The Fosters (2013–2018): Season 3, Episode 3 - Déjà Vu - full transcript

Previously on the Fosters.

Hey, who's there?

Go.

When are things gonna stop being weird between us?

I'm straight. I was married.

I cheated on my boyfriend, and I lost my virginity

to a random boy I barely know.

I'm pretty sure that makes me a slut.

Hi, it's A.J. I got arrested.

- For huffing. -Tagging.

- What is it? - It's a bat signal.



I just wanted Ty to know where I was.

- Ty? - That's my brother.

Just something about him. He's a good kid.

Are you thinking about fostering him?

I was thinking about you fostering him.

So, Callie, we were thinking

that maybe A.J. could hang out with you during the day--

You know, go to class and the drop-in center.

And then, A.J., once we get your transcripts,

we can see what credits you still need,

and then we can get you enrolled in summer school.

- Sound good? - Yes, ma'am.

And you don't have to call me ma'am. Lena's fine.

Yeah, and I can pick you up in the afternoons,



you know, after work,

and we can hang a little, till I get my foster license.

How long will that take?

Uh, hopefully not too long.

Until then, we want you to feel at home.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

I really appreciate it. By the way, this is delicious.

- Aww, thank you. - He can sleep in my room.

My brother's at boarding school, so there's an extra bed.

- You don't mind? - It's cool. We all share.

Except Brandon. He has his own room.

Is that your son?

Uh, yeah, mine and Stef's.

Oh, and Lena's.

I mean, he's all of ours, really.

So I got a job.

A job?

Well, you don't have to seem so shocked.

Victor offered. At the bakery.

- Hey. There he is. - Hey, babe.

- You hungry? - Hey, dad.

Let me get you a chair.

- Who's this? - A.J., this is Brandon.

Brandon, this is A.J.

A.J.'s gonna be staying with us for a little while.

- He's a foster kid. - Oh, we're fostering another kid?

Oh, we're not. Mike is.

Callie met A.J. at the drop-in center.

And he needed a new foster home,

so I thought of your dad.

Why?

- Thanks, B. - No, I just...

It's not like you've ever talked about being a foster parent.

No, but, I mean, I've thought about it.

You know, seeing how your moms did

with Callie and Jude and the twins and--

Look, I went to visit A.J.--

Visit him? Where?

In juvie.

Juvie? He was in juvie?

Callie was in juvie when she came here.

- It was for a minor offense. - He's a good kid, B.

He's just had some tough breaks,

and maybe I can make a difference in his life.

And I'd like your support.

Yeah, yeah,

I mean, if that's what you want to do.

I gotta get to work.

Look, we're having dinner tomorrow night, right?

Right.

'Night.

You think he's gonna be okay?

I think he needs some time to let it sink in.

He was great with the other kids.

Well, I'm gonna get going.

Thanks for dinner.

And, hey,

thanks for thinking of me, with A.J.,

and giving him a home till I can.

It means a lot.

No worries.

Have a good night, Mike.

What?

If, for any reason, Mike doesn't follow through--

I know, I know.

And what is Jesus doesn't like boarding school?

We are not replacing Jesus

and we are not fostering another kid, okay?

Come here.

Dinner was quite delicious.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I was having deja vu all through dinner

about Callie's first night with us.

When she asked if we were dykes?

In comparison, A.J. seems like a dream.

Oh my gosh, I almost forgot.

What?

I'm meeting Jenna in, like, 20 minutes.

Where are you going?

Girls' night at the Laurel.

Oh, I can't remember the last time I went there.

I'm glad to hear that.

Maybe if I tell her that we have a new foster kid.

No, no, you can't cancel this late.

No, I can cancel whenever I want to.

No, just go.

I have things under control here.

I know you do.

Who knows? Maybe you'll meet someone nice.

Really.

So you don't feel weird

sharing your room with some kid you don't know?

I've been in seven foster homes.

I've shared a lot of rooms with a lot of kids I don't know.

Oh, man. Sick!

Oh, you're going down.

Could you turn that down, please?

Dude, no way. I'm dominating.

Seriously, it hurts my ears.

Fine.

Whatever, granny.

What are you doing?

You shouldn't sneak up on people.

You shouldn't be in here.

So the real kid gets his own room, huh?

Well, we're all real,

and everyone had their own rooms

before Jude and I came, so...

