPORT NOW.
- KATE, I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING.
- YEAH?
NOT TO YOU, TO DENNIS.
DENNIS, I WANT TO
SPEAK WITH YOU.
MOTHER.
IT'S ALRIGHT, KATE.
IS YOUR NAME DENNIS?
I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE THERE.
ONE SPERM WITH A
SENSE OF DIRECTION
AND I PAY FOR IT FOR
THE REST OF MY LIFE.
- DOROTHY, I...
- PLEASE, DENNIS.
I JUST WANT YOU TO LISTEN.
YESTERDAY, KATE
CAME TO ME, CRYING.
SHE WAS MORE HURT THAN I
HAD EVER SEEN HER BEFORE.
- DOROTHY...
- PLEASE.
I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND
WHAT THAT DOES TO A PARENT.
SEEING YOUR CHILD HURT
IS WORSE THAN ANY PAIN YOU
CAN POSSIBLY FEEL YOURSELF.
WHEN THEY'RE LITTLE,
YOU PROTECT THEM
FROM THE BULLIES
ON THE PLAYGROUND,
AND THEN LATER YOU SUFFER
WITH THEM THROUGH ACNE
AND PUPPY LOVE.
THEN THE FIRST DATE, THEN
THE FIRST TIME ALONE IN A CAR.
FINALLY THEY MEET SOMEONE
WHO WILL LOVE THEM AND TAKE CARE
OF THEM AND THEY DON'T NEED YOU.
YOU'RE NOT THRILLED,
BUT YOU GET USED TO IT.
AND THEN SOMETHING HAPPENS
AND YOU FIND OUT THERE'S STILL
BULLIES ON THE PLAYGROUND.
AND THE OLD INSTINCTS COME BACK.
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY.
I KNOW YOU HAVE MADE UP,
BUT I STILL HAVE THE SAME
FEELINGS. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
YES, I DO. I DID A VERY STUPID
THING THAT CAN'T BE UNDONE.
I'M GOING TO DO EVERYTHING TO
MAKE IT UP TO KATE. I LOVE HER.
I PROMISE YOU THAT NOTHING
LIKE THIS WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.
GOOD. GOOD.
BECAUSE IF IT DOES, I WILL
BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR HAND.
YOU'LL SPEND YOUR LIFE
SELLING NEWSPAPERS
OUT OF A WAGON.
KEEP IT ZIPPED, BUDDY.
SHE'S NOT KIDDING.
DENNIS, IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
EVERYTHING IS FINE. YOU'D BETTER
HURRY. YOU'LL MISS YOUR PLANE.
THANKS, MOM.
THANKS, DAD.
IF YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING
AROUND MEMORIAL DAY, VISIT US.
- HOW ABOUT ME?
- OF COURSE, DENNIS.
OF COURSE. YOU'RE
ALWAYS INCLUDED.
DOROTHY, YOU'RE HURTING ME.
- GOODBYE AGAIN.
- BYE, DARLING.
OH, DOROTHY, I'M SO
GLAD THINGS WORKED OUT.
- ME TOO.
- MAYBE YOU'RE NOT A GRANDMOMMA,
BUT YOU'RE STILL A
DARNED GOOD MOMMA.
KATE'S GONNA BE A DARNED
GOOD MOMMA TOO SOMETIME.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
'CAUSE IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY.
WELL, I GUESS
I'LL BE GOING, TOO.
YOU KNOW, DOROTHY, OUT
ON THE LANAI OUT THERE,
IT WAS LIKE OLD TIMES.
YOU AND ME, A TEAM, UNITED.
PARTNERS. IT FELT
PRETTY GOOD, DIDN'T IT?
IT SURE DID.
WHERE DID IT GO WRONG, DOROTHY?
OH... WHO KNOWS?
THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
I REMEMBER. I WASN'T HAPPY
AT HOME UNDER THE SHEETS.
DOROTHY, YOU'RE HURTING ME.
I MEAN IT. YOU'RE
REALLY HURTING ME.
♪ TRAVELED DOWN THE
ROAD AND BACK AGAIN
♪ YOUR HEART IS TRUE
♪ YOU'RE A PAL AND A CONFIDANTE
♪ AND IF YOU THREW A PARTY
♪ INVITED EVERYONE YOU KNEW
♪ YOU WOULD SEE THE
BIGGEST GIFT WOULD BE FROM ME
♪ AND THE CARD
ATTACHED WOULD SAY
♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND ♪
A FEW MORE SNACKS LIKE THAT,
THE ONLY THING YOU'LL
FIT INTO IS A SADDLE.
