The Garfield Show (2008–2016): Season 1, Episode 25 - The Amazing Flying Dog/The Last Word - full transcript

-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]

[upbeat theme song playing]

-[Garfield] Hee-hee!
-[remote clicks]

[Odie slurping]

[dog whimpering]

Huh?

[whoosh!]

Ta-da!

[dog yelping]

[yipping]

[inhales deeply]



[siren wailing]

[woman] Ohh!

Mwah! [giggles]

[cheering]

Huh?

[smooching]

Bowwww!

I hate to interrupt your dream.
Well, no, I don't.

But how am I supposed to watch TV
with you sleeping on the remote?

It's time for my favorite show,
Are You Smarter Than Lasagna?

[yips]

[groans]

Ta-da!

[barks]



[gasps] Ohhh!

[crash!]

-[sighs]
-I'm gonna give you a 2 on this.

You need to work on your poise
and coordination,

and see what you can do about that tongue.

[sighs]

[whimpering]

[laughing]

Wow.

[whimpering]

[gasps] Wow!

[straining]

[sighs]

[snickers]

Hey, Odie. Why the long face?

I'll cheer you up. I'll throw the stick
and you fetch it; how about that, boy?

Odie doesn't want to fetch the stick?
Odie always wants to fetch the stick.

He's been acting like that all day.

I'd say it's because he finally realized
how dumb he was,

but he's not smart enough to know that.

[whimpering]

[barks]

[barks]

[sighs]

[dog yips]

-[gear changes]
-[dog] Huh?

[Odie] Huh?

[poodle barking]

Ta-da!

Oops.

[poodle barking]

Ta-da!

Huh? [growls]

Ta-da!

[poodle whining]

[tires screeching]

[woman screams]

Huh?

Ohh!

-[yipping]
-[barks]

[soundtrack grinds to a halt]

[Garfield snickers]

[gurgling]

Hey, Ode! I found this water pistol!

[Odie snarling]

Didn't he realize it's filled
with strawberry lemonade?

Mmm! Mmm!

It needs more sugar.

[Odie whimpers]

Hey, Odie,
I've got a little treat for you.

[Odie] Huh?

[Jon] Here's a yummy bone
for my little dog.

[whining]

He doesn't wanna fetch.
He doesn't want a bone.

Maybe I should take him for a check-up.

[screaming]

[spider laughing]

-[poodle whines]
-[spider laughing]

[poodle yipping]

[laser whooshing]

[poodle howling]

[poodle giggles]

Ohh!

-[breathes out]
-Blecch!

[crash!]

-[Garfield] Odie?
-Huh?

Odie, wake up!

Hey, pupster.
Open those doggie eyes of yours.

-[snarls]
-Whoa, take it easy.

You were thrashing around.
I thought you were having a bad dream.

Huh-uh. [sighs]

-You were dreaming a good dream?
-Uh-huh.

-About food?
-Huh-uh.

Are there any other things
worth dreaming about?

Oh, okay, what was it?

Ta-da!

Ta-da!

You were dreaming
about being a great superhero

and saving people in distress?

Yeah!

-Especially cute ladies in distress?
-Yeah!

Well, personally,
I prefer dreaming about food.

I think I'll dream up
some moo goo gai pan.

[yowls, whimpers]

Odie, is it okay if I tell you something?

You won't take it the wrong way?

-Okay.
-Good.

Dogs don't fly, you got that?
Dogs do not fly!

Stop it with these daydreams.

If you wanted to fly, you should
have had yourself born as a bird.

[gasps]

[sighs]

Forget the nap.

I'm going to Vito's for the free pizza
he doesn't know he's giving out today.

[laughs]

Hey, you can't come this way, cat.
We're pouring asphalt and repaving here.

Go to the next block.

The next block?

Doesn't that man know the shortest route
between me and pizza is a straight line?

I'll just walk
on the other side of the street.

I don't know what it is with that dog.
He just does one dumb thing after another.

-[splash!]
-[gasps] Huh?

Then again, he never got his feet stuck
in freshly poured asphalt.

Ahem! Excuse me.
I have a little problem here.

[steamroller beeping]

Make that a big problem.

Help! Somebody help!

Help!

Help!

[Odie howling]

Help and double help!

I'm gonna be flatter
than Jon's last soufflé.

[beeping]

Help!

So what do you think, Sam?
You wanna go bowling after work?

Stop! Help and stop!

Stop, stop, help!

Sam, would you speak up?
Some cat is howling out here or something.

Huh?

[Garfield] Help!

[barking]

Ta-da!

Dogs don't fly! You got that?
Stop it with these daydreams.

[screaming]

[poodle barking]

Huh?

-[poodle barking]
-[woman shrieking]

[thud!]

[barks]

Thanks for trying to save me,

but now two of us are about
to become animal pancakes.

[poodle barking]

Whoa! [snarls]

Ta-da! Yaaaaa!

Ohh!

[airplane engine revving]

Whoa!

[beeping]

Goodbye, whoever you are.

[clang!]

[Garfield gasps]

[poodle] My hero!

[barks]

Wow! Did you see that?

The flying dog saved them
from the steamroller!

You're nuts. Dogs can't fly.

-That one did. Just like a superhero.
-[Odie] Huh?

[poodle] My hero!

Mwah!

-[yips]
-Bow-wow!

[woman] Come now!

Did you see? I mean, I...
I though that... and then...

Oh, never mind.

[snoring]

Yaaaaaa!

-[snoring]
-[door closes]

-Hey, Odie?
-Hmm?

I had the strangest dream.

I dreamed earlier today
that you were flying.

You were flying and you rescued me
and a cute girl dog, like a superhero.

-Silly dream, huh?
-Mm-hmm.

Well, I guess as long as it was a dream,
I can go back to sleep.

