The Garcias (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - Two Peas In A Chultun - full transcript
[Upbeat music]
With my dad and Tío George
still fighting,
doubt was growing
in Casa Garcia
about whether they'd ever
sit at the same table again.
Ana, could you please
tell Carlos
to stop spilling crumbs
all over our house?
You just did.
Yunjin, can you please tell
George he's not the boss of me?
Well, he does
own the company, so...
Good news.
Now that I've finished my book,
we're in full marketing mode.
I have a copy here
if anyone wants to read it.
How many pages is that?
Well, it's just 452.
[quirky music]
Not everyone all at once,
all right?
Oh, no matter
when we read it,
we're all very proud
of your work.
Well, my work's not finished.
They still want a picture of me
for the back cover.
So I was thinking like...
[♪ ♪]
Yes, let's keep thinking.
[upbeat music]
[♪ ♪]
*GARCIAS*
Season 01 Episode 07
Episode Title: "Two Peas in a Chultun"
Aired on: April 28, 2022.
Since Tía Lorena
has decided to devote
all her attention to Max,
she has become his coach,
and one can say she's going
a little overboard.
Done, done, done.
Eight minutes flat.
A new record.
What's this?
Max is entering
the local cooking competition.
I hope it all "pans" out.
So who's ready
for some breakfast tacos
with a jelly bean reduction
on top?
- Ooh!
- Jelly beans?
Each round
has mandatory ingredients.
So to help Max prep,
I've been putting together
some interesting pantry combos.
Wow, that is so good.
- Thank you.
- Mmm.
Yeah, so we make
a pretty good team.
We're even thinking
of getting matching
"Max and Mom" T-shirts
for the competition.
Aw.
I said I'd think about it.
Well, Max isn't the only
talented one in the family.
Check out my first
commissioned art piece.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, my gosh.
- For you, Victoria.
Awesome.
So worth the price.
What can I say?
I really needed you
to do my chores this week.
Thanks.
[chuckles]
[speaking Spanish]
- That's so pretty.
- Gracias, Tía.
So, Andrea,
have you heard back
from that STEM fellowship yet?
No, but the website says
I should hear back soon.
Fingers crossed.
Oh, honey, they'd be fools
not to accept you.
Oh, my God.
Dr. Bradford Kiley is gonna be
in Puerto Aventuras today
to do a book signing.
- [chuckles]
- Who?
The Walter J. Cooley
of Mayan studies.
That's a...
- No one? Really?
- No.
Oh, my God.
Big Ken and Bigger Pam
from that reality show
"Loving Large" got married.
- No!
- Oh, my God.
- You're kidding.
- I love them.
[overlapping speech]
You're lucky I don't love
you all for your minds.
[upbeat music]
Oh, my goodness.
He looks
just like his pictures.
Hi. Oh.
Wh... what if he asks my name
and I accidentally say "Bray"?
Do I just pretend
that my name is Bray?
You're over thinking things,
Bray.
Bye-bye.
Hello, or as they say
in Yucatec Mayan,
- ba'ax ka wa'alik.
- [laughs]
Ba'ax ka wa'alik, indeed.
Oh, it's an honor
to meet you, Dr. Kiley.
- My name's...
- Ray.
Ray, and I am a big fan
of your work.
Well, thank you.
- And I'm Sonia, Ray's wife.
- Pleasure.
And you must
be pretty important,
'cause I haven't seen him
this excited since...
Well, he's never
been this excited.
[laughs]
I have a few things
for you to sign.
Oh, of course.
It would be my pleasure.
So, Ray,
what is it that you do?
Oh, you know, a little
of this, a little of that.
What?
Ray, you are the former Dean
of a university.
- Wow.
- Oh, yeah, she's right.
I was. Yeah.
And you literally
just finished
writing a book about the Maya.
Wow, I didn't know
I was in the presence
of a fellow author
about the Maya.
I'd love to read
your book, Ray.
What?
You would really read my book,
Dr. Kiley?
Well, you know, I just Maya.
[laughter]
Well, I think you're
in for a treat,
because "Chichen Itza"
good read.
[laughter]
That's good.
[light percussive music]
[♪ ♪]
Are you eating floor popcorn?
It's still popcorn.
Whoa, is Andrea okay?
She didn't make
her STEM fellowship.
I feel so bad.
I just hate seeing her
like this.
I guess a new interest
wouldn't hurt.
Maybe she can help me
make dinner,
just to get her mind
off things.
[gasps]
That is a great idea.
Max could really use
the night off.
We've been training like crazy
for this competition,
and you know what they say.
Losers never win.
- I don't think they say that.
- Yeah, they do.
Okay, come on, Andrea,
put that down.
You're gonna help me
make dinner.
- Sure.
- You're gonna be okay.
- I promise.
- I love you.
Let's go. Come on.
Check it out.
I posted a pic of your painting
to my IG yesterday,
and it's gotten so many likes.
That's cool, but I don't
paint for the likes.
I do it for me.
So you don't care
that people are commenting
that it's the best art
they've ever seen
or that you're
the reincarnation
of María Izquierdo?
