The Ghost and Molly McGee (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 9 - All Shark, No Bite/Nin-Dependence - full transcript

(laughing maniacally)

- ♪ I can't believe you're all mine ♪
- Uh, what?

-♪ You and me for all time ♪
- Ugh!

♪ I'm never, ever, ever
gonna be alone again ♪

Oh, boy.

- ♪ The dream team you and me ♪
- For all eternity?

-♪ For all eternity! ♪
- Ahh!

♪ It's a ghost,
it's a ghost and Molly McGee ♪

♪ I've been cursed, it's the worst ♪

MOLLY: ♪ Now you're stuck with me ♪

♪ We're never gonna be apart ♪



-♪ Is there a way to hit restart? ♪
- Nope.

♪ We're the ghost, Ghost and Molly McGee ♪

- That's me!
- Well, that's she.

BOTH: ♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪

(gentle music playing)

Okay, the kids ate dinner.

There's a veggie tray in the fridge

if they need reinforcements.

The Chens are on standby,
just in case of emergency.

Mom, Dad, chill.

You're gonna be gone, what? Three hours?

Yeah. Go enjoy your date night,
you crazy kids.

I will hold down the fort here,

because Molly McGee
is an A-plus-plus babysitter,



and I got the Wilder Scout badge
to prove it.

It's true! She's great!

It's not that we don't
trust you, it's just...

you two tend to get into shenanigans

- when you're on your own.
- (scoffs)

Shenanigans?
That not gonna happen... again.

We're just gonna have a relaxing
evening at home.

Did you say "relaxing"?

Because I bought this expensive kit online

and have been saving it for a spa night.

So, go. Out, you two.

Shoo. The sooner you're gone,

the sooner we can break out
my new jade roller.

So cold, so refreshing.

- (car doors closes)
- MOLLY: They're in the car.

(car engine starts)

We have ignition.

And they're away!

Uh, what is going on here?

Shenanigans.

Tonight, we are watching

the most terrifying
horror movie ever made.

MOLLY: Fins of Fear.

BOTH: "If you see the fin,
you're fin-ished."

It's about a petty, vindictive ghost shark

who continues his killing spree
from beyond the grave.

A horror movie?

Pete and Sharon
let you watch those all the time.

Oh, but never anything like this.

It's rated T for "traumatizing."

But... but relaxing evening.

I already broke the seal
on the relaxation station.

Come on, we can have
a spa night any old time.

Mom and Dad are gone.

We got to seize this rare opportunity.

Whoa. Physical media?

You heard of this new thing
out called "streaming"?

Too risky. They can track
our viewing history.

We got to keep this watch...

off the record.

But we don't even have a DVD player.

Fine. But I'm watching
with a face mask on,

and no one can stop me.

(chilling music stinger)

(foreboding music playing)

FISHERMAN (on TV): You've eaten
every landlubber, Ghost Shark.

But I'll not go down without a fight.

(roars)

- You're so petty and vindictive!
- (jaws snap, bones crunch)

- (shark roars)
- (all scream)

That was...

a lot.

Why does a Ghost Shark
feel so much scarier

than a regular shark?

Because Ghost Shark doesn't play
by normal shark rules.

It could appear anywhere anytime.
(gasps)

(whispers)
Even on land.

(ominous music stinger)

Guys, Ghost Shark's not even real.

(blows raspberries)
How do you know?

Hello? Chairman of the Ghost World here.

I'm pretty sure
if there were a Ghost Shark,

I would have heard of it before.

Look, I'll prove it to you.

(clears throat)

(in distorted tone)
By the power of the Chairman

of the Ghost World...

(in normal tone)
...AKA, moi,

(in distorted tone)
...Ghost Shark, I summon thee!

Reveal yourself,

and our house shall be your sea!

(both gasp)

(in normal tone) Uh, anybody see
a Ghost Shark? No?

Well... I guess that proves it.
(laughs)

Can't believe we got so worked up
over a movie.

Now, what say we hit that veggie tray?

Pretty sure there are some cucumbers.

I'll need two for my eyes
and ten for my tummy.

(foreboding music stinger)

Ah!

Cool as a cucumber.

(laughs)

Word play.

(foreboding music stinger)

- (screams, cries)
- What? What is it? What happened?

Ah! A Ghost Shark!

- (all scream)
- You guys, uh...

You don't think that has
anything to do with me, do you?

Yes, Scratch!

You summoned him
with your Chairman powers!

But I... You know, I didn't know
anything would happen!

I was just doing a bit.

Clearly, you don't understand
what a bit is,

do you, Ghost Shark?

Can't you unsummon it?

Unsummon him?

I like to rhyme when I use
my Chairman powers, okay?

There's no way I could think of a word

that rhymes with "unsummon"

under these stressful conditions!

(creaking)

We're gonna need a boat.

(in pirate voice) All right,
as long as you're me crew,

you needn't worry about
the beast that lurks beneath.

We be safe as long as we be in the boat.

Scratch, I love you,

but can you please stop talking
like a grizzled old sea captain?

Yeah, it's freaking me out more.

Also, you're not that good at it.

A mutiny!

To the brig with the both o' ye, arr.

(in normal voice) Okay,
it's giving me a headache. I'm done.

(groaning)

(gasps)
Ghost Shark! Off the port side!

Which way is port?

Well, port is very simple, you see.

