The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 1, Episode 15 - The Dig In - full transcript

[barking]

[birds chirping]

(Jacqueline) ONE MEMORABLE
DAY, SISTER BERTRILLE SET OUT

ON A SORT OF ONE-WOMAN MISSION.

HER OBJECT WAS TO COLLECT AS
MANY INTERESTING ROCKS AS POSSIBLE

FOR THE CHILDREN IN
HER NATURE STUDY CLASS.

NOW, ANY DAY IN SISTER BERTRILLE'S
LIFE COULD NOT BE CALLED ORDINARY.

BUT THIS DAY TURNED OUT
TO BE MOST EXTRAORDINARY.

EVEN FOR SISTER BERTRILLE.

AND IT WAS A DAY SHE
WOULD NEVER FORGET

AS LONG AS SHE LIVED.



[grunts]

[Bertrille coughing]

(man) OH, BEAUTIFUL.
JUST BEAUTIFUL.

YOU REALLY FIXED
US UP JUST FINE.

WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT YOU
DID COME CHARGING AT ME.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU
EXPECT ME TO DO

WHEN YOU COME SNEAKING UP ON ME?

ASK ME... ASK YOU TO DANCE?

HEY, I WASN'T
SNEAKING UP ON YOU.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES, I
WAS LOOKING FOR ROCKS.

OH, YOU WERE LOOKING
FOR ROCKS? YES.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M A BOY SCOUT.

I WAS LOOKING FOR MY DEN MOTHER.



ARE YOU HURT?

NO, NO, I...

I USED TO ALWAYS
CARRY MY HEAD THIS WAY.

I SAID I WAS SORRY.

LOOK, WHY... WHY DID YOU HAVE
TO COME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

I TOLD YOU, I WAS
LOOKING FOR ROCKS.

MY NAME IS SISTER BERTRILLE
FROM THE CONVENT SAN TANCO.

OH, TERRIFIC.

LOOK, SISTER, IN
CASE YOU DON'T GET IT,

YOU AND I ARE
TRAPPED IN THIS PAD.

NOW, THERE ARE MORE ROCKS
THERE AND DIRT IN THAT ENTRANCE,

THEN... THEN COULD
FILL THE GRAND CANYON.

NOW, LOOK, IF YOU WANT TO JUMP
UP AND DOWN, AND SING HALLELUJAH

AND WELCOME THE GREAT
REWARD WITH OPEN ARMS,

JUST GO RIGHT AHEAD AND DO IT.

ME, I HAVE A NATURAL TENDENCY
TO GET JUST A LITTLE BIT NERVOUS

WHEN I KNOW I'M ABOUT TO
BE BURIED ALIVE, WITH A NUN.

OH, I'M STILL A NOVICE. I
WON'T BE A FULL-FLEDGED NUN...

SISTER, YOU AIN'T GOING TO BE
NOTHING EVER. DON'T YOU GET IT?

'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT
GONNA LIVE VERY LONG.

MAYBE WE CAN DIG OUR WAY OUT.

OH, SURE.

WITH... WITH WHAT,
HUH? WITH... WITH THIS?

YOU AND I ARE GOING TO END UP ROTTED
AND DECAYED JUST LIKE THAT BOARD.

DON'T YOU GET IT?

NONSENSE. WE'RE GOING
TO GET OUT OF HERE. OH.

THIS TUNNEL MUST LEAD SOMEPLACE.

OH. LOOK, SISTER, OK, YOU
WANNA GO LOOKING, YOU GO LOOK

AND IF YOU FIND CONEY ISLAND,

GIVE ME A WHISTLE AND
I'LL COME RUNNING, OK?

I DON'T PERSONALLY
CARE WHAT YOU DO.

I'M GOING TO HAVE A LOOK AROUND.

EXCUSE ME. HEY, WOULD...

THERE'S LIGHT IN
HERE. LOOK, UP THERE.

OH, I KNEW THERE'D
BE AN OPENING.

OH, I KNEW THERE
WOULD BE. I KNEW IT.

