The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 6, Episode 9 - The Gravelberry Pie King - full transcript

Say, uh, I hear your fellow
workers at the gravel pit

Aren't too happy, Fred.

That's right, Barn.

They're asking for more
money and more time off.

More time off? Gosh, Fred,

they're already getting
all the holidays off,

Plus their birthdays,

their mothers' birthdays
and their wives' birthdays.

What more do they want?

They want
Valentine's day off, too.

Personally, I'm satisfied, except I
wish the boss would give us



more than 15 minutes
for our lunch hour.

Yeah. Well, you can't
have everything, Fred.

Oh, here's my corner.

Thanks for the lift, Fred.

Don't mention it.
See ya tonight, Barn.

[Toot]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone-Age family

From the town
of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones



Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have
a gay old time

Hey, not so hard!
Sheesh.

So that's
the strategy, boys.

This year, we ask for
Valentine's day off,

And next year, we can legitimately
ask for groundhog day off.

Oh, hi, Fred.
Hi, fellas.

Oh, Fred, I've been
wanting to talk to you.

We're looking for a guy
with brains,

personality, and character

Who can talk fast
and think on his feet.

Uh, what do you
want me for?

We want you to present our
latest demands to Mr. Slate.

Oh, no, not me, buddy.
You got the wrong guy.

I don't wanna lose my job.

They don't want a guy with
brains and personality.

They want a patsy.

Mr. Gazoo, what are you
doing in my lunch pail?

The name's the great Gazoo,

And help me get this ketchup
off my cape. Blecch.

Well, Flintstone,
you certainly blew it.

Huh?

I heard the boys asking you
to be their spokesman.

You could've covered yourself with
glory and made a big man of yourself.

Yeah, but you don't know
Mr. Slate. He'd fire me.

Fire you? On the contrary.

He'd admire your
courage in speaking up.

Probably promote you
to foreman.

Yeah. You may be right.
Thanks, great Gazoo.

Don't mention it.

Hey, buddy, gimme a list
of your demands.

Flintstone, I admire you.

Yeah, Mr. Slate?

I appreciate your courage
in facing me with these demands.

Oh, thanks, Mr. Slate.
I kind of thought you would.

I'm a reasonable businessman,
Flintstone.

I've wanted to give the men
a raise for a long time.

Boy, that's swell.

But I could never figure out
where the money would come from

until now.

Where's it gonna come from?

From you. I'll fire you and divide
your salary among the other men.

B-B-B-But, Mr. Slate.

Beat it, Flintstone.

If you hurry, you can make it
to the unemployment office.

I don't know how I'm gonna
tell Wilma I lost my job, Barney.

She'll feel awful.

But you gotta tell her, Fred.

You can't hide a thing
like that from your wife.

Ooh, that Gazoo.

It's the last time
I'll take his advice.

Did I hear my name
mentioned?

Oh, it's you again.

Boy, you sure
fixed me up good.

Well, Flintstone,
you can't win 'em all.

Hey, uh, you, Gazoo, you got any
advice on how Fred should tell Wilma

He lost his jo--

Will you be quiet, Barney.

I told you I'm through
taking his advice.

What does he have to
tell her for?

"What does he have to
tell her for"? Oh, boy.

We have an old saying
on my planet--

What they don't know
won't hurt them.

Hmm, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah! Good.

I'm home, Wilma!
I'm home!

[Barks]

[Whimpers]

Hi, Fred.
What's the matter with Dino?

Huh?

Did anything happen
on the job today?

Huh? Uh, what are ya
talking about?

Well, look at Dino.
He seems to sense something.

You know his instincts.

[Howls]

Well, this time, there's something
wrong with his instinct.

Everything is ok.

[Howls]
Quiet, Dino.

Now, what's
for dinner?

Something you like, Fred.

Brontosaurus liver and
rockshire pudding.

Ah, mmm-Mmm-Mmm.

Are you sure
everything's all right?

Sure I'm sure.

And don't tell me you're
getting an instinct, too.

And stop staring at me, Dino.
You make me nervous.

[Howls]

Oh, boy.

[Snoring]

Fred! Fred, wake up!
You'll be late for work.

Wilma... huh?

I don't have to
go to work today, Wilma,

'Cause yesterday
I got... uh...

you got what?

I gotta get up
and go to work.