Good night, Odie.

Ta-da!

[slurping]

[crunching] Yum, yum, yum.

Garfield, do you ever stop eating?

Sure, when I sleep and when I take naps.

See, that's exactly my point.

When it comes to food,
you lack willpower of any kind.

[burps]

That's baloney.
I could lay off the food anytime I want.

If I really wanted to, I could do it.

Yeah, right.

Wanna bet?

Sure.

I bet that you can't go one whole hour
without eating anything.

If you lose, you'll be my personal slave
for a whole week.

And what's in it for me if I win?

How about I stay away from your house
for an entire month?

Now you're talking! [laughs]

[Nermal laughs]

[clock tolling hour]

It's eleven o'clock.
The bet will end at 12:00.

Good luck.

[Garfield gasps]
It's only an hour.

We're just talking 60 minutes,
3,600 seconds.

It'll be over in no time.

[shrieks]

[clattering, toy squeaks]

[clang!]

[ticking]

This clock can't be right.
The hands aren't even moving.

Congratulations, Garfield.

You've just made it
through the first minute.

One minute? That's all?

But it feels
like it's been an hour already.

In fact, it feels like
it's been three hours and 47 minutes.

-You're not giving up, are you?
-Heck no.

As a matter of fact,
I'm not even one bit hungry.

If you say so. See you later!

Aww! Fifty-nine more minutes!

This is harder than I thought.

I've gotta find ways
to keep my mind off my stomach.

I know! I'll watch TV for an hour.

TV is always a good way to waste
your time, I mean use your time.

[shrieks]

I'm making chocolate milkshakes.

This has never been so easy

thanks to our new
turbo-powered chocolate-making machine.

[Garfield] Ohh!

Rick, did you find it?

Yes, bacon and cheddar, your favorite.

Ohh!

Oh, my.

No!

Don't miss the new
all-you-can-eat pizza buffet at Vito's.

It's the best pizza on the planet!

Let Vito show you how pizza
should be made!

Huh?
Garfield? What on earth are you doing?

Uh, oh...

There was this unsightly blotch
on the screen

and it wouldn't go away
so I thought, "I'll clean it."

Oh, look! There on the carpet.

Yaaaaaa!

It'll definitely take more
than a kernel of popcorn

to turn me
into your personal slave, Nermal.

Oh, look at the time!

Only 55 more minutes of not eating to go.

[ticking]

[sighs] Fifty-five more minutes?

[Nermal laughs]

[Garfield screams]

[chuckles]

[Garfield] This is the longest hour
of my whole life.

I must find something to do
that doesn't involve eating.

Of course, I'll take a nap
for the remaining 55 minutes.

I'm sure Nermal didn't see that coming.

[yawns]

And when I wake up
from my little nappypoo,

I'll be rid of him for 31 days in a row.

[sighs]

That's something
to really look forward to.

[snoring]

[Garfield snoring]

[Garfield laughs]

[sighs]

Hey, Garfield. Lunch is ready.

Huh? Yes, Master.

Could you just give me a minute?

-[door slams]
-Huh?

[shrieks]

Okay, I'm feeling much better now. Really.

Here you go, Odie.
That one's for you, Nermal.

And the big one's for...

[Garfield groans]

Garfield? Triple cheese lasagna!

Thanks for rubbing the salt in my wound.

Are you sure you don't want any?
[chuckles]

No. [sobbing]

Fine. Who wants a second helping?

Meow.

Mmm, mmm, mmm!

[chuckles]

-[Garfield gasps]
-[Nermal purrs]

Garfield.

[laughs]

Meow!

-[purrs]
-[stammering]

[slurping, laughing]

-[sighs]
-[Jon eating]

Oh, no, stop!

[muffled chewing]

[slurping]

This really hurts.
I can't take this any longer.

[ticking]

This hour will never end!
This hour will never end!

[Odie barks]

[laughs]

[Garfield muttering]

Hey, come back here
and bring some mustard.

Oww! Oww!

[Odie yips]

[snarls]

[gasps]

[Odie muttering]

Ahh!

[laughing]

Hello, my little cupcake.

Garfield, you look weird.
Is everything all right?

[laughing hysterically]

-Shh! Do you hear it too?
-Hear what?

[eerie voice] Garfield, come to me.

Come to me, Garfield.
I know you want what's inside of me.

Oh, my.

Open me.

[food] Eat us, Garfield. Eat us.

Garfield? We miss you.

Don't you love us anymore?

[shrieks]

Can't. Can't give up now.

Must resist.

Eat us! Eat us!

You'll feel better!

-Stop.
-Eat us.

Eat us.

You'll feel better.

Eat. Eat.

Eat. Eat.

-Eat.
-Eat.

Eat.

Oh, no, stop!

[shrieks]

-[clock ticking]
-Huh?

[clock tolling hour]

I made it! I made it! I won!

I won the bet thanks
to my amazing willpower! Yippee!

[bottles rattling, Garfield eating]

Well, congratulations. You win.

I'll keep my part of the bet.

I won't set one foot in this house
for a whole month.

[burps]

Food's never tasted so good.

[burp] Oh!

[burp] Oh!

-Hmm. I don't feel so hot all of a sudden.
-[stomach gurgling]

[burp] Ohh!

[sighs]

His temperature is normal.

I think it's just a mild case
of indigestion.

Oh, no, I'm fine. Really.

Do you think I can have
one of those cookie thingies now?

I don't think so, Garfield.

Don't give him any solid food
for the next 24 hours,

to be on the safe side.

Twenty-four hours?

You've gotta be kidding?
I barely made it through one.

[Nermal slurps]

Pity I have to respect our bet and stay
out of this house for one whole month.

You could have helped me
with this enormous,

chocolaty, yummy ice cream.

[sobbing]

Chocolate!