The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 6, Episode 3 - The Return of Stony Curtis - full transcript

Stoney Curtis is in town shooting a film. To promote it, a contest offers the prize of Stoney as slave for a day. Wilma and Betty win, and Fred sets Stoney to work as if he really were a ...

Good evening,
Mrs. Flintstone.

I'm Stoney Curtis,
your slaveboy.

Stoney c-C-Curtis?

Stoney Curtis!
Yaaahh!

Stoney Curtis.

Stoney Curtis.

Stoney Curtis.

Stoney Curtis.

Stoney Curtis!

Stoney Curtis.

Betty, get over here!
It's Stoney Curtis!



[Toot]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy

Of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

Isn't he gorgeous,
Betty?



Absolutely dreamy.

Read the headlines
again, Wilma.

With pleasure.

"Stoney Curtis,
famous Hollyrock movie star,

"Checks in at Sandstone
Hotel this morning.

"New movie,
entitled Slaveboy,

Will be filmed
here in Bedrock."

Why don't we go down
and see him in person?

Great idea!

Fred can drop us off
on his way to work,

Which reminds me...

Fred, breakfast
is ready!

Be right there, Wilma!
I'm just combing my hair!

Hmm...

There. That's better.

Now I'm my normal,
well-Groomed self.

Good morning, girls.

Mind if I have
a look at the paper

while I eat?

Mmm...that's what I call
a real he-Man.

What gets me is
that cute little nose.

It's that manly chin
that always appealed to me.

Ha ha ha!

And those crazy
long lashes.

And the color
of those eyes.

Did you ever see
such a deep green?

Ha ha ha!

They happen to be
robin's-Egg blue.

Green!

Don't you think I know the
color of my own eyes?

Your eyes?

Did you think we were
talking about you?

Well, weren't you?

Ha ha ha!

Oh, Fred!

We were talking about
Stoney Curtis.

Look at the back
of your newspaper.

Oh, you mean
Stoney Curtis the actor.

He ain't so hot.

Take away
his make-up,

And what
do you got?

I don't know,
but I'll take it.

These Hollyrock guys
sure got you fooled.

Sit around a
swimming pool all day,

waited on
hand and foot.

A good day's work
would kill him.

Is that so?

Yeah. And this picture
of Stoney Curtis--

Don't you know
it's retouched?

If you saw him in person,
he'd be nothing.

We'd like to go and look
at some of that nothing.

We thought you and
Barney wouldn't mind

dropping us off
at the Sandstone Hotel.

It's on your way
to work.

O.K., O.K.

All it's
going to do

Is make you
appreciate me more.

Stoney Curtis.
Ohhh.

Imagine, Barney, going
all the way downtown

to look at
a movie star.

Well, he is kind of
good-Looking, Fred--

A cute little nose,
manly chin,

Crazy long lashes,
deep green eyes.

Aw, knock it off!

There's the hotel,
Fred!

Drop us
at the corner.

O.K., But I'm sure
disappointed in you girls.

Wilma, will you
look at that?

Every woman in Bedrock must
be here to see Stoney Curtis!

And here he is!

Come on, Betty!
Let's get up close!

[Women screaming]

Ladies, please!

It's Stoney!

Yoo-Hoo, Stoney!

He's adorable!

Get his autograph!

Oh, boy.

Girls, please.

Will you hold it
for a minute?

Listen, my director
Rocco Hemminger

has an announcement
to make.

In celebration of Stoney's
new picture, Slaveboy,

We are going to have
a lucky sweepstakes.

The winner will have Stoney
as their personal slaveboy

For one day.

Fill out your cards
in the lobby, girls,

and good luck.

Did you hear that,
Wilma?

What are we waiting for?
Let's fill out a card.

Easy, Mildred.
That's a heavy rock.

All right.
Let's go.

Boy, what a long day
this is.

That slave driver
boss of mine

waits till
the last second

before he'll blow
that whistle.

10, 9, 8, 7,

6, 5, 4, 3,

2, 1!

[Aaahhh]

Quitting time!

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Good night, Mildred.

Good night,
Freddy.

Hi, Barney.

Sorry to keep
you waiting,

but that miserable
boss of mine,

that tightwad Mr. Slate

wouldn't think of
letting you quit

a half a second
before 5:00.

I'm telling you,
Barney,

He's the meanest,
most--

Ixnay, edfray.
It's Mr. Ateslay.

Huh? Wh-What?

Hello, Flintstone.

Mr. Slate!

Hiya, boss.

We was just talking
about you.

Yes, I know.

Phone call
for you...slave!

Uh, thanks, Mr. Slate.

Like I was saying,
Barney,

Mr. Slate's
a swell boss--

Thoughtful, kind,

Easygoing,
generous--

Knock it off,
Flintstone,

And answer
that phone!

