The Golden Girls (1985–1992): Season 2, Episode 10 - Love, Rose - full transcript

♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND

♪ TRAVELED DOWN THE
ROAD AND BACK AGAIN

♪ YOUR HEART IS TRUE

♪ YOU'RE A PAL AND A CONFIDANTE

♪ AND IF YOU THREW A PARTY

♪ INVITED EVERYONE YOU KNEW

♪ YOU WOULD SEE THE
BIGGEST GIFT WOULD BE FROM ME

♪ AND THE CARD
ATTACHED WOULD SAY

♪ THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND ♪

OH, SOPHIA. YOUR
CARD GAME RUN LATE?

THEY CHANGED THE ROUTE ON
THE NUMBER 10 BUS. NO WARNING.



WHERE DID YOU END UP?

WHO KNOWS? ONLY ONE
PERSON SPOKE ENGLISH,

AND HE BLAMED ME
FOR THE BAY OF PIGS.

- HOW DID YOU GET HOME?
- ON ANOTHER BUS.

BUT THEY'D CHANGED THE
NAME OF THE NUMBER 10 TO

THE NUMBER 7. I'M GONNA
WRITE DAVID HOROWITZ.

OH, SOPHIA, I THINK YOU
GOT ON THE WRONG BUS.

MAYBE, BUT I'M GONNA
WRITE HOROWITZ, ANYWAY.

I WANT SOMEONE TO ARREST
DAVID HARPER'S DENTIST.

ROSE, I HAVE A DATE. DO YOU PLAN
TO USE YOUR SILVER BRACELET?

I PLAN TO SPEND THE EVENING
REORGANIZING MY RECIPE FILE.

UNLESS YOU'RE DRESSING FOR
THAT, CAN I BORROW THE BRACELET?

- ALL YOURS.
- THANK YOU.

I'M BORROWING YOUR
PEARL EARRINGS.



WELL, WHAT IF I'M USING THEM?

OH, HONEY, I WOULD
BE SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE A DATE.

THE ONLY WOMAN WHO
WENT WITHOUT MALE

COMPANIONSHIP LONGER
THAN YOU WAS HEATHER SWAIN,

WHO WENT TO THE SANITARIUM FOR WHAT
REVEREND SAMUELS INSISTED WAS THE CROUP,

BUT WHICH ALL MAYFLOWER COUNTY
KNEW WAS... [WHISPERS] A SOCIAL DISEASE.

CONGRATULATIONS,
ROSE. A NEW RECORD.

AND YOU'VE DONE IT WITHOUT
NEEDING... [WHISPERS] PENICILLIN.

NOW, ROSE KNOWS I DON'T MEAN ANYTHING.
DON'T YOU? WE ALL HAVE OUR DRY SPELLS.

YOU CAN BORROW THE EARRINGS,
BLANCHE. I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

AND KEEP THEM
TILL I DO NEED THEM.

OH, COME ON, ROSE. DON'T LET
THIS BOTHER YOU. YOU'LL DATE AGAIN.

OF COURSE. HONEY, HAVE YOU
GIVEN ANY THOUGHT TO ADVERTISING?

OH, BLANCHE! I COULD
NEVER DRESS THE WAY YOU DO.

BESIDES, I HAVE TO WEAR UNDIES.

NOT ALL MY WOOL
SKIRTS ARE LINED.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

BLANCHE, DO YOU MEAN
LIKE A PERSONALS COLUMN?

- YEAH.
- THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

- I DON'T KNOW.
- OH, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE?

IF YOU DON'T FIND ANYONE
INTERESTING, YOU DON'T HAVE TO APPLY.

AND THE COMMUNITY CENTER RUNS THEIR
SERVICE IN THE NEWSLETTER FOR FREE.

AND THEY'LL EVEN RUN YOUR PICTURE,
AND LET YOU USE A 100-WORD BIOGRAPHY.

- HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
- RUMOR.

WELL, I COULD TRY IT,

BUT I COULD NEVER GO OUT
WITH A MAN I MET THAT WAY.

HONEY, DESPERATE TIMES
CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES.

BLANCHE, I'M NOT THE ONLY
WOMAN IN MIAMI WITHOUT A DATE.

ROSE, I NEED TO BORROW
A SILK SCARF TONIGHT.

YOU HAVE A DATE?

