The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 6, Episode 5 - Circus Business - full transcript

This is uncanny.

Every time we wanna
go on a ride,

Everybody else
gets the same idea.

Boy, they sure do
a great business here.

I wouldn't mind owning
this carnival myself.

Yeah, Fred, this might
be just the place

To invest a newly acquired
Flintstone fortune.

You're laughing, Barney,
but I really would like

To buy this carnival.

Mr. Flintstone,
I accept this as a firm offer.

Huh? But-But...



buster, you just
bought yourself a carnival.

But-But-But I don't have
that kind of money.

This is all I have.

Fine. I'll take it
as a down payment. Sign here.

Oh, you drive
a hard bargain, Flintstone.

Oh. I almost forgot.

Here.

The hat's
part of the deal.

[Toot]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history



Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy

Of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

Morning, Mrs. Flintstone.

Good morning, Mr. Marble.
Any mail for us today?

The usual.

Bills, bills, bills.

In that case,
I'm not interested.

Give the mail to the lord
of the exchequer.

He was here a minute ago
mowing the lawn.

Oh, there he is.

In the hammock,
resting his eyes.

[Snoring]

How do you like that?

The 3 snoozers.

Fred, Dino, and Mow.

Mow?

That's short
for "lawn mower."

Oh.

[Toot toot]

Huh? Yeah, yeah. Oh.

Oh, oh.
Hello, Mr. Marble.

Ruff ruff ruff!

Quiet, Dino.
Anything for me today?

Yeah. I have
a couple for you.

Ruff ruff ruff!

Hey, down, boy! Down!
This mail isn't for you.

Give it all, Mr. Marble.
I have him trained.

Ruff ruff!

Ok, if you say so.
Here, boy.

All right, Dino,
bring it here.

Uh-Uh. Uh-Uh.

I thought
you had him trained.

Dino, I said
bring it here.

Uh-Uh.

Nice boy,
give daddy the mail.

Uh-Uh.

Come back here,
you dimwitted dinosaur!

Huh?

Oh, so he wants
to play games, huh?

His brain against mine.

I'll show him.

Oh, Dino!

Huh?

Gotcha.

Ha ha ha ha!

Ok, wise guy,

Where's the mail?

Aha! You buried it.

Hey, that's quite
a trick, Mr. Flintstone.

When did Dino
teach you that?

Very funny.
Very funny.

Ouch. I hate
these tough shrubs,

But they are
kind of tasty.

Wilma. Wilma!

Wilma, look. Look.

Shh. Fred, quiet.
You'll wake Pebbles.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Look what came
in the mail.

It's a refund
on my income tax,

A check for $37.50.

$37.50?

Yippee!

Shh.

Huh?

[Crying]

Now look what
you made me do.

It's all right, Pebbles.
Look what daddy got.

[Crying]

It's a check.

Goo. Goo-Ga.

Oh, boy, they sure
learn young.

I got to hand it
to you, Fred.

It's not easy to get a refund from
the government these days.

You're right, Barney.

You got to be pretty smart,
know all the ends and outs.

You said it.

How did you
get yours, Fred?

I, uh, made a mistake
adding up my tax.

Oh. Have you decided

what you gonna do
with this windfall, Fred?

Where are you gonna stick it,
in a bank or maybe invest it?

Oh, boy, you're as bad as Wilma
with those nutty suggestions.

It's my refund.
I worked hard for it,

And I'm gonna decide
what to do with it.

Oh, yeah. Sure, Fred.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Everybody trying to tell me
what to do with my dough.

[Music playing]

What's that?

"Rollem & Clippem Carnival."

Oh, boy. A carnival's
coming to town.

Yeah. 50 famous acts.

Hey, that's
really something.

Hey, look.

The sideshow acts.

Hey, Fred, get a load
of that guy.

Yeah.

What are you staring at?

You never seen a guy
in a tuxedo before?

Barney, I just got an idea
what to do with my refund check.

I'll take the family
to the carnival.

Hey, that's
a great idea, Fred.

I'd take my gang, too,

But I'm a little
short this week.

Well, you've always
been short, my compact pal.

No, Fred. I mean,
I'm suffering

from financial anemia.

Well, don't give it
a second thought, Barney boy.

I'm inviting you
and your family

to come along as my guests.

Yeah? Oh, gosh, that's
mighty swell of you, Fred.

As soon as I finish
with this painting,

I'll tell Betty
the good news, ok?

Yeah, yeah. Sure.
You do that.

By the way, what is that
you're painting?

This.

"Wet paint."
Where is it?

