The Flying Nun (1967–1970): Season 1, Episode 10 - With Love from Irving - full transcript
Sister Bertrille rescues a pelican which is trying to fly but has an injury. She nurses the bird back to health, but the pelican seems content to say with Sister Bertrille.
[dog barking]
[glass shattering]
(Jacqueline) IT WAS SPRING
IN SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO.
THE SUN WAS SHINING,
THE TRADE WINDS WERE BLOWING,
THE WEATHER WAS
IDEAL FOR FLYING.
FOR SOME.
IT WAS A PERFECT DAY.
AT ANY RATE, IT
STARTED OUT THAT WAY.
HOW THIS DAY ENDED
IS SOMETHING ELSE.
[waves crashing]
[squawking]
OH, IT'S GOT TO BE
HERE SOMEPLACE.
NOW, IF IT FELL DIRECTLY DOWN,
ALLOWING FOR WIND,
AIR SPEED, DRIFT...
[Pelican squawking]
UH, HI!
[squawking]
WHAT'S A NICE BIRD LIKE YOU
DOING HERE ALL BY HIMSELF?
WHY AREN'T YOU OUT PLAYING WITH THE
OTHER PELICANS ON A DAY LIKE THIS, HUH?
[squawks] YOU OK?
YOU LOOK A LITTLE
PEAKED AROUND THE GILLS.
AH, YOU BRUISED
YOUR LEG, DIDN'T YOU?
WELL, I'LL FIX IT UP FOR YOU.
[squawks] JUST HOLD STILL NOW.
THIS IS GONNA HURT ME A
LOT MORE THAN IT IS YOU.
AH. HOLD STILL.
[squawks]
OK.
THERE YOU ARE. AS GOOD AS NEW.
[squawks]
AH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO THANK ME.
I ONLY DID WHAT ANYONE WOULD DO.
[bell tolling]
OH, GOSH. I GOTTA HURRY.
SEE YOU LATER. SO LONG, IRVING.
DON'T TAKE ANY WOODEN FISH.
[squawking]
(Jacqueline) AND THUS IT WAS
THAT ON THIS
BEAUTIFUL DAY IN SPRING,
IRVING FELL IN LOVE.
(Jacqueline) SISTER BERTRILLE'S
BRIEF ENCOUNTER WITH IRVING
DELAYED TAKE OFF
AND LESS THAN GALE-FORCE WINDS
BROUGHT HER BACK
BEHIND SCHEDULE.
MEANWHILE, WE WERE ASSEMBLED
TO MEET A VERY IMPORTANT GUEST
ARRIVING FOR VERY
IMPORTANT REASONS.
[birds chirping]
WELCOME TO THE CONVENT
SAN TANCO, FATHER SWEENEY.
THANK YOU, REVEREND MOTHER.
WELL, I HOPE MY VISIT
WILL NOT INCONVENIENCE
ANYBODY TOO MUCH.
NO, NOT AT ALL.
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET,
UH, UH, SISTER JACQUELINE.
IT'S MY PLEASURE, FATHER.
PLEASED TO MEET
YOU, SISTER JACQUELINE.
SISTER SIXTO.
HOW DO YOU DO, SISTER. FATHER.
NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO PRESENT
SOME OF MY YOUNG NOVICES TO YOU.
SISTER ANA, MY SECRETARY.
SISTER ANA.
UH, SISTER MARGUERITA.
HOW DO YOU DO,
SISTER MARGUERITA?
[leaves rustling] AND...
(Bertrille) SORRY I'M
LATE, REVEREND MOTHER,
BUT I TOOK A SHORTCUT AND
GOT CAUGHT IN A DOWNDRAFT.
WHOOPS. EXCUSE ME.
THIS IS SISTER BERTRILLE.
HOW DO YOU DO, FATHER?
DOWNDRAFT?
ARE YOU A PILOT,
SISTER BERTRILLE?
WHO ME?
(Rev. Mother) SISTER BERTRILLE
IS INTERESTED IN FLYING
AND, UH, SHE USES THE
TERMINOLOGY FROM TIME TO TIME.
YOU MAY FIND HER USE OF ENGLISH
A LITTLE MORE COLORFUL
THAN MOST NOVICES.
SO I SEE.
UH, SHALL WE GO IN, FATHER?
OUR, UH, ACCOMMODATIONS
HERE ARE NOT LUXURIOUS
BUT, UH, YOU WILL FIND
THEM, I TRUST, ADEQUATE.
I'M SURE I WILL,
REVEREND MOTHER.
IT APPEARS TO ME YOU
HAVE A BEAUTIFUL AND...
VERY PEACEFUL PLACE HERE.
YES, IT IS VERY BEAUTIFUL.
AND, I HOPE, PEACEFUL.
YOU PULLED A BONE THAT
TIME, SISTER BERTRILLE.
BONER, SISTER.
I DON'T GET IT. WHAT'S
THE BIG EXCITEMENT?
WHO'S THE FATHER?
HE'S A BIG WHALE.
WHEEL. FATHER SWEENEY
IS THE ADMINISTRATOR FROM
THE NEWLY MERGED COLLEGES
OF SAINTS BERNARD AND BONIFACE.
THEY'RE GOING CO-EDUCATIONAL
AND THE REVEREND MOTHER WILL
BE IN CHARGE OF HUNDREDS OF GIRLS.
SHE'S TO HEAD THE DEN OF WOMEN.
THERE'S A RUMOR TO THE EFFECT
THAT SHE'S A CANDIDATE
FOR THE DEAN OF WOMEN.
(Ana) IT'S SUCH A BIG HONOR.
I STILL DON'T GET IT.
WELL, APPARENTLY
FATHER SWEENEY IS HERE
TO INTERVIEW AND OBSERVE
THE REVEREND MOTHER,
TO SEE IF SHE QUALIFIES
FOR THE POSITION.
YOU MEAN SHE MIGHT
LEAVE SAN TANCO?
WELL, THAT ALL DEPENDS ON
HOW FATHER SWEENEY EVALUATES
HER IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS.
AND US.
(Jacqueline) SO I MIGHT
SUGGEST, SISTER,
YOU CURTAIL YOUR EXTRACURRICULAR
ACTIVITIES TEMPORARILY.
IT'S OUR RESPONSIBILITY
TO SEE THAT
THE REVEREND MOTHER
LOOKS AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE.
OH, DON'T WORRY,
SISTER JACQUELINE.
I'LL DO EVERYTHING I CAN.
THAT'S WHAT WORRIES ME.
COME ON.
(Jacqueline) WELL, SISTER
BERTRILLE WAS CERTAINLY AWARE
OF THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION.
UNFORTUNATELY,
NO ONE TOLD IRVING.
[squawking]
SISTER BERTRILLE,
I BELIEVE IT IS YOUR
TURN TO SAY GRACE.
OF COURSE, REVEREND MOTHER.
WE ASK, OH, LORD, THAT
YOU BLESS THIS FOOD
AND THAT OUR HUMBLE
PLATES BE FILLED WITH...
