The Flintstones (1960–1966): Season 6, Episode 23 - Jealousy - full transcript

When Fred chooses bowling over taking her to a ball, Wilma calls upon a rich, dashing old boyfriend to escort her to the ball instead. Fred ultimately decides to crash the ball later in the evening, escorting his own date--Barney, transformed into "Barbara" by the Great Gazoo.

Dabba doo
dum ba babba ba

Hiya, Fred.

Hi, Barney.
Tonight's the night--

The water buffalos'
annual bowling tournament.

I can't wait to throw
out that first ball.

Why are you working?

When you finish
those bushes,

You'll be too bushed
to bowl.

Barney, this is
the perfect exercise

to get those thumb
muscles in shape.

Very nice!
Oh, very nice!

The Flintstone

High style
in everything.

Why not get that Gazoo
character to do this?

I've had enough
of his magic.

I hope
he's gone back

to whatever
planet he's from.

Gazoo is a nut.

Sticks and stones
may break my bones,

But names
will never hurt me.

You boys need any magic?

Yeah. Vanish.
Nobody needs you.

You're going bowling tonight.
Your wife know?

My wife's got nothing
to do with it.

You're forgetting

I'm not forgetting anything!
Just vanish.

O.K., Dum-Dum.

Don't say
I didn't tell you.

What was he saying?

Oh, nothing.
He don't know nothing.

Hi, Fred, Barney.

Do you like it?

Like what?

My new hairdo,

Oh, that!

Why didn't you ask me
for a haircut?

If I can do a hedge,
I can do you!



meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy

Of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a Yabba-Dabba-Doo

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

Why so dolled up,

The women's club
violin recital's tonight.

Don't stay
out here.

We'll leave
in an hour.

I'll lay out
your tuxedo.

Oh, no.
The violin recital.

I forgot
all about it.

Ha ha!

And likewise,
ho ho!

I tried
to tell you, pal.

Oh, beat it,
will you?

A violin recital.
You'll love it.


Lots more fun
than bowling.

You wear your tux

and sit
in a stuffy room

with a bunch
of long-Haired squares.

Hey, Fred, now you
and Wilma both have

a new hairdo
for tonight.

It ain't funny.

Peace, friend.
I want to help you.

That's my mission
around here.

your hair back.

about the bowling.

Beat it.
I'll handle it.

I'll tell Wilma I won't
go to any violin recital

because I am
going bowling.

You can bowl
some other time.

Take Wilma
to the recital.

What are you,
a troublemaker? Scram!

Now he's mad. What will
you do about bowling?

Relax, Barney. I will
think of something.

The mastermind
is at work.

Yeah. I bet
his head hurts.

Hmm hmm hmm
hmm hmm hmm

what's the matter?

nothing, Wilma.

Nothing at all.

Fred, tell me.

Ooh, just a headache,
I guess.

You'd better
lie down.

All right,
just for a minute.

You were O.K. Before.
What happened?

All that hot sun
out there.

If he thinks
it's hot out there,

He should try this.

But I'm still going

with you to the violin
recital tonight,

Even if it's
the last thing I ever do.


We're staying home.

We're staying home?

I couldn't
leave you like this.

Ooh, but you've
got to go.

Don't be brave
just for me.

I'm not being brave!

Now, now, listen, Wilma.

You go out tonight
and enjoy yourself.

That's all that matters
is your happiness.

Boy, you did get
a lot of sun.

I'll bring the ice.

Psst, Fred. Is the
bowling game still on?

Absolutely. Leave it
to the old mastermind.

Uh-Oh. Wilma.

I hate to miss
the recital.

An old school chum
is in town.

We could have all
gone together.

Yeah. Too bad.

Wilma, did you say
"old school chum?"

Wilbur Tawilogorock.

He was our class poet.

He's quite
a musician himself.

I know he'd love
the recital.

Well, Wilma,
that settles it.

You go with Wilbur

I'll be fine,

And since you have a new
hairdo and a new dress...

you don't mind my going
out with another man?

Heh heh!
Come on, Wilma.

I'm a mature

There's not a jealous
bone in my body.

Hi, Fred, Wilma.

Hey, uh...
what's that?

What's it look like?
A block of ice.

Wow! Betty
never hit me

With anything
like that!

