The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 1, Episode 9 - Days of Nuns and Roses - full transcript

Unable to raise enough money through donations, Sister Bertrille thinks they should go into business. With the donation of the raw materials, Sister Bertrille thinks they should produce what she calls the Nectar of San Tanco: sea grape juice. Out of faith, Carlos and one of his business associates, Luis Fiero, agree to exclusive distribution rights of the product without even knowing what it is. When Carlos finds out it's sea grape juice, he pulls out. The business is in trouble when the creditors come for payment and the sisters haven't sold a bottle's worth. Luis Fiero changes his mind and decides to distribute after sampling the product and seeing Sister Bertrille fly, thinking that the strength of the nectar was the reason for his vision. But because the bottles of juice have been sitting around, they have also been fermenting and turning into wine. So when Carlos delivers the bottles to Luis and needs to go through customs, he is arrested for trying to smuggle sea grape wine. The customs inspector raids the convent. However in the meantime, the juice and the wine has made yet another transformation, this time into vinegar. Fiero buys all the bottles of vinegar anyway, the sisters stop production and after paying the creditors, end up twenty-five cents in the red, the twenty-five cents paid by Carlos. He knew this venture would cost him something.

[barking]

(Jacqueline) IT IS ONE OF
THE DUTIES OF THE SISTERS

OF THE CONVENT SAN
TANCO TO REMIND PEOPLE

THAT IT IS MORE BLESSED
TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE.

IT SEEMS THAT VERY FEW COULD
AFFORD TO BE BLESSED ANYMORE.

STILL, DID THAT DISCOURAGE
SISTER BERTRILLE?

I'M SORRY TO SAY, IT DID.

NO SOUP? THAT'S SOAP, SISTER.

AND NO CLOTHES
FOR THE KIDS, EITHER.

WELL, WE GOT A
DONATION OF SEA GRAPES.

OH, WITH THIS STIRRING RESPONSE,



NO WONDER WE'RE A
NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION.

I'VE HAD SO MANY DOORS
CLOSED IN MY FACE,

I'M LUCKY I DON'T HAVE
SPLINTERS IN MY NOSE.

AT ONE HOUSE ALL I DID WAS
STOP AND ASK FOR DIRECTIONS,

AND THE LADY SAID
THEY ALREADY GAVE.

LEMONADE, SISTERS?

OH, YES. THAT WOULD BE
WONDERFUL. THANK YOU.

LEMONADE WOULD
SURE PUNCH THE SPOT.

THAT WILL BE 5 CENTS, PLEASE.

NOW FERNANDO, YOUR
ARITHMETIC. HOW MUCH IS 3 TIMES 2?

6 CENTS. BUT FOR THE
CLERGY I GIVE A DISCOUNT.

OH, WELL, YOU MUSTN'T DO THAT.

SOON I'LL MAKE ENOUGH
MONEY TO BUY A BASEBALL GLOVE.

AND YOU'LL ENJOY IT
ALL THE MORE, FERNANDO,



BECAUSE YOU EARNED IT YOURSELF.

SISTERS, THAT'S WHAT WE NEED.

HMM? WHAT FOR DO WE
NEED A BASEBALL GLOVE?

NO. WE NEED TO EARN OUR OWN WAY.

WE SHOULD BE GOING AROUND WITH
OUR HEADS UP INSTEAD OF OUR HANDS OUT.

I DON'T FOLLOW
YOU. WHY, IT'S SIMPLE.

THE CONVENT IS GOING
INTO BUSINESS, THAT'S ALL.

PLANTS, PLASTICS, PLUMBERS.

I DON'T SUPPOSE WE
COULD BE PLUMBERS?

NO, OUR CORNETS WOULD
NEVER FIT UNDER THE SINK.

SOMEHOW, I DON'T THINK
THE REVEREND MOTHER

WOULD TAKE TOO KINDLY
TO OUR WEARING COVERALLS.

I DON'T THINK REVEREND
MOTHER IS GOING TO LIKE

THIS WHOLE BUSINESS OF
OUR GOING INTO BUSINESS.

SISTER ANA, HASN'T
THE REVEREND MOTHER

ALWAYS PUT THE GOOD OF THE
ORDER ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE?

