The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 1, Episode 28 - May the Wind Be Always at Your Back - full transcript

Bridgett Faulkner and Joel Bascomb reluctantly accept their prizes donated by Carlos Ramirez as the top students at the convent, the award being a day out on the town and dinner at the Captains Table. For bookwormish, self-consciously Plain-Janish and headstrong Bridgett, it is a day of frivolity that she cannot afford to take as it will take away from study time. Joel follows Bridgett's every move, as he idolizes her. On the day out, Bridgett eventually falls under Carlos' spell, Carlos who was only trying to be nice. Bridgett changes her focus from her school work to making herself look beautiful for Carlos. Joel on the other hand is jealous. Out of concern and out of jealousy, he tells Sister Bertrille what Bridgett is up to. The sister and Carlos figure that he needs to tell Bridgett directly that he is only her friend and could be nothing more, but is late in doing so and Bridgett explodes when she catches Carlos romantically with another woman. Despite Bridgett's anger, Sister Bertrille convinces Joel that he should tell Bridgett how he really feels about her. He does and the reality of more appropriate puppy love comes to light.

[dog barking]

[glass shattering]

(Jacqueline) IN HER
ENDLESS WAR TO PROVIDE

INCENTIVES FOR THE STUDENTS
TO IMPROVE THEIR GRADES,

SISTER BERTRILLE PERSUADED THE
DASHING CARLOS RAMIREZ TO AWARD A PRIZE

TO THE BOY AND GIRL WHO, DURING
THE YEAR, ACHIEVED THE HIGHEST MARKS.

WHY DO YOU SUPPOSE
THEY WANT TO SEE US?

WELL, IT'S THE CONTEST,
THAT'S WHAT IT IS. WE'VE WON IT.

WELL, I WON'T BE
ACCEPTING THE PRIZE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH A DAY IN
TOWN AND DINNER AT THE CAPTAIN'S CABIN?

HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE
WITH 2 HOMELY KIDS LIKE US.



SISTER BERTRILLE MADE HIM DO IT.

(Rev. Mother) YES,
CHILDREN. COME IN.

SENOR RAMIREZ, THIS IS BRIDGETT
FAULKNER AND JOEL BASCOMB.

HOW DO YOU DO?

BRIDGETT, JOEL,

I'M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE YOU'RE
THE WINNERS OF THE CONTEST.

(Bertrille) WELL, WHAT DO
YOU TWO THINK OF THAT?

I'M GRATEFUL TO THE GENTLEMAN,

BUT I CAN'T AFFORD TO BE WASTING
MY VALUABLE TIME ON FRIVOLITY.

NOW, I-I'D BETTER BE GETTING
BACK TO THE FROG I'M DISSECTING.

THANK YOU ALL THE SAME.

BRIDGETT?

SENOR RAMIREZ, I... I... I AM SURE THAT
BRIDGETT DID NOT INTEND TO BE RUDE.

WELL, AT LEAST
WE STILL HAVE JOEL.



UH, IF SHE DOESN'T HAVE
THE TIME, NEITHER DO I.

UM, THANKS ALL THE SAME.

UH, JOEL.

WELL, ANOTHER TIME,
PERHAPS. I'LL BE RUNNING ALONG.

NOW CARLOS, DON'T BE ANGRY.
I'LL TALK TO THEM. THEY'LL GO.

IT'S JUST THAT
BRIDGETT IS SO SHY.

ESPECIALLY AROUND YOU.

YOU SEE, YOU'RE A
VERY ROMANTIC FIGURE

TO ALL THE YOUNG
GIRLS AROUND HERE.

YOU REPRESENT A KIND OF
SOPHISTICATION AND WORLDLINESS.

(Bertrille) ACTUALLY, SHE'S ACHING
TO GO BUT JUST AFRAID TO SAY SO.

IT'D BE THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD
FOR HER. IT'S JUST WHAT SHE NEEDS,

A LITTLE FUN, A
LITTLE EXCITEMENT.