Fred has
a terrible headache.

Oh, gee,
that's tough.

I guess
you don't

Feel much
like bowling.

would you get me

Some of those
headache pills?

Yes, dear.

You knucklehead!
I'm faking the headache

To get out
of the recital.

Is it working?

Like a charm! Wilma's going
out with some poet,

And get the name--
Wilbur Tawilogorock.

Hee hee hee!

When you see them leave,
pick me up.

Yeah, right, Fred.

The mastermind
has done it again.

We got a whole
glorious night ahead

Of setting them up
and knocking them down!

Ah! Ah! Ah!

La ta too
dee dee da dum

You have everything
you'll need?

Absolutely, dear.

[Knock on door]

That must be Wilbur.
Please let him in.

Tell him
I'm almost ready.

With pleasure, honey.

Ha ha! Cute little Wilbur,
the egghead poet.

Ho ho ho!

Good evening.
I'm Wilbur Tawilogorock.

Y-Y-You're w-W-Wi...
oh, no!

May I come in?

Oh, s-s-sure, yeah!

Thank you.

I'm Fred Flintstone,
Wilma's husband.

She is married.

How nice.

Got a headache?

No...oh, you mean this.
I'm beginning to.

Mind if I sit down?
Thank you.

No, go right ahead.

Uh... my wife Wilma
tells me

You're an old school chum.

Right. Used to
carry her books.

When we were young,

Our parents thought
that Wilma and I...

well, you know
how parents are.

Oh, yeah.
Sure, sure.

Heh heh heh!


so, you're going
to the recital

With Wilma, my wife.

forward to it.

She's a very
attractive woman.

Oh, well, I don't know.
Heh heh heh!

She was the prettiest
girl in our class'--

Dear old cupcake.


That was my pet name
for her.

Your, uh...
your pet...

would you excuse me?

Wilbur here?

Yeah, he's here.

Tell him
I'll be right out.

Oh, no hurry, dear.

How do I look Fred?

You know, I'm not sure
that dress is exactly right

for a violin recital.

But it's
the latest style--

An original Orockassini
from Paris.

This is more like it,
and it's warmer.

Concert halls
are drafty.

Silly. The women's
club has the latest

In air-Rock
heat conditioning.

Yeah, they would.

[Piano playing]

That must be Wilbur.

Oh, he's
so talented.

Don't you
think so, dear?

Ha! I mean,
uh... yeah.

You know, honey,
I was just thinking,

We've been married
now 10 years.

Not quite. 9 1/2.

Well, closer
to 10 than 9.

Yes, I suppose so.
What's the point?

Close to 10 happy,
happy years...

very happy years.
Remember that.

Tell Wilbur I'll be
ready in a jiffy.

Oh, boy... ugh.

Uh... Wilma and I
were just talking

about how
time flies.


Yep. We've been married
now 10 happy years.

9 1/2. I remember
the wedding invitation.

Well, closer
to 10 than 9.

You married?


Must be dull
for a bachelor

to take out
a married woman.

Matter of fact,
I find them more interesting.

You do?

Ahem. Excuse me.

Uh... putting on
lipstick, eh?


With your
natural coloring,

You don't really
need any.

you're sweet.

Would you hand me
the perfume, dear?

Wilbur must be
getting impatient.

"Purple passion


Sweetheart, you don't
want to wear this stuff.

Why not?

It just doesn't
match up with your, uh...


Oh, Fred, how would
you know, a man?

Honeybun, you know
that spotted-Glink stole

You've been wanting?

I'm going to buy that
for you tomorrow.

How nice!

You're entitled
after 10 happy years.

For the last time,
it's 9 1/2.

She'll be
a minute longer.

You know, make-up.

Takes a little
longer every year.


No, thanks.
Never got the habit.

All those years in training
for the Olymprocks.

The olymprocks?

Weight lifting.

Weight lifting?

Well, if you're
in training,

You'll be
home early.

The season's over.
I can dance till dawn.

But it ain't a dance,
it's a recital.

There's dancing afterward
in the rose garden.

Should be nice.
There's a full moon tonight.

Full moon.

Uh... ahem.
Excuse me.

What time do you suppose
you'll be home, dear?

Oh, I don't know.
12:00... 12:30.

Let's say 12:00.