AND BESIDES, BY THE TIME SHE
GETS BACK FROM RIO PIEDRAS,

WE'LL ALREADY BE IN PRODUCTION.

OH, IT'D BE NICE TO BUY NEW
CLOTHES FOR THE CHILDREN.

NEW IS BETTER THAN
HAND-ME-OUTS. DOWNS, SISTER.

UPS, DOWNS, OUTS, THEY'RE ALL THE
SAME AND WE'RE THROUGH WITH THEM.

FROM NOW ON, WE'RE
SELF-SUSTAINING. WE'RE IN BUSINESS.

BUT WHAT BUSINESS?

PROPELLERS, PROTECTIVE
COATINGS, PSYCHIATRISTS...

I DON'T KNOW.

ALL THE BEST ONES
SEEM TO BE TAKEN.

MAYBE WE'RE APPROACHING
THIS IN THE WRONG WAY.

WE SHOULD BE LOOKING FOR A
BUSINESS THAT NO ONE ELSE IS IN,

THEREFORE WE HAVE A READY-MADE
DEMAND FOR OUR PRODUCT.

I'VE GOT IT. WHAT IS IT?

IT'S BEEN STARING US IN
THE FACE ALL ALONG. WHAT?

TELL US. THE NECTAR
OF SAN TANCO.

THE NECTAR OF SAN
TANCO? SEA GRAPE JUICE.

I'VE NEVER SEEN
IT IN THE MARKET.

I'VE NEVER SEEN IT ADVERTISED.

I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD FROM IT.
YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR FROM IT NOW.

MAYBE YOU HAVE SOMETHING THERE.

I WOULDN'T DO THAT IF I
WERE YOU, SISTER JACQUELINE.

YOU'RE EATING INTO PROFITS.

IT'S VERY NICE TO SEE YOU, LUIS.

YOU DON'T COME IN FROM
ARECIBO THAT OFTEN.

WITH ALL THE NEW HOTELS
AND RESTAURANTS OPENING UP,

UH, I AM MUCH OCCUPIED
SUPPLYING THEM WITH FOOD.

YOU KNOW, ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M GOING
TO TAKE MY BOAT TO YOUR PART OF THE ISLAND

AND HAVE A LOOK AT
THE WHOLE OPERATION.

CARLOS. WAIT TILL YOU HEAR...

SISTER BERTRILLE,
CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?

WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO KNOCK?

WELL, IF I'D KNOCKED,
YOU'D HAVE SAID, "WHO IS IT?"

AND I'D HAVE SAID,
"SISTER BERTRILLE,"

AND YOU'D HAVE SAID, "COME
IN," AND SINCE YOU'RE SO BUSY,

YOU SHOULD BE PLEASED
I'M SAVING YOU TIME.

HOW CAN YOU ARGUE
WITH THAT KIND OF LOGIC?

THIS IS SISTER
BERTRILLE, LUIS FIERRO.

I AM MOST HONORED,
SISTER. HOW DO YOU DO?

SISTER, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU TODAY
EVEN THOUGH THE ANSWER IS ALREADY NO.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR
ME, IT'S WHAT I CAN DO FOR YOU.

THAT'S A SWITCH.

CARLOS, SINCE YOU'VE
BEEN SO GOOD TO US,

SUCH A KIND AND GENEROUS
FRIEND TO SAN TANCO...

HOW MUCH IS IT GOING
TO COST ME THIS TIME?

NOT ONE THIN DIME.

WE'VE DECIDED TO GIVE YOU ABSOLUTELY
FREE, EXCLUSIVE DISTRIBUTION RIGHTS.

DISTRIBUTION RIGHTS, FOR WHAT?

I CAN'T TELL YOU.

IT'S STILL IN THE
PLANNING STAGES

AND WE WOULDN'T
WANT WORD TO LEAK OUT.

BUT WE WOULDN'T THINK OF
COMING TO ANYONE ELSE BUT YOU.

SISTER, WHAT DO I WANT WITH
EXCLUSIVE DISTRIBUTION RIGHTS

TO SOMETHING I
KNOW NOTHING ABOUT?

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU THIS MUCH, THE CONVENT
IS COMING OUT WITH A SENSATIONAL PRODUCT.

YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE.

RELIGION.

BESIDES THAT. SOMETHING
THAT CAN BE PACKAGED,

SOMETHING THE WORLD
HAS BEEN WAITING FOR.

LOOK. SISTER... CARLOS, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO SHOW ME YOUR APPRECIATION NOW.

WE'LL WORK OUT
THE DETAILS LATER.

I DON'T WANT TO
WORK OUT ANY DETAILS.

I DON'T WANT ANYTHING
TO DO WITH THIS.

YOU MEAN YOU WANT ME
TO GO SOMEPLACE ELSE?

FRANKLY, YES.

OK, BUT REMEMBER, CARLOS,
OPPORTUNITY ONLY KNOCKS ONCE.

BUT AT LEAST IT KNOCKS.

OK. DON'T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN
YOU FIND OUT YOU BLEW A GOLD MINE.

BYE.

JUST A MINUTE, SISTER.

IF CARLOS IS NOT
INTERESTED, PERHAPS I AM.

(Carlos) OH, LUIS, BE CAREFUL
WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.

BUT, SURELY, IF YOU CAN'T TRUST
A NUN, WHOM CAN YOU TRUST?

WELL, YOU DON'T KNOW
THIS CONVENT AS I DO.

THESE ARE NOT ORDINARY NUNS.

STILL, THERE'S SOMETHING VERY
IMAGINATIVE ABOUT THIS PROPOSITION.

OTHER ORDERS HAVE
SUCCESSFULLY GONE INTO BUSINESS.

AND YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO
ACCEPT EXCLUSIVE DISTRIBUTION RIGHTS

TO WHATEVER IT IS,

SIGHT UNSEEN?

I WOULD.

ALL RIGHT, PROVIDED THAT
IT'S A MARKETABLE PRODUCT,

WE'LL GO 50-50.

DONE.

OH, YOU WON'T BE
SORRY. I'M SURE WE WON'T.

BUT AT LEAST IF WE ARE,

THIS TIME I'LL ONLY
HAVE TO BE HALF SORRY.

[crickets chirping]

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND, SISTER.

YOU WISH TO BUY MY SEA GRAPES?

YOUR WHOLE CROP.

BUT,

NOBODY EVER WANTED TO
BUY THE WHOLE CROP BEFORE.

OH, IT MAKES ME SO
HAPPY TO HEAR THAT.

YOU'LL DELIVER OF
COURSE? OF COURSE.

AS SOON AS THEY ARE PAID FOR.

OH, WELL, YOU'LL GET YOUR
MONEY ON THE 10TH OF THE MONTH.

BUT, UH, SISTER, THAT
IS NOT CUSTOMARY.

OH, IT'S OBVIOUS YOU'VE NEVER
DEALT WITH BIG BUSINESS BEFORE.

WELL, I AM JUST A SMALL FARMER.

YES. WELL, IN BIG BUSINESS, EVERYTHING
IS PAID ON THE 10TH OF THE MONTH.

I DON'T KNOW, SISTER.

I... I'LL LET YOU IN
ON A LITTLE SECRET.

YOU KNOW SENOR CARLOS RAMIREZ?

THE CASINO OWNER? YES.

WELL, YOU SEE, HE HAS AN
INTEREST IN OUR BUSINESS.

CARLOS RAMIREZ? NOW, DO YOU
DOUBT THAT YOU'LL GET YOUR MONEY?

ME, DOUBT THE WORD OF A SISTER?

NOW DON'T FORGET,
THE 10TH OF THE MONTH.

I WILL NOT FORGET, SISTER.

(Jacqueline) WHAT WE DIDN'T KNOW
ABOUT MAKING SEA GRAPE JUICE...

[grape juice bubbling]

PARDON ME, THE
NECTAR OF SAN TANCO,

WOULD FILL A BOOK.

IT CERTAINLY FILLED
OUR BASEMENT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE
ACTUALLY IN BUSINESS.

WE'RE IN BUSINESS UNTIL
THE 10TH OF THE MONTH.

OH, WE'LL HAVE THE MONEY.

FOR THE SEA GRAPES?
THE SUGAR? THE BOTTLES?

AND THE EQUIPMENT RENTAL.