María Izquierdo?
Seriously?
Let me see!
[upbeat music]
Are you sure you're gonna
finish all of this?
That smells so good.
You can smell that
all the way inside the house.
Mm, what is it?
Tofu bulgogi.
Want to try some?
- Yes.
- Claro que si.
Both: Mmm.
Está riquísimo.
I wish I had a time machine
so I could
try it for the first time
all over again.
These meals you've
been making have been so good,
and you two make it look
like so much fun.
Oh, it has been fun,
hasn't it, Andrea?
It's actually scientific
when the ingredients combined.
A blurb!
He's giving me a blurb.
What, Ray? Slow down.
What's happening?
Dr. Kiley read my book,
and he loved it.
This is huge!
I thought the book
would do okay, but a blurb?
And now he says he wants
to have lunch sometime.
This is the greatest day
of my life.
[laughs]
Is this the first time anyone
has ever asked him
to have lunch?
No, honey, but his
other friends do not really
appreciate Mayan puns, so
he's kind of hit the jackpot.
That makes sense.
Senorita, I just
looked up Dr. Kiley.
Do you know that he's
withholding Mayan artifacts
from Mexico so he can keep them
at the Worthington
Antiquities Museum?
- Are you 100% positive?
- Yeah.
Oh, please let it be
another Dr. Kiley,
'cause Ray's so excited
about his new friend.
I know.
[laughs]
Oh!
Oh, no, no.
Hey, Pop.
What's so funny?
Oh, my new BFF just sent
this hilarious joke.
What is a Mayan god's
favorite candy?
Chaac-olate.
[laughs]
Chaac.
[laughs]
Hold on.
You see, it's funny because
Chaac is the Mayan god
of rain and lightning.
But obviously
not the god of jokes.
I'm sorry it's not more
your comedic speed,
like a fart.
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, Carlos.
Oh, looks like playtime
at the beach is over.
- Hey, Dad, could you tell Carl...
- Guys, will you stop it?
Can you guys grow up?
Ooh, my friend Bradford's here.
[♪ ♪]
Hey, Dad, guess what.
My painting is getting
rave reviews online.
See?
This person wrote
that my work was inspiring.
- Aw.
- And this...
oh.
This person wrote that
my painting made no sense.
They called it dumb.
Yeah, but maybe
they were joking, though.
Look at all those clown emojis.
That means they think
I'm a joke.
[scoffs]
I don't think so.
People send me that emoji
all the time.
- Wait.
- Ah, there's more.
Look, this person said
his iguana has more
artistic talent than me.
Okay, yeah,
but are we really gonna listen
to the opinion of someone
who owns an iguana?
Come on.
22 people
liked his comment, Dad.
22! [Groans]
22?
People are just...
[gentle music]
[♪ ♪]
Sonia, have you told Ray
about his "new friend"
Dr. Kiley?
Um, I... mm. Maybe?
I can't recall.
Well, don't forget,
I've been very busy
because our little secret.
I'm working again.
Hmm. Mira.
I know he's Ray's new BFF,
but those artifacts
belong here in Mexico,
not some American museum,
verdad?
You know, maybe I should just
go up there right now
- and talk to them.
- No, no.
I will go.
I will do it.
I will tell them
exactly how you feel.
Angry, right?
Just checking.
- [laughter]
- Oh, yeah.
Hey, mi amor,
can you believe
he brought pulque?
- Oh, it's not easy to find.
- It is strong.
I brought snacks
and some chocolate.
You know,
some anthropologists believe
chocolate was used as a form
of currency in ancient Maya.
This snack would be
worth a fortune.
Guess you never know
what could be worth a fortune.
- Mm.
- Like this bowl.
This bowl?
I'd put it at $5.
- Well, 10 at most.
- 10 at most.
The point is,
we would never bring this bowl
back with us to America
because that would be wrong,
right?
It belongs here in Mexico,
where it was made.
Says it's made in Taiwan.
[groans]
Sorry to interrupt,
but, Ray...
[speaks Mayan]
[laughs] Oh.
He wants
the little Mayan's room.
Yeah, down the hall
to the left.
Thanks.
I'll be right back.
[sighs]
Sonia, you really want
this bowl?
It's not even microwavable.
Oh, Ray,
the bowl is a metaphor.
Dr. Kiley is keeping
ancient Mayan artifacts
locked up in a museum
at his university.
They belong here in Mexico.
Ana told me all about it.
Okay, okay, okay,
I'm sure she's wrong,
but I'll find time
to ask Brad about it.
He said I could call him Brad.
Ray, I just had
the greatest idea.
I should use your book
in my curriculum.
- What do you think?
- What?
So people would have to buy it?
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh! Oh!
Isn't he great?
Oh, great. Just great.
[light music]
Are you excited?
Are you ready?
- Oh, good.
- Yeah, should be fun.
Gracias.
Okay, Max, I cannot wait
to watch you mop the floor
with those kids.
That golden cleaver
is as good as yours.
Is that Andrea?
- Andrea!
- Hi.
- Hey, guys.
- Hi.
What are you guys doing here?
