The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 2, Episode 17 - The Great Casino Robbery: Part 2 - full transcript
Sister Bertrille finds Uncle Reggie, who is still the prime suspect in the casino robbery. Unfortunately for Uncle Reggie, Captain Fomento also finds him. Sister Bertrille however convinces Carlos and Captain Fomento of Uncle Reggie's possible innocence, and devises a plan to flush out the real thieves: report that Uncle Reggie has been caught and charged with the theft, so that the real thieves will let their guards' down. It works as Bruce and Faye, still under cover at the convent as Sister Mary Grace, decide that it is time to leave San Tanco. The sisters unwittingly leak to thief Faye that the story of Uncle Reggie's guilt is just a ploy. Faye as Sister Mary Grace still meets up with Bruce at the airport, but Sister Bertrille sees the two together in a compromising position and sees Bruce take off with Sister Mary Grace's luggage, and suspects they may be the possible crooks. With information from Uncle Reggie and Carlos, Sister Bertrille pieces the whole thing together. She follows Sister Mary Grace/Faye to Bruce's hideout and manages to steal their car, leaving the two thieves stranded - they are forced to walk a mile to their departure point of the harbor. Sister Bertrille alerts Captain Fomento and Carlos, who rush to the harbor to apprehend the thieves. But Sister Bertrille beats them to the harbor and confronts the crooks, who have her at gunpoint. As Bruce trips, he accidentally pulls the trigger and the gun goes off. Next they know, Bruce and Faye sees Sister Bertrille up in the air, thinking that they killed her and what they see is her angel. Just then, Captain Fomento and Carlos arrive on the scene and arrest the crooks.
JACQUELINE: This is
the Convent San Tanco.
Soon to be known as
the Convent San Quentin.
It all started last
week with the arrival
of Sister Bertrille's
Uncle Reggie.
A man with a rather shady past
and a not too sunny future.
Uncle Reggie had come to work
at Casino Carlos as a pit boss.
He was a man of
great imagination
and one of the ideas
he gave Carlos was
a glass-enclosed counting room.
He also inadvertently gave
these two characters ideas
to steal the money.
How, was an elaborate plot.
Reverend Mother, there's a
Sister Mary Grace here to see you.
JACQUELINE: Well, to
make a long story short,
Carlos' casino was
robbed of every cent,
and Uncle Reggie
was the prime suspect.
Except Uncle Reggie
had disappeared.
Uncle Reggie!
Uncle Reggie!
And now Part 2 of The
Great Casino Robbery.
BERTRILLE: At exactly 2:35,
we got into the station wagon.
At exactly 3:03, we
arrived at the convent.
At exactly 3:04, we were
all fast asleep. Then...
Just one moment, please.
Now we have 2:35, 3:03 and 3:04.
Is that correct? Right.
Five and three is
eight, four is twelve.
What are you doing?
Uh, I'm seeing if
everything adds up.
CARLOS: To what?
To 842.
Now, if you will permit
me to reconstruct the crime,
from the moment the nuns
left the casino, the thief...
Alleged thief.
The alleged nuns
left the casino,
the alleged thief
proceeded to...
Captain, we know what
he proceeded to do.
Sister Bertrille,
this morning I checked your
uncle's references in Las Vegas.
He never managed the casino.
He was a doorman.
Doorman? Oh, poor Uncle Reggie.
Poor Uncle Reggie?
Poor Uncle Reggie's
not poor anymore.
Do you know how much
money was in my counting room?
About $50,000 worth.
$49,500 and some odd dollars.
And no change.
Where is he hiding?
Captain Fomento,
can't you see that
she was taken in by
him as much as I was?
That's right. I mean,
no, that's not right.
I mean, all you have is
circumstantial evidence.
Well, sure, it was his idea
to look for the rare coins,
and sure, you gave him the
combination to the counting room,
and sure, he's disappeared.
But does that mean he's a thief?
Sure!
REGGIE: May I speak
to Sister Bertrille, please?
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Yes. Just a moment.
It's for you, Sister Bertrille.
Thank you, Reverend
Mother. Hello?
Hello, Sister.
Do you know to
who you are talking?
No, I'm afraid not.
I am a distant
relative of yours.
How distant?
Three miles south on
the San Raphael Road.
At the Rodriguez
farm. I'll be in the barn.
Right. Well, be of
good cheer, senor.
Yes. Right away. Goodbye.
It was one of our
parishioners, Reverend Mother.
