The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 1, Episode 7 - Polly Wants a Cracked Head - full transcript

Exasperated with the sharp tongue of her talking parrot Junior his vocabulary learned in her saloon, Rose Dolan threatens to fricassee him unless Sisters Bertrille and Jacqueline take him off her hands. Seeing that the convent does not allow pets, the sisters need to find Junior a good home. Unable to do so, they clandestinely take Junior back to the convent. However, Junior's big mouth gives him away. They try and reform his language to convince the Reverend Mother to let him stay, but they fail in their task. As a last resort, Sister Bertrille tries Carlos, who does end up taking Junior. But when Junior's language ruins a date, Carlos wants to get rid of him. Junior has the same idea and flies out the window. It's then that Rose changes her mind - she misses Junior and wants him back. She's heartbroken when she learns of Junior's fate. To help Rose, Sister Bertrille goes out looking for Junior. Miraculously. she finds him, just before a couple of ornithologists are about to nab Junior themselves. Rose and Junior live happily ever after.

[dog barking]

[window smashing]

(Jacqueline) THE CONVENT SAN
TANCO HAS STOOD ON A CLIFF

OVERLOOKING SAN
JUAN, PUERTO RICO,

FOR MORE THAN 200 YEARS.

IT HAS SURVIVED
EARTHQUAKES, BOMBARDMENTS,

AND THE NEAR-CYCLONIC WINDS THAT
FREQUENTLY BEAT AGAINST ITS WALLS.

THE CONVENT'S SURVIVAL ONLY
BECAME A MATTER OF DOUBT RECENTLY,

WITH THE ARRIVAL
OF SISTER BERTRILLE,

A 90-POUND NUN FROM CHICAGO,
WITH A UNIQUE ABILITY TO FLY.

TO FLY EMOTIONALLY...



AND WHEN THE WIND WAS
RIGHT, TO FLY LITERALLY.

[birds chirping]

HI!

[whispering] SISTER BERTRILLE.

OH!

UH, IT'S ALL THE MATTER
OF THE WIND, REALLY.

IT'S VERY SIMPLE. IT
ALL HAS TO DO WITH

LIFT PLUS THRUST BEING
GREATER THAN LOAD PLUS DRAG.

WE THINK... THAT IS,
SISTER BERTRILLE SAYS

THAT IT'S A MATTER OF
MORE LIFT THAN DRAG.

BUT MIRACLES DO HAPPEN.

WE KNOW IT'S A MATTER
OF MORE LIFT THAN DRAG.

DOUBTERS.

(Jacqueline) THE MORNING
THAT SISTER BERTRILLE AND I



SET OFF TO MAKE HOME VISITS
IN THE WATERFRONT AREA,

I HAD A FEELING THAT IT WAS
GOING TO BE NO ORDINARY DAY.

(Rose) I WARNED YOU, JUNIOR.
NOW YOU'RE GONNA GET IT.

(Junior) PLEASE DON'T
HIT ME. YOU'RE MEAN.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A CHILD.
(Junior) YOU'RE MEAN. MEAN!

(Rose) I'M GONNA TEAR YOU
APART WITH MY BARE HANDS!

(Junior) I'M SORRY. I'M
SORRY. CROSS MY HEART.

[squawking] OH NO.
I'VE TAKEN ALL THE LIP

I'M GONNA TAKE FROM YOU,
YOU, YOU... I'M TALKIN' TO YOU,

YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE
MONSTER, YOU. I'M SICK OF YOU.

[squawking] HELP! HELP!

YOU AIN'T SEEN
NOTHIN' YET. HELP. HELP.

YOU LITTLE ROTTEN
BIRD! DON'T BE MEAN.

YOU'RE A ROTTEN BIRD! YOU STAY!

[banging] YOU'RE GONNA HURT HIM.

OH, NO I'M NOT.
I'M GONNA KILL HIM!

[squawking]

OH, PLEASE. DON'T DO THAT.

LOOK, IT'S NONE OF YOUR B-B-B...

[laughs] OH,

UH... UH... HELLO,
SISTERS. UH, LOOK.