On that chair
you're sitting in.

Huh?

Oh, boy.

Hey, Mrs. Rollem,
is your husband in?

We wanna talk to him.

He's in the wagon
taking his morning nap.

Come on out, Rollem.
We want our money.

We haven't been paid
in over a month.

Yeah, and if we don't
get our money, we quit.

Right?
Right.

Friends, loyal employees,

Please, you'll
get your money.

When?

As soon as I get it
from the customers.

You know nobody wants
to come to a carnival

When there aren't
any people around.

So I want you all
to spread out

and make it
look like a crowd.

Pretend you're customers.

Ok. But if we don't get
our money by tonight,

We're quitting.

Yeah, or we'll go
on a hunger strike.

You do it your way,
I'll do it mine.

Who you trying
to kid, stanley?

You know
you can't pay them.

Will you let me
run my own business?

And you know how
I hate to see you

bent over a hot
washtub like that.

Can't you do it someplace else
where I can't see you?

Oh, sorry, your highness.

Boy, am I sick
of this racket.

If I could only sell
and get out from under.

Are you kidding?

No one will be crazy enough to
buy this broken-Down carnival.

Oh, you'd be
surprised, Gwendolyn.

This is a big world,
and somewhere in it

There's a patsy just
made to order for me.

And for all we know,

he may be on his
way here right now.

Oh, boy.
I just love a carnival.

Makes me feel
like a kid again.

Me, too.

When I was little,
I told my mother

I was gonna run away
and join a carnival.

Yeah? What did she say?

She said, "you don't have
to run. I'll drive you."

Oh, Barney, you always
tell that story

and I don't think
it's a bit funny.

You see that, Fred?

My own wife doesn't
appreciate my sense of humor.

Now, remember, folks,
when we get to the carnival,

Everything is on me.

And you better remember
what happened

last time you went
to the carnival, Fred.

You gave the man
a $10 bill,

And he only
gave you change for a 5.

Well, don't worry
about me, Wilma.

They can't fool
ol' Freddy Flintstone twice.

Get your tickets
here, folks.

At least let me buy the
tickets to get in, huh, Fred?

Nothing doing, Barn.

Besides, I got to break
this 10-Spot anyway.

4 tickets?
That'll be $2.00.

Here are you tickets,
and there's your change.

3, 4, 5.

Hey, come on, Fred.
Let's go.

Be right with you,
barn. 3, 4, 5.

Hey. Hey, mister,
I think you made a mistake.

I made a mistake?

Yeah. I gave you a 10,

And you only
gave me change for a 5.

Now, how could that
have happened? I'm sorry.

Give me the money.
Yeah.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Unbelieve--

Gwendolyn!
Gwendolyn! Gwendolyn!

What do you want now?

He's here. He's here.

Who's here?

My patsy.

The guy we're gonna
unload this carnival on.

Aren't you happy?

I don't know.

I kind of hate
to leave show business.

Fred, my feet
are killing me.

We've been waiting
in this line over an hour.

Honey, can I help it

If they're doing
such a good business?

Ok, folks,
fasten your seat belts.

Hang on, everybody.

This ride is
a real thriller.

Ooh, I'm scared already.

Listen to them, Barney.

Now, Wilma, there's
nothing to be scared of.

Right, betty.
You're safe in my arms.

Here we go.

Wow! Are we up high.

What a view.

Aah! Whee!
Aah!

Aah! Whee!
Aah!

Relax, Barney.

You're safe in my arms.

Yeah, Fred. There's
nothing to be afraid of.

G-G-Golly, Barn.

Look where we are.

This must be
the world's longest ride.

You're telling me.

N-N-Now, how
do we get down?

Hey, watch it!

Whee!

Oh, that was fun.

Fred, are you all right?

Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm-I'm having a ball.

How about all of us
having a bronto burger?

Betty, please.

Look. Let's go
on the merry-Go-Round.

There's no line there.

Wilma: ok, let's hurry.

Oh, dear. Every time
we wanna go on a ride,

It's crowded.

Hey, look.
The ferris wheel's empty.

Let's go on that.

The ferris wheel.
The ferris wheel.

This is uncanny.

Every time we wanna
go on a ride,

Everybody else
gets the same idea.

Boy, they sure do
a great business here.

I wouldn't mind owning
this carnival myself.

Yeah, Fred, this might
be just the place

To invest a newly acquired
Flintstone fortune.

You're laughing, Barney,
but I really would like

To buy this carnival.

Mr. Flintstone,
I accept this as a firm offer.

Huh? But-But...

buster, you just
bought yourself a carnival.