Look, this "Yes, ma'am" act--

I know you don't appreciate being here,

and you just wanted to get out of juvie

so that you could run again.

Oh, so you can read minds now too?

I got fired from the drop-in center because of you.

If my moms knew about that, you wouldn't be here.

So then why didn't you tell them?

I was cool with Stef helping you with your charges.

I didn't think that she was gonna...

Bring me home,

like some pound puppy?

Look, if you don't want me here,

why don't you go tell them right now?

What's going on?

I was just showing A.J. around.

The tour's over.

- 'night. - 'night.

- It's a nice crib. - Glad you like it.

God, why did everybody get so young?

Oh, they didn't. We got old.

Oh, hey. What about her?

- What, the one with the short hair? - Uh-huh, yeah.

She could be your daughter, Jenna.

How dare you? You...

You can't date women who--

who've watched "Friends" for the first time on Netflix, come on.

Unfortunately, those girls are my only option.

I mean, let's face it,

if they're my age and they're still single,

then there's probably a reason.

Jenna, I hate to tell you this,

but you are your age and still single.

Oh, wait a minute. Okay, don't look now,

But there is a gorgeous,

age-appropriate woman in the bar.

No, don't look now.

Just wait for it. Wait.

Okay, wait, wait.

Okay, now. Now.

Which one? The redhead? The glasses?

No, the brunette. The one in the middle of the bar, there.

Right there.

- Oh my god. I know her. - You know her?

Yeah, she's... she's Lena's boss.

Really?

Well, then send me to the principal's office,

'cause I've been a naughty girl.

Settle down, Tiger. She's straight.

What? How do you know?

Because she was married to a man.

You were married to a man.

- So? - So what?

Oh, nothing. Just our hot new foster brother.

He's not our foster brother.

Good point. So he's in play.

- You have a boyfriend. - Not for me, for you.

You haven't had a boyfriend since...

Wyatt? Yeah, I know.

I have more important things to think about.

- Like what? - Like finding a new independent study.

What happened to your old independent study?

I got fired from the drop-in center.

I don't want to talk about it. And no, moms don't know yet,

and I don't want to tell them until I find another one,

so please don't say anything.

Okay.

- Did you do something bad? - Mariana.

Sorry.

I'm sorry it's so small. It's the only one I could find

that didn't have action figures all over it.

It's cool.

Oh, and Callie told me that you like to draw,

so feel free to use any of the pencils here on Jesus's desk.

Did he do something wrong?

Is that why you guys sent him away?

No, no. He's a wrestler.

He got a scholarship. He wanted to go.

So am I, like, the first black kid you fostered?

Yes.

Why do you ask?

It's just not a lot of people want to take in a black boy,

let alone two.

That's why me and my brother got separated.

Well, that is not true for us.

We're really glad you're here, A.J.

'Night, bubba.

'Night.

Good night.

I grind my teeth sometimes at night.

But, you know, just throw a pillow at me if it keeps you up.

That's what Jesus always did.

Okay. That's good to know.

Are you sure I can't get you a coffee?

Already three cups in.

Any more caffeine, and I'm likely to get coffee gut.

Well, looks like you got a lot of water damage up there.

That pipe's probably been leaking for months.

So we're told. So how soon can you get us a quote?

I can email it to you, end of day.

Should I send it to you or your husband?

'morning.

Stef, this is Carl.

Hi, Carl. How is it going?

So are you two sisters or...

No, she's my wife.

So you can just get that quote to me.

- You've got my email. - Okay.

Will do.

Have a good day, Carl.

Sisters? Seriously?

How many of these quotes do we have to get?

At least three.

So how was your drinks with Jenna?

Um, hmm, interesting.

Yeah? Did you meet your future second wife?

No, I didn't, but she seems to think she did.

Really? She met someone?

- Mm-hmm. - What's she like?

Let's see. She's pretty,

brunette,

works as a principal at a charter school.

Really? Here in San Diego? What's her name?

Monte Porter.

Did you know she was gay?

She was... she was married to a man.

I was married to a man, Lena.

Just because she was at a gay bar doesn't mean...

She was on a date with a woman that she met online.

How do you know that?

Because Jenna made me introduce her.

Well, that must have been a little awkward.

Well, it gets better. She wants you to set them up.