He's in need of some
comforting, and I know it's late,
but I think I should go
and see what I can do.
Yes, yes. Of course. Do we have
enough gas in the station wagon?
Well, if it's all right
with you, I'd rather fly.
It might cheer me up a bit.
Yes, you go right ahead.
And, Sister Bertrille, give
our best to Uncle Reggie.
(CHICKEN CLUCKING)
Now that's what
I call a disguise.
Did anybody follow you?
No, just a seagull
and a few hawks.
Then you... Yeah, well
never mind how I got here.
Elsie, if you'd just let
me put you in the circus,
we wouldn't be in
the mess we're in now.
May I remind you that you are
the only one of us who's in trouble?
Then I was right.
Everyone thinks
I'm guilty, even you.
If you're not, then
what're you doing here?
Rehearsing for a 4-H show?
So help me, I didn't
take that money.
Then why did you cut out?
Elsie, I've been
indicted six times.
Yes, but every single time the
charges were dropped. Isn't that right?
Exactly. That's right.
But I can't risk another
miscarriage of justice.
The law of averages
are against me.
FOMENTO: Hands up!
I got you covered.
(CHUCKLING) Up.
Up. Up with the hands.
FOMENTO: Okay.
I knew he looked suspicious
when I saw him
sneaking into the barn.
You will get your
share of the reward,
Senor Rodriguez, I promise you.
Reginald Overton
Perkins, you are under...
Wait a minute, Captain.
I'm gonna give myself
up of my own free will.
Arrest.
He beat you to it.
That's pretty sneaky
of you, you know.
Put your hand down here.
And you, too. Sister Bertrille,
alias, whatever it may be,
I'm arresting you as
an accessory... Alleged.
Sister Bertrille, you're
going to drive me crazy.
And that's the
whole story, Carlos.
When I left the casino
last night and locked up,
I didn't have any money in
my pocket except my day's pay.
And whoever stole that
money came in after I left.
Senor Reggie, you are free to go
or free to go wherever you wish.
A word of warning.
Don't leave the town.
Well, I understand.
There, you see, Elsie?
You wonder why an
innocent man always runs?
Why don't you go out
and look for the real crooks
instead of torturing
poor Uncle Reggie?
I assure you, Sister
Bertrille, and you, too, senor,
that whoever took the money
will not be able to leave the island.
Because I have the airport, the
harbor, the freeways, the byways,
the police station, but everything,
everything is being watched.
So in other words,
the crooks don't dare
make a move until
they think it's safe?
Exactly.
So why don't you
make them think it is?
Oh, what are you talking about?
Captain Fomento, I
demand you arrest
Uncle Reggie for the
robbery of the casino.
Sister Mary Grace, please.
Thank you. Hello.
Hi. Did you read
the afternoon paper?
Joy to the world.
Yeah.
I couldn't have found a better
pigeon if I framed him myself.
May fortune follow
us the rest of the way.
I think it's safe to
blow this town now.
There's a 10:30
flight leaving for Rio.
Oh, bless you, Cousin.
So say your goodbyes
and meet me at the airport.
Amen.
I'm sorry that I have to
leave sooner than I planned.
Well, it was a pleasure having
you visit with us, Sister Mary Grace.
Are you sure you're
well enough to travel?
Oh, I'll, uh, I'll call
on inner strength.
Now you be sure and
watch for those BUs, Sister.
We won't look for the BUs
till we find the C-R-O-O-K.
But they did find him.
Oh, and I'm sorry he turned out
to be your uncle, Sister Bertrille.
Oh, no. My uncle didn't do it.
Of course not.
You just keep
believing that, dear.
No, it's true.
That newspaper
story was just a ploy.
You know, a trick.
A trick?
Yes, it was Sister
Bertrille's idea.
Yes, to flush out the
real crooks, you see?
When they think
the coast is clear,
well, then they'll cut
out with the money.
Very ingenious.
Well, it's not exactly honest,
but you have to
fight fire with fire.
Yeah.
Here you are.
Bye. Goodbye.
Thank you.
MAN: (ON PA SYSTEM) All passengers
holding space on VRA Flight 47 to New York
may now board at Gate 6.
That's VRA Flight 47
now boarding at Gate 6.
Well, we seem
to be a little early.
Maybe I'll get myself
something to read.
Oh, I'll get it for you.
What would you like?
Oh. Uh, anything.
Anything, of religious
nature, that is.