[dishes clattering]
[Irving squawking]
IRVING!
SISTER BERTRILLE'S PRAYERS ARE
ALWAYS ANSWERED, FATHER SWEENEY.
AND THIS IS OUR CHAPEL, FATHER.
RIGHT NOW OUR
NOVICES ARE CONCLUDING
A SILENT HOUR OF PRAYER.
TELL ME, REVEREND MOTHER,
DID YOU EVER HAVE ANY PROBLEM
OF DISCIPLINE WITH THE NOVICES?
WELL, OUR RULES ARE
VERY STRICT, FATHER.
GENERALLY SPEAKING, I
HAVE VERY FEW PROBLEMS.
(Bertrille) IRVING!
IRVING, WILL YOU PLEASE
STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND?
PEOPLE ARE BEGINNING TO TALK.
LOOK, IRVING, IF
YOU WANT RELIGION,
WHY DON'T YOU TRY THE SYNAGOGUE?
[Irving squawks]
YOU WERE SAYING,
REVEREND MOTHER?
OF COURSE, HUMAN
NATURE BEING WHAT IT IS,
WE CAN HAVE AN
EXCEPTION NOW AND THEN.
SO I SEE.
OK, NOW, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
THAT YOU BE ON
YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR
AND THAT YOU SING
YOUR VERY BEST.
BECAUSE I WANNA TRY TO IMPRESS
THE REVEREND MOTHER AND FATHER
SWEENEY WITH YOUR FINE MANNERS.
IN OTHER WORDS,
[speaking Spanish]
UH, ENGLISH TRANSLATION,
SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT.
OK, READY?
[blows keypipe]
(all) ♪ HELLO, CAPTAIN
PUMPERDINKLE, HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ♪
♪ THANK YOU, SIR,
I'M VERY WELL ♪
♪ I MUST BE ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY, I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY, I'M ON
MY WAY, I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ HELLO, FREDDY SPOTTED
PUPPY ♪ ♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ HELLO, FREDDY SPOTTED
PUPPY, HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ SORRY, I MUST LEAVE YOU
BUT I HAVEN'T TIME TO PLAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY, I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY, I'M ON MY WAY ♪
(Bertrille) WELL, THAT WASN'T BAD,
NINOS. SHALL WE TRY IT AGAIN?
AND, UM, PEDRO, THIS TIME
TRY AND SING ON KEY, OK?
[children laughing]
OK. READY?
[blows keypipe]
[squawks]
(all) ♪ HELLO, CAPTAIN
PUMPERDINKLE, HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ♪
♪ THANK YOU, SIR,
I'M VERY WELL ♪
[Irving squawking] ♪ I
MUST BE ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
HOLD IT.
(Bertrille) HOLD IT,
THAT'S ENOUGH.
UH, PEDRO,
WE'RE SINGING IN THE
KEY OF "G" NOT "A" FLAT.
[speaking Spanish]
OK.
[blows keypipe]
[Irving squawks]
[children laughing]
[blows keypipe]
(all) ♪ HELLO, CAPTAIN
PUMPERDINKLE, HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ♪
♪ THANK YOU, SIR,
I'M VERY WELL ♪
[children laughing]
[children clamoring]
♪ THANK YOU, SIR,
I'M VERY WELL ♪
♪ I MUST BE ON MY
WAY, I'M ON MY WAY ♪
YOU SEEM TO HAVE
ACQUIRED A PELICAN
AS A PERMANENT GUEST,
REVEREND MOTHER.
I ASSURE YOU, FATHER SWEENEY,
HIS VISIT IS ABOUT TO TERMINATE.
EXCUSE ME, PLEASE.
REVEREND MOTHER, I'M SO SORRY.
I WANTED SO MUCH FOR MY CLASS
TO BE ON THEIR BEST BEHAVIOR.
SISTER BERTRILLE,
I WILL APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH
IF YOU WILL GET
RID OF THAT BIRD.
OH, I WILL. RIGHT AWAY. RIGHT...
[Rev. Mother clears throat]
OK, KIDS, BACK TO WORK.
[squawks]
OK, IRVING, NOW LOOK
WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
AT LEAST YOU COULD
HAVE SUNG ON KEY.
SHOO, SHOO. GET
OUT OF HERE. SHOO.
IRVING, GO AWAY. SHOO. SHOO.
(Jacqueline) NEVER LET IT BE SAID
THAT IRVING COULDN'T TAKE A HINT.
HE LEFT, OR SO IT SEEMED.
YOU'RE AWARE, OF
COURSE, REVEREND MOTHER,
THAT BEING DEAN OF WOMEN AT A
LARGE CO-EDUCATIONAL COLLEGE
HAS ITS OWN SET OF
UNIQUE PROBLEMS.
I'M AFRAID YOU WON'T
FIND UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
AS SELF-CONTROLLED,
AS EASY TO HANDLE,
AS THE NOVICES IN YOUR CHARGE.
OH? INDEED.
YES, THE TROUBLES YOU HAVE HERE
MAY SEEM SIMPLE BY COMPARISON.
[Irving squawking]
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING,
REVEREND MOTHER?
NO. NO, FATHER I DID NOT.
YOU SEE,
IN A LARGE CO-EDUCATIONAL
INSTITUTION OF LEARNING...
[Irving squawking]
[crickets chirping]
(Bertrille) SEA SHELLS.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT
ME INTO ENOUGH TROUBLE?
[Irving squawking]
SHH!
IRVING, WILL YOU
PLEASE BE QUIET?
YOU'LL WAKE UP
THE WHOLE CONVENT.
AND FATHER SWEENEY WILL THINK
WE'RE A BUNCH OF CRAZY, MIXED UP GOONS
AND THE REVEREND MOTHER
WILL NEVER GET HER APPOINTMENT.
SHOULDN'T YOU TELL IRVING,
UH, VISITING HOURS
ARE OVER AT 7:00?
OH, IRVING'S A NON-CONFORMIST.
HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN RULES.
AND AFTER HE PRACTICALLY PROMISED
ME THIS MORNING HE'D STAY AWAY.
[chuckles]
SHOW ME ONE PELICAN
WHO'LL KEEP HIS WORD
AND I'LL SHOW YOU 10 WHO WON'T.
[sighing]
SEEMS TO ME NO
SELF-RESPECTING PELICAN
WOULD STICK AROUND
WHERE HE ISN'T WANTED.
WHERE DID YOU MEET
THIS BIRD ANYWAY?
WELL, IT WASN'T MY
IDEA. I CAN TELL YOU THAT.
I WAS JUST FLYING
AROUND THE BEACH,
MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS.
I... I LOST MY CRUCIFIX,
SO I FLEW DOWN TO LOOK
FOR IT AND I FOUND HIM INSTEAD.
HE HAD A BRUISED
LEG, SO I BANDAGED IT.
YOU MEAN THAT'S
THE SAME PELICAN?
HE FOLLOWED YOU ALL THE
WAY FROM THE BEACH HERE?