I'M NOT GOING TO
EAT IT ALL AT ONCE.
THERE'S AN I LOVE LUCY
MARATHON ON TONIGHT.
I'M SETTING UP FOR 12
STRAIGHT HOURS OF CLASSIC TV.
I NEVER LIKED IT. EVERY EPISODE
LUCY SAID THE SAME THING.
"RICKY, WHY CAN'T
I BE IN THE SHOW?"
WHY COULDN'T SHE BE IN THE
SHOW? SHE WAS A RIOT AT HOME.
HIS SHOW WITH THE CLUB STANK.
WHAT'S ENTERTAINING ABOUT
A CUBAN BEATING A DRUM?
ROSE, THERE'S AN I LOVE
LUCY MARATHON ON TONIGHT.
- YOU WANNA WATCH IT WITH ME?
- THAT SOUNDS GREAT.
WHO'S IN IT?
WHO'S IN IT? UM... LUCILLE
BALL AND DESI ARNAZ.
THE RICARDOS AND MERTZES.
DON'T TELL ME YOU
NEVER SAW I LOVE LUCY.
NO. I NEVER WATCHED MUCH
TV UNTIL I MOVED IN HERE.
CHARLIE AND I NEVER HAD A TV.
WE TALKED ABOUT GETTING ONE,
BUT HE SAID IT WASN'T PERFECTED YET.
IT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME CHARLIE
WAS A LITTLE ON THE CHEAP SIDE.
[LAUGHS] I'LL SAY.
CHARLIE WAS A WONDERFUL MAN,
BUT HE COULD SQUEEZE A
NICKEL TILL THE BUFFALO POOPED.
I'LL TELL YOU, THERE'S SOMETHING
TO THE POWER OF SUGGESTION.
EXCUSE ME.
DOROTHY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO
STAY UP AND WATCH I LIKE LUCY?
I LOVE LUCY.
I HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET, SO I
DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL FEEL.
I WON'T HAVE TIME WITH MY
DAUGHTER COMING TONIGHT.
WE'RE GONNA BE
TALKING ABOUT THE...
- NOTHING.
- WHAT'S THE NOTHING?
THE NOTHING IS A NOTHING.
IF IT WERE SOMETHING,
I'D CALL IT SOMETHING.
THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS TO TALK ABOUT. IS THAT RUMAKI?
DOROTHY, YOU'RE
KEEPING A SECRET FROM US.
I TELL YOU EVERYTHING. I
TOLD YOU A SECRET LAST NIGHT.
- YOU'RE NOT A NATURAL BLONDE?
- I AM A NATURAL BLONDE.
RIGHT, ROSE. YOU
AND TINA TURNER.
DID DOROTHY TELL YOU
SHE'S GONNA BE A GRANDMA?
OH, MA, THAT WAS A SECRET!
OH, DOROTHY, WHY
DIDN'T YOU TELL US?
BECAUSE WE'RE NOT 100% SURE.
I DIDN'T TALK TO KATE. MA DID.
SHE HAD SOMETHING SHE
WANTED TO TELL US IN PERSON
AND THEN SHE HAD TO THROW UP.
CALL ME KRESKIN.
SHE AND DENNIS HAVE BEEN
TRYING TO HAVE CHILDREN.
OH, DOROTHY,
THIS IS SO EXCITING.
BUT, HONEY, WE'RE NOT SURE YET.
- [DOORBELL]
- THAT'S KATE.
I AM SO NERVOUS ALL OF A SUDDEN.
I AM ALSO VERY EXCITED.
I HAVE DREAMED ABOUT THIS
MOMENT ALL MY LIFE. OH, HONEY.
DARLING.
IS IT MY IMAGINATION, OR WAS
THAT MY EX-HUSBAND STANLEY?
DOROTHY, IT'S ME,
YOUR EX-HUSBAND STAN.
EXCUSE ME. WITH THAT NEW TOUPEE
I THOUGHT YOU WERE TED DANSON.
I JUST GOT IT TODAY. IT
HASN'T HAD TIME TO SETTLE.