You're late.
Bruce, we can't go.
Relax, baby. Don't
lose your nerve now.
Come on.
MAN: (ON PA SYSTEM) Mr. R.H.
Rempson, please go to a VRA courtesy phone.
There you are. The closest thing
I could get to
anything religious
is the Christmas issue
of Popular Mechanics.
(SIGHING) What's the matter?
Is your malaria acting up again?
Yes, I'm afraid so.
I think I should go back to the
convent for a few more days.
Do you... Do you
think they'd mind?
Mind? Us?
Then, when I looked up from the
magazine stand, they were kissing.
Well, maybe she's just
the affectionate type.
Or maybe he was a smasher.
Masher. And he wasn't.
I could tell that they
knew each other.
That's certainly very
strange behavior for a Sister.
Yes, if she is a Sister.
And come to think of it,
we never received that letter
from the bishop in Africa, did we?
That's true. Maybe
it was intercepted
by a hostile tribe
of stamp collectors.
Talking about collectors,
don't you think it's a
coincidence that on the very night
we decide to go to
Carlos' counting room,
she turns out to
be a num... a num...
A numismatist. A numismatist.
She is? You mean
she's not even Catholic?
That was a delicious
lunch, Sister Sixto.
Mmm-hmm. Thank you very much.
Talking about lunch,
did you ever run into
any cannibals,
Sister Mary Grace?
Oh, heavens, no.
All of our natives
were vegetarians.
By the way, what language
do they speak in Uganda?
Oh, why, the native
language, of course.
Swahili, right?
Right.
Sister, do you miss
Africa very much?
Oh, I wish I were
there right now.
Well, well,
we have a very nice surprise
for you, Sister Mary Grace.
Uh, something to, um, cure
a case of homesickness.
Sister Bertrille.
You see, yesterday
afternoon I went to the library
and I got a book on
Swahili folk songs.
♪ (SINGING)
Do you recognize it?
Yes, it's a...
It's a very famous folksong
popular in that region.
What does it mean?
Oh, it means, uh...
You see there's...
It's... It's about, uh...
It's about this warrior who's
captured by the enemy tribe
and he's forced to marry
the chieftain's only...
Daughter? Daughter.
And, his sweetheart is left in
his own village very, very, uh...
Heartbroken. Heartbroken. Yes.
Why don't you join
me in an encore?
Oh.
Oh, please. Please. Please.
Well, I'd love to but
I'm afraid that I'm
getting another one
of my headaches.
I think it is time to
call the authorities.
San Juan Weather Bureau?
Have you got the
right number, Sister.
And the prediction
is for fair and sunny.
Yeah, well not around
here. I think I've blown it.
BRUCE: What?
He who is with sin
is about to be stoned.
Then we've got to move.
How?
By boat. I'm making
arrangements for one now.
And when do we
cross the River Jordan?
I'll pick you up outside the convent
gates at 7:30 sharp. Now be there.
Yeah.
So, if Sister Mary Grace is
pretending to be a coin expert,
is it not very possible,
in fact very probable,
that her partner is the coin
expert you met at the bar?
Carlos, if this little girl doesn't
become the first lady bishop,
the Church is gonna
have to answer to me.
If I get my money back,
she'll have my vote, too.
We do not have a moment to lose.
Where is this so-called Sister?
You point her out
to me and I will...
Captain. Yes?
Don't you think you're
being a little bit premature?
I see what you mean. I shall
alert the TV and the newspapers
so that they can
witness the arrest, huh?
Brilliant. Brilliant. Very
good thinking, Sister Bertrille.
Very brilliant...
Capitan, please,
I don't think that's exactly
what she has in mind.
No? No. I mean,
if you arrest Sister
Mary Grace now,
then her partner will
cut out with the money.
Fortunately, as usual,
I have the answer.
We will keep our eye
on this so-called Sister,
so instead, she will undoubtedly
lead us to her partner in crime.
Oh.
I'm sorry. I thought I
left my prayer book...
Excuse me.
And where are you going?
To follow her.
May I remind you,
Sister Bertrille,
that only I give
orders around here?
Follow her.
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
I still say you could
have bluffed it through.
How?
They didn't teach
Swahili at Allentown High.
(CREAKING)
Are you sure nobody
saw you leave?
Of course I'm sure.
What do you take me for?
FAYE: Get me some
shoes. BRUCE: Yeah.
Leave out that scarf, too.
Now where'd you
get the boat, anyway?
