The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 2, Episode 15 - A Star Is Reborn - full transcript
Actress Sabrina Michaels is trying to escape from her movie star life and her philandering co-star and fiancé, Spencer Michaels. She has walked off the set of her movie and in her escape, has a near fatal drowning caused by and saved by Sister Bertrille. While swimming away, Sabrina sees Sister Bertrille flying which caused her to faint and nearly drown. However, while she is recuperating at the convent, Sabrina states that she had a religious vision, that being the flying sister. The sisters don't correct her thought. However this vision causes Sabrina to rethink her life and she decides to become a nun. Meanwhile, Sabrina's producer, Harold Harmon, plans on suing her for breach of contract and has to serve her papers. The sisters are suspicious of every stranger who stops by the convent, most of whom are process servers. However one claiming to be Father Duffy, an old friend of the Reverend Mother's, they also suspect to be a process server masquerading as a priest. In the Reverend Mother's absence, the sisters treat Father Duffy as such a priest in disguise. Unfortunately for the sisters, he is really the Reverend Mother's old friend Father Duffy. Back to Sabrina, the Reverend Mother convinces her that she should return to her life as a movie actress by showing her that she did not have a vision, and that Sister Bertrille really can fly.
JACQUELINE: Before Sister
Bertrille came to Convent San Tanco,
Sister Sixto used to go to the
fish market and return with fish.
Now that Sister Bertrille has
been assigned to accompany her,
there's no telling
what they'll bring back.
Look, there's Carlos.
Hey, maybe after
we're finished shopping,
he'll give us a lift back
to the convent in his car.
I wouldn't mind being lifted.
It's 3 miles as the crow fleas.
No, that's "flies."
Fleas are those little tiny
insects that you find on animals.
I thought those were flies.
Well, they are flies...
Yes?
It's very complicated.
Sister Sixto, look at that.
I don't think the Reverend
Mother would want I should look.
You know, she
looks familiar to me.
I thought she was
Charlie Chaplin
until she took off
her moustache.
Sabrina!
It's H.H. Who?
Harold Harmon, my producer.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Oh, yes.
HAROLD: Sabrina,
wait! I have to talk to you!
I must talk to you, darling!
Sabrina!
That's who it is.
It's Sabrina Lewis.
Sabrina Lewis. The movie star?
Yes. No!
Oh, I wish I could
get a closer look.
You could if you
were a good swimmer.
Sister Sixto, why don't
you go buy the fish?
I'll meet you back here
in about 10 minutes.
Where are you going?
To get a closer look.
What was that?
What's what?
Well, don't you see?
Si, I see. I see
you, I see the sea.
So, what else is there to see?
I think I'm flipping.
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
I mean, we cannot leave Mr. Harmon
standing on the dock forever.
Forget about Mr. Harmon.
Okay. Now what about Spencer?
Forget about Spencer.
But he's your fiance.
At least give him a
chance to explain himself.
Do you think that that
girl meant anything to him?
Believe me, she was nothing.
Well, did you date her, too?
He loves you. He's very upset.
Only because I
walked off the picture
and he's afraid he might
lose the best part he ever had.
Oh, no. That's not
what he told me.
He would turn in his
mother for a good close-up.
That is an unmitigated lie.
You rat! I might have known it.
CARLOS: Sabrina, be reasonable.
Sabrina.
Take the wheel.
Swing her around.
What for?
Well, to rescue her,
what do you think?
Are you kidding?
She was a stand-in
for Esther Williams.
Do you need any
help, Miss Lewis?
JACQUELINE: Just how Sister
Bertrille maneuvered things
so that Sabrina Lewis was taken
to Convent San
Tanco to recuperate
was never very clear.
But the presence of
such a celebrated person
didn't do much for
our work schedule.
And I'm afraid I was
as guilty as the others.
Sister Sixto,
that's not very nice.
How'd she look?
Beautiful.
Just like when she was dying
in the Seven Faces Of Sin.
Oh, Sister, how
can I ever thank you?
Oh. How can I thank
you, Miss Lewis?
I mean... I mean, it was
really a privilege to save you.
Reverend Mother, I, uh,
I've been hesitant
about telling you this,
but I... I guess it
must have been
when I was going down
for the third time, I...
I had a vision.
A vision? Yes.
A beautiful angel, all in white,
descending from the heavens,
with her arms
stretching out to me.
