The Garfield Show (2008–2016): Season 1, Episode 23 - Nice to Nermal/Out on a Limb - full transcript

-[Garfield snoring]
-[alarm rings]

[upbeat theme song playing]

-[Garfield] Hee-hee!
-[remote clicks]

[Garfield humming]

[Garfield growling]

Can't sleep, either?
Don't worry. I'll take care of it.

Huh? Garfield, I'm trying to clean.

Jon, I'm trying to sleep.

I'll vacuum later.
Right now, I'll do the laundry.

[straining]

Oh!



Ahh...

-[Jon screams]
-[crash!]

I can't think of anything more annoying
than the sound of a vacuum cleaner.

[Nermal] Hiya, Garfield!

[laughing]

Just thought of something.

They're doing spring cleaning where I live
so I thought I'd spend the day with you.

-[sighs]
-[giggles] Are you glad to see me?

[fly buzzing]

Nermal, I'm so glad to see you,
I'm going to roll out the red carpet.

Roll out the red carpet? Really? For me?

-Wha...?
-[Garfield laughs]

Garfield, is this how someone rolls out
the red carpet to welcome someone?

No, it's how we roll out the red carpet
to get rid of someone.



-Hasta la vista, baby.
-[Nermal] Help!

-[crash!]
-I thought he'd never stop.

[gasping]

Better do Garfield's blanket
while I'm at it.

Pooky, you stay here.

I wonder what kind of bleach
is good for lasagna stains.

[humming]

-Whoa!
-[crash!]

Huh?

[Nermal] Oooh!

That wasn't very nice, Garfield.

That was kind of the idea, Nermal.

You don't make a guy feel very welcome.

You should have a place
in your home for guests like me.

We do.

-[clang!]
-The perfect place.

[Nermal] You know, Garfield,

I'm beginning to get the idea
I'm not wanted around here.

Really? I can't imagine why.

He'll be sorry. One of these days,
Garfield is gonna be nice to me.

Wha...?

[gasps]

And I think today is the day! [laughs]

[sighs]

Time for my "pre-afternoon nap" nap.

This is the nap I take to warm up
for my afternoon nap.

I just washed the blanket
in your bed, Garfield.

[sniff] But now it doesn't
smell like lasagna.

Oh, well.
Guess I'll just have to spill some more.

[snoring]

Hey, something is missing.

No, someone is missing. Pooky!

Pooky? Pooky?

Oh, Pooky?

Oh, well. He'll turn up.

It's not like I can't live without him
for two minutes.

Yes, it is! Pooky! Pooky, where are you?

Pooky, are you in here?

Pooky, are you in here?

Pooky? Oh, Pooky!

Pooky, are you in here?

So that's what happened
to my corned beef sandwich!

I've been at it since 6 a.m.
but my spring cleaning is done, Liz.

The house is absolutely spotless and I'm--
[gasps]

-[Odie] Wow!
-[Garfield] Oh, Pooky?

-What? But I just...
-[clattering]

I'll call you back, Liz. [snarls]

[Garfield] Pooky! Come out,
wherever you are.

Where is he, Arbuckle? Fess up!

What could you be looking for so...?

Oh, I know. It's Pooky. Ohh!

[Garfield] Meow!

Hand him over, Arbuckle,
if you know what's good for you.

I took Pooky out of your bed
to wash the blanket,

and I put Pooky here on the...

Huh? That's funny. I put him right there.

I'm waiting.

You know what must have happened?

I must have accidentally knocked him
in the cardboard.

You cad!

I don't see him anywhere in here.

But then I emptied this
into the trash cans outside.

[Garfield] Don't worry, Pooky!
I'm coming to save you!

-Pooky? Where are you, Pooky?
-[can clanging]

There's no Pooky in here.

Garfield, I'm sorry
if I accidentally threw Pooky out,

but there's nothing I can do about it now.

[Odie sighs]

I can't believe I'll never see
my little Pooky again.