(CHUCKLING) You'll never guess.
Well, I'm not going
to try. Where?
I bought it from Carlos Ramirez.
Oh, you're crazy.
Well, I thought it
was kind of cute.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(THUDDING)
Who is that?
(GRUNTS)
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
What do we do now? We walk.
How far is it to the
boat? About a mile.
A mile? Well, how
long do you think it'll be
before she comes
back with the troops?
Start walking.
I accidentally knocked over this
flower pot and I was so terrified.
And then they all came
running out of the house after me.
Well, what did you do?
Well, what any
girl would do. I flew.
Do you think they'll catch them?
Depends on how fast
the crooks can walk.
Or run. How far were
they from the boat?
About a mile. But they
got a pretty big head start.
Oh, but it's over
five miles from here.
Well, what am I
doing standing here?
You mean you're going to fly?
You're right. Here I go.
Here. Watch yourself.
Oh. Oh, we made it.
Yeah, well, no time to rest now.
Come on, help me
with these ropes. Oh, no.
Hey, did you just drop these?
Rosary beads. Are you kidding?
I believe they're mine.
But you're welcome to use them
if you like, to pray for your
salvation which I highly recommend.
Wait a minute. Just
how did you get here?
It doesn't matter anyway.
Sister, look, I may be as
pious as the next man, but...
It's bad luck to kill a nun.
Yeah, for the nun, it is.
Now, that's not a
very pious remark.
Sister, I promise you a
good Christian burial at sea.
No, Bruce, no.
(GUN FIRING)
You jerk!
I tripped and it went off.
Where is she? Did she go over?
Maybe. Look for her.
BRUCE: Where is she?
Well, she must have
fallen overboard.
Well, I didn't hear a splash.
Well, she didn't fly away!
Bruce. What?
Look.
Uh... Uh...
You killed her.
Well, I didn't mean
to. Can you pray?
The only thing I know is
"Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep."
(POLICE SIREN
WAILING) Let's have it.
Now I lay me down to sleep.
Drop your gun.
It was an accident.
Senor, I want to warn you, you
will not be able to get away with this,
with this plea of
accidental robbery.
Boy, am I glad to see you.
FOMENTO: How did
you get here before us?
Sister Bertrille,
I got the money.
Well, I... I took a shortcut.
It's a miracle.
BRUCE: She's alive. Look.
She's all right.
She's all right? She's the best.
Do you have to go, Uncle Reggie?
Oh, I figure I'd better
not press my luck.
You know, this is the
first time in all my life
that I've ever left a job with
legitimate references in my pocket.
Besides, Tangiers will be
lovely this time of the year.
Elsie, my dear, would you
do me one favor before I go?
Depends.
Would you...
That's silly.
Please, just once.
Let's say it's a
going-away present.
Well, okay. Just once.
Was I lying?
$1,500 a week. Top
billing. Center ring.
REGGIE: Did you
hear that, Elsie?
I heard, and the answer is no.
Well, I tried.
Goodbye, Mr. Barnum.
My best to Mr. Bailey.
the Convent San Tanco.
Soon to be known as
the Convent San Quentin.
It all started last
week with the arrival
of Sister Bertrille's
Uncle Reggie.
A man with a rather shady past
and a not too sunny future.
Uncle Reggie had come to work
at Casino Carlos as a pit boss.
He was a man of
great imagination
and one of the ideas
he gave Carlos was
a glass-enclosed counting room.
He also inadvertently gave
these two characters ideas
to steal the money.
How, was an elaborate plot.
Reverend Mother, there's a
Sister Mary Grace here to see you.
JACQUELINE: Well, to
make a long story short,
Carlos' casino was
robbed of every cent,
and Uncle Reggie
was the prime suspect.
Except Uncle Reggie
had disappeared.
Uncle Reggie!
Uncle Reggie!
And now Part 2 of The
Great Casino Robbery.
BERTRILLE: At exactly 2:35,
we got into the station wagon.
At exactly 3:03, we
arrived at the convent.
At exactly 3:04, we were
all fast asleep. Then...
Just one moment, please.
Now we have 2:35, 3:03 and 3:04.
Is that correct? Right.
Five and three is
eight, four is twelve.
What are you doing?
Uh, I'm seeing if
everything adds up.
CARLOS: To what?
To 842.
Now, if you will permit
me to reconstruct the crime,
from the moment the nuns
left the casino, the thief...
Alleged thief.
