The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 1, Episode 4 - A Bell for San Tanco - full transcript
The bell at San Tanco is showing its age. Originally meant only to be temporary, the replacement bell sunk on the ship, the Hidalgo, off the coast of Puerto Rico when it was being shipped from Belgium 200 years prior. When Sister Bertrille can't fix the bell, she suggests looking for the wreck of the Hidalgo. She goes to the one person with the money and the boat to even attempt the location and salvage process: Carlos. Carlos agrees, but he really has other things on his mind. He is doing all of this in an attempt to woo his latest girlfriend, Binkie Worsley. He plans to plant a false treasure map, and buy a new bell for the convent, while taking Binkie out for a supposed sailing adventure to locate the wreck and the bell. His plans are thwarted when Sister Bertrille, with the Reverend Mother's reluctant blessing, insists on tagging along. But at least Carlos can still find his planted new bell and act the hero in front of Binkie, that is until Carlos's assistant, Pedro, spills wine on the map he drew with water soluble ink. Carlos dives again and again and again with no luck in finding the exact spot where Pedro planted the bell. Finally, Carlos finds the bell, just as Binkie goes overboard. They lose her. Sister Bertrille suggests she be the flying scout looking for Binkie from a hundred feet up. They find Binkie, on the most part all right. Carlos has become her savior and again plays the hero. However, Carlos' romantic plans are once again laid to rest as Binkie saw Sister Bertille flying while she was on death's edge out in the water, seeing it as a religious vision to change her ways. As for the bell, Pedro is having a hard time removing all the fake barnacles he placed on it because what they found was the real 200 year old bell.
[barking]
(Jacqueline) THIS IS THE CONVENT
SAN TANCO IN SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO.
UNTIL A FEW WEEKS AGO,
WE WERE MUCH LIKE ANY
OTHER TEACHING ORDER.
THAT WAS WHEN SISTER
BERTRILLE CAME TO JOIN US.
THINGS HAVE NEVER BEEN
QUITE THE SAME SINCE.
YOU SEE, SISTER BERTRILLE FLIES.
OH, NOT IN AN AIRPLANE.
SHE ONLY WEIGHS 90 POUNDS,
AND WHEN THE WIND IS
RIGHT, SHE JUST FLIES.
BUT EVEN WITH HER
FEET ON THE GROUND,
SISTER BERTRILLE SOMEHOW MANAGES
TO KEEP THINGS UP IN THE AIR.
TAKE OUR BELL, FOR INSTANCE.
IT HAD SUMMONED US TO PRAYERS
AND SERVED OUR ORDER FAITHFULLY,
FOR ALMOST 3 CENTURIES.
IT WAS TO BE
EXPECTED THAT ONE DAY
[bell ringing] THE BELL WOULD SHOW
SIGNS OF GIVING UP THE GHOST.
BUT OUR SISTER BERTRILLE
IS NOT IN THE HABIT
OF LETTING ANYBODY
OR ANYTHING GIVE UP.
[exclaiming] DON'T
WORRY. I CAN FIX IT.
SISTER, REVEREND
MOTHER SENT ME TO... OH.
[bell clanging] ARE YOU SURE
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
YEAH.
THE CLAPPER'S
LOOSE, THAT'S ALL. OH.
IT'S NOT STRIKING HARD ENOUGH.
AH.
HAMMER, PLEASE. OH, THERE.
[sighing] THANKS.
[panting]
[crackling] OH.
SISTER, THIS BELL'S
RUST IS RUSTING.
WELL, WE'VE BEEN EXPECTING
A NEW ONE FOR SOME TIME NOW.
203 YEARS, TO BE EXACT.
DON'T YOU THINK SOMEONE
OUGHT TO SEND A TRACER THROUGH?
OH, WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
THIS BELL WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE
ANYTHING BUT TEMPORARY.
UGH, SCREWDRIVER. OH, YES.
YOU SEE, ON THE CONVENT'S
50TH ANNIVERSARY,
THE MOTHER HOUSE HAD A
BEAUTIFUL NEW ONE FORGED
FOR US IN BELGIUM. MMM?
BUT UNFORTUNATELY,
THEY SHIPPED IT TO US
ON A FRIGATE CALLED THE HIDALGO.
YOU MEAN THE ONE THAT SANK
OFF THE COAST HERE? UH-HUH.
I GUESS THEY DIDN'T HAVE
INSURANCE IN THOSE DAYS.
AND OF COURSE, WE'VE
NEVER HAD ENOUGH MONEY
TO ORDER ANOTHER ONE.
WELL, THAT'S OK, 'CAUSE THIS
BELL'S AS GOOD AS NEW NOW.
AH, THERE.
OH, WHILE WE'RE UP HERE, DON'T
YOU THINK WE OUGHT TO TEST IT?
LET THE NEIGHBORHOOD KNOW
WE'RE BACK IN TUNE AGAIN?
ALL RIGHT. OK.
[bell clanging discordantly]
SISTER, HAS ANYONE EVER REALLY
SEARCHED, I MEAN, REALLY SEARCHED
FOR THE WRECK OF THE HIDALGO?
(Jacqueline) AN UNDERWATER
SALVAGE JOB REQUIRES A BOAT
AND A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY.
SISTER BERTRILLE KNEW
ONLY ONE PERSON IN SAN JUAN
WHO HAD BOTH.
NO, CARLOS.
IT BRINGS BACK SUCH
PAINFUL MEMORIES.