Okay, well,

I am not setting up my boss with one of our friends.

Fine.

- No. - You tell Jenna, then.

I'm not telling her.

Oh, speak of the devil.

Yeah, we were just talking about it.

She is. She is. She's right here.

Here, let me put you on video chat. There we go.

Hi, Jenna.

Hi, Lena.

I am obsessed with your boss.

You've got to set me up.

How about you have us over for dinner?

And that way it won't be so awkward.

Jenna, I really don't think...

Oh, please, come on.

You have no idea how bleak it is out there.

- So bleak. - Oh, and you gotta do it soon,

before she has a second date with that loser from last night,

because you know what lesbians brings on the second date.

- A u-haul. - A u-haul, I know.

- You know what? We're not doing anything tonight. - Tonight?

Yes, tonight? Tonight? I can make tonight work.

I will do all the shopping and cooking,

so you won't even have to lift a finger.

Okay, let me know what she says. I am so excited.

Thank you. You are the best friend in the world.

Hey. What's up?

Sorry, mama asked if her phone was in here.

Yeah, yeah, it's over on the bedside table.

You okay?

Weren't you scared of guns after you were shot?

Yeah, I guess I was a little bit more nervous

carrying a firearm than I had been before.

What did you do?

Well, I went to the shooting range

and practiced and practiced and practiced

until I felt comfortable and confident again.

I remember the sound the most.

It was so loud.

Yeah, I remember that too.

I think I just...

I don't understand how Connor can play those,

you know, shooter games.

I mean, he was the one who was shot.

Yeah, well, you were shot at.

That's every bit as traumatic.

And listen to me,

It's not a bad thing to be afraid of guns.

You hear me?

Now take that to mama.

Okay, I'm so happy you're here.

I'm the only employee that's under 50.

It's like an old folks' home.

- Really? - Seriously.

The last person who worked with me was my great-aunt Amelia.

- and she was 92. - Is she...

Retired. It was time.

She was really gassy,

and she couldn't hold it in anymore.

Let's just say it wasn't good for business.

Look at you two.

I'm happy my beautiful granddaughters are getting along

and getting to know each other.

And Elena and I are looking forward

to spending more time together with you, Mariana.

Oh, thanks. Me too.

Now back to work.

Okay, so what do we do?

You're looking at it. We stand here

and wait for customers to come in.

And we wait, and we wait.

Business hasn't really been that great.

Okay, so Mike will pick you up

out here this afternoon.

And if you need anything,

you can always find me in my office, okay?

Yes, ma'am.

I mean, Lena.

Okay, guys, have a good day.

This is where you go to school?

Yep.

And there's, like, no gates or fences or anything?

Nope.

You're free to take off whenever you want.

Good morning.

Morning.

- So I guess-- - Stef told--

- Sorry, you go. - Sorry, you go.

Look, I--

It's been really hard to meet people,

so I signed up for one of those dating sites.

And when I was checking the boxes,

I just thought...

You know, it hasn't worked out great for me with men,

so why not check all the boxes?

I mean, not all the boxes.

Some of them are weird.

But the last thing I expected

on my first date ever with a woman

was to run into your wife.

- You don't have to explain. - No, I do.

I-- I told you I was straight,

and I don't even know if I'm bisexual or whatever.

I just--

I just thought I should keep an open mind,

because, you know, I really would like to meet someone nice.

Damn, this boy is hot.

He's all right.

And he's a rock star. You scored, girl.

Aww, you miss him. That's so sweet.

Who's Wyatt?

No one.

No one?

Just a friend. So what do you do

with all the extra bread and pastries at the end of the day?

We give most of it to the homeless shelters or to food kitchens.

They must love us.

Abuelo Victor says that it's getting harder

to compete with the grocery store bakeries.

Well, makes sense. The only small bakeries or cafes I know

all have some trendy little dessert that everyone wants to try,

Like the "Pie-kie" or the "Cronut."

What about the "Churronut"?

A churro and a donut?

That's brilliant.

I know, but Sbuelo shot it down.

Why?

"Trends come and go,

"Pero la tradicion es para siempre."

Well, I don't see any customers coming or going,

so maybe we need to convince him to try some new tradiciones.

How?

Demand-side economics.

Wait, what?

I got this.

I'm telling you, the new zombie mode

is, like, supposed to be a gore-fest,

like, there's body parts flying and just...