The alleged nuns
left the casino,
the alleged thief
proceeded to...
Captain, we know what
he proceeded to do.
Sister Bertrille,
this morning I checked your
uncle's references in Las Vegas.
He never managed the casino.
He was a doorman.
Doorman? Oh, poor Uncle Reggie.
Poor Uncle Reggie?
Poor Uncle Reggie's
not poor anymore.
Do you know how much
money was in my counting room?
About $50,000 worth.
$49,500 and some odd dollars.
And no change.
Where is he hiding?
Captain Fomento,
can't you see that
she was taken in by
him as much as I was?
That's right. I mean,
no, that's not right.
I mean, all you have is
circumstantial evidence.
Well, sure, it was his idea
to look for the rare coins,
and sure, you gave him the
combination to the counting room,
and sure, he's disappeared.
But does that mean he's a thief?
Sure!
REGGIE: May I speak
to Sister Bertrille, please?
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
Yes. Just a moment.
It's for you, Sister Bertrille.
Thank you, Reverend
Mother. Hello?
Hello, Sister.
Do you know to
who you are talking?
No, I'm afraid not.
I am a distant
relative of yours.
How distant?
Three miles south on
the San Raphael Road.
At the Rodriguez
farm. I'll be in the barn.
Right. Well, be of
good cheer, senor.
Yes. Right away. Goodbye.
It was one of our
parishioners, Reverend Mother.
He's in need of some
comforting, and I know it's late,
but I think I should go
and see what I can do.
Yes, yes. Of course. Do we have
enough gas in the station wagon?
Well, if it's all right
with you, I'd rather fly.
It might cheer me up a bit.
Yes, you go right ahead.
And, Sister Bertrille, give
our best to Uncle Reggie.
(CHICKEN CLUCKING)
Now that's what
I call a disguise.
Did anybody follow you?
No, just a seagull
and a few hawks.
Then you... Yeah, well
never mind how I got here.
Elsie, if you'd just let
me put you in the circus,
we wouldn't be in
the mess we're in now.
May I remind you that you are
the only one of us who's in trouble?
Then I was right.
Everyone thinks
I'm guilty, even you.
If you're not, then
what're you doing here?
Rehearsing for a 4-H show?
So help me, I didn't
take that money.
Then why did you cut out?
Elsie, I've been
indicted six times.
Yes, but every single time the
charges were dropped. Isn't that right?
Exactly. That's right.
But I can't risk another
miscarriage of justice.
The law of averages
are against me.
FOMENTO: Hands up!
I got you covered.
(CHUCKLING) Up.
Up. Up with the hands.
FOMENTO: Okay.
I knew he looked suspicious
when I saw him
sneaking into the barn.
You will get your
share of the reward,
Senor Rodriguez, I promise you.
Reginald Overton
Perkins, you are under...
Wait a minute, Captain.
I'm gonna give myself
up of my own free will.
Arrest.
He beat you to it.
That's pretty sneaky
of you, you know.
Put your hand down here.
And you, too. Sister Bertrille,
alias, whatever it may be,
I'm arresting you as
an accessory... Alleged.
Sister Bertrille, you're
going to drive me crazy.
And that's the
whole story, Carlos.
When I left the casino
last night and locked up,
I didn't have any money in
my pocket except my day's pay.
And whoever stole that
money came in after I left.
Senor Reggie, you are free to go
or free to go wherever you wish.
A word of warning.
Don't leave the town.
Well, I understand.
There, you see, Elsie?
You wonder why an
innocent man always runs?
Why don't you go out
and look for the real crooks
instead of torturing
poor Uncle Reggie?
I assure you, Sister
Bertrille, and you, too, senor,
that whoever took the money
will not be able to leave the island.
Because I have the airport, the
harbor, the freeways, the byways,
the police station, but everything,
everything is being watched.
So in other words,
the crooks don't dare
make a move until
they think it's safe?
Exactly.
So why don't you
make them think it is?
Oh, what are you talking about?
Captain Fomento, I
demand you arrest
Uncle Reggie for the
robbery of the casino.
Sister Mary Grace, please.
Thank you. Hello.
Hi. Did you read
the afternoon paper?
Joy to the world.
Yeah.
I couldn't have found a better
pigeon if I framed him myself.
May fortune follow
us the rest of the way.
I think it's safe to
blow this town now.
There's a 10:30
flight leaving for Rio.
Oh, bless you, Cousin.
