The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (1990–1996): Season 6, Episode 19 - I, Whoops, There It Is - full transcript
The episode features bloopers from the past seasons of filming the series, and Dick Clark steps in to help Will showcase the bloopers. Will interviews the actors that appear in the series.
[bleep bleep bleep]
Hey..
Nicky. Whew.
What's up, man?
Mommy and daddy won't
let me watch"Bad Boys."
"Bad Boys",huh?
What you gonna do?
I know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna run away from home.
Aw, Nick, Nick,
come here.
You runnin' away from home?
That's right.
I'm out of here.
Woah. Woah. Hold on a second
there, my little traveling man.
Hey, you runnin' away from home,
you gonna need some food.
You know, bums,
they don't like to share.
Here you go. A little grub.
Oh, and it gets a little chilly
out in that night air
so you'll probably need a
jacket...and a hat.
Yeah. Oh, you know,
and here's a few bucks
you know, in case something
jump off out there.
Alright, you good to go,
little bro'.
Aren't you gonna try
and stop me?
Try to stop you?
No, man.
With you gone,
there's more food for me.
You know, plus I get to keep
your turtle
and that bangin' little bike
you got.
My turtle and my bike?
Well, I mean, somebody gotta
claim all that stuff.
Alright, I'll stay,
but not because I'm scared
not because
you'll take my stuff
and not because of that
reverse psychology
you tried to use on me.
Well, then why you gonna stay?
I'm five, you dork.
[theme music]
♪ Now this is a story
all about how ♪
♪ My life got flipped
Turned upside-down ♪
♪ And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there ♪
♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪
♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪
[music continues]
♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxing all cool ♪
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪
♪ And said you're moving
with your auntie ♪
♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪
♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪
♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪
♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪
♪ I pulled up to a house
about 7 or 8 ♪
♪ And I yelled to the cabby
yo homes smell you later ♪
♪ I looked at my kingdom,
I was finally there ♪
♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪
[music continues]
Yee-haw! Giddy up! Giddy up!
Giddy up!
Yee-haw! Yee-haw!
[Will imitates a horse]
[panting]
Hey, come on, G, it's your turn.
Get on. Get on.
Come on. Get on, G.
G, just get on, man.
Oh, what the he--
Hey!
What are you,
some kind of freak boy?
Hey, G, we going down to
the racetrack today, man.
You wanna put
a coupla ones on the bet?
Well, I'm not much
of a gambler, Master William.
But since you're going,
back wheel the eight
with the one on top
with the two, three, and six.
And in the fifth, par try
the three eight
with a two and five.
You got yourself a secret life
going, don't you, G?
Will, which one do you think
your friend Frank will like best
this one or this one?
God, I want to get into
the New York School
of Performing Arts so bad.
Well, I don't think they
pick their students
by what they're wearing.
Do you think he'll recommend me?
Not if you keep spinning
around like that, girl.
Hey, everybody, look!
Wednesday Bingo's running
out of post position five.
Oh! Not post
position five!
[both scream]
That's his favorite
position,
it's the same position he
had
when he won his first race.
Ahh, I still remember him
standing in that winner's circle
looking up to me
as if to say [clicks tongue]
"This one's for you,
little man." [chuckles]
You sure his tail wasn't
up in the air at the time?
Oh, mom, mommy,
wish me luck.
I really want to get into
that school in New York.
- Oh, good luck, honey.
- Thank you.
New York. Isn't that a bit of a
drive every morning? Ha ha ha.
[chuckles]
How cute, daddy.
I'd have to live there,
of course.
Of course you would, muffin.
Of course, it's
always been my dream
to send my underage daughter
off to New York unsupervised.
Isn't that
every parent's dream?
Daddy, you'll warm to the idea.
Sweetheart, just remember
that the road to New York
goes through me.
Would that be like
a six-lane highway?
Well..
Mom, you're okay
with it, right?
She feels the same way I do,
don't you, darling?
There's plenty of time
to discuss this later.
- Huh?
- Thanks, mom.
Hey, come on, look, y'all
want to make this first race?
- We gotta go. Let's go.
- Okay. Bye.
- Bye, mom. Bye, dad.
- Have a good time.
Vivian, if we don't
stick together, they'll win.
[call to postplays]
(man on PA)
'Ladies and gentlemen,
five minutes to post time.'
I'm so excited.
I just know I'm gonna win.
I have a system
that can't miss.
Oh, yeah? What's that?