"Port" is the same number
of letters as "left."

Or, also, you can think about it,
because "port" ends with a T.

So does "left." So, what Darryl was saying

was it's off to the left.

(Ghost Shark growling)

Wait, wait. We're in the boat.

As long as we're in the boat, we're safe.

- Right, Scratch?
- Uh...

The shark can get us in the boat!

(all scream)

Ah! I don't love how he's looking at me!

(roars)

No!

(yells)

He bit my cutie bit! My signature look!

You two just had to watch a scary movie,

and now we're all gonna get eaten alive.

Or in my case, eaten dead.

- Which sounds much worse!
- Don't blame us!

You're the one who summoned
the Ghost Shark!

(yelps)

(roars)

Ah! Upstairs!

Ghost Sharks can't swim upstairs.

(both grunting)

Really not gonna help paddle at all, huh?

I'm captaining.

Abandon ship!

Ghosts before women and children!

(foreboding music playing)

You can't get us all the way
up here, now can you?

SCRATCH: In your face,
you oversized goldfish.

(all cheer)

- We did it!
- We're safe!

(laughs)

(in taunting tone)
"I'm a shark,

but I'm too dumb to go up the stairs."

Uh, Scratch?

- SCRATCH (in normal tone): Yeah?
- Remember when that fisherman

called the Ghost Shark names?

It only made the Ghost Shark
ten times madder.

So? It's not like it can swim upstairs.

Oh, no! What if it can swim upstairs?

- Ooh.
- Run for your lives!

♪ Have you heard the tale
of the crew McGee? ♪

♪ Stranded adrift on the hardwood seas ♪

♪ And the ghostly shark
from which they flee ♪

ALL: ♪ A battle with the beast ♪

(powerful grunt)

FISHERMAN: ♪ The calming chum
of the waters red ♪

♪ The monster filled
their hearts with dread ♪

♪ And the captain hid beneath the bed ♪

♪ A pathetic coward, he ♪

- Hey!
- ♪ In the battle ♪

♪ Oh, the battle,
in the battle with the beast ♪

- (screams)
- ♪ To each other they're beloved ♪

♪ But to him, they're just a feast ♪

♪ And the odds look pretty good ♪

♪ That one or two will die at least ♪

♪ In their battle
with their battle with the beast ♪

♪ Battle with the beast ♪

(powerful grunt)

♪ From the starboard side,
they can see him clear ♪

♪ So they lunge harpoons
but they just don't spear ♪

- Uh-oh.
- ♪ There goes all his skiing gear ♪

Guess I'll have to rent this year.
(yelps)

♪ Escaping the upstairs hall ♪

♪ They hoist and climb up a ladder tall ♪

He can't climb ladders, right? He'll fall.

Well, at this point,
I don't think we can rule it out.

♪ In the battle, oh, the battle ♪

♪ In the battle with the beast ♪

♪ Turns out sharks are way more deadly ♪

♪ When they become deceased ♪

♪ And its unicorn-shaped pillows ♪

♪ Versus rows of razor teeth ♪

ALL: ♪ In their battle
with their battle with the beast ♪

♪ Battle with the beast ♪

(roars)

Uh, really sorry. It's you or me.
I'm really sorry! Mwah.

I'll never forget you, Mr. Whiskers.

Come on, we're slowing him down.

Twinklespot. I'll never
forgive myself for this.

(in lower tone)
"I'll never forgive you either."

(in normal tone)
That's fair.

(snarls)

(gasps)
We're out of stuffies.

- I guess that means...
- This is the end.

(roars)

I'm too young to die again!

(sobs)

I mean, after all those stuffies,

the Ghost Shark's got to be full.

(belches)

Twinklespot! You're okay.

MOLLY (in lower tone): "I forgive you.
But I will never forget."

(in normal tone)
Wait a minute,

as soon as you said Ghost Shark was full,

it tossed back Twinklespot.

Are you controlling Ghost Shark?

Yeah, because I control
Ghost Shark. Cuckoo!

Oh, my corn, Scratch.
You didn't summon Ghost Shark

with your Chairman powers.

You created him!

SCRATCH: The shark can't get us
in the boat!

What if it can swim upstairs?

He can't climb ladders, right?

I don't think we can rule it out.

Try saying the shark
does something else, Scratch.

Okay. Uh, maybe the Ghost Shark
wants to do some... flips?

(growls)

Ooh.

Maybe it does the tango.

(tango music playing)

I am controlling him!

Uh, maybe the Ghost Shark
is a really sweet, ectoplasmic sea buddy

who doesn't want to eat us.

ALL: Aw!

Who's a good little terror-inducing beast?

Who's that? Well, you are.

- Yes, you are, you little...
- (giggling)

I can't believe how worked up we all got.

You see, sharks have been
misrepresented in media

for the last half a century.

In reality, they're an important
and valued member

of the ocean ecosystem,

and we should not paint them
as some all-powerful villain.

Who are you talking to?

Oh, you know. The people.

(chuckling) Okay. Whoo!

Anyway, I've got the perfect idea

for what we should do
for the rest of the night.

Now this is relaxing.

SHARON: Kids, we're home.

How'd it go?

Great. Nothing to report here.

No tears. Everyone's in one piece.

Good job.

Are we not gonna ask
about the Ghost Shark?

Nope.

SCRATCH AND MOLLY:
♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