So say your goodbyes
and meet me at the airport.
Amen.
I'm sorry that I have to
leave sooner than I planned.
Well, it was a pleasure having
you visit with us, Sister Mary Grace.
Are you sure you're
well enough to travel?
Oh, I'll, uh, I'll call
on inner strength.
Now you be sure and
watch for those BUs, Sister.
We won't look for the BUs
till we find the C-R-O-O-K.
But they did find him.
Oh, and I'm sorry he turned out
to be your uncle, Sister Bertrille.
Oh, no. My uncle didn't do it.
Of course not.
You just keep
believing that, dear.
No, it's true.
That newspaper
story was just a ploy.
You know, a trick.
A trick?
Yes, it was Sister
Bertrille's idea.
Yes, to flush out the
real crooks, you see?
When they think
the coast is clear,
well, then they'll cut
out with the money.
Very ingenious.
Well, it's not exactly honest,
but you have to
fight fire with fire.
Yeah.
Here you are.
Bye. Goodbye.
Thank you.
MAN: (ON PA SYSTEM) All passengers
holding space on VRA Flight 47 to New York
may now board at Gate 6.
That's VRA Flight 47
now boarding at Gate 6.
Well, we seem
to be a little early.
Maybe I'll get myself
something to read.
Oh, I'll get it for you.
What would you like?
Oh. Uh, anything.
Anything, of religious
nature, that is.
You're late.
Bruce, we can't go.
Relax, baby. Don't
lose your nerve now.
Come on.
MAN: (ON PA SYSTEM) Mr. R.H.
Rempson, please go to a VRA courtesy phone.
There you are. The closest thing
I could get to
anything religious
is the Christmas issue
of Popular Mechanics.
(SIGHING) What's the matter?
Is your malaria acting up again?
Yes, I'm afraid so.
I think I should go back to the
convent for a few more days.
Do you... Do you
think they'd mind?
Mind? Us?
Then, when I looked up from the
magazine stand, they were kissing.
Well, maybe she's just
the affectionate type.
Or maybe he was a smasher.
Masher. And he wasn't.
I could tell that they
knew each other.
That's certainly very
strange behavior for a Sister.
Yes, if she is a Sister.
And come to think of it,
we never received that letter
from the bishop in Africa, did we?
That's true. Maybe
it was intercepted
by a hostile tribe
of stamp collectors.
Talking about collectors,
don't you think it's a
coincidence that on the very night
we decide to go to
Carlos' counting room,
she turns out to
be a num... a num...
A numismatist. A numismatist.
She is? You mean
she's not even Catholic?
That was a delicious
lunch, Sister Sixto.
Mmm-hmm. Thank you very much.
Talking about lunch,
did you ever run into
any cannibals,
Sister Mary Grace?
Oh, heavens, no.
All of our natives
were vegetarians.
By the way, what language
do they speak in Uganda?
Oh, why, the native
language, of course.
Swahili, right?
Right.
Sister, do you miss
Africa very much?
Oh, I wish I were
there right now.
Well, well,
we have a very nice surprise
for you, Sister Mary Grace.
Uh, something to, um, cure
a case of homesickness.
Sister Bertrille.
You see, yesterday
afternoon I went to the library
and I got a book on
Swahili folk songs.
♪ (SINGING)
Do you recognize it?
Yes, it's a...
It's a very famous folksong
popular in that region.
What does it mean?
Oh, it means, uh...
You see there's...
It's... It's about, uh...
It's about this warrior who's
captured by the enemy tribe
and he's forced to marry
the chieftain's only...
Daughter? Daughter.
And, his sweetheart is left in
his own village very, very, uh...
Heartbroken. Heartbroken. Yes.
Why don't you join
me in an encore?
Oh.
Oh, please. Please. Please.
Well, I'd love to but
I'm afraid that I'm
getting another one
of my headaches.
I think it is time to
call the authorities.
San Juan Weather Bureau?
Have you got the
right number, Sister.
And the prediction
is for fair and sunny.
Yeah, well not around
here. I think I've blown it.
BRUCE: What?
He who is with sin
is about to be stoned.
Then we've got to move.
How?
By boat. I'm making
arrangements for one now.
And when do we
cross the River Jordan?
I'll pick you up outside the convent
gates at 7:30 sharp. Now be there.
Yeah.
So, if Sister Mary Grace is
pretending to be a coin expert,
is it not very possible,
in fact very probable,
that her partner is the coin
expert you met at the bar?