Miss Lewis, when one is in
such an extreme situation,
one is likely to imagine things.
Oh, well, I'm sure
that's true. It's just...
The interesting thing is, she
looked exactly like Sister Bertrille.
Well, isn't that funny?
Yes.
Somewhere out there there's
an angel who looks just like me.
I mean... I mean,
that's the first time
anyone's accused me
of being an angel, right?
I would say that's a
fair statement, yes.
Do you know something?
You remind me of
my reverend mother.
Your...
Miss Lewis,
you were a nun?
But, of course.
Didn't you see me in
The Cross and the Fire?
Oh. Yes, yes. Yes, I did.
You were very
impressive, Miss Lewis.
Well, Miss Lewis, I... I will
leave you two alone for now.
Oh, well, thank you,
Reverend Mother.
Sister, I... I seem
to be a bit confused.
Where did you come from exactly?
I mean, I don't remember
seeing your boat.
Well, I wasn't in a boat.
You were swimming
that far out to sea?
Not exactly. Sort of.
Anyway, it was nice I
was in the neighborhood.
Well...
These flowers that your fiance
sent you are just gorgeous.
If I know him, he probably
charged them to the studio.
He certainly has a great voice.
He called twice this morning.
Aren't you even
gonna talk to him?
I doubt it.
No, my dear.
I'm sorry to have to
shock you this way.
But you have no idea
what my life is like.
I'm so alone.
With all these friends?
Friends? Friends?
Parasites, you mean.
People who are only interested
in what they have to gain.
No, I'd rather...
I'd rather have a
single wildflower
tendered by the hand
of a simple peasant
than all of this gaudy display.
And then she said, "I would
rather have a single wildflower
"tendered by the hand
of a simple peasant
"than all of this
gaudy display."
Oh, it's just like watching
one of her movies.
Sister Bertrille, that was
from one of her movies.
What?
The one about the queen
who gives up her throne.
JACQUELINE: In
the week that followed,
Sabrina Lewis
really threw herself
into the spirit of convent life,
as she saw it.
In Panavision and Vistascope.
When, to be hospitable, Reverend
Mother invited her to say grace,
Sabrina eagerly accepted.
Bless us, O Lord
and these thy gifts, which
we are about to receive
from thy bounty
through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
The way Sabrina prayed,
we really expected an answer.
One day, Sabrina asked
to see Sister Estella.
The reason we were
all so surprised is that
Sister Estella spoke no English.
Later we got the explanation.
Sabrina had figured out that
Sister Estella was just her size.
What followed next shouldn't
have been a surprise, but it was.
Well, from the looks of this
breakfast tray, Miss Lewis,
I'd say you were
fully recovered.
And that means you'll
probably be leaving us soon
and going back to work, huh?
Which will probably be a
great relief to your boyfriend.
Did I mention that the last time he
called and you wouldn't talk to him,
he told me your producer
was going to sue you?
Sister Bertrille, I would like
you to be the first to know.
I have decided to become a nun.
Does that surprise you?
No.
But have you thought about
this carefully, Miss Lewis?
I mean, it's not something
you just decide just like that.
My dear, I've thought
of nothing else.
I've just never known such...
such inner peace and tranquility.
Now I am sure that
this is what I must do.
I'm afraid the decision
isn't entirely up to you.
You can petition, but
you have to be accepted.
And you might not be.
With my credits?
I'm sorry, Miss
Lewis, but I don't think
that's what the Reverend
Mother considers
when she interviews
an applicant.
Oh, there's an interview?
Well, I'm very
good at interviews.
As a matter of fact, I was
given a Golden Apple Award
by the press for being
the most cooperative.
Now, tell me, what sort
of questions will she ask?
Oh, whether you're
prepared to give up
all worldly goods and
earthly considerations.
To give up all thoughts of self.
Things like that.
To me, worldly goods
are only a hollow mockery
compared with the joy
of devotion to others.
How's that?
Not bad.
If you mean it.
My dear, if I'm accepted, I
would gladly give up everything.
My cars, my jewels,
my house, everything,
and of course, my mortgage.
Now tell me, what other questions
will the Reverend Mother ask?
Oh, lots of things.
Like for instance,
she might ask,
"Miss Lewis,
"have you given any thought
to how this might affect
"your fiance and friends?"
Well...
"And before you
answer, my child,
"I suggest that
you reflect carefully.