You gotta come over tomorrow so we can play it.

I can't come over tomorrow.

Come on, what's up with you?

Nothing. I just... have plans.

What plans?

I'm going to a shooting range.

- Seriously? - With my mom.

She's gonna teach me how to shoot a gun-- a real gun.

I want to shoot a gun. Can I come?

Well, I don't know.

Would your dad even let you?

He hunts. And your mom's a cop.

There's, like, no one safer to go with.

I mean, I'm sure he'd be cool with it.

Can you ask?

Come on, just ask.

So I need to find a new independent study project,

and I was thinking I could do a paper

on the history of the foster care system,

and why it was created as an alternative

to orphanages in the United States.

Well, if you can sell it to the administration...

Great. Thank you so much.

Oh, good.

Sorry, I was just checking out the beach.

Pretty crazy, right?

I could get used to it.

So what do you want to do?

I wouldn't mind watching the game.

I wouldn't mind either.

Frankly, I don't even think that Jenna's Monte's type.

How would you know what her type is?

You didn't even know she was gay.

Neither does she, which also worries me for Jenna.

Hey, boo. What's up?

Hey. Can I help with dinner?

Aren't you sweet?

But actually we have friends coming over last-minute.

And we are gonna order you guys some pizza. Is that okay?

Sure.

- So, mom. - Yeah?

I was thinking about what you said

about how after you were shot

you went to the shooting range and you felt better.

And I was thinking

maybe you could take me,

so you could teach me to shoot.

Why would you want to learn how to shoot a gun?

I just don't want to be scared.

Well, I think you should be scared.

Why don't you let mama and I talk about it?

- All right? - Okay.

It's just I sort of

told Connor that you were gonna take me,

and now he wants to come too.

Okay, let us talk, all right?

Well, I hope you agree the answer is no.

Hey, you're early.

Yeah, traffic was light.

I hope it's okay-- I invited A.J. to dinner.

Uh, yeah, sure.

Great.

I tape this so we can watch it later.

No, that's okay. I'll watch.

- You sure? - Yeah.

Who's playing?

Dude, it's the finals. How do you not know who's playing?

Brandon's not really into sports.

Music's his thing.

He actually got accepted into a very prestigious music camp

as a classical composer.

- Dad. - What, I can't brag about my super-talented son?

So if you're not into sports,

what's up with that Tony Gwynn ball in your room?

That was a gift from my grandfather.

He was a big Padres fan.

Me and my brother used to watch the game

from up on the water tower by the stadium.

You know what, B? We should take A.J. to a game.

I got a buddy who can get us seats behind home plate.

- For real? - Yeah, for real.

Speaking of my brother. Have you heard anything?

The good news is, we have every reason to believe he's alive.

There's no death certificate issued under his name,

no john doe that fits his description.

I mean, look, I can keep running his name through the system,

but I gotta be honest--

unless he commits a crime,

it's not easy to find someone who doesn't want to be found.

How do I look?

Verizon say neversettle.

Oh my god.

I-- I mean, hi.

Anyhow, when Lena met Stef,

Stef and I became fast friends.

and then, lucky for me,

I got them both in the divorce.

Yeah, lucky for her is right.

Wait, so I've never heard the story of how you two met.

Well, I was-- I--

Well, I thought I was straight

and separated from Brandon's father,

looking for a school for Brandon.

And, lo and behold, guess who was the head of admissions but...

And I started lingering after drop-off,

Um, then we went to lunch and to dinner,

And then I kissed her. And her face--

It was so cute.

I think she was a little surprised.

Of course, I was still trying to convince myself

that I was into men.

And Lena was in a relationship.

Which wasn't serious, obviously.

But I knew I was in love.

Well, who wouldn't be? I mean, look at her.

I'd marry her right now.

I'm kidding. I mean, I'm totally kidding.

Anyhow, it's not like you just suddenly were gay.

I mean, you had crushes. And you had--

You had that whole thing with the girl in college.

Come on, every girl had something in college.

No, no, not everyone. I didn't.

You didn't?

I didn't know that.

How about you, Monte? Did you?

No, actually.

I-- I mean, I've had crushes, I guess.

So who's ready for some dessert?

You know, I am. But I need to use the restroom first.

Do you remember where it is?

