The Goldbergs (2013–…): Season 10, Episode 21 - Push It - full transcript

Things are finally working out for Adam, that is until he receives a letter from NYU that could change everything; when Barry hears the JTP have other friends outside their crew, he fears the end of their posse as they know it.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Back in the
'80s, I wasn't exactly

the coolest kid on the block.

Oh, damn it!

But that didn't stop me from
being a bona fide ladies' man,

from puppy love with Dana
to nerd love with Jackie,

and, of course, high
school love with Brea Bee.

But these days, it was
real love with Carmen.

We were adults in an
adult relationship,

and that meant one thing.


It was a brand-new
chapter for me.

Everything now somehow
felt different.

Almost like I was floating.

Man, what a feeling.

The kind that left
me with nothing to do

but bust a sweet little move.

Salt-N-Pepa's here?

You've only heard the
song on the radio,

so, sure, we could be them.

♪ Push it good ♪

♪ Ah, push it ♪

♪ Push it real good ♪

This was what
that morning felt like,

a chance to let it
all out and sing.

♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪

♪ Baby, baby ♪

♪ Ooh, baby, baby ♪

♪ B-Baby, baby ♪

Oh, my, aren't you
in a good mood.

I wish I had been there to share
whatever made you this happy.

Glad you weren't!

♪ Get up on this ♪

Look at him go.

♪ Get up on this ♪

Yep, I was
on top of the world.

And nothing could bring me down.

- Aw!
- ♪ Get up on this ♪

Adam! I'll join you.

What? No!

Just let me have this moment
alone with Salt-N-Pepa!

Uh, my two favorite spices

behind butter,
cheese, and ketchup?

I don't think so.

♪ Ooh, Schmoopie Poopie ♪

♪ Ooh, Schmoopie Poopie ♪

♪ Give up a kiss ♪

How did one
of the best days of my life

turn out so badly?

You seem taller somehow.

My little baby's growing up.


♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪

♪ But nonetheless I
feel the need to say ♪

♪ I don't know the future ♪

♪ But the past keeps
getting Clearer every day ♪

It was football
Sunday, 1980-something.

Barry and the JTP were
watching their beloved Eagles.

Or, more specifically,
they were watching them

on the stadium's jumbotron.

A giant TV in the stadium?

future is here, boys.

If it wasn't for the guy
who almost puked on my back,

I'd feel like I was
in my own living room.

My favorite part
is the Kiss Cam.

Philadelphians are not afraid
to show their affection

for their team or each other.

You know what would be cute?

- A Baby Cam.
- Oh, here we go.

Oh, you're a dad now?

Come on, like, a giant photo
of Muriel with 10-foot dimples?

Tell me you wouldn't nom-nom
that , holmes.

You can't make it cool just
by saying it like that, bro.

Philly, it's time to find

the biggest Eagles fans here!

- Places!
- Get ready to be famous!

I've waited my whole lifetime
for this, so, clearly,

I should have bigger goals.

One, two, three!

- Eagles!
- Fans out there.

Who could it be?

Eagles superfans, where you at?

"GALS"? What the hell?

Where are all the E's?

Matt was supposed to bring them.

Yeah, but when Matt
couldn't make it,

Geoff was supposed to do it.

I brought the seat pads so that

we could sit on something
soft and pillowy.

No one asked you to do that.

Oh, I'm sorry, now
I'm the bad guy

because I care about my
friends' bottom comfort?

Looks like we found
our superfans!

My God.

Is that Matt Bradley?

Wait, so
he's notat work?

And he's with other dudes?

Who aren't us.

I mean, that's...
That's not us, right?

Stop waving like a buffoon.

It's clearly not us.

Well, I know. What
if there's a delay?

There's no delay!

But there's clearly a traitor.

Matt couldn't hide,

my love for Carmen
was out in the open.

Hello, beautiful
sister and niece.

Hello, stylish
refrigerator by Kenmore.

And hello, shiny bowl of apples.

May you fill my body
with sweetness and fiber.

Stop. Muriel's little
brain is a sponge,

and I don't want her
soaking up your weirdness.

True love is like a
puzzle within a mystery

tucked inside a
hidden dimension.