NO, I'M DOING THE DANCE OF THE
SEVEN VEILS, AND I'M ONE SHORT.

SOMETIMES I WORRY ABOUT HER.

GIRLS, WAS THIS THE
ONLY MAIL TODAY?

YES, PEOPLE
MAGAZINE IS LATE AGAIN.

I'LL HAVE TO GIVE THAT
MAILMAN ANOTHER TALKING-TO.

THIS TIME, TRY SOMETHING
A LITTLE MORE FORCEFUL

THAN ASKING HIM IN FOR A
CAFE VIENNA AND A WARM BATH.

DOROTHY, THE MAN HAD JUST
RECOVERED FROM A HERNIA OPERATION,

AND HE WAS HAVING
TROUBLE CARRYING HIS SACK.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE RESPONSE
TO MY PERSONAL AD. IT'S TERRIBLE.

- NO-ONE INTERESTED?
- NO. TWO WEEKS, NOT ONE LETTER.

- PSST.
- [BLANCHE] HI, SOPHIA.

DO ANY OF YOU SEE A
FEDORA IN THE WINDOW?

- [ROSE] I DON'T.
- GOOD. I LOST HIM.

- LOST WHO?
- A GUY WHO KEEPS FOLLOWING ME.

HE'S ENGLISH. I MET
HIM AT THE CENTER.

HE'S GOT THE HOTS FOR ME.

AS MUCH AS AN ENGLISH
GUY CAN GET THE HOTS.

SOPHIA GETS CHASED, AND
I DON'T EVEN GET A LETTER.

- YOU CAN HAVE WILLY.
- WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH HIM. OK, SO HE'S 90.

HE HAS A TOM-TURKEY PROFILE,
AND HIS BUTT HITS HIS HEELS.

HE THINKS HE CAN PULL IT
OFF BY WEARING A JAUNTY CAP.

HE SOUNDS KINDA CUTE, MA.
WHY ARE YOU AVOIDING HIM?

THERE'S NO MAGIC, DOROTHY.
NO SPARKS. YOU KNOW?

HE'S 90; YOU'RE 80.
SPARKS ARE DANGEROUS.

I KNOW. I WOULDN'T DATE A
MAN UNLESS I FELT SPARKS.

WELL, FORTUNATELY, YOU
CARRY FLINTS IN YOUR BRA.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LISTENING TO A
DISCUSSION ABOUT SOPHIA'S LOVE LIFE.

HOOK UP WITH WILLY.
HE NEEDS TO FORGET ME.

- NO, THANK YOU.
- OK. BUT IT'S YOUR LOSS.

THERE AREN'T MANY GUYS
WHO REMEMBER WHERE THEY

WERE WHEN THE ARCHDUKE
FERDINAND WAS SHOT.

OH, ROSE, DON'T LET THIS
PERSONALS THING DEPRESS YOU.

I CAN'T HELP IT. I
HAVEN'T BEEN THIS

DEPRESSED SINCE I WAS
REJECTED BY UNCLE SAM.

WELL, HONEY, IF HE WAS YOUR
UNCLE, IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE.

IT'S NOT LIKE HE
WAS YOUR COUSIN.

THAT RELATIONSHIP
MIGHT HAVE A FUTURE.

TELL ME, BLANCHE. DID ANY OF YOUR
RELATIVES APPEAR IN DELIVERANCE?

IT WAS DURING THE
KOREAN CONFLICT.

I WAS REJECTED AS A WAC.

I FAILED THE INK-BLOT TEST.

OH, ROSE, HOW CAN YOU
FAIL AN INK-BLOT TEST?

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
COULDN'T CUT THEM OUT.

I NEVER FELT SO
REJECTED IN MY LIFE.

UNTIL NOW.

BOY, THIS PERSONALS
IDEA WAS REALLY A MISTAKE.

- IS THERE SOMETHING WE CAN DO?
- WE'VE DONE ENOUGH.

I KNOW. I'LL SET HER UP WITH ONE
OF MY DISCARDS, HENRY BARNES.

HE'S REASONABLY GOOD-LOOKING;
HE DRIVES A NEW BUICK RIVIERA;

AND I HEARD HE JUST OPENED
A THIRD DRY-CLEANING STORE.

- BLANCHE, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
- TO CALL HIM. I'M FREE TONIGHT.