WAIT A MINUTE, THIS IS JUST A
FAMILY MATTER, YOU KNOW. THAT'S ALL.

HE IS ONE OF GOD'S CREATURES.

HIM? (Junior) AMEN.
SAVE MY SOUL.

OH, NO, NO, NO. HE BELONGS
TO THE OTHER FELLA.

HEY, LOOK, YOU DON'T KNOW.

YOU FEED 'EM, YOU KEEP 'EM WARM,
YOU WORRY ABOUT 'EM NIGHT AND DAY,

AND WHAT DO YOU GET
FOR ALL YOUR TROUBLE?

YOU GET BACKTALK,
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!

(Junior) DON'T HIT ME, DON'T HIT
ME. OH... UM, WHAT'S HIS NAME?

IT'S... IT'S, UH,
PATRICK DOLAN JUNIOR.

I NAMED HIM AFTER
MY LATE HUSBAND,

GOD REST HIS SOUL.

(Junior) AMEN.

BUT YOU DON'T HOLD A
CANDLE TO PATRICK DOLAN!

[grunting] LET ME...

(Junior) I'M SORRY, I'M
SORRY. MRS. DOLAN!

[all screaming]

LOOK, THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY.

YEAH?

YES. YEAH, I GOT IT.

I GOT IT OK.

YOU WANT HIM, YOU TAKE HIM.

OTHERWISE...

OTHERWISE, HE'S GOING TO BE
THE SPECIAL ON TONIGHT'S MENU.

[Junior squawks]

SISTER, YOU KNOW PETS AREN'T
PERMITTED AT THE CONVENT.

I KNOW.

HELLO, JUNIOR.

HI, SWEETIE.

HE LIKES YOU.

NO, HE DON'T KNOW HOW TO LIKE.

I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY. CROSS
MY HEART. CROSS MY HEART.

[squawks]

WE COULD FIND HIM A HOME
BEFORE WE GO BACK THIS EVENING.

I WONDER... I KNOW WE COULD.

LOOK, HE'S SO
SWEET AND HELPLESS.

SISTER.

YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF
A DEAL, SISTER.

UH, THANK YOU, MRS. DOLAN.

IT'S NOTHING. MY PLEASURE.

BYE.

SO LONG.

AND... AND THIS TIME, JUNIOR,

TRY TO MAKE
SOMETHING OF YOURSELF.

(Junior) BYE-BYE. BYE-BYE.

[sighs]

POOR THING. HE'S ALL SHAKEN UP.

YEAH. LET'S LET HIM
REST FOR A MINUTE.

THERE, THERE, JUNIOR.

GET YOUR LUNCH HOOKS OFF
ME, BABY. I'LL SPIT IN YOUR EYE.

[squawks] I'LL SPIT IN YOUR EYE.

SWEET.

HELPLESS.

(Jacqueline) SISTER
BERTRILLE WAS CERTAIN

THAT A NICE HOME FOR
JUNIOR COULD BE FOUND.

IN HER FIRST PITCH, SHE
TENDED TO OVERSELL.

THAT'S JUST THE SADDEST
STORY I EVER HEARD.

HEARTBREAKING.

UH, HOW MUCH CAN
I GIVE YOU, SISTER?

OH, NO, NO. THIS...
THIS ISN'T A TOUCH.

WE'RE NOT ALWAYS
COLLECTING MONEY.

BUT WE JUST WANT TO
FIND A GOOD HOME FOR HIM.

IT'D MAKE A GREAT SOUVENIR
TO TAKE BACK TO THE STATES.

OH, UH, LOOK, WE
COULDN'T TAKE HIM.

WE... WE'D LIKE TO HELP.

OH, BUT YOU SEE OUR
HOUSE, IT'S SO SMALL.

SMALL? IT'S TINY. SO'S HE.

BUT, WE'RE NEVER HOME.

HE'D GET LONELY. DEPRESSED.

OH, I COULDN'T TAKE
THAT. THAT BIRD NEEDS...

TENDER, LOVING CARE.

PLEASE, SISTER, HOW
MUCH CAN I GIVE YOU?