I signed up
for the competition.
Really? Awesome.
This is gonna be so much fun.
So fun. Super fun.
Yunjin, do you have
a moment to speak?
Sure.
- Why did you sign Andrea up?
- Why not?
It was your idea
for her to try new things.
New things, not Max's thing.
Okay, well,
after she made dinner
the other night,
she wanted to try this.
And you know,
she really needs something.
I just don't want to
break her little heart
when she loses.
Who says she's going to lose?
Well, Max is obviously
going to win,
so you better get comfortable
with that.
[♪ ♪]
[scoffs]
[dramatic Western music]
- They're so weird.
- Weird.
[♪ ♪]
Hey, Alexa.
How about we go get some gelato
or something, Kay?
What do you think?
Go for a walk?
Get some fresh air?
What do you think?
You didn't like that one?
I can't get all those
negative comments
out of my head, Papi.
Hey, okay,
what about all those
positive ones
you showed me, though?
You know, the ones from
people who don't own lizards?
But what if all
the positive people are wrong
and all the negative people
are right?
Listen, maybe it's good that
you're experiencing this now,
you know, because you
could always choose
to do something different
if you wanted, anything.
I... what about a lawyer?
Lawyers always seem so happy,
especially on
the sides of buses.
They have numbers
that are easy to remember...
I get it, Dad.
You've made it clear that you
don't want me to be a painter,
so guess what.
You win.
- Alexa, I don't mean it...
- Just leave me alone.
[somber music]
Okay.
[♪ ♪]
So bored.
Come on, Max.
The competition is tomorrow.
We have to really
up the intensity.
This is just step one
of your chef destiny.
Lorena, we reserved
the kitchen after 2:00.
Maybe we could
share the kitchen.
Oh no, sweetie,
that wouldn't be fair to you.
Yunjin's right. We'll go.
I mean, after all,
it is all about the children.
Oh, absolutely
all about the children.
It's definitely not
all about the children.
Mm, needs salt.
Salt!
That's what was missing.
You knew that.
He knew that.
That's plastic.
I knew that.
I knew that.
You didn't know that, Mom.
[♪ ♪]
[clears throat]
Sonia already told me
all about it.
So what are you
gonna do about it?
Now, Ana, there's always
two sides to every issue.
Yes, the right one
and the wrong one.
Are you really selling out
because he's giving you
some burp?
First of all,
it's not a burp.
- It's a blurb.
- Whatever.
And second,
there is no second.
It's a blurb
from Dr. Bradford Kiley.
Just so you know, I have
decided to organize a protest
of Dr. Kiley's lecture series
while he's down here,
and it will be nice if someone
in your position join us.
- A protest?
- Yes.
- Me?
- Mm-hmm.
[chuckles]
Oh, I don't know.
- [phone buzzing]
- Is that him?
- Let me see.
- No, no, no.
It's my phone.
Only I can play with it.
Wait. Sonia!
[applause]
Bienvenidos
and welcome to Diced: Kids.
[scream]
[cheers and applause]
I am your judge and host,
Mr. Rico Cruz.
[cheers and applause]
Two rounds, ten minutes each.
Are you guys ready?
All: Yeah.
Are you guys ready?
All: Yeah!
Is this seat taken?
Brad,
what are you doing here?
I love cooking competitions.
Plus, I wanted to tell you
in person that
Worthington wants to use
your book for my classes.
I just have to give
the go-ahead and it's official.
I "Kukul-kan't" believe it.
[both laughing]
Con permiso.
Uh, I'm saving this seat
for Carlos.
Oh, he won't mind.
This year, we have
a special mystery ingredient.
It's been a top-secret secret.
I guess I don't have
to hold my tongue anymore.
[all groaning]
[retching]
Hey, hey, hey,
you're supposed to cook lunch,
not toss your lunch.
You're diced!
[metal slashes]
Round one starts now.
Go, go.
[exciting music]
Thought an art show
might raise your spirits.
Wow.
What do you think
about this one?
I think it's amazing.
You know, I bet life wasn't
always easy for this artist.
Probably went through the same
kind of struggles
you're going through now.
- How would you know that?
- Because I told him.
Lex, this is Lupe Martinez.
She's the artist
who painted this.
- Hi.
- Alexa, what if I told you
some people say that
my paintings were terrible?
I think they'd miss out
on so much of your great art.
As an artist you have to
listen to the voice
in your head.
[speaking Spanish]
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate you
meeting with me.
- Claro que si.
- Lupe.
- If you will excuse me.
- Thanks, Lupe.
- That's pretty cool, huh?
- Yup, pretty cool.
But this is deeper, Dad.
You don't know what it's like
to have your artistic dreams
crushed.
Oh, I know.
Take a look at this guy.
He had his dreams crushed.
Who's the guy
with the crazy hair?
That's me.
That's me as DJ Koux Tun.
I was actually pretty good.
I was really good.
So what happened?
Why'd you stop?
Truth is, I got scared.
Doubted if I was making
the right choices.
Doubted if I was good enough.
That hair manbun thing
was definitely not
the right choice.