Well, whatever else
may be wrong, Fred,

There's certainly nothing the
matter with your appetite.

[Muffled speech]

Here's your lunch, Fred.

Say, what are you reading
the want ads for?

Huh? Well, why shouldn't I
read the want ads?

After all, people pay
good money to advertise.

How would you feel if you put an ad
in the paper and nobody read it?

Fred, I was only asking
a simple question.

And I gave you
a simple answer.

You sure did.

[Howls]

And what's
on your mind, nosy?

Well, I gotta go to... work.
So long, honey.

Fred, you forgot your lunch.

I did?

I put a surprise in it.
Yeah?

I made you
a gravelberry pie.

Oh, great.
Yummy-Yum-Yum-Yum.

Well, that's
the first time

Fat freddy ever forgot
his lunch, Dino.

I don't understand it.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

Hey, you're right, Fred.
They're aren't many jobs open.

At least for
the kind of work you do.

And just what do you
mean by that?

Let's face it, Fred.
You were a high-School dropout

long before it became
a status symbol. Ha ha ha ha.

[Sarcastic] ha ha ha ha.

Hey, by the way, Fred,
now that you're unemployed,

What are you gonna do
with yourself all day?

I'm gonna do what every
unemployed guy does--

Sit in the park
until the movie opens.

[Snoring]

So I said to the boss,
"go ahead and fire me,

But you'll come crawlin' on your
hands and knees to get me back."

But that was
over 2 years ago.

So? How fast can a guy crawl
on his hands and knees?

Psst. Hey, pal.

I haven't seen you
around here before.

Uh, no. I just
lost my job yesterday.

Oh, that's a shame.
Tell me, pal,

What did your wife say
when you told her?

I haven't told her yet.

Me, neither. I can never bring
myself to tell the little woman.

She's so sensitive,
so trusting.

How long have you been
out of work?

Let me see now...
um...uh...yeah.

Next month,
It'll be 18 years.

I see you brought
your lunch.

Uh-Huh.
You better eat it fast.

There are a lot of
moochers around here.

Oh, yeah? Maybe you're right.
Will you join me?

I don't mind if I do.

Ahem. Come back for me
in an hour.

I'm going to sit in the park
and get some sun.

Yes, mr. Safestone.

Gravelberry pie, huh?
It's simply delicious.

It's my wife's specialty.
Her own recipe.

Oh, it's out of this world.

Mmm. I never tasted
anything like it.

Oh, it's not that good.

If you don't believe me, we'll ask
an independent expert.

Hey, Hillary...

you want me?
Yeah.

Here, taste
this hunk of pie.

What is this, one of them
hidden-Camera shows?

When am I gonna be on TV?

How much do I get
for saying I like it?

De-e-e-licious.

Ah, here's
another customer.

Isn't that the greatest piece
of pie you ever tasted?

I tell you, young man,

That was the best pie
I ever tasted.

You say it's your wife's
own recipe, eh?

That's right, Mr. Safestone.
She thought it up all by herself.

Those pies are going to make you
a fortune, Flintstone.

I'll feature them in every one of my
safestone supermarkets from coast to coast.

Boy.

Have your wife make 'em
and freeze 'em.

I'll do the rest.

By the way, Flintstone, how many
do you think you can deliver

In the first order?
Well, let's see...

do you think 5
would be too many?

Think big, Flintstone.
I'll take 50 pies.

And here's half the money
to seal the bargain.

Gosh.

Yes, sir, this is
just the beginning.

Why, in no time at all,

They'll be calling you
"the gravelberry pie king."

The gravelberry pie king.

Ho ho. Hey,
that gives me an idea.

Just drop me off at this corner,
Mr. Safestone.

"Costumes."
This is the place.

[Humming]

Ok, your highness,
watch the birdie.

Oh, boy, I hate this job.

See what I mean?

I want you to print
50 of these pictures,

And on each one,
I want it to say,

"Fred Flintstone,
the gravelberry pie king."

Right.

And be careful with the negative.
I'll be needing plenty more.

Ok, your majesty.

50 pies?

Are you sure that crown
isn't a little too tight?

But, Wilma...

you meet some dingaling
in the park,

And right away, you're
in the pie business.

Now just a minute, Wilma.

That dingaling happens to be
P.J. Safestone,

Head of the Safestone
Supermarket Chain.

I wouldn't care if he were
the only link in the chain.