WELL, UNLESS THERE'S
ANOTHER PELICAN FLYING AROUND
WITH HIS RIGHT LEG BANDAGED
WITH MY HANDKERCHIEF.
DO A GOOD DEED AND
SEE WHAT HAPPENS?
I... I HAVEN'T HAD A
PEACEFUL MOMENT SINCE.
HE... HE FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE.
HE BRINGS ME FISH
AND SEA SHELLS.
[Irving squawking]
NOW HE'S SERENADING ME.
THAT'S A SERENADE? YEAH.
IT SEEMS TO BE PART OF A
PROGRAM OF HARASSMENT.
I DON'T THINK HARASSMENT
IS THE RIGHT WORD.
NO? WHAT?
TRY COURTING.
COURTING?
HE SERENADES YOU.
HE BRINGS YOU GIFTS.
GIFTS?
FISH. FISH?
SEA SHELLS.
SEA SHELLS. WHAT
ARE YOU GETTING AT?
IRVING IS IN LOVE WITH YOU.
IRVING IS A BIRD.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK
IRVING THINKS YOU ARE?
[Irving squawking]
OK, ROMEO. FUN'S FUN.
BUT I'VE PUT UP
WITH YOUR NONSENSE
ABOUT AS LONG AS I'M GOING TO.
DON'T TRY AND
ARGUE WITH ME, IRVING.
I'M NOT GONNA PLAY A
JULIET TO ANY PELICAN,
I CAN TELL YOU THAT.
I AM GOING TO PERSONALLY
ESCORT YOU BACK TO THE BEACH
WHERE YOU BELONG.
MOVE OVER. MOVE OVER.
DON'T GET ANGRY WITH
ME, JUST MOVE OVER.
[grunts] OK.
ARE YOU READY, IRVING?
[squawks] LET'S GO.
OK, COME ON, IRVING.
I SAID, "COME ON."
[screams]
OH, GOOD GRIEF. NOW
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
SISTER BERTRILLE.
OH, REVEREND MOTHER,
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GONNA
BELIEVE THIS, BUT, UH...
ANOTHER DOWNDRAFT,
SISTER BERTRILLE?
OH, THAT...
(Jacqueline) IRVING WAS NO
SLOUCH WHEN IT CAME TO COURTING.
HE NEVER LET SISTER
BERTRILLE OUT OF HIS SIGHT.
[squawking]
(Jacqueline) WHAT HE DIDN'T
KNOW, HOWEVER, WAS THAT
HE WAS ABOUT TO GET THE GATE.
IRVING.
[squawks]
THIS ISN'T GONNA BE
EASY FOR EITHER OF US,
BUT THE TIME HAS COME
TO CLEAR THE AIR
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
NOW, PLEASE, TRY TO UNDERSTAND.
WHAT I MEAN IS,
YOU SEE, WE JUST WEREN'T
MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.
[Irving squawking]
WHAT AM I DOING
TALKING TO A BIRD?
[sighs]
IRVING, [squawks]
WHAT I'M TRYING TO
SAY IS, IT'S ALL OVER.
W-WE'RE THROUGH.
BUT, NOT THAT I DON'T
APPRECIATE YOUR AFFECTION.
MATTER OF FACT, I...
I'M QUITE TOUCHED.
BUT I'M ALREADY
SPOKEN FOR, YOU KNOW.
BESIDES, WE'D NEVER GET ALONG.
I MEAN, THE ONLY THING WE HAVE
IN COMMON IS THAT WE BOTH FLY.
AND ANY WAY YOU SLICE
IT, THAT ISN'T ENOUGH.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE FISH.
SO WHAT YOU SHOULD DO
IS... IS FIND YOURSELF A NICE
PELICAN GIRL AND SETTLE DOWN.
OH, I'M... I'M SORRY, IRVING,
BUT T-THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.
IT'S BEEN NICE BUT IT'S OVER.
TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO.
I'LL TURN MY BACK
AND... AND COUNT TO 5.
AND THEN I'LL WALK OFF THIS WAY
AND... AND YOU FLY OFF THAT WAY,
AND... AND WE'LL TRY VERY
HARD NOT TO EVEN LOOK BACK.
JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES, OK?
[squawks]
OK.
1,
2,
3,
4,
5.
IRVING, I SAID, "GO!"
OH.
GOOD MORNING, FATHER.
[Bertrille clears throat]
GOOD MORNING, SISTER.
IRVING, THIS IS IT.
ONE OF US HAS GOT TO GO.
(Jacqueline) PERHAPS,
BUT QUITE OBVIOUSLY IT
WASN'T GOING TO BE IRVING.
HE PLANTED 2 WEBBED FEET
FIRMLY ON THE CONVENT GROUNDS
AND NOTHING COULD BUDGE HIM.
HE PLAYED THE ROLE OF THE
REJECTED LOVER TO THE HILT.
HE WOULDN'T EAT.
HE WOULDN'T DRINK.
IRVING WAS IN TROUBLE.
DID YOU FIND ANYTHING
WRONG WITH HIM, DR. LEONARD?
NOTHING THAT MEDICINE CAN CURE.
HIS LEG IS COMPLETELY
HEALED. IT ISN'T THAT.
DOCTOR, THE BIRD IS EITHER
SICK OR HE IS NOT SICK.
IT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU
MEAN BY SICK, REVEREND MOTHER.
PHYSIOLOGICALLY, THERE'S
NOTHING WRONG WITH THE BIRD.
MENTALLY... MENTALLY?
IT'S NOT AN UNUSUAL
CASE. I'VE SEEN IT BEFORE.
PETS WHO BECOME
ATTACHED TO THEIR OWNERS,
THEIR OWNERS LEAVE
TOWN OR REJECT THEM.
THEY LITERALLY PINE AWAY.
I SEE.
WELL, UH, COULDN'T YOU
ARRANGE TO HAVE HIM
PINE AWAY SOMEPLACE ELSE?
(Rev. Mother) I MEAN,
I CANNOT HAVE
THE MORALE OF THE
ENTIRE CONVENT DISRUPTED
FOR, UH, AN EMOTIONALLY
DISTURBED BIRD.
OH, I COULD TAKE HIM
WITH ME EASILY ENOUGH.
FINE.
BUT HE WOULD PROBABLY DIE.
OH, REVEREND MOTHER,
WE CAN'T LET HIM DIE.
REALLY, SISTER. THIS
IS UTTERLY RIDICULOUS.
WHAT ON EARTH
COULD HE BE PINING FOR,
HERE AT SAN TANCO?
UH, REVEREND MOTHER,
MAY I SPEAK TO YOU
A MOMENT, PLEASE?
[birds chirping]
WHAT?
IN MY 20 YEARS AT THE CONVENT,
I'VE SEEN AND HEARD MANY THINGS.
I'VE HAD TO HANDLE MANY
DIFFICULT SITUATIONS.
I'VE EVEN LEARNED
TO ACCEPT THE FACT
THAT WE HAVE A NOVICE WHO FLIES.