"For if you are
motivated by the desire
"to bring happiness to others,
"how can you
justify your decision
"if it means grief
to your loved ones?
"Please understand, my child,
"that as Mother Superior
of Convent San Tanco,
"I must voice these doubts.
"And if I seem cold
and unemotional to you,
"it is only because of my
inner warmth and radiance."
I take this to be some
form of rehearsal?
Yes, Reverend Mother.
And I think I
just lost the part.
Thank you. I'll clean
up this in a minute.
JACQUELINE: Reverend Mother wisely
decided to grant Sabrina an interview
and Sabrina made her pitch.
Oh, petition.
On film, Sabrina's performance
would have been a cinch
for the Academy Award for
best actress in a starring role.
But Reverend Mother
withheld her vote.
Miss Lewis, you
present a very good case.
And I respect your
feelings, for I'm sure
they come from deep within you.
Oh, yes.
But you have been
through a difficult period,
and I am going to suggest
that you reflect a little
while longer and so will I.
And then let us talk again.
A nun?
A nun.
What kind of a nun?
A nun, nun.
Well, look, she can't do this.
She's under contract to me.
Listen, this may not be
any of my business, but...
Who is this?
A friend, a dear friend.
Do you think it's
ethical to sue a girl
just because she
decides to become a nun?
I am not suing her for that.
I am suing her for breach
of contract and damages.
Look, just get her
to finish that picture,
then I don't care if she
wants to become a bishop.
And when I told her they were
suing her for $2.5 million dollars,
she raised her head, her eyes
flashed, and she said "So what?"
I wonder what
picture that was from?
I don't know,
but to start a suit,
they're gonna have to
serve her with papers.
And it's up to
us to protect her.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Oh, hello.
I collect stained glass
windows with my camera.
I wonder if it'd be all right
if I took a picture of yours?
Go right ahead. No, no, no.
I meant from the inside
with the light coming through?
Say, I understand
that movie star
is staying here. Sabrina Lewis.
That is correct. Uh-huh.
Is it true that she's
decided to become a nun?
I think he's a process server.
Why do you say that?
Just a hunch.
Gosh, I'd sure like
to get a peek at her.
Sabrina Lewis, that is.
Do you suppose it'd be possible?
Oh, no, senor. MAN: Oh.
Sister Ana, you're not
being at all hospitable.
Why don't you take
a look in the garden?
You're very kind.
That's what we're here for.
If I do become a nun,
my experience would make me the
logical person to run the drama class.
Oh, Miss Lewis, this is for you.
And this, my friend, is for you.
Hey!
What was all that about?
Well, we just caught
our first process server,
thanks to Sister
Bertrille's hunch.
Well, how did you know?
Simple matter of
deduction combined
with acute powers
of observation.
He was taking pictures
with his lens cap on.
Hi, Carlos.
Oh, hi, Spence.
How goes the war?
Another process server
shot down in the line of duty.
But I think that H.H.
has finally come
up with a solution.
And a very clever one.
And that makes you happy, eh?
Well, don't you see?
Once Sabrina sees those papers,
she'll realize how
serious the situation is,
and then she'll
come to her senses.
And what is this
so clever solution?
I'm not so sure if
I should tell you.
You and the sisters
are pretty clubby.
Well, don't tell me.
No, no, no. It's too
good. I've got to.
He's sending an actor from
the company up to the convent.
What's so clever about that?
Dressed as a priest?
What's bothering you?
Sister, all night I wrestled
with my conscience,
and I finally decided
I couldn't tell you.
But I decided that at least I
have to tell you I can't tell you.
So all I'm going to tell you is
be careful.
Of what?
I just told you
I can't tell you.
You don't want me to betray
Spencer's confidence, do you?
It's something her
fiance told you?
I should bite my tongue.
Don't ask me any more questions.
Just be suspicious
of any visitor,
especially if he
acts suspicious.
Another process server?
Please don't ask me
any more questions.
Boy, that's the fourth one
they've tried to sneak in on us.
Can you at least tell me if he's gonna
be tall or short or fat or skinny or...
What's the difference?
Priests come in all sizes.
Sister, please remember,
I didn't tell you anything.
I asked him. I said, "Is
he gonna be tall or short..."
(PHONE RINGING)
Wait till the Reverend
Mother returns.
She'll blow her toupe.
Top. Her top, too.
Sisters, when is
Reverend Mother returning?
Oh, who is it?