NOW, ISN'T THAT JUST DANDY?

NOW, HOW DO YOU SUGGEST
WE GET UP THERE, HUH? WE JUMP?

I COULD CLIMB ON YOUR SHOULDERS.

HOW TALL ARE YOU, HALF PORTION?

5 FEET. 5'2", WITH HEELS.

NUNS WEAR HEELS?

WELL, I WASN'T ALWAYS A NUN.

OH, I KEEP ON FORGETTING.
YOU'RE STILL A PLEDGE.

NOVICE. OK, NOVICE.
HAVE IT YOUR OWN WAY.

OK, NOVICE, HOW FAR
WOULD YOU SAY IT IS

FROM DOWN HERE TO UP THERE, HUH?

MMM, 15 FEET. 20.

OH. I'M 6 FEET. YOU'RE 5.

THAT LEAVES 9 FEET.

RIGHT.

WELL, AT LEAST WE
WON'T SUFFOCATE.

NO. NO, WE'LL JUST DIE OF
MALNUTRITION, THAT'S ALL.

THAT'S PESSIMISTIC THINKING.

ARE YOU GONNA GIVE ME
THE MIRACLE BIT NOW, SISTER?

THE "WE'LL GET SAVED AT
THE LAST MINUTE" PITCH?

BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, I DON'T WANT
TO HEAR IT. I DON'T BELIEVE IN MIRACLES.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?

I DON'T BELIEVE IN ANYTHING,
AND I DON'T BELIEVE IN ANYBODY.

AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR
ANY LECTURES NOW, PLEASE,

BECAUSE I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.

THOSE 9 LOUSY FEET
ARE GONNA GET ME BURIED

BENEATH 50 FEET OF ROCK AND DIRT

JUST BECAUSE A NOVICE NUN THROWS

A JUDO PASS AT ME AND THE
WHOLE SIDE OF A MINE CAVES IN.

OH, I CAN SEE IT NOW.

IN ABOUT 10 YEARS TIME,
THERE'LL BE A COUPLE OF LINES

ON THE BACK PAGE OF
THE LOCAL THROW SHEET.

QUOTE: "PROSPECTORS
LOOKING FOR GOLD

"FIND THE REMAINS OF A NUN

"AND A YOUNG MAN
NAMED BILL WATKINS

REPORTED MISSING BACK IN 1967."

WATKINS. WATKINS.

I HAD A TEACHER BY THE
NAME OF WATKINS ONCE.

MARY WATKINS, THAT WAS HER NAME.

SHE WAS MY SCIENCE TEACHER.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
SHE HAD THIS THEORY

THAT WE'RE ALL
JUST MIRROR IMAGES.

THAT WE NEVER REALLY
EXIST ON THIS EARTH.

YEAH, WELL, I WOULD
LIKE TO TRADE PLACES

WITH MY MIRROR IMAGE RIGHT NOW.

EXCEPT WITH MY LUCK, SOMEBODY
WOULD PROBABLY BREAK IT.

MAYBE YOU'RE RELATED, HUH?

NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY RELATIVES.

YOU HAD A MOTHER
AND FATHER, DIDN'T YOU?

SO I HEARD.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

TRYING TO ATTRACT
SOME ATTENTION.

YOU SEE, MY STATION
WAGON IS PARKED...

SISTER, HONEY, I HATE TO BURST

THAT BEAUTIFUL BUBBLE OF
OPTIMISM THAT YOU'VE GOT,

BUT WE ARE 50 MILES
FROM NOWHERE,

AND NOBODY'S GONNA
COME LOOKING FOR US HERE.

MAYBE ONE OF THOSE
PROSPECTORS WILL SHOW UP EARLY.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO?

MAYBE I SHOULD WRITE A NOTE AND
ATTACH IT TO ONE OF THOSE ROCKS.

AND THEN THROW IT UP THERE.
WHAT KIND OF A MESSAGE?

HOW ABOUT, "ROSES ARE
RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE,

BILL WATKINS AND I
ARE WAITING FOR YOU"?