[Junior squawking] NO.
NO, THANKS, REALLY.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

(Junior) WHO NEEDS
'EM? WHO NEEDS 'EM?

(woman) THAT'S THE
SADDEST STORY I EVER HEARD.

PERHAPS WE SHOULD HAVE
TAKEN THEIR MONEY, SISTER.

THAT WOULDN'T HAVE
SOLVED OUR PROBLEM.

NO. BUT IT WOULD
HAVE SOLVED THEIRS.

(Jacqueline) SISTER BERTRILLE
WAS STILL CONVINCED

THAT WE'D FIND A PLACE FOR
JUNIOR ON ONE OF OUR HOME VISITS.

JUNIOR'S SMALL TALK WAS
NOT FOR POLITE SOCIETY.

HIS ETIQUETTE LEFT
SOMETHING TO BE DESIRED.

BY NIGHTFALL WE FOUND
OURSELVES LEFT HOLDING THE CAGE.

RULES OR NOT,

JUNIOR WAS TO BE A GUEST
OF THE CONVENT SAN TANCO.

[crickets chirping]

SORRY WE'RE LATE,
REVEREND MOTHER.

WE WERE DETAINED.

YES, BY A NEEDY SOUL.

I SEE.

[plates clinking]

WE WERE CONCERNED
ABOUT YOU, SISTERS.

THE WATERFRONT CAN BE
FRIGHTENING AFTER DARK.

YES.

ONLY NOW WE'RE SAYING HOW IT IS
FILLED WITH ROUGHRAFF AND RIFFNIKS.

RIFFRAFF AND ROUGHNECKS, SISTER.

SISTER SIXTO,

PERHAPS YOU ARE TRYING TO
LEARN AMERICAN SLANG TOO QUICKLY.

SISTER BERTRILLE,

ARE YOU EXPECTING A LONG WINTER?

UH, SISTER ANA,

ARE YOU EXPECTING A LONG WINTER?

I HAD NOT REALLY
THOUGHT ABOUT IT.

UH, WOULD YOU PASS ME THE
POTATOES, PLEASE, REVEREND MOTHER?

JUST DYING FOR POTATOES.

(Junior) ♪ WHISKEY
IS THE LIFE OF MAN ♪

♪ WHISKEY JOHNNY ♪

♪ OH, I'LL DRINK
WHISKEY WHILE I CAN ♪

♪ WHISKEY FOR MY JOHNNY ♪

♪ OH, WHISKEY STRAIGHT
AND WHISKEY STRONG ♪

♪ WHISKEY JOHNNY.
GIVE ME SOME WHISKEY ♪

IT'S A HOUSE CRACKER.

HOUSEBREAKER, SISTER.

BUT I DO NOT THINK SO.

UNLESS HE'S NEW TO HIS TRADE.

(Ana) PERHAPS IT IS
ONE OF THE CHILDREN.

♪ [Junior singing]

AND WHERE WOULD ONE OF OUR
CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED A SONG LIKE THAT?

SISTER SIXTO, WOULD YOU PLEASE
GO AND SEE WHAT THE TROUBLE IS?

[thudding] I'LL GO.

UH, SISTER SIXTO HASN'T
FINISHED HER DINNER YET.

(Rev. Mother) YOU HAVE
NOT BEGUN YOURS.

WELL I'M NOT HUNGRY.

REALLY, THIS IS AN UNUSUAL
EVENING, SISTER BERTRILLE.

♪ WHISKEY IS THE LIFE OF MAN ♪

♪ WHISKEY JOHNNY SO I'LL
DRINK WHISKEY WHILE I CAN ♪

♪ WHISKEY FOR MY JOHNNY ♪

♪ OH WHISKEY STRAIGHT
AND WHISKEY STRONG ♪

ARE YOU EXPECTING A LONG WINTER?

♪ WHISKEY FOR MY JOHNNY ♪

♪ WHISKEY KILLED
MY POOR OLD DAD ♪

SISTER SIXTO, PERHAPS
YOU'D BEST GO WITH HER.