SO, WE'LL MEET YOU AT 10:00
TOMORROW MORNING SHARP, RIGHT?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
BUT I... I HAVE A FEELING

YOU'RE ALL MUCH
SMARTER THAN I AM.

GOOD DAY, SENOR RAMIREZ.

PHEW. THAT WAS CLOSE.

SOPHISTICATION AND
WORLDLINESS. WAS THAT, UH...

NOT A BIT THICK?

SO IS LINGUINI.

WHAT'S LINGUINI GOT
TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

IT HAPPENS TO BE THE SPECIALTY
OF THE HOUSE AT THE CAPTAIN'S CABIN.

YOU THINK I'M GONNA MISS THAT?

[people chattering]

(Jacqueline) AFTER
HOURS OF PERSUASION,

THE 2 SCHOLARS AGREED
TO ACCEPT THE PRIZE.

BUT AS IT TURNED OUT, THE
ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THE DAY

WAS THAT SISTER BERTRILLE
FINALLY HAD HER FILL OF LINGUINI.

♪ [band playing] MMM-HMM.

MMM.

(Bertrille) OH,
THAT'S WONDERFUL.

OH, LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENING.

JOEL, AREN'T YOU GOING
TO ASK BRIDGETT TO DANCE?

OF COURSE HE'S NOT!

BECAUSE HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW.

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW.

AND EVEN IF HE KNEW HOW,
HE WOULDN'T BE ASKING ME.

WHY NOT?

(Joel) SHE DOESN'T THINK
SHE'S PRETTY, THAT'S WHY.

(Bertrille) OH, WELL,
THAT'S NONSENSE.

BEAUTY ISN'T JUST SOMETHING ON
THE OUTSIDE. IT'S ON THE INSIDE AS WELL,

AND THAT'S WHERE IT
REALLY COUNTS, HUH, CARLOS?

YEAH? OH... OH, DEFINITELY.

WOULD YOU DANCE
WITH ME, BRIDGETT?

IF YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE
ME AN OBJECT OF RIDICULE,

I'LL THANK YOU TO SAVE
YOUR BREATH. BUT I'M NOT.

LOOK, I'VE DONE EVERYTHING YOU
WANTED ME TO DO ALL DAY, HAVEN'T I?

SLOGGING THROUGH THE
INSTITUTE OF MARINE BIOLOGY,

DRAGGING THROUGH THE MUSEUM
OF NATURAL HISTORY, 2 LIBRARIES.

CAN'T YOU DO
SOMETHING I WANT TO DO?

YES, BRIDGETT. IT'S ONLY FAIR.

OH, ALL RIGHT, SISTER.
IF IT'LL MAKE YOU HAPPY.

I HOPE YOUR TOES ARE
IMMUNED FROM PAIN.

YOU JUST FOLLOW ME.
I'LL WORRY ABOUT MY TOES.

YOU SEE? HOW EASY IT IS?

OH, I'M NO GOOD AT IT. I'M
SITTING DOWN. OH, COME ON.

I DIDN'T KNOW THE
IRISH WERE QUITTERS.

AND WHAT KIND OF AN ENGLISH
REMARK IS THAT? WELL, ARE THEY?

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'D WANT TO DANCE
WITH ME WHEN YOU KNOW SOMEONE LIKE HER.

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

YOU DON'T MISS MUCH, DO YOU?

NOT WHEN YOU'RE UGLY.

OH, WHEN SHE WAS YOUR
AGE, SHE WORE BRACES,

SHE WAS SKINNY, AND SHE USED TO
CRY HERSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT

BECAUSE SHE
THOUGHT SHE WAS UGLY.

OH, WHAT HAPPENED? WELL,
SHE CAME OUT OF HER COCOON.

AND YOU CAN, TOO,

IF YOU MAKE THE MOST
OF YOUR BEST FEATURES.

YOU HAVE A LOVELY SMILE.

THAT'S BETTER.

(Carlos) NOW, COME ON.