YOU'RE A LAUGH A
MINUTE, AREN'T YOU?

WELL, IT'S BETTER THAN CRYING.

BESIDES, I SNEEZE WHEN I CRY.

YOU SNEEZE WHEN YOU CRY?

YEAH.

KIND OF, UH, AN ALLERGIC
REACTION TO WEAKNESS, I GUESS.

NOW, WHO TOLD YOU
THAT? YOUR PSYCHIATRIST?

MY OWN INTERPRETATION.

HAVE YOU GOT A PENCIL? NO.

SO, JUST FORGET ABOUT
THE MESSAGE, HUH?

WELL, THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS
HELP ME THROW SOME OF THESE ROCKS.

HOW DO YOU KNOW? YOURS
MIGHT BE THE LUCKY ROCK.

OK.

[grunting]

OH, NO, NOT THAT
ONE. THAT'S THE ONE...

[groaning]

THAT'S A PRETTY BAD CUT.

GOOD, MAYBE I'LL BLEED TO DEATH.

I HAVE A FIRST AID KIT IN THE...

OH, THAT DOESN'T
DO US MUCH GOOD.

WELL, NOW, COME TO THINK
OF IT, I'VE GOT MY OWN FIRST AID.

(Bertrille) OH, GOOD.

YEAH.

THE VERY BEST
FIRST AID THERE IS.

OH, GREAT.

OK, I'M VERY GLAD YOU
DECIDED TO BE SOCIABLE.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL. IT'S
GONNA BE A LONG, COLD WINTER.

HOW MUCH?

ABOUT 2 FINGERS.

WILL WONDERS NEVER CEASE?

THAT'S GOOD.

THANK YOU. NOW,
WILL YOU LEAN OVER?

WHAT FOR? I'M GONNA
POUR THIS ON YOUR CUT.

HEY, NOT WITH MY
BOURBON YOU DON'T.

OH, YES, I WILL.
OVER MY DEAD BODY.

[groaning] YES.

OH, I'M SORRY. IT HURTS
ME MORE THAN IT DOES YOU.

NO, IT DIDN'T. THAT
WAS MY BOURBON.

WELL, YOU WANT TO GET
AN INFECTION IN THAT CUT?

OH, YOU REALLY ARE TOO MUCH.

WE'RE GONNA DIE IN
THIS DISASTER AREA

AND YOU'RE WORRIED
ABOUT A MINOR INFECTION.

WE ARE NOT GOING TO DIE

BECAUSE WE'RE GOING
TO FIND A WAY OUT OF HERE.

AH!

THE LAST TIME SOMEBODY
WENT "AH" LIKE THAT,

I WAS SITTING IN
A DENTIST'S CHAIR

AND I HAD A GAS MASK SUDDENLY
PLOPPED OVER MY NOSE.

NEXT THING I KNEW, I WAS
MISSING 2 WISDOM TEETH.

IT COULD HAVE
BEEN YOUR APPENDIX.

HEY, DO YOU FEEL UP
TO GIVING ME A HAND?

DOING WHAT?

WELL, I THOUGHT WE
COULD BUILD A LADDER.

WITH WHAT?

WELL, THERE'S PLENTY OF
WOOD AROUND HERE AND BOARDS.

AND WHAT DO WE DO FOR NAILS?

WE DON'T NEED ANY.

OH, NO.

OH, THIS IS SOME
KIND OF A HAPPENING.

YOU KNOW, WHAT
REALLY TOOK PLACE WAS,

WHEN THAT... WHEN THAT
OPENING FELL IN ON ME

I WAS KNOCKED OUT
FOR KEEPS. I'M NOT ALIVE.

I'M IN PURGATORY AND
YOU'RE MY PUNISHMENT.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
WE'RE BOTH ALIVE.

HAVE YOU GOT A KNIFE?

SURE. IN THE DUFFLE
BAG. HELP YOURSELF.

OK. THANK YOU. NOW,
LISTEN, YOU CAN GATHER UP

SOMETHING TO USE FOR TIES,
SOME OF THAT OLD BURLAP...