♪ WHISKEY DROVE MY MOTHER MAD ♪

♪ WHISKEY FOR MY JOHNNY ♪

♪ WHISKEY MAKES ME
WEAR OLD CLOTHES ♪

♪ WHISKEY JOHNNY ♪

♪ WHISKEY GAVE
ME A BROKEN NOSE ♪

♪ WHISKEY FOR MY JOHNNY ♪

[squawks] JUNIOR, SHH!

HI, SWEETIE. EVERYBODY SING!

♪ IF WHISKEY COMES
TOO NEAR MY NOSE ♪

♪ WHISKEY JOHNNY ♪

JUNIOR, YOU'RE GONNA
QUEER THE WHOLE DEAL.

[squawks] IT'S A
RAID. IT'S A RAID.

[squawking]

ANY LUCK, SISTER? WHAT?

(Junior) TAKE OFF, HONEY. I
JUST CAME IN FOR A SHORT BEER.

YOU SAY SOMETHING? ME? NO.

(Junior) GET LOST, BABY.
YOU'RE NOT MY TYPE.

YOU SOME KIND OF VENTRILOQUIST?

TU SABES, YOU KNOW, LIKE,
THE ONE WITH THE DUMMY.

NO. DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING?

I MUST BE FLAPPING MY LID.

(Junior) RELAX. RELAX.

MADRE MIA, I GOT
STONES IN MY HEAD.

NO, SISTER, YOU DON'T
HAVE STONES IN YOUR HEAD.

MEET JUNIOR.

(Junior) HELLO, CHICKIE BABY.

SISTERS, FOLLOW ME.

(Jacqueline) WHEN SISTER
SIXTO DIDN'T RETURN,

MOTHER SUPERIOR BEGAN TO THINK
SOMETHING DREADFUL HAD HAPPENED.

SHE ORGANIZED A SEARCH PARTY.

SISTER TERESA PICKED UP SOME
REINFORCEMENTS ALONG THE WAY.

SISTER TERESA'S SQUAD WON.

WHAT'S COOKIN'?
WHAT'S COOKIN', BABY?

HE'S A REAL CHATTERBOX.
RIGHT? RIGHT.

(Theresa) RIGHT, SISTER.

[exclaims]

[Children chattering in Spanish]

AND WHO IS THE NEW
LITTLE POSTULANT, SISTER?

THIS IS TURNING OUT TO BE THE
WORST-KEPT SECRET OF THE WAR.

UM, KIDS, THIS IS JUNIOR.

[Speaking Spanish]

[Junior speaking Spanish]

HE'S AMBILINGUOUS. 2-TONGUED.

AND BOTH OF THEM SHOULD
BE WASHED OUT WITH SOAP.

[speaking in Spanish]

[kids laughing]

[Junior continues in Spanish]

HI, SWEETIE.

[whistles]

[squawks]

HE LIKES YOU.

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT IT, REVEREND MOTHER,

HE'S REALLY KIND OF A LOST SOUL.

I MEAN, THE POTENTIAL'S THERE.

HE'S JUST NEVER HAD
THE PROPER ENVIRONMENT.

WE CANNOT KEEP A PARROT IN
THE CONVENT, SISTER BERTRILLE.

HE MAY STAY TEMPORARILY, BUT YOU
MUST FIND A HOME FOR HIM TOMORROW.

COME, CHILDREN.

(Junior) OH, POOR JUNIOR.

NOBODY LOVES JUNIOR.

[squawks]

HERE WE GO AGAIN.

OH, DEAR.

I WISH THE REVEREND MOTHER
COULD SEE THE GOOD SIDE OF JUNIOR.

DOES HE HAVE A GOOD SIDE?

YES. HIS BETTER INSTINCTS JUST
NEED CULTIVATING, THAT'S ALL.

WELL, WE'D BETTER START BY TEACHING HIM
NOT TO CALL THE REVEREND MOTHER "SWEETIE".

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
IF TOMORROW MORNING

THE REVEREND MOTHER FOUND
JUNIOR PRAYING FOR FORGIVENESS?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW, SISTER.

I SUPPOSE FIRST SHE'D WIRE ROME,

THEN THEY'D SEND A BISHOP.