NEVER HAVE I HAD TO
COPE WITH A LOVESICK BIRD.
IT'S NEVER HAPPENED TO ME
BEFORE EITHER, REVEREND MOTHER.
[sighs]
WELL, OF COURSE, THE LOGICAL
ANSWER IS TO SEND THE PELICAN AWAY.
SISTER JACQUELINE, I DO NOT
INTEND TO HAVE THE DEMISE
OF EVEN ONE BIRD
ON MY CONSCIENCE.
NO, WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE
AND WE HAVE TO FIND
A SOLUTION FOR IT.
NOW, LOOKING AT THE
SITUATION PRAGMATICALLY,
WHAT DO WE HAVE?
WE HAVE A PELICAN
WHO BELIEVES SISTER
BERTRILLE IS ANOTHER PELICAN
AND AS A RESULT FALLS, UH...
HAS A ROMANTIC
ATTACHMENT FOR HER.
THERE MUST BE
SOMETHING WE CAN DO.
I TRIED TO REASON WITH HIM.
DID YOU TELL HIM HOW
DIFFICULT HE'S MAKING...
OH, GOODNESS, I DO KEEP
FORGETTING HE IS A BIRD.
OH, I TRIED EVERYTHING,
REVEREND MOTHER,
BUT IRVING JUST WILL
NOT BE DISCOURAGED.
SISTER JACQUELINE,
YOU MUST HAVE A SUGGESTION.
HOW ABOUT A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR?
SISTER JACQUELINE, THIS
IS NO TIME FOR LEVITY.
SORRY.
WE HAVE AN ACUTE EMERGENCY
AND IT MUST BE HANDLED AS SUCH.
NOW,
WHAT WE HAVE TO DO IS FIND
SOMETHING TO DIVERT IRVING'S,
UH, THIS PELICAN'S ATTENTION.
BUT, OF COURSE.
WE HAVE TO FIND A
SUBSTITUTE FOR YOU,
SISTER BERTRILLE.
OH, WELL, THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
(Rev. Mother) IN OTHER
WORDS, ANOTHER PELICAN.
A MATE FOR IRVING.
ISN'T THAT PLAUSIBLE?
(Sweeney) REVEREND MOTHER,
I THINK YOU'VE COME UP
WITH AN INGENUOUS SOLUTION.
AND I MUST COMMEND
YOU FOR YOUR APPROACH
TO A MOST DELICATE SITUATION.
NOT AT ALL, FATHER SWEENEY.
MERELY ROUTINE.
[pelicans squawking]
I DID THE BEST I COULD
WITH THE SHORT NOTICE I HAD.
OH, THERE OUGHT TO BE ONE
HERE THAT IRVING WILL LIKE. I HOPE.
I GAVE THEM EACH NAMES
SO I COULD IDENTIFY THEM.
AND THIS ONE IS JOSEPHINE.
THIS ONE IS GERTRUDE.
(Bertrille) UH-HUH.
THAT'S ANGELINE.
AND THAT ONE IS EMMA-LOU.
OH, WELL, SHALL WE
START WITH JOSEPHINE?
ALL RIGHT.
IRVING, MEET JOSEPHINE.
[Josephine squawking]
[both squawking]
GERTRUDE, MEET IRVING.
[both squawking]
ANGELINE?
[Irving squawking]
ONE TO GO.
EMMA-LOU.
IRVING, OLD BOY, IT'S
EMMA-LOU OR NOTHING.
UH, WAIT A SECOND, DR. LEONARD.
MIND IF I TRY A
LITTLE PSYCHOLOGY?
BY ALL MEANS. PLEASE.
IRVING WILL NEVER
GO FOR THIS ONE.
LOOK AT THOSE SCRAGGLY
BUNCH OF FEATHERS.
AND SHE CALLS
HERSELF A PELICAN, HMM?
AND CAN YOU IMAGINE
HAVING TO LISTEN
TO THAT SQUAWKING
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?
[imitating pelicans squawking]
[both squawking]
I THINK THAT WAS MEANT FOR YOU.
NOT ONLY THAT,
BUT, UH, SHE'S VAIN.
SPOILED ROTTEN.
I'LL BET SHE'S THE TYPE THAT
WOULDN'T EVEN LIFT A BEAK
TO GET FISH FOR DINNER.
WELL, POOR IRVING WOULD BE
WAITING ON THAT BIRD'S DROPOUT
FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.
[both squawking]
I GUESS EMMA-LOU
HAD WHAT IT TAKES.
WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM SISTER BERTRILLE.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?
IRVING NEVER EVEN SAID GOODBYE.
OH, THAT'S A PELICAN FOR YOU.
YOUNG BIRD COMES
ALONG, FLICKS A FEATHER,
AND AWAY HE GOES.
OH, WHAT A SNAPPY-LOOKING GROUP.
WHAT HAPPENED,
SOMEBODY DROP A BOMB?
IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING.
FATHER SWEENEY JUST LEFT.
AND?
I'M AFRAID THE REVEREND
MOTHER DIDN'T CUT IT.
HE'S NOT RECOMMENDING
HER FOR THE APPOINTMENT.
SHE LOOKS SO VERY SAD.
I THINK WE BLEW IT.
I COULDN'T SAY IT ANY
BETTER, SISTER SIXTO.
BUT WHY?
DON'T ANSWER THAT
QUESTION. I KNOW WHY.
REVEREND MOTHER?
YES, SISTER
BERTRILLE. WHAT IS IT?
I... I HEARD YOU DIDN'T
GET THE APPOINTMENT.
YES. THAT IS CORRECT.
IT'S MY FAULT.
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
WELL, ONE COULD SAY
YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO
WITH FATHER SWEENEY'S DECISION.
WE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO
GO, REVEREND MOTHER,
WE WOULD HAVE
MISSED YOU TERRIBLY.
BUT WE ALSO KNOW HOW
MUCH IT MEANT TO YOU.
YOU WOULD HAVE MADE A
WONDERFUL DEAN OF WOMEN.
THERE DIDN'T SEEM
TO BE ANY QUESTION
AS TO MY QUALIFICATIONS.
THE ROSES DID
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL THIS YEAR.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
FATHER SWEENEY FELT THAT
UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES,
I SHOULD REMAIN HERE.
OF COURSE, I HAVE NO
CHOICE IN THE MATTER.
I GO WHERE I AM DIRECTED TO GO.
BUT WHEN HE TOLD ME WHAT
HIS RECOMMENDATION WAS,
IT WAS THE HAPPIEST
NEWS I COULD HEAR.
I LOVE IT HERE AT SAN TANCO.
EVEN WITH ME HERE?
MOST SPECIFICALLY WITH YOU HERE.
SISTER BERTRILLE,
DO YOU NOT AGREE
THAT THE MOST
GRATIFYING REWARD IN LIFE
IS TO FEEL ONE IS NEEDED?
[bell tolling]
[glass shattering]
(Jacqueline) IT WAS SPRING
IN SAN JUAN, PUERTO RICO.