People like yourself
can't see it.

I know what love is.

I'm a wife and a mother.

Oh, sweet, naive,
exhausted-looking Erica.

Those are job titles.

But one day, you'll
feel what I feel.

Thanks, friend.

Here's one more thing
for you to carry,

the knowledge that I've
never been happier.

And this apple.


What, your guy-who-still-
lives-at-home bill

is higher than usual?

NYU wants my housing deposit.

Oh, don't worry, Mom
will fork over the dough.

There'll be unsettling
strings attached,

but she'll pay.

It's not that.

I've been so living
in the blissful now

that I forgot about
the painful after-now

when Carmen and I will be apart.

That just might be
something you can't fix.

I can fix it.

What the hell, lady?
Is that a kabob skewer?

I call it a Ka-Bev.

And I'm not here to
startle, I'm here to help.

What's to help?

My relationship
is gonna be over!

Just like it was with
Brea, and Jackie, and Dana.

How have you had four solid
girlfriends in the last decade?

My incredibly lopsided
dating history

is not up for discussion!

Adam, ignore your
romantically-challenged sister.

Again, I'm married.

What if there was a way that Carmen
was with you in New York next year,

while I was also sometimes
nearby in a chic downtown loft?

Half of that, I
love. Keep going.

You just have to confidently
approach Carmen and say,

"Carmen, I want you
with me in New York.

I love you, and
you're coming."

Oh, so bold!

- Some would say aggressive.
- Trust me.

New York is littered
with '50s retro diners

looking for waitresses.

Why are you making so
much sense right now?

Because you desperately
want her to.

But the best part is,

you can finally get
everything you want.

Everything iswhat I want.

Thanks, Mama.


- Oh.
- Why are you so desperate to keep Carmen around?

My tiny boy can't date
New York City women.

They wear high heels in the
boardroom andthe bedroom.

They really don't.

Always dressed in black,

with their bagels
and progressive ideas

about how suburban moms shouldn't cut
in the bathroom line at a Broadway show.

Okay, I think I got enough.

Good luck messing
up Adam's love life.

Bye, crazy lady.

While my mom
tutored me on my love life,

Barry was ready to
school Matt Bradley.

Men, I have called this
emergency meeting of the JTP

because of the treacherous act
that was committed against us.

All I ask is that we talk
about this like adults.

- Of course. Hi-ya!
- Ow!

I'm sorry, okay?

Friends from work asked if
I wanted to go to the game

a couple weeks ago, and
I wanted to mix it up.

Andy, bring in the holy
text, the JTP charter.

♪ Omm ♪

Come on, man, we
wrote that years ago.


"We will neverhang
with outside friends,

especially girls."

- Aw.
- That's cute.

I'm married now.

And the punishment, you
have to kiss a worm.

I'm not doing that.

Then you are officially kicked out
of the Jenkintown Posse for life.

Turn in the Krazy Straw
I issued you on day one.

- I don't have it on me.
- What do you mean?

Okay, I-I find it
hard to believe

no one is speaking up right now,

so maybe Ishould.

- Please don't.
- Take one for the team, man.

Last week, during
our poker game,

Andy was at the movies
with his fencing pals.

- Fencing pals?
- Damn it!

Yes, Barry,
okay? I fence.

Like stolen goods?

Like the elegant
sport with swords.

Well, well.

Look at my little Musketeer.

But I'm not the only
one stepping out on you!

Naked Rob has got his
nude beach buddies.

- What?
- I met a like-minded group of guys last summer,

and we hang out a lot,
unencumbered by clothes.

I, for one, don't have
another friend group.

Finally. Thank you, Geoff.

Because Erica's my best friend.

- Ugh.
- So lame.

Now I'm madder!

Barry, just because we have other
friends who enrich our lives

doesn't mean the JTP
isn't still the JTP.

- He's right.
- We'll always be us.

What do we say, for
the next Eagles game,

we go and tailgate together,

just the original
crew, like old times?

Oh, we're gonna tailgate.

We're gonna tailgate in a way
none of you will ever forget.

- He just walked into the furnace room.
- Ow!