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. I'LL GET IT.

I SAID I'D GET IT.

YOU WERE LOOKING FOR THIS?

YES. THANK YOU.

WELL, LET'S GET TO WORK.

THIS SHOULD FINISH
THE LAST RUNG. YEAH.

ALL WE NEED NOW IS FOR SOMEONE TO
FLY BY LOW ENOUGH TO SEE OUR SIGNAL.

YOU KNOW WHAT? WHAT?

I THINK THE SHERIFF'S HELICOPTER

FLIES OVER THIS WAY
EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.

NOW WHAT DO YOU MEAN
BY THAT CRACK, HUH?

DOES IT HAVE TO MEAN SOMETHING?

[exclaims]

YOU'RE JUST BUSTIN' TO ASK A LOT
OF QUESTIONS, AREN'T YOU, SISTER?

WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

IF THERE'S ONE THING I
CAN'T STAND, IT'S A NOSY NUN.

AND I DON'T LIKE PLAYING ANY
CAT-AND-MOUSE GAMES EITHER.

SO I'D BETTER SPELL
IT OUT FOR YOU.

THE "P" DOESN'T STAND
FOR PERSONALITY.

NO, IT CERTAINLY DOESN'T.

I SPENT 3 MONTHS IN
THAT CRUMMY DUMP,

AND LAST NIGHT I SAW MY
CHANCE TO CUT OUT AND I TOOK IT.

NOW, TO YOU, THAT SHOULD
MEAN JUST ONE THING:

IF WE EVER DO GET
OUT OF THIS PLACE,

YOU JUST TEAR UP OUR
FORMAL INTRODUCTION, OK?

YOU JUST FORGET
THAT YOU EVER KNEW ME.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I
WANT TO REMEMBER YOU?

HEY, YOU SHOULDN'T TALK
TO ME THAT WAY, SISTER.

NOW, HOW DO YOU KNOW
WHAT KIND OF A GUY I AM?

I MEAN, I COULD BE
SOME KIND OF A PSYCHO

DOING TIME FOR MURDER,
FOR ALL YOU KNOW.

AREN'T YOU JUST A
LITTLE BIT AFRAID? NOPE.

WELL, YOU SHOULD BE.

I MEAN, YOU COULD PUT THE FINGER
ON ME AND SEND ME BACK THERE

AND I WOULDN'T LIKE
THAT ONE LITTLE BIT.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
BE AFRAID OF ME THEN.

HEY, I DON'T THINK YOU GET IT.

UH, IT WOULD BE TO MY
ADVANTAGE TO SEE TO IT

THAT YOU NEVER GOT OUT OF HERE.

NOW, ALL I WOULD HAVE TO
DO IS SAY THAT YOU GOT CAUGHT

IN THAT SLIDE BACK THERE AND
EVERYBODY WOULD BELIEVE ME.

YES, YOU'RE RIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

I'M GONNA HELP YOU
PUT UP THIS LADDER.

KEEP GOING NOW. OK.

[ladder creaking] YOU'RE
DOING JUST FINE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS
REMINDS ME OF? WHAT?

THE FIRST TIME I CLIMBED
UP TO MY TREE HOUSE.

IT WASN'T QUITE THIS HIGH,
BUT IT SEEMED THIS HIGH.

I GUESS I WAS ABOUT 5 YEARS OLD.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?

NEVER MIND THE YAK-YAK, HUH?

I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT
HAPPENED THAT FIRST TIME

WHEN I CLIMBED UP
TO MY TREE HOUSE?

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

HEY, ARE YOU HURT? NO, I'M OK.

I GUESS IT WASN'T A VERY
GOOD IDEA AFTER ALL.

HEY, YOU ARE HURT.

NO. REALLY, I'M NOT HURT.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
YOUR WRIST IS CUT.

IT'S JUST A SCRATCH. LET
ME TAKE A LOOK AT THAT.

NO, IT'S OK. COME HERE NOW.

ONE THING I CAN'T
STAND IS A NOBLE DAME.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

JUST ADMINISTER
A LITTLE FIRST AID.