Okay, it was a style, okay?
Lex, listen to me.
You are a great artist,
and the path to success
is hard.
I just never want you
to suffer.
But more importantly,
I don't want you to give up
on your dreams because of me.
Today, I learned my dad
would always have my back.
Thanks, Papi,
that means a lot to me.
Oh, wow.
Your lengua enchiladas
are a master class
of what lengua enchiladas
should never be.
[crowd groans]
I've tasted horrible things
in my life
and that is one of them.
You're diced.
[crowd groans]
- Very good, sweetheart.
- You did great.
That leaves us with our last
three surviving contestants.
[cheers and applause]
The next round will commence
in precisely...
five minutes.
Contestants,
prep your stations.
You got this, Diego.
Easy work.
Hey, Ray, perhaps you can
visit Worthington in the fall.
I have some flexibility
in my curriculum
if you'd like
to do a guest lecture.
- That would be...
- Oh, is that the same
curriculum where you talk about
the Mayan artifacts that
you have taken from
the rightful people and land?
Uh, taken
is such a strong word.
Those artifacts
weren't taken.
They were donated.
Donated.
[laughs]
Que chistoso.
By who?
People like Edward Thompson
who drained El Cenote Sagrado?
I'm sorry, who are you?
I am Ana,
his daughter-in-law,
and I'll be protesting outside
at every single stop
of your lecture series.
Protesting
is such a strong word.
You're protesting me?
You should be thanking me.
Perdon?
These common folk don't know
how to appreciate these pieces.
- It would be a waste.
- Really?
We were this close to being
best friends for life.
I'm sorry to say this,
but Ana is right.
So you'll be protesting
outside my lecture
tomorrow afternoon too, Ray?
I'm afraid so.
I know this
will probably be the end
of the curriculum thing,
but can you still write
that blurb for me?
Oh, I'll give you a blurb.
I don't think I want
that blurb.
You did the right thing,
suegrito.
You don't need
that fancy blurb.
You wrote
such a beautiful book.
People will love it.
Thank you for being the only
Garcia to read my book.
Of course.
Si. Que bueno.
[air horn blares]
And we are back.
- Contestants, get ready.
- Turn up the heat, Andrea.
Come on. No mercy, Max.
The final round starts now.
[cheers and applause]
Salt it
like you mean it, Diego.
Salt it, salt it, salt it.
Come on,
keep your head in the game.
What are you thinking?
[speaks Spanish]
What are you doing?
You wanna let
these amateurs win?
- Oh, way to go Max and Andrea.
- Nice sportsmanship, Andrea.
Oh, that's good.
That's good.
No, no, no, no, no.
No clapping yet.
We don't have a winner.
What's wrong with you people?
Look, you keep cooking.
Keep cooking.
Keep cooking... oh.
Oh.
- [groans]
- [laughs]
- That...
- Oh, you think that's funny?
Oh, no, no, no food fighting.
Both: Food fight.
- [laughs]
- No.
[groans]
[groans]
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
[upbeat music]
Within all of us,
there is faith and doubt,
and it's how you manage both
that defines you.
So believe in yourself
and know that with your family
by your side,
goodness always prevails.
Todo para la familia.
Everything for the family.
We made a Mexican-Korean
fusion dish,
kimchi tlayuda.
Oh, you two make
such an excellent team.
You guys could totally take
this fusion thing on the road.
Launch a trendy food truck,
maybe...
Mom.
Or you could
just have fun cooking.
I started
a new painting today.
That's great, my love.
I'm just glad that
you're not gonna be
listening to anyone else's
voice but your own.
Oh, my God.
Banksy just liked your post
on IG.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Banksy just liked
my post on IG.
Banksy, Dad.
Banksy's, like,
the one exception.
- What?
- [screeches]
So, suegrito,
first protest in the books.
I am so proud of you.
It takes guts to stand up
for your beliefs.
Well, like the Mayans say...
[speaks Mayan]
Never mind.
I miss Brad.
I think he waved at me
at the protest.
I don't think
that was a wave.
- [groans]
- [laughs]
Oh, you're still here.
Never mind,
I'm not that hungry.
- Don't worry, I'll go.
- Not if I go first.
- [laughter]
- Unbelievable.
This has gotten so childish.
Right?
If Carlos will just...
Carols?
No, George needs to apologize.
Perdon?
You know,
I think I'm gonna go.
Not if I go first.
Buenas noches, familia.
Unbelievable.
Sorry, Mom.
I love you.
Let's just enjoy this
wonderful meal the kids made.
- All right?
- Good job.
We'll resolve
everything later.
Okay.
♪ How do the stars realign ♪
♪ The twinkle in your eyes ♪
♪ Was better
than the moonlit sky ♪
♪ That's when I knew,
oh, then I knew ♪
♪ That this was paradise ♪
♪ Paradise, paradise ♪
♪ This was paradise ♪
♪ Paradise, paradise ♪
♪ This is ♪
♪ Paradise, paradise ♪
[♪ ♪]
♪ Maybe we can escape ♪
♪ You and me, anyplace ♪
♪ That feels right with you ♪
With my dad and Tío George
still fighting,
doubt was growing
in Casa Garcia
about whether they'd ever
sit at the same table again.
