The Golden Girls (1985–1992): Season 1, Episode 24 - Big Daddy - full transcript

Blanche's father, "Big Daddy" Hollingsworth, visits with the news that he's sold his house and wants to become a singer. Meanwhile, a boundary dispute over a fallen tree leads Sophia to put a curse on the rude neighbor who refuses to move it.

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the
road and back again

♪ Your heart is true



♪ You're a pal and a confidante

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see the
biggest gift would be from me

♪ And the card
attached would say

♪ "Thank you for
being a friend" ♪

Morning, Ma.

Taste this.

Mm... oh, it's awful.
What's the matter with it?

It's expired.

But sometimes it's
good after the date.

I just wanted to check.



You look tired, Ma.

Rose kept me up
all night. Oh, why?

I don't know. She
was afraid of the storm.

3:00 in the morning,
she knocks on my door,

crying, begging, pleading
to get into bed with me.

Just like your father used
to do before we got married.

So what did you do?

I told him, "You're
not getting anything

until you put a ring on my finger
and a donkey in my father's barn."

Not Pop, Rose.

I told her to get the
hell out of my room.

Oh, Sophia, I want to
explain about last night.

When I was a little girl,

one summer, we had a
terrible thunderstorm...

Excuse me, Rose. Have I given
you any indication at all that I care?

Girls, my father's coming.

Big Daddy's coming.
He just called.

Oh, Big Daddy's gonna
be in Miami tomorrow.

I can't believe it.

I can't believe I know anyone
who calls her father Big Daddy.

Back home, everybody
calls him Big Daddy.

Why, he's the most respected
and beloved man in our town.

Oh, for as long
as I can remember,

people from all over the county
would drive up to Twin Oaks,

that's the name of our house,

to ask Big Daddy's advice
on one thing or the other.

And while the men were
discussing business on the veranda,

the ladies would retire to
the shade of an old magnolia

to sip mint juleps

and exchange prize-winning
pecan pie recipes.

Tell me, Blanche,
during any of this,

would the farm hands
suddenly break into a chorus

of "Dem Old Cotton
Fields Back Home"?

Well, maybe I am
exaggerating just a touch,

but not about Big Daddy.

Oh, he's a very special man.

He has truly been a father
to everybody in our town.

Your mother must have
been a very forgiving woman.

Oh.

I got a million things to do
before Big Daddy gets here.

I have to go pick up his favorite
food and his favorite brandy and cigars.

I want him to
feel right at home.

Then get the Millers
across the street

to tar and feather
their lawn jockey.

I'm going to go out
on the lanai for awhile.

The air's always so nice
and fresh after a storm.

As long as you're out there, Rose,
why don't you pull some weeds?

OK.

Ma, yesterday, you said you
were gonna pull the weeds.

I said I'd get it done and it's
getting done, so lighten up.

Dorothy, Sophia, come quick.

Oh, my God.

The storm must have
knocked it down last night.

Good morning, ladies.

Morning, Mr. Barton.
Good morning, Mr. Barton.

Well, looks like you
had a little bad luck here.

Boy, we certainly did.
Any damage to your place?

Nope. Not a scratch.

Oh, thank goodness.

If the wind had been blowing
in the opposite direction,

your tree could have
fallen into your living room.

What do you mean, my tree?

She means your tree
because it was on your property.

No way, lady. This is your tree.

It's your responsibility.

Oh, my goodness. Our
tree fell into your yard.

Clam up, Gladys.
This is their tree.

Look, there seems to be some
confusion here, but we are neighbors.

What do you say we split the cost
and have the tree hauled away?

What do you say you have
it hauled away, and I'll split.

That does it. You
don't have any choice.

You're hauling that
tree away, capisce?

You Italians have
got some temper.

You Italians?

With disdain in
his voice, he said it.

Now you're going to pay.

What are you doing?

That's the Evil Eye. I put
a Sicilian curse on you.

You're not gonna
have a moment's peace

till you haul that tree away.

You got me shaking
in my boots. Come on.

Oh, Ma, why'd you do that?

You just made matters worse
with that ridiculous curse.

Ridiculous? The curse works,
believe me. I've used it before.

Oh, when?

Baltimore Colts,
New York Jets, 1969.

Draw your own conclusions.

Ah, great news.