Y-Y-Yes, sir.

Hello.
Flintstone speaking.

Who? Rocco Hemminger?

That's right,
Flintstone.

The famous
Hollyrock director.

Congratulations.

You've won
the sweepstakes.

You get Stoney Curtis
to work for you

as your slaveboy.

Who, me?

What are you
talking about?

Your wife had
the winning ticket.

We haven't been able
to contact her.

Would you please
stop by the hotel

And pick up Mr. Curtis?

Nothing doing!

I don't want
no slaveboy around--

Ha ha ha!

Wait a minute.

You mean he's
got to work for me?

He's got to do
whatever I say?

That's right.
He's your slaveboy,

Just like in the movie
we're making.

You got yourself
a deal, pal!

I will be
right over!

Gee, Fred.
You sure are lucky.

Imagine having
Stoney Curtis

As your own slaveboy
for a whole day.

Ha ha ha!

This is going to be
rich, Barn.

Wilma thinks that Stoney
Curtis is such a great guy.

I'm going to show her
what a washout

these Hollyrock stars
really are.

Oh, I don't know,
Fred.

I always heard
he's a pretty nice guy.

You've been reading
too many movie magazines.

Looks like we lost out

on the sweepstakes
ticket, Betty,

But to pick up
my spirits,

I bought a jar
of that new beauty mud.

It's supposed to bring out
the new you.

I'll be satisfied if it
just hides some of the old me.

[Car approaching]

Uh-Oh. I hear Fred's car
pulling up.

Talk to you later, Betty.

Nice meeting you,
Barney.

Likewise, Mr. Stoney.

My pleasure.

See you in the morning,
Fred.

Nice guy, huh?

Yeah, and I'll
tell you something.

He ain't no phony.

Now, shall we
go inside?

Sure, but shouldn't we have called
your wife to let her know?

What for?
You're nothing special.

Come on.

Hey, Wilma!
I'm home!

Coming, Fred!

Dinner is almost...

ready.

Good evening,
Mrs. Flintstone.

I'm Stoney Curtis,
your slaveboy.

Stoney c-C-Curtis?

Stoney Curtis!

Yaaahh!

Stoney Curtis.

Stoney Curtis.

Stoney Curtis.

Stoney Curtis.

Stoney Curtis!

Stoney Curtis.

Betty, get over here!
It's Stoney Curtis!

Ah, good evening,
Frederick.

Frederick?

And Mr. Curtis.
What a pleasant surprise!

Wait a cottonpicking
minute!

What is this
pleasant surprise?

You saw us here
a minute ago!

That must have been
the maid.

Come in, Mr. Curtis.
Come in.

Thank you,
Mrs. Flintstone.

Wilma!

Oops.

Sorry, Fred.

[Grumbling]

Nice place you have
here, Mrs. Flintstone.

Oh, my,
nothing really.

What?

Oh, would you care for
some hors d'oeuvres?

[Ting-A-Ling]

Oh, Yvette!

Yvette?
Who's Yvette?

[French accent]
oui, madame.

You called?

Yes. Will you please serve
the hors d'oeuvres?

Oui, madame.

What's going on here?

That's not Yvette.
That's Betty.

You're confused,
Frederick.

Betty is
the upstairs maid.

Upstairs maid?

We don't have
an upstairs maid!

We don't even have
an upstairs!

Oh, Frederick.
You're so droll.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha. Droll? Look, Wilma,
I want to talk to you!

Will you excuse us
for a minute, slaveboy?

Sure.
Go right ahead.

All right, Wilma,

Now, what is this
all about?

Why is Betty making believe
she's our maid,

and why are you putting on
all these airs?

I'm just trying
to have things nice

for Stoney Curtis.

Isn't he dreamy?

Well, I won't have all this
phoney-Baloney going on in my house

just to impress
some movie actor!

It's just
this one time, Fred!

He seems real nice.

The deal is
he's our slave for a day.

I'm going to
put him to work,

Probably for the first time
in his life.

Then you'll see
what spoiled softies

these Hollyrock guys
really are.

Oh, slaveboy, when you
get the rocks moved

and the garage cleaned,

you can start building
the new wall.

Yes, sahib.
I hear and obey.

After that,
you can knock off

for some bread and
water for 10 minutes.

Flintstone,
you're all heart.

Ha ha ha!

Poor Stoney.

Fred's really taking
advantage of him.

Oooh! Sometimes
Fred makes me so mad!

I'm going to put a stop
to this nonsense!

Really, Stoney,
I'm so embarrassed.

Fred is just being
stubborn.

I don't mind.
The deal was for me to be a slaveboy.

But Fred is carrying
things too far.

I want you to stop
working right now.