STOP HIDING YOUR
LIGHT UNDER A BUSHEL.

UH, I HAVE A STOMACH ACHE.
I FEEL YELLOW-GREENISH.

YOU LOOK ALL RIGHT.

I MAY THROW UP.

DON'T YOU DARE.
SIR? YES, SISTER.

WOULD YOU TELL SENOR RAMIREZ
TO BRING THE YOUNG LADY HOME

AS SOON AS SHE'S FINISHED
HER DESSERT? SURE.

OH, BUT SHOULDN'T
BRIDGETT COME WITH US?

WELL, SHE'S HAVING TOO
GOOD OF A TIME. WHY SPOIL IT?

[sighing]

MY FATHER LOVED TO DANCE.

HE COULD DANCE THE BEST JIG
OF ALL THE FISHERMEN IN IRELAND.

NOW, AREN'T YOU JUST
A LITTLE BIT PREJUDICED?

OH, NO. 'TIS THE TRUTH,

LYING NOT BEING ONE OF MY SINS.

OH, HE WAS A GRAND ONE.

HE PUT THEM ALL
TO SHAME, HE DID.

[sighing] THAT'S WHAT HE MISSED
MOST WHEN WE CAME HERE.

JIGGING ON THE SUNDAY
AND THE OLD TUNES.

"BRIDGETT," HE SAID, "I CAN'T LEAVE YOU
MUCH IN THE WAY OF THIS WORLD'S GOODS.

"FOR THAT I'M SORRY.

"BUT YOU'RE AN ENTERPRISING LITTLE
FISH, WITH A QUICK MIND AND A GOOD HEART.

"AND YOU'LL GET ON, YOU WILL.

(Bridgett) GO TO THE
SISTERS, THEY'LL HELP YOU."

SO, AFTER HE DIED,

I KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND I
SAID, "I AM BRIDGETT FAULKNER.

"AND LET ME IN, FOR I'M AN ENTERPRISING
LITTLE FISH IN NEED OF AN EDUCATION,

AND I'LL DO CLEANING
AND MENDING TO GET IT."

WHAT TIME WOULD IT BE?

I DON'T KNOW. I LOST MY WATCH.

IT'S 9:00, MISS.

OH, GLORY. SISTER'LL BE
HAVING A TIPPERARY FIT.

COME ON, WE'VE GOT TO
GET OUT OF HERE. SURE.

[crickets chirping]

IT'S BEEN AN EVENING WITH
ROYALTY, IS WHAT IT'S BEEN.

AND I THANK YOU FOR IT.

DON'T THANK ME.
YOU WON IT AS A PRIZE.

OH, BUT NOT THE DANCIN'
LESSON. THAT WAS EXTRA.

AND I HAVE NO MONEY OR
POSSESSIONS, SO I CAN'T BE PAYING YOU.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD
AN IRISH BLESSING?

NO.

(Bridgett) DO YOU WANT ONE?

YOU SHOULD AT LEAST
HAVE ONE IN YOUR LIFETIME.

YES, I THINK YOU OUGHT.

IS IT A FAIR EXCHANGE?

WELL, IF I SAID YES,

HOW WOULD IT GO?

BRACE YOURSELF,
FOR IT'S COMING AT YOU.

I AM BRACED.

MAY THE ROAD RISE TO MEET YOU.

MAY THE WIND BE
ALWAYS AT YOUR BACK.

MAY THE SUN SHINE
WARM UPON YOUR FACE.

THE RAIN, FALL SOFT
UPON YOUR FIELDS.

AND UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, MAY GOD
HOLD YOU IN THE PALM OF HIS HAND.

GOOD NIGHT, LITTLE FISH.

OH, I KNOW I'M LATE.

BUT DON'T GIVE ME A
SCOLDING. NOT TONIGHT.

DON'T SPOIL THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
DAY A GALWAY GIRL EVER HAD.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH
YOUR HAND? OH, HE KISSED IT.