I stopped by the courthouse this
morning and got a copy of our property map.

The tree definitely belongs to Mr. Barton,
and it is his responsibility to remove it.

Play it safe. Stick
with the curse.

Oh, Ma, I've stayed
with you all these years.

Ladies, how do I look?

Like the night
hostess at Denny's.

This is exactly like the
dress I wore to my sweet 16.

It was always Big
Daddy's favorite.

Oh, there he is now.

Now listen, girls, my father is
an old-time Southern aristocrat

who is used to fine
manners and gentility.

So please, please, please
be on your best behavior.

Why is everyone looking at me?

Daddy.

Where's the old lady? Aha.

You looking for me, mouth?

Ma. I'm glad you're
here Mr. Barton.

I went down to the
courthouse this morning and...

This isn't a social call.

This morning,
when I got in my car,

somebody let the
air out of my tire.

I know she did it.

That's ridiculous.

If I catch her on my property,
I'm gonna have her arrested.

Mr. Barton, I assure you, my mother
had nothing to do with your tires.

It was just a coincidence.

Coincidence, my eye.

Now, about the tree.

I got a copy of our property map

at the courthouse this morning,

and as you can clearly
see, the tree is yours.

Ah. I'm not gonna move it,

not after what she did.

You have to.

Sue me. We will.

Fine.

Fine. That jerk!

Trying to intimidate us.
Just who does he think he is?

What is it, mouth?

Back home, most people
start off with, "How do?"

Daddy.

Baby girl. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Looking at you
takes my breath away.

Hair as shiny as the dew
on a field of sunflowers,

eyes that sparkle bluer
than the Mississippi

and the prettiest smile

on either side of the
Mason-Dixon line.

Didn't I tell you my daddy was
the smartest man who ever lived?

You must be Sophia. It's
a pleasure to meet you.

Excuse me for staring,
ma'am, but I've always felt

that the stunning, classical
beauty of an I-talian woman

should be admired
like a fine work of art.

You need boots
to listen to this guy.

Daddy, I want you to meet
my best friends. This is Rose.

Charmed.

Hello. How do you do?

Has anyone ever told you

you are the spitting image
of Miss Dinah Shore?

No. Oh, you're putting me on.

Of course he is.

And, Daddy, this is Dorothy.

I'm sorry. I hope I
didn't offend you.

No harm done, darlin'. Now, I want
you to promise me you won't fret none.

Well, I would, except I'm not
exactly sure what "fret none" is.

Oh, Daddy, I'm
so glad to see you.

Get on over here and sit down.

I can't stay, honey. I got
some business to attend to.

Oh.

But I'll be back later tonight.
I got a surprise for you.

Oh, did you get me something?

What is it, what did
you buy for me, Daddy?

Well, nothin', sugar.

Oh, fiddle-dee-dee.

"Fiddle-dee-dee"?

This is so much fun. It's like
being in Gone with the Wind.

Well, then, what is
the surprise, Daddy?

Well, I was gonna save
it, but what the heck.

I'm singing at the Sagebrush
Club tomorrow night.

You're doing what?

I'm singing. That's my surprise.

And I want you and your
friends to come as my guests.

But why?

Because, darlin', I
thought they might enjoy it.

No, no. I mean
why are you singing?

It's my calling.
It's what I do now.

I'll explain it
all to you later.

Right now, I got to head over
to the club and check things out.

But, but, Daddy...

Leave the key under the
mat. Ladies, see y'all later.

I can't believe it.

Neither can I. Free tickets.

No, I'm talking about my daddy.

Why, this singing thing
doesn't make any sense.

You know, I'm worried about him.

Maybe I ought to
go call my sisters.

Oh, come on, Blanche.
You're overreacting.

If you're really concerned,
why don't you talk to him?

You're right. That's
what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna stay completely
objective and keep an open mind.

I'm sure there's some
perfectly logical explanation

why my daddy's

lost the stuffing
out of his comforter.

Oh, sorry, darlin'. I
didn't mean to wake you.

Well, that's all right.
I waited up for you.

I'm glad you did.

I've been working on a new
song, and I want you to hear it.

Listen, Daddy, I want to
talk to you about this singing.

It's been just wonderful,
honey. I love singing.

I know I'm just getting
started and I got a lot to learn,

but the audiences will
come around. I'll do just fine.

