The Goldbergs (2013–…): Season 10, Episode 1 - Episode #10.1 - full transcript

Back in the '80s,
every summer seemed to zoom by,

especially the last one
before I went off to college.

It was a whirlwind of change.

First, my sister Erica
was pregnant,

so she and Geoff moved home

because they were gonna need
a lot of help.

gonna be a grandma! Whoo-hoo!

And my brother Barry
got into medical school.

I'm basically a doctor!

But unlike most doctors,

he decided the best prescription was to
move back into his childhood bedroom...


...and invite his buddies over to
destroy our house on a daily basis.

Even my grandfather, Pop-Pop,
decided to crash in our basement,

shortly after he burned down his
own apartment by overcooking beans.

I overcooked the beans.

As for me, I was never more
ready to escape to college.


Yep, life moves fast,

sometimes too fast,

because that year,

there was one change
that made everything stop.

Just a few months ago,

out of nowhere,

we lost my dad.

We will always love you, Dad.


And we'll find a way
to continue on together,

because after all,

we're the Goldbergs.

It was September
21st, 1980-something,

and my sister Erica
and her husband Geoff

were preparing for a baby.

Will you stop grinning so much?

It's distracting me from
the Phillies blowing this game.

I'm just learning so much
from this best-selling book

about the miracle
of childbirth...

What to Expect
When You're Expecting.

The only thing a man

should expect is gallstones.

Oh, there's the glowing


Come on. I look like crap.

You're creating life.

You look like

God's perfect angel.

I'm in sweats stained with

three different kinds of ranch.

- Three?
- I'm pregnant! Leave me alone!

Yeah. No. It's good.

That's a fun peek behind
your marriage curtain.

Look what I brought
for the baby.

Does it come in large?

Well, the giraffe

is a quiet animal.

I thought that would be

a good thing for this household.

We got no room
for your oversized crap, lady!

Mrs. Kremp,
you know my grandpa.

Yes, Murray's eulogy
was very short.

You know what's not short?
That long-necked horse.

Why don't you saddle it up
and ride it on out of here?

Pop-Pop's right.

This house has too many
people and things,

and we're supposed to just add

another human being

to this chaos?

Oh, Erica, don't spin out.

It's all too much.

Yesterday, I almost tripped
over Barry's nunchucks.

He leaves several pairs
lying around

"in case of ninja attack."

I can't live like this!

We need to get
rid of everything!

Starting with the
neighbor lady in the door.

So, Ben, you're...

You're living here now?

Is that something
that's happening?

Erica, you're ready to nest.

"Nesting during pregnancy
is the overwhelming desire

to organize your home
for the new baby."

We've got to prepare our nest.

If by we, you mean me
and my mom, then yes.

I'm kind of a part of it.

There she is.

The oven that's baking
my delicious grandchild.

Don't love the greeting,
but I need you.

Of course you do.

I'm the most important person
in your life.

And soon, your baby's life.

What a fun and totally insane
way of looking at it.

Wait, are you bedazzling
disposable diapers?

"Schmoopy's Poopies."

Normally, I would say
whatever keeps you busy,

but I need help
cleaning up the house.

The day has come.

I'm passing down
the vacuum to you.

Now, the first lesson

is to pretend

the carpet is a maze.

No. Yuck. Never.

Do you know what "nesting" is?

News flash.

Like a blond kangaroo,

I pushed three perfect babies
out of my...

- I'm in the room.
- ...warm...

- Please stop there.
- ...mama pouch.

That's not even how
a kangaroo gives birth.

So, you'll help us organize
the house and build our nest?

Of course I will,
because guess what?

I'm suddenly nesting, too.

Is there room

for a gentleman bird?

Geoff, you gotta stop making
everything so weird.

All right? Let's go.

As my mom and sister
were getting ready for a big clean,

Barry was cleaning us out
of my favorite breakfast food.

Did you nab the free toy
inside my cereal?


The early worm catches the
cheap, plastic promotional coin purse.

You won't even enjoy it!

The knowledge that
you can't is enjoyment enough.

Big news, my special boys.

Barry's gonna move into
an apartment

near his medical school
like a human adult?

I told you,

I'm here to support our mother

who lost her life partner.

- Aw.
- No.

- You just forgot to fill out your housing forms.
- Aw.

Stop listening to my conversations
with myself in the mirror.

Well, while you're both
still here,

we're gonna need
to do some consolidating.

On it! Also, on what?

Barry, your room is right
across from Geoff and Erica's.

We're gonna need to take it
for the baby's nursery.

Ha! In your face!

Pop-Pop has the basement.
Where am I gonna sleep?

Well, there is, uh, one place.

Oh, no.

Yes, you two are gonna
share a bedroom.

Yay! It's already been
decided and everybody's happy,

'cause who would question
their grieving mother?