- AND ROSE?
- SHE CAN CALL BUD NEEDHAM.

WHO'S HE?

HE JUST TOOK HENRY'S
PLACE IN MY DISCARD PILE.

SO, TELL JACKIE YOU'D PREFER
MARLA TO DO YOUR HAIR.

I CAN'T. JACKIE AND I GO
WAY BACK, BEFORE BOUFFANT.

- YOU'RE PRACTICALLY FAMILY.
- I KNOW.

SO, I'LL TAKE MARLA,
AND YOU TAKE JACKIE.

BUT JACKIE MAKES YOU
LOOK LIKE A CHICKEN.

BUT WITH YOUR
NOSE, IT COULD WORK.

GIRLS, YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED.
I GOT A RESPONSE FROM MY PERSONAL AD!

- YOU'RE KIDDING!
- AND IT'S THE SWEETEST LETTER.

HE APOLOGIZES FOR
WAITING SO LONG TO RESPOND.

HE SAYS HE'S SHY ABOUT MEETING
SOMEONE THROUGH PERSONALS.

OH, WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON.

WE BOTH LOVE ALL DAIRY FOODS,

AND WE BOTH REQUESTED TO STAND
WITH BERT PARKS IN HANDS ACROSS AMERICA.

- HE SOUNDS VERY NICE.
- WILL YOU GO OUT WITH HIM?

OH, I COULDN'T GO OUT WITH
HIM. THAT WAS AN EXPERIMENT.

BUT THE LETTER'S SO SWEET. I'M GOING TO
WRITE HIM AND TELL HIM HOW I APPRECIATE IT.

ISN'T IT NICE TO SEE ROSE
FEELING SO GOOD ABOUT HERSELF?

OH, THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE SEEN
HER SMILE SINCE ALL THIS STARTED.

DOROTHY... I HAVE A
CONFESSION TO MAKE.

I WROTE THAT LETTER TO ROSE.

WHAT?

I WROTE THAT LETTER MYSELF. I MADE
UP A NAME AND ANSWERED ROSE'S AD.

BLANCHE, HOW COULD YOU?

SHE THINKS SOMEONE
TOOK AN INTEREST IN HER.

WELL, SOMEONE DID. ME.

BUT WHAT IF SHE EXPECTS ANOTHER
LETTER OR DECIDES TO GO OUT WITH HIM?

WELL, WE JUST WRITE ONE LAST FAREWELL
LETTER, BEFORE HE MOVES TO... SASKATCHEWAN,

AND THAT'S THE END
OF ISAAC NEWTON.

ISAAC NEWTON?

THE FIRST NAME
THAT CAME TO MIND.

ISAAC NEWTON WAS THE
FIRST NAME THAT CAME TO MIND?

ACTUALLY, TED KOPPEL WAS THE
FIRST NAME THAT CAME TO MIND.

BUT HE LOOKS LIKE HOWDY
DOODY'S ILLEGITIMATE SON.

GIN!

- HE COULD END IT WITH A POEM.
- HE DID THAT LAST TIME.

NO, HE WROTE A POEM
THREE LETTERS AGO.

HE DOESN'T WRITE POEMS,
BLANCHE. WE WRITE POEMS.

ACTUALLY, LORD BYRON WRITES POEMS. WE
JUST COPY THEM ONTO LOOSE-LEAF PAPER.

IN CLEVERLY DISGUISED
HANDWRITING, I MIGHT ADD.

OH, WHY DID I AGREE TO DO THIS?
WE HAVE TO TELL ROSE THE TRUTH.

NO, IT WOULD CRUSH HER.

THEN WE SHIP ISAAC
NEWTON TO SASKATCHEWAN.

YOU CAN'T SEND A CITRUS FARMER TO
SASKATCHEWAN. HOW'S HE GOING TO LIVE?

EXCUSE ME. NEXT TIME
WE INVENT A PERSON,

LET'S MAKE SURE THAT HE
HAS A TRADE THAT TRAVELS.

BESIDES, I'M KIND OF PROUD OF
ISAAC. I'D HATE TO SEE HIM GO, MYSELF.

WE HAVE CREATED A
POETRY-WRITING CITRUS FARMER,

WHO WRITES LETTERS
WITH A LAVENDER FELT PEN.