I bet on every horse.
Hillary, one of them has to win.
I know, and it doesn't matter
which one.
Isn't it great?
Where's Carlton?
Oh, he's in the stables
with the jockeys.
Uh, he's never been the tallest
person in a room before.
- Hey, Frank.
- Hey.
What's up, man? Hey, thanks
for these great seats.
- Oh. This is my cousin Hilary.
- Hi.
And this is my cousin Ashley.
Oh. Nice to meet you.
Will says you want to go to the
school for the performing arts.
- More than anything.
- Ah, you'll love it.
That's where I learned
to be a director.
Really? You studied
directing there?
No, acting, but I sucked.
My old acting partner's
head of the school now.
Guess he couldn't
even direct, huh?
Oh, you're smart.
You should produce.
Why don't you come by the office
tomorrow and we'll call him up.
Oh, yeah, that'd be great.
Um, I'll be there at 7:00.
I'll be there at noon. Feel free
to have a bagel while you wait.
Pfft. Some short stack told me
to get out of the paddock area.
God, that feels
great to say.
(man on PA)
'They're at the gate.Their flag
is up, and they're off.'
[cheering]
'It's Red's Darling in front,
Daddy's Pet second'
'and Lilac Lady third.'
I can feel it.
He's about to make his move.
He can't even leave
the gate yet, man.
Well, he's just psyching out
the other horses.
(man on PA)
'At the wire, it's
Red's Darling by a nose.'
'Lilac Lady second,
and Daddy's Pet third.'
'Wednesday bingo is..'
'...taking a nap.'
You just wait
till he wakes up.
Whoosh.
[instrumental music]
Will...Frank said
he'd help me get into
the school of performing
arts.
You think he meant it?
Ashley, how many times
do I have to tell you? Yes.
No, no, no. Really, Will,
do you think he will?
Ashley, the man
is in show business.
He wouldn't lie.
Alright, alright,
look, he'll help you.
Oh, look at him.
He looks so sad.
- Oh.
- Oh, he's so cute.
Oh. Will, cheer him up.
Sing him a song.
Man, I ain't singing him
no song.
♪ The sun'll come out ♪
♪ Tomorrow ♪
♪ Bet your bottom dollar
that tomorrow ♪
♪ There'll be sun-- ♪
I'm afraid the sun won't be
coming out tomorrow
for that old boy.
What do you mean?
Too many years,
too many races.
The owner wants me
to put him down.
- When?
- Tomorrow.
♪ It's only a day away ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Oh, and this is when
he was just a yearling.
Oh, and look. This is when he
won his first race. Look, Will.
Carlton! I ain't
trying to be looking
at that horse all day, man.
Now, look. Just watch some TV
and take
your mind off of it, alright?
(man on TV)
'Hello. I'm Mr. Ed.'
[gasping]
You bastard!
Wow. Carlton seems
pretty upset.
I think what he needs is a
refreshing pick-me-up beverage
that's not too sweet
and not too heavy.
- What?
- You know my motto.
If you're a woman
on the go like me
things can get rough,
and when they do
don't sweat. Drink jet.
Jet cola, that is.
Oh, my God. You've been
sipping that gin and juice.
Hi, guys.
Oh, Ashley, look,
now eat these mints
and whatever you do,
don't talk. Here.
I don't need a mint.
Mom, I went
to see Mr. Roberts
about the high school
of the performing arts
and before I knew it he offered
me a commercial for Jet Cola.
Oh, that's great, honey.
Let's go tell your dad.
Okay.
Pfft. This don't seem
that hard.
"You know my motto.
"If you're a woman
on the go like me
"things can get rough,
and when they do
"don't sweat, y'all.
Drink jet.
Jet cola, that is."
Well, then be
a woman on the go.
Leave so I can vacuum.
[instrumental music]
Hey, hey, Frank.
What's up, man?
Hi, Will. How's it going?
Alright, man. You know,
I'm just coming down
check on Ashley,
she's a little nervous
before her fist shoot
and everything.
Oh, she's gonna be just
fine.
Okay, girls. Places, please.
Let's go.
[girls giggle]
(Will)
'Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Wait a minute.'
You mean, you just
say it and they do it?
Okay, girls,
uh, get naked.
Uh, Simon says get naked.
Okay, people.
First positions, please.
We're losing the light.
Let's get this rolling!
Hey, Frank, I got
to tell you, man
it's guys like you
make life worth living, bruh.