OH, WOW, IS THAT RUMAKI?
- WHY ARE YOU HERE?
- I JUST CAME TO SEE KATE.
HOW DID YOU KNOW SHE WAS COMING?
SHE LEFT A MESSAGE.
I WAS IN LAUDERDALE.
OH, OF COURSE, I
FORGOT. IT'S SPRING BREAK.
- DO YOU KNOW WHY SHE'S COMING?
- NO, I DON'T.
- LOOK AT DOROTHY'S NOSE GROW.
- OH, SHUT UP.
THE YUTZ HAS A RIGHT TO KNOW.
WHAT SHOULD THE YUTZ KNOW?
WELL, WE'RE NOT SURE, BUT WE
THINK THAT KATE MAY BE PREGNANT.
WOW! THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
THAT MAKES ME...
A YUTZ. SOME THINGS
NEVER CHANGE.
YOU'RE GONNA BE A
GRANDDADDY, STANLEY.
WOW. ISN'T LIFE A GAS?
THIS IS AMAZING.
EXCUSE ME AGAIN.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I AM
GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER.
THINK ABOUT IT. PART OF ME
WILL BE PASSED ON TO THAT CHILD.
- BUT WE'LL LEARN TO LOVE IT.
- [DOORBELL]
- OH, KATE, HONEY.
- MOM.
OH.
- HELLO, PRINCESS.
- DADDY.
IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
YOU LOOK WONDERFUL.
I GUESS YOU HAVE
SOME BIG NEWS, HUH?
ROSE, WE'LL GIVE
THEM THEIR PRIVACY.
OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO.
I CAN SPEAK IN FRONT OF YOU.
I KNEW IT. I KNEW
IT. I JUST KNEW IT.
STANLEY, I'M SO HAPPY.
DENNIS HAD AN AFFAIR
AND I'VE LEFT HIM.
STAN, TAKE YOUR
DAMN HANDS OFF ME!
I'LL BE HONEST, I
NEVER LIKED HIM.
I KNEW THAT WORM WAS NO GOOD.
WHAT KIND OF A MAN
HAS SO LITTLE
RESPECT FOR MARRIAGE
THAT HE CAN CHEAT ON
A WONDERFUL WOMAN
AND JUMP INTO BED WITH
THE FIRST AVAILABLE BIMBO?
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT YOU, STANLEY.
LET'S TALK ABOUT
KATE'S PROBLEMS.
WE HAD NO PROBLEMS, MOM.
THAT'S WHY THIS WAS
ALL SUCH A SHOCK.
- NOT EVEN IN BED?
- OH, STANLEY.
HEY, I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP.
MOST MEN CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES
BECAUSE WHAT THEY HAVE AT
HOME IS LESS THAN SATISFYING.
OH, REALLY, MR. 30 SECONDS?
MOM, DAD.
I'M SORRY, SWEETHEART. WE'RE
BOTH BEING VERY INSENSITIVE.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING, KITTEN?
FINE, GRANDMA.
THAT'S OKAY. A BRAVE
FRONT IS THE FIRST STEP BACK.
BERTRAND RUSSELL SAID THAT.
OR WAS IT NIPSEY RUSSELL?
THEY'RE BOTH SO WITTY.
YOU'RE RIGHT,
GRANDMA. I'M NOT FINE.
HE REALLY HURT
ME. I FEEL SO ALONE.
HONEY, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
YOU HAVE YOUR FAMILY WITH YOU.
YOUR GRANDMA, MOTHER AND
FATHER WILL SEE YOU THROUGH THIS.
ABSOLUTELY. I HAVE A
BUSINESS APPOINTMENT TONIGHT.
I'M GONNA CALL NOW AND
CANCEL AND BE HERE FOR YOU.
I DON'T WANT YOU
TO DO THAT. I'M FINE.
ALRIGHT. BUT I'LL
ONLY BE GONE AN HOUR.
LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR IF
SHE DOESN'T WANT DINNER.
KEEP YOUR CHIN UP, PRINCESS.
YOUR CHINS TOO, DOROTHY.
[BOTH LAUGH]
YOU KNOW, I'M STILL
A LITTLE CONFUSED.
NOW, WHO EXACTLY IS RICKY?
LUCY'S HUSBAND.
- I THOUGHT DESI WAS.
- NOT ON THE SHOW.
