The Garfield Show (2008–2016): Season 1, Episode 8 - Not So Sweet Sound of Music/Turkey Trouble - full transcript

-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]

[upbeat theme song playing]

-[Garfield] Hee-hee!
-[remote clicks]

[suspenseful soundtrack playing]

[man] Be careful, Jennifer.
The unspeakable horror is nearby.

It could be anywhere... anywhere at all.

You never know when an unspeakable horror
will just walk in the door.

-[Squeak] Just walk in the door?
-He's right, Squeak.

An unspeakable horror could be walking
right through that door any second...

-[doorknob rattling]
-[Squeak] Whoa!

[teeth chattering]



Hey, look what I have. An accordion.

[gasps] An accordion?

While visiting my folks, I found this
in the attic, my old accordion.

Don't tell me you're going
to see if you can still play it.

I thought I'd see
if I could still play it.

[sighs] I'm doomed.

Maybe I can still make a break
for the door.

I'll hide out in another state.

No, another continent. Another planet.
Another galaxy.

[accordion playing]

I heard the accordion.

[gibbering]

[playing off-key]

[Squeak shrieks]



Whooo! Aaaah! Meeeow!

You know, Garfield,
I was pretty good in my day.

What day was that?
Because it's certainly not today.

[shrieking]

I wonder what would be
a good place to practice.

How about Ecuador?
It's lovely this time of year.

[gasping]

I wonder if it bothered Squeak
as much as it bothered me.

Yeah, he looks pretty bothered.

Make it stop, Garfield. Make it stop.

I wish I could.

Researchers have discovered
that the accordion

is the second most hated
musical instrument in the world.

-Second?
-What? You never heard of bagpipes?

Oh, right.

[accordion screeching]

It sounds like Jon's practicing,
if you can call that practicing,

in the den, of all places.

Why do people play that thing?

Beats me. You gotta be totally
without brains to like an accordion.

-[accordion playing]
-[Odie yipping]

Your Honor, there's my proof.

Garfield, what are we gonna do?

Wait, I have an idea.

[laughs] Odie, this is great.

I'm going to practice and practice
until I get real good at this.

Hey, Accordion Boy.
You have a mouse in your house.

-[plays sour chord]
-What are you gonna do about it? Nyaaah!

A mouse! There's a mouse
in the house again!

-It's the same one as always.
-Get him, Odie!

[Odie barking]

Catch that mouse!

Ha ha! My timing is perfect.

In you go.

So much for the accordion.

This is our last stop before lunch, Percy.
Where do you want to go?

Anywhere.

Ahh, the fragrant scent of garbage
always makes me hungry.

Hey, looks like someone threw away
a perfectly good accordion.

-Just throw it on the truck.
-I used to play one of these.

I gave it up because hauling trash
seemed like a more respectable job.

Oh, no. You're not bringing that thing
aboard my garbage truck.

That mouse that got away looked like
the mouse Garfield got rid of last week.

And the one he got rid of
the week before that and...

Odie! My accordion!

I left it right here and it's gone.

Huh? [groans]

Where could it have disappeared to?

-[sniffing]
-[knock on door]

-Yes?
-I believe this is yours.

Don't throw that thing away again.

We're not allowed to accept
hazardous materials.

I don't understand this for a minute.

Do you hear that, Squeak?

-I don't hear anything.
-Yes!

And isn't it beautiful?

I think I'll go take a nap.

After that run, I could use one too.

[Garfield sighs]

Oh, boy, this is gonna feel so good.

No more accordion.

[Jon] I'll serenade you
to sleep, Garfield.

-[accordion plays]
-[Garfield shrieks]

[playing off-key]

[crash!]

Garfield, are you all right? Garfield?
What am I going to do?

Maybe I should call the paramedics.
Or a vet. Wait!

They say music has healing powers.
I'll play him a tune on the accordion.

I'm in enough pain.

That's better, but you probably still need
first aid; I'll go get the kit.

I have to get this thing out of here.

I'll find someplace for it
where it will never be seen again.

Where did Garfield go?
And where's my accordion?

I have to find Garfield
and I have to find my accordion.

[sniffing]

Maybe I could ship it
to some foreign country.

Oh, no, that's how wars get started.

I know what I'll do with it.

Farewell forever, accordion!

My conscience says it's wrong,
but my ears are saying,

"Shut up! You don't have to listen
to that contraption!"

Hey, cat! Didn't you read the sign?

"Warning: Illegal to dump toxic waste,
dangerous chemicals, radioactive isotopes,

poisonous substances,
and especially accordions!"

[man] You wanna make the fish sick?

I see your point.
I'll find someplace else to get rid of it.

[sour notes playing]

[Odie sniffing]

[horns honking]

[Garfield] The trick to getting rid
of something

is making it look like
something you want.

Look at the lovely,
valuable present I got.

Now, to go home and enjoy the sound
of no accordion music.

[Garfield shrieks]

Listen, cat. I'm desperate.
I haven't eaten in two weeks.