I do, yeah. Excuse me.

Stop looking at her ass, Jenna.

- Monte. - Hi, Callie.

Can I come and talk to you tomorrow?

I have something I want to ask you about my independent study,

- If that would be okay. - Okay.

Why don't you come by my office tomorrow after class?

Excuse me, I gotta use the little girls' room.

What's with him?

Beats me. I hardly know the guy.

You really trust him?

Why do you ask?

You're the reason he's here, right?

Well, did you trust me when I first got here?

I don't know. But you were a lot prettier.

So what you're saying is I'm not pretty anymore?

I just don't want to see my dad get played, you know?

I gotta get to work.

Okay, can we talk about Jenna

when Monte walked into the kitchen?

"Wow." What was that?

She has no filter.

Yeah, I think I detected a little bit of a spark though.

I still don't think Monte's a lesbian.

- What? - And if they dated,

I just-- I wouldn't feel comfortable with Jenna

sharing personal stuff about us with my boss.

You shared personal stuff about us with your boss.

And that was a mistake.

I regret it. And I'm sorry.

And I have been very careful

not to cross that line again.

Thank you.

Oh, you know, Adam called me and said

that apparently Connor is very, very excited

about going to the shooting range.

And he said it's okay if I take him, so...

You've never taken any of the other kids.

I know. Maybe I should.

We've got a gun in the house.

I know I keep it locked up,

but, you know, it's not a bad thing

to teach them about gun safety,

especially if they're curious.

Honestly, it doesn't seem like Jude

to be curious about something like this.

You really think he's gonna feel better after shooting a gun?

I don't know. Maybe.

I did.

I just wanted to say thank you again for last night.

I hope Jenna wasn't too--

No, but, I mean, I did think

- She was a little... - Enthusiastic?

At first.

But then,

well, we actually went out for a drink

after we left your house.

And she's very funny and interesting.

So you think you want to see her again?

I'd like to.

Unless you don't want me to, for some reason.

I don't want you to date any women.

I mean--

What I mean is that...

I want you to be straight.

Because if you're straight,

then there's no reason

for me to tell my wife that you tried to kiss me,

because it really didn't mean anything.

But if you're gay, then not telling her...

Is like a betrayal.

So what if you tell her?

She's certainly not gonna feel great about us working together.

So sorry I put you in this position,

But it's not like you kissed me.

It's just something stupid I did.

And if it's just gonna make Stef uncomfortable,

is there really any point?

So manifest destiny

was stimulated by nationalism,

but also by an idealistic vision

of human perfectibility.

Now it was believed at the time

that it was America's duty to extend

liberty and democratic institutions

across the continent.

Uh, excuse me.

Are you not interested in manifest destiny?

No, just destined for the bathroom.

Is that okay?

Yeah.

So, as I was saying, manifest--

Can I use the bathroom too, please?

Callie, you know the rules. One at a time.

So in 1836...

I just had a customer

who asked about our churronuts,

third one today, in fact.

You know, that's so funny,

because we actually had someone ask us the exact same thing.

I wonder where people are getting the idea

we served something trendy like that?

Hmm, I wonder.

But, I mean, it's what the people want.

Actually, I know where.

I asked one young lady, and she said

she got something called a "Tweet"

sent to her from someone called

@Marianamissthing?

Okay, but before you say anything,

take a look.

*M'm'm'my churronut*

Isn't it awesome?

Mariana's, like, a computer genius.

It is awesome.

But we don't sell churronuts,

Not now, not ever.

Because...

Tradicion es para siempre.

But this bakery isn't going to be forever

if you don't do something to bring business in.

Mariana, you're new to this family,

But you--

You know better, mija.

I'm so sorry.

This is gonna be awesome.

Okay, did you guys see me practice.

The three "Always," Like we talked about? What are they?

Always point the firearm in a safe direction.

- Right. - Always assume it's loaded. And, um...

Always keep your finger

off the trigger until you're ready to fire.

Good job. All right, Jude, you want to go first?

- Okay. - All right.

All right, now your stance is,

your feet are shoulder-width apart, okay?

Pick up the gun. Finger off the trigger. Well done.

And you're gonna use this hand to cup

underneath your dominant hand. There you go.

Now you're gonna line this sight up

in between these two sights back here.

- Okay. - Okay, go for it.

Jude?