While Barry was
off to hatch a secret plan,

I was ready to put all my
cards on the table for Carmen.

There she is.

What Oh.

What has gotten into you?

- Four Yoo-hoos and the perfect idea.
- Tell me more.

Me, you, New York City.

Did you get Phantomtickets?

Next year, when I go off to NYU,
you're coming with me, baby!

Yeah, I don't know.

I do. Jump on this
rocket and ride it, baby!

My first concern is you're
calling me "baby" a lot.

Second, my whole life is here.

My family, my home, my job.

Your job?

There's probably a
million places in New York

where you can dress
up and serve people.

They're probably not all
eating establishments,

but we'll do our homework.

Oh, my God.

"Oh, my God," you can't wait

for our exciting, new
adventure together?

Here's an answer, baby. No.

What just happened?

I'll tell you what
happened, Goldnerd.

God finally noticed you keep
getting smoking-hot girlfriends

and decided to restore
the natural order.

Yeah, when you punch
above your weight,

eventually, you get knocked out.

Take it from someone who
punches people all the time.

It just all made so much
sense when my mom said it.

Your mom?

- Oh, no.
- I know, I know.

But this time, it
really felt like

she had my best
interest at heart.

Ugh. Balls.

to teach the JTP a lesson,

Barry went to the
wisest/nearest person he knew.

Babe, I need new friends.

Nice. You're finally
open to the idea

of expanding your
social circle. Love it.

Now, how does one make friends?

I guess you could make a
list of the things you like

and find people who
share those interests.

Like the Asian battle arts.

As a very early starting point
that you ultimately realize

was a misstep, sure.

Damn it.

That would never work.

My natural instincts
would kick in,

and I would destroy
any potential bestie

with my elbows and feet.

Here's an idea.
Don't hurt anyone.

Or maybe this unnamed
stranger would respect me more

because, despite all we share,

I wasn't afraid to pummel
him to the edge of death.

I don't feel like I'm helping.

And yet, you have.

Here I go, off to brutalize
my new best friends!

So Barry ventured
out into the world

to find replacements
for the JTP.

Ah, basketball.

The sport of friendship.

Swish, baby!

Okay, so my brother had
his work cut out for him.

- Psst! Raj.
- Shh!

I'm not giving you the answers.

The only answer I want is,
yes, you'll be my best friend.

Oh, then it's a "no."

But we have
everything in common!

We're both gonna be doctors.

I mean, you probably won't,

because your answers
are super wrong.

I hate you so much.

This fight is so us.

Soon, Barry
became so desperate,

he started to see the
possibility of friendship

in the most unlikely places.

Hello, friend. Do you
have a second to talk?

Friend, you say?

I got a lifetime.

Get on in here.
Let's get messy.

Yep, Barry's friend hunt
wasn't getting any easier.

Meanwhile, my mom was busy

entertaining pals
at afternoon tea.

Isn't tea time nice?

And who doesn't love
tiny sandwiches?

I feel
like Andre the Giant.

Such a strong and impressive man

with many health issues.

The heart struggles to pump
blood through a body that large.

So, is it just us
and John today?

I'm afraid so.

- You.
- What is it, Schmoo?

- You.
- This happens a lot.

He gets so excited about
how much he loves me,

he can't get the words out.

Every single relationship
I've ever had, you've ruined!

- So, still just the three of us.
- This is insane.

I've never overstepped
in his romantic life.


If anything, I've made
his relationships better.


Instead of yelling at me, he
should be drowning me in kisses.

- Uh...
- Alright.

Enough with the musical scale.

Just use your words.

Even as the most casual observer
of young Adam's dating life,

you've been... How
do I put this gently?

A love-squeezing anaconda

snuffing out his last
breath of happiness?

I was in the area of
a bulldozer of carnage

driven by Satan in a hard hat.

It's playful and evocative.

Well, aren't you both clever.

In fact, why don't you wrap up
your little sandwiches

and get the out?

This can't be a surprise to you.

You have been despicable
to Jackie and Dana

and, more recently, Brea Bee.

Don't you seem to have
quite the instant recall

on Adam's former flames.

As the William Penn
guidance counselor,

I find it essential
to obsessively follow

the romantic comings and
goings of every student.