I'll never see his smiling face,
never hear his friendly voice.

Okay, so he doesn't say much
but he was my pal.

Who could do such a thing?

Who could be so thoroughly rotten
as to take my beloved Pooky?

-[Nermal snickers]
-You didn't.

I did.

Found him in the trash,
right where you dumped me.

This calls for diplomacy.

It calls for intelligent,
reasoned approach.

[Garfield] Give me back Pooky
or I'll mail you to Abu Dhabi

in a box marked
"Please bend, fold and mutilate"!

[Nermal] You lay one paw on me, Garfield,
and you'll never see Pooky again!

You can have him back on one condition!
You have to be nice to me.

[Garfield] Ooooh!

[Garfield panting]

-How nice?
-Real nice.

You wouldn't settle for almost nice?

Be real nice to me the rest of the day
and I'll show you where I hid Pooky.

Growl. Look of disgust.

You win. Real nice.

Alright!

Being nice to Nermal, it's so unnatural.

I need a cookie, or two, or 37.

Bloodhound!

Put that nose of yours to some use
and track down whoever it is

who took all the cookies...

-[Odie yips]
-It wasn't me.

Right!

Huh? [barks]

-[Garfield growling]
-[Odie yips]

What am I going to do?

Nermal in my bed
with his stomach full of my cookies?

I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

Garfield, please don't shoot me
into outer space!

[Garfield] Too good for him.

Garfield, please don't let
the sharks eat me!

[Garfield laughs]

No, too kind.
Plus, it would make the sharks sick.

Let me think...

Garfield, please don't make me
watch televised golf games.

Yes!

You're not being nice to me!
You'll never see Pooky again.

Pooky...

I'll tell you what I'm going to do
to Nermal, Odie: absolutely nothing.

[Odie] Huh? Aww!

You know, Garfield,
as impossible as it may seem,

I think I'm getting cuter.
Don't you agree?

Yes, Nermal.

I truly am the cutest kitty cat
in the whole world, don't you agree?

Yes, Nermal.

No, I want to hear you say it.

Say, "Yes, Nermal. You're the cutest
kitty cat in the whole world."

Yes, Nermal, you're the cutest...

Excuse me for just one minute.

[Garfield screams]

[laughing]

Yes, Nermal, you are indeed
the cutest kitty cat in the whole country.

-World.
-Excuse me.

[Garfield screams]

-World.
-World. Whatever.

Thanks, Garfield.

Hey, Jon's serving lasagna
after he finishes re-cleaning the house.

I think it would be nice
if you let me have all of yours.

Meow!

That's it! I can't take any more of this.

I didn't want to do it.
Not even to Nermal, but I have to.

-[Odie] You're what?
-I'm sending an e-mail.

I'm inviting Jon's cousins,
Drusilla and Minerva, to come visit.

[Odie] Oh, no!

[Garfield laughs]

[doorbell rings]

[sighs] Now, who could that be?
I just finished cleaning the house again.

Drusilla! Minerva!

Hi, Cousin Jon! We came to visit!

Oh, look! There's a cute kitty!

Hello, little kitty cat.

[Garfield laughs]

-He's so cute! Very cute!
-He is!

Isn't he the cutest kitty
you've ever seen?

-Absolutely!
-Absolutely!

-But he could be even cuter!
-Lucky we brought our makeup kits!

Let me out of here!

[girls] Come back, cute kitty! Come back!

Garfield, you've got to save me from them!

[screams]

Sorry, cute one, but you're on your own.

But you promised to be nice to me.

I'm being nice to you. They're the ones
who aren't being nice to you.

[girls] There's the kitty!

He needs a shampoo,
and a rinse, and eyeliner.

[girls] Clean his ears!

Wash his fur!

Curl his tail!

Let's add perfume!

[Nermal] Garfield, please!

Gee, I'd help you, Nermal,

but I haven't been myself
since Pooky disappeared.

[Nermal] He's in the hollow tree
in the backyard!