LORD CEDRIC USED
TO NIBBLE MY ANKLE.
[seagulls calling]
WAIT! OH, HI.
UH, IS SENOR RAMIREZ IN?
SI, BUT HE CANNOT BE DISTURBED.
WELL, THIS IS KIND
OF AN EMERGENCY.
I'M SORRY, SISTER,
BUT SENOR RAMIREZ
IS IN A VERY IMPORTANT
BUSINESS CONFERENCE.
UH, TELL ME, DARLING, DO I
HAVE A CHANCE TO BE FIRST AT...
ANYTHING?
SWEETIE, CAN I
HELP IT IF LIFE IS SO
DEJA...
DEJA VU?
[knocking on door]
PEDRO!
I'M SORRY, SENOR, BUT
SISTER BERTRILLE IS HERE.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A SISTER.
HI, THERE. OH, I'M
SORRY. EXCUSE ME.
A NUN! HOW REFRESHING.
SISTER BERTRILLE, THIS IS...
MISS BINKIE WADSWORTH.
REFRESHED, I'M SURE.
NOW, SISTER, WHAT
CAN I DO FOR YOU?
[seagulls calling]
(Carlos) ARE YOU
OUT OF YOUR MIND?
CARLOS, THAT BELL WAS
DESIGNED FOR OUR TOWER.
WE'LL NEVER HAVE ENOUGH
MONEY TO GET ANOTHER ONE.
SISTER, THERE ARE MILES AND
MILES OF WATER OUT THERE.
THE HIDALGO COULD HAVE
ROTTED AWAY TO TRINIDAD BY NOW.
BUT THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE
A MAP IN THE CAPTAIN'S HOUSE
THAT TELLS EXACTLY
WHERE THE BOAT WENT DOWN.
CAPTAIN BROPHY'S BEEN
DEAD FOR 200 YEARS.
THE HOUSE IS A RUIN.
AND THAT STORY ABOUT THE
MAP IS PROBABLY STARTED
BY THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE.
SWEETY, WHERE IS YOUR
SENSE OF ADVENTURE?
IT'S A TREASURE
HUNT. IT'S SHEER CAMP.
SHEER WHAT? CAMP.
ZINGY!
KICKY-POO? OH.
I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
WOULD YOU COME ON THIS
TREASURE HUNT WITH ME?
TRY TO KEEP ME AWAY.
SISTER. HUH?
YOU WILL HAVE YOUR BELL.
I, CARLOS RAMIREZ, WILL
NOT RETURN TO DRY LAND
UNTIL I HAVE FOUND IT. REALLY?
GEE, YOU CERTAINLY
WERE EASY TO CONVINCE.
I BET SISTER JACQUELINE
WOULD TAKE ALL AFTERNOON.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T COUNT
ON MY SENSE OF ADVENTURE.
REALLY?
TOMORROW WE'LL GO
TO THE CAPTAIN'S HOUSE
AND FIND THE MAP.
AND YOU WILL HAVE YOUR
BELL BY THE END OF THE WEEK.
OH, CARLOS, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THE PLEASURE WILL BE ALL MINE.
PEDRO.
ORDER SOME
PROVISIONS FOR THE BOAT.
THE WEEKEND SPECIAL?
FOR 2.
AND I WANT YOU TO GET AHOLD
OF AN OLD MAP SOMEWHERE
AND TAKE IT OUT TO THE
CAPTAIN BROPHY'S HOUSE.
A MAP?
THEN I WANT YOU TO
GO AND BUY A BELL.
(Binkie) CARLOS.
(Carlos) YES, BINKIE.
YES, HERE.
STAND BY.
OH, SWEETIE, I'M SO EXCITED.
I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A
TREASURE HUNT BEFORE.
NOT WITH BASIL, OR
CEDRIC, OR KURT?
OR MARCO, OR LARS. I CAN'T WAIT.
OH, LISTEN, WHY DON'T WE GO OUT
TO THE CAPTAIN'S HOUSE TONIGHT?
JUST THE 2 OF US.
SISTER BERTRILLE EXPECTS
TO GO WITH US. WE...
WE'LL SURPRISE SISTER BERTRILLE.
WE'LL FIND THE MAP AND
SURPRISE HER WITH IT.
IN FACT, I WOULD
LIKE TO FIND THE BELL
AND SURPRISE HER WITH THAT, TOO.
THE CAPTAIN'S HOUSE IS
SUPPOSED TO BE HAUNTED.
CAMP?
A HAUNTED HOUSE.
ZINGY.
KICKY-POO.
IF THE BELL OF SAN
TANCO WERE TO BE FOUND,
SOMEONE WOULD HAVE
DONE SO A LONG TIME AGO.
BUT, REVEREND MOTHER,
HAS ANYONE REALLY LOOKED
FOR THE BELL IN
ALL THE 200 YEARS?
I CANNOT SAY FOR CERTAIN.
APPEARANCES TO THE CONTRARY,
MY TENURE HERE HAS NOT
BEEN QUITE THAT LENGTHY.
IF A MAN OF SENOR
RAMIREZ', UH, WORLDLINESS
IS WILLING TO ACCEPT
THE, UH, ODDS...
UH, YES, I MUST SAY
THAT ASTOUNDS ME.
YEAH, IT SURPRISED ME, TOO.
BUT HE'S RARIN' TO GET STARTED,
AND TOMORROW MORNING WE'RE
GOING TO THE CAPTAIN'S HOUSE
TO LOOK FOR THE MAP. I WOULD
RATHER THAT YOU DID NOT.