THEN IT MIGHT, UM,
TAKE HER 25 YEARS...

NO. NO.

WELL, YOU YOURSELF SAID
YOU COULD TEACH A PARROT.

WHAT ABOUT THAT PRAYER
WE TEACH THE CHILDREN?

WHAT ABOUT IT, SISTER?

(Jacqueline) SISTER SIXTO
AND I FOUND OURSELVES

DRAGOONED INTO A CRASH PROGRAM.

TO REGENERATE JUNIOR BY MORNING.

I ASK FORGIVENESS OF THE LORD.

[squawks]

OH, SISTER BERTRILLE.

I THINK HE'S GONNA
SAY SOMETHING.

I ASK FORGIVENESS OF THE LORD.

♪ WHEN WHISKEY COMES
TOO NEAR MY NOSE ♪

♪ I TIP IT UP AND DOWN IT GOES ♪

[squawks]

"I ASK FORGIVENESS OF THE LORD."

[squawks]

"FOR ALL MY FOOLISH WAYS."

[screeches] RAW DEAL, RAW DEAL.

JUNIOR, THIS IS FOR
YOUR OWN GOOD.

[sighing]

ALL RIGHT, JUNIOR.
ONE MORE TIME.

WHEN WHISKEY COMES
TOO NEAR MY... [gasps]

"I ASK FORGIVENESS
FOR MY PRIDE."

OH, I HAD SUCH A BAD DREAM.

I DREAMED WE HAD A NEW BISHOP,

AND IT WAS JUNIOR.

WELL, IT'S ONLY A DREAM, SISTER.

ALL RIGHT, JUNIOR. HOP TO.

"I ASK FORGIVENESS OF THE LORD,

"FOR ALL MY FOOLISH WAYS."

[squawking]

"I PRAY FOR..."

[all shouting]

(Jacqueline) SISTER BERTRILLE
FELT THAT JUNIOR'S REGENERATION

WOULD BE DISPLAYED TO BEST
ADVANTAGE IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN.

MY MISSION WAS TO DELIVER REVEREND
MOTHER TO THE SCENE, WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE.

I SIGNALED FOR THE COUNTDOWN.

J-DAY HAD BEGUN.

"FOOLISH WAYS.

"I PRAY FOR GUIDANCE
FROM THE SAINTS,

"TO HELP ME ALL MY DAYS.

"I ASK FORGIVENESS FOR MY PRIDE,

"AND SEEK TO KNOW MY PLACE.

"I PRAY THAT BY
HUMILITY I MAY YET..."

HI, SWEETIE. GIVE US A KISS.

[whistles]

[children laughing]

[screeches]

HE REVOLTED TO
TYPE. HE SURE DID.

[Speaking Spanish]

[children all laughing]

SILENCIO.

SISTER BERTRILLE,
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

YOU MUST FIND A HOME
FOR THIS BIRD IMMEDIATELY.

(Jacqueline) SISTER BERTRILLE
HAD ONE LAST HOPE.

HER FRIEND, SENOR RAMIREZ.

THE ISLAND'S MOST SUCCESSFUL
DISCOTHEQUE OWNER

AND PLAYBOY.

(Junior) PAY UP. PAY UP.
NO DRINKS ON CREDIT.

SORRY. HE... HE WAS
RAISED IN A SALOON.

(Junior) DEADBEATS.

[squawking]

JUST A MINUTE.

[knocking on door]

COMING.

(Carlos) JUST A MINUTE.

DARLING.

OH.

I WAS EXPECTING SOMEONE ELSE.

OBVIOUSLY.

I CAME TO ASK YOU A FAVOR. NO.

+BUT CARLOS... NO.

NO. WHATEVER IT IS, NO.

WELL, I... WITH YOU,
IT'S ALWAYS TROUBLE.

HOW MUCH TROUBLE
CAN ONE LITTLE BIRD BE?

I RAISED HIM FROM
A MERE FLEDGLING.

HE DEPENDS ON ME COMPLETELY.

REALLY. OH, YES.

WHEN HE LEAVES MY
SIDE, HE JUST MOLTS.