I don't want to shoot it.

- Why not? - I don't need to.

All right. You want to give it a shot?

Yeah, totally.

Okay, your stance... feet are shoulder-width apart.

Finger off the trigger. Okay?

You line up your sights-- this one in between these two.

Yeah, I know how to do it. It's just like in the game.

Who's there?

You okay?

Yeah, yeah, I'm okay. That was cool.

Yeah.

Want to sit down for a sec?

No, I'm okay.

I'm actually... I'm gonna go wait outside.

- Where's A.J.? - He's gone.

- You think he might be here? - I don't know.

This is where he used to come to meet his brother

when they were in separate homes.

Maybe he thinks he'll find him here.

It's a pretty big park.

You okay if we split up?

- Yeah. - Okay.

- You got your phone? - Yeah.

You okay?

I'm fine.

I never wanted to shoot a gun.

My mom wasn't gonna take me shooting.

I just said that because I was embarrassed

that I didn't want to play that zombie game.

Why were you embarrassed?

You call me a granny.

I don't know. I guess I'm...

I'm not okay.

You know, it was my dad who took me to the gun range

for the first time when I was about your age.

Man, was I excited to shoot a real gun.

I walked up to that firing line,

aiming my gun for the head and fired

and immediately burst into tears.

I was so embarrassed.

I knew my dad was gonna give me a hard time about it.

But you know what? He didn't.

He said he was really proud of me

for recognizing that shooting a gun is not a game.

It's very, very real and has very real consequences.

He always told me that his goal as a police officer

was to never have to shoot his firearm on the job.

Never did. Never got shot at.

And we can't say that, can we?

We can talk about it though, you know.

I know I need to.

It's important. It's important for me, that's for sure.

I didn't remember much after it happened.

- But now sometimes... - You dream about it?

Yeah, me too.

It's weird. It's not the same.

It's not the same scenario...

A.J.

- What are you doing here? - It's a free country.

This where you and your brother used to meet?

Being up here would make me feel like a superhero too.

So what's the plan?

Just gonna wait up here until he shows, if he shows?

Why do you care?

You don't want me around.

Mike does.

He's not gonna look for Ty.

- Who says? - He said.

He said it's a waste of time.

He said you can't find someone that doesn't want to be found.

Well, he's here,

wasting his time looking for you right now.

So...

I've been where you are.

And at a certain point, you just...

you have to learn to trust somebody.

Ty is not gonna know where to find me.

So you'll find him.

And Mike will help you.

I quit. You don't need the help,

and you don't have to pay me to get to know me.

And I may not know how things work in this family,

but I do know that business is bad

and things aren't going to get better by refusing to try new things.

And Adriana just wants to help you, because she loves you.

Okay.

Well, that's all I wanted to say,

except it might interest you to know

that a cronut sells for approximately $6 apiece,

which is seven times more than a donut

and 3.5 times more than a croissant,

Which I don't have to tell you is a high profit...

Okay.

Okay what?

Let's make churronuts.

Did you hear that? We're making churronuts!

Aren't you supposed to, like, arrest me or something?

Nah, I'm off duty.

Besides, I didn't see anything.

You sure you're okay with me putting your number up here?

You know what? I hadn't even thought of that.

Can you take it down?

- Yeah. - I'm kidding.

It's not my number.

It's yours.

I got you this for before,

you know, in case we ever needed to get in touch with each other.

Now, if Ty shows up, he can get in touch too.

Come on, let's get you home.

*M'm'm'my churronuts*

Okay, come with me right now.

- Where are we going? - I need your help.

- It's an app? - I'm gonna call it "Fost and found,"

so Foster kids can find each other and communicate.

I think this is a great idea.

Mariana's gonna help me code.

I am.

Okay, but what happened to the drop-in center?

Well, this is a drop-in center...

just for kids who can't physically drop in.

Is this what you wanted to talk to Monte about?

Uh, no. I mean, sort of.

I actually just got this idea from A.J.

This app would kind of be

like giving every kid their own bat signal.

And, Mariana, you're gonna have time to help out with this?

I guess.

I mean, totally.

I don't see any reason why Monte

and the teachers' board wouldn't approve this.

Thank you. Thank you.

Okay, why don't you two go set the table for dinner, please?

I would say A.J.'s been a good influence so far.

What the hell are you doing?