You don't want me
to be a slave anymore?

Right.

Then I'll just have to
talk old Fred out of it.

How?

Leave it to me, Wilma.

A thousand pardons,
master.

How high should I
make the wall?

It don't matter.
A couple feet is O.K.

As you command,
master.

Wait a minute.
Say that again.

I said a couple feet high
is O.K.

Beautiful!
Such diction!

Obviously, you've
appeared on the stage.

Who? Me?

Come on, now.
Don't hold back on me.

I know a highly trained
voice when I hear it.

Ha ha! Well, now
that you mention it,

I was in a play once...

in grammar school.

I knew it. I knew it.

You've got actor
written all over you.

No kidding?

There's a part
in my movie

You'd be
perfect for.

Ah, but you'd
never consider it.

Back to work.

N-N-N-Now,
wait a minute!

What's all this
about a part for me?

Well, I can't talk
about it now.

I got to get
back to work.

Forget it, pal.
That was just a gag.

Tell me, mr. Curtis,

You really think
I could be in your movie?

You report on the set
tomorrow morning, Fred.

See you then.

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Hey, Wilma!

I was wrong
about Stoney baby!

He's a swell guy!

Well, I'm glad you finally
realized how wrong you are.

Yeah. Stoney convinced me
I'm in the wrong business.

Tomorrow morning,
I begin a whole new career.

What? What are you
talking about?

Tomorrow, Wilma,
a star is born.

And don't you worry,
my dear.

No matter
how famous I become,

It won't spoil me.

I'm going to be the same
sweet Fred Flintstone

You know and love.

Isn't it thrilling,
Barney?

Fred's going to be
an actor.

Ha ha! Stoney's giving
him a small part

Just for a gag.

I wish Fred would come out
of the house already

So I can
wish him luck.

I'll be late
for work.

[Fred in british accent]
good morning, barnard!

Holy mackerel!

And how are you,
mrs. Rubble,

And you,
my adorable wife?

It's a beautiful morning,
if I do say so myself.

Fred, what on earth are you
dressed up like that for?

Have you forgotten,
buttercup?

My new career starts today.

Fred Flintstone,
working man, is no more.

Say hello to Fred
Flintstone, movie star.

Movie star?

Stoney said it was
just a small part.

Just to introduce me
to my public, Wilma.

After that,
women will mob me.

They'll clamor
for my autograph,

For a lock
of my hair.

Don't worry, honey.

The screams of the adoring
mobs won't turn my head.

I intend to be a simple,
unspoiled movie god.

Movie god?

Yes, Wilma,
a new life beckons,

And we'll have to
get ready for it.

I've already turned in my
resignation at the quarry.

You quit your job?

And I'm selling
the house.

You mean you're
going to move? Where?

To Hollyrock, of course,
where us movie gods live.

So long, Wilma.

Don't want to keep them waiting
the first day, you know!

Fred, just a minute.
I want to talk to you.

No time, Wilma.
My public awaits!

Oh, this is awful!

I'd better call Stoney
and prepare him for this.

No. He hasn't arrived
yet, Wilma.

Is something wrong?

Wrong? I'll say.

He's quit his job and wants
to move to Hollyrock.

He thinks he's
a movie star.

Please, Stoney.
You've got to do something.

All right, Wilma.
Don't worry.

I'll take care of it.

Rocco, I want you
to do me a favor.

How much
will it cost me?

Nothing. I want you to make
Fred Flintstone my understudy.

Understudy! Are you
out of your mind?

Take it easy, Rocco.

He wants to be an actor,

and Mrs. Flintstone wants
me to discourage him.

Now, here's the plan.

Understudy? Of course
I can handle it.

Maybe I can do the same
for you someday, Stoney.

Ah, you're the director,
I presumpt.

I think my profile's better than
my full face, don't you?

Yes, it is only half
as frightening.

You better
report to wardrobe

And get your costume,
Fred.

We're ready to shoot.

Right, Stoney, baby.

For a guy who's going to
lose his job to me,

You're o.K.

All right, Stoney.
We're all set.

Roll 'em.

Ah, your royal highness,

I know I'm only
a slaveboy,

But I cannot resist
your beauty.

Kiss me, slaveboy.

Cut!

Understudy, you're on!

Who? Me?

Right, Fred. Pick up
where I left off.

But--But--But you were
about to kiss her.

Uh-Huh.
That's your job.

Go ahead.

Wilma won't like this.

Uh, do you mind?

Of course not, silly.
It's in the script.

Come on, Flintstone!
We got a picture to shoot.

Start acting!

Roll 'em!

Kiss me, slaveboy.

Aha!

You, a slaveboy,
dare kiss the queen?

All right. Cut!

You were great, Fred.
Sensational!

I was?