WHY?
CAPTAIN BROPHY'S HOUSE
IS A TOURIST ATTRACTION.
I CANNOT HAVE A
MEMBER OF THIS ORDER
SCURRYING ABOUT THERE
IN... IN BROAD DAYLIGHT
LOOKING FOR A MAP
WHICH PROBABLY DOESN'T...
[bell clanging discordantly]
EXIST.
GO TONIGHT.
[door creaking]
[wind howling]
[floorboard creaking]
[crashing]
[whispering] CARLOS!
[bell ringing]
[exclaims]
OH.
CAMP?
ZINGY.
KICKY-POO.
DON'T WORRY, LITTLE RABBIT.
I WILL PROTECT YOU. COME ON.
ISN'T THE STUDY THE
OBVIOUS PLACE TO LOOK?
TOO OBVIOUS.
SOMEONE WOULD HAVE
FOUND THE MAP LONG AGO. OH.
WHA... WHAT ISN'T OBVIOUS?
THE BEDROOM.
OH.
[creaking]
I WONDER, IF BY ANY CHANCE,
THE MAP COULD POSSIBLY BE
IN THIS WEATHER-BEATEN
OLD SEA CHEST?
[door creaking]
[wind howling]
SOMEONE'S HERE.
OH, RIDICULOUS.
IT'S THE WIND.
[creaking]
[exclaiming]
LOOK.
[Binkie exclaiming]
WHAT IS IT?
[whispering] GHO... GHOSTS.
NOW, THERE'S NO SUCH THING.
[door banging]
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS.
[floorboard creaks]
[quavering] ♪ HELLO,
CAPTAIN PUMPERTINKLE ♪
♪ HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ♪
[Bertrille whispering]
♪ THANK YOU, SIR ♪
♪ I'M VERY WELL I
MUST BE ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
(sisters) ♪ I'M ON MY
WAY I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ HELLO, BETTY
FLIARD-PUPPY, HOW ARE YOU... ♪
[crashing]
[all screaming]
BOO.
WHAT MADE YOU THINK OF
LOOKING IN THE BEDROOM?
I HAD AN INSTINCT.
UNLESS APPEARANCES DECEIVE ME,
I WOULD SAY THAT
HERE IS WHERE THE HIDALGO SANK.
(Bertrille) HMM, THAT'S ABOUT
AN HOUR'S TRIP FROM HERE.
WHAT TIME DO YOU THINK
WE CAN GET UNDER WAY?
WE?
THE LEAST I CAN DO
IS GIVE YOU A HAND.
OH, PLEASE. DON'T
TROUBLE YOURSELF.
OH, NO, NO. IT'S NO
TROUBLE. REALLY.
YOU HAVE YOUR
DUTIES AT THE CONVENT.
OH, THE OTHER SISTER
WILL TAKE OVER FOR ME.
BUT THAT'S PASSING THE BUCK.
DO YOU THINK REVEREND
MOTHER WILL PERMIT YOU
TO GO SKIN DIVING?
OF COURSE NOT. IT IS FRIVOLOUS.
BENEATH YOUR DIGNITY.
WELL, I THOUGHT I COULD
ASK THE REVEREND MOTHER
IF JUST THIS ONCE I COULD
LEAVE MY DIGNITY AT HOME.
JUST THIS ONCE.
SENORITA WADSWORTH
IS IN HER CABIN.
CAN'T THEY WORK ANY FASTER?
THEY KILL THEMSELVES NOW.
SENOR, THE MOTHER SUPERIOR
IS NO GOING TO LET THE
SISTER GO SKIN DIVING.
WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE?
THE MOTHER SUPERIOR IS
ONLY THE HEAD OF THE CONVENT.
WHAT CHANCE DOES SHE HAS
AGAINST SISTER BERTRILLE?
FASTER. FASTER.
[water splashing]
[boat creaking]
OH, MADRE MIA.
[scoffs]
I'VE NEVER SEEN YOUR
BOSS IN SUCH A STATE.
WHO IS THE YOUNG LADY
WHO DESERVES ALL THIS?
GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING.
THIS TIME HE GOES TOO FAR!
[yelling in Spanish]
[yelling]
(Bertrille) CARLOS. HI.
GOOD MORNING. GUESS WHAT?
I CONVINCED THE REVEREND
MOTHER IT WOULD BE OK.
SHE SAID NO SCUBA.
BUT I... I COULD COME
ALONG FOR THE RIDE.
KICKY-POO.
(Jacqueline) SO, THE
TREASURE HUNT BEGAN.
IT WAS NOT ALL SMOOTH SAILING,
LITERALLY OR OTHERWISE.
CHAMPAGNE, SISTER?
CAVIAR? OH, NO, THANK YOU.
I'VE ALREADY HAD MY BREAKFAST.
OH, WASN'T IT SWEET,
SWEET, SWEET OF CARLOS
TO ARRANGE THIS LITTLE LARK
JUST TO LIFT ME OUT
OF MY DOLDRUMS?
OH, DO YOU FALL INTO THE
DOLDRUMS OFTEN, MISS WADSWORTH?
WELL, AFTER ALL,
WHAT DOES LIFE BOIL DOWN TO
BUT PARTIES, PARTIES, PARTIES?
MEN, MEN, MEN.
DULL, DULL, DULL.
GEE. GEE. GEE.
(Carlos) ARE YOU SURE THIS IS
WHERE THE BELL WAS LOWERED?