THAT IS SO TOUCHING, CARLOS.

I NEVER KNEW THIS SIDE OF YOU.

OH, FEW PEOPLE DO, CECELIA.

YOU SEE, I ALWAYS
FELT I HAD TO HIDE IT.

ALWAYS.

UNTIL I MET YOU.

HOW SAD. YEAH.

WE ARE ALL STRANGERS.

COME A LITTLE CLOSER,
HONEY. COME A LITTLE CLOSER.

[Junior screeching]

WHERE'D HE LEARN
THAT? WELL, HE, UM...

HEARD ME TEACHING A
LITTLE GIRL HOW TO SWIM.

I TEACH THE CHILDREN
AT THE ORPHANAGE.

YOU HAVE A GREAT HEART, CARLOS.

HAVE A LITTLE DRINKIE-PIE.
HAVE A LITTLE DRINKIE-PIE.

I OWN A BAR, REMEMBER?

NOW YOU TRUST ME.

YOU ARE THE FIRST
WOMAN I EVER LOVED.

I TRUST YOU.

[whistling]

WHY DON'T WE SLIP INTO
SOMETHING MORE COMFORTABLE?

HE SAID IT.

YOU TAKE HIM EVERYWHERE.

OH, PLEASE, CECELIA.

THERE IS AN EXPLANATION.

I DON'T WANT TO
HEAR IT, GREAT HEART.

(Junior) YEAH, GREAT
HEART. OH, SISTER BERTRILLE.

SHE'S TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME.

[squawking]

HOW MUCH TROUBLE
CAN ONE LITTLE BIRD BE?

WHAT A LIFE. WHAT A
LIFE. LET ME OUT OF HERE.

[Junior squawking]

WELL, I... I... I... I...

I GOT TO THINKING AND... AND REALLY,
HE'S NOT SUCH A ROTTEN BIRD AFTER ALL.

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, IT'S...

IT'S TOO DARN QUIET WITHOUT HIM.

SO I THOUGHT MAYBE, B-LOOK,

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS, UH,

I WANT HIM BACK.

HE'S GONE, MRS. DOLAN.

HE'S GONE?

HE FLEW AWAY.

OH! LOOK, SISTERS, I, OH...

I KNOW THAT, UH,

WELL, I KNOW THAT I WAS KIND
OF ROUGH ON HIM THE OTHER DAY,

BUT EVERY FAMILY HAS ITS FIGHTS.

OH, COME ON.

GIVE HIM BACK TO ME.

I HAVEN'T GOT HIM, HONESTLY.

I... I FOUND A HOME FOR HIM,

BUT, WELL, HE DIDN'T MAKE
A VERY GOOD ADJUSTMENT.

AS FAR AS WE KNOW, HE'S
GONE BACK TO THE JUNGLE.

HE'S... HE'S REALLY GONE, HUH?

WELL...

WELL, I...

HEY, IT, UH... IT
DOESN'T REALLY MATTER.

HE'S JUST A BIRD.

THE TREES ARE FULL OF THEM.

UH...

HEY, LISTEN, I GOT IT,
IT'S ONE LESS WORRY

THAT I HAVE TO BE
CONCERNED WITH, THAT'S IT.

I'M SO SORRY, MRS. DOLAN.

OH, HEY, DON'T BE SORRY.

DON'T BE SILLY.

OH, THANK YOU VERY
MUCH, SISTERS. THANK YOU.

LOOK, LORD, UH...

YOU PROBABLY DON'T
EVEN REMEMBER MY FACE.

IT'S BEEN SO LONG.

BUT...

DO ME A FAVOR, WILL YOU?

TAKE CARE OF THE LITTLE
MONSTER, WHEREVER HE IS.

YOU SEE,

HE'S NOT MUCH OF
AN OUTDOORS TYPE.

I'VE GOT TO FIND HIM FOR HER.

HOW, SISTER?

SISTER, THIS IS AN AWFULLY BIG
ISLAND TO LOOK FOR ONE LITTLE BIRD.

YES, I KNOW, BUT CARLOS SAID
JUNIOR WAS HEADED SOUTHEAST.