Bringing all these
beautiful women to us
during all our
favorite programs.
Hmm. Man, you ought to have a
billboard with your face on it.
You ought to..
[screams]
...be ashamed of yourself!
Will. Will.
- That's a wrap!
- I'm so sorry.
[instrumental music]
There is no way I'm gonna
let
her parade around
on some beach hawking Jet Cola
in nothing but a skimpy bikini.
Pfft. And showing that can
all over national TV.
And I ain't talking
about the soda.
(Hilary)
Carlton, this is crazy.
Hilary, we had no choice,
we needed a place to keep
him
till we can find him
a permanent home.
Well, what's gonna happen
to us if dad finds out
there's a horse in the backyard?
He'll blame Will
like he always does.
Oh, okay.
- Hi, daddy.
- Don't you "hi, daddy" me.
Just when were you planning
on telling me and your mother
about your little soft-core
drink commercial?
You.
We would have
found out eventually.
Yeah, even though they're not
showing that much of her face.
I-I don't believe this.
You're both being hypocrites.
You sit there glued to the set
anytime"Baywatch"comes on.
Well, that's only because
I have trouble sleeping
and the sound of the waves
gently caressing the shore
helps relax me.
Nice cover. Nice cover.
Ashley, you're not
doing this commercial.
Mom, can you
talk to him?
I'm afraid your father feels
very strongly about this.
I-I just can't quit
the commercial.
How's it gonna look if
I walk out on the person
who's gonna give me
the recommendation?
I don't care.
This is more important.
And you're not going
to New York either.
What about what I want?
Doesn't that matter?
No.
[instrumental music]
[sighs]
No, no, Whoa. I'm telling
you,
Uncle Phil, I was there
and that commercial was nothing,
but a disgusting
gratuitous display
of-of-of..
...just call it what it is..
...smut.
So you don't think I
was too rough on Ashley?
Pfft. Man, are you trippin'?
You're the leader of the
pack.
It is your right..
No, no, no. Scratch that.
It's your duty as a male
to assert your dominance.
There, I said it,
"your dominance."
Really? Because your Aunt Vivian
wasn't as supportive
of my approach.
[scoffs]
Your approach?
Man, I got one thing to say
about your approach..
Woof! Woof! Woof!
Woof! Woof! Woof!
You are the king
of the jungle, Mufasa.
Yes, I am. Yes, I am.
You are the ruler
of all that you survey.
- Yes! Huh!
- You will be obeyed!
I will be obeyed! Yes!
Hi, sweetie.
You look awfully pretty.
Well, I guess
I showed her.
You ain't nothing
but Simba.
[music on TV]
[blows raspberry]
What's up, Ash?
[increases volume]
[loud]
What you watching?
[louder]
You know, I have no idea
what got into the big guy.
[turns television off]
You got into him.
You're the rat
that dimed me out.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute, Ashley.
Now that hurts. I'm offended
by that characterization.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Um, you don't like rat.
How about snake?
Weasel?
Doodyhead?
Don't be calling me
no doodyhead.
Will, you know how much going to
the school of performing arts
means to me, and you knew how
much that commercial would help.
Well, wait a minute,
that commercial was degrading.
Oh, really it was?
Um, which part?
The part where I'm in clothes
driving the car?
The part where I'm in sweats
drinking the cola?
The part where
I'm rollerblading?
No, all you focused on
were the seven seconds
I was in a bathing suit
playing volleyball.
I play volleyball
in a bathing suit all the time!
Am I degrading myself?
I didn't, I didn't know about
all them other parts.
Exactly, because
you didn't ask.
All that mattered to you and dad
was your narrow-minded maleness.
You know, this job
may not be my dream job
but, regardless, it'smydream.
You and dad have
nothing to do with it.
You know what, I should just go
and do it anyway.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wai-wait a minute.
Now, now, I realize
you're excited
and you're a little upset
but Uncle Phil is a big man.
He's a very big man..
...with a very short fuse.
Bad combination.
Very bad combination.
Goodbye.
Bad talk.
Very bad talk.
[instrumental music]
Here you go.
Nick, have I ever kept you
from achieving your dreams?
Not many.
I mean, you wouldn't call me
narrow-minded, would you?
You just don't get it,
do you?
I'm five, you dork.
Yeah, you're right. I should
just be talking to Ashley.
- Is she here?
- Nope. She's at the commercial.
- What?
- What?