- DESI WASN'T ON THE SHOW?
- DESI PLAYED RICKY.
- WHO DID LUCY PLAY?
- LUCY.
I KNOW. BUT WHO DID SHE PLAY?
- LUCY.
- RIGHT. BUT WHO DID SHE PLAY?
LUCY PLAYED LUCY.
WELL, THEN, WHY
DIDN'T DESI PLAY DESI?
HE WASN'T TALL ENOUGH.
[GROANS]
I HAVE NEVER SEEN KATE SO UPSET.
I AM A WRECK. I FEEL LIKE
THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME.
LIKE I AM THE ONE WHO
HAD MY HEART STOMPED ON.
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT.
OH, I'M SORRY, DOROTHY.
IT'S JUST THAT LUCY DOESN'T KNOW
THAT THAT'S REALLY FRED
DRESSED UP AS A BURGLAR.
I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T REALIZE
THIS WAS MORE IMPORTANT.
[BOTH LAUGH]
ROSE, BLANCHE, THIS IS THE PART
WHERE MY GOOD FRIENDS ARE
SUPPOSED TO SHUT OFF THE TV.
SO SHUT OFF THE TV
OR IT'S OUT THE WINDOW.
THANK YOU. I'M TOUCHED.
- HOW YOU HOLDING UP?
- I THREATENED TO HURL THE TV.
THAT SHOULD GIVE
YOU SOME INDICATION.
KATE SEEMS TO BE HANDLING
THINGS PRETTY WELL.
THAT'S TONIGHT.
SHE'S STILL IN SHOCK.
OH, I REMEMBER WHEN STANLEY
TOLD ME HE WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR.
IT WAS AT LEAST 24 HOURS
BEFORE I CUT THE CROTCHES
OUT OF ALL OF HIS SLACKS.
YOU DIDN'T.
I WAS TEACHING
ENGLISH LIT AT THE TIME.
SYMBOLISM WAS MY LIFE.
I REMEMBER HOW I FELT
WHEN I THOUGHT CHARLIE
WAS CHEATING ON ME.
CHARLIE?
WE'D BEEN MARRIED FOR 18 YEARS.
AND UP UNTIL THEN, EVERYTHING
HAD SEEMED SO PERFECT.
THEN ONE NIGHT IT HAPPENED.
HE CAME HOME, HAD DINNER,
WALKED UPSTAIRS
AND WENT TO SLEEP.
I WENT IN THE BATHROOM
AND CRIED MY EYES OUT.
ROSE, I DON'T WANT TO
ENCOURAGE LONG STORIES,
BUT IT SEEMS IN THIS
STORY YOU LEFT OUT THE...
- THE STORY.
- THAT'S THE WORD.
WELL, CHARLIE
WENT RIGHT TO SLEEP.
WE DIDN'T, WELL... YOU KNOW...
AND HE'D PROMISED?
NO! IT'S JUST THAT THAT WAS
THE FIRST TIME IT HAD HAPPENED
IN 18 YEARS OF MARRIED LIFE.
GET OUT OF HERE.
YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT
EVERY NIGHT WITHOUT FAIL
FOR 18 YEARS, YOU AND
CHARLIE... OF COURSE.
RIGHT AFTER DINNER.
WELL, NO WONDER YOU
NEVER HEARD OF I LOVE LUCY.
OF COURSE, AS IT TURNED
OUT, I WAS JUST OVERREACTING.
I MEAN, IT WAS A
FREAK, ONE-TIME THING.
BY THE NEXT MORNING,
EVERYTHING WAS BACK TO NORMAL.
BY MORNING?
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME,
THAT EVERY MORNING?
CHARLIE SAID THAT'S WHY
WE DIDN'T HAVE HEADACHES
AND WE BOTH HAD
REALLY SHINY HAIR.
LISTEN, ROSE, NO OFFENSE,
BUT I FIND THAT STORY A
LITTLE HARD TO BELIEVE.
YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE
TO TALK ABOUT SEX.
IN MY EXPERIENCE,
PEOPLE WHO TALK ABOUT IT
DON'T DO IT VERY OFTEN.
- COFFEE, ANYONE?
- [DOORBELL]
- THAT MUST BE STAN.
- I'LL GET IT.
OH, BLANCHE. BLANCHE,
WHY DO THEY DO IT?