I PERSONALLY SAW TO
EVERYTHING MYSELF.
THE TARNISHING OF THE BELL,
THE ADDING OF THE
BARNACLES, THE LOWERING.
WE WILL GO DOWN ONCE
AND FIND THE TREASURE.
I WILL FIND THE TREASURE.
I AM THE HERO OF THIS TRIP.
[both chuckling]
DID YOU HAVE TO
USE WASHABLE INK?
DO NOT WORRY, SENOR.
I WILL FIND THE SPOT AGAIN.
HOW?
ARE YOU GOING TO
RECOGNIZE THE WAVES?
[water splashing]
CARLOS, THIS IS NO FUN AT ALL.
PATIENCE.
[panting]
SWEETIE, LET'S
DROP THIS NONSENSE.
IT'S DULL, DULL, DULL.
(Carlos) THAT MAY BE.
BUT WE PROMISED SISTER BERTRILLE
THAT WE WILL FIND HER HER BELL.
WELL, I'M BORED, BORED, BORED.
WELL, THEN FISH, FISH, FISH.
YOU MIGHT HOOK A MARLIN
THAT CAN TAP DANCE.
YOU'RE NOT ZINGY AT ALL.
CARLOS, MAYBE WE
OUGHT TO GIVE UP.
YOU LOOK EXHAUSTED.
NO, SISTER BERTRILLE,
WE ARE GOING TO FIND YOU A BELL.
AS FOR YOU, COLUMBUS,
INTO YOUR SUIT.
YOU, TOO, CAN BE A
TREASURE HUNTER.
YOU FOUND IT? YES.
[exclaiming]
BUT WOULD YOU PLEASE
FEED ME THAT LINE?
ON THE DOUBLE, CAPTAIN.
FAST.
OH, PLEASE, BINKIE, GIVE A
HAND TO SISTER BERTRILLE.
YOU AND I ARE NO LONGER
SPEAKING, SENOR RAMIREZ.
[pulley whirring]
MY FUN, FUN, FUN!
AT LAST, A CHALLENGE.
HOW MUCH CAN ONE BELL WEIGH?
I DON'T KNOW. THE
MAN WHO SOLD IT...
[exclaiming] THE MAN
WHO SOLD WHAT?
NOTHING, SISTER. NOTHING!
THE BELL OF SAN TANCO.
[screams]
HELP!
OH, BINKIE, I'M BUSY.
(Binkie) CARLOS. PLEASE, CARLOS.
WHAT IS IT NOW, BINKIE?
BINKIE?
BINKIE?
[boat engine rumbling]
POOR BINKIE.
SHE WENT BRAVELY,
BRAVELY, BRAVELY.
I WILL RADIO THE COASTGUARD.
BUT THAT'LL TAKE SO MUCH TIME.
DON'T YOU THINK WE OUGHT TO
START LOOKING FOR HER OURSELVES?
OK.
I'LL SWIM THAT WAY.
YOU SWIM THIS WAY.
AND THE COASTGUARD
WILL LOOK FOR 3 BODIES.
SISTER, IT'S A BIG OCEAN.
WHERE DO WE LOOK FIRST?
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED
NAVIGATING BY A FLYING NUN?
WHY, AT A 1,000 FEET, I CAN
SEE FROM HERE TO MIAMI.
BUT I WILL NEED A LITTLE
MORE WIND FOR TAKE-OFF.
UH, PEDRO, GIVE ME
A HAND HERE, PLEASE.
SI, SENOR.
WHAT COURSE DO
YOU FOLLOW, SENOR?
(Carlos) DIVINE INSPIRATION.
NOW GET BELOW.
[boat engine accelerating]
[inaudible]
[whistling]
THIS IS DREARY, DREARY, DREARY.
IT'S A DREAM.
OH, CARLOS.
[sneezing]
OH, I'VE BEEN A
FOOL, FOOL, FOOL.
SELFISH, SELFISH, SELFISH.
WITLESS, WITLESS, WITLESS.
AND YOU SAVED MY LIFE. MMM-HMM.
HOW CAN I EVER
MAKE THAT UP TO YOU?
OH, WE WILL FIND A WAY.
OH.
THEN YOU FORGIVE ME.
OF COURSE.
TOMORROW WHEN
YOU GET OUT OF HERE,
WE'LL GO ON A LONG CRUISE.
OH.
JUST THE TWO OF US.
WE WILL LAZE IN THE SUN.
SLOWLY OUR WOUNDS WILL HEAL.
OH.
SWEETIE, I CAN'T.
YOU CAN'T?
NO.
THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY
THING HAPPENED TO ME.
JUST BEFORE YOU
SAVED ME YESTERDAY,
WHEN I WAS DROWNING,
I HAD THIS VISION.
I THOUGHT I SAW SISTER BERTRILLE
COMING OUT OF THE SKY,
THROWING ME A LIFE PRESERVER.
WELL, OBVIOUSLY,
IT WAS A WARNING.
A WARNING OF WHAT?
THAT IT'S TIME FOR ME
TO CHANGE MY WAYS.
SISTER BERTRILLE
HAS ARRANGED FOR ME
TO GO AWAY TO A RETREAT
TOMORROW TO THINK THINGS OUT.
I'LL BE BACK IN A FEW MONTHS.
I WILL BE A NEW PERSON.
OH, SWEETIE,
YOU WON'T KNOW ME.
I'M SURE I WON'T, BINKIE.
I'M SURE I WON'T.