Whoa! H-h-h-hey!
Why, Uncle Phil, how long have
you been standing there?
You know, you're a light stepper
for a big fella.
What did you say, Nicky?
Ashley's at the commercial.
Oh, how could
she do this, huh?
A direct defiance
of-of-of..
The king of the jungle?
We'll see about this.
Now, Uncle Phil,
calm down, man. Alright?
It ain't that serious.
Big man, short fuse.
Bad combination.
[instrumental music]
Well, she's not here,
Uncle Phil. Let's go.
We just got here.
Well, you know,
Uncle Phil, as I look around
you know,
the level of nakedness
isn't as high
as I had previously assumed.
Will, you know, you know,
ever since we've left the house
you've seemed
a little...distracted.
You know, whatever happened
to that, "woof, woof, woof"?
Oh, well, that's
still there, man.
Woof, woof, woof, woof.
You know, Uncle Phil, look
I don't even think Ashley's..
[screams]
(Philip)
'Ashley.'
Daddy, what are you doing here?
What am I doing here? What are
you doing here?You defied me.
Now you go get your clothes
and you come with me right now!
- Daddy, I--
- I don't want to hear it!
Coming down here
and doing this commercial
after I expressly forbade it!
I just quit the commercial.
Well, uh..
Wait.
You should be
ashamed of yourself
not trusting Ashley.
I knew she would never do it.
Mama knows, child.
- Come here.
- Shut up, Will!
Listen, I'm taking over.
I need to know where
your wardrobe is.
Um, it's in the dressing room
in the back.
Too bad your daddy won't let you
do the commercial.
Better off leaving it
to the big girls.
Whoo-hoo-hoo.
Whoo-hoo. Little cat
in you, huh, girl?
Little leather skirt on.
Meow!
- You know, let's just go.
- Okay.
Yep, you'd better make it home
before "Saved By The Bell"
starts.
Excuse me, miss.
No one talks
to my daughter that way,
so maybe you
and your little horsehair weave
should just mosey on..
...before I get really upset.
Better some horsehair
than some no hair.
Oh, wait a minute.
I don't think so.
Oh, no, Ashley. Ashley.
Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley.
Ashley. Ashley.
Sweetheart, you go
to your dressing room
and put on your costume
because I think
Frank's gonna need
some class to sell his drink.
Daddy, you're gonna let me do
the commercial?
Well, it's up to you
if you want to.
Oh, daddy! Thank you!
Oh..
...and by the way
your mother.
Mama. It's mama, Ashley.
Mama. It's mama.
[instrumental music]
Hey, Ashley, I-I gotta tell you
I think this commercial thing
is gonna be alright.
You know, all them
new friends you made today
how you got
all their telephone numbers.
That was good.
I'll give you $20 apiece
for each of them.
Hey, except for that cat girl.
She had a beard.
Daddy, did you hear?
Frank said that I'm a shoo-in
for the school
of performing arts.
I'm as good as in New York.
Well, I've said it before,
and I'll say it again
no. No, no, no, no.
What happened to you
being more open-minded?
I am open-minded,
sweetheart.
And any commercial
you want to shoot here
in the Greater Los Angeles area,
hey, I'm onboard.
Will, what do you think?
Hey, hey, I have nothing
but love and respect
for the both of you.
Oh, mom, come on
can you convince dad
that it's alright for me
to move to New York?
Tell her she is too young
to move anywhere.
I moved out of the horse
when I was 17.
Horse?
House. Uh, uh,
I gotta go do this th.. Uh, bye.
No, no, wait, mom.
I got to talk to you.
Hmm. She's
acting oddly.
Yeah.
[horse whinnies]
Want me to get you
some Pepto-Bismol, Uncle Phil?
Wednesday Bingo, please get up.
- Please get up off the couch.
- Please. Come on.
Get up, Wednesday Bingo.
Get up, please.
- They were gonna kill him.
- And we saved him.
- We needed to find a farm.
- And we found one.
- But..
- He doesn't wanna go.
And it's hard to move
this kind of girth.
You can relate
to that, Uncle Phil.
(both)
We can explain.
(both)
He did it.
[mouthing words]
Hey.
[theme music]
Hey..
Nicky. Whew.
What's up, man?
Mommy and daddy won't
let me watch"Bad Boys."
"Bad Boys",huh?
What you gonna do?
I know what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna run away from home.
Aw, Nick, Nick,
come here.
You runnin' away from home?