AND WE'LL HAVE ENOUGH MONEY LEFT
OVER FOR OUR WORK WITH THE KIDS.

[footsteps approaching]

THESE NINOS WOULD LIKE
TO LEND A HELPING FOOT.

[Bertrille exclaiming]

COME ON IN.

COME ON IN. THE JUICE IS FINE.

[children chattering]

[stomping]

(Rev. Mother) WHAT
IS GOING ON IN HERE?

[Bertrille exclaiming]

REVEREND MOTHER, WELCOME HOME.

HAVE WE GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU.

SISTER BERTRILLE, I WISH
TO SEE YOU IN MY OFFICE.

IMMEDIATELY.

(Bertrille) SO YOU SEE, REVEREND
MOTHER, WITH A BUSINESS OF OUR OWN,

WE CAN SHIFT FOR OURSELVES
AND BE BEHOLDEN TO NO ONE.

YOU PRESENT A STRONG
CASE, SISTER BERTRILLE.

BUT,

I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED
THAT YOU CONSULT WITH ME FIRST.

BUT, REVEREND MOTHER,
THERE WASN'T TIME.

IN THE WORLD OF BIG BUSINESS, YOU
HAVE TO CHARGE WHEN THE MOMENT IS RIPE.

I SEE, AND THE MOMENT WAS RIPE?

THE MOMENT, AND THE GRAPES.

OH, DEAR. AND TO THINK
THAT WHEN I WAS AWAY,

ALL I HAD TO WORRY
ABOUT WAS YOUR FLYING.

I'VE GOT BOTH FEET ON THE GROUND
THIS TIME, REVEREND MOTHER.

A LITTLE PURPLE,
BUT ON THE GROUND.

IF ONLY MY FAITH COULD
MATCH YOUR ENTHUSIASM.

OH, REVEREND MOTHER, BELIEVE
ME. WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING.

WELL, YOU SAW OUR ASSEMBLY LINE.

DETROIT COULDN'T HAVE
SET IT UP ANY BETTER.

I ADMIT, THINGS DID SEEM TO
BE RUNNING RATHER SMOOTHLY.

OH, SMOOTHLY ISN'T
THE WORD FOR IT.

(Ana) SISTER BERTRILLE,
COME QUICKLY.

I TOLD YOU SMOOTHLY WASN'T
THE WORD FOR IT. EXCUSE ME.

WHERE ARE MORE BUCKETS?

THE OTHERS ARE LOOKING. I
TOOK THE MOP OUT OF THIS ONE.

[grape juice bubbling]

WHAT'S HAPPENED?

OH, THE SPIGOT BROKE, AND IT'S
NIAGARA FALLS IN SEA GRAPE JUICE.

OH, THE POT IS BROKEN, TOO.

STIR IT OR SOMETHING.

[exclaiming] OH, SISTER
BERTRILLE, ARE YOU CERTAIN THAT

DETROIT COULDN'T SET
THIS UP SOMEWHAT BETTER?

NOW REVEREND MOTHER, YOU
MUSTN'T LET A LITTLE SETBACK

KEEP YOU FROM SEEING THE
VALUE OF THE WHOLE ENTERPRISE.

I STILL SAY WE'VE GOT
A GOOD THING GOING.

WELL, THEN I ADVISE YOU TO...
TO START FILLING THOSE BOTTLES

OR YOUR GOOD THING IS GOING
TO GO RIGHT OUT THE DOOR.

[all chattering]

WEEKS OF LABOR AND
LOVE WENT INTO THIS

AND AT LONG LAST HERE IT IS.

THE FIRST BATCH OF
NECTAR OF SAN TANCO.

TASTE THAT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK IT'S SEA GRAPE JUICE.

WELL, THAT'S JUST
ITS MAIDEN NAME.

OH, SISTER, IF I WOULD HAVE
KNOWN THAT THE BUSINESS

YOU WERE GOING INTO WAS
THE MAKING OF SEA GRAPE JUICE,

I WOULD HAVE LAUGHED
YOU OUT OF MY OFFICE.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH
SEA GRAPE JUICE?

WHO'S GOING TO
BUY IT? EVERYBODY.