THE SUN WAS SHINING,
THE TRADE WINDS WERE BLOWING,
THE WEATHER WAS
IDEAL FOR FLYING.
FOR SOME.
IT WAS A PERFECT DAY.
AT ANY RATE, IT
STARTED OUT THAT WAY.
HOW THIS DAY ENDED
IS SOMETHING ELSE.
[waves crashing]
[squawking]
OH, IT'S GOT TO BE
HERE SOMEPLACE.
NOW, IF IT FELL DIRECTLY DOWN,
ALLOWING FOR WIND,
AIR SPEED, DRIFT...
[Pelican squawking]
UH, HI!
[squawking]
WHAT'S A NICE BIRD LIKE YOU
DOING HERE ALL BY HIMSELF?
WHY AREN'T YOU OUT PLAYING WITH THE
OTHER PELICANS ON A DAY LIKE THIS, HUH?
[squawks] YOU OK?
YOU LOOK A LITTLE
PEAKED AROUND THE GILLS.
AH, YOU BRUISED
YOUR LEG, DIDN'T YOU?
WELL, I'LL FIX IT UP FOR YOU.
[squawks] JUST HOLD STILL NOW.
THIS IS GONNA HURT ME A
LOT MORE THAN IT IS YOU.
AH. HOLD STILL.
[squawks]
OK.
THERE YOU ARE. AS GOOD AS NEW.
[squawks]
AH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO THANK ME.
I ONLY DID WHAT ANYONE WOULD DO.
[bell tolling]
OH, GOSH. I GOTTA HURRY.
SEE YOU LATER. SO LONG, IRVING.
DON'T TAKE ANY WOODEN FISH.
[squawking]
(Jacqueline) AND THUS IT WAS
THAT ON THIS
BEAUTIFUL DAY IN SPRING,
IRVING FELL IN LOVE.
(Jacqueline) SISTER BERTRILLE'S
BRIEF ENCOUNTER WITH IRVING
DELAYED TAKE OFF
AND LESS THAN GALE-FORCE WINDS
BROUGHT HER BACK
BEHIND SCHEDULE.
MEANWHILE, WE WERE ASSEMBLED
TO MEET A VERY IMPORTANT GUEST
ARRIVING FOR VERY
IMPORTANT REASONS.
[birds chirping]
WELCOME TO THE CONVENT
SAN TANCO, FATHER SWEENEY.
THANK YOU, REVEREND MOTHER.
WELL, I HOPE MY VISIT
WILL NOT INCONVENIENCE
ANYBODY TOO MUCH.
NO, NOT AT ALL.
I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MEET,
UH, UH, SISTER JACQUELINE.
IT'S MY PLEASURE, FATHER.
PLEASED TO MEET
YOU, SISTER JACQUELINE.
SISTER SIXTO.
HOW DO YOU DO, SISTER. FATHER.
NOW, I WOULD LIKE TO PRESENT
SOME OF MY YOUNG NOVICES TO YOU.
SISTER ANA, MY SECRETARY.
SISTER ANA.
UH, SISTER MARGUERITA.
HOW DO YOU DO,
SISTER MARGUERITA?
[leaves rustling] AND...
(Bertrille) SORRY I'M
LATE, REVEREND MOTHER,
BUT I TOOK A SHORTCUT AND
GOT CAUGHT IN A DOWNDRAFT.
WHOOPS. EXCUSE ME.
THIS IS SISTER BERTRILLE.
HOW DO YOU DO, FATHER?
DOWNDRAFT?
ARE YOU A PILOT,
SISTER BERTRILLE?
WHO ME?
(Rev. Mother) SISTER BERTRILLE
IS INTERESTED IN FLYING
AND, UH, SHE USES THE
TERMINOLOGY FROM TIME TO TIME.
YOU MAY FIND HER USE OF ENGLISH
A LITTLE MORE COLORFUL
THAN MOST NOVICES.
SO I SEE.
UH, SHALL WE GO IN, FATHER?
OUR, UH, ACCOMMODATIONS
HERE ARE NOT LUXURIOUS
BUT, UH, YOU WILL FIND
THEM, I TRUST, ADEQUATE.
I'M SURE I WILL,
REVEREND MOTHER.
IT APPEARS TO ME YOU
HAVE A BEAUTIFUL AND...
VERY PEACEFUL PLACE HERE.
YES, IT IS VERY BEAUTIFUL.
AND, I HOPE, PEACEFUL.
YOU PULLED A BONE THAT
TIME, SISTER BERTRILLE.
BONER, SISTER.
I DON'T GET IT. WHAT'S
THE BIG EXCITEMENT?
WHO'S THE FATHER?
HE'S A BIG WHALE.
WHEEL. FATHER SWEENEY
IS THE ADMINISTRATOR FROM
THE NEWLY MERGED COLLEGES
OF SAINTS BERNARD AND BONIFACE.
THEY'RE GOING CO-EDUCATIONAL
AND THE REVEREND MOTHER WILL
BE IN CHARGE OF HUNDREDS OF GIRLS.
SHE'S TO HEAD THE DEN OF WOMEN.
THERE'S A RUMOR TO THE EFFECT
THAT SHE'S A CANDIDATE
FOR THE DEAN OF WOMEN.
(Ana) IT'S SUCH A BIG HONOR.
I STILL DON'T GET IT.
WELL, APPARENTLY
FATHER SWEENEY IS HERE
TO INTERVIEW AND OBSERVE
THE REVEREND MOTHER,
TO SEE IF SHE QUALIFIES
FOR THE POSITION.
YOU MEAN SHE MIGHT
LEAVE SAN TANCO?
WELL, THAT ALL DEPENDS ON
HOW FATHER SWEENEY EVALUATES
HER IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS.
AND US.
(Jacqueline) SO I MIGHT
SUGGEST, SISTER,
YOU CURTAIL YOUR EXTRACURRICULAR
ACTIVITIES TEMPORARILY.
IT'S OUR RESPONSIBILITY
TO SEE THAT
THE REVEREND MOTHER
LOOKS AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE.
OH, DON'T WORRY,
SISTER JACQUELINE.
I'LL DO EVERYTHING I CAN.
THAT'S WHAT WORRIES ME.
COME ON.
(Jacqueline) WELL, SISTER
BERTRILLE WAS CERTAINLY AWARE
OF THE GRAVITY OF THE SITUATION.
UNFORTUNATELY,
NO ONE TOLD IRVING.
[squawking]
SISTER BERTRILLE,
I BELIEVE IT IS YOUR
TURN TO SAY GRACE.
OF COURSE, REVEREND MOTHER.
WE ASK, OH, LORD, THAT
YOU BLESS THIS FOOD
AND THAT OUR HUMBLE
PLATES BE FILLED WITH...
[dishes clattering]
[Irving squawking]
IRVING!
SISTER BERTRILLE'S PRAYERS ARE
ALWAYS ANSWERED, FATHER SWEENEY.
AND THIS IS OUR CHAPEL, FATHER.