OH, NO, YOU
DON'T. OH, YES, I DO.

YOU KNOW, WHAT'S
SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE, ETC.

YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO GET EVEN.

RIGHT.

[groaning]

HURTS, HUH?

WELL, AT LEAST THE
GERMS WILL DIE HAPPY.

HA, HA.

NOW, LET ME TAKE A
GOOD LOOK AT THAT.

YOU SHOULD HAVE ABOUT
5 STITCHES PUT IN THERE.

FLEX YOUR FINGERS.
NO, FLEX THEM. YEAH.

NO TENDONS CUT.
NOW SEPARATE THEM.

THAT'S GOOD.

AND THE MEDIAN NERVE
ISN'T SEVERED EITHER.

THAT'S PERFECT.
YOU MUST LIVE RIGHT.

HOW COME YOU KNOW SO
MUCH ABOUT THIS TYPE OF THING?

I USED TO PLAY DOCTOR-NURSIE
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY.

NO, SERIOUSLY, DID YOU
EVER STUDY MEDICINE?

YEAH, I TOOK A FLING AT IT.

WELL, I CAN'T THINK OF
A BETTER PROFESSION.

OH, LISTEN, SISTER, THERE'S NOTHING
AT ALL NOBLE ABOUT MY INTENTIONS.

I WANTED TO BE A DOC
BECAUSE IF YOU MAKE THE GRADE,

IT PAYS REAL GOOD.

BUT I OVERLOOKED ONE THING.

IT TAKES TIME

AND MONEY JUST TO GET STARTED.

[scoffs]

LOTS OF TIME,

AND LOTS, LOTS OF MONEY.

WELL, OTHERS DO IT.

YEAH, WELL, OTHERS DON'T
GET THE BAD BREAKS I DO.

OH, TELL ME MORE. I
JUST ADORE SOAP OPERAS.

OH, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT
THE REAL SIDE OF LIFE, SISTER?

YOU LIVE IN A LOCKED-IN WORLD

OF SYMBOLS AND STATUES
AND CHURCH CHAPELS.

SURE, I WANTED TO BE A DOC.

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE ANY CASH.

SO I DID EVERYTHING,

FROM RUNNING ERRANDS TO
FRIENDS OF MINE WHO WERE BOOKIES,

TO STEALING HUBCAPS...

WELL, QUITE A FEW OTHER
THINGS YOU REALLY WOULDN'T DIG.

BUT I SAVED UP $3,000.

GONNA BE A BIG MAN.

GONNA BE WILLIAM WATKINS, M.D.

ENTER MY OLD MAN.

COULD SMELL MONEY
CLEAR ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

TRACKED ME DOWN.

HE SAID HE FELT THAT
HE OWED ME SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW, FOR RUNNING
OUT ON ME WHEN I WAS A KID,

AND HE HAD A BIG DEAL COOKING.

HE COULD DOUBLE MY $3,000.

YEAH, WELL, MY OLD MAN,

HE TOOK A POWDER AND
WITH HIM WENT THE MONEY.

SO I NEEDED CASH.
GUY COMES UP TO ME.

HE WANTS A PAIR OF SHOES
DELIVERED DOWN HERE TO PUERTO RICO.

ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WEAR
THOSE SHOES DOWN HERE,

DELIVER THEM TO
A CERTAIN COBBLER,

GET THE HEELS FIXED. THAT'S ALL.

FOR THAT I WAS TO GET $5,000.

MUST HAVE BEEN SOME SHOES.

YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED
HOW MANY STONES

CAN FIT INTO THE HEELS
OF ONE PAIR OF SHOES.

YOU LIKE SOAP OPERAS?

HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?

I NEVER MADE IT TO THAT COBBLER.

I GOT PICKED UP AT THE DOCK

AND SENT TO DETENTION
CAMP FOR A 6-MONTH STRETCH.

WELL, I SAT IT OUT 3 MONTHS.

YESTERDAY A GUY COMES UP TO ME.

HE'S GOT A FRIEND IN
NASSAU, OWNS A CASINO.