Carlos, if this little girl doesn't
become the first lady bishop,
the Church is gonna
have to answer to me.
If I get my money back,
she'll have my vote, too.
We do not have a moment to lose.
Where is this so-called Sister?
You point her out
to me and I will...
Captain. Yes?
Don't you think you're
being a little bit premature?
I see what you mean. I shall
alert the TV and the newspapers
so that they can
witness the arrest, huh?
Brilliant. Brilliant. Very
good thinking, Sister Bertrille.
Very brilliant...
Capitan, please,
I don't think that's exactly
what she has in mind.
No? No. I mean,
if you arrest Sister
Mary Grace now,
then her partner will
cut out with the money.
Fortunately, as usual,
I have the answer.
We will keep our eye
on this so-called Sister,
so instead, she will undoubtedly
lead us to her partner in crime.
Oh.
I'm sorry. I thought I
left my prayer book...
Excuse me.
And where are you going?
To follow her.
May I remind you,
Sister Bertrille,
that only I give
orders around here?
Follow her.
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
I still say you could
have bluffed it through.
How?
They didn't teach
Swahili at Allentown High.
(CREAKING)
Are you sure nobody
saw you leave?
Of course I'm sure.
What do you take me for?
FAYE: Get me some
shoes. BRUCE: Yeah.
Leave out that scarf, too.
Now where'd you
get the boat, anyway?
(CHUCKLING) You'll never guess.
Well, I'm not going
to try. Where?
I bought it from Carlos Ramirez.
Oh, you're crazy.
Well, I thought it
was kind of cute.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(THUDDING)
Who is that?
(GRUNTS)
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
What do we do now? We walk.
How far is it to the
boat? About a mile.
A mile? Well, how
long do you think it'll be
before she comes
back with the troops?
Start walking.
I accidentally knocked over this
flower pot and I was so terrified.
And then they all came
running out of the house after me.
Well, what did you do?
Well, what any
girl would do. I flew.
Do you think they'll catch them?
Depends on how fast
the crooks can walk.
Or run. How far were
they from the boat?
About a mile. But they
got a pretty big head start.
Oh, but it's over
five miles from here.
Well, what am I
doing standing here?
You mean you're going to fly?
You're right. Here I go.
Here. Watch yourself.
Oh. Oh, we made it.
Yeah, well, no time to rest now.
Come on, help me
with these ropes. Oh, no.
Hey, did you just drop these?
Rosary beads. Are you kidding?
I believe they're mine.
But you're welcome to use them
if you like, to pray for your
salvation which I highly recommend.
Wait a minute. Just
how did you get here?
It doesn't matter anyway.
Sister, look, I may be as
pious as the next man, but...
It's bad luck to kill a nun.
Yeah, for the nun, it is.
Now, that's not a
very pious remark.
Sister, I promise you a
good Christian burial at sea.
No, Bruce, no.
(GUN FIRING)
You jerk!
I tripped and it went off.
Where is she? Did she go over?
Maybe. Look for her.
BRUCE: Where is she?
Well, she must have
fallen overboard.
Well, I didn't hear a splash.
Well, she didn't fly away!
Bruce. What?
Look.
Uh... Uh...
You killed her.
Well, I didn't mean
to. Can you pray?
The only thing I know is
"Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep."
(POLICE SIREN
WAILING) Let's have it.
Now I lay me down to sleep.
Drop your gun.
It was an accident.
Senor, I want to warn you, you
will not be able to get away with this,
with this plea of
accidental robbery.
Boy, am I glad to see you.
FOMENTO: How did
you get here before us?
Sister Bertrille,
I got the money.
Well, I... I took a shortcut.
It's a miracle.
BRUCE: She's alive. Look.
She's all right.
She's all right? She's the best.
Do you have to go, Uncle Reggie?
Oh, I figure I'd better
not press my luck.
You know, this is the
first time in all my life
that I've ever left a job with
legitimate references in my pocket.
Besides, Tangiers will be
lovely this time of the year.
Elsie, my dear, would you
do me one favor before I go?
Depends.
Would you...
That's silly.
Please, just once.
Let's say it's a
going-away present.
Well, okay. Just once.
Was I lying?
$1,500 a week. Top
billing. Center ring.
REGGIE: Did you
hear that, Elsie?
I heard, and the answer is no.
Well, I tried.
Goodbye, Mr. Barnum.
My best to Mr. Bailey.