A Father Duffy.
He says he's an old friend
of hers from the mainland.
Well, just tell him that...
Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. Maybe that's him.
Him who?
The process server.
Hello. This is Sister Bertrille.
I'm sorry, but the
Reverend Mother
won't be back till
late this evening.
Is there someplace
she could call you?
No. I... I I'm just passing
through the island, you see.
I only have an hour or two.
I see.
He's just passing through the
island and only has an hour or two.
Gee, that is a shame, Father.
Well, I... I've heard so
much about San Tanco.
Perhaps I should
come out anyway.
(WHISPERING) He thinks
he should come out anyway.
Yes, definitely. By all
means, do come out.
And in the Reverend
Mother's absence,
we'll do our very best
to make you welcome.
Right. Goodbye.
I will now entertain suggestions
from the welcoming committee.
Welcome to Convent San Tanco,
Father Duffy. Won't you come in?
I'm Sister Bertrille, and
this is Sister Jacqueline.
How do you do, Father?
I'm pleased to meet you.
It's so kind of you
to ask me out here.
The pleasure,
believe me, is ours.
Yes. It's lovely.
I've heard so much
about San Tanco.
Oh, have you?
I've also heard
that you have a famous
actress staying here with you.
Yes, I bet you have.
Would you like to
meet her, Father?
Yes, as a matter
of fact I would.
You see, I've always
been quite a fan of hers.
Uh, Father, before you arrived,
Sister Bertrille and I
were having an argument
I'm sure you can settle.
It was a matter of canon law.
Why, I'm afraid I
can't help you there.
You see, I'm not
a parish priest.
I run a home for wayward girls.
I'm telling you,
you will regret it.
I appreciate your feelings,
but if I don't go up there
and serve that summons,
I'm an out-of-work actor.
The sisters are very clever.
You might not fool them.
That's hardly likely. I've
played priests in five pictures,
a bishop twice. Once
I even played a rabbi.
Reformed, of course.
It is better to be unemployed
than to do a thing like this.
Please, don't do it.
Sorry.
If they find out, you can
get prosecuted, you know.
How could they find out?
Well, one little slip.
What kind of slip?
The kind of slip I made when I
told them to expect a phony priest.
You know something?
It's better to be unemployed
than to do a thing like this.
That's funny.
I wonder why Sister Estella
thought Miss Lewis was up here.
Oh, but you must see
our view from here.
It's quite breathtaking.
It has quite an impact, yes.
My goodness.
On a clear day, you
can see St. Thomas.
Is that a fact?
Yes, if you just get
up a little bit higher.
Oh, yes.
I can see why
you're so proud of...
I'll tell someone
to find Miss Lewis.
The bell has a lovely sound.
But why are they
still ringing it?
They're not.
Eh?
Maybe the Father
would like a tidbitty?
It's tidbit.
A little tidbit is
not a tidbitty?
Would you care for a tortilla?
Eh?
Hot, huh? Good for the sinuses.
Water. Water.
There goes the
vinegar for my hair rinse.
Sister Ana, do you know
where Miss Lewis is?
Maybe that's enough.
I can't chicken out
now. Sister Ana?
She's in there.
Father Duffy, come right
this way and I'll introduce you.
Miss Lewis? There's someone
out here who's dying to meet you.
And I'm dying to meet him.
Thank you. Oh, Miss Lewis, I...
Have you all gone mad?
Oh, Reverend Mother,
how glad I am to see you.
Father Duffy!
Why didn't you
let me chicken out?
It is difficult to believe
there could be some
reasonable explanation for this.
Let us hope there is.
Reverend Mother,
there is an explanation.
But I think you'd
save a lot of time
if you just excommunicated us.
Father Duffy, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what to say.
You see, we thought you
were a process server...
My dear child, cherry
pie is my favorite dessert.
But usually I prefer to
have it served on a plate.
Perhaps you're right,
Reverend Mother.
I don't deny that I... I
may have a tendency
to over-dramatize things a bit.
But I, I just can't get over
the feeling that I was...
I was called here.
You mean your vision?
Oh, yes, yes. It was so real.
So... so moving.
Yes.
Well, Miss Lewis,
I find that
I cannot alter my conclusion
that at this time,
you would not be a suitable
candidate for the novitiate.
Miss Lewis, would you
come here a moment, please?
Is that the vision that you saw?
(GASPING)
Sister Bertrille?