That's right.
I'm out of here.
Woah. Woah. Hold on a second
there, my little traveling man.
Hey, you runnin' away from home,
you gonna need some food.
You know, bums,
they don't like to share.
Here you go. A little grub.
Oh, and it gets a little chilly
out in that night air
so you'll probably need a
jacket...and a hat.
Yeah. Oh, you know,
and here's a few bucks
you know, in case something
jump off out there.
Alright, you good to go,
little bro'.
Aren't you gonna try
and stop me?
Try to stop you?
No, man.
With you gone,
there's more food for me.
You know, plus I get to keep
your turtle
and that bangin' little bike
you got.
My turtle and my bike?
Well, I mean, somebody gotta
claim all that stuff.
Alright, I'll stay,
but not because I'm scared
not because
you'll take my stuff
and not because of that
reverse psychology
you tried to use on me.
Well, then why you gonna stay?
I'm five, you dork.
[theme music]
♪ Now this is a story
all about how ♪
♪ My life got flipped
Turned upside-down ♪
♪ And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there ♪
♪ I'll tell you
how I became the prince ♪
♪ Of a town called Bel-Air ♪
[music continues]
♪ In West Philadelphia
born and raised ♪
♪ On the playground is where
I spent most of my days ♪
♪ Chillin' out maxin'
relaxing all cool ♪
♪ And all shootin' some b-ball
outside of the school ♪
♪ When a couple of guys
who were up to no good ♪
♪ Started makin' trouble
in my neighborhood ♪
♪ I got in one little fight
and my mom got scared ♪
♪ And said you're moving
with your auntie ♪
♪ And uncle in Bel-Air ♪
♪ I whistled for a cab
and when it came near ♪
♪ The license plate said fresh
and it had dice in the mirror ♪
♪ If anything I can say
that this cab was rare ♪
♪ But I thought nah forget it
yo homes to Bel-Air ♪
♪ I pulled up to a house
about 7 or 8 ♪
♪ And I yelled to the cabby
yo homes smell you later ♪
♪ I looked at my kingdom,
I was finally there ♪
♪ To sit on my throne
as the prince of Bel-Air ♪
[music continues]
Yee-haw! Giddy up! Giddy up!
Giddy up!
Yee-haw! Yee-haw!
[Will imitates a horse]
[panting]
Hey, come on, G, it's your turn.
Get on. Get on.
Come on. Get on, G.
G, just get on, man.
Oh, what the he--
Hey!
What are you,
some kind of freak boy?
Hey, G, we going down to
the racetrack today, man.
You wanna put
a coupla ones on the bet?
Well, I'm not much
of a gambler, Master William.
But since you're going,
back wheel the eight
with the one on top
with the two, three, and six.
And in the fifth, par try
the three eight
with a two and five.
You got yourself a secret life
going, don't you, G?
Will, which one do you think
your friend Frank will like best
this one or this one?
God, I want to get into
the New York School
of Performing Arts so bad.
Well, I don't think they
pick their students
by what they're wearing.
Do you think he'll recommend me?
Not if you keep spinning
around like that, girl.
Hey, everybody, look!
Wednesday Bingo's running
out of post position five.
Oh! Not post
position five!
[both scream]
That's his favorite
position,
it's the same position he
had
when he won his first race.
Ahh, I still remember him
standing in that winner's circle
looking up to me
as if to say [clicks tongue]
"This one's for you,
little man." [chuckles]
You sure his tail wasn't
up in the air at the time?
Oh, mom, mommy,
wish me luck.
I really want to get into
that school in New York.
- Oh, good luck, honey.
- Thank you.
New York. Isn't that a bit of a
drive every morning? Ha ha ha.
[chuckles]
How cute, daddy.
I'd have to live there,
of course.
Of course you would, muffin.
Of course, it's
always been my dream
to send my underage daughter
off to New York unsupervised.
Isn't that
every parent's dream?
Daddy, you'll warm to the idea.
Sweetheart, just remember
that the road to New York
goes through me.
Would that be like
a six-lane highway?
Well..
Mom, you're okay
with it, right?
She feels the same way I do,
don't you, darling?
There's plenty of time
to discuss this later.
- Huh?
- Thanks, mom.
Hey, come on, look, y'all
want to make this first race?
- We gotta go. Let's go.
- Okay. Bye.
- Bye, mom. Bye, dad.
- Have a good time.
Vivian, if we don't
stick together, they'll win.