So, that's actually
far more disturbing

than Beverly's dumb thing.

Thank you, Ginzy.

And now, I am gonna go prove

that I made his
relationships better.

I don't think that our plan to
do this weekly is gonna stick.

And so my mom took a
trip down memory lane

to interrogate each
of my past loves.

Excuse me, anonymous
coffee lady.

Jackie! Is that you?

- Hello?
- Is that Dana Caldwell?

Oh! What a crazy coincidence.

Brea Bee!

Let's cut to the chase.

How helpful was I in your
relationship with my son?

On a scale of one to ten?

Definitely helpful in learning

what I would never
tolerate again.

Does negative seven make sense?

Let me rephrase.

I made your relationship
with my son better, right?

You're a funny lady, Mrs. G.

You seem to enjoy being
an overbearing nightmare.

Do you know how hard it is to be
in a relationship with someone

and there's this
third person who's...

- Difficult.
- Controlling.


- Manipulative.
- And terrifying.

Not having to deal with you
has been truly incredible.

My God, Adam has
terrible taste in women.

But maybe he was also right.

While my mom was floored
by what my exes revealed,

Barry had hit a wall in
his search for new friends.

Hey, babe. How was
the friend hunt?

Really bad.

Who knew finding another person
to immediately trust, respect,

- and connect with was so hard?
- Maybe everyone?

Luckily, I found someone
who'll always be there for me.

Oh, no. I'm out of
butterscotch drizzlecorn!

What can'tgo wrong today?

Did you eat that whole tub?

I'm so alone.

That was full when
I left this morning.

Why has God forsaken me with
only good looks and intelligence?

That's like three gallons
of sugar and salt.

I'll never make
another friend again.


You have more friends
than you know.

Despite our great rapport,

my relationship with
the annoyed woman

at Foot Locker was
purely transactional.

Plus, it could never work.

I have a natural inclination
to yell at referees.

No! Remember when you were
secretly watching sports

and weirdly holding
hands with Bill Lewis?

I have a rich and varied life
filled with bizarre adventures.

And remember when Mrs. Kremp
put you in the floral fridge

and now you have
coffee sometimes?

Again, my exploits are renowned

for their offbeat and
fantastical nature.

And don't you constantly
go to Mr. Glascott

for advice so personal

that he cries and
begs you to stop?

Yeah, but he's the neighborhood's
guidance counselor.

He's not, mostly because
that's not a thing.

He's just your friend.

I have friends?

I have friends.

I... have... friends!

Now you can relax and bring
the JTP back into your life.

Or I have the perfect crew
to throw in their dumb faces!

As Barry knew exactly what he
had to do to punish the JTP,

my mom was ready to accept
a punishment of her own.

Here's my letter of resignation.

I have clearly
failed as a mother.

This shouldn't be at all
unnecessarily dramatic.

As hard as it is for
me to admit, I, uh...

I have interfered too
much in your love life.

Gorgeous people make
mistakes, too. I'm sorry.

It happened.

She admitted she was wrong.

I finally won!

Yeah, I have a feeling this is gonna
turn on you pretty quickly, buddy.

It's hard to say who revealed
my short-comings first,

Dana, Jackie, or Brea.

Faster than I thought.

You talked to my ex-girlfriends?

How else was I going to
determine whether or not

you were right about me
overstepping into your love life

if I didn't interrogate your
exes where they live and work?

You are unbelievable.

This will never be our dynamic.

You know, unless you try
to pull away from me.

The point is, you're right.

I am the worst.

Damn straight!

I'll be in my room inhaling the
scent of your toddler pajamas

until you're ready
to speak to me again.

You're gonna be
breathing in those R2-D2s

for a long time, lady.

Can you believe her?

The important thing is,

she admitted that this
was all her fault.

I got some bad news
for you. It isn't.

Don't get me wrong,
Mom's nutso-butso,

but you're to blame.


But that's, like... me.

Despite your ample
toy collection,

you're not a kid anymore.

You can't just do
everything Mom says

and then blame her when
it doesn't work out.

Mom is who she is.

You need to decide who you are

and then start taking some
responsibility for it.