RIGHT NOW OUR
NOVICES ARE CONCLUDING
A SILENT HOUR OF PRAYER.
TELL ME, REVEREND MOTHER,
DID YOU EVER HAVE ANY PROBLEM
OF DISCIPLINE WITH THE NOVICES?
WELL, OUR RULES ARE
VERY STRICT, FATHER.
GENERALLY SPEAKING, I
HAVE VERY FEW PROBLEMS.
(Bertrille) IRVING!
IRVING, WILL YOU PLEASE
STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND?
PEOPLE ARE BEGINNING TO TALK.
LOOK, IRVING, IF
YOU WANT RELIGION,
WHY DON'T YOU TRY THE SYNAGOGUE?
[Irving squawks]
YOU WERE SAYING,
REVEREND MOTHER?
OF COURSE, HUMAN
NATURE BEING WHAT IT IS,
WE CAN HAVE AN
EXCEPTION NOW AND THEN.
SO I SEE.
OK, NOW, IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
THAT YOU BE ON
YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR
AND THAT YOU SING
YOUR VERY BEST.
BECAUSE I WANNA TRY TO IMPRESS
THE REVEREND MOTHER AND FATHER
SWEENEY WITH YOUR FINE MANNERS.
IN OTHER WORDS,
[speaking Spanish]
UH, ENGLISH TRANSLATION,
SHAPE UP OR SHIP OUT.
OK, READY?
[blows keypipe]
(all) ♪ HELLO, CAPTAIN
PUMPERDINKLE, HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ♪
♪ THANK YOU, SIR,
I'M VERY WELL ♪
♪ I MUST BE ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY, I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY, I'M ON
MY WAY, I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ HELLO, FREDDY SPOTTED
PUPPY ♪ ♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ HELLO, FREDDY SPOTTED
PUPPY, HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ SORRY, I MUST LEAVE YOU
BUT I HAVEN'T TIME TO PLAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY, I'M ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY, I'M ON MY WAY ♪
(Bertrille) WELL, THAT WASN'T BAD,
NINOS. SHALL WE TRY IT AGAIN?
AND, UM, PEDRO, THIS TIME
TRY AND SING ON KEY, OK?
[children laughing]
OK. READY?
[blows keypipe]
[squawks]
(all) ♪ HELLO, CAPTAIN
PUMPERDINKLE, HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ♪
♪ THANK YOU, SIR,
I'M VERY WELL ♪
[Irving squawking] ♪ I
MUST BE ON MY WAY ♪
♪ I'M ON MY WAY ♪
HOLD IT.
(Bertrille) HOLD IT,
THAT'S ENOUGH.
UH, PEDRO,
WE'RE SINGING IN THE
KEY OF "G" NOT "A" FLAT.
[speaking Spanish]
OK.
[blows keypipe]
[Irving squawks]
[children laughing]
[blows keypipe]
(all) ♪ HELLO, CAPTAIN
PUMPERDINKLE, HOW ARE YOU TODAY? ♪
♪ THANK YOU, SIR,
I'M VERY WELL ♪
[children laughing]
[children clamoring]
♪ THANK YOU, SIR,
I'M VERY WELL ♪
♪ I MUST BE ON MY
WAY, I'M ON MY WAY ♪
YOU SEEM TO HAVE
ACQUIRED A PELICAN
AS A PERMANENT GUEST,
REVEREND MOTHER.
I ASSURE YOU, FATHER SWEENEY,
HIS VISIT IS ABOUT TO TERMINATE.
EXCUSE ME, PLEASE.
REVEREND MOTHER, I'M SO SORRY.
I WANTED SO MUCH FOR MY CLASS
TO BE ON THEIR BEST BEHAVIOR.
SISTER BERTRILLE,
I WILL APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH
IF YOU WILL GET
RID OF THAT BIRD.
OH, I WILL. RIGHT AWAY. RIGHT...
[Rev. Mother clears throat]
OK, KIDS, BACK TO WORK.
[squawks]
OK, IRVING, NOW LOOK
WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
AT LEAST YOU COULD
HAVE SUNG ON KEY.
SHOO, SHOO. GET
OUT OF HERE. SHOO.
IRVING, GO AWAY. SHOO. SHOO.
(Jacqueline) NEVER LET IT BE SAID
THAT IRVING COULDN'T TAKE A HINT.
HE LEFT, OR SO IT SEEMED.
YOU'RE AWARE, OF
COURSE, REVEREND MOTHER,
THAT BEING DEAN OF WOMEN AT A
LARGE CO-EDUCATIONAL COLLEGE
HAS ITS OWN SET OF
UNIQUE PROBLEMS.
I'M AFRAID YOU WON'T
FIND UNIVERSITY STUDENTS
AS SELF-CONTROLLED,
AS EASY TO HANDLE,
AS THE NOVICES IN YOUR CHARGE.
OH? INDEED.
YES, THE TROUBLES YOU HAVE HERE
MAY SEEM SIMPLE BY COMPARISON.
[Irving squawking]
DID YOU SAY SOMETHING,
REVEREND MOTHER?
NO. NO, FATHER I DID NOT.
YOU SEE,
IN A LARGE CO-EDUCATIONAL
INSTITUTION OF LEARNING...
[Irving squawking]
[crickets chirping]
(Bertrille) SEA SHELLS.
DON'T YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT
ME INTO ENOUGH TROUBLE?
[Irving squawking]
SHH!
IRVING, WILL YOU
PLEASE BE QUIET?
YOU'LL WAKE UP
THE WHOLE CONVENT.
AND FATHER SWEENEY WILL THINK
WE'RE A BUNCH OF CRAZY, MIXED UP GOONS
AND THE REVEREND MOTHER
WILL NEVER GET HER APPOINTMENT.
SHOULDN'T YOU TELL IRVING,
UH, VISITING HOURS
ARE OVER AT 7:00?
OH, IRVING'S A NON-CONFORMIST.
HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN RULES.
AND AFTER HE PRACTICALLY PROMISED
ME THIS MORNING HE'D STAY AWAY.
[chuckles]
SHOW ME ONE PELICAN
WHO'LL KEEP HIS WORD
AND I'LL SHOW YOU 10 WHO WON'T.
[sighing]
SEEMS TO ME NO
SELF-RESPECTING PELICAN
WOULD STICK AROUND
WHERE HE ISN'T WANTED.
WHERE DID YOU MEET
THIS BIRD ANYWAY?
WELL, IT WASN'T MY
IDEA. I CAN TELL YOU THAT.
I WAS JUST FLYING
AROUND THE BEACH,
MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS.
I... I LOST MY CRUCIFIX,
SO I FLEW DOWN TO LOOK
FOR IT AND I FOUND HIM INSTEAD.
HE HAD A BRUISED
LEG, SO I BANDAGED IT.
YOU MEAN THAT'S
THE SAME PELICAN?
HE FOLLOWED YOU ALL THE
WAY FROM THE BEACH HERE?