You know, you're talking about this
singing like it's some kind of career.

Well, it is. Now see
what you think of this.

♪ Folks say I should settle down

♪ And make an honest living

♪ But I just want
to sing my songs

♪ I got a lot to give 'em

♪ Give 'em... mm...

This part needs a little work.
And then now here's the chorus.

♪ It ain't gonna
worry me for long

♪ It ain't gonna
worry me for long

♪ I'll get up in the mornin'

♪ And I'll still be
singin' my song ♪

No, you won't, Daddy. Now put
that guitar down. I want to talk to you.

What's the matter?

Well, I don't know what's gotten
into you. Daddy, you're no singer.

I know I'm no Hank
Williams yet, but...

No, that's not what I meant.

I mean, at your age,
just out of nowhere

to decide you're gonna go off
and perform in some honky-tonk?

I don't know about you,

but that sounds
pretty crazy to me.

Now don't you sass me, missy.

No, I don't mean
to sass you, Daddy.

It's just that I'm
concerned about you.

Now I want you to promise me that you're
going to forget all about this nonsense

and go back to Twin Oaks
and have a nice, long rest.

There's no Twin Oaks
to go back to. I sold it.

You what?

Sold it. Sold everything.

Well, now, if I'm gonna
go out on the road

and do this thing
right, I need money.

All right, this has
gone far enough.

I will not allow you to
disgrace yourself or your family.

I absolutely forbid you to go on with
this foolishness one minute longer.

You forbid Big Daddy? You're
the one's gone crazy, girl.

I'm sorry you had to
witness this spectacle, ladies.

My apologies.

Oh, Big Daddy, wait.

Too late.

You know, if there was
some rain coming down

and a soft train
whistle in the distance,

this moment would
have the makings

of a first-rate country song.

Bye, Blanche.

Oh, I feel awful, just awful.

I shouldn't have lost
my temper that way.

Honey, you were upset.

That's no excuse. Daddy obviously
doesn't know what he's doing.

He's lost his grip on reality.

Oh, honey. Maybe it's
not as serious as you think.

Maybe he's just
going through a stage.

My father is not off on
some crazy lark, Dorothy.

He sold our house and our land

and everything he
spent his lifetime building.

He needs help.

I never thought this
could happen to my father.

Other people's parents get old and
grow frail and need taking care of,

but somehow I'd always thought
Big Daddy would go on forever.

Honey, we all think
of our fathers that way.

We remember them as
strong and handsome and wise.

When I think of my father, I always picture
him pulling a giant tuna up Main Street.

Well, who doesn't, Rose?

Oh, it wasn't a real tuna. It
was made of chrysanthemums.

It was the float in the
Founder's Day Parade.

You probably don't know this,

but my home town was founded
by Heinrich von Anderdonnen.

The first man to ever can
tuna in its own natural juices.

Anyway, it was the 50th-anniversary
celebration of the founding of our town,

and my father was
chosen to pull the float.

He thought it was 'cause
he had the newest tractor,

but, actually, it was 'cause he
was the only one small enough

to fit into the
mayonnaise jar costume.

Oh, I'll never forget the
moment we caught sight of him,

turning off of
Sycamore onto Elm.

Something must have
happened to the tractor,

'cause there he was,

this lone little mayonnaise jar

dragging this giant
tuna up the hill

and past the reviewing stand.

I don't think I've ever
been prouder in my life.

That's very touching, Rose.

It shouldn't be, but it is.

You know, when I
think of my father,

I don't remember
just one incident.

I just know that he
was always there

to take care of me
whenever I got into trouble,

which was all the time.

I just never dreamed
that the day would come

when the tables would turn
and I'd have to take care of him.

But I guess it has.

Sophia, why don't
you come with us?

It might be fun to hear
Blanche's father sing.

To you, Rose, but what do
you know about a good time?

Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Barton.
What can I do for you?

I want to see the witch.

Leonard... don't
call her a witch.

You'll get another
boil on your butt.

Tell the world, Gladys.

Look, you've won.

I'm begging you, take
off the curse, will you?

My golf clubs are missing,
my clocks are all wrong,

I can't sleep, I can't eat.

You can't sit.

That, too. Please take it off.

Move the tree.