AND ROSE THINKS HE'S FASCINATING.
NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT SAYS?

- ABOUT ROSE?
- ABOUT THE WHOLE BUNCH OF US!

DOROTHY, I GOT A BIG PROBLEM.

THE METAMUCIL'S
IN THE TOP CABINET.

I MEAN THE CHESWICK DUDE.

I EXPLAINED TO THE OLD MAN THAT AT 90
THERE WOULD NEVER BE ANYTHING BETWEEN US.

- WHAT DID HE SAY?
- "NOT NEVER,

BUT WITH A LITTLE
LUCK EVERY SIX WEEKS."

OH, I'M GLAD EVERYBODY'S STILL
UP. I JUST HAD A TERRIFIC IDEA.

WHAT?

I'VE BEEN READING AND
RE-READING ISAAC'S LETTERS,

AND I'VE DECIDED TO
TELL HIM I WANT TO MEET.

BUT... YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T.

ONLY 'CAUSE I NEVER BELIEVED
I'D FIND SUCH A SPECIAL MAN.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE'S
SPECIAL? I MEAN, YOU HARDLY KNOW HIM...

I SUPPOSE, BUT IT FEELS
LIKE I'VE KNOWN HIM FOR AGES,

AND THAT HE'S KNOWN ME.

OH, I'VE FOUND THE
MOST WONDERFUL MAN,

AND I OWE IT ALL
TO THE TWO OF YOU.

HOW DO YOU SPELL SASKATCHEWAN?

- MA, HAVE YOU SEEN MY WATCH?
- HERE. I BORROWED IT.

I WANTED IT TONIGHT.
CAN'T YOU ASK?

AND DISTURB YOU WHILE
YOU'RE TAMING YOUR COWLICK?

IT'S SILLY TO TAKE THREE
CARS TO THIS RECEPTION.

FOUR COUPLES CAN FIT INTO TWO.

FINE WITH ME, AND
HOWARD WON'T MIND.

MA, BRING YOUR DATE WITH US.

WHAT DATE? WILLY SCARED OFF
ALL THE ELIGIBLE MEN AT THE CENTER.

BLANCHE, CAN I
BORROW MY EARRINGS?

SURE, AND BRING
YOUR COUSIN WITH US.

- OH, I'M NOT TAKING HIM.
- WHY NOT? YOU HAVE NO DATE.

I DON'T, EITHER. WE CAN SIT BY THE
SWEET TABLE AND GUESS PEOPLE'S WEIGHT.

OH, I HAVE A DATE, BUT
NOT COUSIN ARNOLD.

GOOD. I NEVER LIKED
YOUR COUSIN ARNOLD.

YOU HAVE A DATE? ANYONE WE KNOW?

ISAAC.

- EXCUSE ME?
- ISAAC, FROM THE PERSONALS.

- YOU'RE... NOT SERIOUS?
- SURE I AM.

BEFORE I COULD WRITE
AND SUGGEST WE MEET,

I GOT A LETTER FROM HIM,

SAYING HE WAS MOVING
TO SASKATCHEWAN.

HE'S GOING TO BE THE SMUDGE POT SUPERVISOR
OF THE FIRST DOMED ORANGE GROVE IN CANADA.

ANYWAY, HE'S LEAVING TUESDAY,
SO THERE'S NO TIME TO WASTE.

WE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS.

SO, I LOOKED THROUGH
ALL THE PHONE BOOKS, AND

THERE WAS ONLY ONE
LISTING FOR ISAAC Q NEWTON.

I CALLED HIM AND INVITED
HIM TO THE RECEPTION.

HE SHOULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE!

ARE YOU SAYING YOU GOT YOUR
DATE FROM THE PHONE BOOK?

WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE THE YELLOW
PAGES. ANYWAY, I DO KNOW HIM.

ER... ROSE, EXACTLY WHAT DID
HE SAY WHEN YOU CALLED HIM?

WELL, I WAS PRETTY NERVOUS, SO I DIDN'T
GIVE HIM MUCH CHANCE TO SAY ANYTHING.

- HE ACCEPTED YOUR INVITATION?
- I TOLD HIM HE HAD TO.

WELL, I'D BETTER
FINISH GETTING READY.

OH, BLANCHE, COULD I
BORROW MY BEADED PURSE?