Ana, could you please
tell Carlos
to stop spilling crumbs
all over our house?
You just did.
Yunjin, can you please tell
George he's not the boss of me?
Well, he does
own the company, so...
Good news.
Now that I've finished my book,
we're in full marketing mode.
I have a copy here
if anyone wants to read it.
How many pages is that?
Well, it's just 452.
[quirky music]
Not everyone all at once,
all right?
Oh, no matter
when we read it,
we're all very proud
of your work.
Well, my work's not finished.
They still want a picture of me
for the back cover.
So I was thinking like...
[♪ ♪]
Yes, let's keep thinking.
[upbeat music]
[♪ ♪]
*GARCIAS*
Season 01 Episode 07
Episode Title: "Two Peas in a Chultun"
Aired on: April 28, 2022.
Since Tía Lorena
has decided to devote
all her attention to Max,
she has become his coach,
and one can say she's going
a little overboard.
Done, done, done.
Eight minutes flat.
A new record.
What's this?
Max is entering
the local cooking competition.
I hope it all "pans" out.
So who's ready
for some breakfast tacos
with a jelly bean reduction
on top?
- Ooh!
- Jelly beans?
Each round
has mandatory ingredients.
So to help Max prep,
I've been putting together
some interesting pantry combos.
Wow, that is so good.
- Thank you.
- Mmm.
Yeah, so we make
a pretty good team.
We're even thinking
of getting matching
"Max and Mom" T-shirts
for the competition.
Aw.
I said I'd think about it.
Well, Max isn't the only
talented one in the family.
Check out my first
commissioned art piece.
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, my gosh.
- For you, Victoria.
Awesome.
So worth the price.
What can I say?
I really needed you
to do my chores this week.
Thanks.
[chuckles]
[speaking Spanish]
- That's so pretty.
- Gracias, Tía.
So, Andrea,
have you heard back
from that STEM fellowship yet?
No, but the website says
I should hear back soon.
Fingers crossed.
Oh, honey, they'd be fools
not to accept you.
Oh, my God.
Dr. Bradford Kiley is gonna be
in Puerto Aventuras today
to do a book signing.
- [chuckles]
- Who?
The Walter J. Cooley
of Mayan studies.
That's a...
- No one? Really?
- No.
Oh, my God.
Big Ken and Bigger Pam
from that reality show
"Loving Large" got married.
- No!
- Oh, my God.
- You're kidding.
- I love them.
[overlapping speech]
You're lucky I don't love
you all for your minds.
[upbeat music]
Oh, my goodness.
He looks
just like his pictures.
Hi. Oh.
Wh... what if he asks my name
and I accidentally say "Bray"?
Do I just pretend
that my name is Bray?
You're over thinking things,
Bray.
Bye-bye.
Hello, or as they say
in Yucatec Mayan,
- ba'ax ka wa'alik.
- [laughs]
Ba'ax ka wa'alik, indeed.
Oh, it's an honor
to meet you, Dr. Kiley.
- My name's...
- Ray.
Ray, and I am a big fan
of your work.
Well, thank you.
- And I'm Sonia, Ray's wife.
- Pleasure.
And you must
be pretty important,
'cause I haven't seen him
this excited since...
Well, he's never
been this excited.
[laughs]
I have a few things
for you to sign.
Oh, of course.
It would be my pleasure.
So, Ray,
what is it that you do?
Oh, you know, a little
of this, a little of that.
What?
Ray, you are the former Dean
of a university.
- Wow.
- Oh, yeah, she's right.
I was. Yeah.
And you literally
just finished
writing a book about the Maya.
Wow, I didn't know
I was in the presence
of a fellow author
about the Maya.
I'd love to read
your book, Ray.
What?
You would really read my book,
Dr. Kiley?
Well, you know, I just Maya.
[laughter]
Well, I think you're
in for a treat,
because "Chichen Itza"
good read.
[laughter]
That's good.
[light percussive music]
[♪ ♪]
Are you eating floor popcorn?
It's still popcorn.
Whoa, is Andrea okay?
She didn't make
her STEM fellowship.
I feel so bad.
I just hate seeing her
like this.
I guess a new interest
wouldn't hurt.
Maybe she can help me
make dinner,
just to get her mind
off things.
[gasps]
That is a great idea.
Max could really use
the night off.
We've been training like crazy
for this competition,
and you know what they say.
Losers never win.
- I don't think they say that.
- Yeah, they do.
Okay, come on, Andrea,
put that down.
You're gonna help me
make dinner.
- Sure.
- You're gonna be okay.
- I promise.
- I love you.
Let's go. Come on.
Check it out.
I posted a pic of your painting
to my IG yesterday,
and it's gotten so many likes.
That's cool, but I don't
paint for the likes.
I do it for me.
So you don't care
that people are commenting
that it's the best art
they've ever seen
or that you're
the reincarnation
of María Izquierdo?
María Izquierdo?
Seriously?
Let me see!