WHY DO MEN DO IT AND THINK
THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT?
SAME REASON A DOG
LICKS HIMSELF, DOROTHY.
BECAUSE HE CAN.
WHERE'S STAN?
- IT WASN'T STAN AT THE DOOR.
- WHO WAS IT?
JUST STAY CALM. JUST RELAX AND
DON'T DO ANYTHING YOU'LL BE SORRY FOR.
- DENNIS.
- HELLO, MOTHER DOROTHY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D SHOW YOUR
FACE. I THINK YOU SHOULD LEAVE.
- MOTHER DOROTHY...
- DO NOT CALL ME THAT.
I HATE IT WHEN YOU CALL
ME MOTHER DOROTHY.
I FEEL I SHOULD BE HANDING OUT
RICE ON THE STREETS OF CALCUTTA.
- WHERE IS KATE?
- SHE'S NOT HERE.
- SHE SAID SHE WAS COMING HERE.
- SHE LEFT.
- WHERE DID SHE GO?
- TO MEET WITH MARLO THOMAS.
THEY'RE GOING TO DRINK WHITE
WINE SPRITZERS AND FIGURE OUT
HOW TO FRY YOUR
WANDERING MALE BEHIND.
DENNIS.
KATE, WE HAVE TO TALK.
SHE HAS NOTHING TO SAY. GET OUT.
MOM, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO SPEAK FOR ME.
- DENNIS, GET OUT.
- KATE, PLEASE.
YOU DON'T OWE IT TO ME
AND I'LL GO IF YOU WANT.
I'M JUST ASKING TO SPEAK TO YOU.
I WONDER HOW HE'S GOING TO
TALK HIS WAY OUT OF THIS ONE.
NO MATTER WHAT HE SAYS,
SHE'LL SEE RIGHT THOUGH IT.
GOOD FOR KATE. THAT BUM
DESERVES EVERYTHING HE GETS.
I'M GLAD HE SHOWED UP.
SHE CAN GET IT OVER WITH.
YOU THINK SHE'LL STILL
SEE MARLO THOMAS?
'CAUSE I'D SURE
LIKE AN AUTOGRAPH.
OH... [LAUGHS]
I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
EVERYBODY LOVED LUCY.
SHE'S TALKING ABOUT
KATE AND DENNIS.
HOW LONG HAVE
THEY BEEN IN THERE?
SINCE LUCY WENT TO SCOTLAND.
THAT WOULD MAKE
IT OVER 30 YEARS.
IT'S BEEN AN HOUR, BUT KATE
HAD A LOT TO GET OFF HER CHEST.
YOU THINK HE'D HAVE THE
COURTESY TO SAY GOODBYE.
- HE'S COMING BACK, MOM.
- WHAT?
HE'S GETTING A
SUITCASE OUT OF THE CAR.
WE TALKED THINGS
OVER. EVERYTHING'S OKAY.
OKAY? EVERYTHING'S OKAY?
- COME ON, ROSE.
- WHAT ABOUT LUCY?
WE'LL WATCH IT ON THE PORTABLE.
BUT THAT SET'S BLACK-AND-WHITE.
DENNIS EXPLAINED EVERYTHING.
EXPLAINED? EXPLAINED WHAT?
HOW HE DID IT? I EXPLAINED
THAT WHEN YOU WERE 12.
I CAN LIVE WITH HIS APOLOGY.
HE'S VERY SORRY.
HE'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
I DON'T WANT TO END
MY MARRIAGE OVER THIS.
I THINK YOU'RE MAKING A MISTAKE.
MOM, DENNIS IS MY HUSBAND AND
IF I FORGIVE HIM, YOU SHOULD, TOO.
- FORGIVE HIM?
- LOOK, IT'S MY MARRIAGE.
I NEVER SHOULD HAVE COME
HERE. THAT WAS A BIG MISTAKE.
WE'LL BE OUT OF
HERE IN THE MORNING.
MA. MA.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
I'M SORRY, BUT I
HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.
DENNIS TOLD KATE HE WAS
SORRY FOR WHAT HE DID
- AND THEY'VE MADE UP.
- MARVELOUS. GET THE HELL OUT!
DENNIS HAD AN AFFAIR.
HOW COULD SHE FORGIVE HIM?
DOROTHY, PLEASE, LET
ME GO BACK TO SLEEP.