But-But-But I don't have
that kind of money.

This is all I have.

Fine. I'll take it
as a down payment. Sign here.

Oh, you drive
a hard bargain, Flintstone.

Oh. I almost forgot.

Here.

The hat's
part of the deal.

Strange, Fred. Now that
you own the carnival,

The rides aren't
crowded anymore.

Yeah. The ferris
wheel's empty, too.

And it's
staying empty.

Never mind that.

Let's take a look
at my carnival.

And remember, everything
is on the house.

[Drum beating]

Ladies and gentlemen,

May I have
your attention, please?

What's this, Fred?

I don't know, Wilma.
I'm new here, too.

May I call your attention
to this 400-Foot ladder.

All: ooh!

You will see
a death-Defying feat

Performed right before
your very eyes.

Daredevil rocky rockhead
will do a triple somersault

From the top of the ladder

And land on this
pile of rocks.

All: ooh!

Oh, boy, Fred, you couldn't
get me to climb that ladder

For a million bucks.

I suffer from height--
Uh, height-Drophobia.

It sure looks dangerous.

I'll give him a raise
if he lives.

[Clang]

He made it.

Anybody got something
for a headache?

Ladies and gentlemen,

May I present to you
the great herculo,

Strongest man in the world.

All: ooh!

Betty:
look at those muscles.

Isn't he magnificent?

Oh, I don't know.

Ugga-Ugga.

Bamm-Bamm, come back here.

Hey, put that down.

Bamm-Bamm
bamm-Bamm-Bamm.

Yaah!

Ooh-Ow!

Hey, scram, kid.
You're too dangerous.

Yeah. Bamm-Bamm's
the world's strongest kid.

Now be a good boy, bamm-Bamm,
and watch the show.

And now,
ladies and gentlemen,

The great Herculo
will lift 6 people

On a baby grand piano...

[grunting]

All: ooh!

While playing a piano
duet with one hand.

All: ooh!

Isn't it marvelous?

It's ok, if you like
that long-Hair stuff.

Ah, dear.
This has been a day.

Imagine Fred Flintstone
a carnival tycoon.

Yeah, and I hope
you make a million with it, Fred.

I intend to, Barney.

I have big plans
for this carnival.

It's a regular gold mine.

If it's such
a gold mine, Fred,

I don't understand why mr.
Rollem let you have it so cheap.

Relax, Wilma.

You're looking
at a shrewd businessman.

I'm gonna make a fortune--

Come on, Flintstone!
We want our money!

What's that?

You heard us,
Flintstone.

We want our money.

And we want it now.

I don't understand
what you're talking about.

What money?

Our salaries.

We haven't been paid
in 6 weeks.

And if we don't get
our money, we're quitting.

Yeah, and that goes
for all of us.

Me, the strong man,
rover the dog-Face boy.

Yeah, we're all quitting.
Right, rover?

Speak.

Ruff! Uh, I mean, uh, yeah.

You darn tootin'.

Now, wait a minute.

When you bought the assets
of this carnival,

You also got
the liabilities.

That means us.

But-But-But
I haven't any money.

Then we're walking out.

Come on, everybody.

Please, madam Rocksand,
won't you reconsider?

I can't run a carnival
without any acts.

Sorry, Flintstone.
I'd like to stay,

But I don't see
any future in it.

Listen, Gummo.

What's a sideshow
without a rubber man?

Can't you stay
for a while?

Sorry, Flintstone.
If you don't have my dough,

I'll just bounce over
to another sideshow.

So long, pal.

Uh-Oh.

Forgot my bag.

Now, Flintstone,
I'd like to help you out,

But a man can't live
on promises.

After all, a woman
needs some security.

I'm not getting
any younger, you know.

I've already taken
2 salary cuts.

If I weren't half a man,
I'd have quit long ago.

But, sir--I mean lady.

Sorry. It's out
of the question.

So long, Flintstone.

Well, mr. Carnival king,
what now?

Since you can't run
a carnival without acts,

I guess there's nothing
to do but go home.

Uh, excuse me.

You the proprietor
of this here carnival?

Yeah. You wanna buy it?

Buy it? I wouldn't give you
more than 2 cents for it.

I accept that
as a firm offer.

Now, look, wise guy,

What time
does the show go on?

There isn't gonna be
a show, sheriff.

All the acts
walked out on me.

You advertised a show,

And you're gonna
put one on.

And supposing
he doesn't?

Then I'll throw him in jail
for misrepresentation.

How do you
like that, Barney?

Throw me in jail just
for not putting on a show.