YEAH... SURE, HONEY.

DOROTHY, WHAT
ARE WE GOING TO DO?

WE CAN'T LET ROSE MEET SOMEONE

WHO SAID YES TO A WOMAN WHO'D
PICKED HIS NAME FROM A BOOK.

YOU SAY THAT LIKE
NOBODY EVER DOES IT.

BESIDES, IT'S JUST
FOR THIS ONE DATE.

AFTER THAT HE LEAVES
FOR SASKATCHEWAN.

HE DOESN'T! WE MADE THAT UP.

ALRIGHT. WELL...

IF HE'S WONDERFUL, WE'D HAVE
RUINED HER EVENING FOR NOTHING.

[DOORBELL]

OH, LET'S MEET HIM. HE MIGHT
BE ROSE'S DREAM COME TRUE.

WELL, SO MUCH FOR THAT THEORY.

[ENGLISH ACCENT] GOOD EVENING.
WILFRED WHITNEY CHESWICK HERE.

MIGHT THIS BE THE HOME
OF THE WIDOW PETRILLO?

- WELL, THERE YOU ARE, SOPHIA!
- WILLY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'VE COME TO ESCORT
YOU TO THE RECEPTION,

AND I WON'T TAKE
NO FOR AN ANSWER.

OH, YEAH? TAKE
THIS FOR AN ANSWER.

MA!

ALRIGHT, CHESWICK. YOU MIGHT AS
WELL MAKE USE OF THAT MONKEY SUIT.

BUT IF ANYBODY CUTE ASKS ME
TO DANCE, MAKE YOURSELF SCARCE.

ONCE I HAVE YOU IN MY ARMS
ON THAT DANCE FLOOR, SOPHIA,

YOU WON'T SO MUCH AS
GLANCE AT ANOTHER MAN.

DREAM ON, PICCADILLY.

OH, COME ON, BLANCHE. LET'S GO CONFESS
TO ROSE AND BEG HER FORGIVENESS.

[DOORBELL]

- HI. ROSE?
- NO, I'M DOROTHY.

- HI. ROSE?
- BLANCHE. YOU'RE ISAAC NEWTON?

YES.

I BET YOU TAKE A LOT
OF KIDDING ABOUT THAT!

- [BLANCHE LAUGHS]
- ABOUT WHAT?

ER... ROSE SHOULD BE READY ANY
MOMENT. JUST MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE.

OH, NO, NO, I COULDN'T.
I'M NEVER COMFORTABLE.

YOU CAN'T TELL, BECAUSE
MY ARMS ARE LOWERED,

BUT I'VE NEARLY SWEATED
THROUGH THIS SUIT.

I GUESS ROSE FORGOT TO MENTION
THE RECEPTION TONIGHT'S BLACK-TIE.

I HAVE IT IN MY POCKET.

ER... I'LL BET YOU
WERE SURPRISED

WHEN ROSE CALLED YOU UP
SUDDENLY AND INVITED YOU OUT.

YES, I WAS. I DON'T
DATE VERY MUCH.

I MEAN, I TRY.

I TOOK A LOT OF RIBBING AT THE
BOARDING HOUSE THIS EVENING.

HI. I'M READY.

ER... ROSE, THIS IS ISAAC.

WOW! YOU'RE REALLY BEAUTIFUL.

OH, THANK YOU, ISAAC.

ROSE, WE HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

- THAT'S A VERY NICE DRESS.
- THANK YOU.

I'VE WORN IT ONCE BEFORE.

BUT THE PANTYHOSE ARE NEW.

ROSE, IF BLANCHE AND I COULD
SEE YOU OUTSIDE FOR A MOMENT...

IF I MAY BE SO BOLD... THE
PANTYHOSE ARE NICE, TOO.

AT LEAST THE HOSE PART.

I'M SO HAPPY TO
FINALLY MEET YOU, ISAAC.

YOU TWO JUST RUN
ALONG, AND WE'LL CATCH UP.

- BLANCHE!
- SOMETHING IS HAPPENING HERE.

YES, IT'S THE BEGINNING
OF A DISASTER.

NO, EVERYTHING
COULD TURN OUT FINE.

CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING BEFORE
WE GO? COFFEE? TEA? A DAIRY PRODUCT?

CHEESE WOULD BE NICE.
TENDS TO CALM MY NERVES.