[upbeat music]
Are you sure you're gonna
finish all of this?
That smells so good.
You can smell that
all the way inside the house.
Mm, what is it?
Tofu bulgogi.
Want to try some?
- Yes.
- Claro que si.
Both: Mmm.
Está riquísimo.
I wish I had a time machine
so I could
try it for the first time
all over again.
These meals you've
been making have been so good,
and you two make it look
like so much fun.
Oh, it has been fun,
hasn't it, Andrea?
It's actually scientific
when the ingredients combined.
A blurb!
He's giving me a blurb.
What, Ray? Slow down.
What's happening?
Dr. Kiley read my book,
and he loved it.
This is huge!
I thought the book
would do okay, but a blurb?
And now he says he wants
to have lunch sometime.
This is the greatest day
of my life.
[laughs]
Is this the first time anyone
has ever asked him
to have lunch?
No, honey, but his
other friends do not really
appreciate Mayan puns, so
he's kind of hit the jackpot.
That makes sense.
Senorita, I just
looked up Dr. Kiley.
Do you know that he's
withholding Mayan artifacts
from Mexico so he can keep them
at the Worthington
Antiquities Museum?
- Are you 100% positive?
- Yeah.
Oh, please let it be
another Dr. Kiley,
'cause Ray's so excited
about his new friend.
I know.
[laughs]
Oh!
Oh, no, no.
Hey, Pop.
What's so funny?
Oh, my new BFF just sent
this hilarious joke.
What is a Mayan god's
favorite candy?
Chaac-olate.
[laughs]
Chaac.
[laughs]
Hold on.
You see, it's funny because
Chaac is the Mayan god
of rain and lightning.
But obviously
not the god of jokes.
I'm sorry it's not more
your comedic speed,
like a fart.
- Hey, Dad.
- Hey, Carlos.
Oh, looks like playtime
at the beach is over.
- Hey, Dad, could you tell Carl...
- Guys, will you stop it?
Can you guys grow up?
Ooh, my friend Bradford's here.
[♪ ♪]
Hey, Dad, guess what.
My painting is getting
rave reviews online.
See?
This person wrote
that my work was inspiring.
- Aw.
- And this...
oh.
This person wrote that
my painting made no sense.
They called it dumb.
Yeah, but maybe
they were joking, though.
Look at all those clown emojis.
That means they think
I'm a joke.
[scoffs]
I don't think so.
People send me that emoji
all the time.
- Wait.
- Ah, there's more.
Look, this person said
his iguana has more
artistic talent than me.
Okay, yeah,
but are we really gonna listen
to the opinion of someone
who owns an iguana?
Come on.
22 people
liked his comment, Dad.
22! [Groans]
22?
People are just...
[gentle music]
[♪ ♪]
Sonia, have you told Ray
about his "new friend"
Dr. Kiley?
Um, I... mm. Maybe?
I can't recall.
Well, don't forget,
I've been very busy
because our little secret.
I'm working again.
Hmm. Mira.
I know he's Ray's new BFF,
but those artifacts
belong here in Mexico,
not some American museum,
verdad?
You know, maybe I should just
go up there right now
- and talk to them.
- No, no.
I will go.
I will do it.
I will tell them
exactly how you feel.
Angry, right?
Just checking.
- [laughter]
- Oh, yeah.
Hey, mi amor,
can you believe
he brought pulque?
- Oh, it's not easy to find.
- It is strong.
I brought snacks
and some chocolate.
You know,
some anthropologists believe
chocolate was used as a form
of currency in ancient Maya.
This snack would be
worth a fortune.
Guess you never know
what could be worth a fortune.
- Mm.
- Like this bowl.
This bowl?
I'd put it at $5.
- Well, 10 at most.
- 10 at most.
The point is,
we would never bring this bowl
back with us to America
because that would be wrong,
right?
It belongs here in Mexico,
where it was made.
Says it's made in Taiwan.
[groans]
Sorry to interrupt,
but, Ray...
[speaks Mayan]
[laughs] Oh.
He wants
the little Mayan's room.
Yeah, down the hall
to the left.
Thanks.
I'll be right back.
[sighs]
Sonia, you really want
this bowl?
It's not even microwavable.
Oh, Ray,
the bowl is a metaphor.
Dr. Kiley is keeping
ancient Mayan artifacts
locked up in a museum
at his university.
They belong here in Mexico.
Ana told me all about it.
Okay, okay, okay,
I'm sure she's wrong,
but I'll find time
to ask Brad about it.
He said I could call him Brad.
Ray, I just had
the greatest idea.
I should use your book
in my curriculum.
- What do you think?
- What?
So people would have to buy it?
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh! Oh!
Isn't he great?
Oh, great. Just great.
[light music]
Are you excited?
Are you ready?
- Oh, good.
- Yeah, should be fun.
Gracias.
Okay, Max, I cannot wait
to watch you mop the floor
with those kids.
That golden cleaver
is as good as yours.
Is that Andrea?
- Andrea!
- Hi.
- Hey, guys.
- Hi.
What are you guys doing here?
I signed up
for the competition.