It was the day
of the big Eagles tailgate,

and it looked like
Barry was a no-show.

At least, until this.

Uh, guys?

JTP, meet my new and
primary friend group.

Your friend group has
quite the age range, Bar.

For my real friends here,

age is just an
extremely high number.

These old misfits
and I share a history

that bonds us like no other.

Barry, I'm confused.

I thought you were taking me to
an Eagles-themed gospel brunch

for my half-birthday.

Anyway, JTP, look out for
our boundless affection

on the jumbotron.

Unlikely posse, let's
go find our seats.

Flattered as I am, I
don't know if I can commit

to a friend group.

I prefer to bask in the glow
of one mon amiat a time.

And I've held my
tongue long enough,

but I would never join a friend
group that included Bill Lewis.

Oh, here we go.

Let the crazy lady
say her crazy words.

The only thing crazy
was the tilework you did

in my powder room.

I tried to talk you out
of that faux limestone,

but someone puts way too much
of a premium on slip-resistance.

Is it possible to start a
correspondence friends group

where we all keep in
touch by writing letters?

And I know it was
you that complained

to the Homeowners' Association
about my garden gnomes.

Also, FYI, I have a
sourdough proofing at home.

Too bad! We're best friends,

which means we do
everything together.

Now, shut up and gel.

I have to admit, I am starting
to feel a real closeness.

See? Odd Mr. Glascott gets it.

The gnomes were creepy!

They're the small but jaunty
guardians of my azaleas.

You have no whimsy,
Virginia Kremp!

Look at this
give and take, JTP.

It's okay to feel jealous.

Let it all out.

Let out our confusion?

I'm jealous of anyone who
understands what's going on.

No whimsy!

Bill, no! We come
and go as one!

I've stood by when
people have called me

pinched, dull, and forgettable.

But "no whimsy"?

That is a bridge too far!

You too, Ginzy?

You're the glue!

Well, my sourdough awaits.


Okay, JTP, you win.

It doesn't feel like anyone
won whatever this was.

I just don't get it.

You guys have always
been enough for me.

Why am I not enough for you?

You've got a girlfriend, man.

Do you have any idea how
bad I want one of those?

I mean, I like my nude dudes,

but I was kinda hoping
some ladies would join us.

And I don't talk about it much,
but I get a lot of action.

But we're not going
anywhere, Bar,

because we're more than friends.

We're family.

And we can never break apart,
because we have you, Bar.

You're the glue that's held
us together all these years.

So, I'm like the Ginzy of my
new group, but of this group?

Yeah, sure, if you
wanna put it like that.

Thanks, guys.

JTP for life!

JTP for life!

As Barry got the win he wanted,

the only thing I wanted
was not to lose Carmen.

Carmen, I'm sorry.

I got crazy with the possibility

of you coming to
New York with me.

But I understand that
you have a life here,

and you should do
what's best for you.

Thank you.

I do have a life here,
and it includes you.

I just don't know if it
includes New York yet,

so let's just take
it one day at a time.

For you, I'd do anything.

♪ I will follow you
Will you follow me? ♪

♪ Just one single tear ♪

Relationships can be tricky,

whether they're new or the
ones you've had forever.


- Yeah!
- Yeah!

And when we
occasionally fumble...

- Oh!
- Oh!

It's great to have your squad
there to pick you right back up.

But even when your
team is the best,

sometimes you just
have to take the ball

and run with it on your own.

♪ Follow me... ♪

What was that for?

Just 'cause I love you.

♪ ...know will be ♪

♪ I will stay with you ♪

Because when we're surrounded

by the people who do
nothing but love us,

we become a team that
everyone can root for.

- Hi, Adam.
- There he is.

The reason
we're all here.

What is happening right now?

What's happening
is I've made peace

with all your former sweeties.

Turns out, voicing all
the horrible things

she did has, uh,
cleared the air.

- The pushiness.
- The overstepping.

The overwhelming
torrent of guilt.

Okay, ladies, I
think he gets it.

And now we're going to lunch.

-You know what? I'm going, too.


I have some things I'd love to
say to you, as well, Beverly.


Let's order wine.

That'll really open
the floodgates, huh?