WELL, UNLESS THERE'S
ANOTHER PELICAN FLYING AROUND
WITH HIS RIGHT LEG BANDAGED
WITH MY HANDKERCHIEF.
DO A GOOD DEED AND
SEE WHAT HAPPENS?
I... I HAVEN'T HAD A
PEACEFUL MOMENT SINCE.
HE... HE FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE.
HE BRINGS ME FISH
AND SEA SHELLS.
[Irving squawking]
NOW HE'S SERENADING ME.
THAT'S A SERENADE? YEAH.
IT SEEMS TO BE PART OF A
PROGRAM OF HARASSMENT.
I DON'T THINK HARASSMENT
IS THE RIGHT WORD.
NO? WHAT?
TRY COURTING.
COURTING?
HE SERENADES YOU.
HE BRINGS YOU GIFTS.
GIFTS?
FISH. FISH?
SEA SHELLS.
SEA SHELLS. WHAT
ARE YOU GETTING AT?
IRVING IS IN LOVE WITH YOU.
IRVING IS A BIRD.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK
IRVING THINKS YOU ARE?
[Irving squawking]
OK, ROMEO. FUN'S FUN.
BUT I'VE PUT UP
WITH YOUR NONSENSE
ABOUT AS LONG AS I'M GOING TO.
DON'T TRY AND
ARGUE WITH ME, IRVING.
I'M NOT GONNA PLAY A
JULIET TO ANY PELICAN,
I CAN TELL YOU THAT.
I AM GOING TO PERSONALLY
ESCORT YOU BACK TO THE BEACH
WHERE YOU BELONG.
MOVE OVER. MOVE OVER.
DON'T GET ANGRY WITH
ME, JUST MOVE OVER.
[grunts] OK.
ARE YOU READY, IRVING?
[squawks] LET'S GO.
OK, COME ON, IRVING.
I SAID, "COME ON."
[screams]
OH, GOOD GRIEF. NOW
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
SISTER BERTRILLE.
OH, REVEREND MOTHER,
I KNOW YOU'RE NOT GONNA
BELIEVE THIS, BUT, UH...
ANOTHER DOWNDRAFT,
SISTER BERTRILLE?
OH, THAT...
(Jacqueline) IRVING WAS NO
SLOUCH WHEN IT CAME TO COURTING.
HE NEVER LET SISTER
BERTRILLE OUT OF HIS SIGHT.
[squawking]
(Jacqueline) WHAT HE DIDN'T
KNOW, HOWEVER, WAS THAT
HE WAS ABOUT TO GET THE GATE.
IRVING.
[squawks]
THIS ISN'T GONNA BE
EASY FOR EITHER OF US,
BUT THE TIME HAS COME
TO CLEAR THE AIR
ONCE AND FOR ALL.
NOW, PLEASE, TRY TO UNDERSTAND.
WHAT I MEAN IS,
YOU SEE, WE JUST WEREN'T
MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.
[Irving squawking]
WHAT AM I DOING
TALKING TO A BIRD?
[sighs]
IRVING, [squawks]
WHAT I'M TRYING TO
SAY IS, IT'S ALL OVER.
W-WE'RE THROUGH.
BUT, NOT THAT I DON'T
APPRECIATE YOUR AFFECTION.
MATTER OF FACT, I...
I'M QUITE TOUCHED.
BUT I'M ALREADY
SPOKEN FOR, YOU KNOW.
BESIDES, WE'D NEVER GET ALONG.
I MEAN, THE ONLY THING WE HAVE
IN COMMON IS THAT WE BOTH FLY.
AND ANY WAY YOU SLICE
IT, THAT ISN'T ENOUGH.
I DON'T EVEN LIKE FISH.
SO WHAT YOU SHOULD DO
IS... IS FIND YOURSELF A NICE
PELICAN GIRL AND SETTLE DOWN.
OH, I'M... I'M SORRY, IRVING,
BUT T-THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.
IT'S BEEN NICE BUT IT'S OVER.
TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO.
I'LL TURN MY BACK
AND... AND COUNT TO 5.
AND THEN I'LL WALK OFF THIS WAY
AND... AND YOU FLY OFF THAT WAY,
AND... AND WE'LL TRY VERY
HARD NOT TO EVEN LOOK BACK.
JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES, OK?
[squawks]
OK.
1,
2,
3,
4,
5.
IRVING, I SAID, "GO!"
OH.
GOOD MORNING, FATHER.
[Bertrille clears throat]
GOOD MORNING, SISTER.
IRVING, THIS IS IT.
ONE OF US HAS GOT TO GO.
(Jacqueline) PERHAPS,
BUT QUITE OBVIOUSLY IT
WASN'T GOING TO BE IRVING.
HE PLANTED 2 WEBBED FEET
FIRMLY ON THE CONVENT GROUNDS
AND NOTHING COULD BUDGE HIM.
HE PLAYED THE ROLE OF THE
REJECTED LOVER TO THE HILT.
HE WOULDN'T EAT.
HE WOULDN'T DRINK.
IRVING WAS IN TROUBLE.
DID YOU FIND ANYTHING
WRONG WITH HIM, DR. LEONARD?
NOTHING THAT MEDICINE CAN CURE.
HIS LEG IS COMPLETELY
HEALED. IT ISN'T THAT.
DOCTOR, THE BIRD IS EITHER
SICK OR HE IS NOT SICK.
IT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU
MEAN BY SICK, REVEREND MOTHER.
PHYSIOLOGICALLY, THERE'S
NOTHING WRONG WITH THE BIRD.
MENTALLY... MENTALLY?
IT'S NOT AN UNUSUAL
CASE. I'VE SEEN IT BEFORE.
PETS WHO BECOME
ATTACHED TO THEIR OWNERS,
THEIR OWNERS LEAVE
TOWN OR REJECT THEM.
THEY LITERALLY PINE AWAY.
I SEE.
WELL, UH, COULDN'T YOU
ARRANGE TO HAVE HIM
PINE AWAY SOMEPLACE ELSE?
(Rev. Mother) I MEAN,
I CANNOT HAVE
THE MORALE OF THE
ENTIRE CONVENT DISRUPTED
FOR, UH, AN EMOTIONALLY
DISTURBED BIRD.
OH, I COULD TAKE HIM
WITH ME EASILY ENOUGH.
FINE.
BUT HE WOULD PROBABLY DIE.
OH, REVEREND MOTHER,
WE CAN'T LET HIM DIE.
REALLY, SISTER. THIS
IS UTTERLY RIDICULOUS.
WHAT ON EARTH
COULD HE BE PINING FOR,
HERE AT SAN TANCO?
UH, REVEREND MOTHER,
MAY I SPEAK TO YOU
A MOMENT, PLEASE?
[birds chirping]
WHAT?
IN MY 20 YEARS AT THE CONVENT,
I'VE SEEN AND HEARD MANY THINGS.
I'VE HAD TO HANDLE MANY
DIFFICULT SITUATIONS.
I'VE EVEN LEARNED
TO ACCEPT THE FACT
THAT WE HAVE A NOVICE WHO FLIES.