HOW DO YOU KNOW? IT'S NEVER
BEEN ON THE MARKET BEFORE.

PROBABLY BECAUSE
NOBODY WILL BUY IT.

YES, BUT ONCE YOU AND
SENOR FIERRO GET BEHIND IT...

SENOR FIERRO IS A BIG SUPPLIER.

HE WOULDN'T STOOP TO FOOL AROUND

WITH SOMETHING
LIKE SEA GRAPE JUICE.

OH, SISTER, I DON'T WANT TO
GET INVOLVED IN THIS ANYMORE.

WE HAD A VERBAL CONTRACT.

WE SAID IF THE PRODUCT
WAS MARKETABLE.

SISTER, I'M SORRY,
BUT I HAVE THE FEELING

THAT YOU AND THE OTHERS
HAVE BEEN WASTING YOUR TIME.

[sighing] PLEASE,
DON'T WASTE MINE.

IS THAT YOUR FINAL WORD?

IT IS.

NATURALLY, THIS MEANS YOU NO LONGER
HAVE EXCLUSIVE DISTRIBUTION RIGHTS.

SISTER BERTRILLE, YOU
HAVE MADE A VALIANT EFFORT,

BUT THE TIME HAS
COME TO FACE REALITY.

WE WERE JUST NOT MEANT
TO BE BUSINESSWOMEN.

[sea grape juice bubbling]

THIS WAS OUR CHANCE
TO BE INDEPENDENT,

TO DO SOMETHING FOR OURSELVES
INSTEAD OF ALWAYS RELYING ON CHARITY.

SISTER BERTRILLE,

THE FIRST EPISTLE OF ST.
PAUL TO THE CORINTHIANS.

"AND NOW ABIDETH FAITH,
HOPE, AND CHARITY, THESE THREE:

AND THE GREATEST OF THESE IS..."

"CHARITY."

[footsteps approaching]

SISTER BERTRILLE, THERE ARE
SEVERAL PEOPLE HERE TO SEE YOU.

ABOUT THE NECTAR. BUT...

CUSTOMERS. WE GAVE UP TOO
SOON. OH, COME ON, COME ON.

SISTERS, SISTERS, BE CAREFUL.

[bubbling]

OH, REVEREND MOTHER, I DON'T
EVEN HAVE A PAPER AND PENCIL.

WELL, YOU TAKE THE ORDERS
AND I'LL REMEMBER ALL THE NAMES.

GOOD MORNING, SISTER.
REVEREND MOTHER.

(Rev. Mother) GOOD MORNING.

WE HAVE COME FOR OUR MONEY.

OH, THAT.

(farmer) IT IS THE
10TH OF THE MONTH.

SO SOON?

[birds chirping]

SISTER BERTRILLE, WHO
ARE THESE GENTLEMEN?

I THINK YOU CALL THEM CREDITORS.

THIS IS SENOR SEA GRAPES,

SENOR SUGAR, SENOR BOTTLES,

SENOR EQUIPMENT RENTAL, SENOR...

I DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS.

I'M FROM THE LICENSE
BUREAU, SISTER.

I FEEL IT'S MY DUTY TO TELL YOU,

YOU HAVE TO HAVE A
LICENSE TO RUN A BUSINESS.

WE SET OUT TO MAKE
THE NECTAR OF SAN TANCO,

ONLY EVERYBODY
CALLS IT SEA GRAPE JUICE.

ALL THESE PEOPLE
WANT THEIR MONEYS,

BUT WE HAVEN'T GOT
IT TO GIVE IT TO THEM,

BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T
SOLD A SINGLE BOTTLE.

AND YOU CALL THAT
RUNNING A BUSINESS?

(Jacqueline) SISTER BERTRILLE
MANAGED TO STAVE OFF

BANKRUPTCY FOR A WHILE,

BY GIVING EACH OF THE CREDITORS
A SHARE OF THE BUSINESS.

IF THIS KEEPS UP,

IT DOESN'T TAKE A MATHEMATICAL
GENIUS TO FIGURE OUT

THAT THE ONLY WAY WE COULD BREAK
EVEN WOULD BE TO GO OUT OF BUSINESS.