In your face.

You know what? Fine. I leave
in two weeks. I can handle it.

But I couldn't,

because two men sharing a room soon regressed
to two boys sharing a butt on a head.

Oh, no!

- Barry played all the hits like the atomic wedgie.
- No, no!

Classics never go out of style!

- Jocks-y-gen mask!
- No! No! No!

- So warm and unwelcome.
- Breathe deeply.

- No!
- Yep, everything was pure torture.

Nothing was worse
than his taste in movies.

What are you watching?

Field of Dreams.

Finest sports movie ever made.

So much Costner.

I can't live like this!

- Ugh!
- Shut it.


- So I turned to the one man who had lived like this...
- Testing. Testing.

- ...Barry's old roommate Geoff Schwartz.
- Testing. Testing.

- How did you survive sleeping in the same room as Barry?
- Testing.

Well, first of all,
good morning.

Pleasantries set the mood
for the day.

And with Barry, there's really
only one way to stop him.

You got to fight fire with fire.

But you're the nice guy.

I can't imagine you
fighting fire at all.

Just know, when pushed,
I'm capable of anything.


Hey, check out
this sweet baby monitor.

Test, test.

I'm saying words over here
and they're coming out over here!

That's it!

I'm gonna Field of Dreams Barry

with your dumb baby

Your words make no sense,
but I'm glad I could help.

You break those,
we got a problem.


And Barry fell for that?

He did, yeah.

- These are mine now.
- Okay.

While I was preparing
to use Geoff's baby gift against Barry,

my mom was showing off
her gift for organizing.

Okay, this is for Goodwill. Be
sure to get a receipt for my taxes.

No, Beverly, I came over to play
Mahjong, not run errands. What...

Is this my mixer?

I've asked for this back
several times.

All my summer pies
have been meringue-less!

Just so you know, it was
broken when you gave it to me.

Choo-choo! Baby gift train
heading to Closet Station.

You can turn that engine
into a caboose,

'cause this closet is full of hundreds
of Grammy-Baby matching jammies.

Um. One set seems like too many,
but, okay, we'll just use the hall closet.

No! No! No, no, no! Not the
closet! Not... Not the hall closet!

Mom, let me just open the door!

I said no.

I got your message, Bevy,
so I came over to lend a hand...

My God, it's like a shrine
to the Mur-man.

Whoa. There's like
ten yellow ones.

I always thought
it was just the one.

They hid so many mustard stains.

The label just says "Shirt."

And the size is, uh, "Man."

Okay, fine!
You all know my little secret!

I've saved my husband's
stain-and-wrinkle-resistant shirts. Are you happy?

Mom, I know it's tough,

but while we're cleaning, maybe you
should do some cleaning of your own?

Look, I meant to go through
all of his things, but...

...I just couldn't
bring myself to do it.

Maybe it's time.

Let's go get some boxes.

While my mom
was taking steps to heal,

I was ready to give Barry
a taste of his own medicine.

The hell is this?

I came down here to watch the Family
Feud guy kiss moms and daughters.

I'm about to teach Barry
a lesson.

The other end of this monitor
is under the couch in the den.

So is this gonna take
one minute or two?

I'll walk you through
every step.

That's not the answer
to the question I asked.

If you build it, he will come.

If you build it, he will come.

If you build it, he will come.

What was that?

Barry thinks he heard
something, but he's not quite sure.

If you build it, he will come.


It's gonna drive him insane.

- If who builds what now?
- No idea.

I haven't watched
the whole thing.

It's a movie about
corn and baseball.

If you build it, he will come.

Where is that coming from?

If you build it, he will come.

What do you want me to build?

- If you build it, he will come.
- Adam!


And right on cue.

Stop! Stop everything!

A mysterious voice
is trying to send me a message,

just like what happened to my body
twin, Kevin Costner, in Field of Dreams!

That seems incredibly likely.

What do you think it means?

It clearly means you should
spend all your energy on exploring it,

and none at all on torturing me.

Right. Right.

And that is how you
Field of Dreams someone.

I had a dream once,

but now in my 80s,
I sleep on the couch.

My plan to Field
of Dreams Barry was in full swing,

and I had hit it
out of the park.

What's the plan here, Big Tasty?

Yeah, why'd you ask me
to bring my can-do attitude

and "enough money
for three days"?

Am I gonna be in the sun long?

My milky fair skin
looks flawless,

but that's only because
I stay vigilant.

Gentlemen and Matt Bradley!

Today we fulfill our destiny,

to build a world-class Wiffle ball
field in my childhood backyard!

Fun. Just for
the love of the game?

That and for haunting reasons.

Good enough for me.
I'm already here.

- And so the JTP went to work.
- Get on it.