50 pies? That's impossible.

No, it isn't, honey.
The Rubbles are gonna help us.

Barney's already out back
building the icehouse.

The icehouse?

We gotta freeze the pies,
don't we?

I'm telling you, Wilma,
there's a fortune in this.

P.J.'s gonna pay us
40 cents for every pie.

I don't know, Fred.
It seems to me that--

You got to do it. I've already spent
the money P.J. advanced me.

[Rumbling]

- Barney, what's happening?
- Uh, nothin' Fred.

Just getting a load of ice
from the glacier ice company.

I still say
it isn't cold enough.

But, Fred, the ice has been
in there since yesterday.

I think
I better check it.

[Hums]

Hey, uh, Fred,
is it cold enough?

Hey, Fred.

Oh, boy, take it easy, Fred.
I'll defrost ya in a jiffy.

Places, everybody.

Roll those
gravelberry pies.

Ya-Ho!

[Barks]

Here's some more of 'em,
Barney. Oops.

Attaboy, gang.
Keep 'em coming.

Open the icehouse door, Barney.
Here's the last of 'em.

[Hums] Hey, Fred.

Uh-Oh.

Oh, boy,
take it easy, Fred.

I'll defrost ya
in a jiffy.

Well, there goes
the gravelberry pie king

and his prince charming.

I hope they deliver the pies
while they're still frozen.

I finally found out what
Fred was doing in the park.

He was fired from his job.

I know. Barney told me,
but I was sworn to secrecy.

How did Fred meet
this P.J. Safestone?

You know Fred.
He'll talk to anyone.

But thank heaven
it's all over.

Amen. By the way,
how much money did we make?

I don't know. I'll
have to figure it out.

Let's see, we get
40 cents a pie...

better step on it, Fred.
Those pies are beginning to melt.

Incidentally, Fred, how much
are we makin' on these pies?

I haven't stopped to figure
it out yet, but don't worry.

It'll be plenty.

I just hope Mr. Safestone
likes 'em.

Delicious. Delicious.

These pies will sell
like hotcakes.

Flintstone, with my plans
for merchandising,

You're going to be rich.

I'm giving you an order
for 500 more pies.

5-5-5-500?

And here's half your profits
in advance.

Boy, how about that, Barney?

We're on our way
to easy street.

By the way, Flintstone--

[Squawks]

Oh, boy.

That's the noon whistle.

Excuse me, mr. Safestone,
you were about to say...

oh, yes, I was
asking you gentlemen

If you'd care
to join me for lunch.

I and my partner
would be delighted.

Fine. Pull up a chair
and help yourself.

See ya later, Barney.

I'm goin' in and tell
Wilma the good news.

Oh, Wilma, have I got
some news for you!

And I have news for you

About your majesty's
latest business venture.

Yeah?

I've been doing
a little arithmetic.

Those pies we sold for 40 cents
cost us 52 cents to make.

So?

Fred, wake up. We're losing
12 cents on every pie.

We are?

All right,
now what's your news?

Well, um...

wait a minute,
don't tell me.

You've got an order
for another 50 pies.

Uh-Uh. 500.

What?!

Oh...

oh...

dah...

well, as they say, uneasy lies
the head that wears the crown

On the road to easy street.

So that's the way it is, Betty.
We're committed to making the pies

Because Fred has already spent the
advance money Mr. Safestone paid him.

Cheer up, Wilma.
It's only 500 pies.

Besides, we're partners.

Thanks, Betty.

If we live through this,
we can live through anything.

Better step on it, Fred.
Those pies are beginning to melt.

Ok, Barney, ok.

Just think, last time we
delivered pies to Mr. Safestone,

We were happy.

That was before we learned
the pitfalls of the pie business.

Yeah. Hey, have you figured out
how much we stand to lose

By this transaction?
No.

Well, I have.

500 times 12 cents.
That's 60 bucks.

If you ask me, I think the gravelberry
pie king ought to abdicate.

Nobody asked ya.

Oh, boy, there must be
some way out of this.

Oh, you know,
you two really turn me on.

What's the big problem?

You're selling pies for 40 cents
and losing 12 cents a pie.

Fred: that's right.

You raise your price
to 64 cents,

And you make 12 cents.
Yeah.

But, Fred, you agreed to
deliver the pies for 40 cents.

Whenever your cost goes up,
you pass it on to the customer.