STILL, THERE WERE ALL THOSE BOTTLES
OF NECTAR OF SAN TANCO TO SELL,

AND SISTER BERTRILLE WAS
WILLING TO TRY ANYTHING.

[bubbling]

WANT SOME JUICE?

ARE YOU SURE IT'S
SEA GRAPE JUICE?

I TASTED IT MYSELF.

CARLOS,

WE HAVE BEEN FRIENDS
FOR A LONG TIME.

YOU WOULD NOT BE TRYING TO
EASE ME OUT OF A GOOD THING?

LUIS, BELIEVE ME.

I SAVED YOU FROM GETTING
MIXED UP IN A LOSING PROPOSITION,

SISTER BERTRILLE'S FOLLY.

SUCH SOLICITUDE ON YOUR PART.

IT IS NOT LIKE YOU, CARLOS.

YOU SHOULD BE THANKING
ME, NOT INSULTING ME.

YOU WOULD NOT MIND IF ON MY
WAY BACK I INVESTIGATE FOR MYSELF?

DO THAT.

THEN YOU CAN THANK ME.

SEA GRAPE JUICE.

I WAS AFRAID YOU'D SAY THAT.

I'M SORRY, SISTER,
REVEREND MOTHER,

IT IS VERY GOOD, UH,
FOR SEA GRAPE JUICE,

BUT I'M AFRAID I CAN'T HANDLE A
HOMEMADE PRODUCT SUCH AS THIS.

OF COURSE, WE UNDERSTAND.

THANK YOU FOR
COMING, SENOR FIERRO.

EH, SISTER JACQUELINE
WILL SHOW YOU OUT.

[bubbling]

[tires screeching]

THAT WAS SENOR FIERRO,
WHAT DID HE WANT?

SAMPLING THE NECTAR.

WHAT DID HE SAY?
SEA GRAPE JUICE.

WE'LL OFFER HIM A
BIGGER PERCENTAGE.

SENOR FIERRO. SENOR FIERRO.

[mumbling]

SENOR! SENOR FIERRO.

(Bertrille) SENOR FIERRO,

I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU.

THAT'S SOME POWERFUL
SEA GRAPE JUICE.

SENOR FIERRO, ABOUT
OUR SEA GRAPE JUICE.

YES, HOW ABOUT
THAT SEA GRAPE JUICE.

YOU SURE KNOW HOW TO IMPROVE IT.

WE TRY HARDER.

AND YOU SUCCEED.

WHY DON'T YOU SEND ME
4 CASES TO START WITH?

OH. OH, THANK YOU. I KNEW
YOU'D CHANGE YOUR MIND.

THANK YOU.

HI, CARLOS.

WE HEAR YOU'RE TAKING
A RUN TO ARECIBO TODAY.

YEAH. A PLEASURE TRIP.

OH, WELL, DO YOU MIND MIXING A LITTLE
OF OUR BUSINESS WITH YOUR PLEASURE?

WHAT BUSINESS?

A PRODUCT TO WHICH SENOR FIERRO
NOW HAS EXCLUSIVE DISTRIBUTION RIGHTS.

YOU MEAN HE HAS TAKEN
ON THE SEA GRAPE JUICE?

4 CASES OF OUR FIRST BATCH.

EVIDENTLY, HE SEES
SOMETHING IN IT YOU DON'T.

WELL, EVIDENTLY
HE'S SEEING THINGS.

AND IF YOU ARE ASKING ME
TO DELIVER THESE CASES...

WELL, IF YOU DON'T THEN
THE CHILDREN HAVE TO WALK

ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE GARAGE
WHERE THE STATION WAGON IS BEING FIXED

WITH THOSE HEAVY CASES AND
WE WON'T BE ABLE TO MAKE DELIVERY

AND WE'LL LOSE OUR LAST
CHANCE TO PAY OFF OUR CREDITORS.

HEAVY, HUH? VERY.

OK. PUT THEM IN THE CAR.

OH, THANK YOU.

HUP 2, KIDS. HUP
2, HUP 2, HUP 2.

BUENAS DIAS, SENOR
RAMIREZ. HELLO, SERGEANT.

I'M SORRY, BUT NOTHING TO
REPORT TO CUSTOMS THIS TIME.