I WAS DREAMING I WAS BEING
HELD CAPTIVE ON A DESERT ISLAND
BY CESAR ROMERO IN A LOINCLOTH.
MA, KATE AND I HAD A
FIGHT. I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.
YOU KNOW THAT
WASHCLOTH IN MY BATHROOM?
THAT'S HOW BIG CESAR'S
LOINCLOTH WAS. GOOD NIGHT.
MA.
- MA!
- ALRIGHT.
WHAT DID YOU AND KATE
HAVE A FIGHT ABOUT?
ABOUT ADVERTISING CONDOMS ON TV.
ABOUT DENNIS. I CAN'T BELIEVE
SHE WOULD GO BACK TO HIM.
I TOLD HER IT WAS A BIG MISTAKE.
WHO'S ASKING YOU? IT'S
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
KATE CAME TO ME.
SHE CAME TO YOU TO LISTEN.
YOU SHOULD STAY OUT OF IT.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT.
SIT. LISTEN. LEARN.
PICTURE THIS.
BROOKLYN, JULY, 1949.
MA, PUT A SENTENCE TOGETHER.
YOU SOUND LIKE A SPORTSCASTER.
OH, SHUT UP. ANYWAY, IT WAS THE
NIGHT OF YOUR FIRST ANNIVERSARY.
YOU SHOWED UP AT MY HOUSE
AT TWO IN THE MORNING, CRYING.
YOU LOOKED LIKE HELL.
YOU TOLD ME YOU HAD COOKED
AN ANNIVERSARY DINNER FOR STAN.
HE CAME HOME LATE AND
THERE WAS LIPSTICK ON HIS SHIRT.
YOU KEPT SAYING TO ME,
"MA, WHAT SHOULD I DO?"
- REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU?
- YEAH.
THANK GOD. WHAT
WAS IT? I FORGOT.
YOU SAID THAT IF YOU
COULD ERASE THIS ONE DAY,
IS THIS STILL THE MAN
YOU WANT TO BE WITH?
AND YOU SAID YES.
I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "IDIOT",
BUT I KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT.
I KNEW THIS WAS A
DECISION YOU HAD TO MAKE.
YOU'RE SAYING I SHOULD STAY OUT OF
THIS MESS BETWEEN KATE AND DENNIS.
I SAID IT, USED IT IN A STORY.
YOU WANT ME TO EMBROIDER IT ON
YOUR UNDERWEAR? STAY OUT OF IT!
I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT.
THEN YOU'RE GONNA LOSE KATE.
AND SOMEDAY STAN IS GONNA
CALL YOU UP AND TELL YOU
YOU HAVE A GRANDCHILD
WHO YOU'RE NEVER GONNA SEE.
GOOD NIGHT, MA.
NOT TONIGHT, CESAR. I'M
NOT IN THE MOOD ANYMORE.
THAT LAST EPISODE OF I
LOVE LUCY WAS HILARIOUS.
IT SURE WAS. I NEVER REALIZED
YOU COULD HAVE THAT MUCH
FUN STAYING UP ALL NIGHT.
OH? NOT EVEN WITH CHARLIE?
OH, WE NEVER STAYED UP ALL
NIGHT. JUST SEVEN TILL MIDNIGHT
AND FIVE TO SEVEN EVERY MORNING.
AND, OF COURSE, TILL
NOON ON SUNDAYS.
LORD, NO WONDER YOU
STILL MOURN THAT MAN.
- MORNING.
- HI. HOW ARE YOU DOING?
MUCH BETTER. MA AND I TALKED
AND I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO.
FOR ONCE YOU'LL
KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
IF I WANT THINGS TO BE OKAY,
I MUST GET IT OFF MY CHEST.
FINE. YOU'LL FEEL BETTER, BUT
YOU'LL LOSE YOUR DAUGHTER.
- MORNING, EVERYONE.
- HOW DID YOU GET IN?
THE KEY UNDER THE MAT.
- DO I SMELL WAFFLES?
- NO.
COULD I SMELL WAFFLES?
WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE?
THE HOUSE OF PANCAKES?
- SO, HOW'S KATE DOING?
- BETTER THAN I AM.
DENNIS IS HERE AND
SHE'S FORGIVEN HIM.
HE'S HERE? SOMEBODY HOLD
MY HAIR. I'M GONNA KILL HIM!