It might be later.

We won't be leaving
till 12:00.

All right. It's 7 miles
at 30 miles an hour.

That's about 15 minutes.

That puts you here
at 12:15.

Hmm... I suppose so.

Not that it makes
a difference to me,

But in case anyone
calls for you,

I can say you'll
be back at 12:15.

Nobody will
be calling, Fred.


Ooh! I don't want you to
give it a thought, dear.

I'll be here
with my headache.

Ooh... you just have
a lot of fun

and forget how sick
and alone I'll be.

You are sweet.

how nice to see you!

You're lovelier
than ever, cupcake.

Oh ho! You haven't
changed a bit.

You did meet my husband,
didn't you, Tiger?

Yes, we met.


My pet name
for Wilbur.

Used to
call him Tiger

Because he always
growled at me.


Ho ho ho!

Ha ha!
Just a joke.

Ha ha ha.

I haven't seen you

since Fred and I
were married.

How long
has it been?

10 happy years.

9 1/2. We better
be going, cupcake.

Right, Tiger.
See you later, Fred.


Nice meeting you,

Hope you feel better.

Oh, yes, Tiger!

Oh, what
a dream car.

It's my brand-New
imported Rockarari special.

[Cough cough]

Why, you miserable--

Ow! Ooh ooh! Ow!

So that was Wilma's
poet friend, huh, Fred?

Did you get a load
of that car?

He must be doing
all right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sniff sniff]

That perfume
is really something.

Yeah, yeah. Come on.

Let's go to
the bowling alley.

Got to hand it to you,
you old mastermind.

Don't remind me.

But you outdid
yourself tonight.

Don't remind him.

That's just what
he's afraid of.

Watch this, Fred.
The old Rubble rocket.

A strike!

O.K., Boy.
Set them up.

I know my job.
Keep your shirt on.

I only got eight hands.

[Fred] Well, there are
only 10 pins!

Your turn, Fred.


It's your turn.

Sure, sure. My turn.

Wait for the pinsetter.


Come on, Flintstone!
You're holding up the game!

Ah, pipe down.

What's wrong?
Worried about Wilma?

I'm not even
thinking about it.

O.K., Then bowl.

You stay out of it!



Sorry, fella.
It was an accident.

That happens again,

and you're going
to be an accident.

Oh, brother.

If you don't feel like
bowling, I understand.

You're worried
about Wilma.

No, Barn.
Why should I worry?

Maybe you're right,

Still, it ain't
every day

a man
loses his wife.

Look, let's get
something straight.

I am not losing Wilma.
She'd never leave me.

Stop reminding me.

I don't know, Fred.

That wilbur's
a good-Looking guy.

Will you shut up?

I know my own wife,

Right, Fred,
but so do I.

you saw Wilbur.

If you were a woman,

would you pick
me or him?


It, uh...
depends, Fred.

Depends on what?

Whether you
want honesty

Or an answer that won't
get me punched in the nose.

Are you saying you'd
pick Wilbur over me?

uh... frankly, Fred,

Neither of you
is my type.

If I had to choose,
it would be you.

Heh heh heh!

But you always said
I had no taste.

Oh, no, not again!

I give up.

I give up!

You were right,

My mind is on Wilma

And that
Wilbur character.

I wouldn't worry.
You've been married 9 1/2 years.

Closer to 10.

She knows what
you've done for her

and what she can expect
in the future.

Knowing all this,
what more can wilbur represent

when she's dancing
in his arms?

Wilma, don't leave me!
I'm coming!

Did you ever see
such a perfect couple?

Just like Fred Astone
and Ginger Rockus.

Isn't he the most handsome
thing you ever saw?

Ooh, she's such
a lucky girl.

Barn, what could
Wilma see in him?

Well, apart from
his curly hair,

cleft chin,


good looks,

charming personality,
and talent,

Uh... I don't know.

Ohh... somehow,
I got to show him up.

But how?

Need some help,


In the-- If you'll pardon
the expression-- Spirit.

Maybe we can
use you.

You see that big phony
dancing with Wilma?

The guy
with the smile?

That handsome brute?

Yeah, yeah.
That's him.

I'll tell him.

I want to show him up.

He probably can't do
anything besides a waltz,

so speed up the music--
Some hot, modern stuff.