EXCUSE ME. I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU NEEDED THIS FOR THE FLOWERS.
YOU THINK OF
EVERYTHING, DON'T YOU?
(Carlos) PEDRO, I TOLD
YOU TO CLEAN IT UP.
SENOR, IT WOULD NOT CLEAN.
OH, PEDRO.
(Rev. Mother) EXCUSE
ME, SENOR RAMIREZ.
I'M SURE THAT HE DID
THE VERY BEST HE COULD.
AFTER ALL, IT HAS BEEN UNDER
THE WATER FOR A LONG TIME.
[birds chirping]
SISTERS,
I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
[bell tolling] YES, SENOR?
I TOLD SISTER BERTRILLE
THAT WE WOULD FIND
THE BELL OF SAN TANCO.
AND WE DID.
(Jacqueline) THIS IS THE CONVENT
SAN TANCO IN SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO.
UNTIL A FEW WEEKS AGO,
WE WERE MUCH LIKE ANY
OTHER TEACHING ORDER.
THAT WAS WHEN SISTER
BERTRILLE CAME TO JOIN US.
THINGS HAVE NEVER BEEN
QUITE THE SAME SINCE.
YOU SEE, SISTER BERTRILLE FLIES.
OH, NOT IN AN AIRPLANE.
SHE ONLY WEIGHS 90 POUNDS,
AND WHEN THE WIND IS
RIGHT, SHE JUST FLIES.
BUT EVEN WITH HER
FEET ON THE GROUND,
SISTER BERTRILLE SOMEHOW MANAGES
TO KEEP THINGS UP IN THE AIR.
TAKE OUR BELL, FOR INSTANCE.
IT HAD SUMMONED US TO PRAYERS
AND SERVED OUR ORDER FAITHFULLY,
FOR ALMOST 3 CENTURIES.
IT WAS TO BE
EXPECTED THAT ONE DAY
[bell ringing] THE BELL WOULD SHOW
SIGNS OF GIVING UP THE GHOST.
BUT OUR SISTER BERTRILLE
IS NOT IN THE HABIT
OF LETTING ANYBODY
OR ANYTHING GIVE UP.
[exclaiming] DON'T
WORRY. I CAN FIX IT.
SISTER, REVEREND
MOTHER SENT ME TO... OH.
[bell clanging] ARE YOU SURE
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
YEAH.
THE CLAPPER'S
LOOSE, THAT'S ALL. OH.
IT'S NOT STRIKING HARD ENOUGH.
AH.
HAMMER, PLEASE. OH, THERE.
[sighing] THANKS.
[panting]
[crackling] OH.
SISTER, THIS BELL'S
RUST IS RUSTING.
WELL, WE'VE BEEN EXPECTING
A NEW ONE FOR SOME TIME NOW.
203 YEARS, TO BE EXACT.
DON'T YOU THINK SOMEONE
OUGHT TO SEND A TRACER THROUGH?
OH, WE KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.
THIS BELL WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE
ANYTHING BUT TEMPORARY.
UGH, SCREWDRIVER. OH, YES.
YOU SEE, ON THE CONVENT'S
50TH ANNIVERSARY,
THE MOTHER HOUSE HAD A
BEAUTIFUL NEW ONE FORGED
FOR US IN BELGIUM. MMM?
BUT UNFORTUNATELY,
THEY SHIPPED IT TO US
ON A FRIGATE CALLED THE HIDALGO.
YOU MEAN THE ONE THAT SANK
OFF THE COAST HERE? UH-HUH.
I GUESS THEY DIDN'T HAVE
INSURANCE IN THOSE DAYS.
AND OF COURSE, WE'VE
NEVER HAD ENOUGH MONEY
TO ORDER ANOTHER ONE.
WELL, THAT'S OK, 'CAUSE THIS
BELL'S AS GOOD AS NEW NOW.
AH, THERE.
OH, WHILE WE'RE UP HERE, DON'T
YOU THINK WE OUGHT TO TEST IT?
LET THE NEIGHBORHOOD KNOW
WE'RE BACK IN TUNE AGAIN?
ALL RIGHT. OK.
[bell clanging discordantly]
SISTER, HAS ANYONE EVER REALLY
SEARCHED, I MEAN, REALLY SEARCHED
FOR THE WRECK OF THE HIDALGO?
(Jacqueline) AN UNDERWATER
SALVAGE JOB REQUIRES A BOAT
AND A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY.
SISTER BERTRILLE KNEW
ONLY ONE PERSON IN SAN JUAN
WHO HAD BOTH.
NO, CARLOS.
IT BRINGS BACK SUCH
PAINFUL MEMORIES.
LORD CEDRIC USED
TO NIBBLE MY ANKLE.
[seagulls calling]
WAIT! OH, HI.
UH, IS SENOR RAMIREZ IN?
SI, BUT HE CANNOT BE DISTURBED.
WELL, THIS IS KIND
OF AN EMERGENCY.
I'M SORRY, SISTER,
BUT SENOR RAMIREZ
IS IN A VERY IMPORTANT
BUSINESS CONFERENCE.
UH, TELL ME, DARLING, DO I
HAVE A CHANCE TO BE FIRST AT...
ANYTHING?
SWEETIE, CAN I
HELP IT IF LIFE IS SO
DEJA...
DEJA VU?
[knocking on door]
PEDRO!
I'M SORRY, SENOR, BUT
SISTER BERTRILLE IS HERE.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD A SISTER.
HI, THERE. OH, I'M
SORRY. EXCUSE ME.