Really? Awesome.
This is gonna be so much fun.
So fun. Super fun.
Yunjin, do you have
a moment to speak?
Sure.
- Why did you sign Andrea up?
- Why not?
It was your idea
for her to try new things.
New things, not Max's thing.
Okay, well,
after she made dinner
the other night,
she wanted to try this.
And you know,
she really needs something.
I just don't want to
break her little heart
when she loses.
Who says she's going to lose?
Well, Max is obviously
going to win,
so you better get comfortable
with that.
[♪ ♪]
[scoffs]
[dramatic Western music]
- They're so weird.
- Weird.
[♪ ♪]
Hey, Alexa.
How about we go get some gelato
or something, Kay?
What do you think?
Go for a walk?
Get some fresh air?
What do you think?
You didn't like that one?
I can't get all those
negative comments
out of my head, Papi.
Hey, okay,
what about all those
positive ones
you showed me, though?
You know, the ones from
people who don't own lizards?
But what if all
the positive people are wrong
and all the negative people
are right?
Listen, maybe it's good that
you're experiencing this now,
you know, because you
could always choose
to do something different
if you wanted, anything.
I... what about a lawyer?
Lawyers always seem so happy,
especially on
the sides of buses.
They have numbers
that are easy to remember...
I get it, Dad.
You've made it clear that you
don't want me to be a painter,
so guess what.
You win.
- Alexa, I don't mean it...
- Just leave me alone.
[somber music]
Okay.
[♪ ♪]
So bored.
Come on, Max.
The competition is tomorrow.
We have to really
up the intensity.
This is just step one
of your chef destiny.
Lorena, we reserved
the kitchen after 2:00.
Maybe we could
share the kitchen.
Oh no, sweetie,
that wouldn't be fair to you.
Yunjin's right. We'll go.
I mean, after all,
it is all about the children.
Oh, absolutely
all about the children.
It's definitely not
all about the children.
Mm, needs salt.
Salt!
That's what was missing.
You knew that.
He knew that.
That's plastic.
I knew that.
I knew that.
You didn't know that, Mom.
[♪ ♪]
[clears throat]
Sonia already told me
all about it.
So what are you
gonna do about it?
Now, Ana, there's always
two sides to every issue.
Yes, the right one
and the wrong one.
Are you really selling out
because he's giving you
some burp?
First of all,
it's not a burp.
- It's a blurb.
- Whatever.
And second,
there is no second.
It's a blurb
from Dr. Bradford Kiley.
Just so you know, I have
decided to organize a protest
of Dr. Kiley's lecture series
while he's down here,
and it will be nice if someone
in your position join us.
- A protest?
- Yes.
- Me?
- Mm-hmm.
[chuckles]
Oh, I don't know.
- [phone buzzing]
- Is that him?
- Let me see.
- No, no, no.
It's my phone.
Only I can play with it.
Wait. Sonia!
[applause]
Bienvenidos
and welcome to Diced: Kids.
[scream]
[cheers and applause]
I am your judge and host,
Mr. Rico Cruz.
[cheers and applause]
Two rounds, ten minutes each.
Are you guys ready?
All: Yeah.
Are you guys ready?
All: Yeah!
Is this seat taken?
Brad,
what are you doing here?
I love cooking competitions.
Plus, I wanted to tell you
in person that
Worthington wants to use
your book for my classes.
I just have to give
the go-ahead and it's official.
I "Kukul-kan't" believe it.
[both laughing]
Con permiso.
Uh, I'm saving this seat
for Carlos.
Oh, he won't mind.
This year, we have
a special mystery ingredient.
It's been a top-secret secret.
I guess I don't have
to hold my tongue anymore.
[all groaning]
[retching]
Hey, hey, hey,
you're supposed to cook lunch,
not toss your lunch.
You're diced!
[metal slashes]
Round one starts now.
Go, go.
[exciting music]
Thought an art show
might raise your spirits.
Wow.
What do you think
about this one?
I think it's amazing.
You know, I bet life wasn't
always easy for this artist.
Probably went through the same
kind of struggles
you're going through now.
- How would you know that?
- Because I told him.
Lex, this is Lupe Martinez.
She's the artist
who painted this.
- Hi.
- Alexa, what if I told you
some people say that
my paintings were terrible?
I think they'd miss out
on so much of your great art.
As an artist you have to
listen to the voice
in your head.
[speaking Spanish]
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate you
meeting with me.
- Claro que si.
- Lupe.
- If you will excuse me.
- Thanks, Lupe.
- That's pretty cool, huh?
- Yup, pretty cool.
But this is deeper, Dad.
You don't know what it's like
to have your artistic dreams
crushed.
Oh, I know.
Take a look at this guy.
He had his dreams crushed.
Who's the guy
with the crazy hair?
That's me.
That's me as DJ Koux Tun.
I was actually pretty good.
I was really good.
So what happened?
Why'd you stop?
Truth is, I got scared.
Doubted if I was making
the right choices.
Doubted if I was good enough.
That hair manbun thing
was definitely not
the right choice.
Okay, it was a style, okay?
Lex, listen to me.