HE NEEDS A DEALER,
LIKE, RIGHT NOW.

SO, I CUT OUT.

BUT SOMETHING CAME
UP. I DIDN'T MAKE IT.

THAT SOMETHING WAS YOU, SISTER.

NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I THINK
I'M GONNA GRAB MYSELF 40 WINKS.

IF ANYBODY DROPS BY,

OFFER THEM A DRINK, HUH?

[wind howling]

(Watkins) UH, SISTER,

W-WOULD YOU MIND TELLING
ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

WELL, I WOULDN'T
KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN.

YEAH, WELL, UH,
JUST TAKE YOUR TIME.

MAYBE IT'LL COME TO YOU, HMM?

WELL, YOU SEE,

I... I HEARD THE WIND
BLOWING UP ABOVE. UH-HUH.

AND... AND I FELT THAT
THERE WAS A BREEZE IN HERE.

OH, WELL, IF YOU'RE COLD
YOU CAN USE MY SWEATER.

NO, NO, I WAS TRYING
TO CATCH A DRAFT.

YOU WERE? WHERE WAS
IT GOING? OH, NEVER MIND.

NOW, LOOK, I ASKED YOU A SIMPLE
QUESTION AND I WANT AN ANSWER.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING THERE?

WELL, IF I TOLD YOU,
YOU'D THINK I WAS CRAZY.

NOW, OF COURSE I WOULDN'T.

WELL, I, I WAS TRYING
TO GET AIRBORNE.

AIRBORNE?

YEAH. I WAS TRYING TO FLY.

OH.

I DO FLY, YOU KNOW.
YES, OF COURSE.

I MEAN FLY, REALLY FLY. FLY.

LIKE AN AIRPLANE.
WELL, OF COURSE YOU DO.

AND YOU MUST TAKE
QUITE A FEW FALLS, TOO.

SOMETIMES. NOT
OFTEN. UH-HUH. UH-HUH.

AND... AND WHERE DO YOU
USUALLY DO... DO THIS FLYING?

OH, MOST ANYPLACE. I...

I USUALLY TAKE OFF FROM THE
CONVENT BALCONY, YOU KNOW,

AND THEN I USUALLY JUST
FLY AROUND A FEW TIMES,

AND THEN I JUST GO.

BUT IT... IT DEPENDS ON
HOW GUSTY THE WIND IS.

OH, YEAH, NOW. SO,
I SHOULD IMAGINE.

YOU SEE, I, I DON'T
WEIGH VERY MUCH AND,

AND... AND MY CORNET ACTS
LIKE THE WINGS OF A BIRD

AND THAT'S HOW I FLY.

UH-HUH.

OH, I KNEW YOU
WOULDN'T BELIEVE ME.

NO, NO, BUT I DO. I
DO. I DO BELIEVE YOU.

[crying] ALL I WANTED TO DO
WAS JUST FIND SOME WIND

SO THAT I COULD FLY
AND GET OUT OF HERE.

OH, WHAT'S THE USE?

HEY. HEY, SISTER, NOW

NOW, COME ON, DON'T
YOU BREAK UP NOW.

I WAS COUNTING ON YOU
TO GET US OUT OF HERE.

AND... AND IF YOU
BREAK UP, I DON'T KNOW

[sneezing] WHAT I'M GONNA...

HEY, AW, DON'T
CRY. NOW, COME ON.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
YOU'RE KIND OF CUTE AT THAT.

I MEAN, YOU'RE KOOKY AS ALL GET
OUT, BUT YOU ARE KIND OF CUTE.

YOU KNOW,

THAT'S THE FIRST NICE THING YOU'VE
SAID TO ME SINCE WE'VE BEEN IN HERE.

I KNOW. I HAVEN'T
BEEN MUCH HELP,

AND IT'S BEEN A VERY
ROUGH DAY FOR YOU.

[sniffing]

I'VE GOT IT. I'VE GOT JUST THE
THING TO TAKE YOUR MIND OFF IT.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO
SEE ME DO A CARD TRICK, HUH?