HE RAISED IT UP AND HE
KISSED THE BACK OF IT,

LIKE I WAS A GRAND
LADY IN A CASTLE.

[knocking on door]

COME IN.

WELL, HERE'S THE
WET MUD YOU WANTED.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
DO? RUN A SOIL TEST?

OH, DON'T BE STUPID.

I'M GIVING MYSELF A MUD PACK.

SISTER, CAN I SPEAK
TO YOU? SHOOT.

UM, I... I MEAN, IF I WERE
TO TELL YOU SOMETHING,

YOU WOULDN'T TELL A CERTAIN
PERSON I TOLD YOU, WOULD YOU?

IF IT'S GOSSIP, I DON'T
WANT TO HEAR IT.

UH, THIS ISN'T GOSSIP. IT'S JUST
THAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT BRIDGETT.

BRIDGETT? WHY?

WELL, SHE'S BEEN ACTING ODD LATELY
AND NOT WORKING ON HER PAPER.

IT HAS TO BE TURNED IN BY MONDAY, OR
ELSE SHE WON'T GET HER SCHOLARSHIP.

I JUST THOUGHT I'D TELL
YOU FOR HER OWN GOOD.

NO, JOEL'S RIGHT. SHE'S LOST HER
CONCENTRATION. NOW LOOK AT THIS TEST.

SHE PUT LOS ANGELES IN
ARIZONA AND ST. LOUIS IN ARKANSAS.

[knocking on door]

[sighing]

(Jacqueline) SISTER,
[crickets chirping]

LOOK.

SHE'S FLOWN THE COOP.

(Bertrille) LOOK AT THIS.

OH, YOU DON'T SUPPOSE SHE'S...

I'LL BE BACK LATER.

♪ [music playing]

OH, NO, NO, NO. WHAT I AM
TRYING TO SAY... GOOD NIGHT.

I'M TRYING TO SAY, YOU WILL HAVE
TO SHOW ME YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE.

AND I'M SAYING IT'S NOT MYSELF
THAT'S WANTING TO GET INSIDE.

IT'S THIS PACKAGE
FOR SENOR RAMIREZ.

NOW, WILL YOU BE
GIVING IT TO HIM?

YES, MISS.

A YOUNG LADY LEFT THIS FOR YOU.

"DEAR CARLOS, THIS IS MY
HEART TICKING FOR YOU."

HMM. THAT'S NICE.

♪ [watch chiming]

CARLOS, THE WATCH
BELONGED TO HER FATHER.

IT WAS THE ONLY THING
HE MANAGED TO LEAVE HER.

HE WON IT IN A CONTEST OR
SOMETHING. JIGGING ON THE SUNDAY?

I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS FROM
BRIDGETT. PLEASE TAKE IT BACK.

AND HUMILIATE HER? GOOD GRIEF.

WELL, YOU THINK OF
SOMETHING, SISTER.

I NEED A $5 WATCH,
LIKE I NEED A BROKEN SKI.

OH, YOU AND YOUR FATAL CHARM.
DID YOU HAVE TO LAY IT ON SO THICK?

I... I MEAN, IT'S SO EASY FOR
YOU. IT JUST COMES BUBBLING OUT.

BUT, THIS TIME, YOU... YOU
BUBBLED ON THE WRONG GIRL.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
IT WAS MY FAULT.

NOW THE POINT IS, HOW
DO WE GET OUT OF THIS?

WELL, YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO TALK TO HER.

THAT'S IT. TAKE HER
TO LUNCH TOMORROW.

EXPLAIN THE DIFFERENCES IN
YOUR AGES. CAN'T YOU TELL HER?

CARLOS, IT HAS TO COME FROM YOU.
YOU'RE THE ONE SHE HAS THE CRUSH ON.

BUT I HAVE A LUNCH
DATE TOMORROW.

CARLOS,

THIS GIRL STANDS TO WIN A SCHOLARSHIP
TO ST. PATRICK'S COLLEGE IN DUBLIN.