[call to postplays]
(man on PA)
'Ladies and gentlemen,
five minutes to post time.'
I'm so excited.
I just know I'm gonna win.
I have a system
that can't miss.
Oh, yeah? What's that?
I bet on every horse.
Hillary, one of them has to win.
I know, and it doesn't matter
which one.
Isn't it great?
Where's Carlton?
Oh, he's in the stables
with the jockeys.
Uh, he's never been the tallest
person in a room before.
- Hey, Frank.
- Hey.
What's up, man? Hey, thanks
for these great seats.
- Oh. This is my cousin Hilary.
- Hi.
And this is my cousin Ashley.
Oh. Nice to meet you.
Will says you want to go to the
school for the performing arts.
- More than anything.
- Ah, you'll love it.
That's where I learned
to be a director.
Really? You studied
directing there?
No, acting, but I sucked.
My old acting partner's
head of the school now.
Guess he couldn't
even direct, huh?
Oh, you're smart.
You should produce.
Why don't you come by the office
tomorrow and we'll call him up.
Oh, yeah, that'd be great.
Um, I'll be there at 7:00.
I'll be there at noon. Feel free
to have a bagel while you wait.
Pfft. Some short stack told me
to get out of the paddock area.
God, that feels
great to say.
(man on PA)
'They're at the gate.Their flag
is up, and they're off.'
[cheering]
'It's Red's Darling in front,
Daddy's Pet second'
'and Lilac Lady third.'
I can feel it.
He's about to make his move.
He can't even leave
the gate yet, man.
Well, he's just psyching out
the other horses.
(man on PA)
'At the wire, it's
Red's Darling by a nose.'
'Lilac Lady second,
and Daddy's Pet third.'
'Wednesday bingo is..'
'...taking a nap.'
You just wait
till he wakes up.
Whoosh.
[instrumental music]
Will...Frank said
he'd help me get into
the school of performing
arts.
You think he meant it?
Ashley, how many times
do I have to tell you? Yes.
No, no, no. Really, Will,
do you think he will?
Ashley, the man
is in show business.
He wouldn't lie.
Alright, alright,
look, he'll help you.
Oh, look at him.
He looks so sad.
- Oh.
- Oh, he's so cute.
Oh. Will, cheer him up.
Sing him a song.
Man, I ain't singing him
no song.
♪ The sun'll come out ♪
♪ Tomorrow ♪
♪ Bet your bottom dollar
that tomorrow ♪
♪ There'll be sun-- ♪
I'm afraid the sun won't be
coming out tomorrow
for that old boy.
What do you mean?
Too many years,
too many races.
The owner wants me
to put him down.
- When?
- Tomorrow.
♪ It's only a day away ♪♪
[instrumental music]
Oh, and this is when
he was just a yearling.
Oh, and look. This is when he
won his first race. Look, Will.
Carlton! I ain't
trying to be looking
at that horse all day, man.
Now, look. Just watch some TV
and take
your mind off of it, alright?
(man on TV)
'Hello. I'm Mr. Ed.'
[gasping]
You bastard!
Wow. Carlton seems
pretty upset.
I think what he needs is a
refreshing pick-me-up beverage
that's not too sweet
and not too heavy.
- What?
- You know my motto.
If you're a woman
on the go like me
things can get rough,
and when they do
don't sweat. Drink jet.
Jet cola, that is.
Oh, my God. You've been
sipping that gin and juice.
Hi, guys.
Oh, Ashley, look,
now eat these mints
and whatever you do,
don't talk. Here.
I don't need a mint.
Mom, I went
to see Mr. Roberts
about the high school
of the performing arts
and before I knew it he offered
me a commercial for Jet Cola.
Oh, that's great, honey.
Let's go tell your dad.
Okay.
Pfft. This don't seem
that hard.
"You know my motto.
"If you're a woman
on the go like me
"things can get rough,
and when they do
"don't sweat, y'all.
Drink jet.
Jet cola, that is."
Well, then be
a woman on the go.
Leave so I can vacuum.
[instrumental music]
Hey, hey, Frank.
What's up, man?
Hi, Will. How's it going?
Alright, man. You know,
I'm just coming down
check on Ashley,
she's a little nervous
before her fist shoot
and everything.
Oh, she's gonna be just
fine.
Okay, girls. Places, please.
Let's go.
[girls giggle]
(Will)
'Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Wait a minute.'
You mean, you just
say it and they do it?