-[Drusilla] And we could dye him...
-[Minerva] Turquoise!

There you are, my friend.

[Odie yipping]

I'll help Nermal after Pooky
and I get reacquainted.

Don't bother.

[snarls]

Well, Odie.

I got Pooky back and I never have
to be nice to Nermal again.

Everything worked out fine.

[girls] There's another cute kitty!

-[Garfield] No! Let me go!
-[girls] We'll style his whiskers...

[girls] We'll give him a facial!

-[Drusilla] We'll curl his fur!
-[Minerva] How about his tail?

[Garfield] No! Help!
Please, Pooky, save me!

And when those two hounds
had me cornered in that alleyway,

I pounced on a garbage bin,
climbed over a fence and fa-woosh!

Made my way out across the rooftops!

Wow, Harry, you are so brave!

Yeah, that's nothing compared
to what happened to me last week when I...

-[Harry and Arlene laughing]
-[Arlene] Oh, Garfield.

-What's so funny?
-Uh, Nothing. [laughs]

Garfield, it's just that you've always
been such a domestic pet...

When was the last time
you did anything remotely cat-like?

Only yesterday, I watched TV all afternoon

and then had a full tray of lasagna...

See, Garfield, that stuff
doesn't really qualify as cat-like.

And you know all of this because...?

"Get in Touch with Your Inner Cat."

It sounds like a lot of baloney to me,
which reminds me, I'm hungry.

Let's see.

"Chapter One. Cats hunt mice threatening
the safety of their household."

Hiya, Garfield. What's up?

Hiya, Squeak. I'm good.

[snarls]

Wow, that was pretty good.
You almost had me.

Harry and Arlene are right.

I'm so out of touch
with my natural instinct.

I've gotta do something about it.

"Chapter Two. Cats climb trees."

What if I get stuck up there
and can't get down?

Not like it would be the first time.

Come on, Garfield. Act like a cat!

[straining]

[chirp!]

[bird chirping]

Hey, leave me alone.

Aaah...

-[bird chirps]
-Ouch! Hey!

"Get in touch with your inner cat," huh?

Next time, I'll stick to mauling the sofa!

There's really no need
to go all panicky over this.

It's only a matter of minutes
before someone rescues me.

Help! Please, somebody save me! Help!

-Please, save me! Help!
-[loud accordion music playing]

Help!

If Jon can't hear me,
I know someone who will!

[blows whistle]

-[barks]
-[Garfield] Yes!

I'm happy to see you too, Odie.
Now be a good dog and go fetch Jon!

[barking]

That's not Jon. That's his slippers!

I want you to go fetch Jon!

[barks]

-[crash!]
-No!

-No, no, no!
-[Odie] Huh?

If that dog was any dumber, he'd have to
stand on a chair to raise his IQ.

Just go away, Odie. You're useless.

[Odie yipping]

You? Climbing up a tree? [laughs]
Not in a million years.

Ta-da!

[bird chirping]

[yips] Ta-da!

Great. Now we're both stuck up
in this stupid tree.

-[dog barks]
-[Nermal screaming]

-[dog snarling]
-Hi, guys.

Of all the trees in all the world,
you had to pick mine.

-[Nermal laughs]
-[dog barking]

-Uh, do you guys know how to get down?
-Let's see...

"Cats have the natural tendency
to always land gracefully on their feet."

How about you jump off? We'll watch.

What if no one finds us, what if we're
here for weeks deprived of food and water?

Gee, Nermal, why do you always have to be
such a wiener head?

-Hiya, guys! What gives?
-Huh?

Oh, we're just...

-enjoying the breathtaking scenery!
-[Nermal muttering]

Oh, I see. I was under the impression
you might be, you know,

stuck up there.

[Garfield laughs feebly]

Yes, right. Stuck in a tree?
Why, I say...

And what could possibly
make you think that I,

a perfectly normal feline,
could get stuck in a tree?

Well, I don't know, if you say so.
Enjoy the scenery!