Rose bushes were ripped out,

grass was removed,

and then sloppily placed
in a different spot,

and then mowed unnecessarily.

- Get out the way!
- Whoa! Whoa!

There was even
a chainsaw involved.

Who knows how to work this?

Screw it!
I'll figure it out as I go!

While I was loving having
my room back to normal,

my mom was crushing
a room renovation of her own.

Ah! Ta-da! Ha!

132 square feet of snuggies
and future cuddlefests.

And if you're not here
to give those?

A Granny Bev doll.

Well, there may be a few
moments when I'm not in here, so...

Mom, I love it so much.
Thank you.

- Ohh.
- Although...

What? You don't like it?

Tell me now. I'll burn it down
and start anew.

No, no, it's beautiful.

It's just... I feel like
something might be a little off.

Like, maybe the crib should be
where the changing table is.

On it, my fickle treasure.

With that, Geoff got to work.

He pulled and shoved and rolled.

- Ah! Ahh! Ohh!
- Oh, the lamp!

Ooh. It's...
It's all good. It's easy.

- You know what? Swap it all.
- Mm-hmm.

Swap it all?

after all the schlepping...

...Geoff had failed miserably.

I know what it is.

We need a mobile for the baby.

Lou's spinster sister
sent us one.

My aunt, whom I love.

Super lady,
but she's got that mole.

Again, love her very much.

But she is unmarried
for a reason.

Let's go.

What happened to Dad's chair?

Remember the other day
when you convinced me

to let go of
your father's things?

I did.

You guys have a philodendron
back there!

What a fun surprise!

No, the surprise is that
Dad's chair is gone.

I'm getting the sense that even
though this was very much your idea,

now you're upset.

I didn't mean the chair.

Kinda feel like I'm gonna
throw up right now,

but it's probably
just the pregnancy

and not the visual reminder
of how permanent death is.

What the have I done?


Oh, I blame Geoff!

That feels right.


It's a new
Laura Ashley recliner!

It's a real beauty.
Test drove it myself.

Bill Lewis certified!


You get that piece of out
of my house, you monsters!

I told you to get it in blue.

My name is on the line here.

Okay. Well, we thought because
you gave away Murray's chair...

My husband's chair
had a name, Ginzy.

Mr. Chair!

I was there when he named it.

He had no passion
for creativity.

This is the worst thing
that's ever happened to me!

That seems way wrong,
considering this past year,

but maybe we can get it back?

Beverly, you'll be happy to know
that when I took it to Goodwill,

per your request,

they laughed at me, told
me to take it to the dumpster

and set it on fire.

But I did not do that. Mm-mm.

I left it on the curb.

- Our curb?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, Ginzy, God bless
your lack of follow-through.

The chair is on the curb!

I was about to rip
poor Ginzy's face off,

and it was here on the curb
the whole time!

But it wasn't.

Where's the chair, Ginzy?

Not entirely sure.

While my mom faced
the nightmare of losing my dad's chair,

Barry was living in a field
of dreams with the JTP.

There! All done.

Uh, Bar, it feels like the
lines are a little crooked.

Could be fun with crooked lines.

Yeah, the game
does need reinvention.

Damn it. You guys un-chalk it
while I go grab my mitt.

And if time permits, build me
a whimsical snack bar.

It feels like
time will not permit.

Who wears a mitt
for Wiffle ball?

He has a vision.

Country Time Lemonade,
my good men?

There's nothing I want more
than a tangy sip from the past,

but why are you being
so generous and upbeat?

'Cause I finally
out Barry-ed Barry.

He thinks it's his destiny
to build that field,

just like Kevin Costner
in Field of Dreams.

- Field of Dreams?
- What are you talking about?

I only know the book.

And so I explained
to the JTP what I'd done.

To my surprise,
they didn't love it.

How could you?

Your boyish face
belies a dark heart.

This is the first thing
that you tried?

It's a harmless prank.

Did we hit a genuine
pet cemetery down there?

Yeah. But we had fun.

Field of Dreams is about a man
who builds a baseball field

to have one last catch
with his dead father!

What? No!

He's just a delusional farmer
who hears voices

and ruins
his family's livelihood.

He plows that corn
to bring back the ghosts

of legendary baseball players
who missed out on their dreams,

allowing him to look further
into his own regrets.

And one of those regrets is
not connecting with his father.

"If you build it,
he will come."

The "he," in this case,
is his super-dead dad.

Real dead, dude.

Barry's secretly hoping
to see Dad one last time

and have a game of
catch the baseball.

Just catch.

At most, I thought
he'd make one phone call

to James Earl Jones
and call it a day.

It's the whole theme
of the movie.

Yeah, it's very in-your-face.

Also, he did call
James Earl Jones.

Turns out, I had gone
a step too far in pranking my brother.