BUT SHE HAS TO HAVE HER THESIS
FINISHED AND IN THE MAIL BY MONDAY

ELSE SHE'S AUTOMATICALLY
DISQUALIFIED.

TODAY SHE PUT LOS ANGELES
IN ARIZONA BECAUSE OF YOU.

[sighing]

CARLOS.

LUNCH TOMORROW?

I THINK I CAN.

YOUR OFFICE?

I'LL BE THERE.

GOODBYE.

OK, GOODBYE.

HELLO, CARLOS.
I'M NOT LATE, AM I?

BRIDGETT?

IS THAT YOU?

HOW DO I LOOK?

IS MY LIGHT OUT FROM
UNDER THE BUSHEL?

YOU BETTER COME IN.

SIT DOWN, PLEASE.

IS SOMETHING THE MATTER?

UH, YES.

BRIDGETT, MY WORLD
AND YOUR WORLD

ARE NOT THE SAME WORLD.

OR COULD THEY EVER BE.

CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

WHAT WOULD YOU BE TRYING TO SAY?

WELL... [sighing]

WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS,

YOU'RE A YOUNG GIRL AND I'M,
UH, MUCH OLDER THAN YOU ARE.

NOW YOUR LIFE IS AHEAD OF
YOU. MINE IS MOSTLY BEHIND ME.

OH, BUT I DON'T MIND.

I'LL MAKE YOU YOUNG
AGAIN. NO, PLEASE.

W-WHAT YOU'RE
REALLY TRYING TO SAY IS

THAT YOU DON'T
LIKE ME. IS THAT IT?

[sighs]

NO, NO, IT'S NOT THAT.
IT'S NOT THAT AT ALL.

IT'S THAT, UH, I HAVE A PROBLEM
AND, UH, SISTER BERTRILLE...

CARLOS, DARLING, I
TOOK THE CHANCE...

AM I INTRUDING?

CANDY, THIS IS BRIDGETT FAULKNER,
A FRIEND FROM THE CONVENT.

THIS IS CANDY
CAIN. HI, BRIDGETT.

I GOT YOUR MESSAGE CANCELING OUR
LUNCH, BUT I DECIDED TO DROP BY ANYWAY,

(Candy) JUST IN CASE YOU GOT
RID OF YOUR LITTLE PROBLEM.

OH, HE'S GOTTEN RID OF IT, MISS
CAIN. DON'T WORRY, I'M GOING.

OH, AND I'LL BE HAVING
MY TIMEPIECE BACK.

[sighing]

AND DON'T YOU BE DEARING ME.

YOU NEVER LIKED ME.

YOU NEVER LIKED ME AT ALL.

IT WAS JUST PITY.
SISTER PUT YOU UP TO IT.

WELL, I DON'T WANT ANY
PITY FROM YOU. EVER!

AND DID YOU HAVE
TO SAY "CONVENT"?

[door closing]

OBVIOUSLY, I SAID
SOMETHING WRONG.

NO, IT'S JUST THAT I
DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING RIGHT.

WELL, MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BEST.

I BETTER PHONE IN THE RESULTS.

[knocking on door]

WHOEVER IT IS, I'LL
THANK YOU TO GO AWAY.

GOODNESS, IT'S
LIKE A TOMB IN HERE.

I'M DEAD, AREN'T I?

BRIDGETT, IF I SAID I WAS SORRY,

COULD WE DISCUSS THIS LIKE
REASONABLE HUMAN BEINGS?

I HAVE NOTHING TO
SAY TO YOU, SISTER.

WOULD YOU TALK TO CARLOS?

HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME.

ON THE CONTRARY. HE'S... HE'S GIVING A
PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT FOR HIS NIECE,

AND I'M SURE HE'D LOVE
FOR YOU TO BE THERE.

I'LL HAVE NONE OF HIS PITY.

OH, FOR PETE'S SAKE,
BRIDGETT, CARLOS DOESN'T

PITY YOU. HE LIKES
YOU. HE REALLY DOES.