Why did you lie to him, Garfield?
He could have helped us!

To salvage my eroded reputation, Nermal.
And yours too.

[Odie yipping]

-Help! Over here! Help!
-Help! Over here! Help me!

-[Odie yelping]
-[loud music on headset]

Huh?

I need to buy myself a new pair.
Way too much static.

[Garfield] Over here! Help!

Garfield? Nermal? Odie?

You're up in a tree!

And the grass is green, Captain Obvious.

How on earth did the three of you
get stuck up there?

Oh, we're not stuck.
We're just gathering pine cones.

Perhaps you'd like to join us?

Come on, Garfield, don't be a scaredy-cat!
You can do this.

It's easy. Look!

Climb up. Climb down.

Up, down. Up, down.

Just go fetch that big ladder over there

and spare us the climbing tutorial,
will you?

Climb up, and climb d... [shrieking]

I'm gonna break my neck! Somebody, help!

Who's the scaredy-cat now, pray tell?

[Jon] Mr. Mailman, sir. Over here!

Mr. Arbuckle?

Do you think you could pass me
that big ladder over there?

[mailman] Sure.

Then again,
if I pretend I didn't hear you,

I could carry on with my morning delivery

without any fears of getting maimed
by your mangy creatures.

Did you just call me mangy?

I was voted "Cutest Cat of the County"
three times in a row, buddy!

-Take that, you letter-carrier, you!
-That's telling them, Nermal!

Ouch, ouch! You mean little furballs!

Guys, guys, stop it.

Ouch! Ouch!

He totally had it coming.

Congratulations, guys.

You've just chased away
the only help we could get.

Meow?

I know! We'll form a chain
and lower one of us to the ground

so that he can get the ladder!
It's got to work!

Who wants to volunteer?

Fine. We'll draw sticks.

Oh, great.

I can't believe
I let them talk me into this.

[Jon] Garfield, you can let go now!

[growling]

-Oh, my...
-[dog] Garfield!

Help! Pull me up! Pull me up!

Garfield, hang on!

That's exactly what I'm doing!

Odie's tongue's all slippery! Disgusting!

[Garfield] Guys, I'm hanging on
for dear life here!

[straining]

[thud!]

[snarling]

Sorry, Garfield. At least we tried.

Oh, but wait.
I forgot about my cell phone!

I'm calling Liz at the vet clinic...
And tell her what?

Please come and rescue
your boyfriend from a tree?

Way too humiliating. Even for me.

Oh, please! Can't you put
your male pride aside for a sec?

This is an emergency situation
we've got here!

Sorry, guys. I don't want Liz to realize
I'm a complete dork.

But I guess I could call 911.
It's their jobs to rescue people, right?

And Liz won't have to know about it!

We'll be down out of this tree in no time.

[siren wailing, horn blaring]

What are you doing
in the top of that tree?

I was just trying
to rescue these guys and...

And that's when I sprained my ankle! Ouch!

Well, it's no Oscar-winning performance,
but maybe he'll buy it.

Let me help you, sir.

[phone rings]

A fire on Broadway and Fifth?
Yup, roger that. We're on our way!

-[siren wailing, horn blowing]
-Hey! Come back! Come back!

[straining]

[thud!]

Oopsy-doopsy.

Sometimes, I get a little squeamish
about heights.

Really? Aren't you guys trained
for this sort of situation?

I'm a fireman, not a monkey!

This is getting ridiculous.

At this rate, the entire neighborhood
will join us in this tree!

[thunder rumbling]

[bird chirping]

I guess it can't get any worse, right?

[thunder crashes]

[crash!]

[thud!]

[Nermal] We made it!

Oh, boy, I just can't wait to watch TV,
eat lasagna and do all non-cat things.

-[Odie yips]
-[bird chirps]

See? It wasn't so bad, was it? I--

[screams]

[snarling]

[all] No!

-[bird chirps]
-[Jon shuddering]

Yes, right! Stuck in a tree.

[Garfield laughs]