A NUN! HOW REFRESHING.
SISTER BERTRILLE, THIS IS...
MISS BINKIE WADSWORTH.
REFRESHED, I'M SURE.
NOW, SISTER, WHAT
CAN I DO FOR YOU?
[seagulls calling]
(Carlos) ARE YOU
OUT OF YOUR MIND?
CARLOS, THAT BELL WAS
DESIGNED FOR OUR TOWER.
WE'LL NEVER HAVE ENOUGH
MONEY TO GET ANOTHER ONE.
SISTER, THERE ARE MILES AND
MILES OF WATER OUT THERE.
THE HIDALGO COULD HAVE
ROTTED AWAY TO TRINIDAD BY NOW.
BUT THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE
A MAP IN THE CAPTAIN'S HOUSE
THAT TELLS EXACTLY
WHERE THE BOAT WENT DOWN.
CAPTAIN BROPHY'S BEEN
DEAD FOR 200 YEARS.
THE HOUSE IS A RUIN.
AND THAT STORY ABOUT THE
MAP IS PROBABLY STARTED
BY THE CHAMBER OF COMMERCE.
SWEETY, WHERE IS YOUR
SENSE OF ADVENTURE?
IT'S A TREASURE
HUNT. IT'S SHEER CAMP.
SHEER WHAT? CAMP.
ZINGY!
KICKY-POO? OH.
I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN.
WOULD YOU COME ON THIS
TREASURE HUNT WITH ME?
TRY TO KEEP ME AWAY.
SISTER. HUH?
YOU WILL HAVE YOUR BELL.
I, CARLOS RAMIREZ, WILL
NOT RETURN TO DRY LAND
UNTIL I HAVE FOUND IT. REALLY?
GEE, YOU CERTAINLY
WERE EASY TO CONVINCE.
I BET SISTER JACQUELINE
WOULD TAKE ALL AFTERNOON.
WELL, YOU DIDN'T COUNT
ON MY SENSE OF ADVENTURE.
REALLY?
TOMORROW WE'LL GO
TO THE CAPTAIN'S HOUSE
AND FIND THE MAP.
AND YOU WILL HAVE YOUR
BELL BY THE END OF THE WEEK.
OH, CARLOS, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THE PLEASURE WILL BE ALL MINE.
PEDRO.
ORDER SOME
PROVISIONS FOR THE BOAT.
THE WEEKEND SPECIAL?
FOR 2.
AND I WANT YOU TO GET AHOLD
OF AN OLD MAP SOMEWHERE
AND TAKE IT OUT TO THE
CAPTAIN BROPHY'S HOUSE.
A MAP?
THEN I WANT YOU TO
GO AND BUY A BELL.
(Binkie) CARLOS.
(Carlos) YES, BINKIE.
YES, HERE.
STAND BY.
OH, SWEETIE, I'M SO EXCITED.
I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A
TREASURE HUNT BEFORE.
NOT WITH BASIL, OR
CEDRIC, OR KURT?
OR MARCO, OR LARS. I CAN'T WAIT.
OH, LISTEN, WHY DON'T WE GO OUT
TO THE CAPTAIN'S HOUSE TONIGHT?
JUST THE 2 OF US.
SISTER BERTRILLE EXPECTS
TO GO WITH US. WE...
WE'LL SURPRISE SISTER BERTRILLE.
WE'LL FIND THE MAP AND
SURPRISE HER WITH IT.
IN FACT, I WOULD
LIKE TO FIND THE BELL
AND SURPRISE HER WITH THAT, TOO.
THE CAPTAIN'S HOUSE IS
SUPPOSED TO BE HAUNTED.
CAMP?
A HAUNTED HOUSE.
ZINGY.
KICKY-POO.
IF THE BELL OF SAN
TANCO WERE TO BE FOUND,
SOMEONE WOULD HAVE
DONE SO A LONG TIME AGO.
BUT, REVEREND MOTHER,
HAS ANYONE REALLY LOOKED
FOR THE BELL IN
ALL THE 200 YEARS?
I CANNOT SAY FOR CERTAIN.
APPEARANCES TO THE CONTRARY,
MY TENURE HERE HAS NOT
BEEN QUITE THAT LENGTHY.
IF A MAN OF SENOR
RAMIREZ', UH, WORLDLINESS
IS WILLING TO ACCEPT
THE, UH, ODDS...
UH, YES, I MUST SAY
THAT ASTOUNDS ME.
YEAH, IT SURPRISED ME, TOO.
BUT HE'S RARIN' TO GET STARTED,
AND TOMORROW MORNING WE'RE
GOING TO THE CAPTAIN'S HOUSE
TO LOOK FOR THE MAP. I WOULD
RATHER THAT YOU DID NOT.
WHY?
CAPTAIN BROPHY'S HOUSE
IS A TOURIST ATTRACTION.
I CANNOT HAVE A
MEMBER OF THIS ORDER
SCURRYING ABOUT THERE
IN... IN BROAD DAYLIGHT
LOOKING FOR A MAP
WHICH PROBABLY DOESN'T...
[bell clanging discordantly]
EXIST.
GO TONIGHT.
[door creaking]
[wind howling]
[floorboard creaking]
[crashing]
[whispering] CARLOS!
[bell ringing]
[exclaims]
OH.
CAMP?
ZINGY.
KICKY-POO.
DON'T WORRY, LITTLE RABBIT.
I WILL PROTECT YOU. COME ON.