OH, SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP.
GOOD MORNING,
EVERYBODY. HI, DADDY.
LISTEN, I HEAR THAT YOU AND
DENNIS ARE BACK TOGETHER.
THAT'S RIGHT. WE'RE LEAVING
FOR THE AIRPORT NOW.
- KATE, I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING.
- YEAH?
NOT TO YOU, TO DENNIS.
DENNIS, I WANT TO
SPEAK WITH YOU.
MOTHER.
IT'S ALRIGHT, KATE.
IS YOUR NAME DENNIS?
I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE THERE.
ONE SPERM WITH A
SENSE OF DIRECTION
AND I PAY FOR IT FOR
THE REST OF MY LIFE.
- DOROTHY, I...
- PLEASE, DENNIS.
I JUST WANT YOU TO LISTEN.
YESTERDAY, KATE
CAME TO ME, CRYING.
SHE WAS MORE HURT THAN I
HAD EVER SEEN HER BEFORE.
- DOROTHY...
- PLEASE.
I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND
WHAT THAT DOES TO A PARENT.
SEEING YOUR CHILD HURT
IS WORSE THAN ANY PAIN YOU
CAN POSSIBLY FEEL YOURSELF.
WHEN THEY'RE LITTLE,
YOU PROTECT THEM
FROM THE BULLIES
ON THE PLAYGROUND,
AND THEN LATER YOU SUFFER
WITH THEM THROUGH ACNE
AND PUPPY LOVE.
THEN THE FIRST DATE, THEN
THE FIRST TIME ALONE IN A CAR.
FINALLY THEY MEET SOMEONE
WHO WILL LOVE THEM AND TAKE CARE
OF THEM AND THEY DON'T NEED YOU.
YOU'RE NOT THRILLED,
BUT YOU GET USED TO IT.
AND THEN SOMETHING HAPPENS
AND YOU FIND OUT THERE'S STILL
BULLIES ON THE PLAYGROUND.
AND THE OLD INSTINCTS COME BACK.
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY.
I KNOW YOU HAVE MADE UP,
BUT I STILL HAVE THE SAME
FEELINGS. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
YES, I DO. I DID A VERY STUPID
THING THAT CAN'T BE UNDONE.
I'M GOING TO DO EVERYTHING TO
MAKE IT UP TO KATE. I LOVE HER.
I PROMISE YOU THAT NOTHING
LIKE THIS WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.
GOOD. GOOD.
BECAUSE IF IT DOES, I WILL
BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR HAND.
YOU'LL SPEND YOUR LIFE
SELLING NEWSPAPERS
OUT OF A WAGON.
KEEP IT ZIPPED, BUDDY.
SHE'S NOT KIDDING.
DENNIS, IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
EVERYTHING IS FINE. YOU'D BETTER
HURRY. YOU'LL MISS YOUR PLANE.
THANKS, MOM.
THANKS, DAD.
IF YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING
AROUND MEMORIAL DAY, VISIT US.
- HOW ABOUT ME?
- OF COURSE, DENNIS.
OF COURSE. YOU'RE
ALWAYS INCLUDED.
DOROTHY, YOU'RE HURTING ME.
- GOODBYE AGAIN.
- BYE, DARLING.
OH, DOROTHY, I'M SO
GLAD THINGS WORKED OUT.
- ME TOO.
- MAYBE YOU'RE NOT A GRANDMOMMA,
BUT YOU'RE STILL A
DARNED GOOD MOMMA.
KATE'S GONNA BE A DARNED
GOOD MOMMA TOO SOMETIME.
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
'CAUSE IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY.
WELL, I GUESS
I'LL BE GOING, TOO.
YOU KNOW, DOROTHY, OUT
ON THE LANAI OUT THERE,
IT WAS LIKE OLD TIMES.
YOU AND ME, A TEAM, UNITED.
PARTNERS. IT FELT
PRETTY GOOD, DIDN'T IT?
IT SURE DID.
WHERE DID IT GO WRONG, DOROTHY?
OH... WHO KNOWS?
THESE THINGS HAPPEN.
I REMEMBER. I WASN'T HAPPY
AT HOME UNDER THE SHEETS.
DOROTHY, YOU'RE HURTING ME.
I MEAN IT. YOU'RE
REALLY HURTING ME.