Meanwhile, my mom was ready to go
to great lengths to find my dad's recliner.

Okay, the first 24 hours a chair
goes missing are the most crucial.

Bill, I want you
to take these flyers,

put them on every telephone
pole, tree, and bus stop in the city.

I'm on it.

Ginzy, I want you to follow every pickup
truck in town and peek into their homes.

If you get a positive ID,
do not call for backup.

Just go in alone.

I-I'm probably
just gonna ask around.

Good. Improvise.
Go where the chairs are.

Now, the three of us will split up
and begin our grid pattern search

of every den, basement,
and rec room in America.

Feels like
a lot of ground to cover.

I'm gonna cover you in ground
if you don't do what I say.

- Is that clear?
- Very.

Stop fighting her, Geoff,
and maybe we'll get lucky.

Oh, speaking of Lucky.

Take a good sniff, girl.
Breathe in Murray's essence.

Go find that chair.

Go, Lucky, go! Good Lucky!

And now we're missing a dog.

Office Puchinski. Finally!

We are missing a recliner.

Now, you call your police pals,

tell them to drop their donuts
and get over here!

I'm not doing that.

Officer down!
Requesting backup!

Look... Disregard that.

Look. Sorry, Deb. It's the lady
I always talk about.

I got a flyer right here,

Bill Lewis. Neighbor.
Part of the search party.

Rest assured I will sleep
until your chair is found.


It's okay, Mom.

Yeah, we'll keep looking.

Don't bother.

With my little
joke having gone off the rails,

my only choice
was to come clean to Barry.


But I went a different way.

I hope you guys are enjoying
your well-earned refreshments.

I'm not sure
why we're still here.

Your kindness feels like
there are strings attached.

This is definitely a trap.

Oh, no trap.

I just wanted to thank you guys

for showing me
the error of my ways.

Which reminds me, I have gifts.

Rob, is it just me, or would
the yellow of this shirt

really make the golden flecks
in your eyes pop?

Is that your dad's
shirt and pants?

Is it? Weird.

These are just some items
I found in our giveaway pile

that I couldn't help but think
would look great on you

as you stand in the shadows
and toss a ball to Barry.

Are you trying to make Rob
look like the ghost of your dad?

Ohh! So not cool, bro!

We have
very different body types.

You actually have
a very similar silhouette.

And there are no bad ideas.

Yes, there are, and this
is definitely one of them.

But I'm desperate here, man!

Barry will never forgive me
unless one of you guys

puts on these hideous duds and tosses a ball
to my brother under the veil of darkness!

I should've known.

There's the guy.

The strongest and most
forgiving man in the world.

Save it!
I heard the whole thing.

Nice prank, dude.

In that moment,
there was nothing I could say,

but Geoff and Erica were ready to
find the right words to say to my mom.

We just wanted to say
we're sorry.

Yeah, we never should've rushed
you to give away Dad's things.

I just miss him.

We all do.

Losing Dad is gonna hurt
for a long time.

But even if his things
aren't here anymore,

he's always gonna be
in our hearts,

chair or no chair.

And we have so much
to look forward to this year.

We really do.

Ben. Where did you...

Found it on the curb.

I couldn't stand the thought of
anyone else having the stupid thing.

Yeah, I threw on some gliders.

Thought maybe you could use it
to rock the baby.

Well, that is the single best
baby gift ever.

Now I know what was missing.

You're right.

This room is finally perfect.

Turns out the people we
say goodbye to never really leave us...

but that doesn't mean
we don't miss them.



Bar, I'm so sorry.

It's okay, AdRock.

Did you really think,
you know...

If I built it, he would come?

I knew it was crazy.

But do you ever look around
and see him in everything?

All the time.

He made us who we are.

Sometimes by not doing
anything at all.


He had a real hands-off
parenting style.

Unless he was calling us morons.

He did do that a lot.

Well, I'm glad I have a brother
like you to go through this with.

I wouldn't want anyone else.

Get in here.



I never thought
I'd say this in my life, but...

wanna have a catch?

Losing someone
is hard, but if you're lucky,

the people who love you
can step up to the plate

and make things a little easier.

Life is filled
with all kinds of changes...

but what we can count on is
that the legacy of those we've lost

lives on in all of us.

Generation after generation.

The only thing we can do
is take a seat and hold on.

- What the hell? Barry!
- No, no, hold up, hold up.

While the kid might've
destroyed your backyard,

he had a reason.

What possible reason
could he have?

Where the is my gazebo?

There was this movie called
Nightmare on Football Street.

That does not sound right.

Are you
gonna tell the story or am I?

So, there are these ghosts,
and they wanted to play ball

where all your fancy plants
used to be.

- Go on.
- Go on?

That's it.

Okay, there was a tree
right there.

And where is Lucky's dog house?

And where's Lucky?