Okay, girls,
uh, get naked.
Uh, Simon says get naked.
Okay, people.
First positions, please.
We're losing the light.
Let's get this rolling!
Hey, Frank, I got
to tell you, man
it's guys like you
make life worth living, bruh.
Bringing all these
beautiful women to us
during all our
favorite programs.
Hmm. Man, you ought to have a
billboard with your face on it.
You ought to..
[screams]
...be ashamed of yourself!
Will. Will.
- That's a wrap!
- I'm so sorry.
[instrumental music]
There is no way I'm gonna
let
her parade around
on some beach hawking Jet Cola
in nothing but a skimpy bikini.
Pfft. And showing that can
all over national TV.
And I ain't talking
about the soda.
(Hilary)
Carlton, this is crazy.
Hilary, we had no choice,
we needed a place to keep
him
till we can find him
a permanent home.
Well, what's gonna happen
to us if dad finds out
there's a horse in the backyard?
He'll blame Will
like he always does.
Oh, okay.
- Hi, daddy.
- Don't you "hi, daddy" me.
Just when were you planning
on telling me and your mother
about your little soft-core
drink commercial?
You.
We would have
found out eventually.
Yeah, even though they're not
showing that much of her face.
I-I don't believe this.
You're both being hypocrites.
You sit there glued to the set
anytime"Baywatch"comes on.
Well, that's only because
I have trouble sleeping
and the sound of the waves
gently caressing the shore
helps relax me.
Nice cover. Nice cover.
Ashley, you're not
doing this commercial.
Mom, can you
talk to him?
I'm afraid your father feels
very strongly about this.
I-I just can't quit
the commercial.
How's it gonna look if
I walk out on the person
who's gonna give me
the recommendation?
I don't care.
This is more important.
And you're not going
to New York either.
What about what I want?
Doesn't that matter?
No.
[instrumental music]
[sighs]
No, no, Whoa. I'm telling
you,
Uncle Phil, I was there
and that commercial was nothing,
but a disgusting
gratuitous display
of-of-of..
...just call it what it is..
...smut.
So you don't think I
was too rough on Ashley?
Pfft. Man, are you trippin'?
You're the leader of the
pack.
It is your right..
No, no, no. Scratch that.
It's your duty as a male
to assert your dominance.
There, I said it,
"your dominance."
Really? Because your Aunt Vivian
wasn't as supportive
of my approach.
[scoffs]
Your approach?
Man, I got one thing to say
about your approach..
Woof! Woof! Woof!
Woof! Woof! Woof!
You are the king
of the jungle, Mufasa.
Yes, I am. Yes, I am.
You are the ruler
of all that you survey.
- Yes! Huh!
- You will be obeyed!
I will be obeyed! Yes!
Hi, sweetie.
You look awfully pretty.
Well, I guess
I showed her.
You ain't nothing
but Simba.
[music on TV]
[blows raspberry]
What's up, Ash?
[increases volume]
[loud]
What you watching?
[louder]
You know, I have no idea
what got into the big guy.
[turns television off]
You got into him.
You're the rat
that dimed me out.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute, Ashley.
Now that hurts. I'm offended
by that characterization.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Um, you don't like rat.
How about snake?
Weasel?
Doodyhead?
Don't be calling me
no doodyhead.
Will, you know how much going to
the school of performing arts
means to me, and you knew how
much that commercial would help.
Well, wait a minute,
that commercial was degrading.
Oh, really it was?
Um, which part?
The part where I'm in clothes
driving the car?
The part where I'm in sweats
drinking the cola?
The part where
I'm rollerblading?
No, all you focused on
were the seven seconds
I was in a bathing suit
playing volleyball.
I play volleyball
in a bathing suit all the time!
Am I degrading myself?
I didn't, I didn't know about
all them other parts.
Exactly, because
you didn't ask.
All that mattered to you and dad
was your narrow-minded maleness.
You know, this job
may not be my dream job
but, regardless, it'smydream.
You and dad have
nothing to do with it.
You know what, I should just go
and do it anyway.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wai-wait a minute.
Now, now, I realize
you're excited
and you're a little upset
but Uncle Phil is a big man.
He's a very big man..
...with a very short fuse.
Bad combination.
Very bad combination.
Goodbye.
Bad talk.
Very bad talk.
[instrumental music]
Here you go.
Nick, have I ever kept you
from achieving your dreams?
Not many.
I mean, you wouldn't call me
narrow-minded, would you?