But there are some things
even I won't take.

[Odie sniffing]

[sour notes playing]

[dramatic soundtrack plays]

In you go!

[sour notes playing]

[jackhammer pounding]

[clattering]

Now, I'll never see
that instrument of evil again.

[Garfield laughs maniacally]

[Odie sniffing]

[whines]

First, my accordion disappears...

And now Odie hasn't
been around for hours.

I wonder what he's doing, where he is...

[Odie straining]

[Odie] Huh?

[howls]

[accordion playing random notes]

No, it couldn't be...

It's just a bad dream, that's all.

I just gotta get some more sleep.

-[accordion playing]
-That's it!

That's the voice of Jon's accordion!
I'd know it anywhere!

It's coming for me. It's saying,
"You tried to do away with me."

[random notes playing]

Huh?

There's nothing in there.
It's just my imagination.

[discordant notes resonating]

I'll see for myself and then
I'll be able to go back to sleep.

It's coming for me!

No, no! I buried you! I know I did!

-[crash!]
-What's that?

♪♪♪♪

[plaster rattling]

[sour notes playing]

Odie! It's you.

[sighs]

And my accordion! And Garfield.

It was the accordion that did this.

It attacked me.

[Odie] Aww.

Come on, Garfield.
We'd better get you to the vet.

Cheer up. I heard the vet say you'll be
all right in a couple of weeks.

That's not why I'm depressed.

I'm depressed because
Jon got his accordion back.

I am so doomed.

Relax, Garf. I also heard Jon say
that it won't play anymore.

Something about it being
full of dirt or something.

Really?

That's the best news I've heard.

Garfield, I have to apologize.

I was going to entertain you
with a little accordion solo,

but my accordion seems to have
breathed its last.

I hope so. I gave it a decent burial.

And when I went shopping for a new one,
they were way too expensive.

[sighs] Guess I'll just
have to do without.

But you're in luck.
They were having a sale.

No! It can't be! It can't!

[playing off-key]

[Garfield] Make it stop!

No, no. I'd rather have
the accordion back. Please, stop!

Help!

[Garfield] It's going to be great having
you for dinner tonight, Liz.

And before I forget, it's very important
that you not arrive late.

I'll be there on time,
but why is it so important I not be late?

Because it's rude?

No. If you're late,
you probably won't get any food.

Maybe even if you're on time.

I'm going to start cooking any minute.
We're having roast turkey.

-Roast turkey?
-I won a turkey in a raffle.

They're supposed to deliver it
any minute now.

Dibs on the drumsticks!
And the rest of it too.

[Liz] I'll be there.

-I hope Garfield leaves me the neck.
-She hopes you leave her the neck.

The neck's the best part.
She can have an ankle.

[doorbell rings]

Sounds like my turkey's here!

Wonder how it rang the doorbell.

Jon Arbuckle? I'm Mr. Gizzard,
your local poultry specialist.

I have a turkey for you.

Thanks.

[turkey gobbling]

Hey, this turkey's alive!

Mr. Gizzard! The turkey! It's alive.

So?

Well, I can't...
I mean, I can't cook it if...

Ohh...

That is...

You won a live turkey.
I delivered a live turkey.

If you don't know what to do with him,
it's not my problem.

Gobble gobble!

[sighs]

Hmm. Turkey for dinner.

♪ I'm having turkey for dinner ♪

♪ Delicious roast turkey dinner ♪

Yum-yum-yum-yum!

[Odie slurps] Mmm!
Can I have some?

Sure, you can have some.
You can have the other ankle.

[Odie] Mmm. Huh?

Hi, guys. We're having lasagna for dinner.

♪ Lasagna for dinner
I'm having lasagna for dinner ♪

♪ Delicious baked lasagna ♪

Lasagna?

Ahem. Change of menu?

If you want roast turkey, it's easy,
Garfield, you put it in the oven.

Gobble gobble.

Gobble.

[sighs] Well, at least it's fresh.

Gobble gobble.

Hmm.

-My dinner seems to be having lunch.
-Sorry, Garfield.

I don't have the heart to end
that turkey's life, and neither do you.

I hate it when Jon's right.

Fortunately, it doesn't happen very often.

[sighs] It's time for my nap.

Jon being right. How about that?

[turkey gobbling]

But he is right.
I couldn't end that turkey's life.

Gobble gobble!

[snores]

Gobble gobble gobble gobble.

[snores]

Gobble gobble gobble gobble.

Maybe I spoke too soon.

[snoring]

Okay, Mr. Turkey, kind sir?

[turkey] Huh?

I hate to disturb you, but I was wondering
if you could do one little thing for me.

Gobble yeah!

Well, I was kind of hoping
perhaps you could...

Let's see. How can I put this delicately?

-Get out of my bed!
-[turkey shrieks]

[Garfield snickers]

A turkey in my bed. Is there anything
I like less than a turkey in my bed?

-[turkey gobbling]
-[Garfield gasps]

Yaaaa!

-[turkey] Huh?
-Yes!