I hope that will help
you resolve your conflict.
Well, how does she do it?
Well, as I understand it, it has
something to do
with aerodynamics.
It's amazing.
(PHONE RINGING)
Excuse me just a moment.
Hello?
Oh, yes. Miss Lewis,
it is your fiance.
Shall I tell him that
you are unavailable?
Oh, no. No, no. I'll take
it, Reverend Mother.
Thank you. Thank
you. Hello, Spence?
Oh, darling. How are you?
Spence, listen, I've got
something to talk to you about.
I have the greatest
idea for a picture.
Peter Pan in a nun's habit.
Is that wild?
Bertrille came to Convent San Tanco,
Sister Sixto used to go to the
fish market and return with fish.
Now that Sister Bertrille has
been assigned to accompany her,
there's no telling
what they'll bring back.
Look, there's Carlos.
Hey, maybe after
we're finished shopping,
he'll give us a lift back
to the convent in his car.
I wouldn't mind being lifted.
It's 3 miles as the crow fleas.
No, that's "flies."
Fleas are those little tiny
insects that you find on animals.
I thought those were flies.
Well, they are flies...
Yes?
It's very complicated.
Sister Sixto, look at that.
I don't think the Reverend
Mother would want I should look.
You know, she
looks familiar to me.
I thought she was
Charlie Chaplin
until she took off
her moustache.
Sabrina!
It's H.H. Who?
Harold Harmon, my producer.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Oh, yes.
HAROLD: Sabrina,
wait! I have to talk to you!
I must talk to you, darling!
Sabrina!
That's who it is.
It's Sabrina Lewis.
Sabrina Lewis. The movie star?
Yes. No!
Oh, I wish I could
get a closer look.
You could if you
were a good swimmer.
Sister Sixto, why don't
you go buy the fish?
I'll meet you back here
in about 10 minutes.
Where are you going?
To get a closer look.
What was that?
What's what?
Well, don't you see?
Si, I see. I see
you, I see the sea.
So, what else is there to see?
I think I'm flipping.
(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)
I mean, we cannot leave Mr. Harmon
standing on the dock forever.
Forget about Mr. Harmon.
Okay. Now what about Spencer?
Forget about Spencer.
But he's your fiance.
At least give him a
chance to explain himself.
Do you think that that
girl meant anything to him?
Believe me, she was nothing.
Well, did you date her, too?
He loves you. He's very upset.
Only because I
walked off the picture
and he's afraid he might
lose the best part he ever had.
Oh, no. That's not
what he told me.
He would turn in his
mother for a good close-up.
That is an unmitigated lie.
You rat! I might have known it.
CARLOS: Sabrina, be reasonable.
Sabrina.
Take the wheel.
Swing her around.
What for?
Well, to rescue her,
what do you think?
Are you kidding?
She was a stand-in
for Esther Williams.
Do you need any
help, Miss Lewis?
JACQUELINE: Just how Sister
Bertrille maneuvered things
so that Sabrina Lewis was taken
to Convent San
Tanco to recuperate
was never very clear.
But the presence of
such a celebrated person
didn't do much for
our work schedule.
And I'm afraid I was
as guilty as the others.
Sister Sixto,
that's not very nice.
How'd she look?
Beautiful.
Just like when she was dying
in the Seven Faces Of Sin.
Oh, Sister, how
can I ever thank you?
Oh. How can I thank
you, Miss Lewis?
I mean... I mean, it was
really a privilege to save you.
Reverend Mother, I, uh,
I've been hesitant
about telling you this,
but I... I guess it
must have been
when I was going down
for the third time, I...
I had a vision.
A vision? Yes.
A beautiful angel, all in white,
descending from the heavens,
with her arms
stretching out to me.
Miss Lewis, when one is in
such an extreme situation,
one is likely to imagine things.
Oh, well, I'm sure
that's true. It's just...
The interesting thing is, she
looked exactly like Sister Bertrille.
Well, isn't that funny?
Yes.
Somewhere out there there's
an angel who looks just like me.
I mean... I mean,
that's the first time
anyone's accused me
of being an angel, right?
I would say that's a
fair statement, yes.
Do you know something?
You remind me of
my reverend mother.
Your...
Miss Lewis,
you were a nun?
But, of course.
Didn't you see me in
The Cross and the Fire?
Oh. Yes, yes. Yes, I did.