WISH ME LUCK. OH, YES.

THANKS.

WAIT. THANKS.

[squawking] OH, WHAT A NIGHT.

PITY THE POOR CITY BIRD.

[squawking]

DONT PANIC. WHO CAN I TURN
TO? HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS?

[birds squawking]

[birds chirping]

OH.

ELECANUS ERYTHRORHYNCHOS?

OH, I WONDER.

OH, WAIT, IT'S COMING CLOSER.

WITH THOSE BIG BLACK
RINGS AROUND THE EYES,

IT SEEMS MORE LIKE A
EUDYPTES SPHENISCIDAE.

AMAZING! AND IN THIS CLIMATE!

DON'T GIVE UP HOPE,
JUNIOR. A LITTLE HUMILITY.

OKAY, NOW HOP TO.

[Junior squawking] "I ASK FORGIVENESS
OF THE LORD FOR ALL MY FOOLISH WAYS."

SHH.

"I PRAY FOR GUIDANCE FROM THE
SAINTS TO HELP ME ALL MY DAYS."

"I ASK FORGIVENESS FOR MY
PRIDE AND SEEK TO KNOW MY PLACE."

[squawking]

"I PRAY THAT BY HUMILITY I
MAY YET EARN HIS GRACE."

[squawking]

PSITTACUS ERITHACUS.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THEY
WERE NON-SECTARIAN.

OH, WHAT A PRIZE.

FANTASTIC.

WE MUST WIRE THE
SMITHSONIAN. INSTANT.

[squawking]

WHO GOES THERE? FRIEND
OR FOE? FRIEND OR FOE?

WELL, YOUNG FELLOW.

OH. LET'S YOU AND
US GET ACQUAINTED.

[Junior squawking] WE ARE
GOOD FRIENDS NOW, AREN'T WE?

NOW, LOOK. WE'RE ALL IN THE
SAME LINE OF WORK. RIGHT?

BIRDS BUSINESS?

I WOULDN'T TOUCH
THAT BIRD IF I WERE YOU.

HI, SISTER.

SISTER?

WELL, I'M SISTER BERTRILLE.

NICE TO MAKE YOUR ACQUAINTANCE.

HELLO, JUNIOR. AW, SISTER.

YES. I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL
OVER THE JUNGLE FOR YOU.

YES. WELL, IT'S ALL OVER
NOW. WE'RE GOING HOME. YES.

[Junior squawking] IF YOU'LL
EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN.

OH, B-B-BUT TELL ME, SISTER.

DO... DO YOU KNOW THIS BIRD?

OH, YES. WE'RE OLD FRIENDS.

THIS BIRD HAS A MOST
EXTRAORDINARY VOCABULARY.

WHERE WAS HE RAISED?

IN A SALOON.

(Junior) HOW ABOUT
ANOTHER, LADY?

EVERYBODY SING!

[Sister Bertrille murmuring] ♪
WHISKEY IS THE LIFE OF MAN ♪

♪ WHISKEY JOHNNY ♪

[church bell tolling]

HI.

HI. HI, SISTER.

SAY, DO YOU HAVE
ROOM FOR ONE MORE?

ALWAYS. OH, THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW, SINCE THE LORD SAW
FIT TO BRING JUNIOR BACK TO ME,

I THOUGHT I BETTER
GO BACK TO MASS AGAIN.

(children) "I ASK
FORGIVENESS OF THE LORD

"FOR ALL MY FOOLISH WAYS."

(Junior) "I PRAY FOR
GUIDANCE FROM THE SAINTS,

"TO HELP ME ALL MY DAYS.

"I ASK FORGIVENESS
FOR MY PRIDE..."

HE MUST HAVE KNOWN THAT I
WAS COMING HERE, BECAUSE

HE MADE SUCH A FUSS THAT I...

I JUST THOUGHT I'D
BRING HIM ALONG.

"I ASK FORGIVENESS OF THE LORD

"FOR ALL MY FOOLISH WAYS.

"I PRAY FOR GUIDANCE FROM
THE SAINTS TO HELP ME..."

HI, SWEETIE.

HI, SWEETIE.