It'll be out of here tomorrow.

You got a deal.

Does that mean it's gone?

That means I shouldn't
eat asparagus at dinner.

Oh.

That means it's gone.

Let's get out of here, Gladys.

I'll be right there.

I just wanted to
apologize to you ladies.

Leonard has been just terrible
about this whole situation.

That's why I did all
those things to him.

Oh.

It was you all along.

Except for the boil.
That was just luck.

Gladys, we've got to go.

Listen, ladies, if
there's anything that I

can do for you to
improve our relationship,

I'd be happy to oblige.

There is one small thing.

In the morning,

when you go out in your robe
to pick up the newspaper...

wear your shorts.

I've never been
in a place like this.

Are these all real cowboys?

Of course, Rose.

You can tell because
they wear cowboy hats

and drink wine spritzers
and drive Volvos.

Uh, Blanche, who do
we see about our table?

Oh, I don't know. This is the
first time I've ever been here.

Well, howdy, Blanche.

Hi there, Blanche. Ladies.

No, I'm wrong.

I think the museum did
have its Christmas party here.

What's that noise?

Oh, they have a mechanical
bull in the backroom.

I read about it in the
Sunday supplement.

What on earth do you
do with a mechanical bull?

Introduce him to a
mechanical cow, Rose.

Uh, excuse me.

We're supposed to have
reservations for the second show.

The name's Devereaux.

OK, let's see. Uh, mm-mmm.

I'm sorry. I don't seem
to have you listed.

Oh, well, maybe it's under
the name of Hollingsworth.

Hollingsworth? Mm-hmm.

Uh, you're not here to see
Big Daddy Hollingsworth?

Yes, we are.

I'm sorry, you just missed him.

But we thought the second
show doesn't start until nine.

It doesn't. But after the first show,
the management cancelled his booking.

Oh.

I was afraid that would happen.
Do you know where he went?

I guess he's
backstage somewhere.

You go on, honey. Talk
to him. We'll wait right here.

Thank you.

Howdy, ladies. My name's Rusty.

I don't recollect seeing you
two fillies 'round these parts.

Mind if a lonesome cowboy

puts his saddlebags
'round your campfire?

Give us a break, would you, mac?

Howdy, ma'am. My name's Rusty.

Daddy.

Sugar. I didn't expect
to see you here.

Daddy, I heard what happened,
and I'm so sorry, I truly am.

Oh, don't worry.
It's my own fault.

If I wasn't such a
stubborn old fool...

Now don't be hard on yourself.

It's true. I never should
have tried that Beatle medley.

Next time, I'm gonna stick
with the material I know.

You mean you intend
to go on with this?

Why not?

Honey, because they didn't
like you. That's why not.

You weren't any good.

Honey, I know I'm not any good.

Then I don't understand.

What?

Well, I don't understand

how the man I have admired
and respected all my life

can turn himself into a clown.

Blanche, honey,
ever since I was a boy,

I've never been satisfied
with what was easy.

I always wanted to try
new things, see new places.

But before I had a chance to do
something like hop a tramp steamer,

I met up with a lady by the
name of Elizabeth Ann Bennett.

She had the cutest little smile,

tiniest button nose

and the most incredible
blue eyes I have ever seen.

Those are the things
you inherited from her.

And when I looked
into those eyes,

they told me it was not time
to go off chasing rainbows.

It was time to make
a life for the two of us.

And I never regretted
that decision,

because I knew that someday,

we'd go off chasing
those rainbows together.

But when the time finally came,

all that was left was
a big, empty house

and the headstone
that marks her grave.

And I decided that,

before it was time for
us to be together again,

I was gonna go off
and have that adventure.

Now, granted, this
is no tramp steamer,

but it's something, something
I've always wanted to do.

And, sugar, I think that
now is finally the time to do it.

But why didn't you
tell me that before?

I didn't think I needed to.

I figured if I was happy,
you were happy, too.

Oh, Daddy. I'm so sorry.

You've always been there for
me. I should've been there for you.

And you think you
can ever forgive me?

Darlin', life's too short

to not forgive my
favorite little girl.

I love you.

I love you, too.

♪ It ain't gonna
worry me for long

♪ It ain't gonna
worry me for long

♪ I'll get up in the morning

♪ And I'll still be
singing my song ♪