A turkey in my supper dish.

-Scram! Get away! Evaporate!
-[turkey gobbling]

I think he's learned his lesson.

I don't think he'll cause me
any more trouble.

[turkey] Huh? Hmm.

[goofy music playing]

[chickens clucking]

-This is my favorite show, Garfield.
-Mine too.

Except what I really like
are the commercials for burritos.

[turkey] Hello.

Gobble gobble gobble gobble...

[tires screech]

[turkey squawking]

You know, a hot turkey sandwich
would taste really good right now.

[turkey gobbling]

I'll just put him outside.

If you're going to sing that loud, fella,
you're going to have to be farther away.

I'm thinking Peru.

Uh, what just happened?

-[Garfield] Ahem?
-[turkey] Huh?

[turkey gobbling]

[Jon] Whoaaa!

-[tires screech]
-[turkey gobbling]

-[crash!]
-[Garfield] Ohh!

[groans]

Yaaaaaa!

Ouch.

[turkey gobbling]

Okay, turkey.
You just became a to-go order.

[gasps, gobbles]

[crash!]

-[gobbling]
-[bell dings]

-[gobbling]
-[Garfield screams]

-[thud!]
-[gobbling]

[gasping]

[panting]

[gobbling]

[Jon] Whoaaaa!

Where did he... ah-choo... go?

Ah-choo!

Wait, wait. I-- Ah-choo!

I see him. No, I've got him. I've got him.
I've got you, turkey!

Got you by that scrawny,
scraggly little neck of yours.

-Ah-choo!
-Gesundheit.

[squawk] Ah-choo!

[sighs]

Don't tell me you're allergic
to feathers too?

[turkey] Uh-huh. [gobbling]

Ah-choo! Uh-huh...

That turkey's going to drive us crazy.
I'm going to take him back to Mr. Gizzard.

This I got to see.

Huh? [shrieks]

[sobbing, gobbling]

[sighs]

Ugh!

-[clang!]
-Ohhh!

[clang!]

[crash!]

How hard could it be to catch a turkey?

About that hard.

I think it's time to leave this
to the professionals.

I'll be down in the basement.

Oh, boy!

Fortunately, some of us
have a large selection of costumes

in our costume trunks.

Pirate costume, cowboy suit,
cat costume...

Why would I ever need this?

Ah! Turkey costume.

Apart from a few mashed potatoes
and gravy stains, it's perfect.

[Odie yelps]

[turkey gobbling]

Hello, fellow turkey. Gobble gobble!

[squawks and gobbles]

[snickers]

[turkey gobbling]

Hey!

-[Garfield] This way, buddy.
-[turkey gobbling]

-[clang!]
-[Jon] Gotcha!

Don't worry, Garfield.
I'll get him back to Mr. Gizzard!

[tires squealing]

-Mr. Gizzard! I'd like to return this!
-[doorbell jingles]

[unzips bag]

Oooh!

You were very close.

Uh... Sorry. That's not a turkey,
it's a cat in a turkey suit.

I'll be right back.

I'd like a turkey, please.

Do you have one without fur?

This time, I have the right turkey.

[barks]

He's cute and all. We just can't keep him
around the house.

-Sure, I'll take him back.
-Maybe you can find a good home for him.

Home? This ain't a pet store, you know.

[Odie whines]

You... you're not going to...?

It's what we do here, pal.

Hey, wanna let me have him, too?
What I could get for him by the pound!

[Jon and Garfield gasp]

Okay, okay. I'll just take this one.

[Odie snarling]

What are we going to do?
We can't just let him...

I'll take care of this, or my name
isn't Garfield Turkey... Cat.

[Mr. Gizzard] You stay here.
I have some knives to sharpen.

[turkey sighs]

We're going to spring you from the joint.
Just breathe deep.

Ah-choo! [gobbling] Ah-choo!

[gobbling] Ah-choo!

-Ah-choo!
-Gesundheit, gesundheit, gesundheit!

[door opens]

Now then, down to business! I'll--

[turkey sneezing]

What are you sneezing about? Are you sick?

[turkey] Ehh!

Tell him yes.

[gobbling]

Whoa! This could be turkey pox!
He could infect my whole shop!

Wait, wait, take this turkey back!

-But you said--
-You won it, it's yours!

-Keep it out of my store!
-[door slams]

-Gosh. What do we do now?
-[Odie yips]

-[turkey gobbles]
-I had my heart set

on having turkey for dinner tonight

and we're going to have that turkey
for dinner tonight.

[turkey shrieks]

I've been looking forward to this
ever since Jon said

-he was having a turkey for dinner.
-[Garfield snickers]

All right, everybody!
Here's what you've been waiting for.

[all] Awww!

My special spinach lasagna.

Oh, gobble gobble!

Gobble gobble!

Gobble.

-You think the petting zoo will want him?
-Sure. The kids will love him.

And now that we've had
the turkey here for dinner,

maybe we can take him to a movie.

[turkey] Ohh! Gobble!

[laughter]