YOU HAVE CARDS?

NO, BUT I DON'T NEED THEM.

YOU DO TRICKS WITHOUT CARDS?

MMM-HMM. THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT MAKES US ALIKE. HOW'S THAT?

WELL, YOU DO TRICKS
WITHOUT CARDS,

AND I FLY WITHOUT A PLANE.

OH, NOW, LOOK, UH,
I REALLY WANT YOU

TO KEEP YOUR MIND
AWAY FROM THAT.

JUST... JUST FOR
THE TIME BEING, OK?

OK. NOW...

HERE WE GO. NOW.

OK, NOW, PICK A CARD.

ANY CARD? ANY CARD
AT ALL. 52 CHOICES.

NOW, LOOK AT IT.
DON'T LET ME SEE IT.

GOT IT? GOT IT.

OK, PUT IT BACK IN THE DECK.

YOU WON'T PEEK?
NO. SCOUT'S HONOR.

OK. OK, NOW.

WHAT WAS YOUR CARD?

WELL, YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO TELL ME.

OH, NO, NO, YOU'VE GOT TO TELL
ME. THAT'S PART OF THIS TRICK.

7 OF HEARTS.

7 OF

HEARTS.

7 OF HEARTS.

THAT'S RIGHT.

IT WAS A MARKED CARD.

OH, NO, THAT WOULD BE CHEATING.

WELL, HOW'D YOU DO IT?

THAT I CAN'T TELL YOU.
THAT'S PROFESSIONAL ETHICS.

CAN I TRY? HELP YOURSELF.

OK.

[imitating shuffling of cards]

♪ [humming]

I'VE GOT IT. WE'LL BUILD A FIRE.

WE'LL BUILD A FIRE? YES.

IN HERE? RIGHT.

LOOK, I TOLD YOU IF YOU WERE
COLD, YOU CAN HAVE MY SWEATER.

I AM NOT COLD.

WHAT ARE YOU? SOME
KIND OF PYROMANIAC?

NO. I WANT TO BUILD A FIRE
TO GET US OUT OF HERE.

LOOK, YOU CANNOT
BUILD A FIRE IN HERE.

BECAUSE IF YOU
BUILD A FIRE IN HERE,

WE'RE GONNA BURN UP
ALL OF THIS LOVELY OXYGEN.

AND WE WOULDN'T WANT
TO DO THAT NOW, WOULD WE?

OH, DON'T BE SILLY.

ME, SILLY.

FIRE CREATES DRAFT.

IF I GET A STRONG ENOUGH DRAFT,

I CAN FLY OUT OF
HERE AND GET HELP.

YOU WILL ASPHYXIATE
US. THAT'S WHAT YOU'LL DO.

THERE'S A VERY SIMPLE PRINCIPLE
OF AERODYNAMICS INVOLVED HERE,

HAVING TO DO WITH CURRENTS
OF AIR AND LAWS OF MOTION.

YEAH. THERE IS A VERY SIMPLE
PRINCIPLE OF INSANITY HERE!

PLEASE DO NOT SHOUT.

I AM NOT SHOUTING!

NOW, YOU'RE NOT
GONNA BUILD A FIRE HERE.

I CERTAINLY AM. YOU
CERTAINLY ARE NOT.

AND THE REASON THAT YOU'RE
NOT... THE REASON THAT YOU'RE NOT

IS BECAUSE I HAVE
GOT THE MATCHES.

[sighing]

GIVE ME THOSE
MATCHES. OH, NO. NO, NO.

I WANT THE MATCHES.

NO. LOOK, SISTER NOW, YOU
COME ONE STEP CLOSER TO ME...

[stuttering] I'M SORRY,
BUT... YOU'LL WHAT?

IF YOU COME ONE STEP CLOSER
TO ME I'LL... SO HELP ME, I'LL...

YOU'LL WHAT? I'LL LET YOU
HAVE IT. I'LL LET YOU HAVE IT.

I WOULDN'T DO THAT
IF I WERE YOU, CHARLIE.