You are a great artist,
and the path to success
is hard.
I just never want you
to suffer.
But more importantly,
I don't want you to give up
on your dreams because of me.
Today, I learned my dad
would always have my back.
Thanks, Papi,
that means a lot to me.
Oh, wow.
Your lengua enchiladas
are a master class
of what lengua enchiladas
should never be.
[crowd groans]
I've tasted horrible things
in my life
and that is one of them.
You're diced.
[crowd groans]
- Very good, sweetheart.
- You did great.
That leaves us with our last
three surviving contestants.
[cheers and applause]
The next round will commence
in precisely...
five minutes.
Contestants,
prep your stations.
You got this, Diego.
Easy work.
Hey, Ray, perhaps you can
visit Worthington in the fall.
I have some flexibility
in my curriculum
if you'd like
to do a guest lecture.
- That would be...
- Oh, is that the same
curriculum where you talk about
the Mayan artifacts that
you have taken from
the rightful people and land?
Uh, taken
is such a strong word.
Those artifacts
weren't taken.
They were donated.
Donated.
[laughs]
Que chistoso.
By who?
People like Edward Thompson
who drained El Cenote Sagrado?
I'm sorry, who are you?
I am Ana,
his daughter-in-law,
and I'll be protesting outside
at every single stop
of your lecture series.
Protesting
is such a strong word.
You're protesting me?
You should be thanking me.
Perdon?
These common folk don't know
how to appreciate these pieces.
- It would be a waste.
- Really?
We were this close to being
best friends for life.
I'm sorry to say this,
but Ana is right.
So you'll be protesting
outside my lecture
tomorrow afternoon too, Ray?
I'm afraid so.
I know this
will probably be the end
of the curriculum thing,
but can you still write
that blurb for me?
Oh, I'll give you a blurb.
I don't think I want
that blurb.
You did the right thing,
suegrito.
You don't need
that fancy blurb.
You wrote
such a beautiful book.
People will love it.
Thank you for being the only
Garcia to read my book.
Of course.
Si. Que bueno.
[air horn blares]
And we are back.
- Contestants, get ready.
- Turn up the heat, Andrea.
Come on. No mercy, Max.
The final round starts now.
[cheers and applause]
Salt it
like you mean it, Diego.
Salt it, salt it, salt it.
Come on,
keep your head in the game.
What are you thinking?
[speaks Spanish]
What are you doing?
You wanna let
these amateurs win?
- Oh, way to go Max and Andrea.
- Nice sportsmanship, Andrea.
Oh, that's good.
That's good.
No, no, no, no, no.
No clapping yet.
We don't have a winner.
What's wrong with you people?
Look, you keep cooking.
Keep cooking.
Keep cooking... oh.
Oh.
- [groans]
- [laughs]
- That...
- Oh, you think that's funny?
Oh, no, no, no food fighting.
Both: Food fight.
- [laughs]
- No.
[groans]
[groans]
[laughter]
[cheers and applause]
[upbeat music]
Within all of us,
there is faith and doubt,
and it's how you manage both
that defines you.
So believe in yourself
and know that with your family
by your side,
goodness always prevails.
Todo para la familia.
Everything for the family.
We made a Mexican-Korean
fusion dish,
kimchi tlayuda.
Oh, you two make
such an excellent team.
You guys could totally take
this fusion thing on the road.
Launch a trendy food truck,
maybe...
Mom.
Or you could
just have fun cooking.
I started
a new painting today.
That's great, my love.
I'm just glad that
you're not gonna be
listening to anyone else's
voice but your own.
Oh, my God.
Banksy just liked your post
on IG.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Banksy just liked
my post on IG.
Banksy, Dad.
Banksy's, like,
the one exception.
- What?
- [screeches]
So, suegrito,
first protest in the books.
I am so proud of you.
It takes guts to stand up
for your beliefs.
Well, like the Mayans say...
[speaks Mayan]
Never mind.
I miss Brad.
I think he waved at me
at the protest.
I don't think
that was a wave.
- [groans]
- [laughs]
Oh, you're still here.
Never mind,
I'm not that hungry.
- Don't worry, I'll go.
- Not if I go first.
- [laughter]
- Unbelievable.
This has gotten so childish.
Right?
If Carlos will just...
Carols?
No, George needs to apologize.
Perdon?
You know,
I think I'm gonna go.
Not if I go first.
Buenas noches, familia.
Unbelievable.
Sorry, Mom.
I love you.
Let's just enjoy this
wonderful meal the kids made.
- All right?
- Good job.
We'll resolve
everything later.
Okay.
♪ How do the stars realign ♪
♪ The twinkle in your eyes ♪
♪ Was better
than the moonlit sky ♪
♪ That's when I knew,
oh, then I knew ♪
♪ That this was paradise ♪
♪ Paradise, paradise ♪
♪ This was paradise ♪
♪ Paradise, paradise ♪
♪ This is ♪
♪ Paradise, paradise ♪
[♪ ♪]
♪ Maybe we can escape ♪
♪ You and me, anyplace ♪
♪ That feels right with you ♪