THANK YOU, SWEET
JESUS. IT'S A MIRACLE!

HOWARD, COULD YOU GET
ME ANOTHER CHAMPAGNE?

- ROGER, BE A DEAR.
- I HAVEN'T SEEN THEM ANYWHERE.

OH, MY GOD! WHAT IF HE'S A DEPRAVED
EX-CONVICT WHO'S KIDNAPPED ROSE,

AND TAKEN HER ON A RAMPAGE
OF VIOLENCE AND DESTRUCTION

UNPARALLELED IN THE
ANNALS OF MODERN CRIME?

THEN WE PROBABLY SHOULD
HAVE TOLD HER ABOUT THE LETTERS.

- OH, I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
- LET'S SEE IF WE CAN FIND THEM.

BUT BEING VICE-PRINCIPAL OF A JUNIOR
HIGH SCHOOL ISN'T AS GLAMOROUS AS IT WAS.

OH, I STILL GET TO KEEP ALL
THE CHOCOLATE CLUSTERS

FROM THE NEW BAND UNIFORM DRIVE,

AND I AM THE ADVISER
TO THE FRENCH CLUB.

BUT FOR 15 YEARS I'VE BEEN
ASKING MYSELF, "IS THAT ENOUGH?"

AND A WEEK AGO I
ANSWERED WITH A BIG FAT "NO".

GOOD FOR YOU. IT TAKES A SPECIAL
MAN TO TALK TO HIMSELF LIKE THAT.

WELL, MERCI. THAT'S FRENCH
FOR "THANK YOU". [LAUGHS]

ANYWAY, THAT'S WHEN I DECIDED IT'S
ABOUT TIME I FULFILLED MY LIFELONG DREAM

TO JOIN THOSE MEN WHO
SOAR ABOVE THE EARTH.

YOU WANT TO BE AN ASTRONAUT?

NO, I COULDN'T GO TO
THE BATHROOM IN MY SUIT.

I WANT TO BE A TRAFFIC REPORTER.

I WANT THE NAME ISAAC
NEWTON TO BE REMEMBERED.

YOU'RE REMARKABLE, ISAAC. ALL
THIS AND CITRUS FARMING, TOO.

HELLO THERE.

OH, GIRLS, ISN'T IT A
WONDERFUL PARTY?

- GLORIOUS.
- YOU TWO HAVING A GOOD TIME?

MY ONLY REGRET IS NOT
CALLING ISAAC SOONER.

OH, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN HARD.
MOM ONLY JUST GAVE ME MY OWN PHONE.

DON'T BE TOO TOUGH ON HER.
LOOK HOW GREAT YOU TURNED OUT.

- MERCI!
- COULD WE HAVE SOME CHAMPAGNE?

ER... IS THAT THE STUFF IN
THE BOTTLE OR THE BOWL?

NEVER MIND. I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

ROSE, WE HAVE TO TALK.

I WANT TO TALK TO
YOU. ISAAC IS SO SHY.

HE WON'T DISCUSS
ANYTHING ABOUT HIS LETTERS.

- WELL, ROSE, WE REALLY...
- LISTEN...

I GUESS I SHOULDN'T PUSH IT.

IF HE WANTS TO HIDE HIS ROMANTIC
SIDE BECAUSE IT EMBARRASSES HIM, FINE.

BUT WHY WON'T HE EXPLAIN
HOW HIS SMUDGE POT WORKS?

- LOOK, ROSE...
- HERE WE ARE, LADIES.

- TWO CHAMPAGNES.
- [BOTH] THANK YOU.

THERE'S A DANCE FLOOR IN THE
GARDEN AREA. I KNOW YOU LOVE TO DANCE.

I DO? WELL, THEN,
LET'S HAVE AT IT.

- SEE WHAT I MEAN?
- LISTEN, ROSE...

WE'LL BE BACK IN
JUST A LITTLE WHILE.

YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME, SOPHIA.

I WON'T GIVE UP
UNTIL I MAKE YOU MINE.

HERE. HOLD THIS.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
THAT I'M ONLY AFTER YOUR MONEY.

BUT I LOVE YOU FROM
THE DEPTHS OF MY SOUL.

THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A WEALTHY WIDOW
ONLY MAKES ME WANT TO PROTECT YOU,

NOT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU.