You were very
impressive, Miss Lewis.
Well, Miss Lewis, I... I will
leave you two alone for now.
Oh, well, thank you,
Reverend Mother.
Sister, I... I seem
to be a bit confused.
Where did you come from exactly?
I mean, I don't remember
seeing your boat.
Well, I wasn't in a boat.
You were swimming
that far out to sea?
Not exactly. Sort of.
Anyway, it was nice I
was in the neighborhood.
Well...
These flowers that your fiance
sent you are just gorgeous.
If I know him, he probably
charged them to the studio.
He certainly has a great voice.
He called twice this morning.
Aren't you even
gonna talk to him?
I doubt it.
No, my dear.
I'm sorry to have to
shock you this way.
But you have no idea
what my life is like.
I'm so alone.
With all these friends?
Friends? Friends?
Parasites, you mean.
People who are only interested
in what they have to gain.
No, I'd rather...
I'd rather have a
single wildflower
tendered by the hand
of a simple peasant
than all of this gaudy display.
And then she said, "I would
rather have a single wildflower
"tendered by the hand
of a simple peasant
"than all of this
gaudy display."
Oh, it's just like watching
one of her movies.
Sister Bertrille, that was
from one of her movies.
What?
The one about the queen
who gives up her throne.
JACQUELINE: In
the week that followed,
Sabrina Lewis
really threw herself
into the spirit of convent life,
as she saw it.
In Panavision and Vistascope.
When, to be hospitable, Reverend
Mother invited her to say grace,
Sabrina eagerly accepted.
Bless us, O Lord
and these thy gifts, which
we are about to receive
from thy bounty
through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
The way Sabrina prayed,
we really expected an answer.
One day, Sabrina asked
to see Sister Estella.
The reason we were
all so surprised is that
Sister Estella spoke no English.
Later we got the explanation.
Sabrina had figured out that
Sister Estella was just her size.
What followed next shouldn't
have been a surprise, but it was.
Well, from the looks of this
breakfast tray, Miss Lewis,
I'd say you were
fully recovered.
And that means you'll
probably be leaving us soon
and going back to work, huh?
Which will probably be a
great relief to your boyfriend.
Did I mention that the last time he
called and you wouldn't talk to him,
he told me your producer
was going to sue you?
Sister Bertrille, I would like
you to be the first to know.
I have decided to become a nun.
Does that surprise you?
No.
But have you thought about
this carefully, Miss Lewis?
I mean, it's not something
you just decide just like that.
My dear, I've thought
of nothing else.
I've just never known such...
such inner peace and tranquility.
Now I am sure that
this is what I must do.
I'm afraid the decision
isn't entirely up to you.
You can petition, but
you have to be accepted.
And you might not be.
With my credits?
I'm sorry, Miss
Lewis, but I don't think
that's what the Reverend
Mother considers
when she interviews
an applicant.
Oh, there's an interview?
Well, I'm very
good at interviews.
As a matter of fact, I was
given a Golden Apple Award
by the press for being
the most cooperative.
Now, tell me, what sort
of questions will she ask?
Oh, whether you're
prepared to give up
all worldly goods and
earthly considerations.
To give up all thoughts of self.
Things like that.
To me, worldly goods
are only a hollow mockery
compared with the joy
of devotion to others.
How's that?
Not bad.
If you mean it.
My dear, if I'm accepted, I
would gladly give up everything.
My cars, my jewels,
my house, everything,
and of course, my mortgage.
Now tell me, what other questions
will the Reverend Mother ask?
Oh, lots of things.
Like for instance,
she might ask,
"Miss Lewis,
"have you given any thought
to how this might affect
"your fiance and friends?"
Well...
"And before you
answer, my child,
"I suggest that
you reflect carefully.
"For if you are
motivated by the desire
"to bring happiness to others,
"how can you
justify your decision
"if it means grief
to your loved ones?
"Please understand, my child,
"that as Mother Superior
of Convent San Tanco,
"I must voice these doubts.
"And if I seem cold
and unemotional to you,
"it is only because of my
inner warmth and radiance."
I take this to be some
form of rehearsal?
Yes, Reverend Mother.
And I think I
just lost the part.
Thank you. I'll clean
up this in a minute.
JACQUELINE: Reverend Mother wisely
decided to grant Sabrina an interview
and Sabrina made her pitch.
Oh, petition.