WHY, HE GAVE YOU HIS FRIENDSHIP
FOR FREE. IT DIDN'T COST YOU ANYTHING.

AND YOU WERE THE ONE THAT
WENT JUMPING OFF THE DEEP END

WITH THE MUD PACKS
AND THE MINI SKIRTS.

WHO TOLD YOU
ABOUT THE MUD PACKS?

OH, BUCKTOOTH DID, DIDN'T HE?

IF ANY OF YOU HAD ANY COMMON
DECENCY, YOU'D JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.

UH, BRIDGETT, I... I DON'T WANT
ANY PITY FROM YOU EITHER.

STILL MAD, ISN'T SHE?

I'M AFRAID SO.

IT'S ALL THAT CARLOS
RAMIREZ'S FAULT.

TEACHING HER HOW TO DANCE
WITH HER EYES CLOSED. GOOD GRIEF.

JOEL, WHY DID YOU TELL ME ABOUT HER
NEGLECTING HER PAPERS IN THE FIRST PLACE?

WELL, I WISH I HADN'T.

WHY WAS IT SO IMPORTANT TO YOU?

BECAUSE, WELL...

I THOUGHT IF SHE COULD GET
INTO, UH, ST. PATRICK'S COLLEGE...

I COULD GET IN, TOO. THAT
WAY WE COULD BE TOGETHER.

I MEAN, AFTER ALL, WE'RE
ONLY 2 YEARS APART.

YOU REALLY CARE A LOT
ABOUT HER, DON'T YOU?

WHY DON'T YOU TELL HER HOW YOU
FEEL AND WHAT YOU DID AND WHY?

THEN SHE'D REALLY HATE ME. WELL,
AT LEAST YOU COULD GIVE IT A TRY.

NO, GOSH, I COULDN'T. I
WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO START.

WHY DON'T YOU START BY GIVING HER ONE OF
YOUR SEASHELLS TO COMPLETE HER COLLECTION?

LIKE THAT... THAT BIG
PINK ONE SHE LIKES.

YEAH.

ANY LUCK WITH BRIDGETT?

MMM-HMM, KEEP YOUR FINGERS
CROSSED. I THINK I'M ON THE RIGHT TRACK.

[birds chirping]

UH, BRIDGETT?

AND WHAT WILL YOU BE WANTING?

UH, THIS SHELL.

I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE
ONE LIKE IT, AND I HAVE 2.

SO I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE
IT TO FILL OUT YOUR COLLECTION.

SISTER SENT YOU OUT
HERE WITH THIS, DIDN'T SHE?

UH, IF YOU HOLD IT TO YOUR
EAR, YOU CAN HEAR WAVES.

OH, JUST KEEP IT
AND LEAVE ME BE.

UH, BRIDGETT, I'VE
GOT SOMETHING TO SAY.

JOEL BASCOMB, IF YOU DON'T... AND
I'M GOING TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST

NO MATTER HOW
IRISH AND MAD YOU GET.

I WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD
SISTER ABOUT YOUR GOOFING OFF.

THAT'S HOW IT ALL GOT STARTED,
SO DON'T GET MAD AT HER.

(Bridgett) WHAT
DID YOU DO IT FOR?

I WAS JEALOUS, I GUESS.

JEALOUS?

OF ME? WHO COULD BE?

ME COULD BE. I MEAN,
I KIND OF LIKE YOU.

[sighing]

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. YOU'RE JUST
SAYING IT TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER.

OH, GOSH, I MEAN IT. I
REALLY DO, BRIDGETT.

(Joel) I'VE ALWAYS LIKED YOU.

I MEAN, THE OTHER KIDS ARE
OK. YOU AND I ARE DIFFERENT.

WE LIKE THE SAME THINGS.

THERE'S NOBODY IN THE WORLD,
EXCEPT YOU. AT LEAST FOR ME.

WELL, NOW I'VE SAID IT, YOU'VE
GOT EVERY RIGHT TO HATE ME.