Mm-Hmm.
Real heart,

Like you were
really hurt.

Oh, it was nothing.
Just good acting.

Oh, boy. What a wallop
that guy had.

I don't like it,
slaveboy.

The king's guards can be
anywhere in these hills.

I am not afraid.

I've got to deliver
this message for the queen.

It's your life.
Good luck, slaveboy.

Cut!

O.K., Understudy,
get in there!

It's your life.
Good luck, slaveboy.

There he is!
There's slaveboy!

Let him have it!

Yikes! Help!

Cut! Print it!

You're
a natural, Fred.

I can see you were cut out
for this easy life.

Oh, boy.

Slaveboy, you are
about to meet your end.

You don't frighten me.

We'll see
how you feel

when the ferocious
ptrocadorus

wnters the arena.

Ptrocadorus, huh?

Only one, huh?

All right.
We'll make it three.

Cut! Get in there,
Flintstone,

And make it look good!

Yes, sir.

"Make it look good,"
he says.

This is your
big scene, Fred.

But what do I do?

Just stand here
and look brave.

See you later,
Fred.

All right! Roll 'em!

Let the ptrocadoruses in!

What the...

help! Help!

Great, Fred. Great!

Now, in the next scene,
you really act.

You meet the man-Eating
crocodile.

Man-Eating crocodiles?

Hold it, Stoney.
Hold it.

I've been thinking about
this acting business,

And it's not for me.

I'm too rugged
for this soft life.

I understand, Fred.

Come on.
I'll take you home.

I owe you an apology,
Stoney.

You're not a spoiled
softy after all.

You're a regular guy,
and I am no actor.

Thanks, Fred.

I didn't mean it
to be so rough on you.

I'm glad it was.
Knocked some sense into me.

If my boss
will take me back,

I'll be glad to be
plain old Fred Flintstone

And live right here
in Bedrock.

I'm afraid it's not going to be
quite that easy, Fred.

A man bought
our house today.

He's bringing his wife over
tonight to look at it.

He can't do that.

Gee,
I'm afraid he can.

I signed a contract

With the real-Estate agent
this morning

And told him I wanted
immediate action.

Oh, Fred, what'll we do?
I don't want to move.

Wait a minute.

He's coming over
tonight?

Uh-Huh.

I did a scene
in a movie once.

It just might work.

Want to try it?

You bet!

Anything!

Here's your chance
to be an actor, Fred.

I love it, willy.
It's just perfect.

We'll take it,

And don't try
to weasel out, Flintstone.

We got
the signed contract

You left
with the agent.

Weasel out? Me?
Not on your life.

I'm packed and ready
to move now.

[Doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

Oh, hello there!

Hiya, Wilma, baby.

Tiger.

Who's that?

Valentino Amoro,
our next-Door neighbor.

He's just
a neighbor?

Yeah. A friend
of the wife.

I'll introduce you

Right after
they break it up.

Say, who is
this enchantress?

Been holding out
on your old pal, huh?

Uh, this is
mrs. Rockendorf.

She's going to be
your new neighbor, Valentino.

Well, well, well.
How charming.

And your first name,
my little dove?

M-M-Mabel.

How lovely.

Tell me, Mabel.

Do you believe in
the good neighbor policy?

You say he lives
next-Door?

Yeah. He's an artist.
He's home all day.

Oh, Fred.
I can't leave!

I just couldn't
stand it!

My whole life
is here!

[Sobbing]

She must really like
this house.

Let's just say
she digs the neighborhood.

Mabel, my dear,
may I show you the garden...

by moonlight?

Love to!

Just a minute!
It's dark out there.

Of course.

I'd love to paint
your picture someday,

If I could get
some fireproof canvas.

I see now
why your wife

Doesn't want
to leave here.

I'll tell you what,
rockendorf,

I'll knock off $1,000.

Mabel,
come back here!

Make it 2,000!
Your wife will love it here!

That's what
I'm afraid of!

The deal's off,
Flintstone!

I wouldn't take
this house

If you gave it to me
for nothing!

Hey, mabel,
let's go home!

Oh, Fred. It worked!

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Ho! Ho!

Thanks to Stoney,
we have our house back!

I've got to admit,

You two did
a great job of acting.

I'm proud of you.

Oh, thanks, Stoney.

We'll always be
grateful.

So long, folks.
See you in the movies.

[Fred]
so long, Stoney!

Fred, did you hear
what he said?

Huh?
What do you mean?

He said I did
a great acting job.

So?

So I was thinking.

Maybe there's a part for me
in his next picture.

Are you kidding?

Oh, Stoney!
Just a minute!

I want to talk to you!

Wilma, come back here!

Now, cut it out, Wilma!

No more actors
in this house!

Wilma!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're

With the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!