On film, Sabrina's performance
would have been a cinch
for the Academy Award for
best actress in a starring role.
But Reverend Mother
withheld her vote.
Miss Lewis, you
present a very good case.
And I respect your
feelings, for I'm sure
they come from deep within you.
Oh, yes.
But you have been
through a difficult period,
and I am going to suggest
that you reflect a little
while longer and so will I.
And then let us talk again.
A nun?
A nun.
What kind of a nun?
A nun, nun.
Well, look, she can't do this.
She's under contract to me.
Listen, this may not be
any of my business, but...
Who is this?
A friend, a dear friend.
Do you think it's
ethical to sue a girl
just because she
decides to become a nun?
I am not suing her for that.
I am suing her for breach
of contract and damages.
Look, just get her
to finish that picture,
then I don't care if she
wants to become a bishop.
And when I told her they were
suing her for $2.5 million dollars,
she raised her head, her eyes
flashed, and she said "So what?"
I wonder what
picture that was from?
I don't know,
but to start a suit,
they're gonna have to
serve her with papers.
And it's up to
us to protect her.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Oh, hello.
I collect stained glass
windows with my camera.
I wonder if it'd be all right
if I took a picture of yours?
Go right ahead. No, no, no.
I meant from the inside
with the light coming through?
Say, I understand
that movie star
is staying here. Sabrina Lewis.
That is correct. Uh-huh.
Is it true that she's
decided to become a nun?
I think he's a process server.
Why do you say that?
Just a hunch.
Gosh, I'd sure like
to get a peek at her.
Sabrina Lewis, that is.
Do you suppose it'd be possible?
Oh, no, senor. MAN: Oh.
Sister Ana, you're not
being at all hospitable.
Why don't you take
a look in the garden?
You're very kind.
That's what we're here for.
If I do become a nun,
my experience would make me the
logical person to run the drama class.
Oh, Miss Lewis, this is for you.
And this, my friend, is for you.
Hey!
What was all that about?
Well, we just caught
our first process server,
thanks to Sister
Bertrille's hunch.
Well, how did you know?
Simple matter of
deduction combined
with acute powers
of observation.
He was taking pictures
with his lens cap on.
Hi, Carlos.
Oh, hi, Spence.
How goes the war?
Another process server
shot down in the line of duty.
But I think that H.H.
has finally come
up with a solution.
And a very clever one.
And that makes you happy, eh?
Well, don't you see?
Once Sabrina sees those papers,
she'll realize how
serious the situation is,
and then she'll
come to her senses.
And what is this
so clever solution?
I'm not so sure if
I should tell you.
You and the sisters
are pretty clubby.
Well, don't tell me.
No, no, no. It's too
good. I've got to.
He's sending an actor from
the company up to the convent.
What's so clever about that?
Dressed as a priest?
What's bothering you?
Sister, all night I wrestled
with my conscience,
and I finally decided
I couldn't tell you.
But I decided that at least I
have to tell you I can't tell you.
So all I'm going to tell you is
be careful.
Of what?
I just told you
I can't tell you.
You don't want me to betray
Spencer's confidence, do you?
It's something her
fiance told you?
I should bite my tongue.
Don't ask me any more questions.
Just be suspicious
of any visitor,
especially if he
acts suspicious.
Another process server?
Please don't ask me
any more questions.
Boy, that's the fourth one
they've tried to sneak in on us.
Can you at least tell me if he's gonna
be tall or short or fat or skinny or...
What's the difference?
Priests come in all sizes.
Sister, please remember,
I didn't tell you anything.
I asked him. I said, "Is
he gonna be tall or short..."
(PHONE RINGING)
Wait till the Reverend
Mother returns.
She'll blow her toupe.
Top. Her top, too.
Sisters, when is
Reverend Mother returning?
Oh, who is it?
A Father Duffy.
He says he's an old friend
of hers from the mainland.
Well, just tell him that...
Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. Maybe that's him.
Him who?
The process server.
Hello. This is Sister Bertrille.
I'm sorry, but the
Reverend Mother
won't be back till
late this evening.
Is there someplace
she could call you?
No. I... I I'm just passing
through the island, you see.
I only have an hour or two.
I see.
He's just passing through the
island and only has an hour or two.
Gee, that is a shame, Father.
Well, I... I've heard so
much about San Tanco.
Perhaps I should
come out anyway.
(WHISPERING) He thinks
he should come out anyway.