NEVER HAVE I HAD TO
COPE WITH A LOVESICK BIRD.
IT'S NEVER HAPPENED TO ME
BEFORE EITHER, REVEREND MOTHER.
[sighs]
WELL, OF COURSE, THE LOGICAL
ANSWER IS TO SEND THE PELICAN AWAY.
SISTER JACQUELINE, I DO NOT
INTEND TO HAVE THE DEMISE
OF EVEN ONE BIRD
ON MY CONSCIENCE.
NO, WE HAVE A PROBLEM HERE
AND WE HAVE TO FIND
A SOLUTION FOR IT.
NOW, LOOKING AT THE
SITUATION PRAGMATICALLY,
WHAT DO WE HAVE?
WE HAVE A PELICAN
WHO BELIEVES SISTER
BERTRILLE IS ANOTHER PELICAN
AND AS A RESULT FALLS, UH...
HAS A ROMANTIC
ATTACHMENT FOR HER.
THERE MUST BE
SOMETHING WE CAN DO.
I TRIED TO REASON WITH HIM.
DID YOU TELL HIM HOW
DIFFICULT HE'S MAKING...
OH, GOODNESS, I DO KEEP
FORGETTING HE IS A BIRD.
OH, I TRIED EVERYTHING,
REVEREND MOTHER,
BUT IRVING JUST WILL
NOT BE DISCOURAGED.
SISTER JACQUELINE,
YOU MUST HAVE A SUGGESTION.
HOW ABOUT A MARRIAGE COUNSELOR?
SISTER JACQUELINE, THIS
IS NO TIME FOR LEVITY.
SORRY.
WE HAVE AN ACUTE EMERGENCY
AND IT MUST BE HANDLED AS SUCH.
NOW,
WHAT WE HAVE TO DO IS FIND
SOMETHING TO DIVERT IRVING'S,
UH, THIS PELICAN'S ATTENTION.
BUT, OF COURSE.
WE HAVE TO FIND A
SUBSTITUTE FOR YOU,
SISTER BERTRILLE.
OH, WELL, THAT'S FINE WITH ME.
(Rev. Mother) IN OTHER
WORDS, ANOTHER PELICAN.
A MATE FOR IRVING.
ISN'T THAT PLAUSIBLE?
(Sweeney) REVEREND MOTHER,
I THINK YOU'VE COME UP
WITH AN INGENUOUS SOLUTION.
AND I MUST COMMEND
YOU FOR YOUR APPROACH
TO A MOST DELICATE SITUATION.
NOT AT ALL, FATHER SWEENEY.
MERELY ROUTINE.
[pelicans squawking]
I DID THE BEST I COULD
WITH THE SHORT NOTICE I HAD.
OH, THERE OUGHT TO BE ONE
HERE THAT IRVING WILL LIKE. I HOPE.
I GAVE THEM EACH NAMES
SO I COULD IDENTIFY THEM.
AND THIS ONE IS JOSEPHINE.
THIS ONE IS GERTRUDE.
(Bertrille) UH-HUH.
THAT'S ANGELINE.
AND THAT ONE IS EMMA-LOU.
OH, WELL, SHALL WE
START WITH JOSEPHINE?
ALL RIGHT.
IRVING, MEET JOSEPHINE.
[Josephine squawking]
[both squawking]
GERTRUDE, MEET IRVING.
[both squawking]
ANGELINE?
[Irving squawking]
ONE TO GO.
EMMA-LOU.
IRVING, OLD BOY, IT'S
EMMA-LOU OR NOTHING.
UH, WAIT A SECOND, DR. LEONARD.
MIND IF I TRY A
LITTLE PSYCHOLOGY?
BY ALL MEANS. PLEASE.
IRVING WILL NEVER
GO FOR THIS ONE.
LOOK AT THOSE SCRAGGLY
BUNCH OF FEATHERS.
AND SHE CALLS
HERSELF A PELICAN, HMM?
AND CAN YOU IMAGINE
HAVING TO LISTEN
TO THAT SQUAWKING
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?
[imitating pelicans squawking]
[both squawking]
I THINK THAT WAS MEANT FOR YOU.
NOT ONLY THAT,
BUT, UH, SHE'S VAIN.
SPOILED ROTTEN.
I'LL BET SHE'S THE TYPE THAT
WOULDN'T EVEN LIFT A BEAK
TO GET FISH FOR DINNER.
WELL, POOR IRVING WOULD BE
WAITING ON THAT BIRD'S DROPOUT
FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.
[both squawking]
I GUESS EMMA-LOU
HAD WHAT IT TAKES.
WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM SISTER BERTRILLE.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT?
IRVING NEVER EVEN SAID GOODBYE.
OH, THAT'S A PELICAN FOR YOU.
YOUNG BIRD COMES
ALONG, FLICKS A FEATHER,
AND AWAY HE GOES.
OH, WHAT A SNAPPY-LOOKING GROUP.
WHAT HAPPENED,
SOMEBODY DROP A BOMB?
IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING.
FATHER SWEENEY JUST LEFT.
AND?
I'M AFRAID THE REVEREND
MOTHER DIDN'T CUT IT.
HE'S NOT RECOMMENDING
HER FOR THE APPOINTMENT.
SHE LOOKS SO VERY SAD.
I THINK WE BLEW IT.
I COULDN'T SAY IT ANY
BETTER, SISTER SIXTO.
BUT WHY?
DON'T ANSWER THAT
QUESTION. I KNOW WHY.
REVEREND MOTHER?
YES, SISTER
BERTRILLE. WHAT IS IT?
I... I HEARD YOU DIDN'T
GET THE APPOINTMENT.
YES. THAT IS CORRECT.
IT'S MY FAULT.
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
WELL, ONE COULD SAY
YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO
WITH FATHER SWEENEY'S DECISION.
WE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO
GO, REVEREND MOTHER,
WE WOULD HAVE
MISSED YOU TERRIBLY.
BUT WE ALSO KNOW HOW
MUCH IT MEANT TO YOU.
YOU WOULD HAVE MADE A
WONDERFUL DEAN OF WOMEN.
THERE DIDN'T SEEM
TO BE ANY QUESTION
AS TO MY QUALIFICATIONS.
THE ROSES DID
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL THIS YEAR.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
FATHER SWEENEY FELT THAT
UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES,
I SHOULD REMAIN HERE.
OF COURSE, I HAVE NO
CHOICE IN THE MATTER.
I GO WHERE I AM DIRECTED TO GO.
BUT WHEN HE TOLD ME WHAT
HIS RECOMMENDATION WAS,
IT WAS THE HAPPIEST
NEWS I COULD HEAR.
I LOVE IT HERE AT SAN TANCO.
EVEN WITH ME HERE?
MOST SPECIFICALLY WITH YOU HERE.
SISTER BERTRILLE,
DO YOU NOT AGREE
THAT THE MOST
GRATIFYING REWARD IN LIFE
IS TO FEEL ONE IS NEEDED?
[bell tolling]