But, Dum-Dum--

Do as I say.

He'll trip
over his feet.

O.K., Dum-Dum.

Hee hee!
Watch this, Barney!

Ha ha!

[Jazz music playing]

Beautiful! Beautiful!

Oh, that lucky girl!

Oh, what
a handsome couple.



Crowd pleaser, huh?

Look at him with that
big, confident smile.

I tried to warn you.

He's just
a show-off.

Fred, you're
getting worked up.

How would she like it
if I dated another woman?

Wait a minute!
That's it!

I'll give her a taste
of her own medicine.

I'll let her see me
out with another woman.

Oh, brother.
Here we go.

When she realizes
she may be losing me,

She'll drop
old tiger-Boy

Like a hot potato.

You'll get
another woman?

Can you do it?

my dear Dum-Dum.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
No, Fred!

I ain't your type!

Do it. Dress him up
like a girl.

A beautiful...


Well, you can't
win them all.

From here on,
you're not Barney.

You're Barbara.

Please, I don't want
to be your date.

Just for
a while, Barn--

I mean Barbara.
Come on.

Make a fuss over me
in front of Wilma.

[In high voice]
My heart won't be in it.

The things
I have to do.

Why couldn't I
be a dentist?

You're an old school friend
who just came into town,

And you are crazy
about me.

Uh, yeah, yeah. O.K.

Let's go.

There's Wilma. Remember,
we want to make her jealous.

Lay it on thick.

Yes, dear.

Ha ha ha!

That's pretty good,
Barbara, honey.

Oh, hi, Wilma,

Fred, I thought
you were ill.

I got over it when
Barbara here called.

She's an old schoolmate
of mine visiting Bedrock.

this is my wife

and Wilbur



When we were kids,

Our folks figured
we'd get hitched.

Isn't that right,

Yeah, yeah.

Heh heh heh.


Shall we dance,

You great
big dreamboat?

Heh heh heh!
Yes, poopsie.


Now, let's dance up
a storm.

That should
get her.

O.K., She's
watching, barn.

Let's pour it on.

Ha ha ha!


Oh, that was great,
Fred and barbara.

Just wonderful.

Now let's us
show them, cupcake.

I'd love to.

It didn't work,

She's too far gone
on him.

Oh, come on,
let's go home.

Home? You won't take
me out for a malted?

You're no fun at all
on a date.

Oh, cut that out!
Come on.

Some dreamboat!
Ha ha ha!

Well, thanks
anyway, Barn.

Yeah, o.K., Fred.

Hey, uh... I can't
go home like this.

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

Now what?

Switch him back.

O.K., O.K.

Ah, hey,
that's better.

The whole thing's
my fault,

Lying and thinking
only of myself,

Just like gazoo said,

And now...
now I've lost her.

That's sure tough,

If I had
another chance,

I'd never lie
to Wilma again.


maybe Gazoo can--

Nobody can,
and I deserve it.


But I thought you--

When you left, I had wilbur
take me home quickly.

Oh! He is really
such a bore.

I'm so glad, Wilma.

There's something
I want to say.

He's a bore?

Worse than that--

He brags
all the time.

The olymprocks,
dance trophies...

oh! I can't stand
that in a man.

Now, what did you
want to tell me?

Uh... well,
just that earlier...

well, the truth is,
I lied about my headache

So you would go
to the recital without me

and then I could
go bowling.


Then when Wilbur
showed up...

you really didn't
like Wilbur?

Not in the least.
Go on.

Well, uh...

you never should have gone
and left me alone.

I'm sorry, Fred.

I was being selfish.

We'll forget it
this time.

You're sweet, Fred.

I know, Wilma.
Don't let it happen again.

No, dear.

I'm going for a piece
of rockleberry pie.

Yes, dear.

La da doo
da da da doo bum bum

Hey, what's
the big idea?

You had that coming
for being a knucklehead

to a sweet girl
like Wilma.

Yeah? Let me
tell you something,

You... you...

heh heh heh...
you're right.

I deserved it.

I'm going
to march back in

and apologize
to Wilma this minute.

Maybe there's
hope for you.

You know something,
old pal?

You're a pretty
good guy after all.

So are you, Dum-Dum.
So are you.

meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're

With the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time