ISN'T THE STUDY THE
OBVIOUS PLACE TO LOOK?
TOO OBVIOUS.
SOMEONE WOULD HAVE
FOUND THE MAP LONG AGO. OH.
WHA... WHAT ISN'T OBVIOUS?
THE BEDROOM.
OH.
[creaking]
I WONDER, IF BY ANY CHANCE,
THE MAP COULD POSSIBLY BE
IN THIS WEATHER-BEATEN
OLD SEA CHEST?
[door creaking]
[wind howling]
SOMEONE'S HERE.
OH, RIDICULOUS.
IT'S THE WIND.
[creaking]
[exclaiming]
LOOK.
[Binkie exclaiming]
WHAT IS IT?
[whispering] GHO... GHOSTS.
NOW, THERE'S NO SUCH THING.
[door banging]
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS.
[floorboard creaks]
[quavering] ♪ HELLO,
CAPTAIN PUMPERTINKLE ♪
♪ HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ♪
[Bertrille whispering]
♪ THANK YOU, SIR ♪
♪ I'M VERY WELL I
MUST BE ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
(sisters) ♪ I'M ON MY
WAY I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ HELLO, BETTY
FLIARD-PUPPY, HOW ARE YOU... ♪
[crashing]
[all screaming]
BOO.
WHAT MADE YOU THINK OF
LOOKING IN THE BEDROOM?
I HAD AN INSTINCT.
UNLESS APPEARANCES DECEIVE ME,
I WOULD SAY THAT
HERE IS WHERE THE HIDALGO SANK.
(Bertrille) HMM, THAT'S ABOUT
AN HOUR'S TRIP FROM HERE.
WHAT TIME DO YOU THINK
WE CAN GET UNDER WAY?
WE?
THE LEAST I CAN DO
IS GIVE YOU A HAND.
OH, PLEASE. DON'T
TROUBLE YOURSELF.
OH, NO, NO. IT'S NO
TROUBLE. REALLY.
YOU HAVE YOUR
DUTIES AT THE CONVENT.
OH, THE OTHER SISTER
WILL TAKE OVER FOR ME.
BUT THAT'S PASSING THE BUCK.
DO YOU THINK REVEREND
MOTHER WILL PERMIT YOU
TO GO SKIN DIVING?
OF COURSE NOT. IT IS FRIVOLOUS.
BENEATH YOUR DIGNITY.
WELL, I THOUGHT I COULD
ASK THE REVEREND MOTHER
IF JUST THIS ONCE I COULD
LEAVE MY DIGNITY AT HOME.
JUST THIS ONCE.
SENORITA WADSWORTH
IS IN HER CABIN.
CAN'T THEY WORK ANY FASTER?
THEY KILL THEMSELVES NOW.
SENOR, THE MOTHER SUPERIOR
IS NO GOING TO LET THE
SISTER GO SKIN DIVING.
WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE?
THE MOTHER SUPERIOR IS
ONLY THE HEAD OF THE CONVENT.
WHAT CHANCE DOES SHE HAS
AGAINST SISTER BERTRILLE?
FASTER. FASTER.
[water splashing]
[boat creaking]
OH, MADRE MIA.
[scoffs]
I'VE NEVER SEEN YOUR
BOSS IN SUCH A STATE.
WHO IS THE YOUNG LADY
WHO DESERVES ALL THIS?
GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING.
THIS TIME HE GOES TOO FAR!
[yelling in Spanish]
[yelling]
(Bertrille) CARLOS. HI.
GOOD MORNING. GUESS WHAT?
I CONVINCED THE REVEREND
MOTHER IT WOULD BE OK.
SHE SAID NO SCUBA.
BUT I... I COULD COME
ALONG FOR THE RIDE.
KICKY-POO.
(Jacqueline) SO, THE
TREASURE HUNT BEGAN.
IT WAS NOT ALL SMOOTH SAILING,
LITERALLY OR OTHERWISE.
CHAMPAGNE, SISTER?
CAVIAR? OH, NO, THANK YOU.
I'VE ALREADY HAD MY BREAKFAST.
OH, WASN'T IT SWEET,
SWEET, SWEET OF CARLOS
TO ARRANGE THIS LITTLE LARK
JUST TO LIFT ME OUT
OF MY DOLDRUMS?
OH, DO YOU FALL INTO THE
DOLDRUMS OFTEN, MISS WADSWORTH?
WELL, AFTER ALL,
WHAT DOES LIFE BOIL DOWN TO
BUT PARTIES, PARTIES, PARTIES?
MEN, MEN, MEN.
DULL, DULL, DULL.
GEE. GEE. GEE.
(Carlos) ARE YOU SURE THIS IS
WHERE THE BELL WAS LOWERED?
I PERSONALLY SAW TO
EVERYTHING MYSELF.
THE TARNISHING OF THE BELL,
THE ADDING OF THE
BARNACLES, THE LOWERING.
WE WILL GO DOWN ONCE
AND FIND THE TREASURE.
I WILL FIND THE TREASURE.
I AM THE HERO OF THIS TRIP.
[both chuckling]
DID YOU HAVE TO
USE WASHABLE INK?
DO NOT WORRY, SENOR.
I WILL FIND THE SPOT AGAIN.
HOW?
ARE YOU GOING TO
RECOGNIZE THE WAVES?
[water splashing]
CARLOS, THIS IS NO FUN AT ALL.
PATIENCE.
[panting]
SWEETIE, LET'S
DROP THIS NONSENSE.