AS YOU SAY, SENOR. BUT IF
YOU WOULD PERMIT A QUESTION,

WHAT MIGHT BE IN THESE CASES?

SEA GRAPE JUICE. SEE?

[people chattering]

UH, IT SAYS NECTAR OF SAN TANCO.

THAT'S ANOTHER NAME
FOR SEA GRAPE JUICE.

(Sergeant) I'LL HAVE
TO EXAMINE IT.

HELP YOURSELF.

[seagulls cawing]

YOU ARE UNDER ARREST.

FOR CARRYING SEA GRAPE JUICE?

FOR SMUGGLING SEA GRAPE WINE.

HE'S IN THERE, SISTER.

THANK YOU.

I CAME AS SOON AS I HEARD.

GO AWAY.

CARLOS, YOU HAVE A
RIGHT TO BE UPSET WITH ME.

UPSET. I'M FURIOUS.

OH.

IT'S A GOOD THING
FOR YOU, AND FOR ME,

THAT I AM BEHIND
BARS AT THIS MOMENT.

I'M SURE AS SOON AS THE
AUTHORITIES UNDERSTAND...

THEY UNDERSTAND ONLY
THAT I AM A LINK IN A VAST

INTERNATIONAL
SMUGGLING CONSPIRACY.

THEY ARE HOLDING ME UNTIL THEY
UNCOVER THE REST OF THE ORGANIZATION.

WHOEVER THEY MAY BE.

BUT THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

I KNOW I CAN MAKE
'EM UNDERSTAND.

OH, PLEASE, SISTER,
PLEASE. GO AWAY.

MY LAWYERS WILL
HANDLE EVERYTHING.

ISN'T THERE ANYTHING I CAN DO?

YOU FIXED IT SO I'M IN JAIL.

MY BOAT IS IMPOUNDED.

MY CASINO IS PADLOCKED.

WOULDN'T YOU SAY YOU
HAVE DONE ENOUGH ALREADY?

I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW OUR JUICE
COULD HAVE TURNED INTO WINE.

YOU TELL ME.

SISTER ANA SAYS IT'S A MIRACLE,

BUT I THINK IT MUST HAVE HAD
SOMETHING TO DO WITH FERMENTATION.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU
SHOULD DO? WHAT?

YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO
YOUR SEA GRAPE FARMER,

AND TELL HIM THAT HE DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE A POOR LABORER ANYMORE.

HE CAN GET RICH MAKING WINE.

MAYBE I WILL, CARLOS. THANK YOU.

EVEN IN MISFORTUNE, YOU
ARE THINKING OF OTHERS.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, YOU
WOULD HAVE MADE A GREAT NUN.

STRANGE THAT A NUN
SHOULD COME TO VISIT HIM.

WELL, MAYBE SHE
CAN GET A CONFESSION.

WE COULD NOT.

THAT WINE, WAS IT NOT
LABELED NECTAR OF SAN TANCO?

WHERE THE SISTER COMES FROM.

AND YOU DID NOT
SEE THE CONNECTION?

SERGEANT, WE ARE LOOKING
FOR A SMUGGLING RING.

SURELY YOU DON'T SUSPECT...

I SUSPECT EVERYBODY.

BUT, SISTER,

IF YOU ONLY HAD TOLD ME YOU
WERE GOING TO MAKE SEA GRAPE JUICE,

I WOULD HAVE WARNED
YOU WHAT TO EXPECT.

YOU MEAN YOU'VE MADE IT, TOO?

MANY TIMES.

AND IT ALWAYS TURNED
INTO WINE? OH, AT FIRST IT DID.

AT FIRST?

COME, SISTER, I'LL SHOW YOU.

[birds chirping]

LOOKS LIKE SEA GRAPE JUICE.

SMELLS LIKE SEA GRAPE JUICE.

OH, IT DOESN'T TASTE
LIKE SEA GRAPE JUICE.

WE'LL RETURN THE
RENTED EQUIPMENT,

AND WE'LL PUT THE REST
BACK IN THE STOREROOM.

IT SEEMS SUCH A SHAME.

SISTER BERTRILLE MEANT WELL.

SISTER JACQUELINE, SISTER
BERTRILLE ALWAYS MEANS WELL.