Well, who said I'm not?

Come on, everybody.

As they say in showbiz,
the show must go on!

Step right up, folks.
Get your tickets here.

Get your tickets here.

No pushing, please.
Stay in line.

Oh, betty,
what are we gonna do?

Cheer up, Wilma.

We may not have
any acts or customers,

But we do have a band.

You better
hurry up, Fred.

We've got a crowd
waiting out there.

A crowd?
Let me see. Let me see.

3 people.
You call that a crowd?

You never heard
"three's a crowd," Fred?

Oh, boy.
Come on. Let's go.

Ladies and gentlemen,

In the center ring,

Reckless rubble,

The human cannonball.

[Applause]

Hey, Fred,
can't we talk this over?

With good behavior,

you could be out in
a couple of years.

Will you keep quiet
and get in there.

Ok.

But just watch
where you're aiming.

Thank you. Thank you.

Now in this corner,

Direct from down under
in Australiarock,

We present
Hurricane Hoparoo...

and his opponent,

Dynamite Dino,

The dancing dinosaur.

Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah.

Hurry up
with the bronto burger, lady.

I don't wanna miss any part
of the show. It's great.

Come on, betty. Let's go
see how the boys are doing.

And now fearless Flintstone

Will ride a motorcycle
on the high wire,

No hands and blindfolded.

Poor Fred. I'm worried.

He'll be all right,
Wilma. I hope.

Look, folks. No hands.

Look out, Fred! Look out!

Eeh!

Fred!

[Crowd gasps]

That a boy, Fred.

Take off the blindfold
and you'll be ok.

Oh, no.

[Gulps]

Helllllp!

Don't worry, Fred.
I'll save you.

Not bad. Not bad.

With a little training,

That kid will be
as strong as me.

And now, folks,

May I call your attention
to this 400-Foot ladder.

Fearless Flintstone
will perform

His death-Defying leap
before your very eyes.

[Crowd gasps]

Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh-Uh.

Awk! Well, go ahead.

What's the matter?
You chicken?

How about that?
Landing in water.

That gives the high-Diving act
a whole new twist.

Hey, Fred, are
you all right?

Yeah. I'm all right.

Look at that poor
Mr. Flintstone

knocking his brains out.

Maybe we shouldn't
have walked out on him.

Yeah. It makes me
feel like a heel.

Flintstone's really
not a bad guy.

What do you say we all ask
for our jobs back?

All: yeah! Yeah!

I hope Flintstone don't
think we're two-Faced.

Wilma: cheer up, Fred.
You did your best.

At least the sheriff's
not gonna put you in jail.

I think you fellas
put on a swell show.

- Oh, Mr. Flintstone.
- Who's that?

It's all the acts.
They came back.

Can you come out,
mr. Flintstone?

We wanna talk to you.

You wanna talk to me?

We sure do.

Let me tell him.

Mr. Flintstone, we want
our old jobs back.

With the improvements
you've made...

we think the carnival
could be a success.

Gosh, folks, thanks.

But I don't think I wanna
own a carnival anymore.

Then this carnival
must be for sale.

It sure is.

Fine. Here's your money back.

I'll use some of your
new ideas and clean up.

Thanks. Oh, mr. Rollem,
you got 2 5s for this 10?

Why, of course.

Thank you.
And here's your 10.

Oh, wait a minute.
On second thought,

I think I'd rather
have my 10 back.

Why, certainly.
Thank you.

Don't mention it.

Eh...eh, where's my 2 5s?

How do you like that?

Boy, they sure
learn fast, don't they?

So you see, Wilma,
all's well that ends well.

I got my dough back
plus a fancy hat.

You were lucky, Fred.

But you better let me take care
of the money from now on

So you don't spend it
on something foolish.

Oh, boy.

Hey, what's
that guy doing?

Hey, friend,
what are you doing?

Drilling for oil.

I think there's oil
on my property.

Oil?

I really shouldn't
be here, though.

The doctor told me
to move to a drier climate.

Say, you wouldn't care
to buy me out, would you?

Well, I don't know.

Um, how much?

All: Fred!

Heh heh heh!
Sorry, friend.

Forget it. I got to go.

Oh, well.

Oil!

Oil! It's a gusher!

I'm rich! Rich!

I'm a millionaire!

Well, mr. Tycoon,
won't you ever learn?

Yeah, Fred.
That was close.

Oh, boy.

Thanks, guys.
If it weren't for you,

I'd probably be stuck
with a phony oil well.

I'm glad my mother didn't
raise any stupid children.

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're

With the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!