IT'S DULL, DULL, DULL.
(Carlos) THAT MAY BE.
BUT WE PROMISED SISTER BERTRILLE
THAT WE WILL FIND HER HER BELL.
WELL, I'M BORED, BORED, BORED.
WELL, THEN FISH, FISH, FISH.
YOU MIGHT HOOK A MARLIN
THAT CAN TAP DANCE.
YOU'RE NOT ZINGY AT ALL.
CARLOS, MAYBE WE
OUGHT TO GIVE UP.
YOU LOOK EXHAUSTED.
NO, SISTER BERTRILLE,
WE ARE GOING TO FIND YOU A BELL.
AS FOR YOU, COLUMBUS,
INTO YOUR SUIT.
YOU, TOO, CAN BE A
TREASURE HUNTER.
YOU FOUND IT? YES.
[exclaiming]
BUT WOULD YOU PLEASE
FEED ME THAT LINE?
ON THE DOUBLE, CAPTAIN.
FAST.
OH, PLEASE, BINKIE, GIVE A
HAND TO SISTER BERTRILLE.
YOU AND I ARE NO LONGER
SPEAKING, SENOR RAMIREZ.
[pulley whirring]
MY FUN, FUN, FUN!
AT LAST, A CHALLENGE.
HOW MUCH CAN ONE BELL WEIGH?
I DON'T KNOW. THE
MAN WHO SOLD IT...
[exclaiming] THE MAN
WHO SOLD WHAT?
NOTHING, SISTER. NOTHING!
THE BELL OF SAN TANCO.
[screams]
HELP!
OH, BINKIE, I'M BUSY.
(Binkie) CARLOS. PLEASE, CARLOS.
WHAT IS IT NOW, BINKIE?
BINKIE?
BINKIE?
[boat engine rumbling]
POOR BINKIE.
SHE WENT BRAVELY,
BRAVELY, BRAVELY.
I WILL RADIO THE COASTGUARD.
BUT THAT'LL TAKE SO MUCH TIME.
DON'T YOU THINK WE OUGHT TO
START LOOKING FOR HER OURSELVES?
OK.
I'LL SWIM THAT WAY.
YOU SWIM THIS WAY.
AND THE COASTGUARD
WILL LOOK FOR 3 BODIES.
SISTER, IT'S A BIG OCEAN.
WHERE DO WE LOOK FIRST?
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED
NAVIGATING BY A FLYING NUN?
WHY, AT A 1,000 FEET, I CAN
SEE FROM HERE TO MIAMI.
BUT I WILL NEED A LITTLE
MORE WIND FOR TAKE-OFF.
UH, PEDRO, GIVE ME
A HAND HERE, PLEASE.
SI, SENOR.
WHAT COURSE DO
YOU FOLLOW, SENOR?
(Carlos) DIVINE INSPIRATION.
NOW GET BELOW.
[boat engine accelerating]
[inaudible]
[whistling]
THIS IS DREARY, DREARY, DREARY.
IT'S A DREAM.
OH, CARLOS.
[sneezing]
OH, I'VE BEEN A
FOOL, FOOL, FOOL.
SELFISH, SELFISH, SELFISH.
WITLESS, WITLESS, WITLESS.
AND YOU SAVED MY LIFE. MMM-HMM.
HOW CAN I EVER
MAKE THAT UP TO YOU?
OH, WE WILL FIND A WAY.
OH.
THEN YOU FORGIVE ME.
OF COURSE.
TOMORROW WHEN
YOU GET OUT OF HERE,
WE'LL GO ON A LONG CRUISE.
OH.
JUST THE TWO OF US.
WE WILL LAZE IN THE SUN.
SLOWLY OUR WOUNDS WILL HEAL.
OH.
SWEETIE, I CAN'T.
YOU CAN'T?
NO.
THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY
THING HAPPENED TO ME.
JUST BEFORE YOU
SAVED ME YESTERDAY,
WHEN I WAS DROWNING,
I HAD THIS VISION.
I THOUGHT I SAW SISTER BERTRILLE
COMING OUT OF THE SKY,
THROWING ME A LIFE PRESERVER.
WELL, OBVIOUSLY,
IT WAS A WARNING.
A WARNING OF WHAT?
THAT IT'S TIME FOR ME
TO CHANGE MY WAYS.
SISTER BERTRILLE
HAS ARRANGED FOR ME
TO GO AWAY TO A RETREAT
TOMORROW TO THINK THINGS OUT.
I'LL BE BACK IN A FEW MONTHS.
I WILL BE A NEW PERSON.
OH, SWEETIE,
YOU WON'T KNOW ME.
I'M SURE I WON'T, BINKIE.
I'M SURE I WON'T.
EXCUSE ME. I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU NEEDED THIS FOR THE FLOWERS.
YOU THINK OF
EVERYTHING, DON'T YOU?
(Carlos) PEDRO, I TOLD
YOU TO CLEAN IT UP.
SENOR, IT WOULD NOT CLEAN.
OH, PEDRO.
(Rev. Mother) EXCUSE
ME, SENOR RAMIREZ.
I'M SURE THAT HE DID
THE VERY BEST HE COULD.
AFTER ALL, IT HAS BEEN UNDER
THE WATER FOR A LONG TIME.
[birds chirping]
SISTERS,
I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
[bell tolling] YES, SENOR?
I TOLD SISTER BERTRILLE
THAT WE WOULD FIND
THE BELL OF SAN TANCO.
AND WE DID.