YOU DIDN'T DO SO WELL
ON THE FIRST ENCOUNTER.

THAT WAS A SNEAK ATTACK.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR
TROUBLE IS, WILLIAM WATKINS?

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT.

YOU'D RATHER SIT
ON YOUR DUFFLE BAG

AND BEEF ABOUT YOUR
BAD LUCK BECAUSE IT'S EASY.

AND EVERY TIME SOMETHING GOES
WRONG, YOU BLAME IT ON SOMEONE ELSE.

OK. OK.

THE GOOD BOOK SAYS
ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

BUT IT DOESN'T SAY SIT
THERE ON A VELVET PILLOW

AND THEY'LL BRING IT TO YOU.

OK. OK.

YOU WANNA HAVE A MIRACLE,
I'LL SHOW YOU A MIRACLE.

BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BELIEVE
IN SOMETHING FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE.

AND THAT SOMETHING IS ME.

NOW I'M COMING
AFTER THOSE MATCHES

AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STOP ME.

[grunting]

GIVE UP?

OK, SISTER. YOU WIN.

HAVE YOUR FIRE. BUILD IT.
BURN THE WHOLE PLACE UP.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO
ANYWAY, IT MIGHT AS WELL...

MIGHT AS WELL BE IN FLAMES.

MATCHES, PLEASE.

THANK YOU.

WELL, I'LL TAKE OFF ANY
MINUTE NOW. MMM-HMM.

YEAH, WELL, I'LL HAVE THE
BAND PLAY ANCHORS AWAY.

ONE THING. WHEN WE'RE OUT
OF HERE, PROMISE ME SOMETHING.

OH, IF WE GET OUT OF HERE,
I'LL PROMISE YOU ANYTHING.

PROMISE ME YOU WON'T TELL
ANYBODY ABOUT MY FLYING.

OH, SISTER, BELIEVE
ME, THAT IS ONE THING

I WILL NEVER MENTION
A WORD OF TO ANYBODY.

YOU STILL DON'T
BELIEVE I CAN DO IT.

WELL, I CAN ALWAYS USE A LAUGH.

HEY, DON'T FORGET
TO PUT OUT THE FIRE.

OK.

[breathing heavily]

IF ANYBODY'S LISTENING...

(Bertrille) YOU STILL THERE?

SORRY I TOOK SO LONG,
BUT I HAD TO GO FIND A ROPE.

COME ON UP. I HAVE IT
ANCHORED TO THE STATION WAGON.

IT'LL HOLD.

WELL, I GUESS I'LL
BE SHOVING OFF.

WOULD YOU LIKE A LIFT?

NO, THANKS. NO.

I DON'T THINK I'M GOING
THE WAY YOU'RE GOING.

OH. GOOD LUCK.

THAT'S ALL? JUST GOOD LUCK?

NO LECTURES? NO
LAST-MINUTE SERMONS?

NO. BUT IF YOU EVER
WANT A JOB IN SAN JUAN,

I KNOW SOMEBODY
WHO CAN HELP YOU.

WELL, THANK YOU.
I'LL REMEMBER THAT.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, SISTER?

YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON WHO
EVER PLAYED IT STRAIGHT WITH ME.

AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING ELSE?

I GOT THE FEELING THAT
MY LUCK HAS CHANGED.

I... I FEEL FREE. I DON'T KNOW
HOW IT HAPPENED, BUT I'M FREE.

MAYBE JUST BECAUSE SOMEBODY
THINKS I'M WORTH SAVING AFTER ALL.

GOODBYE, DR. WATKINS.

BYE.

[birds chirping]

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

UM, THERE'S A HIGHWAY UP
THE ROAD A COUPLE OF MILES.

MAYBE I COULD RIDE PART OF
THE WAY WITH YOU AFTER ALL.

GOOD. OK.

YOU WANT TO DRIVE? OH, SURE.

UH, JUST PUSH THAT BUTTON.

[engine starting]

UH,

ON SECOND THOUGHT, I
MIGHT AS WELL GO ALL THE WAY.