Yes, definitely. By all
means, do come out.
And in the Reverend
Mother's absence,
we'll do our very best
to make you welcome.
Right. Goodbye.
I will now entertain suggestions
from the welcoming committee.
Welcome to Convent San Tanco,
Father Duffy. Won't you come in?
I'm Sister Bertrille, and
this is Sister Jacqueline.
How do you do, Father?
I'm pleased to meet you.
It's so kind of you
to ask me out here.
The pleasure,
believe me, is ours.
Yes. It's lovely.
I've heard so much
about San Tanco.
Oh, have you?
I've also heard
that you have a famous
actress staying here with you.
Yes, I bet you have.
Would you like to
meet her, Father?
Yes, as a matter
of fact I would.
You see, I've always
been quite a fan of hers.
Uh, Father, before you arrived,
Sister Bertrille and I
were having an argument
I'm sure you can settle.
It was a matter of canon law.
Why, I'm afraid I
can't help you there.
You see, I'm not
a parish priest.
I run a home for wayward girls.
I'm telling you,
you will regret it.
I appreciate your feelings,
but if I don't go up there
and serve that summons,
I'm an out-of-work actor.
The sisters are very clever.
You might not fool them.
That's hardly likely. I've
played priests in five pictures,
a bishop twice. Once
I even played a rabbi.
Reformed, of course.
It is better to be unemployed
than to do a thing like this.
Please, don't do it.
Sorry.
If they find out, you can
get prosecuted, you know.
How could they find out?
Well, one little slip.
What kind of slip?
The kind of slip I made when I
told them to expect a phony priest.
You know something?
It's better to be unemployed
than to do a thing like this.
That's funny.
I wonder why Sister Estella
thought Miss Lewis was up here.
Oh, but you must see
our view from here.
It's quite breathtaking.
It has quite an impact, yes.
My goodness.
On a clear day, you
can see St. Thomas.
Is that a fact?
Yes, if you just get
up a little bit higher.
Oh, yes.
I can see why
you're so proud of...
I'll tell someone
to find Miss Lewis.
The bell has a lovely sound.
But why are they
still ringing it?
They're not.
Eh?
Maybe the Father
would like a tidbitty?
It's tidbit.
A little tidbit is
not a tidbitty?
Would you care for a tortilla?
Eh?
Hot, huh? Good for the sinuses.
Water. Water.
There goes the
vinegar for my hair rinse.
Sister Ana, do you know
where Miss Lewis is?
Maybe that's enough.
I can't chicken out
now. Sister Ana?
She's in there.
Father Duffy, come right
this way and I'll introduce you.
Miss Lewis? There's someone
out here who's dying to meet you.
And I'm dying to meet him.
Thank you. Oh, Miss Lewis, I...
Have you all gone mad?
Oh, Reverend Mother,
how glad I am to see you.
Father Duffy!
Why didn't you
let me chicken out?
It is difficult to believe
there could be some
reasonable explanation for this.
Let us hope there is.
Reverend Mother,
there is an explanation.
But I think you'd
save a lot of time
if you just excommunicated us.
Father Duffy, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what to say.
You see, we thought you
were a process server...
My dear child, cherry
pie is my favorite dessert.
But usually I prefer to
have it served on a plate.
Perhaps you're right,
Reverend Mother.
I don't deny that I... I
may have a tendency
to over-dramatize things a bit.
But I, I just can't get over
the feeling that I was...
I was called here.
You mean your vision?
Oh, yes, yes. It was so real.
So... so moving.
Yes.
Well, Miss Lewis,
I find that
I cannot alter my conclusion
that at this time,
you would not be a suitable
candidate for the novitiate.
Miss Lewis, would you
come here a moment, please?
Is that the vision that you saw?
(GASPING)
Sister Bertrille?
I hope that will help
you resolve your conflict.
Well, how does she do it?
Well, as I understand it, it has
something to do
with aerodynamics.
It's amazing.
(PHONE RINGING)
Excuse me just a moment.
Hello?
Oh, yes. Miss Lewis,
it is your fiance.
Shall I tell him that
you are unavailable?
Oh, no. No, no. I'll take
it, Reverend Mother.
Thank you. Thank
you. Hello, Spence?
Oh, darling. How are you?
Spence, listen, I've got
something to talk to you about.
I have the greatest
idea for a picture.
Peter Pan in a nun's habit.
Is that wild?