I HATE MYSELF.

(Bridgett) OH, JOEL? WHAT?

IF CARLOS HAD A PARTY TOMORROW
NIGHT, WOULD YOU BE GOING?

NO. WELL, WHY NOT?

WHO'D WANT TO GO WITH ME? I
CAN'T DANCE, AND I'VE GOT BUCKTEETH.

I'D GO WITH YOU.
THAT'S WHAT I...

YOU WOULD?

WELL, THAT IS IF YOU STILL
MEAN IT ABOUT THE SHELL.

HERE.

[Joel laughing]

I WAS JUST SAYING A
PRAYER, REVEREND MOTHER.

AND IT LOOKS LIKE
IT WAS ANSWERED.

OH, GOSH, I'VE GOT TO TELL CARLOS
HE'S GIVING A PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT.

A PARTY? EXCUSE ME,
REVEREND MOTHER.

♪ [music playing]

TO THE WEEKEND.

MMM.

IT'S REALLY TRUE, ISN'T IT?

YOU AND I, ALONE,
TOGETHER, ON YOUR YACHT.

WILD TURTLES
COULDN'T TEAR US APART.

SUNBATHING, FISHING,
HORSING AROUND.

[knocking on door]

OH, NO. WHAT IS IT?

A WILD TURTLE. HUH?

EXCUSE ME. I HOPE I'M NOT
INTERRUPTING ANYTHING,

BUT, UH, CARLOS, COULD YOU GIVE A
PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT FOR YOUR NIECE?

NO, HE CAN'T. HE'S GOING TO BE
HORSING AROUND WITH ME ON HIS YACHT.

AREN'T YOU, CARLOS,
DARLING? DARLING,

IN THESE LITTLE SITUATIONS WITH SISTER
BERTRILLE, I LEARNED NOT TO FIGHT IT.

JUST TO JOIN IN.

IT REALLY WON'T BE
ANY PROBLEM? NO.

♪ [band playing] HAVE FUN.

HI, THERE.

HI. HI. YOU'RE LATE.

I WAS TRYING TO MAKE IT UP TO
CANDY. IT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY.

HOW IS EVERYTHING GOING?

OH, I STEPPED ON YOUR
FOOT AGAIN. I'M QUITTING.

OH, NO. DON'T BE A QUITTER.

JUST RELAX, AND
LISTEN TO THE MUSIC.

MAYBE IF I CLOSED MY EYES.
JUST CLOSE YOUR MOUTH,

'CAUSE THE LIGHT'S
REFLECTING ON YOUR TEETH.

NOW THAT WASN'T SO
HARD, WAS IT? I CAN DANCE.

JOEL BASCOMB, SON OF MR. AND
MRS. ROBERT BASCOMB D'ASSISE,

CAN ACTUALLY, POSITIVELY DANCE.

WHY DON'T YOU ASK
JANET FOR THE NEXT ONE?

I THINK I WILL.

YOU BETTER FIND
BRIDGETT AND GET STARTED.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I FEEL LIKE A SCHOOL
BOY. (Bridgett) CARLOS.

HELLO, BRIDGETT.
IT'S A LOVELY PARTY,

AND I'M HAVING SUCH
A RARE, GOOD TIME.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO DANCE WITH ME?

WELL, I WOULD LIKE
THAT VERY MUCH.

YOU KNOW, I SHOULD BE
VERY ANGRY WITH YOU.

RUNNING OUT ON OUR LUNCH DATE.

IT WAS A TERRIBLE
TANTRUM, IT WAS.

IT'S WHAT ALL LITTLE
GIRLS GET INTO.

AND WHAT ARE YOU
NOW? A YOUNG LADY.

MORE THAN THAT.

A SMART YOUNG LADY?

MMM-MMM, STILL MORE. A SMART
AND BEAUTIFUL YOUNG LADY.

(Carlos) REMEMBER THAT.

JOEL, LOOK OUT! OPEN YOUR EYES!

[crashing]