WHOA, WILLY. YOU GOT
YOUR BRAINS IN YOUR ASCOT?

WHY DO YOU THINK I'M WEALTHY?

- RJ JOLONOUX.
- YES, SO HE'D TAKE ME TO BINGO.

- YOU AREN'T A WEALTHY WIDOW?
- I BARELY HAVE A BANK ACCOUNT.

MY REGARDS TO
YOUR LOVELY FAMILY.

DON'T GET UPSET. I TOLD
YOU I COULDN'T DANCE.

- YOUR LETTER SAID YOU LOVED TO.
- HOWARD.

- WHAT IS THIS LETTER?
- I DON'T MEAN ONE LETTER...

- ROSE...
- I MEAN ALL THE LETTERS.

- YOU MEAN THE ALPHABET?
- DIDN'T YOU MEAN ANY OF IT?

THIS WAS ALL YOUR
IDEA OF A JOKE.

OH, NO, NO, I SWEAR. I
HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR.

ROSE, LISTEN TO US.

ROSE, WE'RE THE ONES
WHO WROTE THOSE LETTERS.

- WHAT?
- WE WANTED TO CHEER YOU UP.

OH, AND WE COULDN'T FIND THE RIGHT MOMENT
TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT. WE'RE SO SORRY.

OH... OH!

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU
STRAIGHTENED THAT OUT.

I WAS BEGINNING TO REMEMBER
WRITING THOSE LETTERS.

I KNOW I SAW HER COME IN.

RO... OH.

ROSE. HONEY, ARE YOU IN THERE?

ROSE, ROSE, PLEASE
COME OUT AND TALK TO US.

[ROSE] GO AWAY. I'M NOT
TALKING TO YOU AGAIN.

LOOK, ROSE, YOU HAVE
EVERY RIGHT TO BE ANGRY.

WHAT WE DID WAS INEXCUSABLE.

BUT LET US TRY TO
EXPLAIN WHY WE DID IT.

- NO. LEAVE ME ALONE.
- WE'LL JUST BE A SECOND.

ROSE, WE ARE NOT LEAVING UNTIL
WE TALK, EVEN IF IT TAKES ALL NIGHT.

[ROSE] HOW COULD YOU DO
THIS? AREN'T YOU MY FRIENDS?

WE ARE, ROSE, AND WHAT WE
DID WE DID OUT OF FRIENDSHIP.

[ROSE] FRIENDSHIP? YOU
MADE ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL.

I WONDERED WHERE
THEY MOVED THE PARTY TO.

ISAAC, THIS IS WHERE
LADIES GO TO THE BATHROOM.

WOW! HOW DO YOU
LIFT THIS BABY UP?

ISAAC, LATER, LATER.

I GUESS YOU HAVE TO STAND
BACK WHEN YOU FLUSH THIS THING.

OH, ROSE. ROSE, HONEY,
PLEASE COME OUT.

WE'VE ALREADY TOLD
YOU HOW SORRY WE ARE.

I MEAN, WE NEVER
EXPECTED THIS TO GO SO FAR.

[ROSE] BUT THAT
WASN'T THE WORST PART.

THE WORST PART WAS
MAKING ME BELIEVE THAT

SOMEBODY FELT THOSE
SPECIAL THINGS ABOUT ME.

SOMEBODY WANTED TO HEAR
WHY SOMETIMES I HATE MY JOB,

OR LIKE TO EAT MY
LUNCH IN THE PARK.

IT WAS SO NICE. IT WAS SO IMPORTANT
TO ME THAT SOMEONE CARED ABOUT ME

AS MUCH AS THE PERSON
WHO WROTE THOSE LETTERS.

IT MEANT SO MUCH TO HAVE
SOMEBODY LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE.

YOU DO, ROSE,
HONEY. YOU HAVE US.

WE'RE THE ONES WHO WROTE THOSE
LETTERS, ROSE, AND WE MEANT EVERY WORD.

IT WAS STILL A PRETTY
CRAZY THING TO DO,

BUT AT LEAST YOU DID IT
BECAUSE YOU CARED ABOUT ME.

OK, LET'S GET BACK TO OUR DATES.

I WANT HOWARD TO GET ME
TIPSY AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME.

BLANCHE... HOWARD'S MY DATE.

OOPS. [LAUGHS]