You just don't get it,
do you?
I'm five, you dork.
Yeah, you're right. I should
just be talking to Ashley.
- Is she here?
- Nope. She's at the commercial.
- What?
- What?
Whoa! H-h-h-hey!
Why, Uncle Phil, how long have
you been standing there?
You know, you're a light stepper
for a big fella.
What did you say, Nicky?
Ashley's at the commercial.
Oh, how could
she do this, huh?
A direct defiance
of-of-of..
The king of the jungle?
We'll see about this.
Now, Uncle Phil,
calm down, man. Alright?
It ain't that serious.
Big man, short fuse.
Bad combination.
[instrumental music]
Well, she's not here,
Uncle Phil. Let's go.
We just got here.
Well, you know,
Uncle Phil, as I look around
you know,
the level of nakedness
isn't as high
as I had previously assumed.
Will, you know, you know,
ever since we've left the house
you've seemed
a little...distracted.
You know, whatever happened
to that, "woof, woof, woof"?
Oh, well, that's
still there, man.
Woof, woof, woof, woof.
You know, Uncle Phil, look
I don't even think Ashley's..
[screams]
(Philip)
'Ashley.'
Daddy, what are you doing here?
What am I doing here? What are
you doing here?You defied me.
Now you go get your clothes
and you come with me right now!
- Daddy, I--
- I don't want to hear it!
Coming down here
and doing this commercial
after I expressly forbade it!
I just quit the commercial.
Well, uh..
Wait.
You should be
ashamed of yourself
not trusting Ashley.
I knew she would never do it.
Mama knows, child.
- Come here.
- Shut up, Will!
Listen, I'm taking over.
I need to know where
your wardrobe is.
Um, it's in the dressing room
in the back.
Too bad your daddy won't let you
do the commercial.
Better off leaving it
to the big girls.
Whoo-hoo-hoo.
Whoo-hoo. Little cat
in you, huh, girl?
Little leather skirt on.
Meow!
- You know, let's just go.
- Okay.
Yep, you'd better make it home
before "Saved By The Bell"
starts.
Excuse me, miss.
No one talks
to my daughter that way,
so maybe you
and your little horsehair weave
should just mosey on..
...before I get really upset.
Better some horsehair
than some no hair.
Oh, wait a minute.
I don't think so.
Oh, no, Ashley. Ashley.
Ashley. Ashley. Ashley. Ashley.
Ashley. Ashley.
Sweetheart, you go
to your dressing room
and put on your costume
because I think
Frank's gonna need
some class to sell his drink.
Daddy, you're gonna let me do
the commercial?
Well, it's up to you
if you want to.
Oh, daddy! Thank you!
Oh..
...and by the way
your mother.
Mama. It's mama, Ashley.
Mama. It's mama.
[instrumental music]
Hey, Ashley, I-I gotta tell you
I think this commercial thing
is gonna be alright.
You know, all them
new friends you made today
how you got
all their telephone numbers.
That was good.
I'll give you $20 apiece
for each of them.
Hey, except for that cat girl.
She had a beard.
Daddy, did you hear?
Frank said that I'm a shoo-in
for the school
of performing arts.
I'm as good as in New York.
Well, I've said it before,
and I'll say it again
no. No, no, no, no.
What happened to you
being more open-minded?
I am open-minded,
sweetheart.
And any commercial
you want to shoot here
in the Greater Los Angeles area,
hey, I'm onboard.
Will, what do you think?
Hey, hey, I have nothing
but love and respect
for the both of you.
Oh, mom, come on
can you convince dad
that it's alright for me
to move to New York?
Tell her she is too young
to move anywhere.
I moved out of the horse
when I was 17.
Horse?
House. Uh, uh,
I gotta go do this th.. Uh, bye.
No, no, wait, mom.
I got to talk to you.
Hmm. She's
acting oddly.
Yeah.
[horse whinnies]
Want me to get you
some Pepto-Bismol, Uncle Phil?
Wednesday Bingo, please get up.
- Please get up off the couch.
- Please. Come on.
Get up, Wednesday Bingo.
Get up, please.
- They were gonna kill him.
- And we saved him.
- We needed to find a farm.
- And we found one.
- But..
- He doesn't wanna go.
And it's hard to move
this kind of girth.
You can relate
to that, Uncle Phil.
(both)
We can explain.
(both)
He did it.
[mouthing words]
Hey.
[theme music]