WE JUST HAVE TO
LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT.

COME ALONG, SISTER.

WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?

OH, REVEREND MOTHER,

PLEASE FORGIVE US, AS WE
BEG YOUR PARDON MOST HUMBLY,

BUT, UH... UH... WHAT
HE IS TRYING TO SAY,

REVEREND MOTHER,
IS THIS IS A RAID.

(Inspector) VERY WELL,
YOU MAY ALL TURN AROUND.

NO FALSE MOVES.

SERGEANT, YOU
KEEP AN EYE ON THEM.

THIS IS THE BASE OF THEIR
OPERATIONS, ALL RIGHT.

IT IS A FUNNY LOOKING STILL.

INSPECTOR, I FEEL THERE
MUST BE SOME MISTAKE.

REVEREND MOTHER,
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND

WE HOLD NO SUSPICIONS OF YOU.

WE FEEL THAT RAMIREZ
HAS USED YOU AS A FRONT.

BUT INSPECTOR, WE'RE
OPERATING A LEGITIMATE BUSINESS.

WE EVEN HAD TO GET A LICENSE.

[sea grape juice bubbling]

ARE YOU IN THE BUSINESS
OF MAKING ILLEGAL WINE?

OH, WELL, NO. WE STARTED
OUT BY MAKING SEA GRAPE JUICE.

(Bertrille) HI. AND THEN WE...

WHAT'S GOING ON
HERE? NOTHING MUCH.

INSTEAD OF MASS TODAY,
WE'RE HAVING A RAID.

OH, SISTER BERTRILLE,
WE'RE SO GLAD YOU'VE COME.

PLEASE EXPLAIN ABOUT THE WINE.

AHA, SO SISTER BERTRILLE IS
THE BRAINS OF THIS OUTFIT, HUH?

WELL, I...

TELL ME, SISTER, DO
YOU ADMIT MAKING THIS?

YES.

AH, GOOD. THEN YOU
ADMIT MAKING THE WINE.

NO.

HERE, SISTER, TELL ME,

IS THIS NOT WINE?

WELL, I...

UM, INSPECTOR, I... I'M NOT ACCUSTOMED
TO DRINKING ALONE, WON'T YOU JOIN ME?

I NEVER TOUCH IT
DURING WORKING HOURS.

HOWEVER, IN THE,
UH, LINE OF DUTY...

IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH THE WINE?

IT IS NOT WINE. IT IS VINEGAR.

[Inspector coughing]

ANOTHER MIRACLE.

THEN YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY
DETAIN SENOR RAMIREZ FOR,

UH, SMUGGLING IN
VINEGAR, CAN YOU?

NO, REVEREND MOTHER.

WE MUST REEXAMINE
THE EVIDENCE AGAINST HIM.

I THINK YOU'LL FIND
THAT'S VINEGAR, TOO.

REVEREND MOTHER, MY APOLOGIES.

ACCEPTED. GOOD DAY, INSPECTOR.

I KNOW WE WILL BE PUNISHED
FOR RAIDING THE CONVENT.

COME ON.

SISTER, HOW DID YOU KNOW?

WELL, I JUST FOUND OUT WHY NO ONE'S
EVER GONE INTO THE SEA GRAPE JUICE

BUSINESS BEFORE. WHY?

IT ALWAYS TURNS TO VINEGAR.

[bubbling]

SENOR RAMIREZ,

YOU MUST BE CERTAIN
TO THANK SENOR FIERRO

FOR BUYING OUR VINEGAR.

OH, I'M SURE HE WAS
GLAD TO BE OF HELP.

WELL, THAT DOES IT.

WE HAVE A GRAND
PROFIT OF $19.75.

I TOLD YOU WE COULD
BE SELF-SUSTAINING.

SISTER, THERE IS THE
MATTER OF THE LICENSE.

BUT WE ALREADY
TOOK OUT A LICENSE.

BUT THAT WAS A LICENSE
FOR MAKING SEA GRAPE JUICE.

NOW YOU MUST HAVE A
LICENSE FOR MAKING VINEGAR.

HOW MUCH?

$20.

ALL WE HAVE IS $19 AND 75 CENTS.

[sighing] I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO
END UP COSTING ME SOMETHING.