Oh, but isn't that
breaking your promise?

What do you mean promise?
This is big business. Right, Mr. Gazoo?

You ought to know.
Hee hee hee. You're the king.

[Chuckles]

Well, at last the great Gazoo
gave me some advice I can use.

Making 12 cents is better
than losing 12 cents any day.

Wait a minute.
Why should I be a piker?

What do you mean, Fred?

Why should I be satisfied with
a measly 12-Cents profit

When I can make more?
Huh?

Sure. I'll raise the price
to 75 cents a pie.

Oh, I don't think mr. Safestone's
gonna like that, Fred.

So what? This is
a seller's market.

I got him just where
I want him.

75 cents a pie?

That's right, Mr. Safestone.

Being a fellow businessman,
you should understand

About rising
productions costs.

Yes, but 75 cents.
That's ridiculous.

That's my price.
Take it or leave it.

Well, I knew
you'd see it my--

I'm leaving it.

Wh-Wh-Wh-What?
What did you say?

You heard me.
I'm leaving it. Out.

B-B-B-But, mr. Safestone,
you can't.

What am I gonna do
with all these pies?

You can...

[whistle blows]

Excuse me, Mr. Safestone.

That whistle was making
so much noise,

I didn't hear what you said
I could do with those pies.

How do ya like that
safestone?

What a double-Crosser
he turned out to be.

Boy, he's sure got us
in a great spot now.

Well, if you'll pardon
my frankness, Fred,

I'd say you got yourself
in a spot.

Barney, please. This is
no time to blame anybody.

Question is, what are we
gonna do with the pies?

Wait a minute.

I just got an idea.

There, that ought to do it.
[Reads]

Now, Barney, you wait on all the
cars that come from that direction,

And I'll take care of the cars
from this direction.

Ok, Fred.
Here comes one now.

Oh, well.
Here comes another.

That's ok.
Here's one. Oops.

And another.

I guess the price
was too high, Barney.

Now we won't have
any trouble sellin' em.

And you'll still
make a profit.

But at 40 cents, you'll
be losin' money, Fred.

I know, Barn, but the pies
are beginning to melt.

Daah, this isn't working out.
Let's go home.

I guess you're right.

Wait a minute, Fred.
Someone's stoppin'.

- Uh-Oh.
- Good afternoon, officer.

And what can we
do for you?

You can show me your license to
conduct business on a public highway.

Uh, license?
That's right.

You gotta have a license
to sell those pies.

Well, the joke's on you,
officer. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

We didn't sell any.
Ha ha ha ha.

Take it easy, fella.
Take it easy.

Well, here we are, Fred.
Back to the scene of the crime.

I don't know why it is,
Barney,

But the harder
I try to get ahead,

The farther back I always end up.
Why is that?

I don't know, unless it's
because you don't have any--

I mean, um...uh...
I sure don't envy you

Having to go in
and tell Wilma.

Yeah. So long, Barney.

Yeah, adios.

All right, Fred, there's no sense
blaming yourself.

The question is, what are we
gonna do with those pies?

Maybe we can give them away.
I already tried that.

We can't just let them
sit out there and spoil.

Wait, I have an idea.
Where you goin'?

Never mind.
You just stay here

And don't make any big
deals while I'm gone.

Oh, boy.

[Snoring]

Fred. Oh, Fred!

Wh-What?

Well, how do I look?

What's the idea? What are you
doin' in that outfit?

It's quite simple.

I went to mr. Safestone's office and
talked him into buying the pies.

You did? How?

By selling the recipe
with them.

He's gonna make
the pies now,

And he gave me $100
to cover our losses.

A hun-- But, Wilma,
there's only 50 bucks here.

I know, I know. I had
to pay the photographer.

They're putting my picture
on all the pies.

I'm the new
gravelberry pie queen.

Gravelberry pie queen?

And I did something else,
too, Fred.

On my way home,
I stopped at the quarry

And asked mr. Slate
to give you your job back.

Ho ho, oh, gosh,
you're wonderful, wil--

I mean, your majesty.

Shall we dance?

With pleasure.

But you're still
my king around here.

And you're still the queen
of my heart.

Oh, Fred.

Ha ha ha ha.

[Both laugh]

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone-Age family

From the town
of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred
will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out
for the night

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have
a gay old time

We'll have
a gay old time

Wilma!